Evading Edward
by VampiresHaveLaws
Summary: Bella's first encounter with Edward instantly leads to a mutual dislike. She is the new girl in town that has attracted more than one admirer and he's the boy who usually gets what he wants. So how will one evade when the other is set to conquer? AH.
1. Chapter 1

**Hi, everyone! This is my first attempt at writing fanfiction; well, at writing anything really. I am a little nervous, but generally excited. I hope you all like it.**

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight.**

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Bella

I woke to the seemingly ever-present sound of rain as it violently pelted against my windows. I let out a muffled groan, my face still buried in my soft pillow. _More rain_. I never even attempted to check the weather forecast anymore—the rain was just an inevitable occurrence in my now home-town of Forks, Washington. I moved back here eight weeks ago after my mother decided to get remarried. She and her new husband, Phil were always on the road due to his profession. He was a semi-professional baseball player and ten years my mother's junior. But they loved each other, and at the end of the day, if she was happy, then I was, too. So I packed up to give them their space and decided it would be good to spend some time with Charlie before heading off to college.

My dad picked me up at the airport after my flight from Phoenix. I was a little anxious, as I hadn't seen him in over a year. We would call every few weeks to let each other know of any changes that had occurred in our mostly-predictable lives, a tradition left unbroken from the time my mother had moved us to Arizona when I was five.

It had been a silent drive back, as neither one of us ever felt the need to fill it with inane chatter. It didn't feel awkward, either; in fact, it was a welcome change from Renee's constant exuberance.

When we had pulled into the driveway in the dreaded cruiser, I automatically noticed that nothing had changed. From the outside, it was still the same house I had spent my first few years and random summers in until I was fourteen. I remember practically begging Renee to ask Charlie to visit us or go somewhere completely neutral on our yearly visits. It wasn't that I really disliked Forks**—**it was undeniably beautiful with the never-ending greenery and vast forests surrounding the town. I just found it boring sometimes.

Forks was peaceful—on the odd chance of good weather, we would go down to La Push Beach, which was located not far from the reservation. I'd been to the reservation numerous times in the past, as it housed Charlie's good friend Billy Black, and his son Jacob—who I spent a lot of time with during my younger teenage years—but hadn't seen once since I had been back in town.

Billy was a little older than Dad, but younger in spirit. He had that twinkle in his eye and was always cracking jokes; his presence was not unwelcome. They would come back from fishing trips and I would cook their recent catch for them while they sat and watched sports on the wide-screen television Charlie had recently purchased.

Fishing had been their favorite hobby since I was a kid. I'd cooked more fish these past few weeks than I had my entire seventeen years. I mean, who didn't appreciate good seafood? But fuck me, if I didn't see another pollock—or whatever the hell it was—for another ten years, it would be too soon.

Charlie was Chief of Police here in Forks, which meant that we hardly got to see much of each other during the week. He always left a note for me every morning before he left for work, though, and I would always have an evening meal ready for him when he returned.

I would start my first day at Forks High School tomorrow, something that I most definitely was not looking forward to. I did, however, have the advantage of at least knowing a few of the students there, which hopefully would make the new-girl status a little bit more bearable.

I'd spent the last eight weeks of summer in the company of my neighbours. Well, most of my waking minutes, in fact. Alice Cullen was by far the main reason for this.

Three hours after I'd arrived back in Forks—I'd just finished unpacking my minimal possessions—a small girl had let herself in through the front door, gave Charlie a bright smile, and introduced herself to me as new neighbour and soon-to-be best friend. I was completely tongue-tied and quickly took my loss of speech to look her over.

She was about five feet, spiky, black hair—blue, mischievous eyes—and a cute laugh. She was really pretty, too, with her expensive-looking clothing and friendly face. I couldn't help but smile in return, and finally managed to give my ever-present timid greeting of, _hi_ back. And well, the rest was history.

Soon after, she'd practically dragged me next door to her house to introduce me to her small circle. As soon as I'd stepped through the door, four pairs of eyes zeroed in on me. I, of course, tripped over my own feet, but for once wasn't too mortified, as it broke the awkward silence and tension that had been present moments before.

The first to introduce himself was Jasper. He'd been dating Alice for a little over two years. They were so attentive to each other. It always made me feel slightly envious that I didn't have that to share with anyone, but more than anything, it always brought a smile to my face. Jasper was tall, with a medium build, blond, wavy hair and silvery-gray eyes. His smile was calming and infectious.

Emmett—Alice's bear of a brother—had been next. Seriously, he had muscles in places I didn't know existed. He had dark brown—almost black—short, curly hair; his eyes were the shade of dark honey. When he smiled, his resulting dimples were quite possibly the most adorable—and somewhat sexiest—things I had ever seen. Which then brought me to his girlfriend of three years, and sister to Jasper, Rosalie Hale. Long blonde locks, blue eyes, plump, pink lips and a perfect figure. She had the appearance of an angel and the mouth of a trucker—intimidating didn't even cover it.

I'd learned quite a lot about my new friends in the two months since I'd met them. Jasper and Rose were twins. They were always bickering with one another, but it didn't fool me. They were deadly loyal, and if you messed with either one, the other would take you down. Emmett was the typical playful, protective brother. If I had ever been blessed with a brother, I would have liked him to have been something like Emmett. Alice was always enthusiastic and didn't take no for an answer. Her famous bottom-lipped pout and puppy dog eyes never seemed to fail. Oh, and that girl loved to shop. Seriously, when she walked into a store, the sales assistants either immediately ran to help her or turned in the opposite direction and hid for the remainder of her purchasing. But most importantly, she had turned into a great friend.

It was strange how quickly I had made friends here. Back in Phoenix, my mother was always my closet confidante. Here, I instantly found myself comfortable with all of them, especially Alice. They all made me feel welcome, for which I appreciated more than they knew.

There was a third member of the family that I had yet to actually meet. Alice's twin, Edward. He was described as a brooder who always got what he wanted. I'd only ever seen a few pictures in passing, not enough to pick out any detail of him apart from the unusual bronze shade of his hair.

While getting tortured by Alice with the latest beauty products, I would hear quick footsteps leading to the third floor of the house. I knew it must have been him, as there were only two rooms up there: his and a guest room. I very much doubted anyone would dare go into his room without his knowledge, as he was supposedly a very private person.

Sometimes I would wake in the night from the sound of a car engine or flashing headlights coming down the Cullens' driveway. One of the two windows in my bedroom faced in that direction, so it was impossible to miss.

As I still hadn't got accustomed to the sound of the rain beating against the house, I'd become a restless sleeper; hence even the slightest disturbance waking me. I wasn't sure if it could have been Edward; after all, Carlisle was a doctor and would be on call a lot of the time. To say that I hadn't become anxious and slightly nervous to meet him would be a lie. I was very rarely curious, but as I was involved with the family, it was kind of hard not to want to ask questions.

The beeping of my phone from somewhere nearby broke me from my thoughts. I fumbled blindly along my bedside table, effectively knocking over my lamp in the process. The thud it made on impact with my floor made me hope it hadn't broken. I opened my sore eyes and glanced at my digital clock: 8:02 a.m. I knew one of only two people who would ring me this early on a Sunday morning. I looked at the name of the caller flashing across my screen. Of course.

"Alice, I assume you own a clock or a guide of some sort that advises not to wake people on a Sunday until at least 11 a.m.?" I asked. I was already awake, but she didn't need to know that._ I really should look into this guide business, there must be one out there somewhere_.

"Quit your whining Bella. Get up and be over here in an hour. We have a busy day ahead of us and I want to start early."

Perhaps I was becoming a little grouchy, but lack of sleep would do that to you.

"Why? Where are we going?" I queried. I had a damn good idea where we would be going, but for some sick reason, I needed verbal verification.

"Don't play dumb with me, Bella Swan. We both know what I'm talking about." I swear if I didn't know any better, I'd say the girl was psychic.

"Come on, Alice, what else could we possibly need? We spent six and a half hours yesterday getting my shit for school." My feet were still a painful reminder of that outing.

"Well, you'll need new accessories to match your uniform, like headbands, socks and things**—**totally forgot about those yesterday. Plus, when we get back, I need to make a few alterations to your uniform."_ Oh_. _My_. _God_.

"What do you mean _alterations_?" I was thinking it was going to involve scissors.

"I'm going to have to cut at least five inches off you skirt, silly. Why they make them so long, I don't know. It's not as if anyone actually wears them knee length anyway. So, don't worry about it."

Fuck, no. I'd seen the length of their skirts, and I sure as hell was not going to have my rear-end paraded around for all the pervs at school to ogle at.

"No, no, no, no and no." _Yeah, I'm a real Jane Austen_.

"Now, don't be so difficult, Bella." There was a brief pause. "What about a compromise then, say**…** four inches?"

_Nice try, pixie but still a no-go_.

All was quiet, so I sighed in defeat, knowing I was going to have to agree on something for this conversation to ever end. "Three inches is the most I'm willing to consider. Take it or leave it." I could hear Rose mumbling in the background, something that sounded like_ stubborn bitches_. I snorted—typical Rose response.

Alice's exasperated sigh filled my ear before she agreed. "Fine, three inches. Now get up." And with that, she hung up the phone.

I grudgingly got out of bed, snatching a clean towel from the closet on my way to the bathroom. My bedroom was my sanctuary of sorts. It consisted of a double bed—next to the window that looked out towards the Cullen's property; there window seat there made it a favourite place of mine to sit while reading. Light blue paint graced my walls, and deep purple curtains—that matched my duvet cover—framed my windows. Bookcases took up the wall opposite my bed, filled with books and music that I had collected over the years. The rocking chair my mother used when nursing me as a baby still sat in the corner. A wooden desk, chair and bedside table completed the furniture.

I turned on the shower, letting the water heat while I stripped off my pajamas. I stepped under the spray, my sore muscles relaxing instantly under the heat, and proceeded to wash my hair in my favourite shampoo. Once washed, I dressed in a pair of dark wash jeans, white camisole and a blue wool cardigan, my ever-faithful chucks laced on my feet. I knew Alice particularly hated the fact that I always insisted on wearing these, or something similar, but I just didn't work well in heels.

I left my room and started for the stairs. My house was a good size, plainly decorated: no extravagant pieces of art lined the walls and the furniture wasn't grandeur or particularly expensive. It was comfortable and homely. It only really needed a new lick of paint, as again the décor hadn't changed since my mother's departure. Charlie had surprisingly managed to keep it relatively clean over the years. That, or he'd hired a housekeeper to give it a good once-over before my arrival. Either way, I was thankful I hadn't had to do it.

Once in the kitchen, I rummaged through the cupboards in search of my usual breakfast—the ever-convenient granola bar along with orange juice from the refrigerator. Charlie's note was stuck to the fridge using one of the many magnets that adorned the appliance. It had the usual scribbling of what time he should be home, and the always, 'keep safe' at the end. Also, the station's number was attached to the side of the telephone in case I needed to contact him. This number was also stored on my mobile, and on the note-board in my room. He took safety measures very seriously.

Most of the houses on this street were pretty pricey. They all had well-kept gardens and expensive-looking cars in their driveways. But none of these compared to the Cullens'. It really was exquisite. The exterior was a stark white, and the entire back wall of the house—that overlooked their back garden and small lake at the edge of the property—was floor-to-ceiling glass. I felt sorry for whoever was hired to clean those windows. I hope they were payed well.

The interior mostly consisted of neutral tones on the walls, and each room that I had entered was lavished with beautiful furnishings. A huge, winding staircase dominated the foyer and there were doors and floors leading off in all different directions throughout the house. Esme truly had a gift when it came to home décor, which made her design business extremely successful.

My ultimate favourite room in the house was without doubt the music room, with the beautiful grand piano on its highly polished raised block. The glass back-wall filtered the light through, sheathing everything in a warm glow. It reflected the gold tints in the paint, making everything seem so tranquil and somewhat magical, that I was always reluctant to leave. When Alice and Emmett wanted "quiet time" with their respective others, I'd go and sit alone in there to read, or just quietly bask in the comfort the room evoked. The piano itself, however, was strictly off limits. I was told it was Edward's baby, and if it in any way got damaged then shit would most definitely hit the proverbial fan.

I placed my glass in the dishwasher, unhooked my keys off their peg and slipped on my coat ready to face the downpour outside. I quickly locked the door behind me and started to make my way next door down the long, twisting driveway. Alice insisted I let myself in through the front door to which I always refused. I wasn't comfortable waking in as if I owned the place; so I told her I'd just use the side entrance that led into the kitchen. She even once offered to give me a key, saying it would only be fair to the return the gesture as she had a key to my house. I seriously hoped she was joking; although, that would explain how she entered without me ever hearing her.

I was just rounding one of the corners of the extensive driveway, lost in my thoughts as usual, when a silver car screeched to a stop inches in front of me. _Holy-fucking-shit._ I stood there, eyes wide, trying to control my erratic breathing. My hood must have fallen, as I could feel the sharp sting of the icy rain striking my face. I didn't know what to do. Faint? Vomit? Cry? Try to move my limbs and go and scream obscenities at the driver; start listing off all the Johnny Depp films I had ever seen?

Yeah, I was pretty much about to lose my shit.

I noticed the driver's side door opening which snapped me out of my shock-induced freak out. Then again, maybe not.

I felt my eyes bulge once again. He was tall, lean and dressed in all black. His t-shirt was sculpted to his obviously well-defined chest and torso. I nervously lifted my gaze to see a perfect jaw and prominent cheekbones all covered in familiar pale skin.

Then I heightened my gaze some more, and was met with the most piercing green eyes I had ever seen. It was almost as if they were searing straight through me, leaving a hot trail in their wake. It was then that I noticed the messy bronze hair. It looked like he'd either been running his hands through it constantly all morning, or he'd had one hell of a fucking session. From what I'd been told by the others, I decided sex hair it was.

I shook my head to clear my thoughts, momentarily breaking eye contact, before quickly glancing back up through my lashes to meet his stare once more. _OK, when had he gotten right in front of me_? I took another deep breath to calm myself; so this was Edward Cullen.

"You know, you should really look where the fuck you're going," he seethed. OK, asshole was definitely more fitting.

"What the _hell_? You do realize that you were the one driving and nearly hit _me_, right? Did you hit your head? Are you confused?" I waved my hand in front of his face as if to try and prove my statement.

He grabbed my wrist, not roughly, but forceful enough to stop my movements. I felt a shiver ripple through me, most likely due to the fact I was getting drenched out here.

I tried to move my arm but his grip didn't falter. I noticed his gaze had lowered to where we were joined, a look of confusion crossing his face. I had hardened my stare by now—he was really starting to piss me off.

"Do you think you can drop my arm now? I kind of just want to get inside, you know, out of this whole rain business?" I raised my right eyebrow, something I always did when irritated.

I felt my arm fall to my side and noticed his jaw was clenched tight. "Next time you decide to try and stop traffic, do it on someone else's fucking driveway," he stated. Seriously, could we say attitude problem?

I crossed my cold arms over my chest. "Yeah, I'll try and remember that for next time. Thanks for the advice, Yoda." Okay, that one angered him further. His eyes flashed, the green growing darker in shade. I thought he was going to speak again but he just stood there, eyeing me for a second longer before turning, muttering_ bitch_ under his breath as he got back into his car.

"Yeah, I heard that asshole!" He just flipped me off in return. I lingered in front of his car for another few seconds in retaliation. He beeped his horn in frustration which made me smile. I didn't ever act like this to complete strangers—hell not to anyone in fact—but he didn't even seem concerned about the whole nearly-running-me-down-in-his-car affair.

He didn't ask me if I was hurt, nothing. No, what I got was the f-bomb and a wrist-grab. I eventually decided to move after a few more seconds to which he just sped off to wherever he was originally headed.

I ran the remaining distance to the side entrance, proud and somewhat surprised that I hadn't slipped and fallen. I pushed down the handle, hung my coat on the hook by the door and entered the kitchen.

Carlisle was at the table reading the paper, taking sips from his mug. The smell of coffee filtered through the air, assaulting my senses. I didn't drink it myself, but I loved the smell.

He noticed my arrival and gave me a heart-stopping smile. God, if he wasn't my friends' father, and was ten years younger, I would be a constant pile of jelly around this man.

Apart from the fact that he was insanely good looking, with his blond hair, blue eyes, and extremely pert ass, he was an incredible doctor. And from what I could tell, a very caring father.

I had gotten to know the Doc quite well, what with my frequent trips to the hospital, and the fact that I was constantly in the company of his daughter. The first time I met him was after an unfortunate accident with the stairs. I was walking down from the second floor of their home only to stumble over my own feet. I was bracing myself for an imminent hospital visit from the fall, but thankfully, I fell into a pair of strong arms. I had looked up and nearly choked on the saliva that was pooling in my mouth. He had the kindest face, an amused expression playing on his lips. I swear, it was quite possible I had drooled like a St. Bernard.

Thankfully, Alice had been with me to make introductions as I didn't think I was able to speak. Also, I'm pretty sure if she wasn't there distracting me, I would have been openly eye-fucking her father on the stairs in her home. The word _awkward_ would have been the understatement of the century.

A throat clearing caught my attention. My face broke out into its usual blush as I realized I'd just been standing there staring at him, mouth most probably agape.

"How are you this morning, Bella?"

"Um... fine, thank you, Dr. Cullen. How are you?" God, kill me now, he was giving me that panty-dropping smile.

"Bella, remember, I've told you before to call me Carlisle. And I'm great, thank you. Just enjoying my day off, hoping to have a relaxing Sunday."

If I was Esme, he would be doing anything but relaxing. I mentally face palmed myself. I had to get out of dodge, like now.

"Well enjoy the rest of your day… um, I better go on up to Alice before she comes looking for me." I gave him a quick wave and scooted myself out of the kitchen as fast as possible without making it look too obvious. His own response for me to do the same reached me just as I had made contact with the first step of the stairs. I took a steadying breath and made my ascent towards the second floor.

Alice's door was already open. She was sitting crossed-legged on her bed with Rose sprawled out next to her skimming through a magazine, pointing out random things to Alice on each page. Her room consisted of a colossal bed in the center, completely dominated by throw pillows of all different shapes and sizes. All the other furniture in the room was constructed of glass, tying in with the back wall. The two walls on either side of her bed were white, leaving the main focus wall in blood-red. Her walk-in closet was too horrific for me to even think about. It was a maze in there. I got stuck in there once, resulting in nightmares about sequins and leather for a week.

"Hey, I'm here shopping Nazi." Her head snapped up from the magazine, her smile slowly slipping into a pout.

"What the hell, Bella? You're dripping all over my carpet." She got up from the bed, made her way to the land of nightmares and grabbed me a towel.

I gave her an apologetic look. "Yeah, sorry. I guess I forgot to put my hood up or something. I didn't realize it was raining so hard out." Rose snorted from her place on the bed. I looked back to Alice. She was staring at me, head cocked to the side, obviously searching for something. I didn't blame her; I wouldn't have believed my story either. I don't know why I didn't tell them about my encounter with Edward—I couldn't really explain it. I suppose I just didn't want to make a big deal about it... or have to explain to Alice that her brother, was in fact, a dick.

I ran the towel through my hair once more before a pile of clothes were shoved in my arms.

"Go change in the bathroom. You can't keep those clothes on, you'll get sick."

I looked at the heap before me. "Um, Alice, you're smaller than me, I doubt these are going to fit."

She rolled her eyes. "Silly, Bella. They're your size. I picked out some things for you a few weeks back in case of emergencies. Although, I didn't expect to have to use them due to the fact that you supposedly _forgot_ to put your hood up." That same look came across her features again so I quickly diverted my eyes and went into her adjoining bathroom to rid myself of my damp clothing.

I had found a hair tie in my jeans pocket, so I quickly braided my hair to keep the wet strands from sticking to my skin. Once ready, I made my way out and turned to close the door. Before I could fully shut it, I felt a huge pair of hands grab me by the waist and flip me over their shoulder with my denim clad ass riding high in the air. I felt and heard the rumble from a hearty laugh run through me—I knew that sound.

"Put me down, Rambo, I feel sick." I then felt a hand slap my ass cheek, hard. I let out a scream—that fucking hurt.

"I swear to god, Emmett Cullen, if you don't put her down, I will break you." Thank you, Rosalie.

"Oh, come on, babe, it's just a game. Isn't that right my sweet, virginal Bella?" Ugh, I hated when he called me that. Emmett had unfortunately overheard a conversation with Alice and Rosalie about my experience, so now I have affectionately been dubbed his 'svb'. I know he's only teasing, and would never tell anyone outside present company, so I usually give him either a thump on the arm or an eye roll.

"God, Em, I swear you just bruised me." His body sighed in response.

"_I_ didn't slap your ass, Bella." If I didn't know any better, I'd say he almost sounded disappointed.

"No, that would be me who inflicted that delight. I couldn't help myself, it just looked so perky." I turned my head to see Jasper giving me that damn goofy smile of his. I noticed Alice slyly approach him from behind and give his ass a non-too-gentle slap. I burst out laughing as he flinched.

He swept her up into his arms just as Emmett set me down on my feet. "That didn't hurt, my sweet; in fact it got me rather excited." He started attacking her neck, causing Alice to squeal in delight. I just rolled my eyes—damn horn dogs.

"Eww, god, Jasper, cut that shit out. And Alice, jump down before I drag you down. We need to get going." Oh crap, and cue the tension.

"Rose you are such a damn hypocrite. You and Em are permanently glued to each other." I saw Emmett wiggle his eyebrows in response which caused to me to stifle a giggle.

I had better step in before Rose got all Jackie Chan on his ass. The smallest things to seemed to set them off, seemingly more so in the mornings as Rose was obviously not a morning person.

I grabbed Rose's wrist, tugging her along. All the while, she was giving death stares towards her brother. Alice quickly followed behind us. I gave both boys a wave before closing the door.

We made our way down the stairs and filtered into the foyer. I was passed one of Alice's coats to put on, so I swiftly buttoned it and put the hood up.

"Glad to see you remembered this time, Bella," Rose said. She was giving me an amused expression while Alice was just staring. I gnawed on my lip, not liking all their attention directed towards me.

I cleared my throat. "So whose car we taking?" Alice grabbed her keys shouting 'mine' quickly. I wasn't shocked—she loved that Porsche. So naturally she took any excuse to drive it. I swallowed nervously. I knew Alice was a competent driver, but she drove like a maniac. I guess it ran in the family.

Edward

I'd gotten next to no sleep and had the bitch of all hangovers. I groggily turned over in my bed only to see Jasper sitting at my desk giving me that damn toothy grin of his. I was slightly surprised to see him there, as I hadn't seen much of him this summer—apart from the occasional passing on my way to and from the house.

I'd spent the majority of my time with James, Laurent, Ben, and the usual girls from school. I didn't particularly like James or Laurent, but they seemed to always be at the same parties I was at, and equally as interested in the girls as I was, so I resigned myself to their company. Ben was as quiet as always: smoked a lot of weed and only spoke if he needed to. I'd known him for a few years now. We just seemed to have a silent understanding of each other, which was fine by me.

Another reason I hadn't seen much of them—like Alice had told me last week—was that they didn't enjoy watching me take advantage of any girl that happened to catch my eye. I doubted anyone could ever take advantage of Jessica or Lauren or whoever. Those girls were the ones constantly fawning over _me_. I swear I had been violated on more than one occasion. Not that I ever really complained.

I had learned from mum at an impromptu breakfast, that Alice had befriended some new girl. Chief Swan's daughter to be precise. I was told she was a really sweet girl, and that unmistakable sparkle in Esme's eye made it obvious that she thought highly of her. I was more than a little curious to meet this girl who had won them all over, but I'd yet to come across her. Also, I wasn't sure how the Chief would react to me sniffing around his daughter. My relationship with him wasn't dire: he was fair and most likely thought of my activities as just typical teenage nonsense. I could even recall a few times he had chuckled at them. But that still didn't mean he would approve.

"What's wrong, Cullen? Can't handle your drink all of a sudden?" Jasper quipped. I aimed a pillow at his head, which just made the throbbing worse.

"How the fuck can you always be so happy in the morning? There is seriously something wrong with you. What are you doing here anyway? Have you missed me that much?" I gave him my shit eating grin, swiftly trying to block the offending light from my now open curtains with my arm. _Fucking Jasper_.

"You're right, I just can't get enough of your cheery disposition. It brightens my day," he said before he started chuckling. I soon found myself doing the same along with his sarcastic ass.

"Anyway, the girls are all going shopping soon, so me and Em are just going to hang around here, crack out Guitar Hero." He started making air guitar movements. "So, you in?"

I glanced at my clock. "I can't, sorry. I have a prior engagement."

He let out a snort. "You mean your dick does. Surely he's seen enough action already this summer?"

"What can I say? He likes the attention." My smirk was making its way across my face.

He let out a short chuckle. "I'll let you get to it then. Plus, I better go and wake Em and see Allie before she leaves." I gave him a slight nod in response—shit, again not such a good idea.

I got out of bed, making my way towards my bathroom to clean up. Once showered, I quickly got dressed and grabbed my cell phone, keys, and wallet before descending from my room towards the kitchen. I had adamantly stated my preference for my room to be on the top floor. It was private, and the fact that it had a balcony with steps leading down onto the patio was an added bonus. It meant I could usually come and go at night undetected.

I pushed the door to the kitchen open just wanting to grab a bottle of water and find something to kill my headache, but then I paused, noticing who was sitting at the table.

I involuntarily ran my hands up and down my face. I hadn't seen Carlisle since our last talk two weeks ago, which needless to say, didn't end well.

"If you're here to lecture me, Dad, can you at least make it quick? I have somewhere I need to be." He had obviously not noticed me standing awkwardly in the doorway, as his head snapped up from the paper he held between his hands.

"A lecture, son, would indicate that you've done something wrong. Something to get off your chest perhaps?" he asked. Yeah, like I was going to tell him shit.

"Nope, not that I can think of. But I promise to think real hard about it in time for one of our next father-son chats."

I noticed he had set the paper down flat on the table, as the thumb and forefinger of his left hand were now pinching the bridge of his nose, something he did when stressed; a habit which I myself, had picked up from him over the years.

"Edward, all this attitude has got to stop. I wasn't going to lecture you about anything. I was simply just enjoying a rare Sunday off, sitting quietly reading the paper. However, I did receive a phone call from Mrs. Clearwater next door complaining again of cars coming and going at all times during the night. Now, before you say anything, I know you start school again tomorrow and probably wanted to make the most of the time left, but you have to take other people into consideration. You know she's had a hard time since Harry's death trying to bring up Leah and Seth by herself, so, in the future, just try to keep the noise down. That's all I'm asking."

Fuck, that woman was a hypocrite. When I arrived home this morning, Leah was parked outside her house surrounded by all those damn assholes from the reservation down in La Push, hence all the noise.

He just continued to stare at me, obviously waiting for some sort of acknowledgement, so I just gave a curt nod in reply. With that, I forgot all about the reason I had entered the kitchen in the first place, and proceeded to exit through the side door and make my way to my Volvo.

I sped off down the driveway, looking for my iPod in the glove compartment of my car; finally, I noticed the black casing. Just as I was about to place it in the dock, a blur clouded my vision as something shot out in front of me. I slammed on my brakes, squeezing my eyes shut, hoping like hell I didn't hit whatever the fuck it was.

I nervously opened my eyes, hands shaking slightly, and was completely stunned to see a girl, wide eyed and frozen, just staring towards me in utter shock. Well... fuck. What the hell was she doing here? And better yet, who the hell _was_ she? She was still just standing there getting drenched. I decided I had better get out of the car and check to see if she was alright. I really hoped I hadn't in anyway hurt her.

I opened my door, trying to dodge the puddle to my left as I made my way towards her. She was still staring, eyes bulging even more so than before. I silently took note of her. Wavy, long brown hair, heart shaped face, pale skin, perfect red lips, naturally so. Finally those eyes, a warm brown. She seemed to be contemplating something, judging by the little crease that had formed between her eyebrows. Her head shook, breaking eye contact for just a moment, before glancing back at me through her wet lashes. It felt like she could see straight through me. I didn't like it, it unnerved me. I hadn't realized I had gotten so close, the mist of her breaths blowing across my face. I felt uncomfortable, so I did what I did best, letting my irritation out, snapping at her.

"You know, you really should look where the fuck you're going." A scowl formed on her face from my harsh words, probably pissed that I hadn't apologized. I couldn't really blame her.

"What the _hell_? You do realize that you were the one who nearly hit _me_, right? Did you hit your head? Are you confused?" She started waving her small hands in front of my face, causing my irritation to deepen. I reached out and grabbed her wrist, stopping her actions. I felt her trying to pry herself from my grip just as a shiver ran straight through me. I glanced down at our hands, only then realizing it was still raining heavily, droplets of water were cascading down the sleeve of her coat onto the back of my hand. She seemed to also notice that we were getting soaked, and gave me some sarcastic remark about wanting to get inside. I dropped her arm, replying with my own sarcastic remark about the next time she wanted to stop traffic to do it on someone else's property. I had to hold in a smirk as I saw her defiantly raise her right eyebrow before crossing her arms over her chest.

"Yeah, I'll try and remember that for next time. Thanks for the advice, Yoda." Wait, did she just say _next time_? Anger was coursing through my veins. I took one more contemplating glance at her, just then realizing that perhaps this was the elusive girl from next door. She didn't look anything like the Chief, but that really didn't mean anything. What I did know, was that this girl had a big attitude problem. I even think I muttered 'bitch' out loud due to the hardened gaze she shot in my direction. I turned, making my way back to my car, slamming the door shut. Yeah, she had definitely heard it, and told me so. I just flipped her off in response. I glanced back up—she was still fucking standing there. I could tell she was doing it to piss me off further. I beeped the horn, a smile forming on that bitchy, perfect mouth of hers. Yep, definitely doing it on purpose.

She eventually moved out of the way, so I pushed down hard on the accelerator and sped off. Pulling my phone out of my pocket, I rang the number of my destination. She answered in her usual high-pitched and somewhat nasally voice.

"Why, hello, Eddie." God, I hated that abbreviation.

"I'll be there in five minutes, be ready." I flipped the phone shut, not bothering to wait for a reply. I needed to release my frustration desperately, so what better way to do so than with the ever-willing Jessica Stanley?


	2. Chapter 2

**Thank you to everyone who added Evading Edward to their favourites and story alerts. Thank you so much for reviewing, too.**

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight.**

* * *

Bella

"Alice, I just bought these exact same socks in three different colours already. I do not need any more." She gave me that damn pout. "God, fine, give them here." Her triumphant smile lit up her face, which was a stark contrast to the defeated one that graced mine.

According to Alice, I could only wear knee-length socks to Forks High—ankle socks were a big no-no in the fashion stakes. I officially hated uniforms. Like I really gave a shit about socks, but I didn't want to get into another debate, so I just complied.

"Bella, you're going to look great tomorrow. I'm so excited to see everyone's reaction to your gorgeous self." I, of course, blushed like a fool. I'd never done well with compliments.

"Thanks, Alice. But I doubt anyone is going to be looking in my direction with you and Rose standing next to me." I really wanted to change the conversation, so I said: "Now let's go pick up the last items on the list so we can go eat, I'm hungry." She shot me a playful frown.

"Bella, you don't see yourself very clearly. You truly are beautiful," Alice replied genuinely. I saw Rose walk over to us from the lingerie section, arms full of bras and things that—quite frankly—scared the shit out of me. She noticed my expression and a sly smirk appeared on her face.

"Oh, Bella, I'm glad you've taken an interest in this lingerie here. You see, silly me, I picked up the wrong size. It all looks like it would fit you, so now that you have them, you might as well go try them on." I was about to say I didn't have them but she thrust the items into my arms. Next thing I knew, I felt myself being pushed in the direction of the changing rooms. I began to feel panic bubbling in my chest, and a light sheen of sweat had started to form on the back of my neck.

"Why do I need all this? I thought we were just here to pick up school stuff?" I was giving them both my best pleading look, my eyes practically begging them.

"Well, you'll obviously need to wear underwear to school, so technically it is school stuff." That damn sly smirk had made its reappearance. I gave them both a glare before locking myself in the room to see what the hell she had actually given me.

There were bras and panties in all different colours. I gave a snort—like I'd actually wear half of this shit. I huffed loudly when trying them on just to let Evil One and Evil Two out there know I wasn't happy. Yes, it was childish, but I was just in one of those moods.

In the end, a few sets weren't actually too bad. The lace boy shorts were cute, but I drew the line at the thongs. I quickly got redressed and opened the door.

"I'll take the black, white, lilac, and midnight blue set, but the rest are going back." I stormed out to pay while they thankfully cleared the rest away. Their winning smiles made me want to lovingly punch them.

I knew their smiles were a result of the fact that they didn't have to force me to buy any of it. They realized once I'd tried them on, I would like some of the items enough to buy them myself, which just caused a small smile to form on my own face at how quickly they had gotten to know me.

We got the remainder of items on Alice's list—like seriously, she had this giant ass list. To make matters even more surreal, it wasn't even written on just plain old notepad paper either. Oh no. It had some pink flower-type border and was even scented. Yeah, the girl was also a force to be reckoned with in stationary. Who would have known?

It didn't take us as long as it should have to arrive back in Forks—Alice and her Porsche saw to that. We decided we were all pretty hungry after all of the shopping, so we stopped off at Newton's.

Newton's was the only real place to go in Forks, so it was usually packed with the locals, young and old. The older generation tended to stay at the counter, which left the booths for the younger members to sit.

When we made it to a free booth, I could see Mike from the corner of my eye slinking his way towards us. I groaned while trying to hide my face in my hands.

"What's wrong, Bella?" Before I had time to reply to Rose, Mike was standing right next to me, the smell of his cheap cologne making me feel a little nauseous.

"Hi, Rose, Alice..." there was a brief pause—he was obviously waiting for me to look at him—so I raised my head to meet his eyes. "Bella."

"Hi, Mike." I tried to place a genuine smile on my face, hoping that he wouldn't notice the effort put into it. Rose gave a snort, and it took everything in me not to turn around and give her the stink eye.

"So, Mike, school tomorrow, huh? New semester, new friends." Alice was looking between myself and Mike with a recognizable glint in her eye. Oh, hell no.

"Yeah, new friends are always good," he said, giving me that damn excitable puppy look again. It made me feel slightly guilty that I couldn't share his enthusiasm.

It wasn't that Mike was ugly; he had the whole sandy blonde hair, blue eyes deal—a boyish-charm about him that was likeable. It was just that I wasn't interested, and I didn't want to hurt his feelings.

I wasn't used to attention from boys, as back in Phoenix, I was practically invisible. Like I said, my mother was my closet friend. I first met Mike a few weeks back. I had walked into the diner with Rose and Em and he'd practically appeared from nowhere, introducing himself so quickly I nearly collided with a waitress. Emmett had given him a hard stare. I knew it had been unnecessary, but it made me smile that he was using the same protective attitude he had for Alice and Rose, for me, too. Mike had quickly proceeded to take our order and left the table with another smile in my direction.

Now, every time I walked through the doors, he was there, being his usual over-eager self.

"So what will it be, girls?" I glanced at my menu, trying to decide what I wanted.

"I'll have the roast beef on white," Rose said. She almost always had the same thing. The reason for this—like I've heard her say countless times before—is because she likes her 'meat.'

Alice chose the the chicken salad, while I had their famous burger, which made up for the staring every time—they were _so_ good. I ordered all three of us some cokes, in need of sugar.

Once Mike had left with our order, and Lauren—who had given me one of her customary sneers—had brought us our drinks, I was finally able to relax a little bit. I turned my head to see Alice smiling with that same glint in her eye. I sighed. "What Alice?"

"So, Bella," she took a sip of her coke. "Mike seems to like you."

"Yeah, he seems friendly," I gave her a shrug of my shoulders, trying to show her I wasn't interested in having this discussion. Ever.

"He looks a little more than friendly, Bella. I'm surprised he hasn't tried to dry hump your leg yet. The boy practically had his tongue hanging out of his mouth as soon as you walked through the door." I coughed, choking a little on my drink at Rose's words, laughter ringing out of my mouth.

"God, Rose, give me warning before you say things like that." I had a mental image of her previous statement and shivered. G_ross_.

"But seriously, though—Mike's not all that bad. There are a lot worse around here. Just think about it." Alice was always trying to play matchmaker. This wasn't the first time she had done so since we'd met, and I very much doubted it would be the last. I would just have to continue to ignore her suggestions.

Mike brought over our food, and I pretended to be texting someone on my phone so he couldn't talk to me. In reality, I was just scrolling through random crap, but nevertheless, I muttered a quiet thanks and waited for him to leave before tucking into my burger. I let out an involuntary groan—like I said, those burgers were heaven. Unfortunately, my moan of pleasure caught the attention of a person at the booth next to ours: Tyler Crowley. He not-so-subtly licked his lips at me and I shifted in my seat uncomfortably. _Disgusting_. Lauren seemed to notice his attention towards me and sent me another death glare._ Fucking great_. I really wanted to shout _he's all yours, as I don't date weasels_ but thought better of it.

Alice had sneakily paid for our meal, to which I declared I would be buying the next time. I had a real antipathy to people spending money on me, even if, like Alice said, "It's just a damn burger!"

I was stubborn and would make sure I bought the next one.

We pulled up outside her home again in no time at all. I was trying to unravel all the bags that had somehow ended up hanging off all available limbs, without causing myself an injury.

"Boys, come and help the girls unload their bags from the car." Esme was standing on the front steps of the house in all her honey-hair and warm-eyes glory. She had a timeless, classic beauty about her, and her facial expressions just screamed motherly cordiality. It made me wish I could see Renee sometime before Christmas, but I knew that wouldn't be happening. She gave me a wink as if noticing my train of thought, to which I gave her a shy, grateful smile in return.

We heard Emmett's booming voice before he even came into sight. He slipped past Esme, stopping to give her a peck on the cheek as he passed. I saw Jasper get a mischievous look on his face and went to her opposite cheek to do the same, making sure to make a big kissing sound to get Emmett's attention.

"Mrs. C., always a pleasure." Emmett gave him a swift punch in the arm. Esme just smiled, shaking her head softly before going back inside.

"Em, your mother's a beautiful lady, she deserves to be lavished in affection." Emmett made a disgruntled face before helping Rose with her bags.

"I have to agree with Jazz. Although, the good doctor is my preferred adult in the house. He's _hot_." Rose was staring off into space, sighing. I didn't want to imagine the scenarios that were probably running through her head right now.

"Ewww, Rose, please. That's my _dad,_" Alice said. She made exaggerated gagging noises, causing me to start giggling softly.

"You agree with me, don't you, Bella?" That made me stop laughing. All four of them turned in my direction. My cheeks were on fire—that alone must have given me away.

I cleared my throat, "Um yeah, he's... yes, they're both very attractive." Jasper snickered, while Rose just got a self-satisfied smile on her face. Alice and Em on the other hand, looked grossed out.

Suddenly that shifted and Alice started smiling wickedly at me and said, "Well, if we're really talking about this, then I'll come clean, too. Bella, your dad's 'stache totally does it for me. He has that whole Tom Selleck, older-man thing going on." Emmett's guffaw was the last thing I heard before I covered my ears with my hands, humming a song in my head to block them out.

I waited a couple of minutes just to be safe. "OK, enough. I don't want to hear any more." I gripped my bags tighter, making a bee-line for my house. I heard Em start talking about Mrs. Hale. I really didn't want to hear what I knew would probably be something really embarrassing come out of his mouth.

Alice's voice caught up to me. "Where you going, Bella?"

I turned towards her. "I'm just going to dump my bags off at home, and I quickly need to put the casserole I made yesterday in the oven, otherwise I'll be eating more fish, and I seriously don't think my stomach can take it. I'll be right back."

"Alright, we'll most probably be in the den. Oh, and make sure you bring your skirt. I'll go and get everything ready now." She skipped off, bags in hand alongside Jasper, and disappeared through the door.

Once home, I rushed up to my bedroom and dropped everything on my bed—I'd deal with it all later. I swiped my skirt from my closet and made my way back downstairs to the kitchen. Charlie still wasn't home from his fishing trip, so I grabbed the casserole from the fridge and placed it in the oven. I adjusted the temperature slightly as I didn't know how much longer Charlie or I would be, and I didn't want it to overcook.

I locked the front door for the second time that day, and started strolling back down the driveway, my skirt in hand. As I neared the house, I noticed the silver car from this morning parked off to the side and paused—would he have said anything to the others? I momentarily wondered if I should just turn back around. That wouldn't really solve anything, though, as Alice would just come and drag me back over. I hesitantly carried on walking, my bottom lip getting crushed between my teeth.

I got to the side entrance, and thought _fuck it_. I hadn't done anything wrong, so I opened the door, stepped in, and listened for any movement in the kitchen. I couldn't hear anything, so I walked in and carried on towards the den. This room was designed for fun. It had a pool table down the one end, one of those projector cinema-like screens that came down from the ceiling at the opposite end. The bookcases were filled with an abundance of DVDs. Expensive stereo systems and speakers were dotted around the room, and the door to the right led into the indoor pool.

As I got nearer, I could hear music and shouting. Emmett's distinctive guffaw spilled out into the hallway. I stood outside the already open door. They all had their backs to me. Edward was playing Guitar Hero, and what I could gather from Jazz's mumblings, he was beating his score.

I knocked loudly to let them know I was there, and all five swiftly turned to look to me. I made sure to avoid looking at Edward, and nervously started shifting my weight from one foot to the other.

I cleared my throat. "Um, I've got my skirt, Alice. Do you want to get started?" I twisted the fabric nervously in my hands, just wanting to leave already.

"Oh, that can wait a minute, Bella." She came forward and grabbed my arm, pushing me straight in front of Edward. "Bella, this is my other brother Edward, who has generously decided to grace us with his presence. Doesn't matter that we haven't seen him all summer. We would have introduced you earlier, but you see, my dear brother has quite the social life. It looks like his harem is out of service today, hence why he is here." Something told me she was pissed. Crap, did he tell her and she's mad at me for lying? I took a chance and glanced up at him, but his hardened gaze was directed straight at Alice, her own scowl directed right back at him. Thankfully, it just looked like she was calling him out on his behaviour. I involuntary found myself smiling at this fact—all five-feet of Alice calling him out on his shit. You really didn't want to get on her bad side.

He turned, and all too sudden his eyes were boring into mine, just like this morning. I gazed back, refusing to look away first, like he probably wanted. I felt my smile slipping from my mouth. I made sure to show no type of emotion on my face as I didn't want the others to guess at anything. His eyes started to narrow slightly, before he stuck his hand out to me.

"Pleasure to meet you, Bella," he said, testing me. A smirk had appeared on his lips, obviously thinking I'd back down and wouldn't touch him after what happened this morning.

I took his hand. "Yeah, you too, Edwin." Emmett roared in laughter and I gave a confused expression, tilting my head a little in his direction, but still not taking my eyes off Edward. His smirk had dropped and I could see his jaw clenching. My hand was still grasped in his, and I noticed the pressure had increased slightly. I waited a few more seconds before slipping my hand away.

"It's Edward, actually." He knew I was doing it on purpose, yet didn't call me out on it.

"Oh, I'm sorry, what did I say?" My eyes must have been sparkling in silent victory.

"You called me Edwin." Emmett guffawed again and slung his arm around my shoulders.

"Oh, Bella, you crack me up," Emmett said. I smiled in response and rested my head against his chest.

"Sorry, Edward, slip of the tongue I guess." I just shrugged my shoulders and gave an Oscar-worthy apologetic look.

"It's fine, no harm done." The fact that his response came out of clenched teeth told me otherwise.

He eventually turned away first, and I mentally gave myself a high five. He restarted his game, sound once again filling the room. I held up my skirt to Alice who was looking at me curiously. She quickly snapped out of it and nodded her head.

"Right, come on then, B. Mom's probably got the machine set up by now. You can go change in the downstairs bathroom, then just meet us in the dining room." She skipped past me, leaving the room.

"OK." I went to leave but hesitated, "Nice to meet you, Edward." He stiffened—I could tell he was still angry. For a second, I didn't think he was going to respond.

"Yeah you too... Bella." By the tone of his voice, I could tell he most likely wanted to say something else, but couldn't within present company. I let it go and left to change.

After I'd put on my skirt, I took a look in the mirror. My cheeks were flushed a deep-pink, and were a little warm. I ran the tap, splashing my face with some cold water, trying to somewhat calm my face. My braid had come half undone with strands sticking out everywhere. I took out the tie and ran my fingers through my hair, leaving it loose.

His presence and attitude had once again left me feeling aggravated. I felt an incessant need to not back down to him. I was usually a non-confrontational person, yet I'd found myself twice in one day doing the total opposite. I folded my jeans neatly and left them on the basket in the bathroom. I closed my eyes, trying to clear my brain. I turned the lock, took a deep breath, and walked out. My feet soundlessly moved in the direction of the dining room, where I knew I'd find Alice and Esme waiting to attack my already already fine school skirt.

I stumbled through the door to see needles, pins, and baskets full of different coloured thread all laid out on the huge table, with Esme standing next to a giant sewing machine. I looked down at my legs, then back to the table and sighed. This had disaster written all over it.

"It's okay, dear. I won't prick you with any of the pins or anything. I know you don't deal well with blood, however minimal. I promise to be careful." She gave me a comforting smile. How did she seemingly know what I was always thinking?

"I'm a mother, I've had years of practice at reading my children." Shit, there she went again with the psychic stuff again. I knew I should have been freaked out by it, but Esme was the kindest woman I'd ever met, so I knew there was nothing to worry about. Also, I now understood where Alice got her uncanny ability from.

I just nodded in response. "Right, where do you want me?" At this point Alice walked through the door with the biggest pair of scissors I'd ever seen—they looked like fucking garden shears. God, help me.

Edward

My eyes rolled back in head. My breaths became laboured. With one last thrust into her mouth, I came, spilling down her throat. She started moaning at this, which made it a good job I'd already finished, as that sound was enough to make any dick go soft. I pulled back out of her mouth, tucked myself in and zipped up. I ran a hand through my hair, gave her a quick peck on the top of her head for her efforts. She was still on her knees—eye level with my crotch—licking her lips while trying to scramble to her feet.

"Thanks, Jess. I'll see you at school tomorrow." I didn't feel like reciprocating, not that I ever did. She was used to it.

"Okay, Eddie. I'll wait for you in the parking lot before class in the morning then." She could wait all she wanted, didn't mean I'd be meeting her there. That was the problem with some of those girls; they gave you head a few times and automatically thought you had a thing together. If she didn't have a mouth like a hoover, I wouldn't even have bothered with her. She wasn't ugly, but Christ was that girl fucking annoying. She was constantly rambling on about one thing or another. I'd gotten pretty good at blocking her voice out of my head, but sometimes it was just impossible.

I'd just gotten into my Volvo when my phone beeped, signalling I had a text. I flipped my phone open, looking to see who it was from. The screen read, _James. _What did the dickhead want now?

_Over at Ben's. You coming over or what?_

I looked at the clock on the dashboard. It was still pretty early and I didn't have anything better to do, so I pulled away from Jessica's and drove through the few streets that separated the two houses. Ben's father was hardly ever home. He worked away a lot and his mother worked at the hospital alongside my father as a nurse, so she was also absent quite a bit. This only really fuelled his drug habit, as he had no parental guidance or supervision. He could basically do what he wanted without the fear of being caught.

I cut the engine and stepped out, locking the door behind me. I strolled up to the front door, kicking random bits of gravel along the way. I stopped with my hand mid-air, but knew there was no point in knocking, so I just let myself in and went into the lounge.

I was greeted with a room full of smoke. "Fuck, open a window or some shit. It stinks in here." I slid the patio doors open to allow some fresh air in, allowing the smoke to hopefully start making its way out. I plopped down in the nearest chair to the doors and ran my hands languidly down my face. My fingertips hovered over my stubbly jawline... damn I really needed a shave. Also, I was in desperate need of a shower, as I wanted to get Stanley's spit off of me.

"Oh, someone's a little testy this morning. What, haven't you been able to find one of your bitches to get you off or something?" James and Laurent were both sniggering on the couch, while Ben was in one of the two chairs in the room. He put out his joint in the ashtray on the table beside him, shaking his head at James' words. He didn't really like the way we treated girls.

"For your information, James, I've just gotten back from Jess's, so that's obviously not the problem. I just woke up with a headache, alright? And you know how I hate the smell of this shit." I moved my arms around, motioning to all the smoke. It was true, I never touched the stuff.

"Plus, I had a run in with some fucking shrew in my driveway this morning, so I'm just not in the mood for anyone's bullshit." I sunk further back into the chair and sighed, pinching the bridge of my nose and closing my eyes from the onslaught of smoke that was beginning to make them sting.

I peeked my left eye open and saw Ben had silently nodded his head in agreement. Laurent fiddled with his pansy ass hair and James gave me his usual twisted smile. Asshole.

He put up his hands. "Fair enough. So who's the shrew that's got you so riled up, Eddie? I haven't seen you _this_ pissy for a while." I shot him an angry stare. I knew he only called me Eddie to get a rise out of me—he knew how much I hated it—and fuck if it didn't work.

My right leg bounced up and down in aggravation. I sighed for what felt like the hundredth time that day. "That's the thing—I'm not really sure who she is. I mean, I think it could be the Chief's daughter who just moved in next door. I know Alice has befriended her or some shit, and it looked as if she came from that direction, but I can't be positive."

James's gaze drifted off to look out the doors. "The Chief's daughter, huh?" James had had a grudge on Charlie for a while due to a couple of previous arrests in the past. Whatever he was thinking wouldn't be savoury. "What does she look like?"

I searched his face, wondering why he was so interested. "What's it to you, James?" He met my gaze. His eyes held no emotion, just blank and expressionless.

"What? It's a simple question. I'm just curious, I guess. After all, I'll be meeting her in school tomorrow anyway, and what sort of good citizen would I be if I didn't introduce myself to the helpless new girl?"

"That's the thing; there is nothing good about any of your intentions. And she seems anything but helpless." He put a hand over his heart, faking hurt. I shook my head laughing.

"She's medium height, long brown hair, brown eyes, pale." I shrugged my shoulders, not knowing what else I could say.

"So, is she attractive?" That threw me. I hadn't really thought about it.

"I don't know, she isn't ugly. But like I said earlier, she's a fucking shrew. She won't fall willingly at your feet like all the other girls in Forks." There was a gleam in his eye now. I could see that my description of her had sparked his interest.

"Well, I haven't had a good challenge in a while. If there is one thing I love, it's the hunt." A sadistic grin swept across his face, his cold eyes brimming with excitement.

I rolled my eyes, leaning my head back to stare at the ceiling. He was going to need all the luck he can get. In fact, I hoped she rejected his sorry ass.

"I think she sounds alright. I mean, it's about time someone has the sense to say no to either one of you." Ben took a sip from his drink, looking as nonchalant as ever.

"No one has ever said no to Edward Cullen. If I wanted her, I could get her. I just don't want to." Laurent chuckled, taking a break from his obviously fascinating hair.

"I think you're just afraid the little new-girl from next door will be the first to say no to you. Also from your demeanour, it sure looks like she did a number on you to evoke such a hostile reaction." I bit the inside of my cheek to keep myself from lunging across the room at him. Again, why did I hang out with this prick?

He carried on. "She's probably too good for you anyway. Plus, it would be a waste if she were to settle for you when I'm here." James gave a throaty laugh and pushed Laurent's shoulder. Yeah, real fucking hilarious.

"Yeah, keep telling yourself that." I glanced at my watch—I couldn't stay here with these two douches any longer. "Alright, I'm out." I pushed myself out of the chair and stopped, remembering something.

I turned to Ben. "You need a ride for school tomorrow, or are you good?" He thought for a minute, absently drumming his fingers on the arm of his chair.

"Yeah, a ride would be good. Thanks, man." I told him I'd be back to pick him up at eight-thirty. I gave them all a nod, and walked out without another word.

I came to the entrance of my driveway, and for some frustrating reason found myself being unusually cautious. I half expected the girl to just fucking appear again. I eventually made it to the end of the driveway and pulled over towards the side, cutting the engine. I grabbed my iPod and slammed my door behind me, feeling stupid for being so paranoid. I noticed Alice's Porsche was parked in its usual spot next to Emmett's Jeep; so they were back from shopping then.

I walked in to see Em, t-shirt tied around his head like a damn bandanna, playing Guitar Hero. He was attempting Play That Funky Music by Wild Cherry. He was doing this gay ass dance and was singing so bad that I was convinced we would have a fuck load of cats trying to claw their way into the house and join him with his rendition. He looked so ridiculous that I couldn't help bursting out laughing. I grabbed my sides, trying not to fall over from the force of it.

Jazz spun around and couldn't help but join me in my hysterics. Em just ran and tackled me to the floor, roughing up my hair and playfully jabbing me in my sides.

"Fuck, Em, that's the funniest shit I've seen in ages." I pushed him off me and wiped the tears from my eyes. Jazz was still trying to collect himself, struggling to push himself off the wall he was leaning on to make his way over to us.

"I've missed you this summer, baby bro." Emmett was nearly a year older than me and Alice, but due to the date and month his birthday fell on, my parents were given the choice of which grade to put him in, and my mother being the way she was, decided that we should all be together.

"Yeah, yeah." I gave him a playful shove on the shoulder.

I glanced around us. "So where is everyone?"

"Dad's in the garage doing some work on his car, and Mom's around here somewhere. Alice and Rose just got back from shopping with Bella, so I'm sure they'll be down here any minute." So the shrew had a name.

"So, who exactly is this Bella?" I was staring somewhat intensely at my brother, wondering if my deduction of her was accurate.

Em looked away for a minute before continuing. "She's the Chief's daughter. She moved here from Phoenix. Her mom recently got remarried, so she shipped herself back here. I'm surprised you haven't met her yet; she's practically been living here these past weeks." Jasper slipped past us to sit on the couch, resting his right ankle on his left knee.

"Well, I haven't exactly been around now have I?" He gave me an eye roll, before lazily dropping onto the couch next to Jazz.

"No, I don't suppose you have. You're pussy whipped." I flipped him off. "Anyway, she's great: funny, intelligent, kind-hearted. I already kind of think of her as a sister. She just sort of fits with us, you know?" Of course Emmett would take over the protector role. Despite his intimidating exterior, he was a teddy bear, the joker among us. He very rarely lost his temper; only those who truly deserved it ever faced his anger.

"Yeah, I have to agree with Em. Plus, the girls adore her. Alice especially." Well shit. She was fucking loved by everyone. They obviously hadn't met 'Bella the Bitch' yet.

"She sounds..." I swallowed my own feelings down, "nice. I'm glad Alice has..." I was cut off by a very angry twin standing in the doorway. Hands on hips, tapping her right foot briskly against the carpeted floor. Her eyes were dangerously narrowed in my direction, her pout in full force. I wondered if it was because she had heard about what had happened this morning.

"Oh, look who it is! So _nice_ of you to join us. To what do we owe the pleasure, Edward?" I turned my back on her, not wanting to deal with her sarcasm, and selected a new song.

I heard her huff. Her feet stomped in my direction. "By the way, you have Stanley lip-shit on your ear, so you may want to go and wash it off." Emmett of course found that hilarious. Rose came up behind Alice and gave her a tap on the back, a silent congratulations, I'm sure.

I just carried on playing. Jasper was trying to put me off by shouting random crap as I was getting close to his highest score.

A loud knock broke us all off. I spun round to see the witch herself standing there, shifting her weight awkwardly from foot to foot. I was on edge, just waiting for the flying monkeys to follow her through the door. I also noticed she wouldn't meet my gaze.

She cleared her throat after a moment. "Um, I've got my skirt Alice. Do you want get started?" I turned my attention towards my sister who was smiling excitedly. She bounced her way towards Bella, brushed her question aside and pushed her straight towards me.

"Bella, this is my other brother Edward, who has generously decided to grace us with his presence. Doesn't matter that we haven't seen him all summer. We would have introduced you earlier, but you see, my dear brother has quite the social life. It looks like his harem is out of service today, hence why he is here." I was now openly glaring. I didn't want her giving out information about me to this girl.

My eyes involuntarily moved to Bella's face. She had a smile on her lips. Why the fuck was she smiling? Her eyes were unmoving from mine, her gaze intense. Then her smile fell, her face completely expressionless.

I stuck my hand out towards her. "Pleasure to meet you, Bella." I smirked at the surprise etched across her features. I knew it would be difficult for her to pretend to play nice with me, and didn't think she'd take my hand. Everyone was silently watching our exchange.

I was shocked when she gripped my hand back. "Yeah, you too, Edwin." I clenched my jaw; Emmett's laugh was ringing through my ears.

I tried to keep my smile in place. "It's Edward, actually." She was faking ignorance. Making out she didn't know what she had said. From the glint in her eyes, I knew she fucking did it on purpose. I repeated what she had supposedly accidentally called me, Emmett once again cracking up. He got up off the couch and slung his arm around her shoulders, congratulating her on her humour. She had her head resting on his chest, eyes still glued to mine. She pretended to be all apologetic and shit.

I managed to get my response out of my tightly clenched teeth. "It's fine, no harm done." I focused my attention back on my game, not wanting to look at her victorious expression.

I heard Alice say something about a skirt and heard her leave the room. I sighed in relief thinking that Bella had left also, so I stiffened when her voice floated back to me.

"Nice to meet you, Edward." I hesitated for a moment before replying.

"Yeah you too... Bella." I heard the scurry of her feet leave the room. I paused my game, both my hands tugging my hair.

Rose broke the silence. "Well, that was a little weird. She usually finds it difficult to keep eye contact with people she doesn't know, but your gazes were locked the entire time." I just shrugged my shoulders, not wanting to draw any more attention to it.

"Perhaps she feels like she already knows me or some shit, most likely due to all the crap you've told her about me."

"Nope, wouldn't be that, we haven't really discussed you. Alice thought it might scare her away if she found out about your womanizing ways." That surprised me. Usually Alice didn't have a problem spouting my business to an eager listener.

"It could just be our Edward's charm dazzling all the ladies." Jazz pinched my cheeks before I slapped his hand away.

"Don't flatter him any more, for God's sake. His ego is already taking up too much valuable space in this town. Plus, I don't think Bella is the type of girl to get dazzled. I mean, you should see the way she handles herself around Newton. He's continuously pining over her at any available moment, and she keeps her cool. I would have already punched him in the balls by now." Em, Jazz and I all winced. Yeah, the boy had a face only a mother could love, but still, just, _ouch._ Rose placed a quick kiss on Emmett's lips before she left the room, probably to go in search of the others.

I stretched my arms above my head, yawning while doing so. "I'm going to go shower." I got to the foot of the stairs before Em called me back.

"Hey, Alice is driving the Porsche to school tomorrow as it's Bella's first day and all. She wants to make sure she arrives in style, so she said the Jeep was out. Bella, of course, thinks it's all ridiculous, but there is no deterring Alice when her mind is set. So, can we..."

"You want to know if you and Jazz can get a ride with me? Yeah, that's fine. We've got to make a stop on the way to get Ben, as his car is still in the garage, so we'll need to leave here about eight twenty."

"Thanks, dude." His arm made its way around my shoulders, and he pulled me into a giant bear hug. "We really did miss you this summer, bro."

"Can't breathe here, Em." He set me down again and I said, "Yeah, I missed you too. Well not all the time, especially not when I'd..."

He laughed, shaking his head. "Yeah, I get the picture." Chuckling, I made my way up the stairs and into my bedroom.

After my shower, I walked over to my dresser and pulled out a pair of boxers and sweats, slipping them both on while simultaneously trying to remember where I had put my cigarettes. I checked my desk and found them, along with my lighter, nestled among some books.

I pushed the door to the balcony open, walking out into the cool evening. I placed my elbows on the rail, lit my cigarette and inhaled, taking a welcome drag. I heard the crunching of gravel from below me, my attention caught. I looked down to see Bella making her trip down the driveway back to her house. My tongue snaked out of my mouth, running itself over my bottom lip, before I placed the cigarette between them once again. I wondered to myself how one girl could suddenly make herself a permanent fixture in my family. I didn't like the fact that she had been so easily accepted; what made her so special?

I put my cigarette out on the rail, a firework of embers flying out due to the sudden impact. Once they had all died out, I dropped it into the half empty flower pot to my right, making sure not to litter them around the grounds to keep Mom happy.

Doors locked, I took one last look out towards the curious girl before I stretched my hands out on either side of me, finding fabric. I swiftly pulled the curtains closed, effectively blocking out the last remaining light, and Bella's retreating form with it.


	3. Chapter 3

**Again, thank you to everyone for adding me to their favourites and story alerts.**

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight**

* * *

Bella

The shrill ringing of my alarm clock reverberated off my bedroom walls. I rubbed my eyes and slowly pulled myself up to lean against my headboard. Today was my first day at school; so naturally I really didn't feel like getting out of bed.

As I was considering going back to sleep, I felt something vibrate against my leg, making me squeal loudly. I jumped out of bed so fast my feet got caught in my sheets, causing me to fall to the ground. A groan escaped my lips—that was not how I imagined starting my day.

I crawled over to the edge of the bed and hesitantly lifted my duvet to see what the hell was under there. I immediately starting laughing at the sight of my phone lying among my sheets; I must have abruptly fallen asleep last night after my million texts from Alice.

I sat back down on the middle of the mattress and reached over to grab my phone, checking the screen—another text from Alice. She was my own personal wake up call. I was truly blessed... and a lot sarcastic.

I quickly read the message, and rolled my eyes at her instructions of how I was to wear my hair. I swung my legs off the side of the bed, collected my bathroom necessities, and headed for the shower.

Once washed, I opened my closet to stare wearily at my uniform: white shirt, deep green tie, blue and white plaid skirt and a dark blue sweater. I pulled the top drawer of my chest open, deciding on the white knee-high socks and stepped into my black Mary Janes. I dressed hastily, double checking my school bag to make sure I had everything I needed and then placed the white hairband in my hair as requested by Alice. I took off out the room, bounding down the stairs towards the kitchen.

I skidded to a stop. Charlie was standing with his back to me at the stove, and from the smell of things, he was attempting to cook. _Crap, stay calm, don't panic_.

"Err, Dad, shouldn't you be at work already?" I walked further into the room, dumping my bag on the table and attempting to peek over his shoulder.

"Yeah, I should be, but as it's your first day at a new school, I thought I'd be here to send you off." He looked away awkwardly, before continuing with, "And I thought I'd make you some breakfast." He gruffly cleared his throat.

I knew Charlie found it uncomfortable to show his feelings, so the fact that he was doing this for me made me want to go and hug him. I figured he already looked mortified enough, though, so I didn't.

"Thanks, Dad. You didn't have to do this." He moved away enough for me to see what he had in the pan. "You _really _didn't have to do this."

Whatever it was, it didn't look edible.

"Grab two bowls out the cupboard for me, Bells." I froze for a second, willing my brain to help me get out of eating that without hurting his feelings.

"I don't usually eat breakfast, Dad. Just the occasional granola bar when I'm feeling hungry." I grabbed him a bowl. "But here, sit down and I'll dish some up for you." He stepped aside to allow me to do so. I took a mug out and poured him some coffee to go along with... well, whatever it was. It was white, dotted with black bits and the consistency looked like gluey sludge.

My nose wrinkled slightly when I handed him some cutlery. Was he seriously going to eat that? I gave him both a spoon and fork, not knowing which was the correct one to use. He took the spoon. _Hmm, interesting choice, I totally would have gone for the fork_.

He brought it up to his mouth, instantly grimacing at the taste. He let out a "Jesus Christ that's bad."_  
_

I had to stifle a giggle, somewhat proud that he gave that crap a go.

"It tastes burned and undercooked at the same time. Who knew you could do that to something as simple as oatmeal?" _Oatmeal?_ Well, that solved _that_ mystery.

I took the bowl away from him. "Here, Dad, let me make you some eggs." He went to object but I stopped him. "I don't mind, it's fine." He sighed in defeat and I swiftly seized a couple of eggs, beating them before adding them to a pan. I stuck two pieces of bread in the toaster for him and poured myself a glass of orange juice.

I placed his new breakfast on the table by his coffee. He picked up his fork, tucking into the pile of fluffy eggs. I glanced at the clock, chugging the last of my drink and dumping the empty glass in the dishwasher.

"I've got to get going, Dad. Leave the pans, I'll do them when I get home." I swung my bag onto my shoulder, hesitating by his chair. I looked down, placed a quick kiss on his cheek, to which he just cleared his throat. But I saw a small smile on his face so I knew he didn't mind too much.

"Right, have a good day, Bells."

I shook my head while walking out the door, thinking that his statement was an impossibility.

I hurriedly made my way to Alice's, keeping an observant eye out for anything silver that moved. As soon as I got to the side door, it flew open, bringing my face flush with someone's chest. I inhaled through my nose; I knew that smell all too well after yesterday.

Lifting my face, I kept my gaze trained on his left shoulder. I could feel him looking down at me, but I didn't want to look at him if I could help it.

"Do you think you could move some time today? I really just want to get the fuck out of this doorway and into my car." I felt my face heat, not through embarrassment, but anger.

I took a step back to meet his eyes and said, "But you forgot the magic word, Edward." He looked slightly confused at my statement. I raised my right eyebrow at him expectantly.

"Say it, and I'll move." Recognition dawned on his face, his eyes narrowing at me. He sighed and I thought I saw his lips move, but I didn't hear anything.

"Out loud, so I can hear it." I knew I was getting to him. He closed his eyes and spoke loud enough for me to hear.

"_Please._" His teeth were clenched, so it came out kind of like a hiss. I smiled a genuine smile and stepped to the side to let him pass. His eyes snapped open and his gaze was so intense it made my breath catch in my chest. I don't know how long we stood like that, glaring back and forth at each other, but the ringing of my phone soon snapped us out of it. Edward disappeared from my line of sight instantly.

I answered it, bringing it to my ear without checking to see who it was. "Bella Swan, you better get your butt over here right now or so help me God!" I paused, not yet replying as I could hear sets of footsteps on the gravel out front. I ventured a guess that it was most likely the others and popped my head around the side of the house to see.

"Are you even listening to me? Because if you aren't..." Alice cut herself off, distracted by the grin Jasper was shooting me from his slouch against the Volvo, which now had Edward sitting inside. She twisted herself around, giving me a frown. I hesitantly stepped out and walked towards her. Her eyes lit up like a Christmas tree, appraising me.

"Oh, Bella you look great! Doesn't she, Jazz? Look at how cute those shoes are!" She kept rambling on, jumping up and down, clapping her hands excitedly.

I turned my stunned gaze on Jasper. "Shit, you haven't given her caffeine again have you? I know how you can't say no to her, especially when she gives you _the face_." He just laughed, shaking his head.

"No, this one's all on you, B." That may be even worse. People seriously shouldn't get so excited about clothes, especially a damn school uniform. I thought I better intervene before the girl gave herself an injury.

I stepped forward, placing my hands tentatively on her small shoulders. "Alice, breathe. Deep breaths." She seemed to listen to me, exhaling a long sigh.

"Right, I'm good now." She took another gulp of air before carrying on. "I always love the first day back. You get to see how people have changed over the summer. Plus, _I_ have a shiny new toy to show off." I blanched at that one. I, for one, did not want to be played with by any of the students of that school. They could keep their grimy hands to themselves.

A piercing whistle coming from the front door echoed around us. "Who knew my little SVB had such great legs?" Emmett strode over towards me, his dimples in full effect.

"What the hell is an _SVB?_" Edward demanded.

When the hell had he gotten out of his car?

Everyone apart from Edward started smiling. Emmett went to open his mouth, but I quickly slapped my hand across it, preventing him from doing so.

"Not a damn word, Emmett Cullen." My voice was low and surprisingly calm. His wet tongue reached out and licked my palm.

"That's fucking gross, Em. Now I've got your spit on me." My hand swiped over his dark blue blazer.

He glanced down, his voice whiny. "Dude, now it looks like I've got a snail trail on me." I snorted out a laugh.

"It's _your_ spit; I'm just giving it back to its rightful owner."

Emmett wagged his eyebrows at Rose. I rolled my eyes, knowing what was coming.

"Come here, Rosie. I know you don't mind my tongue, or mouth, or..." He was cut off by Rosalie's lips. I turned around from the face-sucking display to a frustrated Edward.

He moved closer, his mouth resting at my ear. "What's the big secret? It surely can't be _that_ bad? Let me take a guess..." His warm breath was coating the side of my neck, his scent all around me. "Spoiled, vacuous, bitch. Am I right?" My Emmett-spit fist clenched at my side.

I could see Alice staring at us curiously, so I knew I had to calm myself down. It was like he was purposely trying to get me to snap; to make a fool of myself. They didn't know the games we were playing. If I snapped at seemingly nothing, I would look like the bad guy.

I wouldn't let him win. I laughed, pushing him gently on the shoulder as if he had said something amusing.

"That was _too_ funny, Edward." My heated glare towards him told him I in no way found anything funny.

"I'm glad you think so. I know I particularly enjoyed it." His eyes showed both anger and amusement.

Rose and Emmett had stopped with the tonsil hockey, leaving Rose to shout at Alice to "Hurry the fuck up already!" as if she, herself hadn't just been doing the exact same thing as they were now.

Jazz gave Alice one last chaste kiss before she skipped towards us, pressing the lock on her keys to open the doors. Rose helped me push the seat forward, allowing me to climb into the back. I heard the Volvo take off down the driveway just as Alice started her engine—unsurprisingly we caught up quickly. We followed behind them silently, until the Volvo turned off on a side street. I momentarily wondered if Alice missed a turn, before I realized that we were, in fact, on the right road.

Curiosity got the better of me. "Where are they off to?"

"Edward had to go pick up one of his friends; Ben Cheney. He's nice. You'll like him. He's really quiet, though. I don't think he's spoken more than a handful of sentences to me. Somehow you can have a conversation with him without actually having to talk, though. I know that doesn't make any sense, but it's true." I just nodded. I didn't know him so I trusted what Alice was saying.

The car came to a sudden stop, and I noticed we were parked in the school lot. The dominant lettering of 'Forks High School' gracing the front of the building. My palms started to sweat a little, as I could see curious stares from the passing students. My own personal hell was upon me.

"You coming, Bella?" Rose had the seat pushed forward, ready for me to get out. I put my hand up motioning for her to give me a few minutes to try and calm myself. I took one last deep breath and climbed out, quickly closing the door behind me. I nervously attempted to pull my skirt down more, suddenly feeling over-exposed. Alice slapped my hands away, giving me a look that said _don't even think about it_. I nodded and placed a nervous smile on my face.

I expected us to go straight in, but apparently we had to wait for the boys to get here. I just stood patiently, chatting quietly with them both. The Volvo eventually sped into the spot next to us and I craned my neck to catch a glimpse of this Ben person. He stepped out tiredly, making eye contact with me almost immediately. He was medium height, his blond hair covered in a black wool beanie, his eyes brown. He gave me a polite smile, his eyes shining slightly in amusement at something. I gave him a small wave, and smiled back at him. My gaze flicked to Edward, who was narrowing his eyes at Ben, shaking his head. I squared my shoulders and walked right over to him.

"Hi, I'm Bella. You're Ben, right?" I held my hand out to him and he took it gently, eyeing me curiously.

"Yeah, that's me." Alice wasn't kidding about the whole not-talking business, because after that he said nothing. I gave him a nod and we left it like that.

Emmett patted Edward on the back, laughing boisterously before coming and slinging his arm over my shoulders, moving me away from the car. That's when I heard it, the most offensive voice on the planet.

"Eddie, we've missed you!" I turned my head, wondering who the voice belonged to and who the _we_ were. That's when I saw them: short skirts, high heels, fake tans and swaying hips. A blonde walked straight up to Edward and ran a perfectly manicured finger down his chest, licking her lips seductively at him. He gave a crooked grin back to her, motioning his head towards a building to the side of the school, eliciting a huge smile on her bright-pink glossed mouth.

"God, could they be any more fucking obvious?" Alice said, a disgusted expression on her face. Jazz slipped her arm through his, patting it comfortingly.

"Who are they, Emmett?" I was curious as to who those girls were, much to my own annoyance.

Rose spoke for him. "The blonde that's got her claws on Edward is Lauren Mallory; she's a whore and a fucking bitch. The brunette next to her is Jessica Stanley; she's just as much of a whore, but less bitchy than Lauren—and that's only because she's thick as shit. The red head is Victoria, the small one beside her is Jane, and Heidi is the one with all the legs. There were some more names, and by the time she finished, I was giving a damn good impression of a fish: opening and closing my mouth, not really knowing what to say. There were so many.

"Or, simply known as _Edward's harem_. If they ever say anything to you, ignore them, okay?" Em squeezed my shoulders reassuringly.

"Fuck that, Bella. If they so much as look at you in the wrong way, you come and tell me, got it?" Rose had her eyebrows raised, obviously waiting for my agreement.

"Err, sure thing, Rose. Got it." She seemed appeased. I was about to say that I needed to go get my schedule from the office, but Alice's expression stopped me. Her gaze was locked towards two males who were approaching Edward, Ben, and the girls. I noticed one had his eyes fixed on me, his long blond hair pulled back into a ponytail. He didn't look like he was originally from Forks as his skin was too tanned. His penetrating glance made me feel a little uneasy. The other was tall, had long dreadlocks hanging around his back and shoulders, his eyes dark. Even though he was in the same uniform as all the other males, his somehow seemed to look more expensive. You could tell he took time on his appearance.

Jazz spoke. "I don't know why he hangs around with those two; he doesn't even like them." I glanced back to Edward to gauge his reaction. Jazz seemed to be right—he practically ignored them. The one who had been staring at me earlier was now speaking to Edward excitedly, head tilted in my direction.

"Who are _they?_" God I hated being new—having to bother everyone with my tiresome questions.

"The blond is James. Your father could tell you all about him. He rivals Edward with the girls." I could see why; he oozed confidence and sex. I dropped my head and focused my sight on the ground, blushing at my thoughts. I hoped he hadn't caught me staring. I flicked my eyes in his direction, only to see an amused smile on his face. Shit, he'd totally caught me. My blush deepened.

Rose cleared her throat before continuing. "The other with him is Laurent. He was born in France but was sent to live with his aunt here in America when he was twelve. His parents own a clothing company in Paris." Well, that explained his demeanor then.

My feet started moving involuntarily. I needed to go and get my schedule before the bell sounded. The last thing I needed was to be late for my first class. When we got to the office, Em and Jazz gave me a kiss on the cheek. They promised to see me at lunch—if not before—if we happened to be in one of the same classes together. Rose and Alice walked me in where I was greeted by a small, elderly woman with faded red curls.

"Hi, I'm Isabella Swan. I'm..." I didn't get a chance to finish as she eagerly cut in, her beady eyes lighting up with recognition.

"Yes, of course, dear, silly me. I should have realized. We've been expecting you for a while now." Of course they had. In a town this small, I should have known. She handed me a folder. "Well, here's your schedule. There's a map inside there, too. And make sure to get your teachers to sign this form at every lesson." She placed a separate sheet of paper on top of the counter for me to take.

Alice spoke for me. "Thanks, Mrs. Cope." I gave my thanks also before turning to leave.

"You're welcome, dear. I'm sure you're going to love it here in Forks." The practiced smile that was plastered on my face obviously pacified her as she got back to her work.

Rose snatched my schedule out of my folder before the door had even closed behind us. "Ooh, you have gym with all of us, so that's good. You have history with Jasper and English with Alice." I'm sure Alice's squeal could have been heard two states away. I laughed at her excitement.

Rose handed me back my schedule, telling me they'd show me where my first class was. It turned out it was history, so at least I had Jazz there to ward off the vultures.

I spotted him near the back of the class. I thanked God there seemed to be a spare seat next to him. He gave me his usual goofy grin, pointing to the chair next to him. I waved my form at him, motioning I had to leave it with the teacher to sign. Once seated, we made a little small talk, but stopped as the lesson got under way. I noticed Jasper really paid attention to everything the teacher said; he was a major history buff. At the sound of the bell, he slipped his arm through mine, insisting on delivering me safely to my next class.

Math went slowly; I focused on my work in front of me to dodge the stares of every student in the class. The boy next to me introduced himself as Eric Yorkie. He was gangly, pimply and had his greasy black hair in a side sweep. Also, he didn't take his eyes off my chest for the entire lesson. I sure knew how to attract them.

I walked into English—Alice practically bounced in her seat with delight. "I'm so glad we have this class together, Bella. Now, you _have _to tell me how your day has been so far." I recounted everything in detail as to her request.

After English, we made our way to gym. We strolled into the changing rooms and I cringed. I really hoped I could just hide by the bleachers for the entire class.

Rose was already in her gym clothes, which consisted of a white polo shirt, teeny blue shorts, and white knee socks. Like seriously, what was it with the socks here? God, Rose even made the gym uniform look good. Alice and I got ready, while she retold Rose everything; while I tried not to vomit. Once changed, we dragged ourselves to the main gym.

We immediately spotted Emmett's muscled form. Jasper sat next to him. I groaned—of course Edward would be in this class. The one class where I'd constantly make an idiot of myself and potentially cause unintentional harm to others. James sat to his left, talking to some girl on the seat below him.

The coach blew his whistle, motioning for the girls to start stretching in the middle of the room, while he went to collect the equipment for today's lesson.

I observed that the majority of Edward's harem were also in the class. Naturally, they were all bending over in his direction.

Alice and I were in hysterics at Rose's verbal outbursts towards them. We both dropped to the ground on our asses in a fit of giggles. I had tears streaming down my cheeks, trying to gasp for air.

"Bella, you might want to get up. A few fans of yours are making their way over." Rose put her hand out for me to take, but before I could grasp it, a different hand pulled me to my feet.

Tyler Crowley hovered over me, his dark eyes sweeping across my body. Mike Newton was standing next to him, an eager smile on his face. Rose and Alice were standing behind them, both trying hard not to laugh at the displeased expression on my face. They, of course, failed miserably. They turned to the boys sitting on the bleachers and pointed out my predicament. Sure enough, Emmett's guffaw soon filled the building.

"Hey, Bella, it's great to see you again." I could feel the blush spread across my face.

"Thanks, Mike." In other words, take my lack of constant speech as cue for you both to leave.

Tyler interrupted the awkward silence. "The school colours really work well with your skin tone. Makes everything look more creamy." His eyes lingered on the bare skin of my thighs. OK, time to go now, _perv._ I was about to snap at them when the coach finally came back in, splitting us into teams. And because of who I was standing with at the time, I was paired with Lauren, Mike, Tyler and Jane, while my friends all got paired together. Fuck my luck.

My team was actually pretty good at volleyball—especially with me standing towards the back of the court keeping out of their way. We were made to play the winner of the other previous matches, which just happened to be Emmett's team. Edward placed himself opposite me on the other side of the net, smiling wickedly. I knew what he was going to do before he even got the ball. He made sure to hit it straight at me every time, causing me to either attempt to hit it back or dodge out the way. Let's just say I'd be sporting a few bruises tomorrow.

Their team won, mostly due to my weakness—which Edward played on at any available moment. Even with the valiant efforts of Mike to help me, it didn't improve our chances.

Lauren sent her ever-present sneer at me. "God, if we didn't have this _klutz _on our team, we like, totally would have won." Yeah, and you, like, _totally_ needed to shut the fuck up—even if it was true.

"Leave her alone, Lauren." I groaned again. Mike defending me was just going to make matters worse.

"Oh, has someone got a little crush? How sweet." I just shook my head at Mike, placing my hand on his arm.

"Just leave it, Mike." I thought I better be polite to him. "And thank you." His smile made me feel less guilty about wanting to scream at him earlier.

"No problem, Bella." My feet moved as fast as they could toward my friends. Emmett immediately scooped me up into my favourite bear hug. When he wasn't squishing you, it really was comforting.

"That bad huh, Bells?" I meekly nodded my head, not yet ready to talk.

"Well, I don't think it could have gotten any worse," Edward said. That asshole was really pushing me today. I patted Emmett's arm for him to drop me and swung around to face Edward. My hands grabbed a fistful of his shirt and dragged him to the doors. I shouted over my shoulder that we'd be right back and pushed him out until we were standing outside in the deserted back area of the building.

"Just what the fuck is your _problem?_" My question threw him. An incredulous look spread over his features.

"_My_ problem? You're the one who's fucking bipolar! Waltzing her way into my—and my friends'—lives. They obviously have no idea what you're like and just how much of a bitch you really are." He was fuming, shouting right in my face.

"Says the boy who was absent all summer. You don't know the first thing about me, so don't you _dare_ fucking judge me." My hands were still fisted in his shirt, unconsciously pulling him closer.

He backed me up against the wall, his hands on the brick at either side of my head. He said nothing, his hate-filled eyes boring into mine. This position made me feel weak; I didn't like it. I pushed him away from me, speedily moving to get back inside.

"What... is that _it?_ You have nothing else to say? Come on, Swan, I know you've got to want to say _something_ more to me." I ran my hands angrily through my hair, looking back over my shoulder at him.

"Fuck you, Cullen. Just fuck you. How about that?" I realized I was screaming. People could most likely hear me, but at that exact moment I really didn't care.

I stormed back through the doors of the gym, pausing to take a deep breath. I plastered a fake smile on my face before entering the changing room. Alice and Rose eyed me warily. I told them both that I was fine and that I had just needed to discuss something with Edward in private.

They let it drop, but I could tell Alice was dying to question me further. I hastily got redressed, telling the girls I was going to go dump my things in my locker and would meet them in the cafeteria.

The main building was packed with students, all rushing off for lunch. I pulled out my map, double checking to see where my locker was located. It was on the corridor next to the girls' bathroom. Once there, I dumped everything in. I removed my sweater, as I was still feeling hot and bothered from my argument with Edward. I felt a warm hand place itself on the small of my back. I tensed up at the contact, turning around to see Edward's friend, James smiling at me.

"Hi, I didn't get a chance to introduce myself earlier. I'm James." His sharp eyes didn't quite match the smile on his face.

I stuck my right hand out. "Bella." I shut my locker door with my free hand, the sound echoing down the now empty halls.

"Well, Bella, can I assist you somewhere?" His fingers slid down my palm as he dropped my hold.

"Um, I'm meeting friends in the cafeteria, so I suppose you can walk with me." My fingers were fiddling with the end of my tie. "If you're going that way, that is."

"It just so happens that I am rather hungry." As he was saying this, his gaze drifted down from my face, to my legs and back again.

We walked silently for a while before he spoke again. "So, how are you liking Forks so far? I understand from Edward that you've just recently become his new neighbour." I was surprised that Edward had mentioned me to him. It made me curious as to what exactly he had been saying about me.

"I'm not really new to Forks. I used to come on visits to see my dad every summer until I was fourteen. In towns this small, nothing really changes. But, in regards to this school, it's never nice to be the new girl. I'm just waiting for the novelty to wear off, then I'm sure it will be just like all the others." My shoulders lifted, not having anything else to say on the matter.

One thing was still bugging me. "What exactly did Edward tell you about me? I mean, I hardly know him so I'm a little curious as to why he would mention me at all." That penetrating gaze was back, his blue eyes cold like ice.

"If I remember rightly, he said something about an argument; remarks about some type of rodent were also mentioned." I huffed at this. Asshole.

"I immediately knew something was off about him, his usual cool attitude was broken." This brought a smile to my face. Good, I thought, I'm glad it seemed to have affected him just as much as it did me.

We pushed through the doors to the cafeteria; his hand returned to the small of my back. The volume decreased, students watched us from all areas of the room. I started to shift uncomfortably from all the attention.

James said, "Don't worry, they're not looking at you, Bella. I always get this reaction when I walk into a room." He winked at me causing me to laugh, the tension leaving my body at the same time.

"Come on, I'll walk you to your friends." I could see Alice whispering something to Jazz, but what caught my attention most was the look from Edward. He was zeroed in on the hand on my back. I turned my head toward James's face and saw he was smirking at Edward. Edward snapped out of it and just shook his head. The girl I thought was Jessica stepped up behind him with the red-head Victoria in tow. Both stopped at my desired table.

"Well, I'm sure I'll see you around, Bella." He wasn't looking at me when he said this—he was still looking at Edward.

"Yeah, nice to meet you, James." He left Edward's stare and gave me another wink before walking away.

Alice, of course, immediately pounced on me. "Bella, is that why you left before? Had you already planned to meet him somewhere?" Seriously, did she just ask me that?

"God no, Alice. I was at my locker and he just came and introduced himself. I would tell you if something like that ever happened." This appeased her.

Alice said, "Good. As your best friend, those are my rights." Rose was sitting—filing her nails—a look of disgust directed at the two girls talking to Edward.

I took this chance to really look at them. Jessica had something akin to adoration in her eyes while talking to Edward. Victoria's could only be described as pure lust. Jessica seemed to sense my gaze as her hazel eyes studied me. She almost looked jealous about something.

She spoke to me, calling me out on my staring. "Is there something I can help with?" Rose's nail file abruptly stopped its work. I remembered what she had said to me earlier and didn't want her to have to fight my battles for me.

"I seriously doubt it... Oh wait, actually, now that you mention it, could you tell me the square root of pi?" Jasper chuckled into his coke, coughing slightly to try and cover it.

"Excuse me?" she asked. I smiled at her and repeated my question.

"You see, I was in math earlier today and couldn't for the life of me remember... so that's what you can help me with." She looked so confused, I almost felt sorry for her.

Edward's groan caused her to lose her concentration on my words and focused entirely on him.

"Are you okay, baby, are you hurt?" She spoke with utter sincerity. Wow, she really cared for the douche.

Edward pinched the bridge of his nose. "Jessica, I am nobody's baby, so stop calling me that shit. I don't have pet names or terms of endearment thrust upon me by anyone. So don't waste your breath as it will only get me really fucking annoyed." This was my perfect chance to fuck with him.

"But, s_weetheart_, that's not what you said last night when we were together. If I remember rightly, you couldn't get enough of me calling you l_ove_ between stolen kisses and heavy petting." It was Emmett's turn to laugh now. Edward's face was priceless.

Jessica sniffled dejectedly while Victoria decided to intervene. "Yeah, right. Edward doesn't ever kiss, so I know you're lying." _Really, never kisses_? I roamed his murderous face; _I wonder why_?

In a moment of confidence, I rose from my seat and placed myself in Edward's lap. Seriously, I couldn't tell you where I got it from, and by the look on everyone else's faces, they didn't either. Edward was so shocked, I had to bite my bottom lip to keep from laughing. My hands roamed his chest, all the while gazing into his eyes.

"Shall we show them, huh?" Suddenly, his hands were at my waist, squeezing tightly. He looked like he was going to push me away, but something over my shoulder caught his gaze for a second before that look changed, and was replaced with another I didn't recognize.

My brows furrowed slightly. I was losing my nerve and from the twinkle in his eye he knew it. One of his hands made its way all the way up my back, curving around my neck, before finally resting on my cheek. His focus was now on my mouth, and to my horror he was inching closer. Damn that asshole.

I really started to panic. I didn't want to kiss him. Luckily for me, Mike decided it was a good idea to come over for an impromptu chat. This was the one time I was actually happy to see my stalker.

"Bella, I was wondering if I could walk you to your next class?" He wasn't blind to the fact that I was sitting on Edward's lap, and sent a scowl his way.

I looked back at Edward who had halted all movements. I patted his cheek before saying, "You're right, girls, Edward Cullen would never get my kisses." He removed his hand from me and looked about ready to lose it with someone. He saw his nearest target.

"Newton, do you usually come over here? No, so fuck off!" Mike wasn't undeterred and I momentarily thought he may have a death wish. I couldn't let him get involved in our games, so I quickly hopped off Edward's lap and back into my own seat. I turned to Mike and told him he could walk me tomorrow but not right now. He looked so happy at my promise and again, I wished I had just kept my mouth shut. Edward was right earlier when he called me a bitch. When had I become one? Then I remembered. Oh yeah, right about the time he tried to run me over with his stupid car and not apologize for it. He brought out sides of me I didn't like. I had to make sure to keep my senses about me and not get carried away trying to get one over on him.

I looked towards my friends and all four were staring at me in utter disbelief. Edward got up to leave, telling Em and Jazz he'd see them at the car in an hour. Once he'd left, and his two followers had dispersed, Alice couldn't contain her questions any longer.

"What the hell is with you two? Has something happened I don't know about?" I wondered whether or not to say anything, but then he'd told James and maybe others, so I was sure she'd find out eventually. I took a deep breath before starting.

"It's nothing, really. Yes, we met on unfriendly terms. We'd had a previous argument over something. I'm sorry about that little display there, I was just settling a score." Rose's eyes were squinted at me as if trying to work out what else had gone on.

"What do you mean, _a previous argument_? When did this happen?" Alice questioned. I didn't know exactly how much Edward had told his friends but I didn't feel like going over every detail.

"It happened yesterday and that's all I'm saying. I don't want to get into it. Edward and I have some things to sort out and I'd really like it if you just left me to deal with it myself." That was putting it mildly. Hate was such a strong word but most of the time, I wanted to direct it straight at her brother.

Alice said, "Bella, that's not fair. If he's done anything to you, then I want to know about it. He can't keep getting away with things."

Jasper cut in. "But that's the thing, Allie, I don't think he is. Based on what just happened, I think Bella is handling things. Let's just leave them to their own devices. I'm sure things will work out in time." She seemed to consider this for a moment before pointing her finger at me.

"Fine, I'll stay out of it this once, but I can't keep quiet about the other thing," she said. I looked at her downright confused. _What other thing?_

"Alice, you've completely lost me. What other thing?" I asked. Her eyes rolled dramatically as if it was completely obvious.

"The _James_ thing, silly. He is entirely bad news. He uses girls for one thing only and I don't want to see you get hurt." Her expression was so heartbreaking it made me feel wretched.

Em said, "I have to agree with Allie. I don't like him sniffing around. Just be careful, okay, Bells?" I felt like I wanted to cry. We were so about to have one of those moments you saw on TV, where we all expressed our feelings and hugged.

Rose said, "Cut that shit out. You'll both ruin your makeup." Alice quickly wiped a fallen tear and looked back at me and winked, my own watery laughter spilling out.

"Thanks, guys, but you have nothing to worry about. I'm a big girl now. I would show you my big girl panties but this isn't the time or the place." Everyone started to laugh at that, breaking the serious tone of the previous discussion. Jasper ruffled my hair just as the bell sounded. All of us groaned at the realization the school day was not yet over.

The halls were once again heaving with students scurrying to their respective classes. Em walked with me to my locker as it was on the way to his class. I grabbed my things, giving Em a quick hug and bolted down the hall and up the second floor to the science rooms.

Biology. Room Number 5. Mr. Banner. I kept repeating these words while searching for my class. I eventually found the correct room. The number '5' on the door had faded over the years and now looked more like a backward letter 'C.' I peeked through the circular window in the door to see that the lesson had already started. My head rested against the wood; I had to resist the urge to bang my head against it. I took a deep breath, and pushed the handle. Every head in the room snapped in my direction, their eyes following me as I made my way to the teacher's desk. My face was on fire by the time I handed my slip to Mr. Banner. He gave me my textbooks and explained a little about the curriculum that he had discussed at the start of class. He motioned with his hand to the empty seat at the back, so I thanked him and made my way there, passing Mike on the way.

I froze as the unmistakable tuft of bronze hair came into view. I immediately scanned the room for another empty seat, but as was my luck, there wasn't one. He didn't look at me. His attention was focused to the front, and by the hard set of his mouth, I could tell he was just as unhappy about this as I was.

I slid out my stool, dragging it as far away from him as the desk permitted, before sitting down. I dropped my book onto the desk and opened it to the correct page. The lesson dragged on like all the others, except this time I was more on edge due to the person sitting next to me. We were told to copy what was written on the board into out notebooks, as it was for an upcoming project. My left arm was resting on the desk, holding my notebook in place, which meant that his right arm kept nudging mine when he was writing. I didn't know if it was intentional or not, but it was really difficult to copy my work down with all the jostling.

He pushed his right elbow forcefully into my left arm which resulted in my pen flying across half of my already-written work. My fist clenched around my pen so hard I'm surprised it didn't break.

I made sure to lower my voice to a harsh whisper before saying, "You did that on purpose."

He tilted his head towards me and we made eye contact for the first time since lunch. He said, "You can believe what you want, I'm not going to explain myself to you."

"Look, I'm not happy about this situation either. You're the last person I'd choose to be stuck next to, but unfortunately here we are. This does not give you the right to purposely sabotage my work. I won't allow your dislike of me to mess with my grades, got it?"

He replied, "You've got to be kidding me? What about that little stunt you pulled at lunch? Are you telling me your dislike for me didn't drive you to do that?" I just stared at him, I couldn't deny that but it didn't mean I was going to admit to it either.

"You're such a fucking hypocrite," he seethed.

"You told me outside the gym that I must have had something else to say. Quite obviously, I did. You brought it all on yourself," I breathed harshly.

Both of us were stubborn and not wanting to admit to our faults. We just continued to look at one another. I allowed my eyes to roam his face properly for the first time. The light pink of his cheeks and darker shade to his mouth were all set off by flawless pale skin. His lashes were exceptionally long, darker at the base with a lighter tint at the ends. Each time he blinked, they rested for a split second along his high cheekbones. He had a very faint promise of stubble along his angular jaw showing he must have recently shaved. His eyes were the main draw to his face for me. I had never seen a green like it before, and I had to admit he really was quite beautiful. Yes, I couldn't stand him, but I could completely understand why girls would be attracted to him by his looks alone.

"Mr. Cullen and Miss Swan, if you've both finished staring at each other, I suggest that you finish copying the remainder of today's lesson into your books." I hadn't noticed Mr. Banner standing behind us, and from Edward's response, neither had he.

I mumbled a, "Yes, sir," and did as he said.

As soon as the class ended, Edward was up and out of his seat so fast it made me jump. He retreated out of the doorway before anyone else had even stood. I packed my books into my bag, seeing Mike Newton hanging around in the doorway, scuffing his shoes together.

I went to pass him, but he stopped me. "Here, let me walk to your car." I suddenly pictured him with a wagging tail.

"I didn't drive today, I got a ride with Alice." I started to walk, Mike catching up to walk beside me.

"So, I couldn't help noticing Cullen flying out of the class. I've never seen him do that before," he said. I could tell he was digging for information, but he wouldn't get it from me.

"Oh, really?" We were nearing Alice's Porsche now, and I could see everyone waiting for me.

I turned to Mike. "So thanks for walking me. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Yeah, see you tomorrow, Bella," he shouted after me.

Jazz was watching Mike. "He's persistent, I'll give him that." My eyebrows rose. _Yeah no shit._ He started laughing at me, so I jabbed him gently in the side with my elbow, causing him to give a girlie yelp of surprise.

My giggles caught the attention of Rose. "Good, you're here. So, we ready to go then, girls?" Alice and I nodded our heads in assent. I bent slightly to climb into the car.

"Nice panties, Bells!" Emmett's words caused my hands to fly to the back of my skirt, getting in quickly to stop giving them a peep show.

I stuck my head out of the door. "I told you I would show you my big girl panties, Em!" Edward was standing beside him, running his hands through his hair. I blushed, wondering how long he had been there and if he had seen my involuntary flashing.

Rose got in, while Alice started the engine, peeling away from school towards home.

Alice stopped at the front of my house, car idling while she turned to give me a hug. "I'll give you a ring later, we'll probably just watch a movie or something."

"That's fine, I'll see you girls later." Rose went to let me out, but I stopped her, noticing the car parked in front of my garage.

Alice's face scrunched up. "Whose car is that?" she asked. I shook my head, not having a clue myself.

A boy stepped out, his shoulder-length black hair whipping around his face. His russet coloured skin and dark eyes immediately made me guess he must have come from the reservation. He was tall and muscular and I found my face heating up while perusing him... in a good way.

Rose's next words shocked the hell out of me. "Well, well, if it isn't Jacob Black."


	4. Chapter 4

**Thanks to all of you who have taken the time to review, etc.**

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight. **

* * *

Bella

I froze at the sight before me. Surely this couldn't be Jacob Black? He was waiting expectantly by his car, cocking an eyebrow at Alice as she rolled down her window to get a better look.

"What's up, shorty?" His deep voice filtered through the car, the masculinity of it stunning me considering he was only seventeen.

"Not much, Black. Just curious as to why you're hanging around an empty house. You haven't turned to a life of crime have you?" Alice's tone sounded suspicious, but from the glint in her eye I could tell she was being playful.

He let out a good-natured chuckle. "Not yet... and anyway how do _you_ know it's empty? You just got here."

"Well, I happen to know that the Chief doesn't finish work until later, as I'm sure you do, too." She gave him a pointed look before saying, "Also, the fact that I have Bella sitting in the back of this car with me kind of gives it away."

His head shot up when Alice mentioned my name. "She's in there with you now?" he asked smiling.

"Yep," Alice replied.

"What, is she hiding? Why hasn't she gotten out yet?" His brow furrowed, confused by my lack of appearance.

I asked Rose to let me out, giving them both a brief hug before stepping onto the lawn in front of my house. Alice told me, once again, that she'd call me later, her smile showing she was excited by the recent turn of events and would want all the gossip.

"Well, look at you. Bella Swan all grown up." I jumped, clutching my hand to my chest. Jake was standing right behind me, well, _towering_ over me would be more precise.

"Shit, Jake, what the hell is Billy feeding you down at the rez? You're a giant!" His resounding smile was incredibly infectious; all big and happy. My own smile soon mirrored his.

Rose poked her head out of her window as they were turning into Alice's driveway, signaling me with her finger to run over and speak with for her a second.

I made sure to flatten my skirt to the back of my legs while bending towards the open window. After what happened earlier, the last thing I wanted to do was give Jake a _so-good-to-see-you-again_ panty flash. Talk about embarrassing.

"I don't like him..." Rose said, sending a scowl his way, "or trust him for that matter." And from the look on Jacob's face, he wasn't too fond of Rose either. "If he tries any funny-business, be sure to get all up in his face with the pepper spray. I know the Chief keeps a shit load of them around the house for emergencies." I just rolled my eyes, hiding my amusement.

"Rose, Jake is harmless. We used to hang out all the time together when we were kids. I want to talk to him." I gave her a smile, letting her know I was honestly going to be okay.

Rose eyed me for a second longer. "Fine, but if I hear he's done anything dodgy, I'll kick his ass." I could do nothing but shake my head and laugh.

"Deal. I'll see you girls later." With one last scowl shot behind me, they drove off. I turned back to Jake who was waiting by the side of his car, arms crossed over his broad chest.

"So..." I trailed off, suddenly nervous. My hands started to play with the end of my tie, not knowing what to do.

His voice broke through my tie twiddling. "Well, don't I get a hug?" He was smiling at me again, and just like that, I felt comfortable once more.

I strolled up to the front porch. "You better come inside first. Talk will start if the neighbours see the daughter of the flighty ex-wife hugging an unknown boy outside the house. _Especially_ with the respectable Chief Swan not home. I'll be labeled a bad egg. Mothers will lock up their sons from the local hussy." He just stared at me blankly for a moment before bursting out laughing, head thrown back and everything.

"God, you haven't changed a bit." Now _I_ was the one to scowl. I walked into the house, glancing sideways at the mirror at the bottom of the stairs. My boobs had definitely grown bigger and I didn't look so unstable on my legs any more, but I still had the same boring brown eyes and long brown hair.

I could see Jake silently watching me from the living room doorway, a contemplative expression on his face. "So, how about that hug then?" he asked. He moved forward with his arms outstretched in front of him. I wordlessly stepped into his embrace, his muscular form warm and gentle around me. Jake smelled like the ocean mixed with a very faint hint of engine oil. He bent his head, whispering into my hair. "When I said you hadn't changed, I meant your humour, your spark—not the way you look. I wasn't joking earlier when I said you were all grown up."

I felt happy at his words. I'd always felt comfortable around Jake, even when we were younger. I remember the very first day I met him. I was eight and had been brought down to Billy's, as Charlie had an emergency call from work even though he was technically on vacation.

Billy introduced me to his daughters Rachel and Rebecca. They were older than me and not unfriendly, but I wasn't into their girlie activities. That's when I spotted Jake. He was all long hair and big smiles and covered head-to-toe in black smudges. I later found out it was engine oil. He'd been helping his dad with his car and I still, to this day, don't know how it was even possible for him to get so covered in it.

I pulled away from him, looking up at his face. "Still messing with cars I see. I can smell the oil on your clothing." His eyes lit up. At least one day every summer when I came to stay with Charlie, he would try and fill me in on car mechanics. It never stuck.

"I wouldn't call it messing, but yes, I still work on cars. I rebuilt the one out front. It took me a while but it was worth it." He spoke with such childlike enthusiasm; his passion shone through.

I made my way into the kitchen with him following behind me. I pulled out a chair at the table, motioning for him to do the same. "Can I get you a drink or something?"

"Yeah, I am pretty thirsty, thanks." I grabbed two cokes from the fridge, setting one down in front of him. I opened my own, taking a big gulp before asking my next question.

"So, what brings you here? I mean, I've been back for at least eight weeks now, and I haven't seen you in all that time." He furrowed his brows, looking slightly annoyed.

"Well, you haven't been down to visit me either." I smiled at him sheepishly. Shit, he had me there.

"Yeah, sorry, that wasn't fair of me. In my defence, though, I've hardly had a minute to myself since meeting Alice and everyone. She has a never-ending supply of energy." That was putting it mildly.

"Yeah, I can kind of see that about Shorty. I think I may have even seen her do this bouncy thing once. It was weird."

"Yeah, she does that when she's especially excited about something." I laughed.

He turned back to face me, both hands around his can of coke. "So, what have you been up to these last three years? Charlie never really told me much, just that you were well and what you'd do on your vacations. I especially liked the story about the lake, a duck, and a very clumsy Bella."

He was laughing so hard, tears ran down his cheeks, coming together at the base of his chin only to roll down the front of his throat. If I wasn't so mesmerized by the movement, I would have been glaring at him.

I remembered that vacation. Charlie and I had decided to go to the lake, take a couple of sandwiches with us, and catch up. I stupidly wanted to give my crusts to the ducks, so I started feeding them. This one evil little fucker decided to nip me or whatever the fuck a duck does, and it scared me so much, I fell into the stinking water.

Needless to say, it wasn't the greatest vacation I'd ever had.

His chuckles dragged on for another minute before I interrupted them. "Well, I'm sure you've heard that my mom got remarried. I wanted to give her and Phil their space, so I here I am." I gestured with my hands, swaying them in front of me.

"Yeah, I heard about that. So what's he like, Renee's new guy?" he asked.

I shrugged my shoulders, giving him a small smile. "Phil's really nice. He treats Mom well and he makes her happy, which is the most important thing." His mouth was full of his coke, so he nodded instead of giving me a verbal answer.

"What about school; how's that working out so far?" he asked, removing his leather jacket.

"It was my first day today actually. And ugh, it was horrible." I put my head in my hands and started to laugh.

"That sucks. Can't say I'm surprised, though—I've met most of your classmates. I feel your pain." He shuddered playfully.

I watched him, thinking this should be really awkward, but it wasn't. We hadn't spoken in three years and yet we were chatting as if it was only three weeks.

"So what about you, Jake? What's new with you?" I asked, genuinely interested.

He stretched, putting his arms behind his head, causing his black t-shirt to rise, showing off a slither of abs. I shifted in my seat and stripped off my sweater, suddenly feeling rather warm.

"You okay, Bella? You look kind of flushed." He was grinning while asking me—he _so_ caught me eyeing the goods.

"Fine and dandy." I cleared my throat. "So, you were going to tell me what you've been up to," I hinted, wanting to get the focus off of me.

"Right. Well I've been working in Sam's garage for a few years now. Which I love. School's pretty much the same. Quil and Embry are always getting us into trouble, hitting on other guys' girlfriends and stuff." I'd only met them a few times: they were mischievous, playing pranks all the time.

"Who would have thought, Jacob Black, _a ladies man_," I teased. He smiled, taking a mouthful of his coke.

"So, any boyfriends, Bella?" His expression was serious now when he asked this. I eyed him for a moment before shaking my head no.

"Nope. The only boys I get harassed by are far from boyfriend material. Mike Newton follows me around like a lost puppy. He's harmless, just a little annoying. Then there's the pervert, Tyler Crowley, who can't keep his eyes to himself—he's a creep. And, finally there's the bane of my existence: Edward Cullen."

I even grimaced when I mentioned him. I looked over to Jake and saw his fist clenched on the table, looking tense. I could hear his foot tapping on the floor, creating an angry rhythm.

"Do you know the Cullens and the Hales well? From the looks you and Rose were giving each other out front, I sensed that you don't get along."

He snorted at my statement. "Yeah, I know them. You see, I'm good friends with Leah Clearwater, who lives opposite you. I don't know if you've met her yet. Her family moved here about five years ago to be nearer to relatives in the area. Emily, Sam's wife, is Leah's cousin. Anyway, she came into the garage one day while I was working, looking for Sam. We got to talking and have been friends ever since. She and her younger brother, Seth are going through a bit of a hard time at the moment as their father recently passed away." His eyes showed his own sadness at this fact.

"Yeah, Dad mentioned something. I mean, I don't know the family and have never met any of them or anything, but I can't even imagine how that must feel." Jake just nodded his head, agreeing with me wholeheartedly.

"Anyway, the Cullens. Naturally, I've met them, considering that they live just opposite Leah and they come to a lot of the parties down in La Push. Plus..." he paused, a look of hate filling his eyes, "Leah knew Edward quite well. The others seem alright; Alice, Emmett and Jasper actually seem pretty cool. But I can't say the same about the other two. No love lost there I'm afraid." I looked at him, wondering what he meant by _knew—_were they not friends any more?

"What do you mean _knew?_" My curiosity was once again getting the better of me.

He raised an eyebrow, staying completely silent. I just stared at him confused, trying to make sense of his words. Then it hit me. "_Oh_, I see. I would say that I'm surprised, but I'm really not. I've seen the boy in action." His eyes momentarily widened with shock at my words before they became dark and angry. I thought back to what I'd just said that would cause his reaction. _Oh shit._

It was my turn to look at him with shock. "No, no, I didn't mean it like _that._ I just meant at school today—it was like a mating ritual in a zoo. I would never..." I trailed off, embarrassed to be talking about this with him.

"So, does Cullen not do it for you then?" he teased. I just snorted at him. Yeah right, I'm pretty sure hate wasn't the right emotion to feel when you're supposed to like someone.

"That would be a _no._ We don't like each other very much." Jake smiled at this, happy at my answer.

I finished off my drink before getting up and dropping the empty can in the bin. "There's a party down at La Push Beach this Friday. I'd really like it if you stopped by," he murmured, obviously unsure of my answer.

"Sure, Jake, I'm sure Alice has already heard about it by now anyway, since, like you said, they go to them quite a lot. But either way, I'll be there." He eyed me for a second before getting up, his chair squeaking against the floor.

"Work calls, but it was really good seeing you again, Bells. I sort of missed you." He was rubbing his neck sheepishly, embarrassed at admitting it.

"Only _sort of?_ Why Jake, you've gone and hurt my feelings. I don't think I'll recover," I said teasingly. He just laughed at me, all embarrassment gone.

"I suppose I sort of missed you, too."

I found that when I said it I didn't find the statement false.

"Of course you did, what's not to love?" His hands moved up and down his chest, making me roll my eyes at his behaviour. Oh, and also admire his flexing muscles beneath his shirt.

"So, I'll see you Friday?"

"Friday," was all I managed to get out. He went to walk out the door but hesitated, turning to give me a quick peck on the cheek and a wink before getting into his car. I was shocked that he'd done it, but I didn't find anything uncomfortable with his actions; it just brought back more memories of the first day I'd met him.

I remember him helping me escape from his sisters' girlie activities to go and play on the dirt roads behind his house on his bike. But, as I was a klutz, I fell off, scraping my knee on a loose rock to the side of the track. I immediately started to cry, trying to keep quiet, not wanting him to see my tears. He ran over, gave me a hug and a kiss on the cheek and told me as many stupid jokes as he could, just to get me to laugh. He succeeded almost instantly.

As I closed the door, I caught my reflection once again in the mirror, pausing for the slightest moment.

I was smiling.

Edward

I was lounging on the sofa in the den, throwing an orange from the fruit bowl between my palms, waiting for my family. I had begrudgingly agreed to watch some shitty movie. Alice played the guilt trip saying she wanted to spend some time with me.

I was already in a pissy mood, as today had not been a good day.

_Fucking Swan_.

"Shit, Edward, stop acting all emo. A smile won't break your face, you know," Jazz was leaning in the doorway, arms folded across his chest.

I rubbed my hands down my face in frustration. "Sorry, it's just been one of those days." I sighed. "Where's everyone else? Alice told me she's making some new damn movie-night tradition and she isn't even here."

"She's grabbing snacks from the kitchen with Rose. And of course where there's food, there's Emmett." He sat opposite from me, placing himself on the love seat, absently tapping his fingers on his knee.

The others soon joined us, Em with his mouth full of God-knew-what. Rose and Alice were talking worriedly about James' interest in Bella. Em and Jazz nodded in agreement.

"I really hope she doesn't like him—he's a slime ball." Alice's face filled with disgust while talking about him.

"He's a cocksucker," I replied, adding to the conversation.

"Well, the two of you have something in common then," Rosalie quipped. I flipped her off while Em and Jazz didn't even try and hide their sniggers.

I threw the now-battered orange straight at Em's chest, hard, bursting out laughing when it splattered all over his shirt. He picked it back up, pulled his arm back and launched it at me. I swiftly dodged out of his way, grabbing it once again. I aimed it at his back as he ran towards the exit. The appearance of Bella gave Em a shield—he stood behind her laughing even harder at my frustrated expression.

"Emmett, you do realize you stink of oranges, right?" Bella questioned, smiling over her shoulder at him.

"Of course I do. You see, Edward over there thought it would be fun to try and make some orange juice." Asshole smirked at me, moving Bella with him as he walked.

"It's no use, Em, I'll still throw it regardless of who you're standing behind." Bella raised her eyebrow at this, stopping in her tracks.

"No, you will not Edward! Bella, don't listen to him," Alice interjected.

"Go on then, do it," she said. I stalked towards her—she was always challenging me. She didn't even flinch when I raised it above her head, making it look like I was going to drop it on her. I just threw it into the bin to our side, causing the wrappers in there to rustle from the sudden intrusion.

"No thanks, I'm good." I gave her my crooked smile before going to sit back down.

"It's a shame, I'm rather fond of orange juice," she sighed. She followed Em, flopping down beside him and Rose.

Alice was looking at her keenly, eyes wide with curiosity. Bella shook her head, mouthing something I couldn't hear. "So, what are we watching?" she asked quietly. I hoped whatever shit they put in would end quickly so I could leave and be by myself for a while.

Of course this simple question caused massive chaos; everyone started shouting over each other to get their choices known.

I was laughing at them, especially Emmett who had food flying out of his mouth throughout his demands. I could see Bella smiling, looking on happily.

"Whoa, guys, calm down. Em, shut your mouth a minute. We're all getting showered in food. Let's hear the choices. Each of you take turns. Rose, you go first."

"I want The Notebook." Of course you did. _Next_. I looked at Jazz, nodding at him to say his choice.

"Gladiator," he replied. I looked at Em next, ready for his pick.

"American Pie," he shouted enthusiastically. Rose huffed—he always chose that movie, mainly because he got to see tits.

"I'm going with Pretty Woman; it's a classic," Alice answered. I scoffed—that's not exactly what I would call a _classic_.

"Right, I think it's only fair Bella chooses, impartial vote and all that," Jazz said. I looked at her expectantly, waiting for her imminent choice of The Notebook.

"Um, well I like all the movies that were mentioned, but..."_ Here we go_—_The Notebook, if not, definitely the hooker one_.

Bella had diverted her eyes to the floor, which was strange, but then I realised why. Alice was trying to give her the pout. Sly Pixie.

"Alice, stop cheating." She looked at me, feigning innocence.

"I'm not doing anything," she replied sweetly. Jazz quickly put his hands over her eyes to hinder her chances of trying to guilt Bella into picking her movie.

"Yeah, I don't believe that for a minute, Allie," Jazz answered. She was giggling, unsuccessfully trying to pry his hands off her face.

I turned to see Em whispering in Bella's right ear, while Rose was doing the same in her left. I reached over to kick Em in the leg resulting in Rose snorting at his cry of pain. This is why we couldn't play board games any more—too many cheaters.

I sighed. "Just choose, Bella. We'll be here forever otherwise."

"Right, I'm going for Gladiator. It's one of my favourites," she said quickly. I was pretty shocked, but happy that we didn't have to watch a chick flick. Jazz cheered; Alice pouted some more—Em was still eating, Rose watching him with an equal amount of amusement and disgust at the amount he could fit into his mouth at one time.

Alice begrudgingly put the DVD in, turned off the lights and settled in beside Jasper on the love seat. Bella moved from between Em and Rose, most likely thinking they would want to sit together, and placed herself at the far end of the couch I was seated on. It was quiet for about a half an hour, everyone watching silently, but I couldn't concentrate.

I tried to ignore her presence, but it was like there was a current caressing my skin. A constant buzz that would not go away. My own personal warning signal to alert me that she was near. I hated it.

She gently cleared her throat. "So, Alice, are you going to the party Friday?" I furrowed my brows. What was she talking about? Had James invited her somewhere?

I made sure to appear indifferent, my facial expressions blank. I just kept my focus on the television screen in front of me.

The sound of clapping filled the room, no doubt Alice getting excited. "Yes, and we're going together, by the way. So there's no getting out of it. But wait—how did you hear about it? I hadn't mentioned it yet."

I sneaked a glance in her direction. Her hesitation to answer puzzled me. What was even more disconcerting, was the fact that her gaze was on me, eyes boring into mine, silent yet ominous.

I stared back; I couldn't look away. She'd thrown away the key—I was trapped. The next words from her mouth proved that she would be my never-ending test. I immediately vowed to myself I wasn't going to fail.

"Jake mentioned it earlier." She turned her attention back to Alice, who was now bouncing slightly in her seat.

"What _else_ did he have to say? What did you talk about? So, did he invite you as, like, his _date?_"

"Can we _not _talk about that mongrel please?" Rose snipped. Who were they talking about?

"Who's Jake?" I asked, confused.

Rose looked at me as if I lived in Simple-Town. She huffed, rolling her eyes. "Jacob Black, dumbass. _That's_ who they're talking about." I narrowed my eyes at Bella.

"You know _Black?_" I spat. That dick had gotten into my business more times than I cared to think about.

"Yes, I know Jacob. Not that it's got anything to do with you." She didn't look angry, just bored at my questioning. Almost as if she expected me to ask. Did she bring him up on purpose?

"Alice, is it okay if I go get a drink please?" Bella murmured, rubbing her hands along her jeans, trying to get the salt from the chips off.

"Yeah, help yourself," Alice answered. Bella rose from the couch, closing the door behind her.

"I'll be right back," I said. Alice went to say something, but Jazz once again cut her off. What was with those two?

I stood in the kitchen doorway, watching Bella grab a bottle of water out of the fridge. She unscrewed the top and took a sip. She spluttered when she noticed me watching her.

"What, are you _stalking_ me now? You're everywhere I turn."

"You're in _my_ house Bella. _My_ kitchen. With _my_ family. What did you expect? I _live_ here, _you_ don't. If you've got a problem with it, leave. You know where the door is." I brushed past her, taking my own bottle of water out.

She didn't say anything, she just continued to drink from her bottle. I could feel her watching me. That tingling sensation running across my skin again.

"So, you and Black, huh? Didn't take you long. Are you _that_ desperate? I mean, if you want to relieve a bit of tension and give your vibrator a break, I'm sure Newton would help you out." I smirked devilishly as she started coughing, her face growing a dark shade of red.

"God you're a dick. Jacob's an old friend, and Newton... that's just disgusting." She slammed her water on the counter, the control from earlier gone.

"Hit a nerve, have I?" I teased, walking up to her and lightly pinching her cheek.

She slapped my hand away. "Ew, don't touch me. You're probably crawling in sexually transmitted diseases. I don't know why girls allow you to go anywhere near them. You make me _sick._" Her chest was rising harshly, teeth grinding.

I kept contact with her furious eyes. "Jealousy isn't a nice trait on a girl, Bella. We both know you love my touch." My fingers found her chin, tilting her face up to mine as she tried to look away.

"I hate your touch. Your voice. Pretty much everything about you." Her words came out in whispers, breath warm against my skin.

"The feeling's mutual, I can assure you," I replied.

"Good."

"Black should be your perfect match—both utterly impossible to get along with." I spoke just as quietly, though I had no reason to actually do so.

"He's a better person than you'll ever be. You use girls. Just like Leah..." She didn't get to finish her sentence as my expression must have startled her.

"Has Black been talking about me again?"

"He didn't say anything. It just wasn't that hard to guess. I mean, you've had everyone else, so why not Leah, too?" _She thinks she's different, better than everyone else_.

"You think you're better than me, don't you? Well, you're not. You had to come here because your mother didn't want you. Your father is _always_ working. So, what does that say about _you_, huh?" I knew I was being harsh but I couldn't find it in me to stop.

"I sent _myself _here. I did something kind for my mother. She'd just gotten remarried; I didn't want her to have to choose between staying home with me and going with Phil. But you wouldn't understand. You're self-centered, selfish, and seem to only care about yourself." Her eyes were glassy and really fucking determined looking in her analysis of me.

"You two ready to come back in?" Em interrupted. I didn't know how long he'd been standing there, but he didn't look unhappy about anything, so I assumed he'd just gotten there. He was looking back and forth between us, waiting for an answer.

"I'm not coming back in, I've got homework I need to do," I said, languidly running my hands through my hair. I winced as my fingers got caught in a tangle, ripping at the roots harshly.

"How can you have homework—it's the first day back?" He looked at Bella but she was facing the ground, avoiding looking at either of us.

"I don't know. I just have, alright." Homework was always pretty simple for me, so we both knew my excuse was a pile of shit.

"But who..."

"God, I'm not coming back in to finish watching the stupid movie. Just fucking drop it, Em." I shouldn't have been taking it out on my brother; it wasn't fair.

I walked out of there before I unintentionally offended him further, and darted for the stairs. My foot hit the first step before I decided to change course and slipped down the corridor into the music room. I headed straight for my piano. I let my fingers run over the cool ivory keys, finding solace in their familiar, smooth texture. I closed my eyes and exhaled slowly, shutting myself off from all other faint noises in the house. My fingers moved fluidly from note to note, pouring out my frustrations. I played for hours, basking in my own solitude, only stopping when I heard the door click behind me. Someone had been listening.


	5. Chapter 5

**Hello again everyone! First order of the day - I'm really excited to say that I now have someone who is graciously helping me fix this mess; so I send an enormous thank you to my new and wonderful beta SusanQ! You seriously are a miracle worker!**

**Thanks to all those who have added me to their favourites and story alerts. :)**

**Also, a special thanks to twimom76 for just being her awesome self!**

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight and all its characters.**

* * *

Bella

The week had passed quickly, each day much the same as the last. I'd go to school, and suffer through the continual curious stares of the students. You'd think they would have gotten bored by now, but no. They still whispered when I passed, turned when I entered a room and swiftly looked away again when Rose sent them all glares. Mike followed me throughout the day. He occasionally walked me to classes—I didn't have the heart to tell him he couldn't when he looked so pleased with himself. I often found myself wondering what it would be like to have no conscience and tell him to sod off.

I'd spoken to James a few more times. The others didn't seem to like him, but he'd been nothing but pleasant to me, so I couldn't be rude back to him. I had also met Laurent. He was more reserved and slightly pompous; always preening and glancing at himself in shiny surfaces. I found the pairing slightly odd, as James was somewhat rough looking, not in a stale, I-haven't-washed-my-clothes-or-showered-in-a-week look, but more, I-shoved-the-first-thing-my-hands-found-this-morni ng-and-tied-my-hair-up-into-a-ponytail-because-I'd -look-good-whatever-I-did look. He was confident in his appearance and in no way insecure. I just didn't know how he could spend time with someone so vain. The only conclusion I'd come to was that he didn't seem to give his friend's actions much thought or attention. I also noticed he spent a lot of time people watching. That was the one thing that made me uneasy about James. He was constantly scouring with his eyes, brain always working. He was like a sponge, soaking up any information that was offered to him or became apparent.

I went over to Alice's most nights after school, just hanging out, doing homework... having impure thoughts about Dr. Cullen. You know, the usual. Charlie had been home more this week, claiming convicts were taking a break. Yeah, right. The only lawbreaking Forks ever encountered were the old ladies from bingo whizzing down the sidewalks in their motorized wheelchairs and knocking over trash cans in their wake. They were ruthless in their quest for greatness. Or in their case getting full house on their bingo cards.

The other unchanged factor was Edward. We hadn't spoken since our last argument on Monday. In fact, I hadn't seen him at the house once this week. He also refrained from sitting with us at lunch. Practically the only time I now saw him was during biology. He had even gone so far to ask Mr. Banner if he could switch lab partners. I had walked into class early on Tuesday afternoon to find him practically begging, saying he would even work alone, but he was denied. I assumed he had felt my presence from the sudden stiffness that overtook his body, but I didn't linger or question him about it, I just carried on to my seat. We ignored each other completely during this hour every day. He didn't acknowledge my presence once. I don't know why, but it started to really grate on me—which made me even more annoyed that I was so bothered by it in the first place.

It was Friday, the day of the party at La Push that I was pretty excited about. I was in need of some fun. I had strict instructions from Alice to bring all of my necessities with me that morning and drop them off at her house. I told her I could easily have gotten them after school, considering I only lived next door, but she said we needed all the available time. This meant hours of preening; the girl was nothing if not thorough.

I pulled my curtains back to see Charlie's cruiser in the driveway still. Weird. I finished packing my bags and rushed from my room, dropping my things at the bottom of the stairs.

"Morning, Dad," I said sweetly.

"Morning, Bells." He was standing there watching me, seemingly wanting to say something else.

"Is everything okay?" I asked warily, not liking the worried look on his face.

"Er, yeah, everything's fine. I... um... just wanted to speak with you about something real quick before I have to go to work," he replied awkwardly.

I brushed past him to get a glass of orange juice, making a note to go to the grocery store sometime this weekend as the contents of the kitchen were practically bare. "Sure, shoot," I said, talking a big gulp of my juice.

"Now, I know you're seventeen and a responsible girl, but I just wanted to tell you to be careful at the party later. Things can sometimes get out of hand at things like that." He paused, rubbing the back of his neck uneasily. "And be wary of boys. They're usually only after one thing, so..."

I choked on my drink, face turning beet-red with embarrassment. "Seriously, Dad, are we having this conversation?" I asked with mortification.

"Well, I was a young man myself once. So here..." My eyes bugged out of my head when he handed me another pepper spray.

"Char... I mean, Dad. I'm going to be fine. Jake's going to be there and I'm practically only going to be around Alice all night anyway. You've seen Emmett, no one is going to do anything with him around." I placed the spray on the table while I put my glass in the sink. "Seriously, nothing to worry about," I said sincerely.

"Just take it for your old man's peace of mind?" I sighed, nodding my head in agreement. "And you're still staying next door tonight?" he queried.

"Yeah, I'm going straight there when school's finished, so I won't be here to cook tonight. Do you think you could order in? I would have prepared something but there's nothing really left in the house apart from crackers and beer," I laughed.

He chuckled. "Jeez, Bells. I've survived years by myself, so I think I can handle one night. I'll just get a pizza on my way home from work." I gulped, looking away. The thought of Charlie spending day after day alone in this house made me feel incredibly guilty.

"Okay then, as long as you're sure?" I gave him a small smile as his hand came out to ruffle my hair.

I laughed, pulling my head away. "You know, Alice will kill you if you mess up my hair," I teased.

His lips curled up slightly—he totally had a soft spot for my pixie friend. "Yeah, well, she won't have to know about it, will she," he said with a wink. "Anyway, I need to head off. I'll see you tomorrow... and despite what I said earlier, have fun."

I simply replied, "I will." With that, he left for work.

I grabbed a granola bar and started absently munching on it while gazing out the window at the small birds getting their own breakfast from the damp soil. I put the last bite into my mouth, glancing at the clock—crap was _that_ the time?

I scooped my bags off the floor while simultaneously trying to slot my arms through the sleeves of my coat—_so_ wasn't working. Once I was all buttoned up and had my bags securely in my grasp, I walked briskly next door. Alice was already waiting in the kitchen with her whole family, and yes, that also included Edward. I knocked on the inner kitchen door, and all five of them turned their heads toward my blushing face. I noticed Edward turned his head back around again when he realized it was me.

"Good morning, Dear," Esme said softly, giving me a gentle hug.

"Morning," I whispered. I felt slightly awkward that I was interrupting something, as it was very rare for them to be together like this. In fact, I had never seen Edward interact with his parents before. I had to admit I was a little intrigued.

Dr. Cullen walked forward and winked at me. Yes, winked! If that wasn't enough, he was wearing his doctor's coat. Was it suddenly hot in here, or was it just me? I was pretty sure my cheeks were the brightest shade of fuchsia by now. This man obviously had a mighty gift. I didn't usually like presents, but I'd take a package off him any day. Oh my god, what the hell was I _doing?_ This had to stop. It was becoming too much. My thoughts were opening a local whore-house inside my brain, sign reading 'Enter For Smutty Fun and Impure Thoughts About Dr. DILF.' I was an _awful_ person.

"Here, let me take those bags from you, Bella. I'll take them up to your room for you," Dr. Cullen said, reaching for my rather heavy sacks. The spare room on the top floor had been practically given to me, what with the amount of time I had been spending here.

"Oh, you don't have to do that, I can do it. You guys carry on with... well, whatever it was I interrupted," I spoke rapidly.

"Nonsense," he replied taking my things. "You didn't interrupt anything. I was just telling these three to stay out of trouble tonight." He smiled.

"Yeah, I already had the speech from Charlie this morning," I said. I turned to look at Emmett who was grinning widely at me.

"And what did the Chief have to say, Bells?" Em asked, amusement evident in his voice.

"Er... just to be safe and stuff and..." I cut myself off, remembering the embarrassing boy talk.

"_And?_" he inquired further, waving his hands to tell me to carry on.

"And _nothing_. Just the usual," I murmured, gnawing on my bottom lip and looking anywhere but at his entertained face. His phone sounded, and he thankfully left the room to answer it.

"Well, have a good day at school today, kids," Dr. Cullen said. Esme trailed behind him out of the door.

Alice quickly left to go get her bag from upstairs, leaving me alone in the kitchen with Edward. That strange buzzing sensation that I felt when in proximity to him started up again. It made me feel even more uncomfortable than I already was in the now-silent room. I began playing with my hair, absently twirling the ends around my pinky finger. I took a sly glance at him from underneath my lashes, halting my movements with my hands instantly. He was leaning back with his elbows on the kitchen counter behind him, face tilted upwards towards the ceiling, the complete picture of ease. I scowled at him as some sick part of me would rather he be yelling at me, glaring at me, _anything_ but the way he looked now. Why did he get to act so indifferent when I couldn't? Jerk.

Alice re-entered the kitchen, her usual energetic self. "So, Bella, looking forward to tonight? You'll get to see Jake again," she replied playfully, nudging me with her elbow.

I sneaked another glance at Edward. _This_ time his jaw was tight and his fists were clenched. He looked anything but at ease. I smiled.

"Yeah, I suppose. I mean, I'm more excited about seeing Jake than the actual party," I shrugged. I still hadn't taken my eyes off Edward, trying to gauge his reaction. When he suddenly left the room, I felt an incredible amount of self-satisfaction. His cool demeanor had been momentarily broken.

"Where's Rose and Jasper?" I asked confused. There were usually here by now.

"They should be here any minute now. Their mom is going away on 'business' for a few days." She was using air quotes around the word business. "When she does, she makes them all sit down for a family breakfast together. Makes her feel less guilty about leaving," Alice finished.

"Does she go away often?" I asked hesitantly. I knew that their parents had been divorced for a while now, but I didn't want to pry into business that might be off limits.

"Yeah, quite often, but they're used to it by now. Doesn't effect them as much as it used to. They pretty much live here anyway. They feel more at home in this house than their own," she replied softly. I nodded, understanding why they would feel like that—the Cullen's house screamed comfort.

"Speak of the devils," she said as Jazz and Rose came bursting through the front door. Alice immediately ran off, jumping into Jazz's already open arms. Rose just rolled her eyes, coming to join me in the kitchen. She made her way back to the hallway once she realized Emmett wasn't with me and stood at the bottom of the stairs shouting up to him.

"Emmett Cullen, get you cute butt down here!" There was banging upstairs for a second before he came barrelling down the stairs, pulling her into his typical bear hug.

"Watch the hair, Em," she said. But from the smile on her face I could tell she wasn't really that bothered by it at all.

We all grabbed our things, heading out to the Jeep. We drove to school together, unless Em and Jazz had baseball practice after school, then we would just take Alice's car. As we pulled into the parking lot, I immediately wanted to hide—Mike was once again waiting for me. Rose turned to me, trying to hide her amusement, but it _so_ wasn't working. Her face broke out into a smile as she roared with laughter. I buried my face in Alice's shoulder, her little hands rubbing my back reassuringly. I could tell from the slight shaking of her tiny form that she, too, was laughing. I stepped out, keeping my gaze on the ground. I hoped like hell that if I didn't make direct eye contact with him, he wouldn't come over. Wishful thinking was obviously just that; _wishful_.

"Hey, Bella, you look nice this morning," Mike voiced cheerfully. I mentally rolled my eyes. I wore the same damn uniform everyday; I didn't look any different than I did the day before.

"Thanks, Mike," I replied unenthusiastically. I knew he was only being nice so I tried not to be too unfriendly.

"So, are you going to that party in La Push tonight?" he asked hopefully.

"Yeah, we're going," I said. A smile lit up his face.

"Well, I'll see you there then," he ran off, too damn happy for any sane person. It was almost as if I'd agreed to go as his date or something. I grimaced hoping he wasn't getting any stupid ideas into his head. A flash of silver speeding into its usual spot only caused my grimace to deepen. Stupid shiny Volvo. Edward stepped out all crooked smiles and tousled hair. His eyes landed on the flock of girls who were smiling back at him, whispering and giggling to each other. _Sick._

Edward came to stand next to Em, talking amusedly with him about something or other. He'd obviously gotten over his earlier irritation. I hadn't even noticed Ben had been in the car with him until he joined Edward's side. He was staring behind my head at something—or should I say _someone._ I turned to see Angela getting out of her car a few spots down.

"Hey, Angela!" I called. Her head snapped up to me in surprise. I introduced myself to Angela in math on Tuesday. She was the only one in the class who hadn't been gawking at me, so I changed my seat from the day before and asked if I could sit next to her. Thank God she'd said yes. I found her to be quiet, and a little shy, but throughout the week we had gradually started opening up to each other. She was a really sweet girl.

She hesitantly made her way over to us, stopping at my side. "Hey," she whispered, eyes glancing around her nervously.

I gave her a big smile, watching as her gaze lingered a little longer on Ben than the rest of us; looked like he wasn't the only one who had a little crush. Alice must have noticed it, too, as she got that unmistakable look in her eye that I had seen directed at me only a few days prior. The poor girl stood no chance.

"Hey, Angela, you know Ben, right?" Typical Alice, getting straight to the point. Angela blushed a little, but Ben didn't seem to mind Alice's question. Edward stopped his talk with Emmett, watching Ben with a small smile on his lips, obviously realizing what was happening.

"A little. I mean I know of him, but we've never actually... spoken," she replied, looking at Ben the entire time even though it was Alice who had asked her the question. Ben stuck his hand out really freaking fast, like seriously it made a few of us jump, but Angela didn't even flinch. It was like they were in their own bubble.

"Can I walk you to your first class?" Ben asked automatically, clearly wanting to have some alone time with her. We were all shocked—looked like he wasn't that shy after all.

"Sure," she whispered, turning to give me a shy smile. "I'll see you later, Bella."

"Yeah, see you in math," I replied happily.

"Well, that was fucking easy," Rose quipped. Alice and I were giddy. I didn't think that had ever worked for her before.

"Come on, matchmakers, time for class," Jazz muttered. He threw an arm over both our shoulders to lead us through the doors.

The time before lunch passed pretty quickly. Angela was all smiles in class, saying that Ben had hardly let her get a word in edgewise when talking. I laughed at that, telling her that he never spoke more than a few words at a time to people, so he must like her. That resulted in her smile to widen further. Her cheeks were going to ache like hell later from all her smiling, not that she'd probably even notice. He had apparently asked her to meet him for lunch on the benches outside, to which she had agreed. It was nice to see that sometimes things didn't have to be complicated or uneasy. That simplicity could win out in the end.

At the sound of the bell, I gathered my books and quickly made my way to my locker. Once I had dumped my things, I walked to the cafeteria while simultaneously trying to pull my right sock up that had started to fall down a little in my haste. I pushed open the doors, spotting everyone else sitting waiting for me. I motioned with my hands that I'd be there in a second and joined the lunch line. I was next in the queue to pay when someone pushed in front of me; of course it would be _him_.

"Do you mind? Go wait in line like everyone else," I whispered harshly.

"No, I'm fine where I am thanks." That was the first he'd spoken to me in four days. Then he went and pushed it further; fucking holding everyone up by asking the lunch lady to go and check in the back to see if they had any bottles of Coke left as he didn't drink orange soda. What shocked me most was that she agreed. He smiled crookedly at her, her face all blushes and coy glances.

"What, do you dazzle everyone to get what you want?" I asked incredulously. He eventually turned around to face me, eyes finally making contact with mine.

"I wasn't dazzling anyone, I was asking for a favour from the nice lady," he responded, shrugging his shoulders.

"Please, you so dazzled her; flirted with her even. Plus, she's like _sixty_ or something. You shouldn't get her excited like that, it's probably not good for her."

He gave me that same crooked smile. "Do I dazzle you?"

I thought back to the first time I saw him, and, yeah, I had been a little stunned at his appearance, but I had been in a near death accident and didn't have my wits about me. Plus, he ruined everything when he went and opened his mouth.

"No!" I yelled, hoping my hesitancy hadn't been misconstrued. His gaze hardened slightly but he turned to face the lunch lady again who had indeed found him a Coke in the back. I paid for my things, and made my way to my table when James stopped me.

"Do you think I could join you today, Bella?" he asked pleasantly. Shit, I didn't know what to do as I knew the others probably wouldn't be favourable to the idea.

"Err..." I trailed off, thinking what I could say to him. Alice spotted my dilemma and I practically begged her with my eyes to help me out. She huffed then nodded, whispering to all the others at the table, probably telling them to be calm about it or something.

"Sure," I half smiled. We walked to the table; he took the seat next to mine.

Everyone at the table was tense, including myself. I pushed fry after fry into my mouth to keep myself busy as it was fucking awkward as hell. Apparently, I was a nervous eater.

"So, Bella, you going to that party tonight?" James inquired, breaking the silence.

"How many more times? Yes, she is god damn going! Okay?" Rose barked. James eyed her, his features hard and cold.

"Oh, is this not the first you've been asked today?" he questioned, turning back to face me.

"No, it isn't the first time she's been asked today. Newton was first. He was waiting to pounce before she even got out of the car this morning," Rose replied.

"Then there was Crowley in history," Jasper cut in.

"Then Eric in English," quipped Alice. I hadn't told her that he'd already asked me in math as well, perhaps trying to gauge if I was telling the truth.

"Do they always speak for you, Bella, or is this a newly acquired occurrence?" Frustration coloured James' voice. I could see Jasper glaring at the side of James' head and Emmett's expression wasn't much better.

My eyes caught Edward's across the room from me. He was sitting with some of his harem and a few boys I didn't recognize. He was just looking at me calmly, spinning the bottle cap from his drink on the table. I quickly turned away, placing my hand gently on James' arm in an attempt for him not to turn around. I'm pretty sure once he took in everyone's hostile stares, things would turn unpleasant. Well, even _more_ unpleasant.

"Walk me to my locker, James?" I asked sweetly, trying to diffuse the situation.

He smiled at me nodding. He got up from his seat with a smirk sent to someone in the room; I noticed he did this a lot recently. Once James started to walk away, I mouthed a _Sorry_ at everyone. Alice shook her head, indicating it wasn't my fault.

I caught up with James; he automatically placed his palm against my back. He had started doing this more and more during the past few days. I didn't necessarily mind it, but I wasn't entirely comfortable with it either. We got to my locker in silence; I took out the books I needed, zipping them away in my bag. I shut the metal door. When I turned, I was backed into it as James leaned in towards me, resting one of his hands by my head.

"So I'll see you tonight then?" he whispered. He ran one finger down the side of my face to push a piece of hair behind my ear. An uneasy feeling bubbled in my stomach, causing me to turn my head to the side. I wanted to be happy when two people walked down the corridor, heading for the girls' bathroom so I could have excused myself, but I couldn't. Lauren Mallory had her mouth by Edward's ear. Her hands reached for the front of his pants, but his attention was solely focused on James. They disappeared into the bathroom a second later, leaving me alone once again.

I slowly slid along the lockers, finally free of him. I sneaked a glance at his face, which was all ease again. He was leaning against my locker, one hand in his pocket the other scratching his neck.

"Er... yeah I guess. Anyway, I'm going to get to class now. I'll see you later." I smiled at him, feeling awkward about leaving so abruptly, as he hadn't really done anything wrong.

"Yeah, sure thing," he smiled back, all charming and polite which made me feel even more guilty.

I leisurely made my way to biology. I stepped into the empty room and headed for my seat. Since there were about ten minutes until lunch was over, I pulled out my tattered and much-loved copy of Wuthering Heights, losing myself in one of my favourite books. I had just reached the part where Heathcliff had returned, when the door opened and Edward walked in. If only I could be as joyous about _his_ sudden appearance.

He came in and sat in his usual seat next to me, that unwelcome buzzing feeling accompanying him. I carried on reading, trying to ignore his presence, when he snatched the book right out of my hands.

"Hey, give it back!" I yelled, attempting to grab my book. He only raised his hand higher, effectively putting it out of my reach.

"Why are you reading this rubbish? Typical girlie choice," he replied mostly to himself as he continued to hold on to it.

I huffed and sat childishly with my hands across my chest, scowling at him. "It's not rubbish. You obviously have really bad taste, hence the fact you just got off in a bathroom with Lauren Mallory. Real classy," I retorted. He slammed my book back in front of me on the desk. My victorious smile lit up my face as I took in the angry one etched on his.

The class had started to fill up by now. Both of us went back to ignoring each other. Mr. Banner began the lesson. He turned on the projector and droned on about plant cells that I could really care less about.

When Mr. Banner finished the lesson, he stood at the front of his desk and addressed the room. "You'll be starting your after-school project next week with your lab partner. You will have a month to complete it and I expect 100% from each of you. It must be a joint effort. I don't want one person doing all the work." He shot pointed glances to some of the students in the room. Wait just a second, did he just say _after-school_ _project?_ I turned my opened-mouthed face to meet Edward's, who was looking at me pretty much the same way. Oh, fuck no! We couldn't spend alone time together after school. We'd kill each other after the first ten minutes!

The bell rang, signaling the end of the school day. Both of us remained in our seats, probably trying to figure out a solution to get out of this. Mr. Banner made his way over to our table, looking at both of us meaningfully.

"Now, I don't know what the problem is with the two of you, and quite frankly, I don't care. I know there is some tension, but you are both the highest averaging students in my class so you are perfectly matched as partners. Now, like I told Edward when he requested a partner change a couple of days ago, you are both old enough to not let personal reasons get involved with your work. Now get out of here. It's the weekend, go have some fun." With that, he left the room.

I sighed heavily, turning to face Edward. "This will probably end in blood being spilled but we just have to get on with it, okay? We'll work out some kind of schedule or something when the time comes." I spoke evenly and calmly to him even though all I wanted to do was pull my hair out in frustration.

"Right," he replied in resignation. I nodded at him as we both gathered up our things, walking to the parking lot beside one another.

It was strange walking the empty halls with the one person you couldnn't stand. Hearing his every step echoing throughout the stairwells and hallways felt like I was choking on him. As soon as we stepped outside, I stopped to take a deep breath of air. I felt the tension leave my body, all sense of him dissipating. Alice skipped towards me, her usual chirpy self. She threaded her arm through mine, smiling widely at me.

"Gah, I can't wait until we get home so I can start getting you ready," Alice said enthusiastically. I looked at Jazz in alarm, mouthing_ Help me_ to him. The traitor just winked at me.

"Um, Alice you do realize we're only going to a beach right?" I laughed.

"Uh, of course I do, silly. That doesn't mean I can't make your hair pretty... well prettier than it already is." She ran her hands wistfully through my locks, pouting softly at me. She loved my hair.

"There's no need to give me the pout, Alice. Have I said no to you yet?" She put her little finger to her chin, looking off to the side.

"Nope," she replied, cheekily grinning at me.

"Come on you two, let's move!" Em shouted from the front seat of the Jeep.

When we got back to the Cullens', we quickly made ourselves a sandwich, chatting about random things. Alice soon dragged me and Rose off to start whatever the hell it was she had planned. She sat me in front of her vanity mirror and immediately started on my hair. She straightened the entire length, babbling on the entire time about who would most probably be there.

"So, what did you and James do when you left during lunch?" Rose asked while applying some pink gloss to her lips.

I shifted, remembering how uncomfortable he had made me feel. "Nothing, he just walked me back to my locker. He told me he'd see me later. Then I went to biology early and read for a bit."

"You don't actually like him, though, right?" Alice asked, now applying mascara to my eyes.

"God, no. I mean he's okay I suppose, but totally not my type." This seemed to appease both of them. Then Alice caught on to something.

"So pray tell, Bella, who_ is_ your type?" The honest truth was, I didn't even know I had a type.

"I'm not sure," I chuckled. "But it's definitely _not_ James."

Once Alice had finished my makeup—which was very minimal, just a bit of mascara, blush and strawberry flavoured lip balm as I hated the sticky consistency of gloss—she pulled out clothing from my bag. I put on my skinny jeans, white tank and black leather jacket, and of course my black high top Converse. They were obviously my choice, not hers.

As soon as we were all ready, we piled into Emmett's Jeep and set off. We listened to some rap music that Em loved—it was hilarious to see him singing along with his cap sideways on his head. We pulled up alongside a row of cars parked off to the side. I spotted a huge bonfire a little way down the beach. I got out and immediately spotted James, and gave him a small wave. A wave of nostalgia suddenly hit me when I saw Jake nearby, laughing happily with two other boys who looked about the same age as us. I stood there watching him, a smile on my face. One of his friends nudged him, flipping his head in my direction. Jake turned and beamed that happy ass smile at me.

"I'm just going to say hey to Jake, I'll be back," I said eagerly. I watched as Rose wrinkled her face in disgust.

I gave Alice a quick hug and walked up to him smiling. I was utterly shocked when he lifted me up from the ground and spun me round, causing giggles to escape from my mouth in surprise. I looked around, starting to feel a little self-conscious as people were starting to stare. I patted his arm gently for him to put me down. He kept his hands on my hips to steady me before letting go. Good thing, too, as I was still feeling a little dizzy from the unexpected spinning.

"I was starting to think you weren't going to come," Jake murmured. "And... er... you look nice, by the way." He light-heartedly pushed his friends when they started to mumble something I couldn't quite make out.

"I told you I would be here," I replied, rolling my eyes at him. "So, are you going to introduce me to your friends?" I asked, giving them both a smile.

He leaned into me slightly. "You've already met them," he whispered. I could feel my face scrunch up in confusion, trying to work out who they could be.

"I'm sorry, I can't think..." I trailed off as the taller one of the two stepped forward.

"How could you forget us, Bella?" he questioned, all the while grinning mischievously at his friend. "Say, we were both wondering if you're still fond of frogs?" My eyes widened at that—those little shits.

"No way! Are you two Quil and Embry?" I was completely astounded. "I was only joking with Jake the other day when I asked what the hell they'd been feeding him down at the rez... and now looking at you both as well, it's making me wonder whether you're all part of some weird scientific program!"

They laughed. "No scientific program. We're just from good stock," Quil said, standing up straighter, pushing his chest out, and winking at me.

"Yeah... strong men," Embry added, kissing his flexed arm. I snorted, jokingly squinting my eyes at them while poking a finger into each of their chests.

"And don't think I've forgiven you two for the frogs either. That prank gave me nightmares for months!"

When I was ten, Billy and Charlie took all four of us camping. I was the only girl there, so naturally I had my own tent, but unknown to me I wasn't alone. Quil and Embry had hidden at least a dozen frogs in my sleeping bag. I screamed, fighting my way out of my tent with tear-filled eyes. Charlie went into cop mode, jumping out of his tent and immediately scanning the area while trying to get me to calm down. I had pointed to my tent, his mustache twitching when he found the culprits hopping out one by one. I stood there sniffling, while Billy gave the two boys a talking to, but you could see from his face he was trying hard not to laugh. Jake had announced that I was going to sleep with them in their tent, even giving me his sleeping bag as I was too scared to use mine. Looking back on it now, it was pretty funny.

"I still get a laugh out of it," Quil announced chuckling. Jake smacked the back of his head, making Embry burst out laughing, so I sidled up to him and slapped the back of his also. I gave Jake a high five, laughing at both of their mock hurt expressions.

"Come on, Quil, let's leave these lovebirds to it." I looked away, a little embarrassed at Embry's teasing.

I could see Jake glaring at them both as they walked over to the CD player someone had brought. Things had turned a little awkward which was just silly, so I nudged Jake lightly with my elbow, motioning to one of the log benches near the fire.

"Sorry about them, Bella. I think they're just secretly excited to see you," he smirked.

"No, it's fine." I pointed over to where they stood. "Some things never change, huh?" I chuckled as Quil and Embry were chatting up a group of girls, who I recognized from some of my classes.

He laughed quietly, shaking his head. "I guess not."

We soon settled into easy conversation, reminiscing about old times and just generally having fun. He left to go get us some drinks, leaving me as an easy target for one particular person: Mike. He practically leaped at me, tripping over the log and landing smack on his ass. I tried really hard not to laugh, I really did, but it was just so comical that I couldn't help it. He looked slightly embarrassed as I held out a hand to help him to his feet.

"Are you OK?" I asked, seeing that he was now covered in sand. I thought about helping him get it off, but I didn't think it would be very wise of me to suddenly start wiping my hands on his butt. He might have taken it the wrong way, and assumed I was trying to cop a feel.

"Yeah, I'm good," he cleared his throat. "So, are you enjoying yourself?"

"I am, it's been really nice to come back here. I forgot how much I love this place," I answered, scanning the beach for Jake. I spotted him getting chatted up by some of Edward's harem. He saw me looking and gave me a wink, much to the displeasure of Makenna and Jane.

Mike noticed my staring. "That guy has hardly left your side all night," he stated moodily. _Yeah, good observation skills_. It was a shame he couldn't be so attentive when it came to giving me a breather every once in a while. I mean, he hardly ever said anything anyway, just a quick, "You look nice," and a shit load of ogling.

Mike tensed up, eying something over my shoulder. I felt an arm come around my waist, and a drink placed in my hand.

I heard a throat clearing behind me, "I'm Jake, it's always nice to meet one of Bella's friends." Jake held out his hand to Mike who looked like he wanted to spit on it.

"Yeah... nice," Mike replied, gripping his hand. From the white forming around his knuckles, I think they were having some sort of macho contest. I rolled my eyes. _Boys._

"How long have you two known each other?" Mike questioned, still sizing Jake up.

"Bells and I have known each other since we were around eight years old." He pulled me back tighter to his chest. _Oh, hello muscles._

"Have you ever dated?" Mike asked, looking rather annoyed.

"That's private I'm afraid, _Mikey._" I choked on my drink, his hand rubbed my back as I started to cough.

"It's a pretty simple question if you ask me," Mike countered back.

"Yeah, well no one _did_ ask you. Now if you'll excuse us, Bella and I are going to go find somewhere more private to hang out." I didn't even get a chance to see Mike's reaction as I was being pushed forward.

"What was all that about?" I asked when we'd finally stopped moving.

He reached a hand out to push some hair from my face. "I didn't like the way he was looking at you," he shrugged. The feel of his fingers on my skin was comforting. Everything about Jake was comforting.

"God is that all? He does that all the time, he's harmless," I responded, taking a big gulp of my drink. I looked in my plastic cup; I didn't even know what was inside it, but it was fruity and I liked it. I wanted another one.

I was about to tell him I was going to get another drink, when we heard shouting. We followed the noise, seeing that a small crowd had formed a little further down the beach. He grabbed my hand and started pushing us through the throngs of people. I spotted Quil and Embry and a few other rez kids getting into a scuffle with some of the guys from my school. I didn't have a clue who they were, but from the looks of a few of the girls that stood tense, I could guess that they were probably their boyfriends. I remembered Jake telling me that that kind of thing had happened before, so I wasn't at all surprised.

"I'm really sorry, Bella, but I'm going to have to go help diffuse this mess, will you be okay?" he asked. I smiled, nodding my head. I took a glance at my phone, shocked when I saw it was already well past midnight.

"No go on, those two need some help," I laughed, looking at the clusterfuck in front of me. "I better go find Alice and everyone anyway. If I don't see you before I leave, I just wanted you to know I had fun."

He gave me a huge, toothy grin, grabbed my phone and typed something in. His phone started ringing so I knew he had given me his number and vice versa.

"Billy mentioned he hasn't seen you in a while, so maybe when Charlie comes down, you could come with him?" he asked, somewhat unsure.

I nodded my head eagerly, "Sounds good." His grin was still in place as stepped forward to press a light kiss to my cheek before turning to go break up the fight.

I walked around, a spring in my step while trying to find my friends. I was relieved when I finally spotted Rose's blonde locks by the Jeep. Her hair was kind of mussed at the back and Emmett emerged from the side of the vehicle with his shirt a little creased. No guesses on what they had just been doing.

"Who's this? Do you recognize her, Em? Because I don't." Rose raised her right eyebrow at me.

I smiled at her sheepishly. "Sorry, guys, I kind of deserted you, didn't I? I honestly didn't mean to, we just got talking and I..." Rose rolled her eyes at me, waving her hand as if it was nothing.

"Jeez, I was joking, Bella. I knew you were looking forward to spending some time with him, even though I have to say that is utterly disturbing. Anyway, I don't suppose you've spotted Alice and Jasper have you? They disappeared on us a little while ago. We've tried phoning them but we keep going straight to voice-mail."

I shook my head. "No I haven't, but I need to stretch my legs a little. I've been sitting down too long so I'll go look for them," I replied, scanning the crowd. I noticed that another sibling hadn't been in attendance all night. Not that I had been looking or anything.

"Don't wander off too far by yourself, Bella, I don't want you getting lost somewhere or have to kick some guys ass for man-handling you," Em said seriously.

"I won't. I'll meet you guys back here whether I find them or not," I replied, smiling reassuringly at them both. Rose looked a little worried so I gave her hand a squeeze before walking back down the beach in search of the pixie.

I was making my way through the hordes of people. The whole time I couldn't quite shake off the feeling that I was being watched. I turned to find James staring at me intensely, that same uneasiness pooling in my stomach. He stepped forward, heading for me. I stopped walking, not wanting to be rude, but I didn't want to stay and chat with him either. When Victoria blocked his path, I decided that I wouldn't quite hate her as much as her other skanky friends. Well, until Monday at least.

I quickly made my escape, thankfully managing to also doge both Tyler and Eric when I realized they had noticed me. I stopped to ask a girl named Sarah from my history class if she had seen Alice or Jazz lately. She told me she had seen them a while ago heading towards the surrounding woods, but hadn't seen them since. I thanked her, deciding to search a little further out, even though Emmett had told me not to wander off.

I half ran down the beach, trying to adjust my eyes to the darkness, the pearl-like glow of the moon my only source of light. I knew Alice had come this way a little earlier. The quicker I found her, the sooner I could leave. I got to the edge of the surrounding forest, stopping to listen for any signs of movement within. The only sounds were those of the willowy branches rustling in the light ocean breeze. I continued on a little further, my shoes sinking into the mossy undergrowth that had collected upon the woodland floor. Finding my efforts fruitless, I decided to retreat, but froze when the sudden snapping of a twig sounded throughout the area.

"Alice?" I whispered hesitantly, not wanting to unnecessarily draw attention to myself if it wasn't her. I took a tentative step forward, craning my neck around the thick bark of the tree in front of me, willing my eyes to spot her tiny frame.

The unexpected intrusion of a hand placed across my mouth brought my actions to a halt, my body growing rigid with fright. I was starting to panic, my nostrils flaring while trying to draw breath, my shouts only coming out as muffled murmurs against warm skin. Before I had chance to really question what the hell was going to happen to me, a familiar voice whispered into my ear.

"Shhh, it's just me. I didn't mean to scare you, just please stay quiet for a minute until she leaves." What was he talking about? Until _who_ leaves? I was about to tell him to get the fuck off me, but a voice cut off my attempts.

"Eddie, are you here?" The girl's yell prompted him to move us until we were fully hidden behind the wide trunk, the rough bark digging uncomfortably into my back as his warm body pressed fully onto mine. I could just make out his face. His eyes were unfocused as he was gazing off to the side, obviously listening for any sign that the girl had left.

I shifted my hips to try and stop a particularly sharp piece of bark from stabbing into my right side. Needless to say, it didn't help in the slightest. I was beginning to lose my patience, so I pushed my hips forward again to try and get him off me. Still didn't work.

Footsteps came from our left. They were pretty close from the sound of things. Edward moved his head slowly to finally look at me, the expression in his eyes telling me to stop fidgeting. I just glared back at him, wanting nothing more than to knee him in balls for scaring me like that. All was quiet again for a couple of minutes, not that I was paying as much attention as I should have been. Even in this darkness, his green eyes were captivating. His brow started to furrow, looking suddenly annoyed at something. He broke our gaze to press his face into the crook of my neck, his warm breaths sending tingles across my flesh.

"Hello? Shit, I _knew_ Lauren was lying about seeing him come this way. She probably did it to get me out the way so she could have him all to herself." I now recognized that voice: Jessica fucking Stanley. She was grumbling some more, but I was done listening to her crap. I was now more focused on the fact that Edward was hiding from one of his harem.

As I couldn't physically push him off me, I knew I had to use different tactics. His hand had loosened its hold on me slightly—enough for me to somewhat open my mouth. So I bit him. _Hard_.

I thought for sure he would shout or cry out in pain—give himself away—but nope. The fucker bit me back! His teeth were pressing into the cold flesh of my neck, not as forceful as my own attack but still, enough to know that it was going to leave a mark. I groaned against his palm, the mild sting forcing me to close my eyes and try to even out my breathing. He disengaged his mouth after a few more seconds—finally, I thought—but then something happened that I didn't expect. His lips were now lightly tracing the area where his teeth had just been, brushing them in smooth, soothing gestures. My eyes shot open—what the fuck did he think he was doing?

I was contemplating yanking his head back by his stupid hair, maybe slap his perfect face for good measure. That thought went straight out the window when I felt his tongue join in with his ministrations. I momentarily froze: the only audible noise was my pulse ringing through my ears. I was furious.

My hands grabbed his shoulders, pushing as hard as I could to get him off me. He removed his palm from my lips, tilting his head back up to meet my face.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" I whispered menacingly, narrowing my eyes at him.

"I was just having a little taste," he smirked, eyeing the place where his mouth had just been. "And don't pretend like you didn't enjoy it, we both know you did," he said quietly, pressing me further against the tree. His hand came to my throat, lightly trailing his surprisingly soft fingers down until they met my collarbone. My skin broke out in goose bumps with every new bit of skin he touched. "See how your body is reacting to my touch? You can't deny it." A shiver rippled through me, causing him to grin smugly at me.

I slapped his hand away. "Listen, fucktard, it's cold out here. It has nothing to do with your actions. The only feeling coursing through me right now is disgust," I spat, not willing to control the level of my voice any longer.

"Keep telling yourself that, _Isabella." _I scowled at him—he'd never called me by my full name before. He paused for a second, just staring at me intently. "You know, if I wanted you, I could have you. You wouldn't be able to resist." I kept my face expressionless. Which part of disgust did he not understand?

"Well then, it's a good thing you don't want me. Isn't it?" I replied hastily, not liking where this conversation was heading.

His gaze was piercing right through me, completely relentless. "Don't get me wrong, I can hardly stand the sight of you. I mean it when I say I have absolutely no feelings for you. But the way you think you're indifferent to me..." his eyes flickered to my neck and back again. "I'm thinking we should test that theory." A crooked smile appeared over his mouth. _Asshole._

"Well, I don't!" I yelled. "And either way, it wouldn't work. I'd never fall for any of your shit." My chest was heaving with angry breaths. Seriously, who the fuck did he think he was?

"You've got a bit of a temper don't you?" he asked, amusement evident in his voice. Had he only just noticed my hostility around him?

"Only around you. You seem to bring out my worst," I replied honestly, his eyes not moving from mine.

"I could bring out your best sides just as easily," he whispered teasingly, his warm breath floating over my face and stunning me a little.

"I very much fucking doubt it. Plus, it's a moot point, you'd never get the chance," I said, finally managing to push him back. I swiftly turned my back on him, escaping his predatory look.

I made it about three steps away from him when his arm shot out, halting my movements. "I can promise you that I will. I never lose." His voice was there one second, then gone the next. I didn't dare turn around so I ran out of there. My feet caught on strong roots, causing me to occasionally stumble, but I thankfully managed to keep myself upright.

I hastened my pace, my gaze zoned in on the giant flames of the bonfire. I spotted Jasper talking to Em by the Jeep; relief washed over me as I realized Alice would be around somewhere.

"Where have you been? I've been looking for you everywhere!" Alice popped up by my side. Where the hell did she come from?

"Shit, Alice, you nearly gave me a heart attack," I replied breathlessly. "I've been off looking for you. We were all ready to leave, but you and Jazz both had your phones off so I went searching for you." She was blushing slightly—Alice never blushed.

"Yeah, sorry about that," she said sheepishly. "Anyway, we're all ready to go now, so come on." She grabbed my hand, leading me to the others.

"There's my little SVB," Em said, ruffling my hair playfully, obviously glad I had arrived back safely. "We all set?" he asked everyone. We all nodded, getting into the Jeep. The drive home was pretty quiet until Alice decided to rectify that.

"So, Bella, Jacob hardly left your side all night. What did you guys talk about?" she asked curiously.

"Nothing really. Just stuff," I answered vaguely.

"Well, what _kind _of stuff?" She inquired again.

"Lots of stuff. Family, friends, nothing really that interesting." I could tell she was getting irritated with my non-committal answers. Her little face was scowling slightly.

"From the way he was looking at you, I have a feeling we'll be seeing a lot more of Jacob Black," Alice said, trying to get more of a reaction out of me. I shrugged, biting my bottom lip. I had noticed his looks and gentle touches but they could have meant he was happy to see me, just like I was him.

"God, I hope not," Rose automatically sneered. Jazz just shook his head smiling while Em was laughing loudly up front.

"Come on, babe, he's not that bad," Em said through chuckles. Rose huffed from her seat next to me.

"He is to me. If Bella wants to get all up on his hotdog that's her choice—however fucking disgusting I might add—but that doesn't mean I have to like him," she replied.

"_Rose!_" I shouted, slapping her playfully on the arm.

"What? Please, Bella, you were all over each other, flirting and shit. Almost made me lose my dinner." I shifted. I was uncomfortable discussing this with Jazz and Em in the car.

We finally made it to the house. Em jumped down and pulled Rose out, flipping her over his shoulder to carry her inside the house. Alice just rolled her eyes at her brother's display, stomping up to the door after them. We went to the kitchen, grabbing a couple bottles of water out of the fridge before making our way upstairs. She paused outside her door, smiling tentatively at me.

"Go on, Alice, I can make my way to my room by myself," I said smiling. Alice hugged me goodnight, Jazz giving me a quick wink before the door closed and the giggling started. I chuckled at them and started walking up the stairs to the third floor, trying to be quiet as possible so I didn't wake Carlisle or Esme. _I wonder if Dr. Cullen sleeps in the nude?_ I stopped that thought quickly. I had other things to think about, like what the hell Edward was planning. I knew it bothered him that I wasn't like most of the girls that followed him around. I doubted any other girl apart from Alice and Rose had spoken to him like I had. I was tired, so I decided to just leave it for tonight, resolving to play whatever game he wanted to play better than him.

I paused at the entrance to the spare bedroom, glancing quickly at the door opposite me and breathing a sigh of relief at the sign of darkness from within. I stepped inside my appointed room, flipping the light on to seek out my bags. I spotted them placed neatly on the chaise by the large window. I really did love this room. I took out my pajamas, making my way to the adjoining bathroom to brush my teeth and change. Once finished, I draped my clothes over the back of the chaise and flipped off the light, crawling into bed. I pushed my face into the plush of the pillow, breathing in the comforting smell and drifting off to sleep.

I became restless, my hair sticking to a light sheen of sweat at the base of my neck. I suddenly bolted upright and reached for the lamp on the bedside table next to me. I was panting heavily, my body tangled in my sheets. Everything had been too green, too warm, too suffocating.

That was the first night I dreamed of Edward Cullen.

* * *

**So, there we have Chapter 5. I have a feeling things are about to get all kinds of frustrating with these two. ;) **

**Thank you for reading.**


	6. Chapter 6

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**Also, big thank you to my wonderful beta SusanQ. She is a star!**

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Edward

The bathroom filled with steam, creating a hazy fog throughout the large space. I tilted my head back against the slippery tiles, letting the hot water cascade down my tired body. The week had been exhausting, my routine completely broken all because of my intentional avoidance of Isabella Swan. Ever since Monday, I had been avoiding her like the plague. She had been filtering her way into my life without my consent and I had to put a stop to it.

When I walked into the kitchen yesterday morning, I found all of my family talking about the party. I thought it would be best if I stayed and at least pretended I was listening, but then _she_ walked in. I ignored her for the most part. I leaned back against the counter while we were left alone, and apart from that damn current that occurred whenever she was near, I was pretty successful. That was until Alice returned and mentioned that dick, Black. I involuntarily clenched my fists, keeping my jaw tight in order not to say anything—and from the feel of her gaze on me I was sure she was just waiting for me to do so. I stormed to my room, grabbed my things before leaving out my balcony door to go pick up Ben.

I'd pulled into my parking space—flashing a crowd of girls a smile—before going over to speak with Em. He was was being crude as usual with his suggestions to what I should do to them. _Typical_. I stopped our chat when I noticed Bella and Alice setting up Ben and Angela. I'd smiled. _Thank god he was finally doing something about that shit_.

Most of my morning classes were the same boring rubbish. Seriously, I could have done a better job teaching the students something actually worthwhile than the majority of those teachers could.

James had questioned me some more about Bella. He had been doing it every day this week and every single time I refused to tell him anything. I couldn't figure out whether he was doing it to actually get to know her, or if he somehow thought it would bother me—which made absolutely no sense at all. Each time he talked to her in the cafeteria, he would smirk over at me. He was a strange asshole.

When lunch finally rolled around, I went to the front of the line like I usually did. It was just really fucking bad luck on my part that Bella happened to be there first in line. She was her usual snarky self and even suggested that I dazzled people. I found that amusing and asked her if I dazzled her, to which she replied that I didn't. I hardened my gaze, pissed at myself that I had broken my resolve not to talk to her. I sat at the table I had been sitting at all week, with Jessica trying to stroke my leg under the table the entire time. I had made sure not to pay much attention to where my family sat, but when I noticed James sitting there, I couldn't help but watch them. Things seemed pretty tense. Bella was shoving fry after fry into her mouth while everyone else just sat there staring at nothing. Conversation soon started up... well I say conversation. From the looks Jazz and Em were spearing at James' head, I took it he was being his typical dickhead self. After all, his favourite pastime was riling people up. My eyes caught Bella's: hers were wide and slightly panicked and I once again found that I couldn't deviate my stare. Thankfully she turned away after a moment, standing with James who shot his usual smirk at me. I didn't retaliate by doing anything back, as I didn't know what he was up to. I would need to find out soon to alleviate that problem.

Lauren had sauntered her way over to me, whispering in my ear about wanting me to join her for a little before-class fun. She was practically pawing at me the entire way to the girls' bathroom that was located on the second floor. We knew from experience that this was the quietest one around at this time. I was a little fucking shocked to see James towering over Bella against the lockers next to where I was headed. I really didn't think she would be interested in him. I couldn't see her face, but she didn't look uncomfortable with his attention. I shot James a disgusted look, which was pretty pointless as he wasn't even looking at me. How could he_ like_ her?

As Lauren started servicing me with her hand—watching how she enjoyed doing so—I became even more perplexed by my pain in the ass neighbour. She acted with ease around James, and obviously had something going with Jacob Black. Yet, whenever she came within proximity of me, you could see the hostility rolling off of her in thick, crashing waves. _She honestly doesn't like me_, I thought to myself. It's not that anyone hasn't ever disliked me before—and quite frankly I'd never really cared much about people's opinions of me—but her attitude towards me angered me beyond belief, and I had no idea why.

Once I had gotten off, I made my way to Biology. I just wanted some quiet time by myself, but of course, _she _was already fucking sitting there. I slid onto my stool, my eyes glancing at the book in her hands. W_hat was she reading_? I snatched the book from her small palm, ignoring her shouts and attempts at retrieving it. I raised the book above my head, putting it even further from her reach, questioning her on her choice of book. I had never understood the draw to that story. I thought all the characters were hateful, but of course she called me out on that, too, asking how I could criticize _her_ taste when I had just been getting off in a bathroom with _Lauren_. I suppose she had a slight point—didn't mean I wanted to fucking hear it, though. Plus, she was probably just jealous that she wasn't getting any action from anyone herself.

I ignored her for the rest of the lesson, until Mr. Banner paired us up for our after school project. _Fuck my life_. I couldn't handle sitting in a room full of students with her without wanting to yank my hair out, so being alone with her would be hell. Complete and utter fucking hell.

Neither of us had moved after the bell had signaled the end of class, both most likely trying to figure a way to get out of this. Mr. Banner had obviously noticed our predicament. He came over and gave us some shitty lecture and even brought up my attempt at switching partners earlier that week. I chanced a glance at her when he said that. I knew she had arrived while I had been talking to Banner last week, but I didn't know how long she had been standing there and exactly how much she had heard. She didn't seem surprised or upset by the news, so I was pretty sure she already knew.

We mutually decided to just suck it up and get on with it. We walked through the empty halls together out to the parking lot.

A sigh escaped my lips when I had gotten away from her. I slouched in my car seat waiting for Ben to stop making goo-goo eyes at Weber. He eventually got into the car after another few minutes with a genuine smile etched on his face that I hadn't seen in a very long time. He talked a little about his day, which was really fucking unusual as we never really did that, but I listened to him nevertheless. The boy was smitten.

Once I had pulled up outside Ben's house, he told me that his car was coming out of the garage the next day. He wouldn't need a lift on Monday, but we arranged to hang out later. I waved him off and drove home. I removed my tie from around my neck as soon as I had passed through the door, and shut myself off in the music room. I worked a little more on the song that had been drifting through my head for the past week or so, writing down notes as I went. Jazz came in and chatted for a while, asking me if I was going to the party later that night. I told him I wasn't sure yet, but that I might see him there.

I was in my room when I heard Em's Jeep pull away from the house, the tires crunching heavily on the gravel. I stepped out on the balcony for a smoke, glancing at my watch to check the time. It was still pretty early so I took my time getting changed out of my school clothes, dumping them in my hamper to be washed.

Ben and I hung out, played a bit on his X-box 360 and watched a few movies before I decided to go to La Push for a while. Ben didn't want to come, as he most likely wanted to go wank off to thoughts of the minister's daughter. He hadn't talked that much about Angela while I had been over, but I could tell by the glint in his eye that he was constantly thinking of her.

The drive to La Push didn't take long, and before I knew it I was parked at the end of a long line of cars and was stepping out onto the beach. My eyes were instinctively drawn to two figures sitting on one of the log benches surrounding the fire, both of them laughing and seemingly enjoying each other's company. Jacob got up to leave and Bella was immediately pounced on by Newton, him falling on his ass in the process. I laughed at him, walking over to where the drinks were. I momentarily paused—fucking Black was standing there, two drinks in his hands, one quite obviously for the shrew. He caught my eye, both of us glaring at one another. I felt my hands clench at my sided and could see his were holding his drinks pretty tightly, too. I wanted to give him another little warning about shooting his mouth off about me, but his attention broke to where Bella was standing with Newton. I could see the conflict in his eyes, but he chose to go save Bella from her lap dog. _Pussy_. He walked up behind her, obviously staking some sort of claim by wrapping his arms around her waist. I was surprised he didn't cock his leg and piss on her.

I made my way along the beach looking for Em or Jazz, but couldn't spot them anywhere. Lauren caught my eye, giving me a seductive look which I just brushed off; I wasn't in the mood. I decided to walk for a little while and go back and see if I could find the others later. Em's Jeep was still parked there, so I knew they hadn't left. Plus, I knew for a fact they wouldn't leave Bella alone, even if it was with a supposed old friend.

I had been perched on a broken log at the edge of the surrounding forest when I heard my name being called. My head snapped in the direction of the noise and I saw Jessica glancing through the trees at the opposite end to where I was sitting. She was obviously looking for me, so I shot up and hid. Yes, I fucking hid. I really didn't want to deal with her, as I knew she would be all over me if she found me. My eyes were trained in Jessica's direction, so when I heard footsteps coming from the opposite side, I froze. Who the hell was there now?

Of course, it had to have been _her_. She started whispering for Alice for some fucking reason. I couldn't have her drawing attention to herself, or me for that matter, so I placed my hand across her mouth to halt her speech. Her body froze, most likely due to fear. My hand started to tingle with her muffled screams. I hadn't meant to scare her, so I whispered in her ear to let her know it was only me.

Jessica's voice came again so I hid us further from sight, pressing forward until Bella's back rested on the tree behind her. Her hips started to push into mine, obviously uncomfortable with the situation. I turned to face her, glaring at her to stop her fidgeting. I could hear Jessica mumbling something, but I wasn't listening now. Bella held me captive once again; I hated the way she was able to do that. I pressed my face into her neck, not wanting to look at her anymore.

When she bit me, it was instinctual to bite her back. I knew she did it to make me shout out and give my position away, but I wasn't about to go and do that. Her scent and taste was so potent it fucking stunned me a little. _Strawberries. I_t was everywhere. I ran my lips and tongue over where my teeth had just been prior, feeling somewhat guilty for leaving a mark.

Her hands pushed me away, asking me what the hell I thought I was doing. I smirked, telling her I was only having a little taste which made her even more angry. I trailed my fingers down her throat and collarbone, watching as her skin broke out in goose bumps. She said it was because she was cold, but I didn't believe that for second. I told her if I wanted her I could have her; that she wouldn't be able to resist me. She, of course disputed my statement, which gave me a little idea. I could see her becoming nervous at my train of thought, shouting once again, her temper only amusing me.

Her resolve was fierce, telling me that she'd never fall for me. She had been playing games with me since we met, and now she was wavering slightly. As she went to go, I stopped her, informing her that I had never lost before. I watched her leave—she never looked back.

OoOoO

I stepped out the shower, running the towel hastily through my hair before wrapping it around my waist. My hand rubbed a circle in the mirror, wiping away the condensation caused by the steam. I ran my fingers through my hair a couple of times before grabbing my toothbrush and letting the minty sensation of my toothpaste run through my mouth.

I walked back into my room, pulling on my black boxers that I had left out on my bed. I grabbed a pair of black sweats and a plain white T-shirt from my closet before going over to my dresser to swipe a pair of socks. Once dressed, I opened my door, pausing to look at the room opposite mine. I had a feeling that Bella probably slept over, which meant I could just take a peek... maybe tease her a little. But I thought better of it. I still couldn't stand the girl, and an argument first thing in the morning didn't actually seem that pleasant, so I left for the kitchen.

I paused in the doorway at the sight before me. Bella was alone in the kitchen, bent over, rummaging in the refrigerator for something. She was wearing a white tank top and gray sweats, the curves of her ass on full display. I smiled. _This was too good an opportunity to pass up_. I silently walked towards her, pressing my body fully into hers as I reached forward to get the juice off the shelf. Her body was warm, but she tensed as she rose, bringing her back flush with my chest. I bent my head, nuzzling the skin by her ear slightly with my cheek.

"Morning, Bella, I trust you slept well?" I breathed, smirking as she softly cleared her throat.

Her body twisted itself around until she was facing me. Her cheeks were slightly flushed, her right eyebrow was raised in question. "Hmm..." she murmured to herself as her eyes perused my chest. "I would have thought the feel of your body would have been a lot more impressive, what with the amount of girls that flock to you. But I have to say, it's nothing compared to the feeling of Jake when he wraps his arms around me." She smiled at me, all sweet and innocent-looking, grabbing the juice out of my hands before pushing me away from her. I glared after her retreating form. _That look was anything but fucking sweet_.

I clenched my jaw, trying to ignore her attempts at goading me by mentioning Jacob. She obviously knew I didn't like him and was using that against me. Also, I still wanted to know exactly what had been said about me between the two of them.

"That wasn't anything, Bella. If you want to feel the full expanse of my body wrapped around yours, all you have to do is ask. You _know_ you want to," I replied, stalking towards her again, my eyes locked on hers the entire way. She just stood there, watching me calmly, seemingly not effected by my words.

I halted in front of her, grinning crookedly into chocolate brown eyes. "Edward, there are so many things wrong with that statement, I don't even know where to begin," she sighed. "In fact, it makes me sick to even talk about it."

"Who said anything about talking?" I whispered, scrutinizing her face. Her cheeks were still flushed and I had an overwhelming urge to put my fingers on her skin to feel the warmth I knew would be there.

"I know what you're trying to do, Edward, and it won't work. So you may as well just give up now," she murmured, watching me carefully.

"If you say so, Bella," I smirked. We just continued to inspect each other, each waiting for the other to make the next move.

"I'm going to go see if Alice is awake now." She dropped her gaze, her scent hitting me strongly as she passed. I fisted my hair in my hands, groaning in irritation. I couldn't let her win this, she wouldn't be allowed to be any different from anyone else. I would just continue to lightly tease her and break down her resolve. Then the frustration I felt when she was near would lessen when I won whatever the fuck it was between us. Some part inside of me knew this was completely irrational, but I just couldn't explain it. I wasn't used to not having things how I wanted them and she had disrupted that for me. I had to do something about it, hence this new game.

The sound of heavy footsteps descending the stairs immediately tuned me in to who it was. _Emmett_.

"What the fuck are you wearing, Em?" I laughed. He had on a white polo shirt covered by a pink argyle sweater and white trousers. Not to mention the pink and white shoes and cap.

"What do you think I'm dressed like this for? We're going golfing," he replied with an infectious smile on his face. "So hurry up and get changed."

I stared at him in disbelief. "I am not fucking dressing like that Em, no fucking way," I said seriously. He looked all kinds of ridiculous.

"Pft, you're just jealous you can't pull this shit off. I am looking mighty fine." As soon as the words left his mouth, I couldn't help but smirk.

I considered not going for a minute, but since I didn't have any other plans I thought, why the hell not?

I took another look at what he was wearing. "Only you, Em, I swear," I laughed. I patted his shoulder when passing him and ran up the stairs to get changed.

We arrived at the country club. I was decked out in a simple navy polo shirt and jeans, and Jazz was in khaki shorts and a white polo shirt. Em had his cap on backwards, checking out his competition in the style stakes.

He pointed to a group of middle-aged men at the front desk. "They've got nothing on me," he sniffed, sauntering towards them.

An attractive young woman was manning the desk. She glanced our way momentarily before going back to entering something into the computer in front of her. Esme and Carlisle rarely came here, but a lot of their work colleagues did, so I'm sure our faces were recognizable.

I leaned sideways on the desk, staring around the marble-floored room, taking everything in. There were side tables filled with all different varieties of flowers and pictures of patrons donning the walls. The staff were all dressed in beige trousers and dark blue blazers, attending to everyone's needs in a calm manner. The whole place was pretentious and stuffy and I couldn't wait to get out of there.

While Em was talking to the woman manning the desk, I caught her brazenly staring at me. I gave her a wink, noticing she didn't blush or look away. She obviously did this often. It wouldn't surprise me if she was fucking half of the husbands here—couldn't blame them really. I took a glance at her name-tag; _Gianna._ I'd remember that for another time.

A member of staff soon ushered us off to rent some clubs. I had no fucking clue how to play golf. I was just going to hit and hope, or putt and hope. Whatever. Em spotted a golf cart and I jumped in the driver's side immediately; I'd always wanted to have a go in one of these things.

"Where the fuck do we start?" I asked, having no idea where I was going.

"Over there to the left," Jazz said, motioning with his finger to the first hole.

I parked just off the little road and jumped out, heaving my bag of clubs from the back.

"Right, so how about we make a bet? Whoever comes in last, buys everyone lunch at Newton's afterwards," Em suggested, rubbing his hands eagerly. Jazz and I agreed, but then I realized what he'd said.

"When you say everyone..." I asked, trailing off, flipping my hand for him to explain.

"Us and the girls. Rose sent me a text on the way here saying they were doing some girlie stuff then wanted to meet us later. That's alright, isn't it?" Em queried, cocking an eyebrow.

I held back a smile. "Yeah, that's fine."

"Right, so who wants to tee-off first?" he asked. I looked at Jazz who took a club out his bag and placed his ball on the peg.

"Watch and learn, boys," he said. He swung his arms back, twisting his torso before making contact and driving the ball through the air. I followed it the best I could, squinting my eyes into the distance. It landed somewhere in the middle of the green, and from the bow he took, I guessed that was good.

Em whistled. "Nice shot, Jazz. E, you're up next. Let's go," he said impatiently, obviously wanting his turn.

I looked at the clubs in front of me. "Er, which one do I use?" I asked unsure. I pulled out the longest one there, deciding that would be good enough.

"The one in your hand is called a driver, which is the usual choice, or you could use the wood, which is this one," Jazz said, holding out another club.

"No, this one's fine. Anyway, how the hell do you know so much about this shit?" I asked curiously, grabbing my white golf ball.

"My dad used to take me when I was younger, taught me a few things," he replied, shrugging his shoulders. I just nodded, not responding any further as I knew since the divorce he hardly saw his father. I didn't want to make things awkward for him by talking any more about it.

I lined my club up with the ball, swinging back and hitting the ball with force. It shot forward, whizzing through the air with speed. It eventually landed about halfway between us and the flag, landing a little further than Jazz's attempt. I could hear him mumble and Em laugh.

"That's good I take it?" I grinned, knowing it must be. Jazz rolled his eyes, nodding his head.

"Yeah, must be beginner's luck," he smirked.

"You wish! I can't help it if I'm good at everything," I laughed, earning a jab on the arm from Em.

"Move your ass out the way, Wardo, it's my turn." I watched Em place his ball down, laughing as he started wiggling his ass. He swung his club back and aimed at the ball—except he didn't actually hit the ball. A giant clump of turf flew from the ground, leaving a massive hole in its wake.

Jazz and I looked at each other open-mouthed before we both fell against each other in hysterics.

"What the _fuck,_ Em? You're supposed to hit the _ball!_" I wheezed out, trying to catch my breath.

"Shut up! I got distracted," Em grumbled, taking another swing. He managed to hit it this time, only it ended up in the bunker, causing a string of profanities to pour out of his mouth.

Jazz made his first hole in 6 putts, mine in 7 and Em... well he was still trying.

"Come on, dude. Patience. Breathe," Jazz voiced, encouraging Emmett to make his shot.

He rolled his sleeves up to his elbows, and rolled his neck in a circular motion to loosen up. "Right, this one's going in," he said, his tongue sneaking out of his mouth in concentration.

His ball was only about half a meter away—it was literally impossible to miss. He took the shot, the ball rolled along in what felt like slow motion before finally going in.

"Woo hoo, about fucking time!" he cheered, running around with his club in between his legs, smacking the air behind him as if he was riding a damn horse.

He caught the attention of the snooty assholes that had been waiting for us to move on, both of them looking on with distaste.

We ended up playing for the next couple of hours, Em creating more potholes with each hole we came to. The dickheads behind us were still moaning the entire time. I told them to move the fuck on more than once, but I'm pretty sure they stayed put on purpose. I took a good look at them. They must only have been early twenties. One of them looked slightly familiar, but I couldn't think where I would have seen him before.

"E, it's your shot. You make this in one, and you win," Em mumbled, still sulking at his inability to be good at all sports.

"Say bye-bye, Jazzy boy," I said. We were on the last hole now, and I wasn't about to lose.

I tapped the ball gently; it curved to the right before dropping in the hole. "And _that's_ how it's done," I said, grinning smugly at Jazz.

"God, how are you so good at everything?" he responded, shoving my arm playfully.

"I don't know, ask the ladies," I quipped, earning a guffaw and high five from Em.

I could hear mumbling coming from behind us again. I turned around giving them both a 'don't-fuck-with-me' face. They were really beginning to piss me off.

"Ignore them, E. Don't let them get to you," Em whispered, trying to calm me down.

"That's a lot easier said than done. They've been doing it for fucking hours now. One more snide comment and I swear..." Jazz put his arm around my shoulders, directing my gaze to Emmett who was about to take his last shot.

"I wonder how long he's going to take _this_ time?" one of the assholes said. I tensed up, about ready to go beat his ass, but Em beat me to it.

He went to the other side of the ball and whacked it, hitting the guy straight in the stomach.

"Now I'd call that a direct hit, motherfucker!" he shouted, watching the guy turn bright red in the face.

All of a sudden, I was being dragged by my arm. Shouts of, "Shit! Run!" surrounding me.

"Why the fuck are we running?" I laughed, not understanding in the slightest. But then a ball whizzed past my head. Oh, _that's_ why.

Em jumped in the driver's side of the cart, and Jazz and I climbed into the back.

"Go, go, go!" Jazz screamed, causing me to laugh even harder.

I turned my head to see them following behind us in their own buggy.

"I can't believe they're following us," I said, shaking my head in disbelief.

"Shit, no way! I'll lose them now," Em stated, driving across the fucking green, ruining the course.

"Em, what the hell are you doing? Stay on the road!" Jazz shouted, but the contrasting huge smile on his face showed he actually didn't give a shit.

We got to the main entrance, the two of them not far behind us. "Right, we'll split up. Everyone meet back at the Jeep in five minutes," Em said before jumping out and running around the side of the building.

Jazz and I both ran through the main doors. He ran up a flight of stairs and I went in a door by the main reception desk. I closed the door behind me and looked around. I was in a damn supply closet.

"Have you been a bad boy?" My eyes widened—someone else was in here with me.

I turned towards the voice, my gaze landing upon the woman from behind the desk earlier. I looked her up and down. _If you're going to be the one giving out the punishment then I have definitely been a bad boy_.

"What makes you say that?" I asked, leaning sideways against the shelving.

She stalked towards me. "Well, you wouldn't exactly be hiding in a supply closet if you hadn't now, would you?"

I smirked at her as she ran her hand up my arm. Her hand grabbed the back of my neck, trying to draw her face closer. "Was it a punishable offense?" she whispered, staring at my mouth.

I was just about to reply when my phone started ringing. JT's "Sexy Back" echoed through the small space. _Who the hell was that_? I checked the screen, _fucking Emmett! _When had he gotten a hold of my phone?

"I have to go," I said regretfully, removing her hand from the back of my neck.

She sighed, "Another time then?"

My face broke out into my crooked smile. "Most definitely," I answered.

I slipped from the room, heading for the Jeep. Em and Jazz were already inside, both of them roaring with laughter.

"Em, I have to tell you that you have really bad fucking timing," I said as I jumped in the back.

"What are you talking about?" he asked smiling.

"Nothing... it's just... it doesn't matter," I said shaking my head. "Let's just get out of here."

"Well, it's been some day, huh?" Jazz voiced seriously, causing us all to start laughing again.

"Man, that guy's face when I hit him with the ball? Too damn funny!" Em chuckled.

We joked all the way to Newton's. Jazz explained that he ended up in the womens' bathroom at one point before some old lady came out of one of the stalls berating him, trying to hit him with her handbag, calling him a "little pervert."

Em parked next to Alice's Porsche, cutting the engine abruptly. We all got out, making our way into the diner. Jazz spotted the girls at the counter, where Mike was talking to Bella.

We walked up behind them, Jazz and Em immediately putting their arms around Alice and Rose's waists, causing a squeak to escape their mouths in surprise. Mike walked away, going to take someone's order by the looks of things.

"Want do _you_ want, Edward?" Bella sighed, aware of my presence.

I placed both arms either side of her on the counter. "You, obviously," I whispered into her ear.

She spun around to face me. "Well, that's too bad," she whispered back, tapping my arm to release her from the cage I'd created around her with my arms.

"You guys ready to eat? I'm buying," Em said, looking at all of us.

"So, did you boys have fun today?" Alice asked, smiling at us.

"We most certainly did," Jazz laughed, giving Alice a mischievous smile. "So, what did you girls get up to?" he asked as we slid into a booth, Bella ending up opposite me.

"We got manicures," Bella grumbled, inspecting her nails.

"Aww my little SVB. You didn't like it?" Em asked, rubbing her shoulder.

"Er... that would be a _no_. I had this bimbo doing my nails, popping pink bubble gum in my face every five seconds," Bella responded, her face scrunching up in disgust.

"You should have seen her, Em," Rose giggled. "I thought Bella was going to cause bodily harm."

"Well, she wouldn't have been the only one today," I whispered, causing Jazz to snigger beside me.

"What was that?" Alice asked, leaning around Jazz to look at me. I swear my sister never missed a thing. Em was shaking his head, signaling for me not to say anything.

"I asked if that was the only thing you got up to today," I said. With all the damage that we'd done to the course, I thought it best to keep it just between the three of us. Plus, Rose would have Em's balls if she found out.

"Oh, okay. We also went shopping for bikinis afterwards!" Alice voiced excitedly. "We realized Bella has yet to go in our pool, so we just had to pick some up!"

"Yeah... _had_ to," Bella murmured, rolling her eyes at Alice, but smiling nonetheless.

Mike came over then, standing as close to Bella as possible. "So what will it be, guys?" he asked, pulling out his notepad and pen from his pocket.

We all rattled off our orders. I only ordered a coke since I wasn't hungry. Mike left soon after, giving the slip to Lauren behind the counter.

"Aren't you hungry, man?" Em asked, raising an eyebrow.

I turned to face Bella, finding her looking across the table at me. "Oh, I'm _hungry_... just not for food." I smirked, causing Bella to look away, her cheeks flushing a delicate shade of pink. Whether it was from embarrassment or anger, I didn't know, but either way, it was fun to watch.

Rose eyed me for a minute before going back to her conversation with Emmett. Bella received a text message; her face beamed while reading it.

"Who's that, your little boyfriend?" I said agitated, watching her smile fall from her face.

"First, I have no idea who you mean, and second, no. It's my mom. She just bought a new cell phone and figured out how to text, so she's all excited," Bella responded, scowling at me slightly.

Mike interrupted us then to bring us our food, saving Bella's for last.

"Thank you, Mike," she said sweetly. She laid her hand momentarily on his, while half smiling in my direction. I glared at her hand placed on top of his, and glanced back to her. Her eyes were fucking shining! _So now she wants to play?_

She brought her burger up to her mouth, releasing a moan that went straight to my cock. I shifted in my seat, letting my tongue snake out of my mouth to wet my lips before taking a sip of my drink. Her gaze briefly flickered to my mouth before coming back up to meet my stare once again. I winked at her; her eyes flashed in what was most likely anger before an angelic smile broke out on her face. _She was up to no good._

For what felt like hours, I sat there opposite her, watching her lick her lips suggestively after every bite of her food. She didn't take her eyes from mine the entire time, playing me at my own game. I smirked at her, almost enjoying her little show, but the girl didn't know who she was messing with.

Leaning forward, I captured a bit of ketchup from the corner of her mouth with my finger. I wiped it along the entire length of her bottom lip before she could lick it away. I then brought it to my mouth, letting out a moan that caused her eyelids to minutely flutter.

Careful not to break her gaze, I whispered against her cheek, "Now, imagine if I had just done that with my tongue."

She gulped, whispering harshly, "If you did that, then I would end up vomiting my food back up—which I really don't want to do. These burgers are _delicious_." She brought it up to her mouth once again, letting out another fucking groan before her small hand pressed itself firmly into my face, pushing head back away from her.

I clenched my jaw in irritation, scowling over at her. "Yeah, keep telling yourself that, Bella. We both know if we weren't in this diner right now, you would be _begging_ me to do it," I replied confidently.

"Whatever helps you sleep at night, Edward. Oh wait, we already know what you have in your bed at night, don't we? In fact, one of them is glaring at me right now. Wave, Cullen," she said, a look of disgust overtaking her features. I turned to see who she was referring to and realized she meant Lauren. As–Fucking–If. None of those girls had ever entered my house, let alone my bed. Contrary to popular belief, I didn't sleep around as much as people thought. I just gave girls the pleasures of my charms. The more you slept with them, the more needy they became. I was definitely not about to get tied down with a girlfriend, so I limited that action.

"It sounds like you're jealous to me," I smirked, swirling the ice in my glass.

"Yeah right. I would actually have to _like_ you in order to get jealous. We both know that's never going to fucking happen, so..." She put her straw in her mouth, taking a pull of her drink.

I watched her closely, trying to read her face. That girl completely frustrated me, she never did what I expected. I rose from my seat, leaving to go outside and have a smoke. I pushed open the door, lighting a cigarette before pausing to look through the glass doors at the brown-eyed girl who sat staring at my now empty space.

One thing became clear; if I wanted to win this, I would have to up my game.

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**What did you think? xoxo**


	7. Chapter 7

**Hello again everyone! Thanks to my awesome beta SusanQ who fixes all my mistakes in record time, she is my own personal miracle worker.**

**Thanks to all who are reading and reviewing, and to everyone on my alerts - please don't hide - come forth and review, I'm not scary... at least I don't think I am. ;)**

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Bella

I stared out the first floor window, watching rivulets of rain water trickle down the glass and turn the area beyond into a blurry mass of colours. I absently brought my pen to my mouth, softly flicking the end against my lips, my mind filled with thoughts of the weekend. Yesterday I had spent a rare day at home with Charlie. I'd gone grocery shopping mid-morning and stocked up for the next few weeks. I did loads of laundry in between watching football games. Well, I say watched - Charlie watched - I read Pride and Prejudice. I cooked and we ate together, rattling off random bits of our week. It was nice.

Saturday morning was another matter entirely. When Edward found me in the kitchen and pressed himself against me, I felt a fiery sensation jolt through me, licking its way up my spine. I had put it down to the fact I was standing in front of an open refrigerator - of course he would feel warm against the cool air. But if I was being honest with myself, I think it was most likely residual effects from my unwanted dream that morning. It had unnerved me greatly.

When he had warned me that he was going to pursue me just to prove a point, I partly thought he was joking - just trying to scare me. But after his actions Saturday, I was sure he was absolutely serious. I felt myself smiling. _Good luck with that Cullen_.

"Bella?" I felt a hand gently shaking my arm and turned to see Angela looking at me, concern evident in her features.

"Yeah?" I replied a little dazed, wondering what was wrong.

"I've been shaking you for like...two minutes now. Are you okay?" she asked softly.

I let out a small chuckle, "Yeah sorry, I'm fine. I guess I was away with the fairies there for a minute." I stood slowly, gathered my books and walked out of class, trying to dodge getting crushed in the far too-narrow corridors by over-zealous students trying to get to their next lesson on time. _What the hell were they always so eager about? We're in school dammit!_

We stopped outside my biology class. Angela hesitated, looking a little apprehensive about something.

"Um...Bella, are you busy this weekend? It's completely fine if you are. It's just that...well, me and Ben were thinking of going to the movies, and I know my parents would be a lot more accepting of me going if I had a friend with me...well, one that was female anyway."

I smiled at her softly. "I'm not busy, but are you sure you absolutely want me there? I mean, won't I be sort of...getting in the way?" I asked, watching her head shake in the negative.

"Not at all. I would feel less nervous if you came. I know we have yet to fully get to know each other, but I feel at ease with you...that sounds stupid doesn't it?" she replied, a soft hue tinting her skin.

"No, that's why I asked to sit with you that second day. I felt comfortable and less like a circus freak," I laughed. I tore a scrap of paper from my notebook, scribbling down my phone number.

"Here, phone me when you've decided on a time and I will meet you there, or at your house. Whichever, okay?" I said, holding out the note.

"Thanks, I will." She tucked my number safely in her pocket, her demeanor less tense. "I doubt I'll see you before class tomorrow, so have fun in biology." I grimaced, causing her to chuckle quietly. _There was no way I would be having fun considering who I was seated next to. _I waved her off and turned to walk into class.

"Were you waiting out here for me Bella, _hmm_?" I could hear the teasing tone in his voice and was so not in the mood for any of his shit today.

"Yeah, you caught me," I said, rolling my eyes in annoyance. "I couldn't bear the thought of going into the lesson without you." I twisted around to see his face, backing up when I realized he was a lot closer than I had originally thought.

His hand left his pocket, grabbing my hip to bring me back. "Do you know that you always smell like strawberries? It's quite maddening," he whispered, his breath hitting my face.

"Do you know what else is maddening?" I asked, prying his hand from my hip, ignoring the electric current that traveled through me from his touch. He wouldn't answer me, he just stood there waiting for me to continue. "_You_. Now get the hell off me!" I seethed, watching how his eyes minutely narrowed in anger.

I suddenly became aware we were still standing in the open doorway. I could see Jessica scowling at me from her seat, both hands grasping a pencil with so much force I'm surprised it hadn't snapped. He must have realized this too, as I was pulled out of sight and pressed against the wall.

"Do you remember the last time you felt this Bella? The last time you felt my heat against you?" he asked, his crooked smile appearing on his mouth.

"No. I do a good job at blocking nauseating things from my memory," I replied, not ignorant of the fact that his fingers were tracing the inside of my left wrist.

"This," he said, holding my arm up and pressing my pulse point,"says otherwise." He coolly walked into class, leaving me glaring after him. I kicked the wall behind me with the flat of my shoe, wanting to scream out in irritation.

I took a few deep breaths to calm myself and stepped into the room. As I made my way down the aisle of desks, I could see that Jessica was strolling in my direction with a look of pure hatred on her flamed face. Just as we got to each other she jutted out her hip with so much force that she sent me flying into none other than Mike Newton's lap. He had his hands on the top of my bare thighs just below my skirt before I even had time to blink. I sat there dazed and silently seething when I felt something hard poking my ass; that was definitely not a fucking Mars bar in his pocket. I shot up as if I'd been burned and looked down at his very prominent erection making a tent in his trousers. He quickly placed his textbook in his lap to try and hide himself, but it was far too late - _that_ was something I'd be having nightmares about for months. _Attack of the Newton Nudger_. I shivered.

I swiftly bolted to my seat, noticing Edward's face was strained, but not in anger as it usually was. In fact, it looked as if he was trying not to laugh. Just as I'd finished my thought, he creased up. I had never seen Edward laugh before; well never like _this_ anyway. His eyes met mine, all sparkling jewels and crinkled edges. His cheeks were pink and the most genuine smile he had ever given me graced his face. It was kind of breathtaking; he had never looked more attractive. I didn't say anything back to him, no sarcastic or snarky remark, nothing. Even I didn't have it in me to ruin that sight.

Mr. Banner called the lesson to order, breaking off all separate conversations. No one seemed to have really witnessed my spill, but I could see Jessica grinning evilly at me, flipping her hair over her shoulder as she faced the front of the class once more.

Ten minutes left until lunch, we were told to start discussing our after-school projects. I tentatively twisted my body on my stool until I was sat fully facing Edward - he had done the same. I looked at him expectantly, raising my eyebrow while waiting for him to speak. He just smirked at me, waiting for me to do the same. I started swinging my legs back and forth, gazing at the floor. After a few minutes of still no talking from either of us, I took a quick glance at him only to find his eyes on my legs. They were gradually moving up, inch by inch. Realization suddenly dawned on me that I was wearing a skirt and my legs were practically open to him. I immediately stopped the swinging and snapped my legs shut, hoping like hell he hadn't seen anything. My hands ran nervously through my hair, just knowing my face was resembling a tomato. I didn't dare look at him yet, so I waited until my slight mortification had worn off before speaking.

"So, how shall we do this? Do you want to come over to mine or shall I come over to yours?" I asked, suddenly finding my shoes fascinating.

"Well...I think considering I have yet to see your house..._or bedroom_ for that matter, your house sounds perfect." I lifted my head to glare at his cocky response, suddenly wishing I hadn't given that reprieve earlier and had wiped his expression off his perfect face.

"My house is fine. Charlie usually works late so it will be quieter. But let's make this clear, under no circumstances will you be stepping foot into my bedroom - so get that idea out of your head right away," I said seriously, watching his eyes twinkle.

"We'll see," he retorted.

"Ugh, you're hopeless," I huffed, putting my books away in my bag. "Is Wednesday good for you?"

"Hmm, I'll have to check my schedule. I may be busy," he responded, putting his own things away.

"Yeah, well, you do that and get back to me," I mumbled. "Oh, and try and make it by the end of the day. You may not want to take this project seriously, but I do."

The bell rang, indicating the end of class. I gave Edward one more pointed look before swinging my bag over my shoulder, ready to leave.

"Wait. Bella, before you go..." He paused beside me and whispered into my ear, "Blue is without a doubt your colour." And with that, he walked off.

I stood alone in the now vacant room, wondering what the hell he had been on about. Both our uniforms were mainly bl... _oh shit!_ I could feel the blood rushing to my cheeks for probably the hundredth time that day. _The fucker had most definitely seen more than just my legs!_

As I approached my locker, I noticed James there waiting for me looking as calm as ever. Laurent was there also, but he was distracted as usual. _Most probably trying to find the locker door that was most reflective_. Not that he'd be able to find one.

"Bella," James smiled, stepping to the side.

"Hi James," I said, opening my locker. I shoved my things inside, grabbed my money and put it in my jumper pocket.

"Sorry we didn't get to hang out at the party on Friday. I was going to come over, but you were otherwise engaged," he stated, his cold eyes sweeping my face.

"Yeah, I was with Jacob most of the night," I cleared my throat after thoughts of what happened later that evening cropped up.

"Jacob," he said mostly to himself. "Boyfriend?" he questioned. I shook my head.

"No, he's just an old friend," I answered, wondering why he wanted to know.

"He seemed very attentive to you," he voiced. I gave him a quizzical look. _Of course he did, he's my friend, dumb ass._

I just nodded my head and motioned with my body that I was leaving. Laurent was now busy on his phone, speaking in French and making loud kissing noises to whoever was on the other end. _My god he was random_.

"I'll see you in gym then Bella." I smiled in agreement at James and left for the cafeteria.

James had been questioning me about anything and everything lately. The "boyfriend" question just his latest attempt at drawing more information from me. Also, the looks he had been giving me were making me feel more and more uncomfortable around him. At first, I thought he was just sort of quiet and polite, but I started guessing that wasn't fully the case.

I pushed open the doors to the lunch room, groaning when I saw a _certain person_ had decided to grace us with his presence at the table. He caught my eye and smirked at me, knowing that this would piss me off. What was even worse, the only empty seat was between him and Alice. _Great_.

The line was taking forever – or it could have been that I was just in a bad mood – but I mentally grinned devilishly when I spotted something. _Bingo_.

I paid for my items, my mood soaring as I neared my friends. I didn't even hesitate to sit down next to the douche.

"Hey guys," I said, gripping my chair to pull it nearer to the table.

"Why is it you're always the last one here, slow coach?" Rose asked, cocking a perfectly sculpted eyebrow at me.

"My locker is on the second floor. I have farther to travel, I guess. Also, I usually have a visitor or two waiting for me when I get there," I shrugged, taking a peak at Edward, waiting for him to finish his conversation with Emmett so I could get my plan under way.

"James isn't still sniffing around you, is he Bells?" Jazz asked concerned.

"It's nothing I can't handle. He's just a little intense sometimes, you know?" I replied, unscrewing the lid off my bottle of lemonade and taking a big gulp. I could see that Edward's attention was on the rest of us now, obviously having finished whatever the hell it was he was talking about. With Em, it could have literally been anything.

I cleared my throat, for once trying to draw attention to myself. I grabbed my...well it was one of those plastic spork things - not a spoon and yet not quite a fork – and popped the lid on the container, releasing the so called "maddening" scent.

I speared the most luscious looking strawberry and shifted in my seat until I could clearly see Edward's face. He was staring sideways at the berry, elbows placed on the table with his fingers in his hair. To anyone else, it would just look like I was eating lunch, but from Edward's little confession earlier, I knew this would be getting to him. I wrapped my lips around the end and sunk my teeth into it's juicy flesh, collecting the sweetness with my tongue. It was all pretty innocent, no moaning or groaning or blatant staring, I was simply paying him back for the panty remark...amongst other things.

Who knew that a simple fruit salad would be such effective artillery in the 'let's-fuck-with-Cullen' campaign? Well, maybe I couldn't call it a campaign as I wouldn't get much help from anyone in this town. He had put some sort of spell on too many love-caves for me to get any female votes. It was more like a necessary hobby.

Everyone was caught up in their own conversations, so when my chair was suddenly being dragged nearer to Edward, I wanted to start waving a flag or something to alert them of this fact. But then I realized that was completely lame and unnecessary.

The feel of his cool hand making contact with my knee caused me to halt my movements, my mouth a few inches away from my food. My free hand grasped my lemonade bottle from supreme annoyance. If he didn't remove himself from me, I was going to stab him with my ineffective and pathetic-looking spork. I went to tell him as much, but the words wouldn't leave my mouth. The look he was giving me – his eyes dark and pupils dilated – caused me to shiver. For an instant I felt a genuine thrill of lust. It only lasted a second, but it had still been there.

He was so near. When his hand twitched - moving probably not even a centimeter in length - I knew I had to do something. I slowly moved my lemonade over to the ledge, never once breaking eye contact. As soon as my fingertips felt the edge I tilted the bottle slightly, just waiting for what I knew was about to happen. The sound of the fizzy liquid escaping its confinement alerted me to the fact that it must have met him by now. His grip on my leg marginally increased. _Yes, it had definitely made contact._

His eyes were still dark, but I could tell it was more anger-driven this time. "Oh! How clumsy of me. I'm so sorry, Edward," I expressed, moving the bottle back a safe distance. I took a quick glance down towards his lap and saw that the wet patch was located on his upper thigh.

I thought for sure that he would have jumped up, gone mad, maybe shouted at me a little, but he didn't do any of those things. He simply moved his hand further up my leg. _Well two can play at this game neighbour_. I grabbed my paper napkin off the table and brought it down to the wet spill on his pants. My hand patted it gently, soaking up some of the dampness off the black cotton. I didn't dare look down at what I was doing, as I'm sure I would have chickened out - that is never a good thing when going up against Edward Cullen.

When I felt his fingers graze the skin at the bottom of my skirt, I let my own hand advance upwards, giving him a taste of his own medicine. I met his eyes as I curled my hand to the inside of his thigh, but then something in his expression caused me to halt. _Why isn't he stopping me?_ And just as the tips of his fingers descended under the material of my skirt, I knew. _He wanted me to touch him, smart little fucker_.

I slid my palm across the back of his hand, pushing his arm away and bringing an end to his explorations. Just as I was going to remove my hand from him, he clutched my wrist and leaned forward, his face a few inches from mine but his focus was on the table in front of us, making it look as if he wasn't even talking to me.

"You're playing a dangerous game, Bella. One that I will ultimately win. Don't start things you can't finish," he whispered, standing up and taking the last strawberry with him as he left the room. _He even took my spork, asshole_.

"Bella? Bella?" I quickly gathered that someone was trying to get my attention, and when fingers started clicking in my face I knew I was right.

"Hmmm?" I turned to see Alice looking quizzically at me, her face pouted in concentration.

"What's with you today, Bella? You've been in a world of your own all day," she asked, swiping the last fry off Jazz's plate.

"Nothing, just tired. I didn't get much sleep last night," I lied, finishing the last of my lemonade from my bottle.

"You don't look very tired," she voiced. _Alice was far too observant for her own good sometimes._

"Just one of the lucky ones, I guess," I said distractedly, watching Eric Yorkie a few seats away from us start picking his nose and wiping it on the underside of the table. _Gross_.

"Where did Edward go?" Em inquired. I shrugged, looking around faking ignorance.

"I don't know, he was here a minute ago," I answered, noticing Jazz watching me closely.

"Well...anyway, we were just talking about your birthday next week," Alice said. I went to cut her off but she put her hand up before I could do so. "Now, I know you said you didn't want to do anything, but quite frankly I don't care. You're having a party at our house and that's the end of it."

"No Alice, you promised," I whined. I'd never been a big fan of birthdays. People spending unnecessary money on me and being the center of attention was far from my thing.

"I did no such thing! Come on...please, Bella?" Alice pleaded. Her pout and puppy dog eyes were in full force. I turned to Rose to see her wink at me. _I was so screwed_.

"Ugh fine, you can throw me a party, but not too many people, okay?" I stated, looking around the cafeteria at all the faces who would most probably be there. I knew Alice would invite as many people as possible, that was just how she rolled.

"Good, because Mom and Dad will be at some charity event in Seattle and will be spending the night in some swanky-ass hotel. So we'll have the whole house to ourselves," Em voiced, wiggling his eyebrows at me.

"Haven't you forgotten one thing?" I asked, watching Em's face go blank. _He was thinking_.

"Err...no?" he said, it sounding more like a question than an answer. I leaned forward, placing both hands flat on the table.

"What about Charlie? Don't you think he'll notice a shit load of vehicles everywhere?" I asked. Charlie was pretty laid back about most things, but a house full of under-age drinkers wouldn't be one of them.

I could see Alice practically beaming next to me. "Okay, what did you do?" I asked cautiously, but smiling at her excitement.

"Oh nothing, I just happen to know Charlie won't be home," she responded nonchalantly. I pursed my lips; how did she know this?

"And you know this, _how_, Alice?" I wondered. I could see Jazz fiddling with the fingers of Alice's right hand, a knowing smile forming on his face.

"I just mentioned that we may end up having a girlie evening at your house – lots of romantic comedies to watch, pyjamas and boy talk. Needless to say it freaked The Chief the fuck out and he said he'd be out of our hair all evening. In fact he'll be out night fishing," she replied smugly, obviously pleased with her planning.

"So you lied?" I stated, trying to keep a straight face.

"Exactly," she said confidently, not worried in the least.

"You are a force to be reckoned with, Alice Cullen," I laughed, leaning my head back in exasperation. "So, it looks like I'm having a party then, huh?" I said mostly to myself. Alice squealed in excitement, immediately setting off into a rant.

"It will be so much fun! Trust me," she responded. I nodded my head in defeat. She had planned this from the start so there was no use going against her now, too many things were obviously already in motion.

I pointed my finger towards her in mock seriousness. "Just remember what I said, not too many people." Her head started bobbing like one of those ornamental nodding dogs, eager to appease me. _I didn't believe it for a second_.

"Come on lovelies, lets get to gym," Jazz said, pulling me up from my chair, knowing I was most likely considering making a run for it.

"Yeah, wouldn't want to miss all that fun," I mumbled sarcastically, letting out a squeak when I felt Jazz pinch my butt.

"You're an ass-man, aren't you Jasper?" I asked. His wink gave me all the confirmation I needed.

"I'll see you in there, Tiger," he said once we had reached the girls' locker room.

"My little SVB isn't a tiger, she's more like a kitten – all clumsy and unsure on her feet," Em chuckled. Rose linked her arm through mine, dragging me into the room. I slapped Em's chest on the way but didn't disagree with him. _I wonder who I'll take out this time?_

We dressed into our gym clothes swiftly, not putting off the inevitable any longer. I pulled my hair up into a ponytail, not wanting it to be getting in my face all lesson.

I heard a gasp, turning to see Alice with her hand over her mouth. "What's wrong?" I asked, checking to make sure I hadn't left my shorts off or something ridiculously embarrassing like that.

"What's that on your neck?" She questioned. My brows scrunched up in confusion, wondering what the hell she was on about.

Rose silently passed me her compact mirror to check for myself. My face paled now knowing what she was referring to. "Er...not sure, you know what I'm like, I probably did it when falling or something," I chuckled nervously, putting my shirt safely into the locker.

"Are those teeth marks?" Rose wondered, craning her neck closer to me. I snapped her mirror shut and started walking into the gym.

"No," I lied. "How would I have teeth marks on my neck?"

"You tell _us!_" Alice retorted. I ignored them both, only shrugging my shoulders as an answer.

"_Ew,_ _gross, gross, gross!_ Please don't tell me they're from that dog?" The disgust in Rose's voice evident.

"No, they're not from _Jacob_," I replied, emphasizing his name.

"What's not from Jacob?" Em inquired, appearing behind me with Jasper and the devil spawn in tow.

"Nothing," I huffed, wishing they'd drop it already - especially considering who was approaching.

"It's not _nothing_. I think Bella's been getting frisky with a certain boy from the Rez," Alice teased, skipping to my side, trying to shift my collar for them to see the mark.

"Quit it!" I whispered, slapping her hand away.

"What's wrong, Bells?" Jazz asked confused, resulting in Edward now also focusing his attention on me. _Great_.

"Nothing, I'm fine. I'm just trying to get Alice here from doing something I don't want her to," I replied, giving her hand another light tap when she went for my collar again.

"Come on Bella, please? Let me see it properly," she whined. I shook my head. Why she was so bothered by it I'll never know.

"Nope, now leave me alone," I sighed, tightening the tie in my hair.

I could see Emmett whispering to Jazz and Edward, most likely explaining what Alice was so eager to see. Edward's lips twitched, no doubt remembering _exactly_ where those teeth marks had come from.

Coach Clapp entered the gym, a cart full of basketballs being pushed behind him by Mike. Basketball wasn't too bad, as I could just stand off to the side of the court somewhere and stay out of everyone's way, _thank god._

The coach blew his whistle right by my ear, _jerk_. "Attention kids. I want you to split into pairs and practice passing and shots for a bit before we start the actual games," he shouted. Mike was by my side in an instant as was usual, but this was one class I didn't mind too much, as he mostly did all the work.

Rose gave me her customary wink before she went with Em to get her ball. Alice always felt guilty leaving me with Newton, but she and Jazz had been partners long before I came along, so I wasn't about to change that. Jessica had latched herself onto Edward, trying to link her arm through his but he kept them rigidly at his sides, effectively stopping that action.

"I'll go get us a ball," I said to Mike, knowing that this would most likely be the only thing I would be able to do all class.

He nodded his head, smiling brightly, before he went to stand near Tyler and the wench that is Lauren. From the corner of my eye, I saw Edward turn to face me when I passed him, his expression stoic. I glared at him - just because I felt like it - and carried on.

I bent down into the cart, reaching for the first ball I came to. Just as I'd secured it in my grasp, a pair of bright pink nail-polished hands snatched the ball right out of my hands, causing me to lose my balance slightly.

Jessica stood there, smugness overtaking her features. "What the _fuck_ is your problem?" I shouted, taking the ball back from her hands.

"You're always getting in my way, that's the problem," she sneered, snatching the ball once again.

"What are you, like _five?_ Give it back," I seethed. I knew I was being a little childish but in all fairness, I had gotten it first. Plus, there was like ten others in the damn cart.

I managed to get a good grip - digging my nails into the material - but she just wouldn't let go, resulting in both of us having a sort of tug-of-war over a rubber ball of air. Not my finest moment to be sure.

"Hey, hey, hey, break it up." James stood behind me, wrapping his arm around my waist to drag me back.

"She fucking started it," I said, glaring at Jessica's stormy face.

A humourless laugh escaped her lips, "That's mature," she retorted. "You steal _everything_ that is mine."

I looked at her as if she was crazy, wondering when the men in the white coats were going to come barging into the room and take her away.

"Come on Bella, ignore her," James interrupted, unsuccessfully trying to get me to drop the ball.

I shrugged him off. "I don't know what the hell you're on about. I would never want anything of yours. If you hadn't noticed, we are completely different."

She looked me up and down with disgust. "I couldn't agree more."

"And what's _that_ supposed to mean?" I said through clenched teeth.

"Well, look at you," she laughed. "What have _you_ got to offer anyone?"

Edward had approached without my noticing and started whispering into Jessica's ear, a self satisfied smile forming on her over glossed lips._ She could be a human fly trap with the amount she had on. I wondered how she didn't come into school with them stuck to her mouth._

I narrowed my eyes at Edward, losing my temper even more just thinking about what he could possibly be saying to her. From the expression on his face, I knew it was about me.

"Just let her have it. Be the bigger person," James whispered. I turned to look at him, quietly examining his face before begrudgingly nodding and letting my hands drop.

Edward was staring at us both, but I didn't get time to even flip him off, as Coach Clapp came over to us. "You five are Team Three. You're on next." All of us – except for Mike who had also appeared from nowhere – were not happy about this at all.

"You better not let the team down Eddie, I've seen you play," James smirked. The look in his eyes held humour, but also something dark that I couldn't quite place.

"Just worry about yourself James. If you hadn't already noticed, I am good at most things," he said, smirking back.

"Yes, he is," Jessica purred, making me want to hurl. I wrinkled my face - showing my distaste - which caused Mike to laugh. _Huh, perhaps he did have a sense of humour after all. But, I was pretty sure even if I said the word "ball" he would laugh, which just said everything._

We gathered on the court, getting into positions. I thanked James for his help earlier before locating to the back - well out of the way of everyone. Tyler Crowley's team were our opponents, having some sort of pep talk. _It's fucking gym class not the play-offs, _I thought.

The coach blew the whistle, effectively starting the game. All was going well for the first couple of minutes, our team ahead. Edward aimed the ball at the back of Newton's head a few times - messing about - but then the competition really started. You would think this would have involved more pressure coming from the other team – but no. James and Edward were having a type of pissing contest, both trying to get the most baskets. They were on the same damn team but refused to help each other, vying to go things alone.

James quite forcefully elbowed Edward in the ribs, making him drop the ball, and proceeded to dribble down the end of the court to the basket. I could see Edward seething, his hands clenched into tight fists.

The second offense came from Edward this time, who blatantly pushed James out of the way, perfect for all to see. I took a glance at the coach who was ignorant to everything happening, reading a magazine. _Most likely porn._

James picked himself up from the floor, his nostrils flaring slightly, but that wasn't what made me take notice. It was the cold, hard expression in his eyes; they were like steel. I swallowed nervously, wondering what was going to transpire next.

Our team was well ahead, which I think was largely due to the fact Tyler's team were too intimidated and didn't want to get involved and end up with a black eye, or worse; a broken limb.

"What are they doing?" Mike mumbled when running past me, waving his hands for the pass. Jessica had somehow ended up with the ball and was looking genuinely panicked, especially when Edward and James both ended up demanding it. She threw it in the air, not caring where it ended up, just wanting the shouting to stop around her. The thing was, it was headed in my direction, both boys charging after it. I jumped out of the way - tripping over my loose shoelace - and fell to my knees.

"Are you okay, Bella?" Mike asked, rushing to my side and sticking his hand out to help me up.

I flashed him a hesitant smile, placing my hand in his, "Yeah, I'm fine. Thanks."

"No, it's _not_ fine," he said to himself, squaring his shoulders and walking over to where both Edward and James stood bickering.

"Oh, shit," I breathed, brushing myself off to go help Mike out.

"What a surprise, the _klutz_ fell," Jess quipped. _What is with this girl today?_

I chose to ignore her, not wanting to let her get to me. I swiveled back around to watch what was happening with Mike's mission. Shocked to see they we practically next to us now as James and Edward had turned on Mike, stalking him back towards us.

"You both...sho-should have just...pl-played the game...properly," I could hear Mike stuttering. I pictured my loyal "lap dog" as Rose called him, whimpering with his tail between his legs.

"You're really getting on my nerves Newton," Edward growled, the sound sending shivers down my spine.

You know the saying, 'that person will be the death of me' - well, I'm pretty sure _I_ would be the death of Mike Newton. James rammed into Mike, sending him flying into Jessica who ended up falling into me. A complete domino effect.

"Ouch," I groaned, feeling a little dizzy. I felt a body on top of me still and leaned up on my elbows to see Jessica glaring at me.

"This is all your fault," she seethed, her lips pinched in anger.

I laughed. "You're delusional." Then with a much more serious expression, whispered. "Now get the _fuck_ off me!"

She was still giving me hateful stares and I had lost my patience after the events of the day, so I pushed her. I was at a disadvantage - what with most of my body beneath hers. So when she yanked on my hair - pulling the strands harshly - I lost it. I reached back to try and pry her fingers loose, but couldn't quite succeed. But I managed to get one of my legs free and gave her a swift knee to the hip.

"You bitch!" she screamed. I writhed, trying to get her the hell off me. I saw her own ponytail hanging over her shoulder and thought, _what the hell,_ and grabbed it, wrapping it around my fist.

Quite the audience had gathered by now, a lot of them staring at us in utter shock. I briefly wondered where the coach was and why he hadn't come to break us up, but thought he was probably enjoying the view. _Pervert._

We were both grabbing and pulling what we could reach, screaming and shouting insults at the other. I could hear Alice arguing with what distinctly sounded like Lauren Mallory, and more prominently Rose's shouts at Emmett to let her go so she could get involved and kick some ass – her words, not mine. A sharp pain ran across my cheek, the cold feeling and smell unmistakable; _blood. _Jessica's cheap ass ring had obviously sliced a small incision into my face. I tried to breathe from my mouth as much as possible as I couldn't handle the smell of blood. I put my hand to my cheek, wincing at the sting. _That's it, I've had about enough of this bitch today._ I slapped her across the face, the sound echoing through the building.

Coach Clapp finally decided to intervene, his whistle blowing in shrill spurts. "Right, that's enough. Get up you two," he said, the sounds of his feet descending from the bleachers quickening.

Someone had finally pulled Jessica off of me, and before I knew it, I was being lifted by someone. My rage still directed towards the bitch across from me. Her eyes were bordering on black and she was struggling from Mike's grasp, her legs flying wildly.

I was being dragged backwards and briefly saw Alice communicating with whoever it was dragging me away, telling her to take care of my things. It was like a red haze had taken over me and I couldn't focus properly.

"This isn't over Bella, I can make your life _hell!_" she screamed as the cold wind from the now open doors hit me full force.

I went to move back into the gym; I don't do well with threats. "Don't fucking tempt me! Come finish this now..." My voice trailed off as the doors shut in my face.

I leaned forward and rested my forehead against the smooth surface of the door. I registered that someone was still with me, so with one last deep breath I turned my head and opened my eyes to see a forest of dark green looking back at me.

"You need to calm the fuck down," he said seriously, obviously thinking I was going to freak out on him.

I switched positions and rested my back against the door. Re-closing my eyes, I relished in the cool air on my over-heated skin and just basked in the quiet.

"What the hell was all _that_ about? You do realize that you're going to have them constantly on your back now?" he asked. He just had to break the silence didn't he?

"She's been giving me shit all day," I expressed. "Anyway, it's just as much your fault. If you didn't start your... well, whatever the fuck it was with James, none of this would've happened," I said, opening my eyes to take a look at him.

"You're not putting this on _me._ I wasn't the one who decided to take a swing at Stanley," Edward replied, clenching his jaw in irritation due to my accusation.

"She wouldn't get off me, she deserved it. Plus, if you and James hadn't started on Mike, he wouldn't have been propelled into Jessica in the first place," I said calmly, watching his irritation grow.

"Yes, but again, why did he come over to us? Oh I remember, something about you _falling over_. So you see, you kind of _did_ start it, intentionally or not doesn't matter," he responded smugly.

"Fucking semantics," I mumbled, gently extracting the tie from my hair – it was half hanging out everywhere and most likely looked like a bird's nest anyway.

I ran my hands cautiously through my hair, wincing when my fingers got tangled in a knot. I looked over to see Edward scowling at me – well not at me – more like my cheek. Then I realized I was probably still bleeding. _Cue the panic._

"Oh god," I groaned as I reached up and gingerly touched my face, my eyes growing wide as the sticky consistency coated my fingertips.

With a huff, his hands went to the bottom of his shirt, completely removing it with one pull. _Holy shit! _I swallowed the lump in my throat as he stepped forward and bunched his shirt up, holding out towards my face.

"I can look after myself, I don't need your help," I said, jutting out my chin but really wanting to take it so I didn't pass out, especially in front of him.

"Stop being such a stubborn bitch and let me take a look at it," he sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"What makes _you_ so qualified?" I snapped.

"Carlisle's a doctor, remember? Believe it or not I know a thing or two."

He tenderly checked the cut, with me once again finding his fingers surprisingly soft.

"A lot of blood for such a small cut," he whispered. "You won't need stitches or anything, it'll heal fine by itself."

I tried really hard not to, but couldn't stop my eyes from roaming down his chest and torso, pausing at the patch of hair traveling beneath his shorts.

"Aren't you cold?" I blurted out as he lightly pressed the cotton to my cheek, with me wiping my bloody hands onto the material. _Much better._

"Not really," he shrugged. "Why, want to warm me up?"

"Ugh, _god no_. Just keep those disgusting thoughts of yours to yourself."

His fingers curled around my wrist, wrenching me forward. "What do you think you're doing?" I spat, watching the way his muscles moved beneath his pale skin.

"Taking you home, obviously," he replied loudly over his shoulder. We stopped outside his Volvo, me scanning the area for my escape route.

"They already know I'm taking you home," he voiced, slipping on a gray hoodie from his back seat and answering my silent question.

"I'll just go back inside and wait for them," I said, turning around to make my move.

"No you don't," he gripped my forearm, swinging me back around. "Do you really think it's wise to go back in there? Jessica will still be there and I don't think anyone wants to deal with the two of you going for round two," he said, raising his eyebrows in warning.

I ground my teeth in anger, wanting to disagree with him but knowing he was right. So I kept my mouth shut. "Fine," I huffed. "But are you sure your little girlfriend won't mind? I'm pretty sure she wouldn't be open for business 24/7 if she knew you were driving me home."

"She is not my fucking _girlfriend._ I don't have girlfriends," he responded. "Although, she did just get a little more interesting. Who knew she liked it rough?" he murmured, a teasing smile spreading across his face.

"You're sick," I replied, watching the smile fall from his mouth. "Can we get this over with? I want to get far, far away from you as soon as possible," I sighed, taking a quick look at the t shirt and instantly regretting it when I saw the blood. _Breathe through your mouth, just breathe through your mouth_.

"No puking in my car, I know all about your dislike of blood, so keep it in!" he spat, opening the door and gesturing for me to get inside.

For a second I considered making a run for it. Yes, it would be pathetic and childish but I really didn't give a shit. He was watching me closely, squinting at me as if he was trying to work out what I was thinking. I silently climbed into the passenger seat without so much as a look in his direction. The door closed shut behind me, and as he made his way to the driver's side, I gave a quick glance at my surroundings. The seats were black leather and the interior was spotlessly clean; the dashboard was dust free and the windows were clear of smudges.

I still didn't look at him as he got in, I just stared out the window as he started the ignition and reversed out of his spot.

"Why are you so rigid? I won't bite... well not unless you want me to," he chuckled.

I rolled my eyes. _I thought you said no puking in your car?_ I hadn't even realized I had been so tense until he'd brought it up. "It's the seats... they could be covered in the Skank Brigade's bodily fluids for all I know." The more I actually thought about it the more I thought it could actually be true. _Gross._

"Don't worry your little head about it. None of the... what was it you called them? Skank Brigade? Well, none of them have seen any action in here. I tend to keep them away from personal spaces."

_Then why the hell I am sitting here in this pristine vehicle? I may not be part of the Skank Brigade, but we are not friends - we don't even like each other._

He fiddled with his stereo for a few seconds until a familiar tune came on.

"Claire De Lune?" I questioned. For some reason I didn't take him for a Debussy fan.

"You know Debussy?" he asked. I chanced a look at him from the corner of my eye to see him doing the same.

"Yeah, I know it," I replied. "It's one of my mom's favourites, so I grew up with it always playing in the house," I shrugged.

"So... do you listen to a lot of classical music?" I inquired, turning to face him a little.

"I do." He hesitated for a minute before adding, "It relaxes me."

I nodded my head in understanding. "I should have realized... what with the fact you play piano and all."

"You know I play piano?" he asked. I could see he was looking at me now, so I hesitantly nodded my head in acquiescence.

"I mean... yeah, the others told me." I replied cautiously, remembering that he hated people knowing his business. "It's a beautiful instrument," I added as an after thought.

I could see his jaw clenching, _oh shit he's mad again._ "You've touched my piano?" he asked far too calmly.

I snorted, "Edward... no. I was warned before even entering the music room not to even breathe near your piano. It's just that the music room is my favourite room in your house. I tend to spend a lot of time there when the others are busy. So, don't worry your little head about it," I replied, using the same words he'd spoken moments before.

He didn't say anything more on the matter. In fact, he didn't even look angry, simply pensive. Coming up to my house, I saw a familiar-looking car parked in the driveway, and the very unmistakable figure of Jacob Black leaning against it. My fingers gripped the edge of my seat tightly, leaving nail indentations in the underside of the leather I'm sure. Edward's face was a picture, I'd never seen him like that before.

"Looks like you've got a visitor," his voice was emotionless, but the dark look in his eyes betrayed him.

He pulled up against the curb, but didn't cut the engine. Both boys were shooting each other glares, but Jacob was unwavering in his stance.

"Why _him,_ Bella?" Edward questioned, turning to face me. "Does he excite you, bring you pleasure? Do you imagine it's his hands when you're touching yourself?" He leaned forward, his lips brushing against the shell of my ear and whispered, "If it was me feeling your soft skin, I'd have you eating out the palm of my hand. Next time you touch yourself, imagine it's me and you'll see what I mean." My heart was pounding and I had a sudden urge to lean my head back and close my eyes.

His face drew away, pausing half way back to his seat. "I hate you," I breathed.

He roamed my face for a few seconds. "I don't doubt it," was all he said.

I pushed the door open, slamming it hard behind me. I ran up to Jake smiling, relieved to be out of Edward's presence, and in his. I glimpsed a flash of Silver driving away but kept my attention on Jake who was looking angry.

"You okay?" I asked, not liking the expression on his face; it wasn't him.

"Did he hurt you?" he seethed, his fists clenching at his sides. "Because if he did..." I had to cut him off there.

"What are you talking about?" Then I realized I had a bloody t-shirt in my hands.

"No Jake... just _no_. Edward's an asshole, but he wouldn't hurt me." I had no hesitation saying that. "I got in a fight with a girl at school, Edward dropped me home, that's all." I spoke softly, trying to reassure him.

He nodded his head but I could still tell he wasn't happy. "Come on, let's go inside," I said, grabbing his hand. He laced his fingers through mine in a comforting gesture, I gave him a gentle squeeze back.

"You got a first aid kit?" Jake asked as soon as we'd gotten into the kitchen.

"Yeah, there's one under the sink," I replied, putting Edward's shirt aside to wash. I wouldn't give it back in this state – even if it was just Edward. I had manners... well most of the time.

"Come here," Jake said, pulling a chair out for us both. I sat down opposite him, his face awfully close to my own. He brought a wipe to my cheek, gently cleaning my cut. I winced as the alcohol in it stung a bit.

"Sorry," he whispered, a look of concentration on his face. "There, all done," he said after another minute or so. "It's not deep or anything, it should be good as new in a few days." I couldn't help but smile at Jake playing doctor.

"Thanks Doc," I teased, earning my first smile from him since arriving home.

"Sure, sure," he laughed, winking at me and making my smile even more pronounced. _There's my Jake._

We stared at each other, the light in his eyes suddenly turning intense. I don't know who had moved first, or if it was in fact both of us, but we were gradually getting closer.

Our noses touched briefly, hesitancy evident in his actions. My breathing was becoming shallow. I didn't know what to do. I was equal parts curious and panicked. Half of me wanted to run, and the other half – the really fucking eager side – wanted him to just do it already. His face tilted slightly to the side before finally closing the distance. At first I couldn't think, my mind went completely blank. The feeling of his full, warm lips upon mine created a sort of fuzziness in my head that wasn't entirely unpleasant. I just sat there, somewhat frozen and immobile. He pulled back after a few more seconds to gauge my reaction, obviously wondering why I hadn't been reciprocating. His eyes were soft and inviting, the uncertainty and fear underlying in them crushing me a little. In that moment I didn't stop to think about what I was doing. I pressed my lips back to his.

He let out a small moan as he crushed his lips back to mine - his hand coming to the back of my neck, trying to bring my face closer to him. Just as I was about to comply my phone beeped from its place on the table where I had left it this morning. The sound brought me back to the real world and I realized I was kissing Jake – my _friend_ Jake. My _incredibly hot _childhood friend. His hand didn't leave my skin as I moved back a touch and blindly grabbed my phone off the table - all the while keeping my gaze on his now parted mouth. I shifted slightly and took a peak at the screen, eyebrows scrunching up in confusion as I didn't recognize the number.

_I'll see you Wednesday at 5, wear the blue panties. _

I snapped my jaw shut with force and closed my eyes, wanting nothing more than to throw my phone against the wall.

Suppressing a scream, I shakily put the offending item back to the table and opened my eyes. _Edward_.

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***Hides behind sofa cushion* So... what did you think? Thanks for reading. :)**


	8. Chapter 8

**Hey again everyone! Sorry this chapter has taken a little longer than usual, I'm in the process of moving house, so everything's a bit hectic here at the moment.**

**I had an influx of new readers add me to story alert these past two weeks - which made me smile - so thank you. And, as always thank you to everyone who continues to read and review. :)**

**Huge thank you to my beta SusanQ. I am learning so much from her; she is brilliant!**

* * *

Edward

"You got a lighter?" I asked, checking my pockets once again - my cigarette precariously balanced between my lips. I'd been in such a fucking rush this morning, not even having time to shower and get rid of my morning wood in the luxury of the steamy shower.

Ben silently chucked me the gas-filled device, watching me light up before catching it when I passed it back to him. "Thanks," I nodded, exhaling the sweet nicotine.

"You busy this weekend?" he asked, breaking the quiet. He was resting lazily against the tree in our usual spot, waiting for my answer.

"Not that I know of, why?" I queried. It was unusual for Ben to plan things ahead of time, so I was intrigued.

"I asked Angela out on a date...well to the movies. Anyway, her parents are a little uptight, so they suggested she have a friend with her," he sighed. "And I was kind of wondering if you'd tag along with us, eliminate that third-wheel scenario that I really, really hate."

I considered his request for a moment, then realized I had forgotten to ask the most crucial question.

"Who's she bringing?" I asked.

If she was clingy, needy or a complete psycho there was no way I would be sitting for a few hours in a dark room with them. Or worse, she could be a ghost-of-fucks-past. I rolled my eyes. _Yeah that wouldn't be awkward._

A sly smile graced his face as I took one last drag of my cigarette and flicked in on the ground, crushing it beneath my Nikes.

"Don't worry, you'll like her," he laughed, pushing himself off the tree and grabbing his bag off the floor.

I went to question him further but something caught my eye across the parking lot. _Who was that?_

"So, you'll come then? I'm thinking Friday, about seven," he voiced.

I nodded my head, only half listening. "Yeah, sounds good," I replied, still staring curiously at the new attendant surrounded by my usual flock of girls.

"Her name's Tanya," Ben announced, my eyes traveling to his face. "She's Lauren's cousin, just moved here from Alaska."

"How do you know this? How could I not know about it? And even better yet, how is it even possible that Alice hadn't even fucking heard about it?" I asked incredulously. My sister has some sort of freaky gift or some shit when it comes to these things.

He shrugged, "My mom said something about it this morning when trying to make conversation - guess she hears a lot working at the hospital. Anyway, from what I was told it was all pretty quick. Her parents wanted to travel – she didn't - so she's staying with her aunt until she graduates, I suppose."

I turned my attention back to the strawberry blonde, watching her appraise the other girls in front of her. Most of the girls here were insecure and petty, finding faults in others to make themselves feel superior. They traveled in cliques like a pride of lionesses on the prowl, ready to take down their next unfortunate victim. I couldn't even tell you how many times I had watched it happen in the past. However, just from this new girl's body language and stance alone, I could tell she was definitely not insecure - I can read people easily. _Well, all except one._

Bella was certainly a tough nut to crack. I was almost positive she would have given in by now. Whether my advances were genuine or not, no girl had rebuffed them before. She had teased me in lunch Monday, eating those strawberries in front of me after my unfortunate and poorly timed confession about liking the scent. I internally swore at myself for that obvious mistake. I hadn't been able to resist touching her – her legs in particular, especially after getting such a good view of them in biology before. Not to mention the fact that I had gotten a pretty good look at her blue panties, the colour setting off her perfect natural skin and covering an area that I vowed to be introduced to very soon.

When her hand had provocatively made contact with my leg - trying to work me up - my traitorous dick started begging for the touch of her hand. I wanted nothing more than to pick her up and slam her down on the table, spread her legs and pound into her until she called out my name in defeat. _I wouldn't let her win_.

Of course she had to get into some bitch fight with Stanley. I had already calmed down the voice of the "dick deflator" once by whispering sinful things into her ear, just knowing she'd eat that shit up. I wasn't going to actually do any of those things to her, but it was a quick solution - and one that never failed to work. However, the only concept I could come up with when they started writhing around on the floor of the gym together was to pry them apart... well after a few minutes at least. It didn't escape my notice than no one attempted to physically get involved, James especially liking the show. That prick had pushed me too far that day. We were both equally competitive – in most aspects of our lives, in fact – so it didn't surprise me when he started to use dirty tactics in our game of basketball. It didn't bother either of us that we were on the same team and were supposed to be working together. I made sure he got as good as he gave, relishing in his frustration every time I made a shot. That inconsequential wank-stain, Newton just had to get involved. _Stupid shit_. James had a particular dislike of him - he hated the weak. James was always looking for a new challenge, so when Mike started backing away, it angered him even more, resulting in the shove and hence why Stanley had Bella pinned to the floor.

Once I had Bella outside, she had calmed down considerably. The small cut on her face was bleeding quite heavily so I didn't think twice about it when I removed my shirt to stop the flow. I don't know why I had told the others I would take her home, it just came out and Alice had turned away before I could take it back. The fact that Bella recognized Debussy surprised me. I had only put it on to relax me, and as she was so fucking rigid, I thought it may help her too. My reasoning being that if she was less tense she would be more susceptible to my advances. When she mentioned my piano, I could feel my anger building up, thinking that she had purposely messed with one of my most prized possessions. But it was quickly squelched when she admitted to just liking the music room in which it was housed. I had been left confused, different thoughts running through my head, the most prominent one being that we had something in common;_ it was my favourite room also._

When we pulled up outside her house and that insect was standing there waiting for her, I wanted nothing more then to get out and crush him. Our hatred for each other had started a few years back - all over hearsay and speculation about Leah and myself - which he didn't know the first thing about. I couldn't understand what people saw in him, and more importantly what _she_ saw in him. I was flummoxed. I wanted to test something, so I whispered to her about imagining myself touching her, bringing her pleasure. From the accelerated breathing coming from her mouth and the rapid thumping of her pulse, I knew that I was getting to her. But when she told me she hated me, I didn't doubt it. I searched her face for a second trying to get a read on her, but her expression displayed nothing but the truth. However hard I tried, I could never truly tell what she was thinking. It was very frustrating.

The blaring of a car alarm sounding off snapped me out of my reverie and I inclined my head in the direction of the main building, letting Ben know I was ready to head inside. We both walked along the damp asphalt, weaving in and out of the parked cars on the lot.

Once inside, we split ways. He walked over to where Angela was shyly standing, the look on his face was one of dopey contentment. I made my way to English - acknowledging everyone who greeted me – and wanted to turn the other way and head back out for a smoke when I saw who was standing there all gum-popping and hair-twirling in the entryway. Jessica had the nerve to give me shit yesterday after she found out I had driven Bella home, complaining that she had never once been permitted access into my car. I told her that she was not my keeper and I could do whatever the fuck I wanted. She had been getting so damn clingy lately and I had to remind her that she wasn't my girlfriend. Her face blanched a little at that - guilt trying to force its way in, as I had hurt her feelings, but I shook it off, reminding myself that they all knew I'd never be exclusive with any of them.

"Hey Eddie," she said exuberantly, obviously over her sour mood from yesterday.

"Jessica," I sighed, shifting one of the straps of my bag higher onto my shoulder.

"I wanted to ask if you maybe wanted to do something tonight? A few of us are heading to Lauren's. Her cousin is living with her now and she wants to make her feel welcome. _Why,_ though I don't know...I mean, the new girl _always_ gets attention, right? I don't see what's so special about her," she sniffed. This was the thing about these "lionesses," they didn't like new editions, or easily-given memberships, resulting in some of them secretly turning on each other.

She looked at me eagerly, awaiting my answer. I couldn't deny that I wanted to find out a little more about Tanya. From where I had been standing earlier, she looked attractive and most importantly, she was uncharted territory around here. James and I always fought for the newbie.

"I can't tonight, I'm busy," I replied, running my hand through my hair.

"Oh, can't it wait? We haven't hung out in ages," she whined. I cringed, _that fucking voice_.

"Nope," I shrugged, leaving it at that. Of course, she wanted more of an answer.

"Well, what are you going to be doing? I could always come along and help." _Again with the damn eagerness_.

"Yeah, that isn't going to work," I sighed, wanting this discussion over already.

"Oh, and why is that?" she questioned, popping an obnoxiously loud bubble near my face.

I groaned. "Because I doubt very much Swan would allow you in her home," I snapped, irritated with her constant fucking babbling.

Her face contorted with disgust, "And why the hell will you be at _her_ house, Eddie? You can't like _that,_ surely?"

I pinched the bridge of my nose, holding a deep breath before exhaling slowly. "She's my fucking lab partner in biology and we have to work on that shitty project. And I don't know how many times I have to tell you, but stop calling me _Eddie_," I said through a tight jaw and clenched teeth.

She crossed her arms over her chest and scowled at the floor before looking up at me with what looked like sympathy in her eyes, "I'm sorry you have to spend time with that nobody, that's just awful." I almost laughed in her face, _if only she knew the game I had been playing with Bella and the real reasons for spending time with her._

"Can you move now?" I asked, all traces of patience vanished.

"Yeah...sure, sorry. I guess I'll see you in gym," she answered as I brushed past her and into class.

I slumped down into my usual seat, dropping the required books onto the table with a bang. Mr. Mason gave me an annoyed look before turning back to complete whatever the fuck he was writing out on the board. _Romeo and Juliet again, how original_.

The sliding of the chair next to me alerted me that my assigned seat member had arrived.

"How's the knee?" he asked, a hint of humour in his voice.

"About the same as your ankle, I expect," I quipped, looking at James's smug face.

"So it's fine then?" he assumed, loosening the tie around his neck.

"I don't know, you tell me?" I replied back, cocking my eyebrow at him expectantly. He laughed, shaking his head before dropping the subject. _Dick_.

Just then, Lauren strolled through the door with her cousin in tow. They walked up to Mr. Mason to make introductions. I saw James smirk my way from the corner of my eye, but I ignored him and took the time to really look over the new girl. She was tall, curvy, had mid-length strawberry blonde hair in gentle curls, and when she turned to scan the room I could see the shade of her eyes. _Ice blue_. Her gaze stopped on me, her eyes roaming my seated form before moving across to James sitting at my side. An amused smile graced her pink lips as she looked between the both of us, Lauren whispering into her ear the whole time. I knew this was the part where I was supposed to give my highly successful panty-dropping crooked smile; so I did just that. It only lasted a moment, but I could see it had the desired effect. James was leaning back in his chair with his shirt slightly bunched up, exposing a sliver of his stomach. He made sure to absently scratch his exposed skin to draw attention to his body, playing on forms of imagination. His tactics were always straight to the point; he wanted to fuck.

They both made their way to desk in front of ours, Lauren practically glaring at her usual table partner to move – which she did, scurrying off like a little lamb.

"She's all yours," James suddenly whispered beside me. I snapped my head around to him, confusion swamping my features.

"Who is?" I asked for clarification.

He flicked his head in front of us. "Newbie there, she's yours. I'm sure I'll get around to it sometime, but I have more pressing matters to attend to first," he smirked, the look on his face screaming no good.

"Who said I was even interested?" I whispered back, squinting my eyes at him.

"Oh please, we've been playing this game for as long as I can remember. I'm not fighting for first dibs, she's yours for the taking," he shrugged.

I stared at him in shock; he always wanted the chase. I rubbed my fingers across the stubbly surface of my jaw, trying to account for what he had just said. "Wait, you said other matters... is there some _other _new girl I don't know about?" I asked amusedly, only half-joking.

A dark look appeared in his eyes, "Well, she's new-_ish_ and the biggest challenge here for me." As soon as the words left his mouth I knew who he was talking about.

"Bella?" I whispered. I knew he had been showing a little interest in her, but since I knew she didn't like him like that from previous conversations with my family, I thought he would have moved on to his next target. I should have known better.

He nodded, "There's something wrong with all that untouched innocence. It screams to be violated." I mentally flinched at his words. _Whoa, wait a minute. Innocence?_

I shifted awkwardly in my seat, "I'd hardly call Swan _innocent_."

"Oh please, you can tell she is. Trust me, I know these things," he said, looking at me seriously. _Trust you? Yeah fucking right_.

I eyed him silently for a minute, thinking his words over. I didn't believe it. She was feisty and didn't take shit from anyone. However, she did blush a lot and seemed to get uncomfortable in certain situations. Not so much around me, as she usually played me right back. But...virtuous? I honestly couldn't see it.

I faced the front and attempted to listen to the crap Mason was talking about, but James stopped me once again, "Either way, she's ripe for the picking, and I intend to devour her." I ignored his comment and pretended to be listening to the teacher. I could feel him watching me, but I didn't have anything more to say to him. Perhaps he had found out about my game with Swan and this was just him trying to amp up the competition? But I didn't think that was true, no one else knew apart from the two of us involved. I had previously wondered why she hadn't told Alice or one of the others, but that just proved she was strong and didn't need anyone else's help. She was utterly confident in her abilities to resist me. The thought almost made me smile.

The lesson dragged on, the clock taking its sweet loving time to reach the hour mark. As soon as the bell rang, I stood and stretched - fucking thankful for it to be over. I racked my brain for what lesson was next, remembering I had gym. _Hmm, I wonder if we'll get to see round two today?_ I stepped around James who was still seated and headed for the door, acutely aware of two sets of eyes following my movements. _Too easy_, I thought to myself.

A large hand slapped me on the back as soon as I'd walked into the locker rooms. "E, where did you run off to last night? One minute you were in your room and the next you had disappeared. Your car was still gone this morning, I might add."

I smiled at Emmett and shook my head, thinking of my little rendezvous with Makenna last night. She phoned me all desperate and it would have been rude and ungentlemanly to turn her down. I was even feeling generous and got her off too, and came home around 2am. I was out again this morning before all the others as I had to stop off for gas before school.

"Just around," I shrugged, laughing when pushed me further into the room.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever man. Keep your secrets, I'll find out eventually." This was partly true. Emmett - along with Alice - had uncanny abilities to find out everything if they chose to. You wanted information on a student in school, you asked those two first. I think Em was just so trustworthy and happy all the damn time, that people just talked to him about things without even really realizing it. And Alice, well fuck knows how she would find out, she was just simply all-knowing.

"What's so funny?" Jazz asked, tying up his sneakers.

"Well, Emmett of course. Just look at him. What's not to laugh at?" I joked, effectively dodging a jab to the side.

"Pfft, you're just jealous you don't own all this man-muscle," he replied, wagging his eyebrows at me. I rolled my eyes at him, slipping my blazer off my shoulders to change for gym. Luckily I always kept a spare gym t-shirt in my locker. I had forgotten all about lending my shirt to Swan and would have ended up wearing one from the damn lost and found box. _Yeah, sweaty unwanted articles of clothing are not my thing._

"So, you hear about the new girl?" Jazz asked while sitting on the bench in front of the lockers.

"Not really, I mean, she's in my English class, and I know she's Lauren's cousin, but that's about it," I replied, trying to tame my hair. _Give it up, it's useless._

"Never fear, I've got the scoop. I'll tell you boys at lunch," Em whispered, flinging an arm around both our shoulders and leading us into the main gym. I chuckled, not at all surprised he already knew.

Em immediately ran behind Swan and tickled her sides, letting out a guffaw when she squeaked in shock.

"God, you're an ass," she laughed, slapping him lightly on the arm. She shot me a glare as I approached, which I just smirked at.

"Jazzy," Alice thrilled, jumping into his already waiting arms. I swear they do this every time they see one another, whether it's been two hours or ten minutes. It's sick.

"You look nice, Bella," Mike voiced, appearing from nowhere. _That boy should wear a fucking bell around his neck._

I held in a snort as she rolled her eyes. "Thanks Mike, but it's the same as what all the girls are wearing. You don't need to keep complimenting the shitty school uniforms," she said bumping her shoulders with his, probably wanting to spare his feelings or some shit.

"I wasn't talking about the uniforms, although you wear it well. It's just you always look nice, whatever you wear."

"Awww," Alice cooed, coming to lean her head just under my shoulder. "It's a shame she doesn't like him, he's so sweet to her."

I looked down at her, raising my eyebrow. "Seriously, sweet isn't the word I'd use. _Stalker_ is probably more accurate."

"You wouldn't understand, Edward. You're not into compliments and such," she replied, letting out a huff.

I scowled at her, an idea forming in my head. "Sure I am Alice, I can do nice."

I stepped nearer Bella, brushing my fingers against her hand as I stopped at her side. "I have to agree with Mike, you do look nice today," I said a little loudly for Alice's benefit. "I think I may have told you before that blue suits you," I grinned, watching her cheeks flame. I turned to look at Alice deliberately, proving that I could give compliments. She smiled, and bounced on her feet before skipping over to Rose.

"But do you know what would look even better on you?" I asked, trying to keep the amusement out of my voice.

"Um...a repellent spray to keep you away from me?" she responded sweetly, but from her tense stance I could tell she was getting annoyed.

"Funny," I said sarcastically. "No, the answer to my question is something a lot more worthwhile."

"And what's that?" she crossed her arms over her chest, unknowingly creating a gap in her polo shirt for Newton to immediately feast his beady eyes upon.

I grabbed her elbow to pull her closer to me, the heat from her body mixing with my own. "Me," I whispered, running my hand down her arm all the way to her wrist.

She snatched her arm away, turning her head to look me in the eye, "In your dreams."

I smirked. "You are in my dreams, one that involves you bent over my coach," I suppressed a laugh as her mouth snapped open and closed in quick succession.

"You're repulsive, vile, and delusional," she finally managed, squinting her eyes at me.

"Oh, I do love it when a girl talks dirty to me," I winked, her anger visibly increasing by the second.

She snorted. "Oh, that was nothing, I have a whole plethora of adjectives just for you. I'd be happy to recite them at any time," she quipped, pushing a few loose strands of hair that had escaped from her ponytail out of her face.

"I can think of a better use for your mouth."

The glare she shot me was highly amusing. "I like_ my_ idea better," she responded. I could tell she pretty much loathed me right about now.

"That's only because you have yet to experience mine," I replied.

"Yet? There will be no yet. However, there _will_ be a never," she spat.

"I beg to differ," I replied confidently.

"I guess we'll call this an impasse then," she ground out.

"You can call it whatever you like, but the subject will arise again, I can assure you."

"Not with me it won't," she responded, chancing a glance at Newton who had been standing watching our banter the whole time.

"We'll see."

The coach blew his whistle, asking us to gather around him. Bella's elbow jabbed me in the stomach as she walked away from me, causing a groan to leave my mouth. I rubbed the spot

where she'd made contact, clenching my teeth when I saw James standing next to her making her laugh. Coach Clapp was going on in his monotone voice about what we'd be doing this lesson but I stopped listening when my gaze landed on a pair of blue eyes. Tanya. She was openly staring, not embarrassed or uneasy doing so. I cocked an eyebrow at her, smirking. She just shrugged her shoulders, her own smirk playing on her lips. The crowd dispersed, Jessica making a beeline for me instantly, but I wasn't having any of that today. No, today I ignored her and went straight in the opposite direction, and stood directly behind Bella.

"I'm thinking we'll be partners today, yes? Good." I didn't wait for a reply, I tugged her back and shoved a racquet in her hands.

"Hey, Bella's _my_ partner," Mike whined, putting his arm around her shoulder, to which she immediately shrugged herself out of.

"Well today she's _not,_ so fuck off Newton," I growled, putting myself between them and daring him to object. I could see Jessica seething from where she stood, but it wasn't my problem. She'd have to wallow by herself.

"Whatever you two are up to, stop it this instant! I will not have another repeat of Monday, do I make myself clear?" Clapp voiced, arriving behind Mike.

"Crystal," I responded, looking at Coach.

"Good. Now Newton, go find yourself a partner and stop standing around pouting."

"But Coach, Bella and I are always..." he was cut off by Coach Clapp's heavy sigh.

"I don't care, now _move!_" he shouted. Mike shot a scowl my way before reluctantly leaving. _Fucking idiot._

I turned to face Bella who had been silent through all of this, and if looks could kill, I'd be fucked. Her little hand was gripping onto that racquet with some force while the other was balled at her side.

"Let's go play some badminton, shall we?" I winked, her cheeks flushed with even more with her anger.

"Sure, hopefully I'll get lucky and hit you will the ball a few times," she seethed, storming off to an empty spot in the gym. I followed her, my eyes locking on to her legs. She bent down to tie her shoelace that had become loose and I couldn't resist tapping her on the ass with my racquet as I passed. She let out a squeak. A few of the other couples around us turned to see where the noise had come from, to which Bella blushed, obviously not liking the focus on her.

She straightened up and stalked towards me, hands open. "Give me the ball," she huffed, jutting out her chin.

"What ball?" I asked in mock confusion. I knew to what she was referring to but I wanted to tease her.

"The one in your _hand,_ dipshit," she said, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"This isn't a_ ball_ Swan, this is a shuttlecock," I explained, watching her eyes roll in annoyance.

"Yeah, whatever, just give it to me," she sighed, tapping her foot impatiently.

"You want my cock?" I smiled crookedly, waiting for her response.

She glared at me, all the while gnawing on her bottom lip. She took a step towards me, eyes twinkling. "Yeah. So get it out then."

The smile dropped from my face. "Excuse me?" I couldn't have heard her right.

"You heard me. You think I want it, so let's get this over with, shall we?" she asked, her hands tugging on the drawstring of my shorts.

I stilled her hands, gazing down into her expressive eyes. "It will have to be another time," I managed to get out through my clenched teeth. _She always got me back somehow._

"If you say so," she smirked, tapping my cheek. I ran my hand through my hair, pulling a little harder than necessary due to my irritation with both her and myself.

I walked over to the opposite side of the net, staring her down as I twisted my racquet in a circular motion. I held the projectile in my left hand and sent it soaring over the net with my right. Bella attempted to hit it but it bounced off her racquet and ended up hitting Coach Clapp on the back of the head. I couldn't help the laugh that escaped my mouth. _She really was a fucking klutz._ She gave me the finger behind her back while apologizing to him, gesturing with her hands that it was an accident. He waved her off, not even attempting to look at her face, his gaze fixed directly on her chest. _How does he get away with that shit?_

I was still laughing when she came back. She looked particularly flustered, her cheeks bursting with colour and one half of her collar sticking up. She mouthed "_fuck you"_ to me before turning around and stretching her arms above her head, exposing the soft curve at the base of her spine. My eyes automatically zoned in on this, especially those two small indentations that I would have to press my thumbs into when grabbing her hips to bend her over a stable surface. _Yes I was that confident that it would eventually happen._ I looked up to see her head turned, looking pretty smug that she had caught me staring. Little tease_ had planned it._

Her second attempt to hit the shuttlecock was even worse than the first - she actually hit herself with it - which had me in stitches. Alice and Jasper had been giving me curious looks from across the room, that was until they saw Bella nursing her arm opposite me, understanding dawning on them immediately. This carried on for at least thirty minutes.

"Shut up Edward," Bella shouted, glaring at my still wheezing form. "Not all of us can be good at everything. I mean shit, this thing is really difficult to hit on target."

I dropped my racquet to the floor and walked over to her. "It's not fucking rocket science," I said to her once I'd reached her. She gave me the stink-eye as she picked up her own racquet.

As I stood behind her, I felt her whole body tense. "It's all about the grip," I whispered as I wrapped my arms around her and placed her hands on the handle.

"I don't need your help," she seethed, trying to shrug me off. I ignored her attempts and tightened my hold.

"Right, take the _"ball"_ as you call it, into your left hand," I directed, putting it into position.

"I can hold this by myself, thanks," she huffed, so I let my hand drop to her hip.

"Now, just line the racquet underneath the ball, slightly bend your right wrist and follow through with a whack."

I kept my right hand lightly on hers and just followed her lead. She did as I had directed and watched as it flew over the net. "I did it," she breathed, turning to face me with a small smile on her lips – instantly stepping back when she realized how close I was. "It's just a shame I had to have you helping me. I can think of another male who I would have preferred to be in your place," she responded, her eyes alight with success.

I hardened my features, "Yeah, well on the positive side, you know how to handle a shuttle..._cock_ all by yourself," I replied, closing the distance between us that she had just moments ago created. "And I can assure you, no one is as skilled as myself. He would have only been a disappointment."

Alice suddenly appeared, a bright smile on her face. "I just kicked Jazz's ass," she practically sang, bouncing on her feet.

"Only because I let you, Allie," Jazz mumbled, looking all dejected. _He was so playing with her._

I could see Alice pouting at him before flinging her arms around his neck in a warm embrace. He winked at Bella and myself before tickling her mercilessly, her child-like laughter echoing throughout the building. "Jazz...stop, please!" she cried, squirming in his grasp. Bella was watching on with a loving smile on her face and I couldn't help but wonder exactly what she was thinking. She seemed to have noticed my staring as she focused her attention back at me, both of us watching one another silently.

"So, who won out of you two? Although, I'm pretty sure I already know the answer," Alice asked.

"I did. I always win," I replied, not breaking eye contact with Bella.

"Well, enjoy it Edward, as I'm pretty sure your luck is soon going to run out," she stated, her eyes fierce.

"Luck has nothing to do with it, I can assure you," I promised, ripping my eyes away from her to focus on the approaching forms of Emmett and Rosalie.

"Let's blow this popsicle stand, I'm hungry," he boomed, pausing to ruffle Alice's hair.

"You're _always_ hungry Em. And don't touch the hair," she shoved him in the chest, scowling at him, but he just winked at her. _Nothing ever effected Emmett._

We filtered out of the room, all going our respective ways to get dressed. Me, Em and Jazz got to lunch before the girls, Emmett's tray overflowing with food.

"You sure you got enough food there, Em?" Jazz laughed, earning a finger from him.

"I need my strength, especially with Rose," he winked, earning a grimace from Jazz.

"Stop," he pleaded. "That's enough about my sister."

"What? I hadn't even said anything yet," he said, giving a shit-eating grin.

"Yeah, that's why I shut you down _now,_" Jazz replied.

All three chairs simultaneously moved backwards. _Shit, do girls practice this move?_ I was both pissed off and pleased that the shrew was left to sit next to me again. Pissed off as I couldn't stand her ass - she frustrated me beyond belief, and pleased because I could wear her resolve down easier if she was close.

"Looks like you've found yourself a new admirer, Edward," Rose voiced, spearing a slice of cucumber.

I arched an eyebrow at her, silently telling her to elaborate. "New girl, she was just staring this way."

I smirked, popping a fry into my mouth and shrugged my shoulders. _Wasn't really anything new._

"So, what's the deal with her anyway?" Jazz asked, nuzzling his face into Alice's neck.

"I can't believe I didn't know about her," Alice pouted, looking completely despondent. "Perhaps I'm losing my talents?" she sighed.

"Never," Jasper whispered, earning him a kiss on the cheek. _If I wasn't so used to their displays of affection, I wouldn't have been able to stay and watch all this lovey-dovey shit without wanting to hurl._

"Well, I heard a little today," Em announced, gaining all our attention. "Name's Tanya Denali, cousin to shit-for-brains Mallory. Parents are traveling Europe for a year. She plays cello, always gets what she wants – no holds barred, I might add. Created a bit of a scandal a few months back when she was found fucking her father's business partner against his office windows."

Nobody said anything for a few minutes. I for one, was too busy recreating the scene in my head, with me instead of the business partner.

"Sounds like your typical whore," Rose snapped breaking the silence and slapping the back of Emmett's head as he was still gazing off into space, no doubt thinking the same thing that I had had just been.

I sniggered when I heard Em ask Rose if they knew anyone with a spare office, earning him another slap.

"Jeez, I was only asking," he mumbled. "So, you interested in her or what?" Em asked me around a mouthful of food. I shrugged my shoulders as I honestly didn't know. I turned my gaze to my left to see Bella nibbling a stick of celery, appearing deep in thought.

"If you do, I have a few tips to impress her. My chat-up lines have never failed me in the past. How do you think I got this goddess here?" he asked, winking at Rose. "And as I obviously have no use for them anymore, I shall pass them on to you, little brother."

I smirked, nodding my head, telling him to continue. _He looked like a damn kid at Christmas._

"OK, we'll start off with a few of my favourites," he said getting comfortable. "Was your father a cement mixer? Because you sure make me _hard._" I groaned, not wanting to laugh but not being able to stop it.

"That _works?_" Bella asked between giggles.

"Sure it does. Let's see what else," he pondered, tapping his chin. He suddenly grinned over at Bella. "Want to come see my hard drive? Babe, I promise you it ain't 3.5 inches and it sure ain't floppy." Her face broke out into its tell-tale blush before she started laughing loudly.

"I've got one," Jazz said, clearing his throat from his laughter. "Your eyes are like spanners. Every time you look at me, my nuts tighten."

"Or this one," Alice said, wiping a tear from here eye. "Hi, will you help me find my puppy? I think he went into that cheap motel room across the street."

Bella's eye widened in shock. "Someone asked you that?" she asked.

Alice nodded, "And that's a tame one. I remember this really old guy coming up to me once asking me if I'd like to go party in his tool shed. It was gross."

Rose sniggered, leaning across the table towards us. "Yeah, and one time before we moved here, I was over at a friend's house watching Star Wars with her and her brothers when the eldest brother whispered in my ear, 'If you think Chewbacca is hairy, wait until you see my wookie.' I don't know if he was just joking or what, but I swear I choked on my popcorn!" Bella was uncontrollable now, she was laughing so hard she had tears streaming down her face.

"Ooh, this is a good one to use, E," Em replied looking at me. "Hi, I'm an astronaut and my next mission is to explore Uranus," he blurted out, causing me to nearly spit my mouthful of Coke everywhere. I roared with laughter, not caring that half of the students in the cafeteria were now looking our way.

"Please, no more. I can't take it," Bella cried, her hand unconsciously gripping my arm. Her chest was heaving as she was trying to get her breath back. I leaned towards her until my mouth was at her ear.

"I've got one for you, Swan." She shifted her watery eyes to me but didn't move. "The word of the day is _legs._ Let's say we heard back to yours and spread the word."

She looked at me blankly for a second before giving me a victorious smile. "No thanks, your dick is probably so small we'd have to use a water balloon."

I clenched my jaw, trying to fight my irritation. _Fuck, she was a bitch_. "You know, you don't get nearly enough credit for your wit," I breathed, nostrils flaring.

"I wasn't trying to be funny," she said sweetly.

"What line did you use for Rose, Em?" Jazz suddenly asked, glancing sideways at us, obviously noticing a bit of tension.

"Ah, that's easy to remember. I strolled up to her and asked, 'Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk past again?' She's been mine ever since." I shook my head, _it was so Emmett._

"My big brother is so cute," Alice cooed, pinching his cheeks, before abruptly turning to Bella. "What about you B? Has anyone ever said any to you?" my sister asked. I was curious about this myself.

"Err...no," she blushed, shifting awkwardly in her seat. "I didn't get attention from boys that much. Although, I did hear Phil use one on Renee once when they were both really drunk," she shrugged.

"What did he say?" Alice asked.

Bella let out an embarrassed smile. "You're like a dictionary. You bring meaning to my life." Rose and Alice awwwed at this, before Rose abruptly turned and smacked Em upside the head, again.

"Why can't you say things that like when you're drunk instead of just groping me?" she scowled, before flipping her hair angrily behind her head.

I stared curiously at the infuriating girl next to me while Em and Rose continued bickering. I was a little shocked by her admission. I mean, I didn't like to admit it or think about it that much, but she _was_ attractive; so the fact that she said boys didn't pay attention to her was really fucking confusing.

"I'm going out for a cigarette," I announced to no one in particular, but thought I'd say it regardless.

I made sure not to look at the table full of girls as I passed, even though I could hear them whispering to each other when I walked by. I'm pretty sure one of them even called my name but I was already out the doors by then and didn't have enough time to stay around and chat before the bell. Oh, and also perhaps because I prefer them when they're not talking.

Angela and Ben were sitting facing one another on one of the outside benches along the cafeteria. I went to light up but then realized I that I didn't have a lighter on me. _Fuck it_. I briefly considered going over and asking Ben for his, but I didn't want to spoil his chat or whatever - they looked all into it and shit. I begrudgingly put it back inside the pack and wondered why more of Forks youth couldn't smoke. I looked at my watch and groaned. _Biology calls._

Class seemed to drag on forever today. It may have had something to do with my nicotine craving and the fact that I had to sit there and hear Bella sigh every five goddam seconds. Seriously, I didn't think I could take much more. Every time I looked at the clock on the wall the hands had barley moved. I would then proceed to check my watch, thinking the clock must have been wrong, but no, they both read exactly the same. This was how I spent the rest of class. _Fucking productive I know._ When the lesson finally ended and it felt like I could breathe properly once again I let out a huge sigh of relief.

"I'll see you at five, don't be fucking late," Bella huffed from beside me before storming out the room. _Great, bitchy Bella is out to play. When isn't she a bitch? Good point._

My drive home didn't take long, and before I knew it, I was standing on my balcony with a cigarette between my lips. _Finally_. I showered after I finished, as I hadn't had time for one this morning and dressed in a green hoodie and jeans after that. I made sure I had my phone before closing my bedroom door behind me and descended the stairs.

I munched on a quick sandwich before grabbing a bottle of water from the fridge with every intention of leaving out the door. No such luck.

"Where are you going, Edward?" I heard my father ask from behind me. I let out an annoyed sigh and turned to face him.

"Next door," I replied, watching him take a sip from his mug and sit down at the table.

"How is Leah doing these days?" he asked, concern now overtaking his features.

"I don't know. I mean, I haven't talked to in her in a while, but I'm pretty sure she's good." I shrugged, pinching the skin of my right hand. "But I'm not actually going to the Clearwaters," I let out quickly. He went to respond, but Esme breezed into the room, a vase of freshly cut flowers in her arms. I watched her bend down and place a kiss on Carlisle's temple, a smile forming on his lips as she did so.

"What are you boys talking about?" she asked sweetly, placing the vase in the center of the table.

"I was inquiring as to where Edward was off to," Carlisle answered, looking at me once more.

"And where's that, Dear?" Esme questioned, adjusting a few of the flowers to her liking. _Thank fuck she didn't have any freesia in there._

I sighed, "I already told Dad. I'm just going next door, I won't be home late."

"Make sure you keep your manners in check, I'll be checking with Bella," she replied, walking over to the sink to wash her hands in her favourite vanilla-scented hand wash.

"Err...sure,"I said bewildered. _Why the fuck would she automatically guess I was going there? __I mean, Carlisle's guess was far more astute. Bella and I weren't even friends._ I could see Carlisle was eyeing me warily. "What?" I asked, staring back at him.

He studied me for another few seconds, rolling up the sleeves of his pale blue shirt. "Nothing...it's just that I didn't realize you were such good friends with Bella, that's all."

I could feel my eyebrows scrunching together, "We're not," I replied quickly. "I just have some shitty school project to do with her, that's all."

"Language, Edward." I rolled my eyes at my mother, stopping as she stepped forward to tame my hair.

"Such a handsome boy," she cooed. I smirked as I watched my father shake his head. "But remember what I said, be on your best behaviour...a mother hears things," she said pointedly, lightly slapping my cheek.

"It's all lies," I grinned, placing a swift kiss to her forehead.

"You're your father's son; so I very much doubt that," she said teasingly, looking back at him. I raised my eyebrow at him, watching how he cleared his throat, obviously embarrassed.

"Really?" I voiced, grinning fully at him.

"He had all the girls swooning after him in college," she reminisced. "Still does in fact."

"I can assure you I do not. Don't listen to a word she says, son," he replied, standing up to place his empty mug in the sink before quickly leaving the room. _Well someone was a little embarrassed._

I saw my mom smiling after him; they were still madly in love after all these years. I quite frankly couldn't get my head around loving someone unconditionally like that. It was completely unknown territory for me, and quite frankly I always found the concept of giving yourself fully to another person pretty fucking daunting. It was human nature to make mistakes and let people down and I didn't want any of those hassles that came with relationships.

"I gotta go," I said, checking the time and realizing I was late. _Is it wrong of me to find pleasure in the fact she's probably really pissy right now?_

"Have fun," she replied, going over to check on something in the oven. I didn't respond, to be quite honest, I was most probably about to set foot onto hostile territory.

I strolled down the driveway and cut across her lawn, pausing when I saw the chief's cruiser parked in the driveway. _I thought she said he usually worked late?_ I hesitantly made my way to the door and knocked loud enough to hear. The door flew open revealing a scowling Bella.

"You're late," she stated, one hand still gripping the door knob.

"I am," I responded, not offering an apology as I knew it would anger her further.

"Dad, Edward's here," she shouted, smirking at me. She turned on her heel and left the door open, presumably for me to just let myself in. I closed the door behind me and turned my head to the sound of heavy footsteps coming down the stairs. Bella was back at the door in seconds, still not changed from her school uniform.

"Edward," he acknowledged, putting his hand out for me to shake.

"Chief Swan," I replied back, gripping his hand with just enough force to show my respect.

"So, Bella tells me you're going to be working on a school project together?" he questioned, watching me closely.

"Yes, Sir. For Biology," I answered, making sure to keep eye contact.

"Where are your books?" Shit, he would have to be observant.

"Well Sir, it just seemed pretty pointless bringing the exact same things when Bella already has them here." he seemed to consider this for a moment before nodding.

"Makes sense in some respect I suppose, just make sure you bring them in future. And I hope you plan on pulling your weight here, Edward?" he asked seriously.

I nodded my agreement, "Yes, Chief." I heard Bella huff beside me, the first sound she'd made since she'd left me at the door.

"Dad, Edward has one of the highest, if not _the_ highest GPA in the class." This seemed to appease him as he slowly let out a small smile.

"Good to hear. Well, have fun kids, I gotta head out for work," he said, grabbing his car keys off the hook. "Oh, and Edward?" I turned to face him, giving him my full attention. "I was wondering if you knew anything about any damage to a golf course?" I could see his mustache twitching, trying to hold back a laugh. I paled. _He so fucking knew._

"No Sir, but if I hear anything I'll be sure to let you know," I smiled, trying to appear calm and polite.

"You be sure to do that," he said, lightly chuckling before walking out the door.

Bella's face was screwed up - her lips puckered as she just stared at the now vacant spot where her father had just stood. I cocked my head to the side while examining her, wondering what caused that expression on her face. "So, shall we just go on upstairs and get started then?" I purred, giving her my cooked grin.

That snapped her out of it. "There will be no going upstairs. I've set everything up on the kitchen table," she said, motioning with her hand to the room at the end of the hall.

"Table's sturdy I hope?" I asked, taking a step closer to her.

Her eyes narrowed, warning me to stop my ascent; like I was going to let that stop me. "So, how long is the chief gone for?" I questioned.

"He's on a night shift tonight, so he won't be home until morning," she replied nonchalantly.

"So you'll be here all by yourself?" I assumed, looking down at her. "Won't you get lonely?"

"Yes, I will be by myself, and no, I won't get lonely. I'm used to taking care of myself, thanks," she snapped.

"Well, if you need anything, don't hesitate to call for my services," I winked, earning a heated glare from her.

"That reminds me, how the hell did you even get my number, anyway?" She asked, crossing her arms over her chest.

"I never give away my sources," I responded, shaking my head.

"You're so...so, ugh just...let's get this over with," she sighed, walking from me into the kitchen. However, I didn't follow her straight away. I walked through the door to my right into the living room, making a beeline for the photos lining the mantelpiece. There were several of Bella over the years, from a baby huddled in what I assume was her mother's arms, to one with an oversized fishing hat on her head perched on Charlie's knee. Another - which looked to be the most recent one – had her sitting alone by a lake with her arms wrapped around legs, her chin resting on her knees while looking out onto the water.

I heard a throat clear behind me causing to to break my nosing. "Are you finished with you're snooping yet?" she asked, arching her eyebrows.

"For the moment," I shrugged, walking past her into the kitchen. I pulled out a chair and sat down, resting my arms on the table in front of me.

Bella stood behind the chair opposite me, gripping the edge with her small hands. "How shall we start this then?"

I smiled. "Why don't you come over here, sit on my lap, and we'll talk about the first thing that pops up," I replied, holding my arms out to her. Her cheeks bloomed with pinks, while here eyes were scorching pools of burnt chocolate.

"Yeah, that's not going to fucking happen," she quipped. She took a deep breath before pulling her chair back and sitting down. She fumbled with a few sheets of paper for a few minutes, creating several different piles, before looking back at me. She pushed a single sheet across the table towards me, signaling with her a flick of her eyes that I should read it. It was a list of project topics that Banner had given us last week.

"Pick one," she sighed, going back to her sorting. I read through the list, going through each listed topic before just picking out the one on photosynthesis. Yeah, we had probably done some of this shit already, but it would be an easy A. I snatched the pen from her hand, circled my choice and slid the paper back to her.

"Really?" she questioned, looking at my choice.

"Sure, why not? It guarantees us both an A. Easy," I shrugged, looking around the kitchen. "Plus, mom's got all the stuff we'll need for it out in her greenhouse so we won't need to go buy any shit or anything." I chanced a glance back at her to see her nodding now.

"Yeah, alright, that's settled then. I'll just jot down a few outlines then we can start it properly another day this week."

I nodded. "What day? I'm a busy boy," I grinned.

"I'm sure you are," she lowly mumbled. She looked deep in thought for a minute, "Friday? No wait, I can't do Friday."

"Why, hot date?" I snorted, still fiddling with the pen. When she didn't answer me I snapped my eyes to her. "It doesn't matter, I can't do Friday anyway," I let out.

"Why, hot date?" she quipped back, using my words against me. I decided not to answer just like she had done with me.

She took a deep breath and stood, tucking her curtain of her hair behind her ear. "I think we're finished here for today. It looks like we'll have to meet back up next week and we'll get things started then."

"Fine," I said, making no move to get up.

She disappeared into a room adjoining the kitchen, where I could hear here moving things about, obviously looking for something. She came back into the room running her hands through her hair. "You, stay. I need to go upstairs and get something."

I smirked at her, pretending to get up, but she quickly stepped forward and placed her hands on my shoulders - pushing me back down. "I'm serious," she said sternly while I tugged lightly on her school tie.

"Best behaviour. Promise," I replied, meeting her eyes. I flattened her tie to her shirt and ran my hand down the silky material. She swiftly removed her hands from my shoulders and bit her bottom lip while pushing my hand away. I shifted my gaze to her mouth as she stepped back and walked out of the room.

I took my phone from my pocket and replied to a text of Ben's, then decided to send a dirty one to Jane just for fun. I ran my fingers hastily through my hair, impatience getting the better of me. She had been up there for a while now; what was taking her so long? I stood from my seat, and made my way to the stairs – curiosity winning out. The first step groaned under the pressure of my feet, causing me to pause. I looked up, expecting her to appear at the very top and call me out for going against her words, but I was met with nothing but silence. I continued my assent until I reached the main landing, my eyes met with a medium sized corridor and three wooden doors. I was about to open the door opposite to where I stood when I heard a mumbled voice coming from the very end room to my left. _Bingo._

I carefully walked towards the noise – a slow smile forming on my lips as the mumbling grew louder – a few curse words suddenly becoming identifiable. I pressed my palm against the wooden material, pushing gently as I noticed it hadn't been fully closed. The door gave way easily, exposing Bella's bedroom to me for the first time. _And if I had my way it would definitely not be the last._

Bella was on her hands and knees in front of her closet, random articles of clothing strewn across the floor around her legs. I soundlessly moved further into the room, my eyes immediately drawn to the bed, the rich dark purple of the bedding standing out amongst the pale blue shade coating the walls. I was halfway to my destination when Bella stiffened, her movements instantly ceasing. She turned to face me, anger evident on her features. I smirked and carried on walking until I came into contact with silk and cotton.

"So this is your bed, huh?"

"Get out!" she shouted, scrambling up and shoving the clothing back in the closet.

I completely ignored her and walked around the space, picking up trinkets and objects that I came across, gave them a quick once over, and put them back. Her bookcase caused me stop; it was jam packed full of all different genres of both books and music.

"Quite the collection you've got here," I stated, turning my head to look at her flushed face. "It's quite impressive, actually."

"Wow, did _Edward Cullen_ just give me a compliment?" She asked with mock glee.

"I'm sure we can find some way for you to repay me," I responded dryly before turning my attention back to her collection.

"Here's a suggestion for repayment. Get out of my room," she said, clearly annoyed. I chuckled and turned to face her fully.

"What's the big deal?" I said walking over to sit on her bed. "Do I make you nervous?"

"No!" She shot back instantaneously. Suddenly, 'All Over You' by Spill Canvas filtered through the room, my eyes automatically searching for the source of the music. Bella's gaze was on the bedside table right next to me – well, more specifically on the phone that was now reverberating there. She darted her eyes to mine before lunging for it, I however was too quick and had it within my grasp before she had even reached the bed. The name _Jake_ was flashing across the screen. _What did that fucker want now?_

"It's your precious Jacob. Do you want me to answer it?" I asked looking up into her shocked face.

"Don't you dare," she breathed, making a grab for it. She unconsciously jumped onto my lap, practically climbing my torso to get to it. I put it further from her reach, her attempts completely futile. She bit the shoulder of the arm holding the phone, causing a groan of pain to escape my mouth. I growled and flipped us over, pinning her to the bed.

The ringing had stopped by now but that didn't stop her from wriggling. Her hair was splayed out across her pillow in complete disarray. She huffed, blowing some of the wayward strands from her face - uncovering the soft pink hue that coated her cheeks. I dropped the phone to the floor and linked my fingers through hers before placing our hands either side of her head, watching her chest heave with heavy breaths. Her shirt was straining against her breasts, clearly accentuating the lilac bra she had on underneath. I let my eyes unabashedly roam her mounds, noticing two very prominent peaks start to appear. _Well, unless she had suddenly started smuggling Tic Tacs, I would say she was enjoying this. _I wanted to smirk but was still a bit preoccupied. It also didn't escape my notice that she had stopped her attempts at retrieving the phone.

I bent my head to her chest, gazing up at her from beneath my eyelashes and blew across her right peak. She was watching me, her lips slightly parted, and let out a fucking sexy little whimper that went straight to my cock. _That had certainly woken something up._ I went to repeat my actions when the fucking doorbell rang. We both froze, panting back at one another.

"Ignore it," I whispered, not making any attempt to move.

When it rang a second time she didn't hesitate to push me off her, the glaze in her eyes completely gone. She was out the room and down the stairs in seconds, leaving me angry and incredibly fucking frustrated on her bed. I ran my hands through my hair, then paused, hearing the voice of the doorbell-ringer. _Motherfucker._ I stalked out the room and closed the door behind me, resisting the urge to slam it.

As soon as I started descending the stairs everything went silent, their voices ceasing. Jacob Black was standing in the foyer, his fists clenched at his sides and he looked to be visibly shaking with anger. I smirked at him, enjoying the fact that his thoughts must be everywhere right now, especially seeing me coming down from upstairs.

"Jacob, what an unpleasant surprise," I said, hardening my gaze.

"Edward was just leaving," Bella announced as soon as my feet hit the floor. I raised an eyebrow in response to this.

"Yeah, I really should get going, I'm suddenly incredibly worn out," I said checking my watch. Jacob's phone went off, he looked torn whether to answer it or not.

"It's work," he sighed. "I have to take it." Bella smiled and waved him off. He didn't go into another room like I'd hoped, he just walked a few paces away, his eyes permanently watching me.

I walked over to Bella, who now had the door open, and whispered, "We'll have to finish what we started another time."

"Another time? Another time for _what?_ I don't remember anything significant or stimulating happening today," she said, appearing to look confused.

I clenched my jaw, "Oh, I think you _do_."

"Nope, sorry, can't think of a thing. Whatever it is you're referring to can't have been _that_ good if I was supposedly involved and can't even recall it," she replied sweetly and way too fucking calmly for my liking.

I narrowed my eyes at her, nostrils flaring, but then decided to do just a little more damage to Jacobs head - who still hadn't dropped his fucking inquisitive stare. "Sweet dreams for later, Bella," I whispered, letting my mouth linger a little by her cheek just to piss Jacob off further.

I strolled down the steps and crossed the lawn, pausing when my phone buzzed with a text from Jane, saying she could escape from Lauren's for a bit and asked me if I wanted to meet her somewhere. I looked up to see Bella standing in the open doorway with her arms around Jacob, her head resting on his chest facing me. I caught her eye and stared back at her until the door closed, cutting off the view. I was pretty certain she would have given in if we hadn't been interrupted. My jeans started to tighten slightly in response to my thoughts, the image of Bella's lilac clad breasts straining against her white shirt whizzing through my head. _Stop fucking thinking about it. It's not as if you've never seen breasts before._ I angrily shoved my hands in my pocket and retrieved my keys; I had somewhere I needed to be.

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**Reviews are greatly appreciated. Thanks for reading! :)**


	9. Chapter 9

**Wow, thank you so much to everyone who reviewed last chapter. I got double the amount I have previously received, which may not seem a lot to some, but it was to me; so thank you. **

**As ever, a huge thank you to my amazing beta SusanQ for correcting all my mistakes, she is a star.**

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns all things Twilight.**

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Bella

I pulled back the curtains and gently sank into the cushioned padding donning the window seat, relishing the early morning stillness that this time of day had to offer. The roads were quiet, none of the residents on the street were up and going about their daily routines yet. This had become my cycle for two mornings in a row now as I was having trouble sleeping. My slumber had become particularly restless. I'd wake during random periods of the night to find my comforter tangled around my legs and my skin would always be warm to the touch. The worst thing about it all was I had no idea why it was occurring. Granted, I was a pretty light sleeper anyway, but I would always be comfortable lying there until I finally drifted back off. Now it was pretty much impossible to do. So there I sat, hugging my knees to my chest and listening to the birds - who had decided the best place for their nest would be in the tree that stood directly in front of my window - sing their morning greetings...or as I liked to call it: pain to my ears. _Damn, happy, winged, tweeting peckers!_ I was resenting a feathered vertebrate. I was officially pathetic.

I glanced at the clock and sighed. It was only six. I briefly considered replying to one of Renee's emails, but that would only cause questions as to why I was writing to her at such an early hour. As I couldn't yet answer them truthfully, I would do so when I arrived home from school.

The sight of white material folded neatly atop my rocking chair brought back circumstances I would rather forget. When Edward had arrived – late I might add – at my house on Wednesday, I was undeniably in a bad mood. I was almost positive after all the mind-fuckery he had put me through during that day at school, that he had made sure to turn up later than agreed just to annoy me. _Another one of his games._ When I opened the door to see him standing there - all wet hair and soap-scented, I scowled, irritated that he had obviously taken the time to shower, and also that I couldn't help but think he looked a little delicious. But when he offered no apology for keeping me waiting, I pushed all that aside. _Just another example of his asshole tendencies_. I had thought for sure that Charlie would interrogate him and maybe unnerve him a little, but neither of those things occurred. Edward was nothing but polite, and Charlie - dare I say it - seemed to like him. They had this easy sort of repartee with each other. _Yeah, thanks for nothing Dad._

Once we finally managed to agree on a topic for our project, I left him with instructions to stay put - as he tried another pointless attempt at flirting or whatever the fuck he thought he was doing - and then went upstairs. I went looking for that damn gym shirt of his that he had given me after my fight with Jessica. Of course, I couldn't find it where I was almost certain I had put it. I didn't think I would mistakenly have put it with my own washing, but I couldn't not search my closet just in case. I hadn't even heard him come up the stairs, let alone enter my room, so when I saw him walking towards my bed I was understandably pissed. I had shouted at him to get out, of course ignored me and proceeded to do some further snooping. His downstairs assessments earlier obviously hadn't been substantial.

When my phone started ringing, I instantly knew who it was. After all, Jacob had been the one to choose that particular ringtone for himself. I could see in Edward's eyes what he was going to do, so I immediately made a lunge for it, not even thinking that this had left me basically clawing at him while sitting in his lap. All my attempts to retrieve my phone were hopeless, causing the anger in me to heighten and lash out by biting his shoulder. He growled and had me pinned beneath him within seconds. The action was so fast it left me breathless. He immediately slid his fingers between my own and lifted our hands so that they rested at either side of my head. The way he looked down at me with his dark eyes and parted mouth had ignited hormones - that I didn't want making an appearance - to start having a fucking party. My traitorous nipples started hardening in response to the feel of his body against my own, which of course he noticed. His warm breath had left my face and was applied to my right peak, causing a whimper to involuntarily leave my mouth. I watched him the whole time, feeling something hard pressing into my hip. My mind was completely foggy and too cut-off from itself to register anything but what he was making me feel. The predatory look he'd given me from beneath his eyelashes made my hands flinch. I wanted nothing more than to grab handfuls of hair and pull. Whether I would have pulled him away from me or towards me I would never know, because we had been interrupted by someone at the door. My mind cleared, and the situation I was in had clearly presented itself; I was lying on my bed with Edward. The Edward that constantly tormented me. The very same Edward that was only doing all this to prove a point and win some stupid fucking notion that he had in his head. _Hell no I had to get out of here!_ My feet moved without conscious thought, and quicker than I could have imagined, I was standing at the door facing Jacob.

The anger on his face when Edward finally came downstairs was plain as day. I had felt so much guilt for causing that look on his face. Jake wasn't supposed to look like that. He was sun, not clouds or rain. Knowing that something I had done caused that, didn't sit well with me. Things between the two of us were uncertain and a little complicated. We weren't dating. Yes, we had kissed a few times, and he had become more affectionate, always hugging me and kissing the top of my head, but neither one of us had spoken about what that really meant. I liked Jake, but did I like him enough to progress things further? I didn't know. I had my suspicions that he wanted to. I guess the ball was in my court.

As soon as Edward left, Jake pounced. He had questions about why Edward was here and what he had been doing upstairs. I lied to him. I told him that Edward was just using the bathroom and that he was here to work on a school project, even going as far as to show him the books at the kitchen table. _Well at least that part was true._ That was another thing. Why did I lie to him? He was my friend, not my _boyfriend_, so in that sense I had done nothing wrong. _Then why did it feel like I had somehow betrayed him?_

I scrubbed my hands down my face, frustrated at all these thoughts that remained unanswered, and leaned my face against the cool glass of the window. I decided all this pondering wasn't getting me anywhere this morning, so I trudged downstairs to make Charlie some breakfast for when he returned. Charlie had been on the night shifts this past week as his colleague, Riley and his wife, had just given birth to a baby boy named Marcus. He was red and wrinkly, and utterly adorable.

I decided pancakes and a side of bacon would be appreciated, so I set to work. Just as I was flipping the last pancake, the unmistakable rumble of the cruiser in the driveway let me know that he was home.

"You didn't have to do this Bells," Charlie voiced, stifling a yawn. I rolled my eyes at him playfully and pushed him into a chair.

"Couldn't sleep," I shrugged, going over to pour him a cup of freshly brewed coffee before setting both his mug and plate before him.

"Thanks, Kiddo. This looks great," he said before tucking in. I watched him for a second with a small smile on my face before grabbing a glass of juice and munching on a rasher of bacon.

"Anything exciting happen at work?" I teased, knowing full well that he'd probably spent his time watching sports on the mini portable TV at his desk.

He let out a _humph_, not needing to answer my teasing. "How's school?" he asked, shoveling a forkful of food into his mouth.

"It's okay, pretty much the same as usual," I replied, wiping my hands on a paper napkin. I always had a stack of them in the kitchen, you could never have too many, in my book. "That reminds me, I'm going out tonight. If you need to contact me or whatever, call my mobile."

He raised his eyes to mine. "Where you going?" he questioned, taking a sip of his coffee.

"Just to the movies with Angela and...well, I guess her boyfriend Ben. Don't know if they're exclusive or whatever yet, but..." Charlie raised his hands, obviously not wanting to hear any more talk from his teenage daughter about boyfriends and such.

"That's fine. Just let me know when you get in so I know you're safe." I nodded my head at his request, smiling as I remembered when Alice forced Charlie to buy a mobile phone. She insisted that it was a necessity and that everyone, _especially the Chief of Police_, needed one. He grumbled and picked out the first one he saw and that was that.

"Sure thing," I agreed, dumping my glass in the sink. "Anyway, I better go get ready for school. Make sure you get some sleep," I said, giving him a pointed stare.

"Jeez, anyone would think_ I_ was the parent," he mumbled sarcastically, his mustache twitching.

I smiled and rolled my eyes before making my way back up the stairs to shower. I scrubbed myself clean with my newly-acquired strawberry body wash, and lathered up my hair in the same scented shampoo and conditioner. I mean, any little thing to get to him right? _No, we do not think of him, especially in the shower._ I told myself the only reason that Monday had even happened was because I was horny, and I forgot that he was the enemy. People assume it's only boys who get all hormone-driven and crazy. What a load of bullshit, girls have needs too. Hell, I was mortified when Rose and Alice bought me my very first vibrator. I had only known them three weeks before they sprung the thing at me, telling me that I looked a little frustrated. Ever since then, "Thumper the Rabbit" has been a good friend of mine. I was nervous to use it at first, and still haven't put it inside me, but my clit sure likes it.

Once showered, I took my time dressing, as it wasn't even past seven-thirty yet. I even ironed my already crease-less shirt. I got out the blow dryer and dried my hair, adding a little product that apparently stops the ends from getting dry. _Like I really give a shit, but it smelled nice so I used it._ I secured the pale yellow hair band on my head and placed my shoes on my navy knee-high length socked feet. I glanced at the clock - just after eight. I'd just go over to Alice's early. That way, Charlie wouldn't have to put up with my noise while trying to catch some sleep.

I made sure I had everything in my bag before shutting off all the appliances in my room, and softly closed the door behind me as I turned for the stairs.

Once out the door, I leisurely strolled down the Cullen's driveway, enjoying the fact that it wasn't raining and that the weather was fairly warm for once – well, warm for Forks anyway. I let myself in through the side entrance as per usual, and made my way to the kitchen. I was not prepared for the sight in front of me. Good Lord that man is hot! I should have brought spare panties with me. _Note to self: when in proximity to Dr. DILF, always carry change of underwear._ I should probably write that down somewhere so I don't forget it. Carlisle was standing in the middle of the room in just a pair of shorts and sneakers. His bare chest was damp with sweat and he had a water bottle crushed to his lips, condensation running down the plastic and making me want to lick it.

_Oh yeah, and him too._

I started to unconsciously run my tongue over my lips while watching a small droplet of water drip from the bottle and run down his perfect chest. _Shit, I may need mouth-to-mouth if I don't snap out of this soon! They should really call a doctor...oh wait._ He'd obviously just come from their indoor gym as he had his t-shirt clutched into his hand. _I'd like to give him a workout. Maybe we could recreate the scene from 'Sixteen Candles' with Long Duk Dong on the exercise bike, except with us - sans clothing, of course. _Wow, perhaps I really am turning into a slut? _Or perhaps it's just the Cullen men_?

"Bella?" I snapped my eyes from his chest and dispelled my thoughts to focus on his friendly blue gaze.

"Hi, Dr. Cullen," I replied, mentally cringing at the break in my voice. A chuckle from the doorway alerted me to someone else's presence. _Give me a break._

"Swan, you're here awfully early," Edward announced, giving me that damn crooked grin.

"Oh really? I hadn't noticed," I lied, looking at my wrist to check the time before realizing I don't wear a watch. _Smooth, Bella smooth._ I had made it obvious that I had been avoiding him since Wednesday. Every time he entered a room, I left. Every time he spoke to me, I only replied in one word answers. I could hardly do that in front of his father. _Damn him._

"I could say the same for you, Edward. It's a rare occurrence for you to even be up at this time," Dr. Cullen responded, wiping his chest with his shirt. _Keep your eyes on the table. Oh look, flowers!_

"Like _you_ would know. You're hardly ever here in the mornings," Edward laughed, except this chuckle held no humour.

"It's called having a _job,_ Son," Carlisle replied evenly. _Okay, this isn't at all awkward._

"Yeah, there's also a thing called _family_." I shifted my gaze to watch Edward, a little surprised that he would feel this way about his dad.

"_Exactly_, why do you think I work so hard? I want what's best for all of you," Dr. Cullen answered with a hint of frustration in his voice. _Okay, time to stop the tension-train, this passenger wants off._

"These are beautiful flowers," I said walking closer to the arrangement. "Do you know what they are? No, you probably don't as men don't really know those kinds of things. But then, neither do I, so...um, yeah, that doesn't really work either," I felt my cheeks heat and mentally chastised myself for not just running away out of the door I entered from.

I sneaked a glance at them both after being met with silence, to see two very different expressions. Dr. Cullen was rubbing the back of his neck, obviously a little embarrassed as he most probably forgot I was even still in the room. While Edward was smirking at me, eyes glinting, evidently enjoying my stupidity. _Dick._

"No, you're right Bella, I don't know what they are. Anyway, I better go shower before I have to head out. Have a good day in school the both of you, and I'll see you later, Son," he said, giving a small nod to Edward. He stepped aside to let Dr. Cullen pass, and I breathed a sigh of relief that I could now escape, myself.

"So, now that we're alone, you can give me the _real_ reason you're here early. Did you want to go up to my room and carry on from where we left off last time?" he grinned, stepping towards me.

"I don't know what you're referring to, sorry," I lied. "Besides, I thought you didn't allow people in your room, or whatever?" I asked, resting my bag on the back of a chair.

"For you, I'd be willing to make a special exception," he whispered, backing me up against the table until I could feel the smooth wooden surface on the back of my thighs.

"What, should that make me feel special?" I said sarcastically, leaning as far back from him as physically possible.

"Not necessarily," he breathed. "It does however make you extraordinarily lucky." His gaze was piercing and I once again found myself not being able to look away from the rapidly darkening ivy color of his eyes.

"Bella, dear," Esme sang, appearing through the doorway and eyeing us both curiously. "Have you eaten, would you like some breakfast?"

"No, thank you. I already ate," I smiled, wondering why Edward had yet to move. His right hand came towards my face, his fingertips brushing gently against the apple of my cheek for just a second before they were gone again.

"Eyelash," he murmured holding it out on his pointer finger, obviously using that as the reason for being in such close proximity to me should Esme ask. "Make a wish," he stated, bringing it closer to my face. I could see Esme had moved from her position by the door, but was positive she was still surreptitiously watching us. I quickly blew the eyelash off his finger hoping that he would then move.

"What did you wish for?" he asked, taking a step back. I looked up at his probing eyes and shook my head, but before I had time to answer, Esme cut in.

"If she told you that, it wouldn't very well come true. Now sit," she admonished, setting a plate of eggs in front of him that had been resting in the pan on the stove.

I stifled a laugh as I saw him sigh in frustration, but couldn't quite hide the smirk on my face. Esme was incredibly motherly and enjoyed cooking for her children as if they were still ten. I knew Edward was independent, so even this small act of being forced to eat breakfast must have grated on his nerves, yet he said nothing. Such a momma's boy.

"Hey Mom, Bella was admiring you flowers earlier...among other things," he murmured the last bit, but that didn't stop me from kicking Edward under the table, earning a satisfactory grunt from him. He stabbed his fork harshly through his eggs, all the while shooting me a heated glare.

"Why, thank you. They're hydrangeas, one of my favourites," Esme responded, her voice full of glee at the compliment. I blushed and nodded, wondering just how much Edward had seen of me drooling over his father. I didn't have chance to contemplate it any further, as Em came barging into the room, almost skidding on the flooring in his haste.

"Fill up the plate, my dear, your favourite son is here," Emmett boomed, heading straight for the mound of eggs Esme already had piled onto a plate. I couldn't help but smile at his antics.

"Yeah right. You _wish_ you were the favourite, we both know I am," Edward smiled, looking over his shoulder at his brother. I pulled out a chair opposite Edward and giggled as Esme swatted them both with a towel.

"Hey my little SVB, how are we this morning?" Emmett asked, taking the seat next to me. I smiled and pushed the rack of toast that was next to me towards him, as I knew he would want it.

"I'm fine, just a little tired," I sighed. "I shouldn't really moan though. Charlie has just gotten home from the night shift. I swear he still thinks he's twenty," I chuckled, shaking my head.

"Sounds like someone else I know," Esme interjected, putting another plate aside, presumably for Alice. "So, did Edward behave himself on Wednesday Bella? I warned him I'd be asking you." Edward coughed and smirked down at his eggs while I just prayed I wasn't blushing.

"Yeah, we chose our project topic. It was all very mundane," I said politely, hiding the smile from my face as Edward flicked his gaze up to glare at me. I ran my pinky finger lightly on the table, outlining the knotted pattens in the wood. "Which reminds me, Edward mentioned that it would be all right when the time comes, to use your greenhouse and some of its supplies. I just wanted to double check that was okay with you."

Esme waved her hand off as if it was nothing, "That's fine dear, just use what you need." I smiled in gratitude to her, and gave a soft thanks.

"You still busy tonight, B?" Em asked taking a big gulp of milk. I nodded, grabbing his napkin to wipe the milk mustache that had formed above his upper lip to which he just winked. I heard Alice shout for Esme from the top of the stairs, asking for a particular necklace that she couldn't find anywhere, resulting in her leaving the room to go help her find the missing jewelery item.

"Yeah, still busy." I couldn't explain any further as my phone started ringing with the all-too -familiar ringtone belonging to Jacob. I dug around in my bag, finally finding it at the very bottom.

"Hey," I answered, internally cringing at having to speak to him here. Cutlery started clanging against china and I didn't have to guess to know where it was coming from.

"Hey Bells," he replied cheerily. "I know it's early but I wanted to know if you have plans later. I was going to do something with Leah and thought you could meet her?" His voice sounded so hopeful and I felt guilty once again knowing that I would have to say no.

"I would love to, but I kind of already have plans," I said, freezing when I felt something come into contact with my leg.

"Oh...that's okay," he said pausing. I knew it was Edward's foot that was brushing itself gently up my calf, well I was 99.9% certain it was him, as I was pretty sure Emmett wouldn't be playing footsie under the table with me. I must have missed Jake's question as he was asking if I was still there.

"Yeah, I'm still here," I said, kicking Edward's foot away. "What did you ask again? Sorry."

"I said, what are you up to tonight?" I frowned as he'd never really questioned what I did before. Emmett got up from the table, putting Edward in a headlock on his way out.

"Jackass!" Edward shouted after him, attempting to straighten out his hair with a scowl on his face, causing Em to laugh loudly.

"Bite me," Em retorted, with a shit eating grin on his face before running out of the doorway and thudding up the stairs. I could hear murmurs of, "Stop running in the house!" coming from Esme, before I quickly realized Jake was still awaiting my answer.

"I'm going out with Angela and Ben to the movies," I said, jumping a little in my seat at how fast Edward's head whipped around in my direction to stare at me suspiciously.

"Who are you with?" Jake suddenly blurted out. I glared at Edward as he was abruptly smirking at me. The boy was the most confusing person I had ever met. He went from one emotion to the next, sometimes without any visible cause or reason.

"I'm at Alice's. You know I get a ride to school every morning since I don't have a car," I explained, wondering why this was even being discussed, he already knew this.

"I guess I forgot," he replied sounding a little tense. An awkward silence came between us, which again, was not us.

"Hey, we can do something together tomorrow. We'll have fun," I said happily, wanting his mood to lighten. A snort filled the room, which I ignored. _He was always looking to get some sort of reaction from me._

"Yeah, I'd like that," he replied softly, letting out a deep breath. "Come over to my house whenever you're ready, I have a little surprise for you." I grimaced at the word 'surprise' but he sounded so excited that I couldn't say anything that may disrupt it. "I know you don't like surprises, but I think you'll like this one," he added. I couldn't help but smile at how well he knew me.

"Hmm, I'll let you off just this once," I teased, happy when I heard his infectious laugh on the other end of the phone.

I was acutely aware of Edward being in the room, and was a little taken aback at how quiet he was being when he knew exactly who I was talking to. I didn't know their precise history, but I knew enough that there was a deep-rooted hatred between them. The fact he wasn't doing anything to try and sabotage the call when he had openly done so before, was a bit disconcerting. I was always waiting for him to do something. I realized with horror that I had become far too conscious of him. I never knew what he was thinking. This was why he was so good at everything; he unnerved his opposition without even having to try. The confident aura that surrounded him both drew people in, and had them running. I was stuck. Stuck with nowhere to go, leaving me with nothing to do but participate. This was entirely new to me, as I had never had attention from boys, whether it be genuine or not. Edward was a complete enigma to me. He was very guarded with emotional aspects, and never talked about himself sincerely. Everything was suggestive and teasing and never serious. He didn't let people in. I think Alice was the only one who truly knew the real him and that's why she was constantly angry with him, yet again, this was never talked about. _Gah, why am I even thinking of this?_

I ended my call with Jacob just as Alice skipped into the room, plonking herself straight into my lap. She eyed me curiously for a second, the pout on her face turning into a toothy smile.

"You did your hair, and not just in your normal shoving a brush through it way," she picked up a strand and even sniffed it, "Squee! You even put product in it. I'm so proud of you Bella," I rolled my eyes and laughed as she hugged me tightly.

"Whoooo," Edward murmured sarcastically. "Now that Alice mentions it, it doesn't resemble your usual birds nest," he sniggered.

"Fuck you," I mouthed, scowling at him. He smiled at my response and I realized he enjoyed irritating me. _Not as much as I like telling you to go fuck yourself,_ I thought.

"Shut up," Alice pouted, standing up and resting her small hand on the back of my chair. "You're one to talk, your hair permanently looks like you've been dragged through a hedge backwards." I burst out laughing at Alice's assessment, even if it was so different from my own. I thought Edward would get angry but he stood and walked over to his sister with a look of mock hurt, his full lips pursed in a small pout. _They've both definitely got that look down._

"Don't be angry with me, Ali," he said softly, his green eyes in full hypnotic force. That whole silent twin thing started happening, talking to each other without actually speaking. _Yeah not going to lie, it was kind of freaky._ I had seen it so many times between Rosalie and Jasper, but had never seen these two do it before. Alice's face started twitching before it gradually broke out into a small smile.

"You're an ass," she said, trying to wipe the smile off her face but not succeeding in the slightest. Edward pulled her into an hug, her pixie-flick hair not even reaching his chin. "I'm going to go get my bag and by the time I get back I expect you to have apologized to Bella," she said pointedly before stepping out of his arms and out of the room.

"Well?" I said waiting, standing to pull my school bag onto my shoulder. "I'm waiting," I grinned, pleased that he would have to do something he really didn't want to have to do.

He glared back at me for a second with his hands firmly tucked into his trouser pockets. _He looked like a brooding GQ model in that blazer of his._ I crossed my arms over my chest and waited expectantly, raising my eyebrows to tell him to get on with it. I could see thoughts churning behind his eyes, but what those thoughts were, I had no idea. With a deep sigh he went to open his mouth but he was disrupted by Rose and Jazz coming through the door arguing.

"God, it's milk, it comes from a fucking cow. If you're going to cry about it, I'm sure we can buy you one for your birthday, so you'll always have something to go on your damn cereal," Rose huffed, shuffling down the hallway in her stiletto shoes. _Doesn't matter what the occasion, she was always in heels._

"That's so wrong, and just disgusting. You should have more consideration for others. You're always so selfish," Jazz continued, eliciting a groan of frustration from his sister.

"I swear if you don't stop bitching, I really will give you something to cry about," Rose threatened, obviously at her last nerve. I kept my mouth shut as they both breezed into the kitchen, Jazz going straight for the fridge and pulling out the bottle of milk before grabbing a glass and filling it to the top with the pale liquid.

"God, what's with you two this morning? Is it that time of the month, Rose?" Edward quipped, earning a fiery stare from the very pissed goddess to my left.

"Fuck you! Go wack-off to pictures of your piano, or whatever. I'm not in the mood to deal with doucheward this morning," Rose snapped. _Shit what is with everyone today? I'm definitely keeping my lips zipped. Perhaps I should even do that whole throwing away the key movement. Yeah, because that wouldn't be stupid. No, not at all._ I internally rolled my eyes and made sure not to make eye contact with anyone just in case they wanted to drag me in to something and take sides. That never worked out well.

"You've still got a drop left, Jazzy. Wouldn't want to waste it now, drink up." Jazz was practically shooting daggers at Rose as he dumped his glass into the bubble-filled sink. _Hmm, I wonder what dish soap Esme uses. No, focus Bella, this is not the time to go all perfect housewife. Shit you aren't even married for fuck's sake. Get a grip._

"I'm sure Emmett says the same thing to you when you're sucking his dick," Edward snapped, obviously getting her back for the piano comment. I _so_ wanted to snort. _I thought the piano thing was pretty funny myself._

My feet started shifting between each other without much conscious thought from myself, the hostility in the room palpable. _Gah, where is Alice? Perhaps I should start sending distress signals of some sort by shouting words such as, Gucci! Prada! Fucking Manolo Blahniks!_

"What's going on in here?" Alice questioned, while standing in the doorway with her hands firmly on her hips. Em stood eating a banana behind her. _I swear that boy is always eating, I bet he has a stash of shit upstairs in his room. Alice has clothes in the closet, Em has a mini convenience store._ The other three in the room didn't answer as they were too busy with the whole, "I'm gonna slap you silly" looks they were giving each other.

"Bella?" Alice turned to me. I couldn't tell her as I really didn't even know what was going on myself, so I said the first thing that came to mind.

"Have you seen these flowers, Alice? They're hydrangeas," I even did that whole thing with my hands as if I were trying to sell them like those women from the Home Shopping Network. _Yes, I am a moron._ Emmett started choking on his banana. Yeah, that will teach him to never laugh with his mouth full again. Then I realized it was Em. Enough said.

Alice started pounding her brother's back while sending us all inquisitive stares. Of course, Jazz broke first, not wanting to intentionally keep Alice out of the loop. That would not be good for any of us.

"Rose and I were having a disagreement. Then Edward and Rose started arguing. Then Bella was just standing there all uncomfortable. Then you came in. Then Em choked on his banana. A few more stink-eyes...I think that's about it," Alice was nodding her head in understanding, while Em just looked confused.

"Well, what were you and Rose arguing about?" Bless you Emmett, I too, would like to know this.

"Er, Rose used the last of the milk this morning so I couldn't have my cereal. Then she proceeded to waste it," Jazz mumbled. I snorted loudly, immediately bringing my hand to my mouth to hide it.

"So, let me get this straight, you were arguing over _milk?_" I clarified, looking between him and Rose.

Jazz rubbed his neck looking a little sheepish, "Kind of...well, yeah." I nodded my head, biting my lip, desperately trying not to out-right laugh in their faces.

I could hear Edward start mumbling something, but it was too low for me to make out what he was saying. I took a quick glance in his direction to see him running his hands angrily through his hair. _I wonder what it feels like?_ My eyes widened in surprise at my internal query and I swiftly looked away, playing with the sleeves of my jumper. _What the fuck was that?_

"Ugh, are we finished here yet? Let's just go," Rose huffed. I knew she wasn't a morning person, but she was extra moody today. She flicked her hair over her shoulder while looking purposefully at Emmett.

"Oh, right yeah," he replied, watching as she sashayed past him. Alice smiled at me and rolled her eyes, mouthing, "PMS" and sculpting her hands into claws. I felt sorry for anyone else that would piss Rose off today. I almost felt as if I should cross my chest for them in advance.

"You have my sympathy," Edward mocked, slapping Em on the back on his way out. "How you put up with that all day, I'll never know," he sighed, smirking slightly.

"Pfft, I can handle Rose. She can't resist her Love Muffin," he winked, his dimples on full display. I resisted another snort at his term of endearment for himself, trying to cover it by coughing. We all winced as the slam of the door reverberated off the walls. Em immediately grabbed the keys to his Jeep and high-tailed it out after her.

"Fucking whipped," Edward murmured, finally leaving also. I looked at Jazz and decided to give him a quick tease before we left for school.

"Now, Jazz, are you sure you haven't forgotten anything?" I asked. "You don't want to bring a carton of milk to school with you or anything in case you get thirsty later?" I said trying to appear serious. Alice's wind chime laughter filled the air as he stalked towards me. I let out a squeak and ran straight for the door, giggling like a five year old the whole time. Just as my hand gripped the front door handle, Jazz caught me and tickled me.

"What do you say?" he asked, his fingers relentless.

"Ahhh," I squealed, doing my best to get away, not wanting to give in.

"Sorry, I didn't quite hear you. What was that?" Alice was smiling at me fully, knowing just what I had to do for him to stop.

"Fine, fine," I wheezed. "I'll do it," I said. He stopped his attack and let me stand a little straighter but didn't remove his hands from my ribs. "You are the king and I am just a pawn," I mumbled. Jazz and I were very competitive chess players. We took the game very seriously. The score currently stood at his twelve games to my ten.

"Now do the other thing," he grinned. I gasped. No, he wouldn't dare! I shook my head furiously, wanting to hide my face in my hands.

"Yeah, please, please," Alice sang, practically buzzing. She skipped nearer and was grabbing onto Jazz's arm in her excitement.

"No way! It was humiliating enough the one and only time I did it for you guys. I'm not doing it again," I replied, not backing down in the slightest. Alice gave me her signature puppy dog look but finally relented, knowing I wasn't going to budge.

"Fine, but you _will_ do it again one day. I have my ways," she winked, tapping her nose. I rolled my eyes acting as if I wasn't bothered but inside, I wanted to weep. I knew she was most likely right.

I remembered the last time she made me do it. I had been back, living with Charlie for a few weeks and had spent every day in the company of the two pairs of siblings, doing most things together. Which also happened to include cleaning out my closet to accommodate all the new clothes Alice and Rose insisted I buy. The boys were there also, as we were too short to reach the very top shelf that housed some old boxes that needed removing. Jasper came across a particular box filled with old videos of me as a kid. I recognized some as recordings of attempted ballet lessons and birthdays. Then came one dreaded Christmas tape. I rapidly went to remove that from Jazz's clutches but he moved his hand away before I had the chance, his curiosity peaked. I begged him to give it back but he insisted we watch what was on there. I eventually gave in as I was somewhat of a pushover when it came to these four and followed them down into the lounge where Jazz was about to press play. Five-year-old me came onto the screen dressed in Snoopy pyjamas and even matching slippers. My hair was loose and wavy, as I had had it in braids the night before, and even then I had looked awkward and shy. I remembered also being somewhat excited, as it was always something that made my mother laugh - which she hadn't been doing so often back then. She had a beautiful laugh. So that was why I was doing the damn Snoopy Dance on-screen, which had me and everyone else in hysterics. _Oh and also total fucking mortification on my part._ Then Jazz got on his knees and pleaded for me to do it there and then, saying it was one of the funniest things he had ever seen. I, of course, complied and proceeded to fall and twist my ankle. It had hurt like a bitch, but up until then, it had been fun. Emmett had even joined in with me at one point, and well, Alice looked as if she had been sitting on a damn space hopper the way she was bouncing in her chair. But that in no way made me want to do it again. Ever.

Jazz kissed the top of my head, quickly followed by Alice giving me a cheeky wink and doing the same thing. I rolled my eyes at their antics and trailed outside after them, pausing when I noticed Edward standing at the top of the staircase staring at me oddly. My hand was frozen on the handle as I stared back, not sure what to make of it, I had never been on the receiving end of this look before. I could feel the hair at the back of my neck stand up, and that static quality in the air start to zap. This morning had already been testing enough. I would usually not want to be the first one to back down, but I knew I had to be the one to break it first – and that's exactly what I did. I quickly shut the door behind me and jumped into the Jeep. I blocked out the conversations, supported my head on the rest behind me, and just watched the scenery blur past as we accelerated down the driveway.

Mike hadn't been waiting for me this morning, which had allowed me to exhale a breath I didn't know I had been holding. _Obviously friendly stalkers tend to do that to you. _The first few periods flew by, Alice abuzz of birthday talk for next weekend, and we even ended up having a mini argument over the colour pink. I had to draw a line somewhere and it was definitely there. She thought that we could decorate everything in pink as it was "cute" – her words not mine.

I thought it was the devil.

We somehow compromised, I said she could pick my dress for the party and I would wear it without so much as a moan, and she promised me no pink. Somehow I still felt as if I had lost. I finalized the details for tonight with Angela. I would get Charlie to drop me off at her house on his way to the station, then Ben would take us to the movies and drop us both home afterward. It was all sorted. Gym was canceled as workmen were in to fix the gym roof - apparently it had a leak. Since it wasn't raining, it was the perfect day to rectify the problem.

I plopped down in my seat next to Alice at the lunch table, spilling the bottle of lemonade on my tray as I did so. "Fuck," I muttered, grabbing a napkin to quickly sop up the spill and wipe the residual liquid that was seeping down the bottle.

"We're going shopping for dresses tomorrow," Rose declared, looking pointedly at me to show there would be no arguments.

"I can't. I already promised Jake I would spend the day with him," I replied not meeting her eyes and popping a fry into my mouth.

"But Bella, you have to. They're for _your_ party after all," Alice admonished focusing all of her attention soundly on me.

I shook my head, "Sorry," I mumbled around another fry. "Anyway, you have total say on my dress, so you don't really need me there," I said, stealing Jasper's napkin from his tray to wipe my hands.

"I suppose," Alice said begrudgingly, then seeming to brighten with the thought of shopping for someone else. _You could never keep her spirits down for long._

"So, what are you and Jake going to do tomorrow? Get down and dirty in the woods?" Em grinned, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively. I think I blushed a thousand shades of red. I had no real problem discussing this sort of thing with Alice and Rose, but with Jazz and Em at the table it was sometimes a little awkward, not to mention real fucking embarrassing.

"Eww, Em I'm eating," Rose scolded, wrinkling her face in distaste. I just rolled my eyes at both of them.

"Jerk," I said throwing a fry in his direction and stifling a giggle when it accidentally landed in Rose's salad. She picked it and arched an eyebrow at me, a smile tugging at her lips. Em swept down and stole the fry out her fingers with his teeth, his mouth lingering there to place a quick kiss on her skin.

Conversation swiftly turned to what colours would work best with my skin tone, Em earning a gasp when he suggested the colour orange.

"What? I like orange," he shrugged, darting his eyes between his girlfriend and sister.

"Thank god you have us," Alice said so seriously I couldn't help but snort. Em and Jazz started discussing baseball or some type of sport involving a ball, which could actually be anything, I just wasn't really listening.

It didn't escape my notice that Edward hadn't joined us today. I furtively scanned the room for the mop of shocking bronze that I had come to recognize as easily as my own handwriting. I finally spotted him sitting with his harem of whores, including its new and exceedingly beautiful newbie, Tanya. She hadn't acknowledged me once, not even when Jess or Lauren would give me some snide comment. In fact, I don't even think she had once looked at me. If she had, I certainly hadn't noticed it. I was relieved that I hadn't had to deal with Edward since this morning, and yet I had this little niggling feeling crawling its way beneath my skin - that I once again had no name for - or just didn't want to acknowledge. _Shit, perhaps I am finally losing it. I should check my family history to see if lunacy runs deep within us. I'm putting money on my mother's side. I had never met her Aunt Netty, but from the few pictures I had seen as a child, she definitely looked a little crazy. Either that or she just had two really fucked-up lazy eyes._

The bell rang, and I trudged off to spend my last hour of school in the guidance counselor's office. The gold plaque on the door read 'Elizabeth Brandon.' I knocked on the door and was met by a woman in a dress made of many different colours. _She looked like she'd been attacked by a bag of Skittles. Taste the rainbow. More like choke on the damn thing. It was rather distracting._ Her room was chaotically organized - if that even made sense. Stacks of pamphlets on everything from teen pregnancy to 'Do you prefer chicken to tofu?' Not to mention the incense sticks left half burnt randomly about the room. I actually found myself liking the strangely eccentric woman. Her hair was a frizzy nest, but underneath all her craziness, she was rather pretty. She asked the usual questions - wanting to see how I was settling into a new school, and just general bullshit about friends and classes. I told her everything was good – which it was – and answered truthfully on most questions. I left the meeting with a handful of pamphlets that I didn't want, and a request to go see her whenever I felt the need to talk, as her door was always open._ Well that wasn't necessarily true as it was fucking closed when I arrived._ I knew what she meant though.

"Bella," I turned at the sound of my name being called. Angela was waving from her spot next to Ben by her car. I smiled and started towards them both.

"Hey guys," I said, receiving a smile and head nod from Ben, as was his usual greeting, and a hug from Angela. I resisted the urge to show the shock on my face. _Well that was new._ I didn't mind in the slightest though, so I returned the brief hug comfortably.

"So, I'll see you at my house at seven o'clock," she clarified anxiously. _Poor girl was a bundle of nerves._

"Definitely," I grinned brightly trying to lessen her anxiety. "What's playing tonight, anyway?" I asked trying to ease their tension.

"Some horror movie I think, if that's alright?" Ben asked hesitantly, scuffing his shoe on the concrete. _Looks like someone else is a little nervous._

I shrugged. "Yep, I'm easy," I replied, immediately cringing at my choice of words, earning a blush from Ang and a chuckle from Ben. "Yeah, I have a real way with words, it's an unfortunate gift," I sighed. All three of us stood in silence for about three seconds until we all erupted into laughter. _Shit, I made Mr. Impassive laugh! I had never seen him laugh before. I almost wanted to look around the parking lot to see if anyone else had seen it. Do I get a gold __star?_

"Well, I have to go pick my little brothers up from the sitter and stay with them until my parents get home," Angela announced, taking a glance at her watch.

"No problem, I'll see you both later." I turned and left them both to speak alone and made my way over to the Jeep where everyone else was already seated waiting for me. I noticed once again that Edward's car was already gone.

Once home, I finished a bit of homework so I wouldn't have any to do over the weekend, made me and Charlie a quick dinner of tacos, and nipped over to drop money for the dress to Alice. I knew I would have to fight her to accept it, as she loved spending money on me, but I was adamant this time.

I let myself in and half-ran to her room, thankful that no one really seemed to be around. I knocked before opening the door and stepped inside. "Alice," I called, biting the inside of my cheek at the unusual quietness adorning the house. I heard a muffled response before her closet doors shot open, a small scream leaving my lips in surprise. "Shit Alice, you scared me," I said, my hand covering my chest. Then I took a good look at her an noticed that she seemed to be tangled up in a pile of clothes with a pink cowboy hat on her head. We both stared at each other for a second before breaking out into full out grins.

"I heard you come in and tripped when trying to open the doors," she giggled, untangling herself but left the hat on.

"No wonder, with the amount of stuff you have in there," I responded, perching on the end of her bed. "Here's the money for my dress or whatever for tomorrow," I said dropping an envelope on her bed. She scowled at me before rolling her eyes and scooping it up.

"I would say I'm surprised, but I'm not," she huffed, dumping it in one of her drawers. "Anyway, I'm glad you're here. What time do you think you'll be back tomorrow from the Rez?"

"Umm, not sure, why?" I asked, pulling on a loose thread on the sleeve of my shirt before twisting and breaking it off with a snap.

"How about when you get home we have a sleepover? I mean...I know you have your own room here and all, but we can camp out in our pyjamas in the den, eat junk food, and you can dish on you and Jake. Don't think I haven't noticed you keeping quiet on that particular subject," she said winking. "It can just be us girls only. Jazz and Em can go watch porn or whatever it is that boys do in their rooms," she said, flipping her hand about in dismissal.

"Sure Alice," I said smiling, getting up off the bed and hedging towards the door. "That sounds really nice...apart from the whole Jake-talking stuff," I laughed, running to the door to make a quick exit. I blew her a kiss just before I closed the door behind me.

"You can't hide, I know where you live!" she shouted behind me, causing me to laugh as I made my way down the stairs.

"Right, I'll see you tomorrow then, Kiddo," Charlie announced as he pulled up outside Angela's to drop me off on his way to work. "And remember to let me know when you get home."

"Will do," I agreed, stepping out and shutting the cruiser door behind me. I gave him a quick wave as he drove off and then I continued on up the pathway to the front door. I rang the doorbell, finding myself humming along to the tune that played throughout the house. It wasn't one of your generic buzzes, it was a familiar sounding chime that was pleasant and cheerful.

The door was opened by a middle-aged woman, her hair neatly secured into a twist at the back of her head and dressed in a modest grey dress. "Hi, you must be Bella," she rightly assumed.

"Hi, Mrs. Weber, it's nice to meet you." I was always awkward with strangers, however nice they seemed. It's just that I had a tendency to make a complete idiot of myself in social situations. I could literally do or say anything before my mind caught on to the fact that I had just accidentally and unconsciously told someone I was a lesbian. _Yes, that had mortifying enough happened with a friend of my mother's._

"Come on in, Dear." I thanked her and stepped into the airy foyer. Wow, everything was so white. It was like a whitening toothpaste commercial. _I swear I can even smell mint._

Angela ran down the stairs in haste, stopping to straighten out her jumper, when she stopped in front of her mother. The doorbell rang again and the door was opened to a very pale looking Ben. _Meh, well at least he'll match the décor._

"Hi Mrs. Weber, I'm here to pick up Angela and Bella?" It came out sounding more like a question than anything and I almost wanted to run up and hug the nerves right out of him. But thought better of it in case she thought I was a wayward child or someone who was here to corrupt her daughter.

"Yes, of course, they're right here." Angela grabbed my hand and I immediately found myself being dragged out the door.

"Bye mom, I'll be back by curfew," she shouted as we flew past. I waved as best I could to a smiling Mrs. Weber before finding myself sitting in the back seat of Ben's Volkswagen.

"Sorry about that Bella. I didn't hear you arrive, otherwise I swear I would have opened the door first. I know how awkward it is speaking to someone's parents for the first time. Believe me, as the daughter of a pastor, I know what it's like having people randomly come and talk to you on the street," she stated all in one breath. _Alice would be proud._

"Don't worry about it, it was fine. Your mom seems really nice," I said genuinely, which seemed to appease her slightly. Ben was driving silently, his eyes occasionally drifting back to Angela who was seated in the back beside me – and hers pretty much doing the same.

We drove in silence the rest of the way to the movie theatre and got out once we'd parked. I went to walk in, but Angela grabbed my arm. "We've just got to wait here for someone," she whispered. "As you know, Ben didn't want to be left by himself with two girls." I nodded in understanding seeing how that would be a little awkward considering his personality.

"So, who are we waiting for?" I asked, switching off my phone already so I didn't forget once we were inside. _I really didn't want to anger a room full of hardcore movie goers, or condescending parents with my forgetfulness._ I flicked my gaze between the two of them waiting for an answer.

"Er...he's here now, actually," Ben said, pointing behind me. I swiveled around on my tip toes, thankfully maintaining my balance and gasped. _You have got to be shitting me!_

I went to object and say I was going home, but that would have been selfish of me. I knew how much Angela was looking forward to tonight. I clenched my teeth and sucked it up. Placing a fake smile on my face. "Are we ready to go in then?" I asked as soon as Edward had reached us, not wanting to look him in the eye or stick around to hear some snarky remark come out of his mouth. _Thank god there would be no chance for talking inside._ That put me at ease slightly.

"Sure," Angela smiled, she and Ben walking a little in front of us. Edward immediately drew closer to me, bending down enough that I felt the tips of his hair brush against my temple.

"Fancy seeing you here, Swan," he said teasingly. Why didn't he seem surprised to see me? Then I remembered my phone call that he had been present for this morning.

"You knew, didn't you?" I accused, snapping my head away from his. I clenched my fists and resisted the urge to scream.

"Maybe." I could hear by his voice that he was smiling. "But don't act like you're not happy to see me, when we both know that you are." I snorted and went to pay for my ticket, but before I could put my money down, Edward had slapped down a twenty and asked for two. I went to protest but Edward's arm was around my waist pulling me with him before I could get the chance.

"You had no right to do that. I don't want anything off you," I seethed, finally meeting his gaze. He stopped us abruptly and looked down at me with an angry expression on his face.

"I just did, so get over it." I narrowed my eyes and stared once more at the ground, walking away briskly to get some popcorn so I would have something to keep my hands busy when tempted to use them against my neighbour.

We chose seats near the back. I ending up sitting between Angela and of course, Edward. The movie started, the sounds of fake screams echoing from the screen. Ben had placed his palm upwards on the armrest, most likely a shy and silent invite for Angela. I could see her eyeing it every few minutes until about half way through, she hesitantly slipped her hand into his, their fingers instantly joining. They didn't look at each other but both their faces had small smiles attached to them. _I wanted to write a poem._

We were nearing the end of the movie, my popcorn all but diminished. The others had finished theirs ages ago, probably out of nerves. I blindly reached inside the bucket for the final kernel that I knew was there, but found it empty. I scrunched up my face in confusion and peered inside. The chuckle from my right let me know exactly where it had gone. The lonely sweet piece of corn was sitting in the palm of his hand and I knew he was doing it to get a rise out of me, but I didn't care. I wanted it back!

I reached out for it, his hand moving away instantly. "Why do you always do this? Just give it back," I whispered, thankful that there weren't many people around us.

"Because I want it, and I don't like not getting what I want." The darkness cloaked us, the only light was coming from the screen that occasionally illuminated Edward's face in an array of colours.

"Well, it's not yours to have," I said irritably. "It will _never_ be yours to have." I suddenly realized we were no longer talking about popcorn.

He studied me for a second longer before bringing it to my lips and whispering into my ear, "You better enjoy it while you can," he said, his voice full of resolve. I pulled the popcorn from his fingers with my mouth, my tongue accidentally making contact with his skin.

I was not prepared for the feeling of it.

My tongue tingled and I heard Edward take a sharp breath. My taste buds were telling me to go back for another taste, the sweetness of the popcorn with the slight saltiness of his skin fogging my mind from reason. His thumb pressed against my bottom lip as his face moved into view, my breath catching when I saw the look in his eyes. I knew I should move, especially when he started to move that little bit closer in the already snug seats, but I was frozen. _Put yourself on defrost and move idiot._

He hesitated a moment, his thumb removing itself slowly, dragging my lip down with it until it bounced it's way back up. His mouth was right fucking there and I could feel his breath coating my own. We locked our eyes and just stared, neither one of us moving. Before I had time to dwell on anything else, the lights came back on and I realized the movie had finished. We both shot back into our seats, me fiddling with my bag while Edward stood and ran his hands through his hair. Thankfully Angela and Ben were too caught up in themselves to notice anything, and for that I was relieved. Edward quickly excused himself, saying bye to Ben and Angela before jogging up the steps without a word or backwards glance to me. _What the fuck just happened?_

"You ready, Bella?" Angela smiled, her hand still linked with Ben's. I nodded my head and stood, silently following them out of the theatre.

"Is it alright if I drop Bella home first?" Ben asked her once we were seated in the car, me now in the back alone.

Angela quickly turned to look at me and I gave her a wink, causing her to blush. "Yeah, that's fine," she replied.

We talked about the movie on the drive home and how rubbish the ending was. I just agreed with them, as I honestly had no clue how it finished. Ben offered to walk me to the door all gentlemanly and shit as the one street lamp outside my house was broken. Angela was practically bursting with pride at the offer. I waved him off and thanked him for the lift, giving Ang a hug and telling her I'd see her in school Monday.

I closed the front door behind me and ran up the stairs to get ready for bed. I sent a text to Charlie to let him know that I was home then started my nightly ritual of washing my face, brushing my teeth, changing into pyjamas, and putting my dirty clothing in the basket to be washed. I settled into bed, pulling the comforter to my chin and scolded myself for once again being so stupid. I would be spending tomorrow with Jake and that thought made me smile. I would forget about this. I knew I wouldn't have let anything happen back there, I didn't want to kiss Edward Cullen. I was just momentarily in shock that he would dare try such a thing. His reaction however confused me. He was openly trying to get me to give in, and when I was once again left in a daze caused by what I'm going to call "misplaced hormones," he bolted and didn't stick around to gloat. I shook my head. I wouldn't think of it any longer.

I closed my eyes and sighed, thinking I really should look into that repellent spray after all.

* * *

**I will be moving house at the start of January, so I probably won't be able to get the next chapter up until some time towards the end of that month, but then after that I will be able to get back to my weekly posting. I want to wish you all a very merry Christmas and a happy New Year, and thanks for reading.**

**Reviews are greatly appreciated. :)**


	10. Chapter 10

**Hey everyone! Thanks for being so patient in regards to this chapter. I know it can be irritating when RL gets in the way, but hopefully I will now be able to stick to a weekly posting.**

**Thanks to all the new readers and constant reviewers. I cherish each one I read.**

**And as ever thank you to my amazing beta SusanQ. She deserves so much praise.**

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns all things Twilight. So very unfortunate for the rest of us.**

* * *

Bella

My rain boots sloshed in the shallow puddles of residual rain left behind from the downpour we received during the early hours of the morning. I pulled my coat tighter around me, keeping my arms crossed across my chest and quickened my pace. I had opted to walk to Jake's. I knew it would probably take me ages, but I wanted to clear my head and take in the greenery that was both suffocating and beautiful. Apart from my mother, that was one thing I missed from Phoenix – the ability to just go for a walk whenever you wanted. I know it sounds like a somewhat frivolous thing to miss considering I was in no way athletically inclined, but due to the weather here, outdoor spontaneity was never really a feasible option. I didn't like the feeling of being cooped up or trapped.

The beach came into sight. Up in front, the wooden housing of my destination peeked out among a thinly dispersed gathering of trees. The beach here in La Push had always been my distraction of choice. The seemingly never ending stretch of sand beneath your feet and the sound of salt water breaking against the shore always leaving a calming and relaxing sense of being. Just another reason why I used to spend so much time down here in previous years.

Loud, cheerful voices assaulted my ears as soon as I started on the dirt path leading to the front door, causing me to stop and smile at a scene I was once familiar with. I saw the faded net curtains twitch in my periphery and knew it would be Billy on one of his random trips to the window in his chair. The door was soon pulled open to reveal a sleepy Jake, his crinkled shirt evidence of his just awakened state. He drew me into a hug as soon as I was in reaching distance and planted a kiss on the top of my head.

"Morning Bells," he yawned, smiling lazily at me as I withdrew myself from his arms.

"Morning sleepyhead, I guess I should have called first," I laughed, as he closed the door behind us.

"No, no it's fine, I just had a bit of a late night," he said, directing me into their small but cozy living room. Billy was doing up the last few buttons on his jacket, trying not to get his long, dark hair, that was flowing out from beneath his hat, caught among them.

"Hey Billy, on your way out?" I asked, sitting myself down in the lovingly-worn armchair by the window. That mischievous twinkle in his eye suddenly became more prominent and I knew that whatever was about to come out of his mouth would be of the teasing nature.

"Yeah, I'm heading off to see if I can pick up any women," he said looking sideways to see if Jake was listening to him. _He loved to wind-up his son._ "I'll probably start down by the store as Mrs. Geoff, the regular checkout lady, always gets particularly excited when I stop by to get a few things - especially when she notices the beer on the conveyor belt. I think she's a bit of a party animal," he winked. I shook my head laughing, used to, but never tired of these kinds of statements.

"Isn't she married?" I asked, playing along and then genuinely thinking back to remember if I had ever seen a ring on her left hand. But then, that wasn't really helpful since I wasn't in the market for picking up elderly women, so it wouldn't be a thing I would normally take notice of.

"Word is she's into women," Jake announced, looking off into space and cringing. _Yeah, I doubt he's got such a great mental image right now. Silly boy._

"Even better," Billy laughed. Jake stepped off the couch and instantly hauled a throw cushion at his father.

"That is just wrong, Dad," he said, covering his face with his hands and half laughing, half groaning. "And not something I want to hear about ever again. I'll never be able to go the store without wanting to run straight back out." His voice sounded a little forlorn and I wondered just how serious he was about the whole thing. I looked to Billy to see him silently chuckling to himself while listening to Jake's declarations.

"What, and miss out on those famous homemade muffins Embry's grandmother bakes and sells?" Billy asked, just waiting for Jake's head to snap up and retract his earlier voicing.

Jake didn't disappoint.

"I think I'll be fine after all," he grinned. The store on the outskirts of the Rez was quaint and sold a lot of home-baked goods from the locals that lived here. Old Mrs. Call's blueberry muffins had been Jake's favourite for years - and obviously still were.

Billy wheeled himself to the door just as a car pulled up outside. "Right, I'm off kids. Be good," he said as he grabbed his fishing gear that was already by the door. _Of course that's where he was going. I'm sure I would have a fresh catch of fish waiting for me at home on my return. Lovely._

"Bye," I called out as the door closed behind him. I turned my head back to Jake and rested my chin in the palm of my hand, my elbow digging into my thigh as I smiled gently at him. "So what's this surprise you have for me?" I asked, suddenly becoming impatient, which is just another reason why I hated surprises.

"You'll find out later. How about you cook for me while I shower?" he asked, leaning back on the sofa with his hands rested behind his head. I scowled at him as he just smirked in response. I tried to retain my scowl but it was pointless, it was almost as hard to stay serious with Jake as it was with Alice.

"I suppose I could do that," I said, finally giving in and just grinning. "But it's a one time thing Jacob Black, I am no one's waitress," I stated while standing.

"Well technically, you're going be cooking also, so the term 'waitress' isn't exactly correct," he laughed, as I threw the cushion he had thrown earlier at his father back at him.

"Jerk!" I shouted at his back as he disappeared - still chuckling loudly - into the bathroom. I shook my head while smiling and slipped into the typical disorganized and untidy kitchen. "_Men,"_ I muttered to myself as I set to work on clearing some of the surfaces of dirty plates and left-out food items. I heard the shower start and quickly made a batch of pancake batter and ladled it onto the hot pan.

The kitchen was in much better order by the time Jake had entered in his clean, slightly torn light denim jeans and white t-shirt. His clean, fresh ocean-like smell belonging to him assaulted my senses over that of the food piled on the plate in front of me on the counter. "Thanks Bells," he said kissing the top of my head. I wrung the the dish cloth between my hands, thinking about whether I should bring up these little shows of affection and what exactly they meant to him, but if I was being honest with myself, I didn't think I was quite ready to go down that particular road yet. He ate in silence while I washed the pan and few utensils, wiping down the surfaces afterward with some lemon scented cleaner.

A large set of hands turned me away from the sink, Jake had that same mischievous look that his dad so often had. He pulled me off the ground and flipped me over his shoulder, breaking out into a jog. "Jake," I squealed as I started bouncing somewhat upside down as he took us both outside and started towards the old workshop. I attempted to push myself up a bit but I couldn't catch my balance. Jake just laughed the entire time and I ended up putting my hands over my eyes as the ground below me started to blur from his sudden increase of pace. We finally stopped and my eyes opened only to be met with a pair of black leather biker-style boots. As I felt myself being righted once more on the ground, I allowed my gaze to travel up from the leather boots all the way up to the top of her head. _She was stunning_. Long ebony hair, dark, intense eyes that appeared to hold a hard glint, and flawless russet toned skin. _There must be something in the water around here, every other person I meet is a looker. _I actually found her a little intimidating, just as I had done with Rose in our first meeting. She wasn't smiling at me - or seemed likely to do so - she was just watching me take her in.

"Hey Leah, I wasn't expecting you today," Jake said, walking to her to bump her shoulder with his, completely ignorant to the silent appraisals that were occurring right before his eyes.

"I wanted to see if you had recovered from last night. You'd had quite a bit to drink and I'm sure Billy wouldn't have wanted to touch your sorry ass if you had been lying in your own vomit," she said evenly without taking her eyes from my form. I was no longer looking at her, instead choosing to focus my attention on Jake and shift uncomfortably from foot to foot. He smiled and shook his head, glancing momentarily back at me before he seemed to realize that he hadn't introduced us.

"Bella, this is my friend Leah that I told you about," he said, shifting his head to the left in her direction. I looked at him for a few seconds before refocusing my gaze back on Leah and gave a half smile.

"So, this is my somewhat neighbour that I've heard so much about?" she asked before I could give her some sort of greeting. "It's nice to finally have a face put to the name, he never shuts up about you," she said, flicking her eyes sideways to Jake, who was now mildly blushing.

"Yeah, that would be me; neighbour to you, and friend of Jake," I laughed, watching his cheeks darken in colour.

"Yeah, yeah," he said clearing his throat. "We still on for the movies tonight? I think that horror movie Paul wants to see is still playing," he asked Leah quickly, effectively changing the subject.

"Sure," she answered. "Does Bella here want to join us?" she asked, waiting for my response.

"I can't. Sorry, I already have plans with Alice and Rose," I explained, hoping she wouldn't think I was purposely avoiding her as this was twice in the last two days I'd had to decline spending time in her company.

"You saw that movie last night anyway, right?" Jake asked while shoving his hands in his jeans pockets. I nodded in response, hoping he would leave it there. _No such luck._ "Who did you go with again?" I could feel my palms start to sweat a little. Do I lie to him, or tell him the one person he seems to hate most in the world was present? I knew I wouldn't – and couldn't – tell him about mine and Edward's almost "whatever" as I'm positive that wouldn't go down too well, and the fact that I could feel Leah's gaze burning a hole in the side of my head wasn't helping matters. _Make a decision dumbass before she tackles you to the ground and starts forcing you to talk. _God I really hope she doesn't do that.

"Umm... I thought I told you already?" I replied, hoping to jog his memory. _I am the queen of wishful thinking._

"You probably did, I just can't remember," he shrugged, averting his gaze. _Hmm I don't believe you. _The child in me started chanting "liar, liar pants on fire."

Time to cut the shit I guess. "It was just Angela, Ben, myself...and err Edward." I said the last name a little jumbled, expelling it into the chilly air as fast as possible. I kicked a loose piece of dirt with my shoe, the wet clump splattered my boots in the process. I could see Leah looking at me curiously. I didn't like it. _What is it with this girl?_ Perhaps she was the female way inclined?

Jake cleared his throat. "Edward. Really?" He paused, waiting for me to make eye contact I'm sure. I begrudgingly complied. "You seem to be spending an awful lot of time with him lately." I scrunched up my brow, irritated that he would bring this up.

"I've spent like...a half hour with him for a project. He got invited by Ben last night, I didn't even know he'd be there," I sighed. I was getting frustrated. "What's all this about?" He shook his head and started tapping his closed fist against his thigh.

"I don't like him," was his response. I rolled my eyes. _Yeah, I already know this._ Leah was looking at Jake as if she was unhappy at something, her mouth drawn into a somewhat frown. I think she must have sensed my staring as the expression quickly disappeared and was replaced with one of boredom. _I wonder what that look was for?_

"He's not that bad," she replied, shocking the hell out of me. I couldn't help the snort that flew from me. _Yeah right._

Her head whipped round to me with pace, an eyebrow arched in question. "Is he not a friend of yours, then?" she questioned, a small glint of something in her eyes.

"That would be a no," I said half chuckling. Why I was laughing though, I don't know. Nothing was evenly remotely funny about the situation I seemed to always find myself in with Edward. It was stressful, irritating and fucking confusing as hell. Definitely nothing humorous there.

"He takes advantage of people," Jake said angrily, bringing my attention back to him.

I went to ask him who specifically he was talking about, but Leah cut in before I could say anything. "We are not discussing this again. I will not explain it. I am fed up with the constant mentioning and questioning. I keep telling you this, so just stop!" she snapped. I wondered why she would get so angry, but then remembered Jake saying that she had some sort of history where Edward was concerned. Jake and Leah were staring daggers at each other, and I wondered if they would notice if I slowly backed away and left for home. _Where the fuck is Dorothy and her ruby red slippers when you need her? Hell I'd even take a munchkin for distraction purposes._

"I should go," she announced after what felt like five minutes of the most awkward silence, ever. Jake closed his eyes and exhaled a long sigh, running his hands harshly across his face.

"Sure, I'll see you later." He hesitated momentarily, glancing at her quickly before grabbing her hand to give it a light squeeze. I'm pretty positive he mouthed "sorry" to her before letting go of his hold, giving her a half smile. It was interesting to watch their interactions. I was sure she wouldn't accept his apology, what with her outward demeanour screaming "fuck you!" So I was surprised when she shrugged it off and punched him playfully on the arm. There was a lot I didn't understand about this, and I am never a nosy person, but I couldn't help but want to know more about what exactly had gone on between them all in the past. _This is a trait I obviously got from my mother. Charlie wouldn't care if I told him Emmett had run off to join the circus. He'd probably think the cultural experience would be of benefit to him and leave it at that._

"Bella, I'm sure I'll see you around," she announced evenly, with no smile or hint of niceties present, but then again she wasn't entirely unpleasant either. I think she was the type of person who liked to take in everything before making a decision. She came across as very guarded, which I completely understood and could somewhat relate to, as I myself found it hard to trust and be myself around people I'd never met. _Hopefully she would just stop the staring._

I didn't know how to construe her words, so I settled for the simple grin and nod technique. She stepped up on her toes to give Jake a kiss on the cheek - him watching me the entire time, possibly waiting for some type of response. _Did he want me to feel jealous? Should I feel jealous? God I'm even irritating myself today with all my asinine questions._ She took one last look in my direction before turning to leave. We both watched until she disappeared down the path, a whole lot of confusion and intrigue left brewing in her wake.

"So that was Leah." _My idiocy obviously knows no bounds._ "She's...intense, and insanely beautiful. Kind of scary actually," I voiced truthfully. Jake protruded his bottom lip while in thought, nodding his head slowly. _Shit, was that rude?_ "I'd like to get to know her a little better," I added quickly, hoping this would snap him out of his funk. It wasn't a lie either, I just hope I don't go all Nancy Drew on her ass with my curiosity.

"I'm sure she'd like that," he grinned, scratching absently at his stomach. "She only really has her cousin as female company, but she hasn't been around there much lately. I'm sure she'd enjoy the girlie company."

"If she's looking for girlie activities, I think you should send her in Alice's direction," I laughed.

"That's not what I meant," he snorted. "Does she seem the type of girl to primp herself for hours at a time to you?" _Good point_.

"No," I said, shaking my head, tucking a stand of loose hair behind my ear. "No, she doesn't." _Some people have all the luck...and apparently now I'm turning bitter. Wow, perhaps I should start drinking heavily while I'm at it and go with all the clichés?_

"You ready for your surprise?" he asked beaming, looking so childlike in his eager state. I rolled my eyes, feigning disinterest, and followed him to the old workshop. The placement of the wooden planks were still a little wonky and chipped in places, the odd nail-head sticking out to no doubt catch and tear on a piece of clothing without your consent. I was surprised it had lasted as long as it had while still staying in relatively good condition, especially when so many pranks and play fighting had gone on – and probably still did – in that very space.

"Brings back memories, huh?" Jake asked. I don't know how long I had been standing there smiling like a goof-ball. I just hope I hadn't zoned out for too long.

"Something like that," I said, walking over to the window ledge to see if a piece of my childhood still remained. I remembered being too short to see out of this window, always scowling at the fact that Jake, Embry and Quil had shot up one summer on my visit. I knew there would be nothing I couldn't see by just going outside to look, but I was stubborn - still am in fact. So they started marking my height and teased me relentlessly about how short I had been, saying people only did this with babies. Looking at the dusty, cobwebbed state of address it was in, it seemed so incredibly stupid. I turned at the sound of rustling to see Jake standing by a rather large mound covered in some old dust sheets.

"What's that you've got hidden under there?" I inquired, tilting my head to the side. "If it's something illegal, I may have to report you. I happen to know the Chief around these here parts," I smirked, speaking in an accent that wasn't recognizable.

"I know," he grinned. "This just happens to be your surprise." I scrunched my brows in confusion. _Huh?_

"Err...you shouldn't have?" It came out as more of a question than anything else. "Who doesn't need more bedding items? I'm sure with a wash, _or fifty_, those sheets will be good as new." Jake laughed at this, tipping his head back to face the roofing.

"It's what's _under_ the sheets, Bella, not the sheets themselves...although if you want them, they're yours," he replied winking.

"And who said that men aren't good at choosing gifts?" I teased, now standing beside Jake and the oddly shaped mound.

"Ready?" he questioned. I nodded my head eagerly, biting my lip in anticipation. The material gave way easily and I heard a gasp unconsciously leave my lips. I couldn't stop the huge ass grin that spread across my face.

"Really, I get to ride one?" I asked, practically vibrating with nerves and excitement. He gestured with his hand to the bikes in affirmation, earning a very unheard of squeal from me. "Jake, this is perfect," I said, flinging my arms around his neck to give him a hearty squeeze. Billy had had these bikes for years – well I say bikes, they were more scrapyard material – but Jake refused to let him get rid of them, stating that one day when he was able to, he would fix them up. We had admired them many times as kids, me saying that I would get Charlie to buy me one, then we could go riding together. Of course, when we'd eagerly asked my dad in our childlike exuberance, we were given a fairly long talk on how there would be no way I would be getting on one of those "death traps" in my future, and that it was far too dangerous to even consider. I think it was one of the first times I'd ever cried over something that wasn't of the physical nature. Yes I may have only been ten years old at the time, but I really had wanted one that bad. Finally, it looked like that one day had surprisingly arrived for me to get my go.

"When did you finish?" I questioned while running my hand along the cool metal, taking a mental inventory of what was placed where so I would be prepared and ready as soon as he gave the get-go.

"I finished this one about a year back now," he said pointing to the black model. "And this one was probably completed about three months ago or so," he vocalized, pushing the red one in my direction. "So what do you say to having your very first lesson?"

"I say that I am extremely thankful that our parents like fishing so much," I laughed, knowing full well that if Billy was around he would so be telling Charlie about our little activity...and that would not end well.

We pushed them towards the back of the workshop to where the miles of clear muddy road lay. The heavy-set trees all protruded reds and oranges with their autumn leaves, each one lining both sides like my own personal runway.

I looked from him, to the road, back to the bike. I bit my lip to stop my smile as my cheeks were hurting from all the grinning I'd been doing already today, and I knew I wouldn't be stopping any time soon. _I need to pace myself otherwise I could do myself some serious damage and go around permanently looking like the damn joker...except a less creepy version, I hope_. We both stopped and looked at one another, the happiness in his eyes sure to match my own. "You ready to get dirty?" he asked, a playful smirk on his face. I looked down at my already mud splattered jeans and thought it's a good thing I knew how to use a washing machine as I'm sure the "tramp" look wasn't in in season. _I'll definitely check with Alice later though, just to make sure_.

I saddled my bike and gave him a wink. "I'm ready."

Edward

I hit a wrong note in the music for what felt like the hundredth time. I had been able to play this particular piece since I was like twelve, it was a favourite and I could do it in my sleep, and yet there I sat, fucking it up as if I were a beginner. My phone rang _again_, it's illuminated screen vibrating in wayward movements along the top of my piano. _Would they stop calling already!_ They had been doing it for hours now, and I was really starting to lose my patience. _Take a hint girls, I'm not in the mood._ I could blame their annoying attempts as the reason for my distracted behaviour, but it would be a lie. I know what it was that had me all stressed and preoccupied, but I didn't know if I wanted to think about it right now. I already had a shit night sleep from berating myself endlessly and I wanted a break, so I came to play, even if it was pretty late. _At least I knew I wouldn't be disturbing anyone on this part of the house_.

It was that kiss. Well it wasn't even a kiss, it was an almost kiss, but the intent was still fucking there. I didn't ever kiss on the mouth, it was not something I did or wanted to do. It showed affection and desire where it is not meant or needed. That may have made me sound like an asshole, but it made things less complicated for everyone involved. It stopped people from getting hurt when emotions were left at the door. Or in my usual case, Australia or some shit. Needless to say, I didn't like any of it. I just hoped that she wouldn't bring it up and I could continue with my game plan; make Swan scream my name in pleasure and prove she was nothing special. I ran my hands through my hair, thinking perhaps I should just drop this whole thing. I mean, why was it so important that she acted differently around me compared to other girls? I wouldn't usually care or put as much effort into it as I had been doing. It shouldn't matter, and yet I knew it did, which was even more frustrating. _I really am a dick sometimes._

I went back to playing, praying that I could finally get some respite. The door swinging open automatically dispelled that. Doesn't look like I'll be getting that quiet break after all.

"Jeez Em, can't you fucking open a door without trying to take it off it's hinges?" I said irritably, getting off the bench in defeat.

"Quit your bitching Bro, I'm stressed," he replied all dramatically with a hurt expression on his face. I raised my brows at this – it's was very rare something got Em down. Jazz entered behind him, rolling his eyes before looking at me and shaking his head while motioning to somewhere down the hall.

"What's going on?" I asked, waiting for one of them to answer the question.

"He's depressed and thinks you'll be able to help," Jazz answered, smiling to himself.

I turned to look at my brother. "Seriously, Em, do I look like a therapist? Go write a blog or some shit."

"I'm surprised you haven't heard them yet," he responded cryptically. _What is he talking about?_

"You're going to have to give me a little more than that," I sighed, going to stand in front of him. "Who should I be able to hear?"

"The girls, they're in the den having some pyjama party or something, and we weren't invited," he pouted, shoving his hands sulkily into his shorts pockets.

"Yeah, so?" I voiced. I mean it's not unusual for Rose and Alice to do girlie stuff around here.

"But they're being loud and there is singing and I just know Rose is in some slinky set and I want to see it," he mumbled like a baby, earning a snort from Jazz.

"Well just walk in then," I retorted irritably. _There problem solved, now let me get back to my self chastisement._

"That's where you come in," Jazz interrupted. "Rose threatened us to stay away, and I can't stand hearing him whine any more, so considering she technically didn't say anything to you, he wants you to barge in first. That way he keeps his balls."

I looked between the two of them with my best "fucking pussies" face and made my way past them out of the room. "Why are they in there anyway? They usually do that shit in Alice's room."

"Probably because Bella's with them and there's more room for...well, whatever it is they're doing," Jazz answered from behind me. _Bella's with them? Of course she damn well would be. Great._

"Thanks Bro, I really appreciate it," Em said all seriously, as if this was some major favour I was doing him. I just rolled my eyes and mumbled a "whatever" and started down the steps to the den. I stopped with my hand paused on the door handle. There was singing and music and overall loudness...and a crap load of giggling. Okay, even I was a little curious now. I turned back to look at my brother and best friend, a confused expression on my face. Em's face was all "I fucking told you so" while Jazz just shrugged his shoulders, appearing all calm as usual, but the look in his eyes told me he was itching to get in here too. I didn't bother knocking or making our presence known, I just pushed the door open and walked in. _Jesus Christ._

Swan was dressed in this tiny little set, her legs on proud display in a pair of black boy shorts, matching cami and this woolen type cardigan thing, her hair swinging loose around her face as she twirled around giggling with my sister and Rose.

"You see that shit, right?" Em asked, slapping a hand on my shoulder. I honestly hadn't taken my eyes off the brunette since walking in the room, and I certainly hadn't been listening if he had spoken, so I wasn't sure as to what precisely he was on about, but I knew that they had been dancing - perhaps that was it. A whispered "oh shit" from Jazz snapped my attention to the others in the room. Alice was trying to look angry but she kept laughing. Rose however was standing, hands on hips, shooting us all daggers. _My hands unconsciously moved in front of my dick. Huh, good move._ Bella on the other hand ran full pelt towards Emmett, jumping up for him to catch her.

"It's my protective bear," she giggled, her legs wrapping around his waist and her arms swooping to gather around his neck. "I think Rose is mad at you," she attempted covertly, her hand by her mouth, making me think she had meant to whisper. _Yeah, that didn't happen. She had obviously forgotten you had to lower the volume of your voice for that to take effect._ Alice for some reason found this hilarious, even Rose cracked a smile.

"Is that so?" Em grinned, looking cautiously over her shoulder at the somewhat angry blonde. It suddenly occurred to me that they were all completely wasted, Bella especially. "You been having fun, my little SVB?" he asked, her head bobbing up and down in response.

"Yep," she simply responded, poking her fingers at the dimples in his face, earning a snort from Rose.

"So, what have you girls been up to?" Jazz asked, walking over to a swaying Alice while keeping one eye on his twin.

"Just stuff, you know, girlie things, nothing you'd be interested in," Alice slurred, hopping up onto Jazz's back, catching him off guard, her face instantly nuzzling into his neck.

Em carefully placed Bella back on the ground, making sure she could stand properly before letting go. "Have you girls been drinking without us?" he asked, knowing full well that they were all tanked.

"That's none of you business," Rose answered, walking straight at Em with a dangerous look on her face. I thought she was for sure going to slap him or something, but she just grabbed the back of his head and brought his mouth down to hers. _Well, I guess that solves that problem then. My work here is done._

I went to head on out when I felt a hand latch on to my arm. I looked down into the flushed face of Swan, her eyes shining and slightly glazed over. I tried not to look at her state of dress, but it was pretty fucking hard not to when she was standing right in front of me. I could see she wasn't wearing a bra. A groan threatened to erupt when I got to those perfect long, creamy legs of hers. My mind suddenly filled with images of many different scenarios in which those legs came into play. I _hated_ that she had this obvious effect on me. I didn't want it happening with _her._

"What?" I asked, my focus now back in the area above her shoulders. She had this cute little scowl on her face, head tilted to the side as if she was trying to get a read on me or something, those fucking eyes of hers prying once again. I had a very strong urge to run, which was absolutely pathetic. I had to fight to shut it down. I took a look around the room and noticed Ali and Jazz getting a game from one of the shelves of the bookcase, and Rose was perched in Em's lap, whispering something in his ear that put a bright grin on his face. _I really didn't even want to think what that was about._

"You are the most confusing, infuriating person I have ever met, I thought I'd just let you know," she said, licking her bottom lip and momentarily distracting me.

"Is that right? Well thanks for the memo," I replied dryly, wondering if I could go now. I was not in the mood to chit-chat or play games at this moment in time. "So, if that will be all?" I sighed, planning on turning around.

"No, that's not all!" she snapped, her chin jutting out in preparation for whatever it was she was about to let forth. "You nearly hit me with your car and then were a complete asshole to me - for no apparent reason I might add - and I want to know why?" Her expression was serious, and kind of stern. Well fuck me, did I even know how to answer that one myself?

"What does it matter?" I snapped, hoping the sharpness of my voice would make her back off.

She took a step forward, her hand playing with a piece of imaginary fluff on the sleeve of my hoodie before looking straight at me. "It matters to me," she whispered, a crease forming between her brows. _Shit, she better not cry. I fucking hate seeing girls cry. Swan wasn't a crier, she would just give me shit back. She must be a forgetful, emotional and yet pensive drunk. Hell she's probably a whole fucking cocktail. _I opened my mouth to reply but couldn't think of an appropriate response to that, so I just left it floating in the air between us. I was growing increasingly uncomfortable with her scrutiny. Only Esme did that shit to me, and I only let her because she's my mother.

"What exactly have you lot been drinking anyway?" I asked for a change in topic, watching Alice giggle from her place on the floor while Jazz was trying to help her back to her feet.

Bella's face scrunched up in thought for a second, her teeth biting into that damn bottom lip. "Something about poultry," she said, laughing when she'd heard what she'd said. "I can't remember, but I think it may have had something to do with a chicken...or maybe duck. I have no idea," she blushed, losing her balance slightly, resulting in me grabbing her shoulders gently to keep her upright, thus causing her to giggle once more. I let out my own laugh. It was just too funny not to.

"Don't laugh at me," she smiled, playfully slapping my arm. I sat her down next to me on the couch as I didn't think she could stand by herself, and I sure as hell wasn't going to stand there all evening and keep her upright. _Did I look like a babysitter? I think not._

"Grey Goose?" I prompted, watching as her face lit up in recognition. I looked over to a sheepish looking Rose who had obviously heard the last part of out conversation, if not more. _That explains a lot. This girl doesn't look much like a drinker, no wonder she's three sheets to the wind._

"Yes, that's it," she said, slapping my thigh happily and causing me to shift in my seat awkwardly as she hadn't yet removed her hand. I knew I was being slightly ridiculous considering my aim, but she was drunk, and I would never make a move on someone who wasn't completely coherent, especially while I was sober and knew better. Her thigh was touching mine, my urge to touch her soft skin was so strong I thought I might have to fucking sit on my palms. She had unknowingly and unconsciously turned the tables on my ass. She was teasing me without having a fucking clue she was even doing it. Unless she was aware, in which case I was in trouble. That in itself showed just how damn well dangerous that girl could be. I mean, she already had half the male population at school mesmerized with just _her_. No bullshit layers of cosmetics, no fake promises or attitude, just herself, which once again was rare in this small town, where most mothers had all brought their daughters up as little miss pageant queens, entering them in any competition that they could find nearby. I remember Jessica showing me pictures of herself when she was really young, bright make-up and fake lashes stuck to her face, acting as if it was some kind of achievement. I thought it was sick and just plain wrong to do that to a kid, treating them as a doll. Their parents should take them to the park, or teach them to ride a bike, now show them how to curl their hair and how much hairspray to use. Kids should be allowed to be just that; a kid. There's plenty of time for the other stuff when they're older.

"Belllllllaaaaa," Alice sang, skipping over to us, never once in a straight line. I thought for sure she would end up skipping right out of the room. Fuck knows where the girl would end up. "Me and Jazz want to play Twister, come play with us," she said, extending her hand for Bella to take.

"I would, but I don't know if I can move," she laughed, her head drifting lazily to one side of her head to rest her cheek on the back of the sofa. Alice snorted in her own laughter before skipping over to Em and Rose, asking them the same question.

"You should go play," I told her as Rose stumbled her way with Alice over to the mat, Em following behind them both while cracking his knuckles. _Twister was his "thing" as he had yet to be beaten._

"I'm fine here," she replied. My phone went off again, the urge to throw it across the room grew increasingly stronger. I shouldn't have worried though. Bella snatched the device from my hands, glaring at the caller's name.

"Do you want to speak with..." she glanced at the phone again, obviously having forgotten the name within the five second time span. "Jane?" I shook my head in the negative. I went to grab it back off her and switch it off, which I never liked to do, as last time it resulted in a few persons at the door. _They were so not welcome here._

My mouth gaped open as she accepted the call. "He doesn't want to speak with you, he's busy. K, thanks, bye," and with that the phone was chucked blindly over her shoulder, landing with a smack on the back of Emmett's head. He looked grumpily at Rose, thinking she had reprimanded him for something with her usual form of discipline. I covered a snicker.I stared at her in disbelief, about to shout at her for throwing my possessions around the room, but she cut me off.

"But...ooh guess what I did today?" she voiced, squeezing my leg hard in her evident excitement before clumsily scrambling to her knees to face me. Her thoughts were going a mile a minute. "I rode today and got really dirty. I'd wanted to do it for years and finally me and Jake did it." _What the fuck? Was she seriously talking to me about her and that weasel-dick's sexual activities?_ I could feel my fists clench in response at the thought of him doing anything with her before I had. _Why should that matter? As long as it happens, that's all that counts._

"That's...err yeah. Good for you," I finally managed to reply through clenched teeth. What she did next shocked the hell out of me, and just proved her inebriated state. She fucking saddled me, those damn legs resting on either side of my own. She would never initiate contact like this if she was in her right mind.

"I know, and I want to do it again, and again," she said earnestly while seemingly gazing at nothing. "Perhaps you and me could do it one day?" she suggested, turning those chocolate pools on me. I swear I nearly choked on my own spit. _Is this really Bella? Am I about to get punked?_ "Oh but wait, Jake kind of hates you, so I don't think he'd let you go for a ride." _She's killing me here._

"And why would he decide that?" I asked, closing my eyes and taking a deep breath as she had started to fidget in my lap, making something rather excited.

"Well, they belong to him, he's just fixed them up recently, so yeah." I cranked an eye open and stared at her confusedly. _Huh? She sounded like she was talking about breast enlargement now. I can never keep up with her._ I took a swift look at her boobs. _Yep, __definitely a natural girl. _She was no longer paying attention to me, her fingers were playing with the ends of her hair, her face contorted in what appeared to be thought.

"Wait, what exactly are we talking about here?" I needed clarification. She might as well have been talking fucking Swedish for all the sense she was making to me.

"Bikes. I fell off a few times, got a few bruises, but nothing serious, thank god. Otherwise I would have ended up in the hospital with Dr. DILF, which most likely would have resulted in me making a fool of myself even more." _What the hell is she on about now? Who is Dr. DILF? _She wiggled again and pulled an arm out the sleeve of her cardigan, showing a few small bruises that were scattered along her pale skin. I acknowledged the fact that my fingers were moving towards them, despite my thoughts telling me not to. Thankfully, shouting broke my movements off, both of us shifted until we could easily see the others on the floor. Rose was in some backwards crab pose, Alice was in a small ass ball, Jazz was actually still standing mostly upright, while Em looked to be doing a pretty good job at the splits. _Man he takes this game seriously_.

"Isn't that hurting his peen?" Bella asked while motioning towards Emmett. I let out a loud guffaw, Rosalie losing her footing in the process, knocking Jazz down with her, making me laugh even harder. Bella had her hand over her mouth, attempting to stifle her own laughter. _Needless to say it didn't work_. We both laughed as they started arguing, Rose flicking her brother in the forehead, him doing it back to her almost instantly. And Alice, well she was _so_ cheating. She had a damn feather boa around her neck which she was using to sweep under Em's back foot on the sly, trying to push him off balance. _Sneaky pixie._

"Oh my god, did you see Rose? She looked like a crab," she said breathlessly while wiping stray tears from her eyes. "She's so going to kick your ass for distracting her, or pinch you." She laughed at her own lame joke, a snort leaving my own mouth at her sheer ridiculousness. A light sting came from my arm and I realized she was actually pinching me. It didn't hurt as she was using no pressure, it tickled more than anything. She had this mischievous spark in her eye that made her innocent appearance seem anything but. I batted her hands away a few times with a stern expression on my face, which she completely mocked. I'd never seen this side to her before. I didn't know what to think of it.

"I'm warning you," I told her seriously, raising a brow for emphasis. She leaned forward a bit more, a smirk forming on her face.

"You don't scare me," she said genuinely, her fingers fiddling the open zipper of my hoodie. When I felt a rather hard pinch on my torso I didn't think, I just did the first thing that came to mind.

I mercilessly tickled her.

Her pleading screams rang through the already noise-filled room, her body completely wriggling, making it hard for me to keep her safe from hitting the floor. I flipped her over so her back was flat on the sofa cushions, making my attempts a lot easier.

"Please, please," she laughed, her fingers trying to halt my movements. I knelt between her legs, bringing my face within closer contact to hers.

"Are you sorry?" I asked, knowing her stubborn nature. She didn't answer straight away, just like I knew she wouldn't. I increased my pressure, tears now streaming down her face, a smile on my own face as I watched her giggle uncontrollably. "Are you?" I asked again.

"Yes, yes, okay I'm sorry," she managed to get out. I halted my movements, watching as she took a few deep breaths to get her breathing back to normal.

"Good," I said while pushing myself back as she wiped her eyes. Her gaze met my own, and for the first time it wasn't hateful or teasing, just simply content and cheerful. She flicked her gaze to my mouth, her brow furrowing in confusion. She went to speak, but before I had time to think much more of it, whooping rang out and she was lifted from the sofa by Emmett. He was singing the rocky theme song, occasionally shouting out "Adrian" while carrying Bella over his shoulder about the room. _I take it he won then._

Alice plopped herself down by me on the giant sofa, a pout on her face. "Even my trusty feather boa didn't work," she said, stroking the white feathers. I ruffled her hair while she rested her head on my shoulder. "We'll get him next time, won't we?" she whispered deviously. I thought she was talking to me at first, but then I saw her saying something else that I couldn't make out, and this time it definitely wasn't at me. Not going to lie, it was pretty fucking weird, even for Alice. _Okay, no more to drink for this twin. When she starts talking to inanimate objects made of feathers that's when it's time to stop._

"Ooh, ooh lets all get comfy and watch a movie." It wasn't a question, she'd already shot off the seat, stumbled into Rosalie. They both crawled over towards the to the DVD's, whispering and giggling every few seconds.

I looked around the room for Jazz and saw him, Emmett, and Bella huddled by our parents' bar. She was swinging her legs while sitting on a stool, watching Jazz shake a cocktail shaker above each shoulder as if he were Tom Cruise in Cocktail. Emmett was already drinking something, one of those damn mini umbrellas sticking out over the rim. Oh, and of course a shit load of what looked to be olives collected at the bottom. _Even when he's drinking he's got to be eating._ I settled out on the sofa, lying down and propping my feet on the opposite armrest to where my head was resting. I noticed Jazz had poured some of the concoction into six glasses, Bella immediately knocking hers back and eating the cherry from the bottom. Jazz shook his head laughing, while Em looked on in astonishment. When she fell trying to get down, Em picked her up, carrying her towards us. Alice and Rose were sprawled out on their respective blankets and pillows on the floor, leaving room on either side of them presumably for their respective others, and Bella.

Or maybe not.

Em plunked her down next to me, asking me to keep an eye on Forks' new drinking contestant for "Beer-Fest 2010" as she was a danger to herself. I didn't have much of a choice as she turned her back on me and started conversing stupidly with her two accomplices. When Alice started neighing like a horse for some fucked up reason – or impression, I wasn't entirely sure – and Rose started doing a very impressive imitation of her mother, I knew they'd all officially turned bat-shit crazy, and vowed never to let them near Vodka ever again if I was going to end up in proximity to any one of them.

Em and Jazz came over with the drinks, flicking the lights off on their way, leaving only the illumination from our giant projector screen to see their way to their spots by their girls. I declined the drink from Jazz, swiftly tapping Bella's hand away when she made a grab for it. I got the first glare of the evening from her, but I'd take it. S_he had already had enough_. I pulled a throw off the back of the couch as the start of 'Jeepers Creepers' came on, flinging it over the bottom half of Bella as she would most likely be cold – and also her legs were pretty fucking distracting. She turned her head and asked if I could see okay, her eyes hooded from the alcohol and probably now a little moody with me. I nodded my head, swiftly turning my attention back to the movie as she did the same.

All three girls – and occasionally Emmett - would fake gag or squeal at a particularly nasty bit. Bella started getting a bit restless, the smell of strawberries and spirits hitting me each time as her hair flung at my face. I was about to ask if she had a bobble or some shit to tie her hair up with when she turned to face me, her eyes closed and her lips moving with silent words. I felt a hand warm my face, soft fingers tracing the corners of my eyes. I wearily looked back towards Bella who was silently studying me again.

"You have pretty eyes, especially when you smile," she murmured, her eyes fluttering shut once more. Her mouth started moving again, and I was pretty certain that she was singing the song from the movie, something about peepers. Her eyelashes were continuing to occasionally flutter against the swell of her cheek, the movement kind of addictive to watch. She was obviously still heavily intoxicated, so I chose not to think much of her statement, however much something inside me was screaming for me to question her. I removed her hand from my face to rest between us. She really was quite pretty, and a complete enigma, and I really shouldn't have been lying there near her like that. It wasn't me. I focused back on the movie, watching as the creature started sniffing at a decapitated head, and then proceeded to eat the tongue. _Yeah, that was just fucked up._ Jazz made Alice jump by playfully making sniffing noises in her ear, earning an eye roll from me and a swift smack on the back of the head from Rose. Emmett grinned. _His head was finally getting a vacation._

I looked down at the sleeping figure beside me, her breathing now completely even. I sighed and ignored the fact that she had gotten progressively closer to me – presumably for body heat - and told myself I'd wait until the movie was over, then I could go to my room and hopefully get some much needed, and preferably undisturbed and dreamless sleep.

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**I'd love to hear your thoughts. Reviews, as ever, are greatly appreciated. Thanks for reading. xoxo**


	11. Chapter 11

**Hello readers! Thanks for all your reviews, they mean a lot.**

**I know a lot of you were asking if I had a twitter account - well... I have finally given in and gotten one. I am all lonely over there at the moment, so feel free to follow me. I'm VampsHaveLaws - link is on profile page. I will post mini teasers there for you all. :)**

**And not forgetting a huge thank you to my wonderful beta SusanQ - she is awesome.**

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns all things Twilight. If I were to somehow convert my dreams into a book, it would so end up in the crack section - no joke.**

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Bella

I had been having a wonderful dream; all sun, light and heat...and oddly cacti. Weird? Not for me. I've had this recurring dream where I have to leave all doors open in my house for the wolves to find me. I would be hiding in the same spot behind my sofa every time – then the next thing I know, I'd be on a huge-ass boat, the wolves all dressed as pirates, and they'd make me walk the plank. _I really should see a dream specialist about that shit, it can't be normal._

Anyway, I was back in Phoenix, playing on the swing-set Renee had gotten our old neighbour, Aro to put up for me when we first moved into the new neighbourhood. _She got bored easily and loved new scenery._ I don't know how old I was, maybe like six - give or take a year. I was happily swinging back and forth on my bright green swing with it's multi-coloured ropes, laughing every time my hair would drag along the dusty ground whenever I leaned my head back far enough. I was carefree and content, wearing my favourite t-shirt and dungarees, and a pair of wellies which made absolutely no sense considering that I wouldn't be coming into contact with anything wet. Even my style back then was questionable. _Alice would most likely have had a fit_. Then something strange happened. I literally thought I could see fire hazily making its way towards me, which again, was lacking the whole "logic" part. _Fire doesn't float, idiot_. The closer it got, the more I could see it wasn't fire at all, but in fact a boy around my own age. When he came within touching distance, it didn't take me long to recognize him. It was a young Edward. I stared at him wearily as he stopped in front of my swing set, causing me to swiftly halt my movement in case my momentum should knock him off his feet and cause him harm. His hand was drawn to his face, protecting his eyes from the sun and creating enough shade to enable to see me clearly. I didn't know what he was doing there. Wouldn't his parents be worried? I looked towards the kitchen window that my mother was standing at just moments before he had arrived, but she was no longer there. All that was evident was a lonely sunflower standing in the laughable vase I had made in school in pottery corner.

"What are you doing here?" I asked petulantly, squinting my eyes at the brightness.

"I got lost," he shrugged, the familiar green of his eyes so out of place in the yellows and tans surrounding us. I started chewing my bottom lip in thought, wondering how I could help him get home, when his much different voice broke into my reveries. "I bet you can't jump as high as I could from your swing," he goaded, his crooked grin I was so accustomed to, donning his face even at this young age.

"I can," I replied stubbornly, running my dust streaked hands across my face to remove the annoying wisps of hair getting in my way. He moved to the side with his little arms crossed in waiting, bringing my attention to his jumper with a big red car emblazoned on it, causing me to giggle. His face scrunched up in annoyance, obviously not liking being made fun of, so I turned my head away and started to swing. I got to a good height and could sense Edward watching me closely, waiting for my jump. I started to get a little scared and considered backing out, but his snigger and "I knew you couldn't" gave me the nudge I needed. I let go of my hold on the ropes and swiftly made my descent to the ground. Of course even in my dream I'm a klutz and didn't land on my feet. Instead, I made impact with my knees, tearing my dungarees and grazing my skin. I felt my lower lip start to tremble, and my tears fell unstoppably from my eyes. That big red car I had laughed at just moments before came in my line of sight, a concerned looking Edward stared at me guiltily.

"Are you okay, Bella?" he asked while staring at my knee. I wiped my nose with the back of my hand and shouted, "No!" at him. I tried to get up but hissed as I realized my hands were scraped too, more unwanted tears sprang forth.

"I'm sorry you got hurt," he mumbled, and uncharacteristically started wiping the tears from my face with his own, now-dirty hands from leaning on the ground. I pouted and looked at him wearily, but conceded when I decided he looked genuinely sorry.

"S'okay," I sniffed, standing upright and brushing myself off, rolling my eyes when I felt him help me, his little hands smacking against the denim material. "When are you going home?" I asked, watching his face morph into a scowl.

"I don't know, why? Do you want me to go?" I watched as his bright red sneakers toyed with a pebble that looked oddly in the shape of a half-moon, his shoulders slumped in his movement.

"No, you can stay and push for for a little while, if you want," I suggested, fiddling with the catches of my dungarees. _I remember those things being bitches to get off._

"Alright," he answered, an unsuccessful hidden smile forming at my offer. I smiled brightly at him before running over to my swing-set, sitting down and holding on carefully, making sure not to cause more damage to my grazed palms. I felt his hands gently start putting pressure on my back, my momentum gaining steadily. I couldn't stop the giggle that escaped me when I leaned backwards to watch him from upside down, my hair-watching from earlier seemed boring. He was shaking his head in amusement at my antics.

"I like your jumper. I want a red car when I grow up," I stated, nodding to myself. He seemed to think for a moment before deciding what he wanted to say.

"I want a silver one, just like my dad," he voiced proudly. I commented on it being a pretty colour, which caused his scowl to reappear, not at me though, just at the word "pretty."

I felt his movements stop and turned my head to ask why. Perhaps he was ready to go home now? "Here," he said handing me his jumper, "it's really hot here, it's making me too warm, you can wear it for a while."

It was pretty warm, stifling even, and I mean this was Phoenix, but I was pretty used to the heat by now so it was a little unsettling. I could also smell cinnamon and wondered if mum was baking? Then the heat started moving and mumbling? _Huh?_ Yeah, that's not meant to happen. I felt something squeeze me and realized that I must be rousing from slumber. Either that, or I had officially gone crazy. I was no longer in that half-conscious state where you realize that you are awake, yet somehow are still in dream mentality, and watch it all play out drowsily in your head. _God I hate it when that happens. _It certainly wasn't the first time Edward had been in my dreams, and I doubted it would be the last, but the fact it was with a younger us, and back in Phoenix... well that was very different. And of course, as usual, I had no idea what to make of it.

I pushed my face into the warmth, rubbing my nose delicately against the soft fabric of my pillow. Except it was too solid to be a pillow. _Was I sleeping on a rock? Had I sleep-walked and ended up with mountain folk? Or perhaps those creepy-ass birds in all the Disney movies – you know the ones that can understand you, and dress you, and wash dishes and shit – had kidnapped me and now I was living with seven dwarfs. I really shouldn't eat sugary foods before bed. Did I even eat anything sugary before bed last night? Oh my god I need to shut __up._ I hesitantly cracked an eye open and was met with blinding white. _Gah, what the heck? Ugh, painful head is not good._ I lazily pulled my head back with one eye still half open and noted that it wasn't a pillow, but in fact a human chest. _So...no dwarfs, then._ My body finally froze after understanding dawned on me. _Oh crap. _The body next to me started moving again, and I had a pretty good idea who it was, but really, really didn't want to believe it.

I tried to slip away without disturbing him, so I could work out how I ended up on the sofa with the last person I expected. That plan backfired when I practically got pinned beneath him in his sleep. _Crap, crap, crap, crap, crap._ The sneaking away thing wasn't going to work now. I turned my head to the left to see rumpled blankets and scattered pillows on the floor. I ran my tongue over the front of teeth, trying to remember what happened last night. I remember riding with Jake, then coming over to see Alice and Rose for a sleepover – well that part was pretty obvious considering I was in the Cullen's den. Now I just had to work out how I ended up sleeping here, instead of down there where I assumed the others must have slept. Okay, think. What else happened? Umm we talked, Alice gave me a manicure, Rose made me a fruity drink like the one from the bonfire that I had enjoyed so much...Rose! Dammit! A muffled groan sounded from above me and I realized with horror that he was waking up. _And hello...doesn't seem like _he's_ the only thing rising this morning._

His face pressed into the crook of my neck, and I swear he sniffed me. That's when realization that he wasn't alone must have sunk in. He suddenly froze, his weight became heavier against me. His face pulled back to display his shock, his eyes wide and his mouth agape. It would be quite comical if I wasn't so pissed off. Oh, and completely mortified.

"Yeah, perv you can get off me now," I snapped, not wanting to address the fact that his peen was trying to show some love to my thigh. _So, this is my first experience at witnessing what is referred to as "morning wood"... now if only I could tell my lonely hooha that this is not the time – or the correct person - to want to play with, everything would be great. Well, not great but definitely less awkward._

I was being given a major glare - as far as glares go, and couldn't stop myself from giving my own back. I flicked my gaze downwards, escaping his hostility and landing on his now flexing jaw.

"Well aren't you just sunshine in the mornings," he said tersely, resting himself up slightly on his elbows, effectively removing the majority of his body off my own and giving me a clearer view of his face. His hair was in more disarray than usual, a slight shadow of stubble evident along his jawline and his lips looked extra pouty. _God I hated the fact that he was so good looking._

"No, that would be just for you," I quipped, smiling sarcastically. His cheeks hollowed slightly as he sucked in his cheeks, before quickly changing to grind his teeth.

"You always know how to make me feel so special," he responded, looking me over. "And what kind of gentleman would I be if I didn't offer to reciprocate? Want me to make you feel special, Bella?" I swallowed the lump in my throat and considered kneeing him where it hurts. His typical smirk had made its appearance, making that urge to do so even more potent.

"Look, I don't know how to say this," I said, giving him what I hoped was a seductive look. _I was playing with him. I knew exactly what I was going to say, and it wouldn't be pretty._ I grabbed his hair roughly in my hands, dragging his head down until it was inches from my own. I could feel his breath hitting my face, but the look in his eyes distracted me from my next words. I could possibly see something akin to lust, but I swear he also looked _scared_.I opened my mouth to speak but stopped and looked away when I heard commotion coming from upstairs.

Emmett's voice could be heard over the others and I wondered what was going on up there. I quickly looked back at Edward and realized I still hand my hands in his hair. I instantly removed them and put them down at my sides, comprehending that I had finally touched _the hair_. I'd sit through hours of school listening to giggling girls at the table behind me, in front of me – basically anywhere - talk all about how "hot" he was, and discussing what he did to get his hair to style that way. I had wanted to touch his hair for so long, and it looked like when I eventually had the opportunity to do so, I didn't want to let go. _I hope this isn't the beginning of some weird fetish._

"Are you going to spit it out?" he asked, grabbing one of my hands, "or do you want to play with my hair some more?" There was amusement colouring his expression, making his features seem all that more attractive. Part of me wanted to ask why he looked scared just then, but I remembered that I had seen that countenance before – at the movie theatre when I swore the ass was going to kiss me. Victoria's words from a previous day in the cafeteria came to the forefront of my mind: _Edward Cullen doesn't kiss._ I knew I shouldn't even contemplate it, but I evidently had new artillery to use at my disposal. _I can make him just as uncomfortable as he makes me._ I just hoped he wouldn't call my bluff – I would not kiss him.

"Please, I was not playing with it, I was thinking of all the ways I could destroy your stupid sex hair." So, I lied. He always brought out the worst in me.

A crooked grin spread along his lips. "You think I have sex hair? Is that your attempt at a proposition?" The hand that he was still holding clenched into a ball and I seriously considered punching him with it, but that would have been wrong of me. So I settled for an immature pinch on the stomach.

"Fuck," he hissed, a tingling sensation being sent down below. _Ignore it!_ "Didn't you get your fill of this last night?" I looked at him entirely confused I'm sure. My head was pounding again and I wondered just how much I drank last night. From the feel of it, I must have had quite a lot. It obviously wasn't the first time I drank, but the fact that I was having a hard time remembering events solidified the fact that it was most definitely my first experience at being drunk. _Meh, I hope I had fun._

"What does _that_ mean?" I asked. I got a confused expression in return, and I swore I could almost see the wheels turning in his head.

"You can't remember, can you?" I didn't know how to answer that correctly. Remember what exactly?

"You're going to have to be a little more specific...which probably answers part of your question for you already," I retorted irritably, hating the fact that he had control of this situation. _I am never drinking near, or in his presence ever again._

He stared at me curiously for a minute, his eyes swept lazily across my face. I shifted nervously, not at all liking where this could go, my bare legs rubbing against his sweats...wait a damn minute...where the hell were my pyjama bottoms? _Oh god. _I looked down at myself – well what I could see anyway – and acknowledged that I was only dressed in a pair of boy shorts and a cami, my long-length cardigan twisted uncomfortably around my upper half. He started chuckling at my unease.

"I know my state of dress has nothing to do with you," I said icily, attempting to pull my hand from his own.

"I thought you couldn't remember anything?" he asked amusedly, lowering himself completely on me once again. I could feel that his excitement had ebbed considerably but it still didn't help with the warmth that was threatening to shoot through me. "You were so tight and warm," he whispered, moving his mouth to my ear. I felt his free hand run along the outside of my leg, stopping at the sensitive spot behind my knee. "The noises you made...you begged and pleaded with me," he said seductively, nipping gently at the skin at my neck. I was starting to get a little breathless, hating my bodies reaction to him. _Thank god I had a brain and wouldn't act upon any of his crap._ "I made you cum so hard." _God that's hot. If it was anyone else but him, I may have launched myself at them by now. _I bit my lip as he pulled back to look at me, his eyes glistening. I glared at him, not trusting myself to speak, and realized he was trying not to laugh.

"You're such a jerk, I know for a fact nothing happened," I snapped. _Considering I was still sporting my v-card, I would be feeling a little sore if anything had happened. Plus, inebriated or not, I have brain cells – and they all know not to go there. Yeah, you all deserve a high five._

"Oh yeah, and how's that?" I obviously wasn't going to tell him, and when he started laughing again, I pushed angrily at his chest. _He was playing with me. What a jackass._

He finally got up off me, allowing me to pull my legs up to my chest to cover them with my cardigan as much as possible. I grabbed the throw just to make sure. He stretched his arms above his head, letting out a satisfied groan. _Don't look at his exposed skin, don't look at his exposed skin...good lord look at that happy trail. _I didn't have time to berate myself as the noise that had just been occurring upstairs was now making its way down here. Emmett barged in first, followed by Jazz, then Alice and lastly Rose.

"My sleeping beauties have awoken," Emmett announced – far too loudly I might add – before he plopped down on the once deserted make-shift beds in front of us. "About damn time too. I wanted to wake you up, but Rose told me to let you guys sleep," he shrugged, taking a massive bite out of his bagel. I looked behind him to see they had brought have a truck load of food down – so that's what the noise was...they were attempting to use the kitchen.

"Yeah, and I took a really cute picture too, I'll show you later," she smiled, as if I would be remotely interested in this. _Perhaps I could steal it...then burn it._

Edward, who had helped himself to waffles, choked mid-bite. "No you won't, you'll delete it."

"I second that notion," I added, asking Jazz if he could please pass me a glass of juice. Edward just looked at me oddly, swallowing his mouthful of food before grabbing himself a bottle of water. _It wasn't that shocking that we agreed on something, after all, there has to be a first time for everything. _

The smell of food was making me feel a little nauseous. Everyone was eating except me and Alice – who weirdly had sunglasses on...inside. She evidently saw me staring and motioned to the lights. _Ah, gotcha, already had that problem earlier._

"How you feeling this morning, B?" Jazz asked while passing me my drink. I thanked him while I looked at everyone over the rim of my glass, taking a hesitant sip. I shot Rose a mild glare when I saw her wink at me.

"What?" she asked innocently, running her fingers through her blonde locks and batting her eyelashes. That look may work with Emmett, but I was not fooled as easily.

"Your drinks are evil," I mumbled, causing everyone to laugh – even GQ next to me. _Glad I could amuse everybody, I'll be here all week...well, next door...whatever._

"It's good to let your hair down every once in a while," she stated with a wave of her hand. _That may be so Rose, but not when I was dressed in so little when a certain person was present. I wonder what time they joined us? I remember up until a certain point, and it was most definitely just the three of us then, but after that things just get kind of...foggy._

"Yeah, you practically attacked me," Em murmured through a mouthful of food. "You called me your "protective bear", it made me all warm inside," he said half playfully, half pleased. "My SVB loves me."

"I'm pretty sure she loved everyone last night," Edward snorted, smiling wickedly at me. I threw a balled up napkin at his head, smirking in satisfaction when it landed in his plate of food.

"Hey, leave her alone," Alice cautioned, getting up off the floor to sit next to me. I rested my head on her shoulder, relishing the feel of her fingers running through my hair. I wrapped my arms around her small waist, resisting the urge to stick my tongue out at Edward who was watching on, frowning.

"What? It's true," he stated with amusement. I must have seemed confused as he carried on. "Don't worry, I'll tell you all about it later," he winked, shoving the last bite of his waffle in his mouth, and distracting me with his tongue as he swiped his lips.

"What's later?" I asked everyone. _Had I missed something?_ Edward shook his head, his mouth filled with water. "No," he told me, wiping his mouth. "We have to start the planting for our project today, remember?"

I pulled my sleeves further down my wrists. "Yes," I said sheepishly, secretly smiling at Jazz so Edward couldn't see. "Maybe," I laughed when Rose snorted at me. "I'll have all my stuff ready, it will be fine," I told him as I met his gaze.

"Drunk last night, forgetting school work, tut tut Bella," he replied smugly, earning the finger from me. If he was extra lucky he would get two.

"Anyway, I better get home and spend a little time with Charlie, I already promised to make him dinner later so I need to go prepare some things," I voiced, giving Alice a final squeeze before pulling away. I went to stand but then realized my clothes were not down there, and I didn't want to give everyone a peep show in my sober state. I blushed furiously as I tied the throw around my waist, bumping Alice's shoulder playfully when she giggled.

"Shush, you," I mumbled, strangely finding a feather boa at my feet and tickling her face just under her nose, causing her to sneeze. _Where the hell did this thing come from?_ Rose and Emmett were arguing about something or other and Jazz was reading the back of a box of Pop Tarts. _Hey, whatever floats your boat._

"I think I just sneezed my glasses off," she laughed. I looked around and indeed noticed that she had. I doubled over in laughter, groaning when the movement made my head throb.

"I'll quickly nip upstairs and change," I stated. "Err...what time do you want to start?" I asked, addressing Edward. He tapped his fingers on the arm of the sofa, taking a glance at the clock.

"It's eleven now, so how about you come find me, say three o'clock? Would that give you enough time to do everything you need to get done?"

I nodded my head in agreement, "Yeah, that's fine." I turned to the others, "Bye guys, I'll see you later." Em blew me a kiss while Jazz saluted. _You can't help but grin at those two._ "And Rose, Alice...from what I remember of last night, I had fun, so thanks." Alice started doing an impersonation of Tigger, bouncing up and down. I scrunched up fmy face and held up a hand. "Just make sure I don't drink next week at my party. I don't want to end up getting cornered by Newton while being so out of it that I think he looks like Brad Pitt and decide to make some babies to add to his already sizeable brood." The unmistakable laughter belonging to Edward roared out beside me, so I discreetly stomped on his foot, earning a pleasing grunt from him. _That's better._

"Don't worry, we'll save you if that situation happens to arise," Em assured me. I smiled at him gratefully, knowing that he would do just that. _When I apparently called him by protective bear last night I wasn't wrong. Go drunken me._

"That reminds me, are we inviting Jake?" I looked at Rose a little stunned. Of course he would be invited, why wouldn't he be? I know she dislikes him, but I also know that she would put up with his presence for my benefit.

"No," was the fervent reply spat from Edward's mouth behind me. I turned and glowered at him, neither one of us backing down with our outwardly hostile demeanor. He rose smugly off the sofa, going over to lean on the door frame leading out of the room. _What, was he trying to trap me or something?_

"Shut up, Edward," Alice admonished, shaking her head at her brother. "It's a done deal," she assured, winking at me. I mouthed a thank you to her, ignoring Rose's grumbles.

"I'll see you guys later," I smiled, heading for the door. I couldn't help myself, as soon as I made eye contact with Edward when passing, I just had to smirk at him. So many times he had done this to me, and finally this was something he couldn't control. _He wouldn't dare mess with Alice._

I started up the stairs, increasing my pace when I heard footsteps behind me. I managed to get to the top floor with only a few stumbles, luckily not falling down from any of them in my clumsiness. I knew who was following me, I just really didn't want to deal with him any more right now. I was feeling so suffocated by his presence, the fact that I knew I had to meet up with him again in a few hours only increased my exasperation.

"What Edward?" I shouted, catching him off guard by abruptly spinning around to face him.

"You know what," he seethed. "Stop pretending to be so obtuse. You're doing that shit on purpose to get at me."

"Believe it or not, not everything is about you. He is my friend, and he's coming, so drop it." I rubbed my eyes with the palms of my hands. I was getting so sick of this fighting.

"He's not, and that's final." He stormed towards his door, me following to get to my own given room.

"The decision is not up to you. Alice is throwing this for me, not you! You have no involvement in this, so butt out." I pulled my door open, gathering my things hastily so I could change and get out of here.

"It has everything to do with me," he snapped, following me into the room. "This happens to be my house just as much as theirs; so I automatically get a say in who enters it."

"And so do they," I quipped, wanting nothing more than to sock him one. "God, it's like you want jurisdiction over everything. Well, sorry to tell you, but you can't...and you don't, and the sooner you realize that, the sooner people will stop castigating you."

"I don't care what you think, or say," he replied through clenched teeth. "You've beguiled everyone into thinking you're this perfect person. It makes me sick. It's so hard for me to be around you sometimes." He was standing inches away from me, his eyes smouldering. "_This_ is why I am doing this, _this_ is why I continue to do this," he whispered harshly while motioning between us. "You continuously make speculations. You know absolutely nothing about me, yet you still make assumptions based on what you believe to be poor decisions, or even gossip you've heard from other people. And you accuse me of jurisdiction when you display the same qualities. The difference being you just do it in a less direct way. You also believe yourself to always be right, and your opinion is the only correct one, so cut the bullshit."

My mouth gaped open in disbelief. "I don't even think you comprehend how disconcerting you are to be around. So, for you to say those things to me is so incredibly laughable right now."

He gripped his hair tightly, openly showing his evident frustration. "I seriously don't understand you. I've watched you and you're so closed off sometimes, even around my family. Then the next minute you're so angry with me, showing all that emotion. You also parade these enigmatic little smiles which frustrate the hell out of me." I stared at him in shock, bitter chocolate meeting burning emerald.

"What, are you like stalking me now?" I asked incredulously.

"No, and don't change the subject," he admonished. "I think you hate the fact I can get reactions out of you that you'd rather not display, and that's why you feel so ill at ease around me – your words not mine."

"And I think it's killing you that I'm one person you can't have." I was somewhat shocked at what we've both said to each other. This was possibly the longest we've ever discussed anything, angrily or not. And we've certainly never gotten this deep or personal.

"Well, that still remains to be seen," he whispered stoically, his expression not matching his words.

"Another "impasse" then," I replied, completely exhausted. "Now, can you leave? I'd liked to get changed and leave," I sighed, closing my eyes for a calming second.

"I'll see you later then," he responded, walking backwards. "Oh, and just a heads up, if you're inviting your lap dog, I think it's only fair I invite a few people, that way I'll be occupied enough to stay out of his way." _Yeah, and I can guess who those "few people" will be. I'll have to help Alice disinfect every available surface at the end of the night, and maybe sneakily spray them when they walk through the door just to be on the safe side._

"Fine," I snapped, storming into the bathroom, tired of waiting for him to just leave.

"Fine." I heard him reiterate, the door slammed shut behind his exit. I looked at my flushed face in the mirror, begrudgingly noticing that the bags that were under my eyes had diminished slightly. _So it looks like I finally managed to get some sleep then._ I changed quickly, giving my face a good splash of cold water. _Jeez_, w_hat a freaking morning. I swear I can actually feel my blood boiling, that seriously can't be healthy. Oh, where is the good doc when you need him? Oh yeah, saving lives. Pom-pon's a go-go._

I managed to exit the house without any further incident, catching Charlie just as he was getting into the cruiser.

"Hey Dad," I greeted, briefly startling him with my unexpected appearance. I bit my lip to stifle the laugh that was threatening to depart from my lips.

"Hey there kiddo, you have fun with Alice?" he asked before clearing his throat, obviously trying to mask his embarrassment at being caught off guard.

"Yeah, it was good. So where you off to?" I inquired, hoping I wouldn't have to explain my evenings events with Charlie, not that he usually pushed for that kind of stuff, but just to be on the safe side. I wonder if he can tell when I'm lying, what with him being a cop and all? That was actually a worrying thought.

"Just to the store, we've run out of milk," he shrugged, opening his door. "Do you need anything while I'm there?" I thought about what food we had left in the house, and whether I needed any more ingredients for the lasagne I had planned on making.

"Actually, there are a few things. Mind if I come with you?" I asked hesitantly, not knowing if he wanted to go alone or whatever. Also, I pretty much hated driving in the cruiser. It's kind of embarrassing with it not being the most unnoticeable vehicle out there; so you're pretty much guaranteed attention wherever you go. Not my most favourite pastime.

"Sure thing, hop in," he smiled, motioning with his head over to the passenger seat. I grinned, walking around to pull open the door and hoist myself up.

The drive over was comfortable and quiet as always, only the odd word passing between us. Charlie cut the engine, grabbing his wallet from the center compartment. "I can grab everything, Dad, save both of us going in," I suggested.

"Sure thing Bells, here, this enough?" He queried, opening his wallet and handing me some cash.

"That's plenty," I stated jumping out the cruiser. "I won't be long," I replied over my shoulder, making my way into the store.

I grabbed a basket upon entry, wandering through the aisles to search for what we needed. I went to reach for a pack of spaghetti when someone beat me to it.

"You cook?" he asked. I nodded at James, holding my hand out for the spaghetti. He handed it to me without any incident, which I wasn't expecting, but then again it was only Edward who was childish enough to do things like that.

"A little," I replied shrugging. "I take it you don't," I assumed when I noticed the pack of hot pockets in his basket. He mock scowled.

"Please, you still have to cook them, even if it is only by pressing a few buttons on the microwave." I couldn't help but laugh. It was technically true I supposed, but still ridiculous.

"Anyway, I'm glad I ran into you, I wanted to ask you something," he voiced, taking a step closer to me, his eyes taking on a new expression. I looked at him warily, not sure what he was going to ask me.

"What's that?" I requested, transferring the weight of the basket to my free hand, trying not to let my caginess show. He tilted his head to the side as if searching for something, his actions increasing my nerves.

"I was wondering if you wanted to go out next weekend, maybe have dinner, catch a movie?" My eyes widened in shock, his expression unwavering. I swallowed the lump in my throat, turning my head away from his gaze.

"Umm...that's really nice of you to ask James, but it's my birthday next weekend, so it's really kind of already full," I explained, momentarily glancing at him to gauge his response. His eyes had become slightly squinted, but other than that, my rejection hadn't seemed to have bothered him much.

"Birthday, huh? I must have lost my invite," he said while smiling, it never quite reaching his eyes. I shifted awkwardly, not wanting to, but knowing that I had to give him an invite. However, it's not my house, and I know how the others felt about him, but he did seem to be Edward's friend, so hopefully it would be fine. Perhaps I should phone and check first, just to make sure? I checked my pocket for my phone, cursing when I found it not in attendance.

"Err...Alice is throwing me a small party at her house, it's not going to be a big deal or anything," I added, hoping this would put him off. It didn't. "You can come if you want, I'm sure it will be fine." I smiled disingenuously at him, expectantly waiting to see if it had in anyway sated him. _God, why do I have to be such a pushover? I have such a guilty conscience, whether I want one or not. I mean, James is okay, but he occasionally freaks me out. The only person I can seem to be able stand up to is Edward...and I have no idea what to make of that piece of information._ I realized I had been staring at a pack of taco shells while immersed in my own thoughts, and quickly shook myself out of it before an employee came by and thought I was going to either steal them, or rip them open like an animal and start devouring them.

"I'll see you there then," he smirked, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear. I stiffened slightly, my eyes followed the movement of his hand the entire way back to his side. "I'll just ask Eddie boy for the details then, shall I?"

"Err, yeah sure...I guess. Anyway, I really have to go, my dad's waiting outside for me," I explained, backing away down the aisle. "See ya," I said hurriedly, turning and heading for the checkout, quickly remembering the milk and going back for it, sneaking around the aisle like a retired, eighty year old, 007 who had to get his kicks by avoiding people at the local store. _Lame doesn't even cover it._

The drive back was just as quiet as the drive there. When we arrived home, I packed everything away and immediately started prepping everything for dinner, and even managed to get a load of washing done in between. Charlie sat comfortably in the lounge, watching baseball and drinking his typical Rainier beer, as I made my way upstairs to shower and change, wanting to get the smell of last night off me and get into some clean clothes. Not to mention, have a good five minutes with my toothbrush. I'd been in such a rush to get out of there that morning, that I had forgotten to brush them. _Gross._ Once finished, I glanced at the clock. I had a half an hour before I had to go start on our project, so I sat myself down on my window seat and once again got lost in the trials at Thornfield Hall.

All cars – apart from the unmistakable silver Volvo – were missing. My guess was that Rose and Alice had gone for some beauty treatment somewhere, while Em had dragged Jazz out for more food and maybe even possibly gone to wait for the girls to finish whatever they were doing. I remember Em telling me that he occasionally liked to go and harmlessly flirt with the female staff at one of the salons they went to, as he loved it when Rose got possessive. _I had to stop him when he started giving more details – I really didn't want those images in my head._ Of course, he said that this ploy occasionally backfired on him and Rose wouldn't talk to him for days on end, which was fine by him. He loved trying to find new ways to get her to give up, and knew that she secretly loved it too. _Sounds like a crap load of hassle to me, but, __meh, what do I know. The most romantic thing that's ever happened to me was when I got a secret valentine card in my mail box when I was like ten. Years later, I found out it had been written by my mother. All those years thinking it had been my stamp-obsessed neighbour were dashed. No wonder he scuttled away every time I smiled. He probably thought I had cooties or something, when actually, I was merely trying to be polite._

I let myself in through the side door, heading straight for the den but found it empty. In fact, all the downstairs seemed to be empty, well all the ones I had previously been in anyway. I wasn't about to go opening doors I hadn't been given permission to, as everyone deserved their privacy. I checked the second floor, and still nothing. I bit my lip and debated whether or not I should go knock on his bedroom door or something. I knew he didn't like people going in there, but surely just knocking would be alright? Well, I supposed there was only one way to find out. I steadily made my way up the remaining stairs. My eyes focused on the door at the end of the corridor opposite mine. Once I was standing in front of it, I hesitated and had to give myself a pep-talk for being so stupid. _It's just a damn door. Knock!_ I rattled off a few taps, but like all the other rooms I had tried so far, I was met with total silence. My palm started sliding its way down the wood without conscious thought from my part, my fingertips coming into contact with the brass handle. I knew I shouldn't be doing this, but for some reason I couldn't find it in me to stop. Just as I had the door open and had pushed it minutely forward, it is slammed shut just as quickly. I turned my head slowly and was met with a very angry looking Edward Cullen. _Well shit. But then I remembered he did the exact same thing to me after I specifically told him not to enter my bedroom...and technically he never once personally told me that I couldn't enter his. Then why do I still feel guilty? Dammit!_

"I'm sorry," I mumbled, hating the fact that I was apologizing to him, but knowing in that instance it was the right thing to do. He stared at me censoriously, making me want to bow my head like a scolded child.

"Did you knock?" he asked, leaning against the frame. I nodded my head in the affirmative, gnawing on my lip anxiously. "So you thought that no answer meant that I was actually in there, did you?" I couldn't help but start to think he was enjoying making me squirm like this, making my answer a little snappy in response.

"Please. You know as well as I do that you could have very well been ignoring me on purpose just to wind me up," I scoffed. "And I wasn't going to step inside or mooch around, I was just simply going to see if you were, in fact, in here, and if you weren't, I would have closed the door behind me and gone back downstairs." _At least I think so. Maybe._

He inched closer to me, his breath caressing my neck as he exhaled. "You know, if you really want to go inside, I can think of something we could do." _And we were back to these games. Fine, we can play all you want, doesn't mean you're going to get anywhere._

"Really?" I breathed, looking up at him from beneath my lashes and raising myself up on my toes to enable me to put my arms around his neck. His face was a bit smug, his eyes glittering. "Do you have Scrabble in there? I just love it," I smirked, laughing and dropping my arms from around his neck. "Nice try though, but as always, I'm going to have to pass. Thanks anyway." His expression showed palpable distaste, his smug look a thing of the past.

"You're only dragging this out more, Bella. We both know this is going to happen sooner or later." He sauntered off down the corridor, winking over his shoulder. "You coming?" he asked, pausing mid-stride, "or are you reconsidering?" His words set my feet in motion, a crooked grin forming on his face, inwardly disarming me yet again. _Damn his physical appearance._

"Never," I huffed as I passed by him and took off down the stairs. His chuckling followed me all the way until we arrived in the kitchen, where Esme had arrived home and was baking what looked to be muffins.

"Hey kids, what are you both up to?" Esme asked, putting a tray into the oven. She turned and cupped me cheek motherly, both of us laughed when she unintentionally got flour on my face. Edward appeared beside his mother, frowning at the both of us. "What's with that face?" Esme queried, going to the sink to wash her hands.

"I think he's feeling a little left out," I laughed, smiling impishly at him. His mien turned devilish with my words, wiping the smile right off my face. _Oh god, what now?_

"You're right Bella, I think I need a hug," he stated, stopping in front of me. "Thanks for offering." I didn't get a chance to do anything before he had me in his arms, crushing me to his chest right in front of his mother. I knew he was doing this for the sole purpose of making me feel incredibly awkward, but also because he knew I wouldn't knee ball him in front of Esme. I had no choice but to begrudgingly put my arms about his waist. His scent hit me like a wrecking ball, the aroma of fresh linen mixed with _him_ was quite the heady fragrance. His embrace was warm, and unexpectedly gentle, and if I could close my eyes and forget that it was Edward that I was hugging it would be pretty close to perfect as a hug could get. After what I thought to be an acceptable time, I pulled away, clearing my throat at the somewhat intimate moment we shared. Esme was all smiles as she moved about the kitchen, however, Edward was rubbing the back of his neck looking all kinds of uneasy. _Good, hopefully you won't be trying that again._

"I think we should go and get started now," he voiced, heading for the side door. I gave Esme a small wave and followed him out, left bewildered yet again. The garden was beautiful. It was filled with all types of flowers and grasses. Hedgerows and rose bushes were all sculpted to perfection, and ornate birdbaths and sun dials were scattered throughout the vast area. The greenhouse itself was located at the far end of the garden, out of sight of the main house. I could already see Edward potting about inside, presumably getting what we needed. It was his home so hopefully he had a better idea at what was placed where. Although, I very much doubted he would randomly decide to come outside and do a bit of planting every now and then; didn't really seem like his scene. The lack of females was kind of a big give away.

"I can see why Esme spends so much time out here. It's tranquil," I stated to Edward as I stepped through the glass doors.

"Hmm," was his only response. He continued to dig around in a few cupboards in what looked to be the planting area. She had decorated this section of the greenhouse like a little kitchen, it had a sink and everything_. She was quirky like that._ He stacked a few more plastic pots aside, along with bags of seeds, and compost. Also, there were some adorable gloves with waving flowers and trees with little smiling faces, like that creepy-ass baby from the Teletubbies. _Okay, maybe they weren't so adorable after-all._

"Right, if you get started on those pots there, I'll start with these," he prompted, referring to the stack in front of him, and still not looking my way. I nodded my head, hoping he could see the movement from his standpoint. I smirked as I picked up a pair of gloves and made to stand next to him.

"Aren't you forgetting something?" I asked, wiggling the gloves in front of his face. He wrinkled his nose and shook his head, his attempt at trying to dispel me not working in the least. "I think you should put them on, otherwise you're going to have mud embedded under your nails, which is a real shit to get out," I suggested. "And, you never know...you could miss a bit and not realize it until you have dirt smudges...say in your shiny Volvo for example." I knew this would be the thing to break him and finally get him to wear the ridiculous things.

"Fine," he huffed, snatching them out of my grasp and slotting his fingers in their respective crevices. I realized I had been staring at his hands far too long, a blush immediately attacked my cheeks. _Right. Focus. Project, planting, seeds, fingers...no. Shit._

I wordlessly got to work, depositing a single seed to each mini pot and covering them with a minimal amount of compost and a slight drizzle of water. I carried on this sequence until I had filled each one, took a few snaps with the camera so we could record the growing stages, and then proceeded to cover them over with the black plastic sheeting so they were in complete darkness. Edward was taking a picture of the plants that were going to be staying out in the light, so I packed the few odd items we had used away while he finished. A flash came my way and I realized with horror that he was taking unsuspected shots of me.

I covered my face with one hand and reached for it with the other. "If you want to keep your balls, I suggest you desist immediately," I threatened, getting really aggravated when he carried on and added in his annoying chuckling. I spotted something at my feet and internally cackled. I bent down slowly as if I was attempting to curl myself into a ball and turn in on myself. The sucker fell for it as the flashing stopped. _Time to say hello to my little friend._ I grabbed the hose and directed it straight at him, holding my hand out for the camera.

"Hand it over and no one gets wet," I said seriously, biting my lip in concentration. He looked wary and I knew he was probably thinking the same thing I was. _Would I actually do it?_ He clenched his jaw and grudgingly held it out for me to take. _I was doing a victory dance on the inside_. "See, that wasn't so hard, was it?" I smiled and placed the camera on the shelf nearest to me, regretting turning my back instantly. A burst of ice hit my spine, wet material now sticking to the skin of my lower back. _He'd stolen my hose. Well, Esme's hose, but I know that she's a sharer, so it's all good._

"You _did not _just do that," I seethed, which was a stupid thing to say, as it was pretty darn obvious, that in fact, he had done what I had just minutes ago been threatening to do myself.

"Oh Swan, I think you'll find that I did," he smirked, blowing on the end as if he was some cowboy who was blowing the residual smoke from his pistol. My eyes squinted on their own accord, searching for something to use against him. I grabbed a watering can, which was only about half way filled by the weight of it, but at least it was something. He laughed when he saw me holding it, knowing that I wouldn't succeed in actually catching him off guard with it without soaking myself in the process.I took a step towards him, and he retaliated by giving the handle another press, water shooting out against my stomach this time. I gaped at my now rapidly soaking white t-shirt, my eyes burning with fire at his dry clothing. I hauled the can into both of my hands, watching the filmy liquid fly from the gap in the top as I heaved the contents right at him. A sharp gasp permitted my ears causing my to drop the can and haul-ass out of there. _I had no artillery left. I was going to run for it...and when I say run I mean stumble like an old friend of my mums named Felix, who was in fact, a drunk. Unattractive reminiscences are another one of my things, apparently._

My attempts at escaping him were futile, as no sooner had I had gotten approximately a meter away from the greenhouse, he was right next to me, assaulting me with the freezing liquid. I shrieked and uselessly tried to hold my arms around myself as if that would actually stop the attack.

"Edward!" I screamed, wiping my now drenched locks out of my face and glaring at his bent-over-in-laughter form. This wasn't any ordinary chuckle, this was full-blown can't breathe and tears-streaming-down-your-face kind of laugh. I hurled myself at him, turning the gun at him and pressing with all my might, eyes lighting up at the sight of endless water assailing him from head to toe.

"That's it," I heard him say before he picked me up bridal style, the hose trapped between us... well that was until he slipped on the sodden lawn under his feet, resulting in both of us landing to the floor with a squelch. Of course, I landed first, mud splattering onto any reachable part of me like flecks of glitter attaching itself to still wet glue. I could feel my hair caked in dirt, the weight of Edward partially on top of me seeming to be the only area that felt mud free. The back of his shirt looked fine, if only a little wet, and I was about to curse his obvious good luck when his face popped up from beside my own head. My laughter was instantaneous_._ One side of his face was completely covered in the brown soil, his green eye standing out like a precious jewel amongst the dirt and debris.

"You look like the cheap and dirty version of Phantom of the opera," I cried, slapping my hand on the ground beside me, bringing forth another bout of splattering mud. _Meh, I'm already filthy, so who really gives a shit?_

"Yeah, well you look like a damn dalmatian. If they ever make a third one or whatever, you would be a shoe in," he snapped, touching the gunk on his face in distaste.

We were both quiet for a time, surprisingly neither one of us moving to get up. I couldn't help giggling at the situation once again. I knew I should be mad considering the company I was in, but dare I say it, that was actually sort of..._fun._ Of course, I wouldn't tell _him_ that. He gazed at me curiously, most thinking I had lost my marbles, before his breathtaking crooked grin spread across his face, his eyes twinkling. He turned his head away, shaking it in humour, water droplets fleeing his wild, now darker hair, in all directions.

"Here," I voiced, grabbing the end of the hose. I placed my free hand on the caked side of his head, telling him to cover his eye while I rinsed him off. He looked dubious at first, causing me to roll my eyes and sigh, before he finally relented and let me wash him somewhat off. His skin was just as soft on his face as it had been on his hands. He really did have beautiful skin, in fact, every member of the Cullen family did_._ My fingertips grazed along his jaw for the first time, following the route from his sideburns to his chin with gentle movements. I think a pleasurable sigh escaped both of us simultaneously, making it difficult to know if just one of us, or in fact both of us had breathed our enjoyment.

"That's the best I can do," I said, clearing my throat and somewhat unwillingly pulling my hand away. He uncovered his eye and focused his attention on my face. "Is mine really bad?" I asked, feeling a little self-conscious.

"A little," he replied, wordlessly taking the hose from me and giving me the same treatment I had just given him. I didn't close my eyes, but kept them firmly on his face, watching him closely every time his eyes would drift to a new area of my skin. His hand started drifting lower down towards my neck, the icy water running down the column of my throat and carrying on to my chest. A silent gasp formed my mouth into an 'O' shape, as the liquid ran over my already sensitive nipples, causing them to strain even further against my incredibly muddy shirt. I watched his throat bob as he did it again, this time viewing as he did so. As another gasp escaped me, a whispered plea escaped my lips, except I didn't quite know what I was begging for. His eyes darted to mine and stayed there as his hand drifted lower further, the tips of his fingers coming into contact with the swell of my breast. _Okay, this is the part where I push him away._ I didn't get chance to say anything as Alice's shrill voice assaulted our ears.

"Oh my god, what happened?" she inquired, running over to us and skidding slightly, but managing to stay upright. Edward's hand was still resting precariously on my chest, thankfully Alice was too concerned with the mess we were in to notice.

"Err...we fell," Edward groaned, finally removing his hand. I could see the others making their way towards us, but turned back to gauge Alice's expression. I could see she didn't believe that for a second, however Emmett slipped at the last minute and brought Jasper and Rose down with him, who went flying into Alice. _What a diversion!_ We all clumsily shot to our feet, shock evident on all our faces. An eerie silence descending upon us, all eyes on Rosalie's now stained clothing and tangled hair while she still sat on the ground. _Oh. My. God. Houston, we have a really fucking big problem._ I think my jaw hit the floor when she laughed, throwing a clump of soggy mud right in Emmett's face. He swiftly wiped it off, pulling her up so she was on her feet once more.

"What are you lot gawking at?" she asked as she attempted to smooth down her hair and shirt. I looked around and noticed I wasn't the only one suffering from slack jaw. I exchanged a look with Alice who lolled her tongue out the side of her mouth, indicating Em was toast.

"Probably because you haven't turned into a fucking psycho bitch yet," Edward shrugged. _He certainly has a way with words that one._

"I'm fine," she huffed. "It's just a little mud, it will wash off." I seriously didn't think my jaw could go any lower, but I'm pretty sure I gave it a damn good shot at trying.

"Okaaaayy," Alice drawled out, checking Rose's forehead, and looking her over for any sudden illness that could cause a personality alteration that fast. Rose turned on her heel, all of us left following her back across the garden into the house. I could feel Edward sidle up beside me, his arm occasionally brushing my own and setting my nerves on complete alert.

Rose slipped off her shoes at the side door and swiveled to look sweetly at Em, "Oh Em, I forgot to tell you something."

"And what's that beautiful?" Em queried, giving her a dazzling smile with his dimples on full display.

"You won't be getting sex or any of the favours that go along with it for a month. See you inside." Her hips swayed through the kitchen doorway leaving a very pale looking Emmett in her wake. _And she's back._

"She's joking," Em laughed, scratching the back of his head. Alice snorted, indicating that Rose was in no way joking.

"I have two words for you," Jazz whispered to Em while following Alice through the door. "Blue balls." Edward sniggered while they both started a whispered discussion, one that I was positive I didn't want to be included in. I went to follow after them, when Edward's hot breath caressed my ear.

"Why do you keep fighting it?" he whispered, ghosting his fingers along my collarbone. "I can see it in your face when I touch you." I turned my body to make eye contact, his gaze heated. "Your body reacts so well to my touch. What are you afraid of, hmm?" he pondered. "I could make you feel so good Bella."

I shook my head, dispelling his words. "You're wrong," I said full of conviction, turning away from him and heading towards the noise in the kitchen before he kept me out there any longer. I didn't have enough energy left for another argument. _Why did he have to go and say something like that, again? He is his own worst enemy._ I was so angry at myself for once again drowning in those feelings. I was not used to that kind of attention. I didn't know how to handle it. I was completely winging it, and that thought was utterly terrifying. I was fighting against something I didn't fully grasp. Was I physically attracted to him, or did I just like the feeling of a male's touch? That was more than likely part of his game; the constant confusion.

He had so many layers to his personality: salacious conduct, playful banter, angry speeches, the occasional gentle and caring action. He was attentive towards his mother...the list could go on. He was like an extremely difficult puzzle. You could try to get the pieces to fit together where you thought they should go, only to find they wouldn't conform, and perhaps never would. The stubborn part of me - that feeling deep-down inside that liked something challenging, suddenly wanted to hide.

I wasn't sure I could ever complete that particular puzzle.

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**I would love to hear what you think, so please review! Thanks for reading! VHL xx**


	12. Chapter 12

**Hey everyone! I have exciting news - well for me anyway - I have been nominated for two Indie Twific Awards! The catergories I'm nominated in are: AH story that knocks you off your feet - and Best Love Triangle. I am so grateful to whomever nominated me - seriously, if I could give you... I don't know, money or cookies... whatever, I would. Thank you so, so much. Link is on my profile to vote for your favourites. Voting opens 2/20/2010 - which is next Saturday. :)**

**Thank you to my amazing beta SusanQ for continuing to fix my mistakes.**

**And thanks so much to all of you who continue to review.**

**Come follow me on Twitter. Thanks to Twimom76, KikiBlues and VronniePantz for keeping me company over there. And especially Jedigirlsc for informing me who the Saints were last weekend. When I kept seeing the word Colt - I immediately thought horse. Yes, truly, you may laugh. I thought it was bizzare why everyone would be tweeting this. The Superbowl doesn't contain horses. However, it would be fun to watch if it did. Link to my twitter is on profile.**

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns Twilight and all its characters. I just play with them.**

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Edward

Wednesdays, I fucking hated Wednesdays. It was neither the beginning or the end of the week. It taunted me. A few mundane days had passed, but there were still a few more to go until the school week was over. Lessons were tedious. I was finding that everything of late fit into that description: _Tedious._ The word in itself was even depressing. The frustration was evident. I was snapping a lot more, not sleeping, just generally in a bad mood. Swan was finally getting to me. The whole tirade was getting to me. I almost wanted to quit.

_Almost, but not quite._

I was a competitive son of a bitch. A natural Cullen trait to be sure. Even Esme could be added into that category, certainly not the bitch part, but the competitive part. Of course, she would never go about it in a malicious or unkind manner. She did everything in the correct way, with her hair perfectly coiffed and a genuine smile donning her face. It was quite the sight to behold. One particular example that came to mind was last year's church bake sale. We never really attended church, or were religiously inclined, but as the wife of the local esteemed doctor, she played her part. Not that she was in any manner false, she loved to help causes in any way she was able, but sometimes you can't change peoples expectations.

Mrs. Stanley was known for her brilliant cakes. I, myself, had been fortunate to taste her delicacies from time to time. The first time being when I had been banging her daughter on their kitchen counter. Jessica thought it would be fun to run frosting across her nipples. Let's just say I was more turned on from the sweet taste rather then the girl herself. That was the first and last time I had ever had my dick inside her. I'm surprised her neighbours hadn't come round to see if she was in trouble the way she was screaming. I'd had many a nightmare after witnessing that over-the-top performance. Like I'd said before, she was far less annoying with her mouth full.

Each wife and mother wanted to be the one to earn the post money for whatever charity they were raising money for. It got them a mention in the local paper. Esme was never bothered about that particular part. She could care less about others reading about her good deeds. She was more interested in doing her very best to raise the greatest amount of money she was capable of doing...while undeniably wanting to wipe the seemingly ever-present "I'm-so-much-better-than-you" smirk off Mrs. Stanley's face. Even Esme had her limits when it came to that woman. She was determined to make her recipes that much more mouthwatering than her rival. Not just for herself but for the other women that had to put up with her behaviour year after infuriating year. Mrs. Stanley's display was pretty fucking flawless. She had been the first to arrive to set up, basking in the "oohs" and "ahhs" around her. She had even brought a puppy along with her to entice young children to her stall. Naturally, that had all changed when my mother turned up. The silent – but deadly – opponent had arrived and blew her display out of the water. She had no dirty tricks, locals were simply drawn to her kind smile and genuine air of friendliness. And of course, her wide variety of treats. It had been a done deal. While Esme never once mentioned her victory, even though you could see the wide grins on the other volunteers faces, I just knew that colour in her cheeks and spark in her eyes were from her triumph. It just showed that sometimes being genuine can overshadow the rest of the bullshit out there.

I hadn't managed to get Bella on her own since the incident in the garden on Sunday. I thought I would be able to have some fun with her in gym, but she scampered off to Newton as soon as she saw me coming, making sure to hang near Emmett as a shield. She was once again using the avoidance technique, but I knew that could only last so long. Sunday was a complicated day, conflicting emotions were running riot through my head. Some I didn't even recognize. It could have been that I simply didn't care enough to acknowledge them further than the brief time they happened to pop up. Whatever, they didn't last long anyway, so I saw no need to dwell on anything. At one point, I forgot we disliked each other; our banter seemed to come so natural between us. That was until we started arguing again, a few home truths nailed down upon us by the other. I even caught her about to step foot into my room. I know it shouldn't be that much of a big deal if she had, it's not like I had coffins or creepy shit lying around or chains on the ceiling or leather whips hidden in the closet. It was what the room _represented_. It was something that belonged to me and by my own admittance, I didn't like to share stuff. Plus, it was a part of me. Personal things that I didn't feel comfortable letting just anyone see, let alone someone who could have used something private against me in the long run. After all, I must have been severely grating on her nerves, maybe even making her slightly miserable...even if sometimes I could tell she enjoyed playing me back. Deep down inside I knew it wasn't right. I was finding that the further it went, the more I found it didn't particularly sit well with me. I always harbored guilt. Another Cullen family trait that was fruitless to fight. Or ignore.

It was fairly apparent to me that I found her physically attractive. I was a teenage boy after all, and no matter how hard we tried, we simply could not ignore or deny a pair of perky breasts or perfect legs when we saw them. However much I wanted to.

I was persistently telling myself than when the time arrived for me to put this little game to bed - _quite literally - _it would be that much more satisfying. And I was almost positive that her resistance was wavering. Then it would all be over. I wouldn't have to have contact with her purposefully again.

"What's that frown for?" Jazz asked, nudging my shoulder with his own. _Huh, I hadn't even realized I had been._

"Nothing, just thinking about some stuff I guess." I continued to break apart the muffin on my tray, taking a swift glance at Bella in the process. I could see that Jazz had followed my line of sight, a contemplative expression marring his features. I needed a change of company for a little while. I could feel eyes on me, and knew that if I looked, I would be met with ice-blue. Tanya had been silently appraising me for the past few days, not concerned in the least that she was being so obvious. I'm sure she had heard about James' and my usual techniques by then, and must have been wondering why neither of us had yet to make a move. What they both didn't know, is that James and I happened to have intentions for the same girl - just not the one they both expected. I would in no way be inclined to make that apparent in the near future to anyone, let alone those two.

Jazz had been my best friend for the past couple of years, and I knew I was being kind of shitty in that role towards him. I had been a little more distant of late for a lot of reasons, the main one being he was able to pick up on emotions as quick as a simple click of the fingers. Although I'm positive he must have his own opinions and concepts by now, I didn't want him to start questioning me about them. I didn't need anything vocalized. His reasoning would no doubt be some deep, spot-on type shit that would make me feel like a complete asshole. Maybe I deserved it, but at the moment I just wanted to get what I wanted.

That _maybe_ was looking less likely every day.

"Anything you want to talk about?" Jazz inquired, once again drawing me away from my own thoughts. This is where I need to leave before others start listening in.

"No, I'm good, nothing serious," I said while shaking my head. "I'm going to move tables for a bit."

"Hmm, I wonder what table you're referring to?" he laughed, his hand on his chin in a mocking manner. I rolled my eyes and stood, trying not to laugh when he started doing crude gestures with his hands.

"I'll be sure to tell Alice your interest in their extra circular activities," I teased, watching on in amusement when Alice whipped her head around, obviously hearing her name mentioned.

"What was that?" she questioned, pursing her lips. Jazz flipped me the bird while presumably fumbling through his explanation, causing me to throw my head back and laugh. She _hated_ those girls. Rose gave me her customary scowl as I walked past her to make my way to my chosen destination. I could see Jessica straightening up in her seat at my arrival.

"Girls," I greeted, as I pulled out the nearest empty seat and sat myself down. They were all smiling at me, giving me their undivided attention. Although it was nice to see sometimes, today it just irritated me.

"Edward," they all breathed simultaneously, well all except for Tanya, who shot me a flirtatious grin. I responded by giving her my crooked smile that I knew they all liked so much.

"What can we do for you?" she asked, tilting her head to the side while running her tongue slowly along her bottom lip. I had to stop myself from rolling my eyes, however pleasant the sight may have been.

"I actually came to invite you all to my house this weekend, that is, if you're not all too busy?" I swear they all froze at the exact same time, same expressions etched on their faces. I almost wanted to poke Chelsea beside me to see if she would just fall in a lump to the floor if she really was as motionless as she seemed. "Alice is throwing some sort of party for her friend, and well...there's a few people going that I'd rather not have to spend time with, so I thought you girls could keep me entertained." This seemed to do the trick perfectly.

"Of course, that's so thoughtful to want to invite us," Jessica replied. No really, it wasn't, but thanks anyway. I gave her a wink instead, which was probably a mistake as I'm pretty sure it was her foot trying to inch its way towards my crotch. The girl was wearing death heels - no way was I allowing her feet anywhere near my junk.

"Err, yeah," I said, clearing my throat and moving my chair out of reaching distance. A pout instantly formed on her lips, her gum snapping madly. "You all know here I live, right?" All their heads nodded quickly, making them look kind of crazy - and insanely desperate. It was pretty freaky. Again, Tanya was the only one who wasn't acting like a performing monkey. She was eyeing me curiously while running her nails along the table. Her blood red polish a harsh contrast to the white plastic coating.

"So, who's birthday is it? Assuming it is a birthday, that is?" Of course she would be the only one to actually even think about questioning this. I doubt the thought even passed through the others overly product-used heads. They were probably too busy plotting sordid thoughts of places they could try to get me alone. That's all they would have of me, as well. I wouldn't be touching any of them in my home. I didn't even _want_ them there, but they were unfortunately necessary. I had to repress a heavy sigh and a glare behind me to the person who was responsible for all of this in the first place. Okay, so I wasn't entirely not to blame either, but if she thinks she can invite _Black_, then I'm definitely doing this. I know she'll hate it, but then again she'll most likely be all over her _friend_ to even notice. That put my mood even lower, heading to the warning signs regarding my patience. God, I needed a cigarette.

"Yeah, it's a birthday. It's Bella Swan's," I replied evenly, keeping all traces of emotion from my voice and features. Noses all wrinkled and upturned around me. Jeez, they really didn't like that girl.

"Eww," Jessica commented. "She's not going to be, like, anywhere near me or anything is she? She's such an icky little slut." I swear I nearly fell off my chair. I started to chuckle, the words 'pot' and 'kettle' came to mind.

"That's so funny," Lauren added, thinking that I was laughing along with them.

_Err yeah, that would be a big no._

An unwelcome presence came and joined us then, all calculating glances and over-powering, cheap aftershave. And of course his lapdog, Laurent was with him. He had on an over-the-top pair of sunglasses, most likely another gift from his parents. Did the guy seriously not notice the lack of sun today? I knew a lot of people were left confused as to why these two were even friends, but the answer was simple if you looked hard enough: money – and all that money could buy; namely drugs. Laurent had the cash and James had the connections.

"Ladies...oh, sorry didn't see you there, Eddie," James teased, grinning at me as he straddled a chair backwards.

"Yeah, I'm sure," I replied. "Hey, wait...you got a couple buttons not done up properly," I said pointing to his shirt. "You and Laurent been getting busy together again?" I smirked at him, watching his eyes harden slightly.

"Why, you jealous there, Eddie boy? Are you in need of some loving? Is this why you're sitting over here instead of with your family? One last desperate attempt to get some?" I angrily tapped my clenched fists on the table, wanting nothing more than to swap the item with his face.

"And what's that supposed to mean?" We both turned to face the menacing glare on the very angry strawberry blonde's face.

"Excuse me?" James asked stupidly, scratching the side of his face with amusement. He liked a fiery character.

"I'm pretty sure you just insulted me," she snapped, dragging her hair over her right shoulder.

"Did I now?" he pondered, eyeing her like he wanted to devour her there and then. He was practically undressing her with his eyes, lingering a little too long on her ample breasts. "My apologies then," he stated, going on to whisper something in her ear, much to Victoria's displeasure. Victoria had a major thing for James for a while. Sure, we'd fooled around, but I wasn't blind. She hung off his every word. She was incredibly devious, and a lot more dangerous than these girls were aware of. I'd been privy to some of the shit those two had gotten up to in the past. They were an intimidating team. I don't think James gave a crap about her in return; he just used her when he needed to. Mainly when it involved doing something illegal. He surely knew she had strong feelings for him, and that was how he knew he could trust her implicitly with some of his dodgy affairs. I had no idea what he was relaying to Tanya, but she didn't seem too impressed with it.

"Did you actually want something James?" I asked irritably, running my hand through my hair.

"Not particularly, no," he stated. "Although, actually...yeah, maybe. What time does this thing of Swan's start this weekend?" he inquired. I squinted my eyes wondering what game he was playing now.

"Why, what's it to you?" I knew that Alice definitely wouldn't have invited him.

He unbuttoned his shirt sleeves, rolling them up to his elbows while answering me. "Well, Bella invited me and said I should ask you for the details," he shrugged. I was momentarily stunned speechless. _You've got to be fucking kidding me._

"Did she now?" I was internally seething, but I couldn't let that show. "When did this invitation take place exactly? She hasn't said anything to me about it."

"Why would she? You aren't friends, right?" He had me there, but Bella knew how much my siblings disliked the guy, so I couldn't see her willingly doing something that may anger or upset them. It wasn't in her character, as far as I could tell.

I pushed my hands in my pockets and leaned back in my seat. "No, but I'm still pretty sure I would have heard about it from Alice. After all, they are best friends," I explained. He regarded me for a moment before replying.

"I bumped into her in the grocery store the other day. She was extremely excited about her birthday coming up, and said she wanted me there to celebrate it with her. Now how could I say no to the poor girl when it obviously meant that much to her?" This didn't sound like her at all. Granted, I found the girl confusing, and evidently didn't know every little detail about her, but excited about her birthday? That was complete bullshit. I'd heard her say repeatedly that she didn't care for such celebrations. Why was he lying?

"Well I guess it's good you accepted her offer then, isn't it?" I replied. "Regarding the time though? I really wouldn't know. Like you just said, we aren't friends. Alice is your best bet for that information." I had forgotten we weren't alone until I heard huffing and irritable murmurings. "Also, I'm going to be too busy with my own company to worry about what they're all going to be up to," I smirked, making sure to purposely make eye contact with Tanya. She seemed pleased by this, leaning forward more on the table to bring herself closer to me, her breasts trying to push their way out of her lowly buttoned shirt. Too bad for her I was lying through my teeth. Perhaps I could meet her someplace after? Or, if I happened to be in a good mood, I may even drive us both somewhere more private. Since Bella had been in my car, surely I could also make Tanya an exception too? I fucking hated that _she_ had once again unconsciously forced me to start breaking my own carefully crafted rules.

He laughed, shaking his head while motioning for Laurent to get up. "Well, I guess I'll just have to find some way to keep the birthday girl occupied. Wouldn't want her to be lonely now." God, he was smarmy bastard.

"I doubt she'll be lonely, what with her boyfriend planning to be there and all," I shrugged, grabbing a carrot stick off Chelsea's plate and giving her a wink.

"What boyfriend?" he asked, looking miffed and rather pissed. I shook my head, not willing to give that particular piece of information out. If he wanted to know, he could find that out himself. Plus, she hadn't admitted to them actually dating, however much it looked to an outsider like they were.

"Don't know his name," I said untruthfully. "Big fucker, though," I stated, which wasn't a lie. The kid looked like he'd been knocking back the steroids. I doubted this would, in any way, intimidate James, but from the undulated rage that was brewing behind his eyes, it made it all worth it.

"Nah, you must be thinking of someone else. If she had a boyfriend, she wouldn't be considering a date with me." An unkind smile was threatening to make an appearance on his face, his harsh eyes looking even more threatening with the reflected fluorescent lighting.

"James man, we better get going if you want to finish that thing of yours," Laurent sighed, his stance screaming boredom. James gave a disarming smile to the girls around us before slapping me on the back, a little too roughly for friendly banter.

"See you later," he drawled, giving me a salute. I punched him on the arm in response, in what people would assume to be a perfectly normal departing gesture. Well, except the fact I put a lot more force behind it than necessary. His jaw clenched minutely in reaction.

"Sure thing." I turned my back to him, effectively dispelling him from my sight. The heavy soles of his boots clanging on the floor my only evidence of his departure. I seriously didn't know what the guy's problem was with me. It only seemed to be getting worse as time went on. We had started off on okay terms, but I think he found me too much competition for his liking. He was happy to sit in the background on a lot of occasions with his silently lethal disposition, apart from when it came to me. I think, I, for some reason, just got under his skin without even having to do anything.

The thought actually made me smile.

"Thank god he's gone, he gives me the creeps," Jessica sniffed while applying some sickeningly bright shade of pink to her lips.

"Jealously isn't your colour," Victoria sneered, baring her teeth in a hostile manner. "Your skin is already flawed as it is."

I looked on, watching how Jessica angrily snapped her lipstick shut with a loud click. "Like I would be jealous over _that_," she snorted. "He needs a good wash. Plus would a haircut kill the guy? I mean seriously, he probably moults more than my kitty, Choo Choo." I couldn't help but snigger at that one. That was the funniest thing I'd heard her say.

"What? Your _pussy_ moults? It sounds like you need a good waxing," she quipped. _God, I'm glad I never actually ate any of my lunch. It would be trying to make a reappearance right about now if I had bothered to do so._ Half of the table had left by now, not wanting to get caught up in the little bitch-fest. Most were too scared they would be chucked out of their little group, or become ostracized if they were ever to speak up. I guess Jessica was just too stupid to know when to keep her moth shut, and Victoria was far too fiery to keep quiet. Her words, more often than not, matched perfectly to the angry red shade of her hair.

"I think that's my cue to leave," I said suddenly. This was not my idea of fun. Childish bitching did nothing for me. "Tanya, if you can give me your number, I'll text you the time and then you can let everyone else know."

Lauren bristled slightly next to her cousin. "Or you could just text me, I mean, you already have my number, it would make things easier," she replied far too sweetly.

"If I had wanted to do that, I would have suggested it," I snapped, my bad mood making another comeback. Tanya smiled in victory and relayed her number to me, ignorant of the hostile glares she was getting from her so called "friends". They were all pretty heinous when you truly thought about it. I started to think I should have been looking elsewhere to satisfy my urges, maybe Port Angeles? They had a school-full of unmet girls. I stood and mumbled a "see ya later," only bothering to look at whoever happened to be in my line of sight. I would be seeing some of their faces in biology in just a short while anyway. In other words; I would be moving on from a bunch of irritating girls to just one. I really needed that fucking cigarette.

I breezed into biology, a little more relaxed after my much needed nicotine fix and ignored the head shake from Mr. Banner. Jeez, I was like two minutes late and the guy was all disappointment. Good thing he didn't have kids, otherwise the guy would have been a fucking head case with all his crazy head shaking - not to mention pretty damn dizzy. I'd probably see him outside smoking his own cigarette to relieve his stress. He wouldn't be so disapproving then, I bet. I smirked at the floor when I felt a certain pair of eyes watching me. I knew it was her by the fact the hairs on my arms started to bristle. I didn't look at her as I made my way to my seat, slowing down when walking behind her. I wanted to make her think I was going to do something that she wouldn't be happy about.

In the end, I'm sure she wouldn't have been pleased by either outcome.

I saw her body tense as I paused for a moment, slumping into my seat wordlessly when a minute had passed. I flung my books onto the desk and started tapping my pen in a stacker beat along the wooden edge. _I swore I heard her breathing become harsh._ I still refused to look at her, which was completely different from my actions so far this week. She would expect me to turn in my stool and tease her mercilessly all lesson until she had had enough and snapped at me. The routine had been pretty solid up to now. A little diversity would be fun. Well for me anyway. _There I go with my asshole behaviour again._

I listened to Mr. Banner drone on about blood cells...well I say listen, watch was more precise. It was all in my book anyway. Plus, I knew I'd be able to keep up without having to have him explain it to me. I was blessed with a photographic memory, which I treasured. I knew for a fact if I didn't have it, I would be utterly screwed come study time, let alone the exams that always followed. I was pretty fucking thankful for it.

A knock at the door caught my attention. The school secretary, Mrs. Cope, popped her head around the edge to ask for a word with Mr. Banner. She apologized for interrupting, her beady eyes scanning the classroom with an eager glint. _Nosy busybody._ Anyone would think she'd never seen a room full of kids before. Low chatter soon commenced with the teacher's attention otherwise diverted. I could see a few students covertly trying to listen in to their conversation. I didn't know why we all did it, as if whatever they were talking about would be something utterly shocking and gossip-worthy, as if their lives outside of the classroom was filled with intrigue and excitement. I highly fucking doubted it. They probably went home to an overfed cat or miserable partner, then proceeded to watch re-runs of Wheel of Fortune with a TV dinner perched on their laps, a separate area for each food item on the plastic tray.

"Alright, quiet down," Mr. Banner directed the class. "I have to go to the office for a few minutes, so just read on from your textbooks silently." _Yeah, like anyone would actually do that._ I don't know why they even bothered to say it. They couldn't possibly believe we would actually do as they said? It was free reign, even the shyest of students couldn't not get involved somehow. It may have been just sneaking their mobile out of their bag to make them look busy, or to simply surreptitiously glance around the room. To some it was their way of going against authority, making them feel a little less left-out and also somehow filled them with a sense of excitement.

Mr. Banner left the room with a click of the door, everyone waiting a few seconds until their voices finally grew in sound. I removed my blazer, draping it across the edge of the desk to my left and rolled my sleeves of my white shirt to my elbows. The heating was on full blast today making the small room feel stuffy. I continued my previous activity of tapping my pen while staring out the window.

"God will you quit doing that, it's annoying." I resisted the urge to tell her that was the whole point, instead swinging around on my stool to face her. She was staring at me with her lips puckered into that cute pout thing she does when she's annoyed or confused, her nose wrinkling slightly to accentuate it.

"Really? I think it's rather calming," I replied, doing it again for emphasis. She tilted her head back, letting out an aggravated growl behind clenched teeth. _She was in feisty mood today. Excellent._

"Yeah, maybe to you," she snapped irritably. I carried on ignoring her, my eyes alight with amusement. "Stop it," she growled again, slamming her hand down on mine to halt my movements. Her gaze was strong and commanding, not willing to back down. I merely smirked.

"You know, if you wanted to hold my hand so bad all you had to do was ask," I teased, swiftly turning my palm upwards to catch hers in a lock. She tried to pull away, but my grasp was unwavering, resulting in her quickly shifting our linked hands under the desk when Newton approached our bench.

"Hiya Mike," I said in an overly friendly voice, trying not to laugh at his shocked expression.

"Yeah, err...Edward," he replied bewildered. He looked between the two of us. Me with an uncharacteristic smile on my face and Bella with a frown. "I was hoping I could ask you something Bella?" he spoke hesitantly, darting his eyes to me, as if I somehow had the power to stop him, maybe even wondering if I would forbid him to talk to her at all. _Jesus, I wasn't that much of a dick._

I shrugged my shoulders, focusing my attention on Bella, loving how her cheeks bloomed in a hearty shade of pink when I started to run my thumb over the back of her hand, feeling the soft skin across her knuckles, my own skin practically gliding along - it was so smooth.

"What's up Mike?" she asked, taking a calming breath. She licked her lips and startled jiggling her knee under the desk. I moved our still joined hands and rested them upon her moving knee. Her jiggling automatically stopped, however the grip on her hand grew stronger. I bet her fingers were more pale than usual right about now with the force she was using. She should know better than to think that would deter me.

"I got my invitation to your party on Saturday..." he didn't get a chance to finish his sentence as Bella had cut it.

"Wait, whoa. What invitation?" she asked, confusion sweeping across her face. Her brows were furrowed, each gravitating to the space in between her eyes.

"You know, the ones Alice has been giving out to everyone." Her face paled and I couldn't help but feel a teeny bit sorry for her. My sister was unstoppable in these situations._ You have my sympathy._

"Oh god," she groaned, using her free hand to hide her face, her hair flying from left to right as she shook her head in despair. "Yeah, carry on," she requested after a minute.

He stood up a little straighter, and attempted to puff out his chest like a humanized version of Buzz Lightyear - 'To infinity and beyond!' and all the rest of the shit. "I was wondering if I could be your date." A small gasp left her lips while I choked on a snort._ Too fucking funny_.

"I'm sure you'd like that, wouldn't you, B?" I prompted. Her head snapped up and the glare she shot me was probably the best to date. I used to get so angry when she did that, but now I was able to find the humour in it. I even almost _liked_ it.

She squinted her eyes and dug her nails into my skin, causing me to flex my hand a little. _She really was in a fighting mood today_, I thought to myself.

"Thanks for the offer Mike, but it's not that kind of thing," she replied while giving him a gentle smile, the corner of her lips turning up softly.

I just had to interrupt. "Who said it can't be? Put the boy out of his misery and say yes," I suggested, loosening my pointer finger and aimlessly drawing patterns across the skin just above the knee. Mike was looking all hopeful, making it all the more amusing.

She kicked my leg pretty damn hard before answering. I had to stifle a groan. "I really appreciate you asking, but I'm not looking to date anyone right now."

"But what about Jake? Does he know this?" I added, watching how her face literally boiled in anger.

"Isn't that the kid from the beach? The one you were with a few weeks back?" Mike questioned, his expression instantly changing to one of distaste.

"Yeah, that would be him," I responded, indicating for Mike to come a little closer. "She's usually all over him, but I don't think they're exclusive or whatever. You should totally go for it at the party, you know...wait until she's alone or whatever. I'm sure she likes you, she's probably just playing hard to get, you know how girls act," I whispered, rolling my eyes. His features read shock but then he snapped out of it, immediately taking in my words of fake encouragement and nodded his head positively. Bella couldn't hear a word of what I was saying and I knew it was eating away at her from her stony countenance.

"Yeah, you're right," he voiced, looking jovial once again. "I guess we'll just see how Saturday plays out. Save me a dance," he added, winking at her before turning away back to his own seat.

As soon as his back was turned, I bent over the desk and silently chuckled into my arm, thankful that the class was noisy and I wasn't drawing his attention back to us. My laughter would have given me away, and it wouldn't have taken a genius to realize I had just played his ass.

"What the hell did you say to him?" she demanded, picking up our hands to thump them on my leg. I brought them higher up my thigh, reveling in the way her eyes widened and her throat bobbed.

"Now that would be telling. You'll just have to wait and see," I answered, inching our hands a bit higher.

"You wouldn't dare," she whispered, eyes on my crotch. My cock seemed to be aware that it was being watched, the twitch almost coming off as a wave in greeting.

"I wouldn't dare to do what?" I asked, loving how her skin flushed once more. She shifted in her seat, evidently second guessing herself and ultimately not willing to answer my question.

"Nothing," she murmured, not meeting my gaze. She attempted to snatch her hand away and this time I let her. Mr. Banner came back not ten seconds after, so it was rather good timing. The rest of the class passed without any further incidents. Bella ignored me completely. Her actions were always bemusing. Was she embarrassed? Surely not.

The class filed out the door after the bell, the hallways filled with chaos. I spotted Ben chatting with Angela by a set of lockers by the main entrance; I gave a good-natured eye roll. He was spending nearly all his waking minutes with the girl, I couldn't even contemplate wanting or needing to spend that much time with another. To feel that pull so strongly that you'd have to sacrifice your wants for the other person. I guess I really was as emotionally retarded and stunted as I seemed.

I drove through the slick roads, the glimmer of light in this miserable day making the wet ground appear to glisten. As I was nearing the cut-off point to my driveway, a movement caught my eye. I slowed down and turned to look, noticing Leah Clearwater putting out a bag of trash. She caught my eye and waved, hesitating a bit before walking towards my vehicle. I parked on the edge of the curb in front of her house, getting out to meet her at the end of her garden.

"Hey," she greeted me with a small hug, catching me a little off guard, but not making me uncomfortable. "Haven't seen you around for a while," she accused, leaning back to cross her arms over her chest.

"Yeah, I've been pretty busy lately," I replied, rubbing the back of my neck.

"Oh, I've heard all about your...what did you call it? 'Busyness?'" she laughed, earning a playful scowl from me.

"Yeah, yeah cut it out," I mumbled, earning another laugh. "How have you been lately anyway? You know after the whole..." I left off, still not comfortable talking about it.

She became still, focusing her attention on a weed sticking up between a crack in the concrete. The wind picked up speed, her hair created an ebony cloak behind her head. "Yeah, I'm okay. Better now anyway. You know what they say about time and all that," she said, giving me a half-hearted smile.

"Yeah," I said awkwardly. "My dad asked about you the other day, and I didn't know what to tell him. Sorry about not checking in for a while," I added earnestly.

"Don't apologize, Dumbass, I know you number, not to mention where you live. If I needed to talk, I would have." I felt lighter after her words, the previous guilt I'd felt lessening. "Although, I have been spending a lot of time with Jake, so the opportunity to catch up hasn't really arisen." I laughed humourlessly at her words. That was an understatement.

"Yeah, he seems to be everywhere at the moment," I answered moodily. "So, you still haven't told him then, I presume?" Anger flickered briefly in her eyes before being replaced with sadness.

"No, and I'm not going to either. It's not important that he knows," she told me. "The only reason you're bringing it up is because you want to hurt him," she scolded. I didn't, and couldn't deny it. She was partially right.

"He started it all," I responded childishly, earning a snort from her.

"You're both stubborn mules," she reprimanded, playfully pushing my arm. I smirked in response and flipped her the bird, earning another hearty chuckle. That's one thing about Leah that I'd always liked; you could always act yourself without her taking offense. She was undeniably beautiful, but always seemed like one of the guys. Just easy to be around...well if you weren't intimidated, that is. She was a ball buster, alright.

"I finally met..." she trailed off when she spotted Em's Jeep coming down the road, music blaring from its interior. He pulled up opposite us, Bella jumped down and gave Rose and Alice an awkward hug from her position on the ground. "Speak of the devil," Leah voiced, earning my attention once more.

"You know her?" I asked. She snapped her gaze away from my family and ran a hand through her long hair.

"Not really. I did meet her a few days ago," she recalled. "Saying that though, I feel as if I've known her for years the amount Jake talks about her. The boy's smitten." All this talk of him was leaving a bad taste in my mouth...and a longing for a period in the gym with the punching bag.

"Yeah, they seem quite the couple," I sneered, my eyes lingering on Bella's legs as she shut the door and waved at the retreating Jeep. Leah was eyeing me curiously and looked like she was about to say something else when Bella spun around and froze when she saw us standing there. A wicked gleam spread through Leah's dark, soulful eyes, a smile soon appearing to match.

Bella looked between us, questions no doubt brewing behind her captive eyes. She gave a timid wave to Leah, adding a small smile at the last second. I think we were both equally shocked when Leah called her over. However, she also appeared a little nervous, her feet stumbling occasionally as she made her way over.

"Hey," she greeted, watching us both cautiously. I smirked at her, her face paling when she concluded that I no doubt had something up my sleeve that would annoy her. That chin jut she did when she was squaring off to me made a return and I knew her nervousness had dissipated. She was yet again going to give as good back. Adrenaline fueled my body, sparks of anticipation attacking me at all corners.

"Swan, you just can't stay away, can you?" I grabbed her around the waist, bringing the side of her body flush with mine. "I hear you've met Leah before?"

She nodded her head and elbowed my in the ribs. "Yeah, I have. Nice to see you again," she said, while smiling at the confused girl next to me.

"I didn't realize you two were so close," Leah voiced somewhat accusatory, mostly looking at Bella.

"Believe me, we're not," Bella answered, glaring up at me.

I lowered the hand that was around her waist until it came to the back of her skirt, my fingers lingering tauntingly at the hem. I knew she couldn't make a big deal of it and let on what I was doing in front of Leah, not when she happened to be so close to Black. She wouldn't want to give the wrong impression. "She loves me really," I winked. "It's all part of an act. She calls me up all the time. We hang out, braid each others hair, do a bit of groping..." I burst out laughing at the colour of Bella's face; she was positively fuming.

Leah was looking at me oddly, then going back to watch Bella very closely, obviously wondering what the hell was going on.

"He's lying," Bella quickly mumbled. "Excuse us a moment." She grabbed my hand and pulled me away a few meters, stopping to give me a fierce shove to the chest. "Listen asshole, I know what you're trying to do, so you might as well quit it now. It will get you nowhere," she seethed, her hands clenched into fists at her sides.

"If that's true, then why did you drag me all the way over here to say that?" I inquired. "Want a little alone time, huh? We could go play in your room for a bit?" I suggested playfully. She bit her lip and stormed away from me, muttering expletives under her voice. She was saying things to Leah, gesturing wildly with her arms before shooting me a glare over her shoulder. I don't think I'd had this much fun with a girl before. Or been as equally stressed.

I strolled back over, reaching them just as they started discussing Jake. _Fucking great. Fun times are ahead._ I mentally rolled my eyes.

"He mentioned something about a birthday this weekend." Bella let out a deep breath and shifted her bag on her shoulder.

"Yeah, unfortunately," she breathed. "Did you...err...would you like to come? It would be a chance to hang out." She warily watched Leah, most likely thinking she would refuse. Her shoulders visibly relaxed when her invitation was accepted.

"Yeah, okay, I'll speak to Jake," she offered. A silence followed, no one quite knowing what to say.

"I've got to go start dinner. I'll see you Saturday," Bella smiled, before turning to face me. Her smile dropped.

"I suppose I'll probably see you later. Although tomorrow sounds better," she replied sweetly. _And the smile has now returned_. She turned on her heel, checked there were no cars coming and crossed the road, entering her house and closing the door behind her. I wasn't aware I had been watching until Leah gave my leg a sharp kick.

"Ouch, what was that for?" I asked, rubbing the spot where the pain was emanating from.

"You know what," she sighed. "And I think you should be careful with that one," she reprimanded seriously. I didn't know why she would say that, but I nodded my head anyway.

"I'm just playing with her, joking around." I hoped this would placate her.

"I know you're not a bad person, Edward but sometimes games don't always turn out how you want them to," she whispered, wrapping her leather jacket tighter around herself. I knew instantly why she had said it, but didn't want to bring anything up again.

"I better get home, but I'll see you Saturday, okay?" I said softly, putting my arm around her shoulder. She nodded her head and snapped out of her own thoughts, smirking at me and doing that whole fingers to the eyes "I'm watching you" shit. I winked and got back into the car, winding down the window to tell her to tell Seth "hi" and to carry on his piano playing. The kid had some major talent. I beeped the horn and turned off down the drive, bits of gravel flying up off the ground as my wheels spun in their haste. Or rather mine.

Esme ran out to meet me as soon as I pulled up, a bag which looked to be filled with containers full of food in her hands.

"Edward, dear, would you be able to do me a favour? You see, your father got called into work and I know he hasn't eaten hardly anything in the past few days and he forgot this...so I was wondering if you'd drop this off at the hospital for me?" I let out the breath I'd been holding and agreed. I hated hospitals, always had. The faces around you screamed despair and sadness. It was always really hard to take. A lot of the time you think you have it bad, then you walk in there and you feel like such a douche. You realize your shit has nothing on what these people are going through, and hopefully never will.

I breezed through the automatic doors, heading for the stairs to my father's office. The staff at the front desk knew all my family, so we were free to go anywhere without any hassle. I got to the right floor, poking my head into my father's room to see it empty. I debated just leaving the food on his desk for him, but decided to just wait outside. There was a kid in the waiting area by the office, a child's keyboard sat in the space in front of him on the floor. He had a determined look on his face, going back for another try at what he was attempting to play. It was Chopsticks. I gazed around the rest of the room, wondering what he was doing up there by himself.

"Who are you?" The boy stared at me, his curiousness apparent by the scrunch of his face. I shifted on my feet, hoping Dad would hurry up.

"I'm Edward, my dad's a doctor here," I replied, setting the bag on one of the many cushioned seats. "What you doing up here by yourself, are you lost or some sh...I mean do you need any help?"_ God, idiot. Swearing is a no-no._ I don't think anyone would thank me if this kid caught any of my colourful phrases.

"I'm Anthony and I'm waiting for Dr. Carlisle to come back. He had to quickly get a chart so I asked to play on this while I waited," he explained, pointing to the keyboard. "There was another woman here but she had to go use the bathroom. Is she your mother?" I laughed aloud at this, picturing my father's secretary.

"Oh, um okay," I answered. "And no, she isn't my mother." I ran my hand through my hair, relieved to find that Carlisle wouldn't be much longer.

"Can you play this?" he asked, an eager smile on his face. He must have only been about six, bright blue eyes and dark brown curly hair. He was incredibly articulate for his age and must be pretty intelligent if he could already play pieces.

"Yeah, I can play," I informed him, looking at his excitement before settling myself on the floor next to him. _Why the hell not? _I started randomly playing a few songs, they obviously didn't sound the same as they would on a better quality instrument, but they were still recognizable.

"Wow," he said in awe, watching my fingers fly across the keys. "I want to be just like you when I grow up, so I can play as good," he stated proudly.

I stopped playing and smiled sadly down at him, wondering if he would even get the chance to be my age. "I don't think you'd want to be me, kid," I replied, clearing my throat. "Anyway, you sounded pretty good earlier, just carry on practicing and you'll be great," I encouraged. His answering smile was dazzling and he got right back to playing. A throat cleared from the doorway. My father was leaning against the door frame with his arms crossed lazily over his chest, a small inquisitive smile present. His secretary came through the doors hurriedly, seemingly grateful to see that the boy was okay and started apologizing about having to leave him. She thought she had food poisoning. She was told to go home, that it couldn't be helped, and to let him know when she was well enough to come back so he could get a suitable cover if needed.

I got to my feet, holding my fist out to Anthony who looked at it strangely. "You bump it," I told him, gently tapping my clenched hand against his as a demonstration. He did it again, letting out a small giggle.

"Will you come back and see me?" he suddenly blurted, looking up at me with hopeful eyes and making it pretty fucking hard to say no.

I ran my hand restlessly through my hair and chanced another glance at Carlisle. He winked at me before stepping into his office, looking almost proud or some shit. "Sure kid, I'll come back and see you."

"Cool. Bye Edward, thanks for sitting with me." I smiled and grabbed the lunch bag off the chair, heading for the office door.

I sat down in the seat opposite my father, dumped the bag on his desk and pushed it towards him. "From Mom," I said, motioning towards the food. "She's worried you're not eating enough and asked me to drop it off."

"That was kind of you. Thanks," he said gratefully. I simply nodded, tapping my foot on the floor, feeling a little awkward.

"He liked you," my father expressed, a smile on his face. "He's usually quiet around people he isn't used to."

"Huh," I shrugged. "So what's wrong with him anyway?" I asked, focusing my attention wholly on my father's face.

"He's been diagnosed with Acute Leukemia, which is the most common form of the disease found in children." My father watched me closely, obviously awaiting my reaction.

I studied a poster on the wall in the office while I asked my next question. "Will he survive?" There was a pause of silence before he finally answered.

"With the right kind of treatment...yes, we're confident that he can fight it." I let out a breath I didn't even know I'd been holding. "There's a higher success rate in children overcoming it than adults, but then there's always a chance that they won't. We just have to do our best and stay positive."

"Yeah, that's good," I said genuinely. "Anyway, I better get home. I'll see you..." I paused and looked at him, not knowing when exactly he would be home.

"I'll be home later this evening," he assured. "And thank your mother for me please," he added, smiling at the brown paper bag.

I got to my feet and stretched a little, my muscles a little achy from sitting awkwardly on the floor a few moments ago. "Yeah, will do," I promised, leaving the room and heading once more for the stairs.

I cut the engine in the driveway for the second time that day, hoping like hell no one else was going to ask anything of me. I accidentally slammed the front door to the house behind me, immediately saying sorry to an annoyed looking Esme. _She hated when we did that shit._ I made sure to relay Dad's message to her before trudging my way to my room to get changed.

Alice's bedroom door was opened when I walked past, apologies being made from within. Bella was sitting with her hands clasped in her lap looking incredible guilty about something.

"He just sprung it on me, and I felt cornered. I really am sorry, I know how much you all dislike him. I hate being put on the spot like that, I just couldn't help feeling guilty about it," she whispered earnestly. Alice shook her head and hugged her, telling her to stop being so stupid.

"Yeah, we'll just ignore the prick," Rose encouraged. This cheered Bella up as she started giggling, essentially diving on her to hug her. Emmett noticed me standing in the doorway and pointed to the scene on the bed, his eyebrows wiggling. _Horny fucker._

I cleared my throat and entered, setting myself down in Alice's desk chair so I was straddling it, and wheeled it over until I was nearer the bed. "So, this is what you lot get up to when I'm not here? You watch Bella and Rose hump each other. I'm insulted I haven't been invited before," I teased, smirking at an irate Rosalie.

"Jealous much?" she smirked back, pulling down her partially ridden up shirt.

"No, I'll just have you two re-enact it for me later," I grinned, looking pointedly at Bella now. "In private."

"I like the way your mind works sometimes, E," Em laughed, rubbing his hands together teasingly before hovering over the both of them like some kind of ogre with his hands in a grabbing motion. Bella jumped off the bed with a laugh and hid behind Jazz, effectively removing herself from the equation. Rosalie just arched her brow at him with her arms across her chest with a "you touch me and I knee you where it hurts" kind of expression. _Looks like the no sexing was still in place. No wonder he looked like somebody had kicked his puppy. Or eaten the last of the chicken._

"You guys are all pervs," Alice admonished, pushing Jazz away.

"What? I didn't say anything," he laughed disbelievingly before capturing her waist in his arms and carrying her into the bathroom. "If you think I have such a dirty mind you better help me get clean." The door closed behind them, squeals came from inside. _Fucking gross. If he wasn't my best friend I'd beat his ass. _Plus, Alice would get all vengeful and destroy my car or something. I wouldn't put anything past my occasionally-evil twin. You should have seen what she did to our neighbour in Chicago when their youngest son chopped off all the hair from her Barbie dolls and crushed the accompanying Dream House. Let's just say, that the god-awful smell of rotten food emanating from their flowerbeds wasn't from animals. Alice had only been eight. _Yeah...exactly._

Bella strolled towards me with a sigh, grabbing my arm and pulling me towards the door.

"Where are you two off to?" Rose shouted, looking confused. _Yeah, you're not the only one nut-cracker._

"She must want to go re-enact that scene, only with me. Sorry Rose, you're obviously not her type," I winked, hissing when Bella's nails dug into my arm.

"We've got to go check on out our plants and take some notes," Bella cut in while glaring at me. "Edward here, doesn't know when to keep his mouth shut with his inappropriate fantasies."

I laughed and let her continue to pull me out the door. "If we're talking about activities to keep mouths shut..."

"Don't even think about saying what I know you're about to say," she shouted over her shoulder. I laughed loudly, watching as she fumbled down the stairs with me behind her, her hand still gripping my sleeve tightly.

We passed an amused looking Esme on our way out, Bella telling me to stop dragging my feet while giving a wave to my mother. Those two had a strong connection, it made me want to ask her about her own mother and why she didn't talk about her much. Then I grasped the fact that I wouldn't be around for those types of conversations, and even if I was, we would never venture to those categories. I had to keep reminding myself we weren't friends, the easy banter we shared sometimes made me forget. When you spent so much time thinking and being with another, it was difficult to dissociate between the two. But in this case, it was ultimately necessary.

"Christ Bella, that eager to get me alone and out of sight are you?" I asked, my voice full of humour, and mild aggravation at being dragged like a scolded child.

"Shut up, Edward," was her great comeback, a sigh accompanying her words.

"Someone's certainly cranky today, wake up on the wrong side of the bed?" She finally let go of me as we entered the greenhouse, she went straight to the pots and assessed them.

"And what makes you think I woke up in my own bed...alone?" I snapped my attention back to her, ignoring the pots of soil. Her back towards me so I couldn't get a read on her face. I didn't want to have to seek that information out. So what if she spent the night with Jacob Black? If she's stupid enough to do it then that's her choice. Yes, I could have been described as a hypocrite right then, thinking the worst of her for doing so, when I didn't exactly live like a monk. But still, it was _Jacob._ Even Rose disliked the guy more than she did me - which said a hell of a fucking lot in my book.

"Where did I put that notepad?" Bella was mumbling to herself, chewing on her bottom lip while searching the greenhouse. I don't even think she was conscious that I was still with her. Then my eyes spied where she had placed it. _Perfection_.

I stepped up behind her and informed her I knew of its location. "Well, get it then," she snapped, her patience lessening with my stalling. She asked me, so it would have been impolite for me to decline. My hand traveled down her spine, my fingers brushed against warm cotton I soon came to the rougher material of denim, her jeans molded to her curves dangerously. My palm sculpted around the cheek of her ass, her body going stiff with my actions.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" she asked breathlessly, her muscles tight with tension. I swallowed thickly, my palm itching to squeeze as I came to the edge of the notepad. I pulled it from her pocket, a gust of air leaving her lips instantly.

I placed it on the surface in front of her, bringing my body flush with her back. "Just doing what you asked me to," I whispered, pushing her hair away from her neck and running the tip of my nose along her skin.

"I didn't ask you to do what you're doing _now_," she voiced, attempting to scold me, but it came out far more weakly than I'm sure she would've liked. Her fingers shook as she started scribbling some notes, her writing appearing more untidy than usual.

"You can always tell me to stop," I breathed, gently nipping her skin between my teeth. Her head tilted fractionally to the side, such a teeny movement that I didn't know if I imagined it. "But I don't think you will." Her hands stilled and her body became even more tense if that was even possible. She twisted herself around and pushed me away, her eyes wide, darting at anything other than myself.

"Then you don't know me at all." She took a few more notes and left wordlessly, not once glancing in my direction.

Clarity hit me. I could guess at her feelings from her outward actions alone, but that was all they were - guesses. I would never know the thoughts inside her head. She was absolutely right. I didn't know her.

I hated the fact that a part of me wanted to.

* * *

**I know, I know. Trust me, there is a change coming very soon. I would, as ever, love to hear your thoughts. Thanks for reading! VHL xx**


	13. Chapter 13

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Bella

Today was my eighteenth birthday. Some perceived this age should mean something; that I should feel a little wiser and older - but I didn't. I was still looked upon as a child. I guess until you could walk into a bar, order a pitcher of beer and drink it without an incredulous eye bat, you were still "little" Bella who lived in this small town with your Chief of police father.

That was what had been happening to me since stepping foot into Newton's diner.

Charlie wanted to take me to breakfast since he wouldn't be around for the better part of the day. Alice had arranged everything perfectly. Charlie would be going night fishing and not returning until the next day from fear of entering a house full of adolescent girls. I was quite positive that was actually his worst fear. He'd rather go investigate suspicious, and more than likely, dangerous situations than have to listen to a house-full of females talking about kissing and boys and anything pink. Of course, I didn't do any of that, but Alice had planted the seed. It hadn't even had time to grow before he'd offered to stay out of the house. Charlie never stood a chance. I would have been happy enough to stay at home with him and cook for us both while he watched sports on the TV, then retired to bed in the evening. I had never been the type of girl to want to stay out late and experience every cliché out there. I knew for a fact that if I was still living with Renee, she would have tried to do something special without my asking for it. I guess I was just like my dad in that way - I didn't need to be doing anything out of the ordinary to feel content. Happiness is not something everyone out there gets to experience. Surely at the end of the day if you feel some part of it– however small that part may be – that's all that matters, right?

Alice said happy people had parties; so I was having a party. She told me this after my fifth attempt at trying to change her mind. I shouldn't have wasted my breath.

I continued to peruse the menu at Newton's, endeavoring to hide my recognizable face behind the leather bound book. I don't know why I thought this tactic would be successful - I mean, what other female would be sitting with Charlie? It's not like he'd be taking a convict out for a bite-to-eat. _I need to read up on my undercover skills. Maybe start wearing a few disguises. I'm sure I could pull of the Hermione Granger look – all I'd need is a frizzy wig and a broom, and preferably a kid with a dodgy scar and glasses. If I find a red haired boy with a dopey face then all the better._

Good god, can't someone take our order already? I almost wanted to start whimpering like a puppy and pretend I had a thorn in my paw so we would have to leave immediately. I could see Mrs. Crowley about to come over and wish me happy birthday just like half of the diner already had. Mrs. Newton had been the worst so far, hugging me and telling me I was a beautiful girl, and just so darn cute. _I wanted to barf_. She even gave me a present – a Hello Kitty notepad and pen. _Seriously...I kid you not._ A tree died only to have the face of a freaky kitten stamped all over it. _There was something truly wrong with the world._ I smiled and said thank you, my manners thankfully not failing me now. However wrong it was, she was being thoughtful. Shame she hadn't applied the whole "thinking" part and used her brain to figure out I was eighteen and not eight. _Since when had I turned so ungrateful?_ Mr. Molina, a regular at the diner who worked down at the mill, actually thought I was fifteen and at first and didn't believe me when I told him my correct age. He'd even laughed. Needless to say I didn't find it all that amusing.

"Bella dear, happy birthday," Mrs. Crowley gushed, rubbing my shoulder. _Oh my god, her false nails would do some serious damage if she wasn't careful. I don't think her husband would be __all that eager for hand jobs._

"Thanks," I smiled, putting the menu back in its resting spot so she would have to remove her hand. Thankfully, Mike made his way to our table to take our orders, effectively cutting off any more conversation with a nosy parent.

"Hey Bella," he grinned, his pearly whites out in full display. "I'm really looking forward to tonight," he winked. My eyes bulged in my head and I took a surreptitious glance at Charlie to see if he had been listening. _No, thank god. I was actually pretty grateful claw lady was still here and taking up his attention._

"Mike, you're supposed to keep it quiet, remember?" I hissed from behind my hair. His smile dropped and he went kind of red in the cheeks.

"Shit, yeah sorry," he whispered back, bouncing on the tops of his feet. "I just forgot for a second." I let out a sigh and told him not to worry about it, and that I was sorry for snapping.

"I'm just not one for birthdays," I voiced, fiddling with a napkin from the basket. "You ready to order, Dad?" I asked as Mrs. Crowley finally left us alone.

"Yeah, I'll have the all day breakfast. Thanks, Mike," he answered, rubbing his hand over his 'stache.

"Sure thing," he replied while writing the order down. "And what will you have, Birthday Girl?" I held against wanting to bang my head against the table and close my eyes.

"I'll have the blueberry pancakes with a side of bacon, please." He finished writing everything down, drinks included - Charlie was having coffee, while I stuck to my usual orange juice. I very nearly went wild and chose apple, but decided against it at the last minute. I didn't want to jinx anything on this day. Knowing my luck, doing something as simple as changing my drink could have had major consequences; such as the waitress tripping and soaking me with the acidic beverage, or me spluttering and choking on it for all the patrons to see. Maybe having to have Mike come over and do the Heimlich Maneuver for fear of being sued for dangerous juice if I somehow started choking. _Gross, that so sounded double entendre in my head._ Those were the more pleasant things that sprung to mind. _My god those were some scary concepts. _I wonder if the whole, "it's my party and I'll cry if I want to" could still be held accountable for my sudden wanting to weep? Perhaps I'd save it for the actual party later. I may need it to bolt if shit got real.

"That Newton kid seems to have a bit of a thing for you," Charlie vocalized, a frown on his ageing face. I shifted awkwardly in my seat, choosing to focus my attention back on the napkin I had previously been decimating.

"Really? I hadn't noticed." It was actually pretty scary how easy it was to lie now. I didn't know whether to be worried about it or not. I mean, first comes lying, then stealing, then the next thing you know, you're pregnant with the paper boy's baby and dabbling in crack. Okay, so that's an over the top exaggeration. I guess it just didn't sit well with me. _Well, don't lie then, stupid. There, problem solved._

The doors to the kitchen swung open, and I actually thought my jaw had to be broken from the way it hung open. _Oh, god. Please let me be hallucinating._ When the sounds of 'Happy Birthday' started to fill the room, I knew I was done for. The crazy loons had gone and put candles in my pancakes, Mrs. Newton leading the damn parade of madness. They sat the plate in front of me, blue candle wax dripping onto my doughy goodness. _Hmm wax, my favourite. Well, it was certainly a different alternative to syrup, and a lot more colourful at that. Oh, and not forgetting, completely disgusting._ I chanced a look at Charlie and noticed that he was just as uncomfortable with the show as I was - which was a good thing, as I really didn't want to have to seek revenge on my own father. Dinner around the table might become a little awkward after that. Plus the guy had a gun, it was just common sense.

I smiled as genuinely as I could without wanting to stab my own fork in my hand, and started humming my own song in my head to drown out their cheerful chords. Mine had the word "pain" in it quite a lot.

"Tuck in dear, wouldn't want it to get cold." _Yes, Mrs. Newton, because the blue wax hasn't already wrecked my chance of eating all of it. The pancakes being a little cold is the last of my worries._

"Thanks," I replied, shoving a rasher of bacon in my mouth immediately, effectively taking me out of any conversation she was most certainly about to start with me. Again. She ruffled my hair affectionately as I were a dog and I had to stop myself from growling like one in response. _That woman is so on my shit list._

Quiet chuckles assaulted my ears and I could see Charlie laughing behind his napkin. I mock scowled at him before throwing a piece of wax coated pancake at him. "It's not funny," I mumbled, seeing his mustache twitching rapidly. Our laughter broke out at the same time, mine more of the snorting kind, as I had my mouth full of meat. I took a sip of juice to clear my throat, rolling my eyes at Charlie's grin, before eventually smiling shyly back at him. "We are never eating here again, for any type of occasion, whether it be a birthday or just to simply celebrate the demise of Old Lady Minton's lawn mover." _I swear she's taken out half of the town's wildlife with that thing._ Her grandson bought her a brand new one a few weeks back as her push-roller-blade antique machine just wasn't cutting it any more. No pun intended. Now she would fly around with the thing, it being far too powerful for her frail arms to control properly. Everyone knew to lock up their cats and dogs. Oh, and occasionally their children too. You can never be too careful.

We finished up our breakfast in companionable chit-chat. Charlie was never much of a talker, so I could tell he was making a special effort because it was my birthday. He really didn't need to do that. I knew he loved me, whether we said it aloud or not. He had his ways and I had mine. This was his way, trying to make me feel a little special by outwardly paying me more attention. I knew he constantly worried about me, and wanted the best things for me. He never needed to say what he was thinking for me to know. He usually kept stuff bottled up in that plaid covered chest of his, which worked well for the both of us - even if it did sometimes make me feel a little sad to think how hard it must have been for him when Mom had left with us both.

Charlie paid the bill while I made my way out to the cruiser, hopping in and closing the door behind me. I fiddled with the radio, trying to find a decent sound when there was a tap at my window. My hand flew to my chest where I could feel my heart beating a rapid rhythm. Mike stood outside, looking rueful for catching me off guard and shooting me an apologetic smile.

I wound down the window, being far too lazy to jump back out. "Sorry," he said quickly, "I just wanted to give you this while you were alone." He handed me a small box wrapped in silver paper - a messy bow attached to the top. I reached out hesitantly, my palms sweating slightly from dread. _Please don't let him have spent a lot of money on me. I really don't deserve it._

"Open it," he pushed, the excitement prominent in his voice, but also traced with just a hint of nervousness. I tore at the paper clumsily, blushing like crazy at what could be inside. I wanted to tell him no, that I didn't want it, but words seemed to be failing me. I pulled open the velvet casing to reveal a delicate silver necklace with the letter "B" dangling from it. It was simple, and totally me. Did I feel awkward accepting this gift? Hell yes. Would I wear it? Not sure. But did I actually like it? That would be another yes. It just felt really weird having a gift like this from someone that I wasn't all that close with. Mike was nice, and on occasions - when he wasn't being extremely suffocating - fun to be around. He was always helpful and polite, even though half the time he was staring at my chest rather than my actual face. I just didn't want him thinking that me accepting this gift from him was something meaningful. I really didn't want to hurt his feelings, but then I didn't want to not set him straight either. It was a very fine line to tread.

"This is too much, Mike," I said honestly, closing the box. "You shouldn't be giving me this."

He shook his head, taking a step back so he was out of reaching distance. "It's only a necklace, Bella. Friends can get other friends gifts," he stated confidently. I regarded him for a moment, thinking over his words before taking a sigh of resignation.

"Fine...okay, thanks," I replied, drawing my hand back through the open window. "But as long as you realize that's all this is, just a friend necklace," I said seriously, watching his face break out into a smile that didn't quite reach his eyes.

"Yeah, of course," he answered right away. "So, do you like it?" I nodded my head and gave him the truthful answer while smiling.

"I really do, thank you." It was the first time anyone had every brought me jewelery, and while I was a tad uncomfortable with whom it had come from, it was a first, so I determined to just look at it in a positive manner. Charlie breezed through the door at that moment, the signaling bell ringing in its high shrill. "I'll see you tonight," I whispered as Dad got into the cruiser. I waved with the hand still clutching the box as we reversed the car out of our space.

"What you got there?" Charlie asked, only giving it a very brief look before focusing his attention fully back to the road.

I quickly shoved the gift into my coat pocket along with my mittens. "Just a birthday present from Mike," I shrugged. He made a "uh huh" noise and I let out a sigh.

"Not a word," I mumbled, staring out the window.

"I wasn't going to say a thing," he chuckled, shaking his head and tapping his fingers on the steering wheel.

"Sure you weren't," I murmured sarcastically, hiding my own smile.

"So, have you heard from your mom yet this morning?" Charlie asked as we pulled into the driveway. I felt the smile instantly fall from my face and shook my head.

"Not yet, but I forgot my mobile, so maybe she called while we were out," I offered, trying not to get my hopes up. That wasn't like Renee. I mean, sure she could get forgetful and be so consumed with a new hobby that events or dates would occasionally slip her mind, but she would never forget my birthday. I couldn't help but feel hurt by it. I missed her a lot, which I wasn't expecting. I guess when you spend so much time with another person, and do things together on a daily basis, and then for all that to suddenly change...well it can be hard sometimes. You naturally miss them.

Just as I was about to bound the stairs, Charlie stopped me in my tracks. "Come in here in a second, will you, Kiddo? I have something for you." My hand dropped its light grip on the railing as I turned around and walked into the living room. He was sitting on the arm oh his recliner, two wrapped gifts in his hands.

I crossed my hands over my chest and smiled. "I thought I told you I didn't want anything?" He shrugged his shoulders and feigned ignorance.

"You know your mother as well as I do, and she specifically told me what to buy. Also, I didn't really want to get an earful down the receiver if I didn't...so here they are," he chuckled, knowing full well that she would do exactly what he had just accounted. I laughed lightly along with him and accepted the gifts. The first one was a digital camera that I knew Alice would put to full use soon enough, and the second was an album to store all said future pictures in. They were perfect. I had never been able to capture those moments with anyone but my mother, you know the ones you see in every rom-com out there where everyone is having a blast without knowing their picture is being taken. _It just shows how many stalkers there are in America, and half of them haven't even figured it out yet. When they become conscious of the fact they are photographing their mother-in-law while she just happens to be changing, is the same time they know they need to sort out there shit._ I saw it all on one of those true life movies once. Very educational for the disturbed. And everyone else who couldn't be bothered to leave the house at the time it was showing.

I uncharacteristically wrapped my arms around him, his hands coming to rest comfortably around my shoulders. "Thanks for the gifts, Dad," I mumbled into his shirt. He always smelled like freshly chopped wood and coffee.

"You're welcome," he responded, clearing his throat. He dropped his arms and stood with his palms resting on my shoulders. "Of course, this isn't your only gift, that should be here any day now." My forehead wrinkled in confusion. What else could I possibly need?

"Hmm, since when did you become so sneaky, Old Man?" I teased, carefully picking up the items from the chair and securing them to my chest so I wouldn't drop them.

"Hey, less of the old. I feel just fine," he answered, standing up a little straighter. "I've got a few years left in me yet, Kiddo."

"Must be all that healthy food you've been living off for years at the diner. I'm surprised they haven't named a steak after you yet." He rolled his eyes and grabbed the remote, switching it on to some sports channel. I chuckled and left the room with a skip in my step, in a much more jovial mood than I had been in earlier.

I placed my camera and album on my desk, unconsciously putting Mike's gift into my jeans pocket as I removed my coat, before powering up my computer. I had a laptop, but I loved to go old school now and then - and this thing was old. It must be nearly as old as Charlie. I checked my phone while waiting, noting with disappointment that there were no missed calls or unopened messages. Once the computer had finished powering up, I immediately opened my email, my eyes searching my inbox for a certain name. There it was, unopened and waiting for me to read. I clicked and scrolled through, reading as I went. Renee said the usual, that she loved me and was sorry she couldn't be there. She had apparently lost her new mobile – which didn't surprise me in the slightest – and thought she couldn't go wrong with sending me an email to wish me a happy birthday. I gave a quick reply, feeling better that she hadn't forgotten after all, and updated her on how I was doing in school and in general.

After I had shut off my computer and gave my room a mini tidy, I descended the stairs to make a sandwich, catching Charlie putting his fishing gear into the back of the cruiser from the living room window. I saw a familiar head of blonde hair appear beside him as he was making his way back inside, my eyes searching for her imminent companion. Alice, of course, was already ahead of them and jumped on me as soon she stepped through the door, forcing us both to fall back against the sofa cushions.

"Happy birthday, Bella!" she squealed, pulling back a little to look at me before grabbing me into another hug. "Tonight's going to be so fun, I just know it," she whispered in my ear, rocking us side to side.

"Jesus, Alice, since when did you turn into a parasite? I think Bella will be able to manage without you jumping all over her, or even worse, gluing yourself to her," Rose joked, giving me a comically-scary facial expression. Alice gave her the finger, managing to effortlessly turn it into a wave when Charlie entered the room.

"Hi, Chief Swan," Alice sang, bounding over to give him a side hug. _What can I say, the girl is obviously a hugging machine. She's like a fairy sharing her own form of happy dust...just with a lot more force and no wings. Although, I'm sure she has a pair in that closet of hers. No...don't think of that dark, dark place._

"I expect you girls to behave yourselves tonight, and if you need anything my number if on the refrigerator," he voiced after awkwardly patting Alice on the back.

"Don't worry, Chief, we already have your number in our phones," Rose responded sweetly with her hands clasped behind her back. Dad looked a little shocked, but nodded regardless.

"Well...okay then," he voiced, rubbing his chin. "Now, don't trash the place while I'm gone," he said giving us all what I liked to call "the cop face," his expression all stern and serious. We followed him to the door, leaving it open while he addressed us once more before he left for his overnight fishing trip. "I should be back tomorrow morning sometime. Now, not forgetting what I've said, remember to also have fun. Not _too_ much, mind you," he added with a chuckle, before getting into his car and giving the horn a beep as he drove away.

"One parent down, one set left to go," Rose announced slowly behind me as she slung an arm over both mine and Alice's shoulders.

Alice grabbed my hand and dragged me out the front door, Rose locked it behind her with a key._ What the hell, how does she have a key?_ Then I realized Alice must actually have had one after all. I'd bet money...and Poptarts – _what? I like the sweet pastry goodness_ - on the fact that she owned one to every house on the street. Or rather, Esme did and she just stole them when she needed to. I mean, if you went out of town and had to ask someone to watch over your house or feed your cat, or even the rats if you lived in squalor, I knew who I would trust to look after things. And yes, Esme would be first choice.

"Mom and Dad wanted to see you before they left, so we have to get them out of the house right now so we can set everything up. Time is not on our side," she said with a hint of annoyance, checking her watch and groaning.

"Alice, we have hours yet, calm down," I reassured, giving her hand a gentle squeeze.

"Exactly," she replied, sounding completely down in the dumps over the time frame. It made me vaguely nervous as to what precisely she was going to do. I knew she had bags and bags of decorations, after all, I had been there when she bought them. I just couldn't comprehend how that would take so long. There were five of us to deck the house out – six, if a certain someone was going to help - I just very much doubted that would be the case. Even if Edward wasn't involved in helping, there would be enough of us to complete it all in time.

Esme and Carlisle were sitting at the kitchen table when we entered, reading the paper together. The sight made me smile. I always found it strange that with the incredibly spacious house, they always seemed to congregate in the kitchen. I guess the saying of it being the heart of the home was true. I'm pretty sure if Emmett could get away with bringing his bed down there to sleep, he would. Sleep, food and Rose were his necessities. Not necessarily in that order. Especially if Rose had anything to say about it, which she usually did. I loved that girl's fiery spirit.

"Mom, we're here," Alice called out as we stepped into the room. Rose and I chuckled, as the sight of us made that pretty apparent. The three boys entered the room, probably drawn by the sudden commotion.

A white envelope was handed to me from Esme with a happy smile, excitement present in my second family's expressions. "Open it," Alice sang, Jasper literally having to her hold her by the shoulders to keep her still. I tore open the paper, careful not to give myself a paper-cut, and gasped as my eyes registered the ticket in my hand. It was a plane ticket to Phoenix, where I would be able to go and visit my mother. Tears sprang to my eyes causing me to blink furiously so that they didn't spill. Esme knew I had been missing my mom. _It's surprising just how spot-on a mother's intuition could be._

"Happy birthday, Sweetheart," Esme whispered as she pulled me into a hug. I had the urge to hold on longer when she started to pull away. _God, what was wrong with me lately? I was becoming an emotional wreck when this kind of affection was given._ When Carlisle unexpectedly hugged me, I felt longing of a much different kind. I swear my cheeks were on fire as I moved my arms to rest around his torso. _The man was definitely packing some __muscle, and I very much doubted that it was located above the waist only._ I very discreetly took a sniff at his shirt. He smelled, funnily enough, of chocolate. _He really is good enough to eat._ I am officially a freak. A hormone-crazed freak.

"Thank you so much," I voiced ardently, taking a quick swipe at my eyes. My gaze landed on the figure at the back of the room who was leaning back against the wall and watching me with his powerful orbs. I immediately looked away and focused my attention back on the people directly in front of me.

"We have to leave now," Esme replied while picking up her handbag from the back of the chair, "but you kinds have fun...and behave yourselves while we're gone," she said pointedly while looking at Emmett and Edward. "I have eyes everywhere," she joked, causing me to chuckle quietly. Edward pushed himself off the wall to come and kiss her on the cheek.

"It hurts me how you doubt us," he grinned, while dodging a light arm slap. He shoved his hands in his pockets and smiled a true boyish grin. It was at times like this - when he looked so carefree and playful - that I wondered why he couldn't act like that all the time. It was obviously there, just hidden by the rest of his lesser qualities. It was very frustrating to watch.

There were smiles and laughter as we followed them to the door, waving them off as they disappeared down the long driveway. I felt guilt eating away at me again about throwing a party behind their backs, and had to ask Alice again if it really was a wise idea.

"Seriously, Bella, it will all be fine," she assured with a wink. "Now, I've set up a list of who is doing what in each of the designated rooms," she explained, opening a drawer from one of the many expensive pieces of furniture and pulling out said list. "This way, we all know what we're doing and it will make things go a lot faster without having to constantly ask what needs to be done."

It made sense I guess. Plus, you never mess with an Alice list. Each thing was timed to perfection, alter one thing, and everything turned to shit. "Now Bella, as you are the guest of honour, you get to do nothing but watch television or read. Whatever you want."

I shook me head refusing. "No way, I'm here to help. I'm not leaving you guys to everything," I stated firmly, expressing to Alice with my eyes that I wasn't going to back down.

"As long as you're sure," she said sounding dubious. At the nod of my head, she asked if I wouldn't mind blowing up the balloons, to which I agreed to without any qualms. "Edward, you still good to sort out the music?" He sighed and answered that he would, ultimately looking bored over the whole ordeal. "Great, let's get started then, time is a running out." Em used his fingers to give his sister devil horns behind her back. Rose laughed loudly as she left to go do whatever the list said for her to start with.

Time passed swiftly as we all went about our duties. Jasper occasionally stopped by the den, where I was doing the balloons, to rub them against my hair so the static would cause it to stick up in all different directions. He thought himself to be so cool. Actually, he pretty much was. _Perhaps I should start calling him Ice man? Kilmer was so hot in that movie. What the hell happened?_

"Bellllaaaa," Rose's voice crooned down the stairs to the den. I had just finished the last balloon, all the different coloured rubber encased balls of air floating in packs around the room.

"I'm coming," I shouted as I made my over to the stairs and took them carefully one at a time. I was always left feeling envious whenever I would see Jasper or Emmett's long legs run up and down them two at a time, and even more so when they could do it in one piece. Not that I wanted them to fall or anything, it just put more emphasis on me being useless.

"You know, I've had many a dream where you say exactly that." Edward was smirking at me from the top of the stairs, his eyes alight with humour and a day's old coating of stubble - which I just happened to like very much – covering his jaw. _Attractive asshole._

"Funny, I have many a dream where I do this," I said irritably and elbowed him in the chest on my way past. _Yeah, I got some moves._ _And now I'm also apparently fond of gangster talk. Yo mofo._ I somehow didn't see myself sticking with it. Or saying it out loud – ever.

A few chuckled grunts followed me down the hallway, but I wasn't focusing on them in the slightest. Decorations were attached to any and every available surface: wall, light fitting...just _everything_. There were streamers, banners and even blown up pictures of me all in varying shades of purple and silver. Edward collided with my back as I froze in panic, and I swear if he hadn't put his arms around my waist to steady himself, I would have fallen to the floor in a pale heap.

"Jesus Christ," I breathed taking it all in with wide eyes. And realization hit me that this was only the hallway, making my feet want to give out. I'm not sure if Edward sensed it, as his grip tightened slightly, and for once I was marginally grateful.

Soft laughter touched my ear, "Bella, this is nothing. You should see what the girl does at Christmas." I couldn't deny that it wasn't _pretty_ or fun inspiring, it was simply that it seemed like an awful lot to go through just for me and a birthday that wasn't even remotely important. "And it's not as if the whole house has been attacked, just a few rooms. I've already locked the doors to all the rooms that are off limits. So seriously, breathe, it will be fine." I looked in shock at him from over my shoulder, the fact that he was reassuring me, and talking to me like an actual human being didn't go unnoticed.

I was locked in his gaze, bewilderment clouding all my thoughts. Was this another one of his games? Was he being genuinely sincere? He began to look increasingly uncomfortable the longer we stood there, so much so that he removed his arms and started stepping backwards. He turned abruptly and disappeared down another hallway entirely. _What the hell was that all about?_ I couldn't keep up with – or ever fully comprehend – his change in attitude. Stumped was a pretty good word to describe how I was feeling right at that very moment, and in more ways than one. I shook off the feeling as much as possible and went and joined the others in the kitchen. Jasper stood with a gift in his arms and Emmett was stood with something behind his back, the girls helping him disguise its identity.

"No, I told you not to waste your money on me," I repeated lowly. I was going to get all choked up again. I was so incredibly lucky to have these individuals as friends.

"Like we would actually listen to you. You should that by now," Jasper laughed. He held out the parcel for me and I arched an eyebrow at him as I set it down on the table and started to unwrap it. I couldn't stop the loud giggle that escaped upon looking at the gift. He had bought me a new pair of Snoopy pyjamas. I loved them.

He slung his tanned arm around my shoulders and ruffled my hair. "I figured you'd need these for when you do your dance again." I rolled my eyes and gave him a playful jab.

"Yeah, that won't be happening," I smiled, "But seriously, thank you, I love them." He kissed the top of my head and stepped aside for Em and the others to reveal what they'd been hiding. The biggest teddy bear I had ever seen in my life sat at the floor, a big heart in the middle with the letters SVB inside. It was so Emmett.

"For when I'm not around," he stated motioning to the bear, "this way, whenever you feel down, you'll have your big protective bear with you." He was using my words I'd apparently spoken to him during my drunken antics. I shook my head laughing and gave him a hug also.

"Thank you," I whispered. He pulled something else out of his pocket and opened his palm. Inside sat a badge with the words "Kiss me - I may not be Irish, but I am legal." I cracked up, bending forward so I could grab onto the back of the chair for support. The others joined in my laughter, it was too funny not to.

"I'll wear it tonight," I promised, putting in my pocket so I wouldn't lose it.

"That doesn't mean that any of those losers can go all-out tonight. If anyone gives you any trouble, you come tell me. No one puts their lips on my little SVB unless she wants to," he told me seriously. I rolled my eyes and nodded to appease him. There are no worries there Em. The only person who I would think about kissing is Jacob, and he's the one who usually initiates it anyway. Things were still up in the air with our actual status. I wasn't sure I wanted a boyfriend, and yet had time to figure out if I even felt that way about Jake. He was good looking and kind, fun to be around...but I just felt like something was missing.

"It's time to go get ready, young lady. Go shower then come to my room, okay?" Alice said excitedly, pushing me out of the room. I was about to ask about my gifts when she assured me she would bring them up while I was showering. _There goes that psychic behaviour again. I should totally ask her to guess the lottery numbers for me._

I made quick work of my shower, thankfully all the necessities had been done yesterday. Waxing hurt like a bitch, but it was so much less hassle than having to keep shaving. Plus, me and a razor was just a disaster imminent to happen. No waiting about it. I wrapped myself in the softest towel known to man, woman or beast - seriously, it was like being caressed in warmth and velvet. If I could get away with wearing it all day, I would. I opened the bathroom door, smiling at the giant bear who was sitting next to it, and bypassed it to get to the bed. That's where I froze - in the middle of the room, hair dripping wet and hands grasping the top of the towel. Edward was lying vertically on my bed, pillows bunched up behind his back and staring right at me with a mixture of shock and heat. His gaze felt like fire, sweeping and licking its way across my damp skin, igniting my cheeks red and causing my insides to melt. Not to mention the fact I was mad, really fucking mad. How dare he just let himself in here like this? He must have heard the shower on, and knew I was in here. Then again, this was his house – not mine. Did I really have a right to chastise him for this? A war began inside my head just like every other time he had done something like this.

"What are you doing in here?" I hissed, clutching my towel tighter and looking around the room for my robe. I spotted it on the bed right next to him, cursing my bad luck. I almost asked him to pass it to me, but I wasn't sure if he would be childish and not let me have it. Anything was possible when it came to Edward. I found my resolve, chin jutting out defiantly and started for the bed and my item of covering.

He smirked at me as I covered up, patting the space on the edge of the bed next to him. I arched a brow at him, wondering if he had lost his mind. I wouldn't be getting on any bed while he was still occupying it. "I won't bite, I promise. At least not this time anyway."

I huffed and crossed my arms across my chest. "Want do you want, Edward?" I asked, not willing to play around.

"I realized I hadn't wished you a happy birthday yet. It was terribly rude of me," he said in mocking tone that was filled with humour. I took a deep breath and licked my lips, not believing him for a second.

"Yeah, I bet it's been eating away at you," I replied sarcastically. "Well, thanks for the message, you can leave now," I informed him, pointing at the door. He pouted at me as he stood, only now noticing the bag he had with him. I dreaded to think what was in there.

"I got you a gift," he whispered, holding the bag out for me to take. My hesitation was apparent as he pushed it closer to me. I took it from him, gnawing anxiously on my bottom lip as I looked inside. _You have got to be fucking kidding me?_

"Are you being serious right now? You honestly got me lingerie?" I shook my head, glaring at him.

"The colour looked so beautiful on your skin the last time. I think it's a thoughtful present," he grinned. I scoffed in disbelief, placing the bag back on the bed without another look.

"We have very different views on what we each perceive to be thoughtful," I murmured, grabbing a spare towel from the dresser to run through my hair. He looked thoughtful for a moment before speaking once more.

"I bet you'll wear them though," he stated confidently. "You act as if it's bad. Everyone wears underwear, Bella. It's nothing to be embarrassed about. I thought girls liked that sort of thing." He actually looked like he was telling the truth, as if he genuinely believed it. He really was clueless. No wonder he didn't do serious relationships, he'd drive them insane with inappropriate gifts. _Yeah, but he has such pretty hair._ Oh. My. God. I did not just think that. Was he right? Would I wear them?

I smirked and made my way to the door, pausing just outside the room as a thought came to mind. _This will so not go down well._ "Actually, I think I will probably wear them," I said sweetly, watching him closely. "In fact, I think I may even show Jake later. Thanks for being so...what did you call it? Thoughtful?" His expression turned dark, his anger present, but I ignored it and stormed down the stairs to Alice's room.

Both Alice and Rose were setting up when I entered. Rose had her dress hanging out ready. It was a peachy orange colour that would most likely look awful on a lot of people, but Rose could pull anything off. A part of the side was cut out to reveal some skin, but it wasn't too garish. She was pairing it with silver accessories to match the diamanté studding on the strap of the dress. It was sexy and completely Rose. Alice's dress was a turquoise under-colour with a black mesh covering. It was fun and sweet just like her personality. I had yet to see my dress, both of them not wanting to show me it until the actual time to get in it, more than likely so I couldn't change my mind.

"Where do you want me?" I asked as I stepped through the door, nearly falling flat on my face as I caught my foot on the end of my robe. _Good god, and I wasn't even in heels yet._ I'm pretty sure my face just paled to match some of Alice's stark white walls. _There may be trouble ahead..._ this was so not the time to start singing Nat King Cole.

"Plant your cute ass in this chair and leave the rest to us," Rose told me sternly, but not unkind. It looked like she was going to tackle my hair while Alice did my make-up. It's not that I couldn't do my own hair or cosmetics, they just did it better. Plus they enjoyed it, while I simply found it boring. It made perfect sense, which was very rare in my world.

"You have such beautiful skin," Alice complimented while lining my eyes. She told me she was going for a smoky effect, slightly smudging the eye-liner as she went. "You don't need foundation or concealer, just a speckling of powder and it's perfect." She smiled at me and continued, asking me to hollow my cheeks as she applied a little blush in a soft pink.

Rose had curled my hair in a loose wave, the ends gently curling down my back. "There, all done," she pronounced as Alice swept one more coat of mascara along my lashes.

"Flawless," Alice commented as she stood back to look at her work. "But then, I had a perfect palette to begin with," she winked, causing me to blush. _I really need to learn how to take a compliment._

They both finished getting themselves ready, which didn't take long as they had already started while I had been in the shower. Alice skipped over to her closet with a squeal, pulling out a garment bag which I was presuming housed my dress. "I presume that's for me?"

She nodded her head eagerly, pulling the zipper down to reveal a strapless black floaty dress that thankfully wasn't too short. There was a silver design running underneath the breast area, accenting that region even more. It was really very pretty, and maybe even sexy in an innocent way. There would be a lot more skin showing than I was used to, that's for sure, but not something that would make me feel uncomfortable. Alice had chosen flawlessly.

"Do you like it?" she asked anxiously, her striking blue orbs wide with nervous anticipation. I pretended to look unsure for a minute before breaking out into a cheeky smile.

"I love it," I assured her, putting my hands over my ears when she started squealing. Rose ran over and put her hand over her mouth, causing me to double over laughing. Alice looked embarrassed, her expression apologetic.

"Sorry," she giggled after Rose uncovered her mouth. "I got a little bit too excited there for a second, huh?"

Rose snorted. "And there's a perfect example of an understatement everyone." Alice pouted and playfully shoved her, winking at me and handing me my dress. She walked over to her desk, pulling a very familiar looking envelope out the drawer.

"No, no that money was for the dress," I shouted, shaking my head and refusing to take it. Alice placed the money on the bed next to me and grabbed my free hand.

"Calm down. I know you said you would pay for it, but I wanted to. You shouldn't have to buy your own birthday dress. This is my gift to you...along with a really fabulous pair of shoes." I was about to argue when Rose spoke up.

"Quit your damn moaning and accept the dress before I take both that and the money and go in search of a bar and liquor," Rose huffed.

"Well there's one down in the den, so..." I ducked when she threw one of Alice's stuffed toys at me from the small collection she had on a chair by the closet, laughing at her miss. "Smart ass," she murmured with a smirk on her face.

"Yeah, but you still love me," I winked, causing her to huff and walk past me to change, but not before slapping my butt on the way. _My butt sees more action than I do._ Wow that thought was depressing.

I went to slip on my dress, but then remembered I didn't have any panties on yet. _Fucking Edward. _A flash of skin and sweat assaulted me, along with wild moans and breathy pants, a memory of a much unwanted past dream. I shook my head to rid me of those thoughts, really not wanting to dwell on them. My cheeks were flushed as I re-entered Alice's room, the reflection looking back at me not looking like my own as Alice zipped up the back of the dress. I couldn't wear a bra with this dress, which made me feel a little uneasy, but other than that, I honestly loved it. Rose helped me into my shoes while I rested my hands on her shoulders. _Please, just don't let me fall tonight. _

"If I swung the other way, you'd be in serious trouble right now," Rose assured me, my face heating in embarrassment. Rose looked stunning, as did Alice, and I told them so.

"No one will be looking at us tonight. Trust me," Alice grinned as she was folding up my clothing from upstairs. _When the hell did she get those._ She had a sly smirk on her face when she produced the box that held the necklace from Mike.

"And where might I ask did you get this?" I bit my lip and scowled. _How the hell did she know that I would even have something hidden in those pockets?_

"Mike gave it to me," I shrugged, watching how her eyes shot up into her hairline. _I should have put it on the desk with my camera earlier. I had meant to put it away somewhere but like the fool I am, I forgot._

"It's very pretty, and would go perfectly with what you're wearing," she said decisively as she approached me with the chain. Rose was smirking with one brow raised as she appeared next to me with her own little box.

"And this is my gift to you." She placed the box in my hands and encouraged me to open it. Inside sat a pair of diamond stud earrings. I looked back at her in shock, my mouth agape.

"I don't deserve you two," I whispered, clutching them both into a giant hug and squeezed with all the love I felt for them both. Alice had tears in her eyes and I could see Rose welling up too, which was so uncharacteristic of her, that I wanted to hug her again.

"Right, lets go get this thing started," she announced with a flick of her hair and a straighten of her dress.

I could hear music playing and voices rumbling as we descended the stairs. There were already a lot of people there, who all started wishing me happy birthday as they noticed me enter. My face flamed as well wishers came forward. I had no idea who half of them were, but they seemed nice enough so I wasn't too bothered. We eventually moved down into the den where we knew we'd find Jasper and Emmett.

Emmett instantly started whistling at me causing looks to come my way. He put his arm around my shoulder and brought his face nearer my own. "What do you say you and me get out of here before my girlfriend sees us?" I burst out laughing as Rose flipped him off. He winked at me before turning back to her. "Well since you've still got the no sex rule in place, I thought I'd take my chances with this hot piece."

Jasper kissed the top of my head and handed me a drink. _Ooh the fruity stuff again. I'll only have a couple. _I somehow doubted my own words. He told me I looked beautiful, laughing as he saw the badge that Em had bought me pinned to my dress. I rolled my eyes and he gave me a pucker face and used my hand to push him away. I almost wanted to draw him back when Mike came over to wish me a happy birthday, pressing me to his chest and not letting go for what felt like minutes. I eventually managed to pull away as I saw Jake descend the stairs with Leah and two crashers. _Those two were always trouble._ I could see Jake's eyes scanning the crowd until they landed on me, his face breaking out into a beautiful smile that took over half of his face. I excused myself from Mike, who didn't look happy when he noticed my direction, and walked over to the four of them.

"Bells...you look stunning," he whispered as he kissed my cheek and wrapped his arms around me. I returned his embrace and pressed my cheek against his chest as he rocked us slightly. I started giggling when I felt another two pairs of arms surround us.

"This is just so damn emotional," Quil cried, pretending to wipe tears from his face. Embry looked at me with his hand on his chin before deciding to say something.

"Yeah, I'd definitely tap that." I lightly punched him in the arm as he and Quil started cracking up. I rolled my eyes at them both but couldn't help but laugh along with them. I was glad they had come, invite or not. I immediately felt guilty that I had forgotten all about inviting them, but the main thing was that they were here now.

Leah smiled and we gave each other an awkward hug. "I didn't get you a material gift, I just brought these two with me," she told me over the music. "I hope that was okay?" I nodded my head and informed her that I was glad she had. She must have spotted someone across the room as she headed off - with a warning to the troublesome two to behave themselves. She wished me a happy birthday as she passed and disappeared into the crowd. _I somehow didn't think we'd be having sleepovers any time soon._ Quil and Embry kissed me on the cheek simultaneously before Jake slapped them both to get off. They soon noticed that there were a truck load of girls here and set off in motion. _Smooth operators._

"I got you a gift," Jake informed me as he pulled me off to the side of the room where it was much less crowded. He produced a small velvet bag from his jeans pocket and told me to open my palm. He undid the little ties at the side and emptied the contents into my upturned hand, revealing a delicate charm bracelet. It was silver and beautiful and had two charms hanging from the chain – one of a frog which made me smile at the fact that Quil and Embry had wanted to add a memory to the gift, and the other was a symbol that I didn't recognize. "It represents friendship and brings you luck, and that's what I want for you Bells, for you to have so many good things."

I stared up into his soulful eyes and once again didn't pull back when he pressed his lips to mine. They were soft, familiar and the whole thing was completely sweet. We both pulled away and he attracted the bracelet to my wrist before giving me another smile and engulfed me into his sizeable frame. I noticed Jessica and Lauren moving precariously on the dance-floor to the Black Eyed Peas, "My humps." They were surrounded near the back of the room by a few of their other friends. Their dresses were so short I wondered why they even bothered putting clothing on at all. It suddenly occurred to me that I hadn't seen Edward once yet, not that I wanted to or anything, but I was curious as to where he could be. That's when I spotted where Jessica's gaze was trained and followed it to see Edward himself sitting on the leather sofa with a drink in his hand. He wasn't staring at the girls who were trying to get his attention, but instead, straight at me. His expression was tense, but his eyes were forceful. They connected to my own and refused to leave. I felt like I was struggling for breath as his heated gaze traveled along my body. He took a sip of his drink and turned his head away to Tanya who was seated next to him, thankfully releasing me from his strange hold.

"Come dance with me," Jake asked, doing some ridiculous move that had me in a fit of giggles.

"Okay, but I can't dance," I said shyly, allowing him to drag me onto the dance floor. I would never normally be brave enough to do this, but I think the alcohol had helped, not to mention I felt safe with Jake. We moved surprisingly fluidly as some random slow song was playing that I didn't recognize. Lauren was swaying next to us with Tyler, with a hateful gleam in her eye. I don't know why these girls hated me so much, but I wasn't going to lose sleep over it. They were unkind and petty.

"Thank you for being on your best behaviour tonight, and even agreeing to come here in the first place. I know it must be difficult for you what with it being Edward's house, and the fact that he's here somewhere," I said sincerely. He took a deep breath and shrugged.

"Yeah well, you're here so..." he didn't get to finish his sentence as I felt a pair of arms hug me from behind followed by a recognizable laugh. I turned around to see Angela with a big smile on her face with a chuckling Ben behind her.

"I thought you weren't going to come?" I asked as she pulled me into a hug. I laughed at her actions and moved the hair away from my ear as Ben came in to whisper something to me.

"We were just hanging around at my house and she kept fretting about not coming. I knew she wanted to, but was nervous with all these people here. She held her head up and told me she was going, then proceeded to pour herself a glass of whiskey when my back was turned. I don't think she's ever drank before, so she's a bit excitable." I smiled and pulled Angela away, keeping my hands on her shoulders as she swayed slightly.

"Thank you for being here," I told her sincerely as she pulled her hair off her face and tied it back into a ponytail. "Are you okay?" I asked her quietly.

"I'm fine," she assured me. "Just hot and...ooh, I love this song. I'll come talk to you again, later," and with that Ben was pulled away somewhere in the room. Jake was shaking his head with a big smile on his face.

"He's going to have his hands full tonight," he laughed. I nodded, agreeing with him as I knew he was right.

The floor started to clear and I craned my neck to see what was going on. Emmett came to stand in the middle of the room and winked at me._ Oh god, what was he doing? Shit, I wonder if it's too late for me to relocate to Canada?_ "Love Man" by Otis Redding filled the room and my mouth shot open as Em started dancing along to it in a solo performance – while heading for me of course. He started hip thrusting at Rose, and even Angela as he moved along the circle that had formed around him. I started to slowly slink behind Jake but Em got to me before I could, and linked his fingers with mine while singing to me. I was mortified as he dragged me out into the middle of the room. Everyone was cheering and shouting, and swear at one point I even saw a bra fly in front of me. I'd rather it had been money.

Embarrassment soon gave way to laughter as he twirled me around, and even at one point dipped me. Edward's harem was watching with complete disdain, obviously not liking the attention deferred from them onto someone else – especially someone they happened to hate. Alice was buzzing while watching us, her face so happy at seeing me have fun that I called her and Rose to join us. I wanted to share my enjoyment with my best friends. Jazz soon followed and were were all laughing and hip bumping like idiots. I felt a tingle travel down my spine and swung around to find Edward walking around the perimeter. He wasn't even looking at me, and yet I felt his presence. I couldn't deny that this both intrigued me and terrified me in equal parts. The song ended and the dance floor filled once more and I started to feel something that wasn't like the previous feeling at all. In fact, quite the opposite. An arm brought my back flash against a hard chest, an overpowering fragrance hitting my nose and making me cringe.

"Finally found you on your own. Happy birthday, Bella." James's voice made me freeze. He'd been a little clingy in the past but had never physically touched me like this. I could smell the alcohol on his breath and knew he must had been drinking for a while now. I had forgotten all about his impromptu invite and hadn't even noticed whether he had been here or not.

"Thanks James. Nice of you to come," he chuckled in my ear and tightened his hold on me as he started to move us both. He wasn't hurting me or being particularly sleazy or anything, after all most people were interacting and dancing with each other. It's just that it didn't feel right. I swallowed the lump in my throat and scanned the room for Jake, wondering where he went. My eyes landed on Leah who was standing next to Edward and furrowed by brow at their easy coupling, especially in a room with people who would strongly disagree with it. She was staring closely at me again, and horror coursed through me at her thinking I had initiated it, after all, that was the second time she'd seen me pressed up against someone who wasn't Jake. That in itself was confusing, as Jake and I weren't technically dating, but from the look she gave me, she seemed to think so. I couldn't help but wonder what impression Jake had been giving her for her to form that opinion. She must have noticed my uncomfortable expression as she turned to Edward and started whispering to him. His head snapped towards me, his hand running down his face as they suddenly started talking heatedly. Thankfully, the person I had been looking for appeared beside me and pulled me to him.

"I'm sorry, I didn't realize you made her decisions for her," James voiced, his head tilted to the side with a forced smirk. Mike stupidly thought this was a good time to stumble over to me and ask me for a dance. He was quite obviously wasted and was completely ignorant of the sudden tension surrounding me._ God love the boy_.

"Come on Bella," he whined, "I know you secretly want to." _No Mike. No, I really don't._ "Hey, you're wearing the necklace I gave you," he smiled reaching forward to touch it, but ended up half groping my boob instead. _Whoa, back off there Mr. Grabby Hands._ "Sorry," he murmured, his eyes fixed on my chest.

"Her eyes are up here, asshole," Jake shouted, pushing me behind his back to shield me from Mike's lust filled gaze.

"Me and Bella are friends, dickhead," Mike slurred. "She can speak for herself, anyway."

James stepped forward and slung an arm around a swaying Mike's shoulders. "My point exactly, my friend," James replied with an amused smile on his lips. It became pretty apparent that he was trying to rile Mike up in his unthinking state. I didn't notice Jessica beside me until she was threateningly whispering into my ear.

"Looks like you've found your level, Bella," she said motioning to the people in front of us. "You stick with your little friend from the Rez and the criminal. I'm glad you took my advice and have left the more desirable people alone. He was always too far out of your reach anyway." I wheeled around and glared at her, sick of her insinuating comments. I had no interest in Edward. I knew that's who she was talking about as it hadn't been the first time she had said this type of thing to me. She honestly thought that I was out to get him. I'm pretty sure that even if I told her the real reason she felt so threatened, she wouldn't believe me.

"The only reason you're even here in this house right now is because he thinks it will make me uncomfortable. You must know by now that you won't ever get what you're looking for from him." I almost felt bad for her, but the fact that she was a tramp halted it.

"And the only reason _you're_ here is because they pity you. The lonely new girl who was all by herself. You were new, and a project. They'll soon get bored of you and then you'll be alone once again." I could feel angry tears burn my eyes, but I wouldn't let them fall. I refused to let this girl put doubt in my head. Just then, said friends came down the stairs with a birthday cake, the chorus of happy birthday sung for the second time that day. Jessica scurried away with an accomplished sneer on her face to join her pack of wolves. It had thankfully cut off the hostile behaviour between Jake and James. Mike, however, came back for more and slung his arm over my shoulder while slurring drunkenly that I was awesome. I didn't even attempt to disagree with him for fear he would make a scene.

"Make a wish," Alice sang happily while Jasper held the cake in front of me. I rolled my eyes and went to blow it out when I noticed what was on the cake. It was me. I was on a cake. I looked up into Jasper's amused face and knew that little shit was responsible for it.

"You will pay," I said playfully, but completely serious while pointing at him. He just pulled an "I don't know what you're talking about face" and turned to a grinning Emmett. It wouldn't surprise me if he had been in on at as well. I looked at the faces around me as I gathered my hair in my hands so I wouldn't singe in on the flames coming from the candles. Mike was watching me with a glazed over look, the most ridiculous smile on his face. My eyes bugged out of my head when I noticed his fly was undone. _The nudger better not come out for a visit. Perhaps if we all became quiet enough he would think everyone's gone home. _Quil and Embry each had random girls on both arms, looking incredibly pleased with themselves. Quil waggled his eyebrows at me while motioning to either side of him. Rose, Alice, Em and Jasper were all standing in front of me with arms around each other as they waited for me to blow out the candles. Jake was looking at me with his soft eyes, which I adored. He had beautifully expressive eyes. I bent my head and knew that I had to make a wish. The last person I noticed was Edward who had Tanya glued to his side. He was laughing at something she'd said and I couldn't help but momentarily frown. I pressed my lids closed and thought about what I wanted before expelling my breath to extinguish the mini flames. Delicate billows of smoke swirled about my face as I opened my eyes, blurring and fading into the air.

"Who wants cake?" Emmett shouted, rubbing his hands together while staring hungrily at the frosted goodness. It wouldn't have surprised me if he shoved his face in it and started licking it like a dog. The thought made me giggle.

"I don't know if I can eat Bella's face," Alice pouted, looking guiltily at it.

"I know I can," Jasper assured coming behind me to wrap me in his arms. "She's yummy." I squealed and squirmed as he started playfully nibbling my neck.

"Jerk," I muttered teasingly as I pulled away and linked my fingers with Jake's. "Do you want to go eat my face?" I asked Jake mischievously. He smirked at me, his eyes sparkling with good humour before nodding.

"Most definitely," he stated with a big grin. I nudged his side with my elbow and followed Em with the cake to the bar.

"I'll bring you back a nice big piece," I smiled as I made my way through the crowd. I ate a small piece standing there while talking to Angela who was eating her own piece on Ben's orders. The way he looked after her showed his feeling so openly, that I wondered why Angela couldn't see it herself. She needed to stop doubting herself. I always found it easy to give others advice, yet when I tried to apply it to myself, it flew out the window.

Warmth assaulted me. I didn't need to turn to see who it was. His scent...I suddenly had an urge to devour a cinnamon roll. Or five. I swallowed my last mouthful of sponge cake and butter-cream and swiveled around on the stool to face him. "Did you want something?" I asked, staring at the open collar of his pale blue shirt. We were pretty secluded at this section of the room, only a few people around. Everyone else was too busy grinding over each other.

"Just wanted to make sure you were having fun," he replied, emphasizing the word fun.

"Well, I was until now," I replied sweetly, finally looking at him.

His gaze drifted down my face and lingered by my mouth. "You have a bit of frosting on your lip." His hand came to my face, and before I had time to pull away his tongue had made contact with the edge of my mouth. I held my breath as his warm breath ghosted over my face, his tongue wet and soft and hot. And oh god if I didn't instantly want it in my mouth, fighting with my own. "You taste delicious," he whispered. My palms started to sweat. I had to get away from him. His face was so close, I couldn't concentrate, I couldn't breath. I pushed him away, his eyes burning into mine when I did so. I flew through the throngs of people I didn't know, and people I didn't want to see. Just as I was a little way off the stairs that lead back onto the main floor, something barged into me with force. I immediately felt a dampness on my stomach and looked down to see my dress covered in frosting and lumps of vanilla sponge cake. Not forgetting the hand that was holding it there.

"Whoops, you really should be more careful." Lauren was smiling evilly at me as she removed her hand. "Accidents are bound to happen if you don't look where you're going." I wanted to do so many things at that moment, that I felt dizzy. I knew it had been no accident, and I knew that I should definitely do something about it, but I couldn't handle it right then. I needed to get out of that room so I could breathe. I needed to be by myself. Spiteful sniggers came from the left, naturally belonging to Jessica, Jane and Makenna. I hated Edward even more in that moment for inviting them. Hated him for making me look weak in front of them. The only one of them who wasn't laughing at my misfortune was Tanya. She raised her glass to her mouth and took a long pause before taking a sip of the clear liquid, cold eyes staring at me from over the rim, almost as if she was raising her glass to herself in a toast for good work accomplished. I knew then whose idea it had been, and who was responsible. While Lauren and Jessica were unpleasant and pathetic, they had nothing on the vindictive and vicious person gazing at me. She was the planner, the ring leader, and there was no uncertainty in my mind that told me she could make my life hell if she truly chose to.

I ran out the room and up the stairs without a backwards glance, not stopping until I had reached the safety of my room in the house. Edward Cullen had caused me nothing but hurt and trouble since entering my life. I wanted to turn back time, to not be curious about him, to not have been walking through the rain to his house on that particular day. I wanted to change it all.

I wiped as much of the mess off my dress with a damp wash cloth from the bathroom, fighting back tears. I never cried. Most of the time I couldn't cry, and yet I had been feeling like this all day. _Perhaps Aunt Flow was paying a visit earlier than scheduled?_ _She damn well should rearrange her unwelcome visit until a more convenient time._

I wanted out of this dress, so I grabbed a pair of yoga pants and t-shirt from the chest to change into. I twisted my hand around my back, attempting to find the zipper and pull it down. I managed to get it halfway before it got stuck. I could feel that the material was caught on either side of the zipper, so I tried to be extra careful, not wanting to rip it or cause any more damage. My frustration started building, my hands became more forceful, but still it was no use. That was why I hated celebrating; something always went wrong. I couldn't even simply remove a dress. I felt useless and tired, just so damn tired.

The sound of the door softly closing behind me and the recognizable click of the lock kept me frozen in place.

"Do you want any help with that?" _Oh god no._

_

* * *

_**Soo... cliffhanger. Who could it be? I am such a meanie - sorry. I am going to do something a little different this week as you have all been so patient. Reviews will get teasers for the next chapter. So please let me know your thoughts; I enjoy reading them.**

**Thanks for continuing to read. Have a great weekend! VHL xx**


	14. Chapter 14

**Hey everyone. I want to say a huge thank you to all who reviewed last chapter. It was the most I had received to date - it truly made me smile - so thank you. :)**

**To all my DC girls - I love each and every one of of you. Thank you so much for supporting me. I wish I'd told you all sooner. Bean, there is a little treat for you in this chapter. ;)**

**Hugs to my special group - Jedigirlsc, VronniePantz and twimom76 for just being them.**

**Sobriquett - she keeps me sane, and keeps me company, and I adore her. Go vote for her in the Indies. Her one-shot L'Heure Bleue is in the Love Conquers all category. Voting opens on the 15th.**

**And my beta SusanQ. She is amazing. Thank you.**

**Also, the Eclipse "teaser" has me doing this a lot... among quiet curses of course - O_o**

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns Twilight and all its characters. She also needs to take the pen and paper away from Rosenberg.**

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Bella

No, he couldn't be here right now. I wanted to be alone. I would recognize that voice anywhere. It had been haunting me even in sleep... all silks and velvets and just generally appealing, caressing me for its own selfish purposes. I imagined it to twist and float breathlessly like billowing smoke, wrapping itself around me curve for curve, and sticking to me like glue. I didn't move... maybe couldn't, instead choosing to use my voice.

"I want you to leave," I said clearly, my arms starting to ache from their awkward position behind my back. I heard a deep sigh exhale from his nose, and imagined him to be pinching it with his lithe fingers like he did when he was stressed or angry. I had watched him carefully enough over the weeks to pick up on many of his mannerisms, after all, when someone is fully out to get something from you, it's hard to ignore them. You find yourself just as involved as they are: watching them, thinking about them, constantly wondering. It was like watching your favourite movie, or reading your favourite novel, you eventually got to know these characters and their traits - even the completely hateful ones that you'd rather not. It never escaped my notice that the darker characters, the mischief makers and brooding beauties, were the ones to ingrain themselves into your brain the strongest. They make themselves comfortable until you moved onto to the next story, but were always ready to be called upon by a simple thought process.

"Let me help you," he replied, the faint sound of his feet moving towards me on the plush carpet making me tense further.

"I think you've done enough tonight, don't you?" I seethed, clenching my jaw shut and trying to take measured breaths to keep my fury from flying out like a wildly struck whip.

"And what's that supposed to mean?" he snapped, his steps faltering. I finally managed to move, swinging myself around to face him angrily.

"You know exactly what that means! You invited them here, on my _birthday_," I screamed pushing him away from me.

"I didn't fucking know they would do that. Why do you think I'm up here now? I came to see if you were alright." I just snorted, not believing a word of it. I mean, how could I, when had he ever shown interest in my well being? _Well there was that time when he took me home from school when I had my hoe-down with Jessica – quite literally that hoe went down. And earlier he was actually... sweet._ My brow creased, frustrated that perhaps he was actually being sincere, but that still didn't change the fact that he knew something like this could've happened. He purposely invited them for his own desirous motives. I didn't want him here with me now, and I sure as hell didn't want his concern. No doubt this was just another one of his ploys. I didn't see how he could believe that I would trust anything he had to say after our mostly hostile relationship.

"It makes no difference, your words mean nothing to me. Just leave." I stared him down, waiting for him to process my words and do something about them. The only parts of him that were moving were his jaw, which was clenching erratically, and his chest, which was heaving and pushing his toned chest outwards. I knew he was annoyed, and quite frankly I didn't care. He had brought it all upon himself.

"Why can't you just accept what I'm telling you. I may be a lot of things, but I'm not a liar. I genuinely came to say sorry – which I never do. You should take it." _Could he be any more fucking arrogant?_

"I should _take_ it? Am I supposed to say _thank you_? Start shouting out the windows that Edward Cullen _apologized_ to me?" I took another step forward until I was hovering right in front of him, our bodies almost touching. "You have a sense of self importance that you need to quit if you ever want to be taken seriously. I don't trust you." He flinched at my words and I wanted to laugh. Everything was a performance. He was the lead, and I was the understudy expected to obey.

"God, are you always such a bitch, or do you save these moments for me? Because I have to tell you, not super attractive from where I'm standing," he informed me sharply. "And I'm sure _Jakey_ downstairs doesn't see this side of you," he spat, emerald merging into ivy and creating an incredibly disarming vortex.

"Don't you dare bring him into it, he has nothing to do with it!" I shouted, feeling my anger growing at a rapid pace. "For someone who supposedly hates him, you're constantly talking about him," I fumed, squinting my eyes. "So why is that exactly? Is it jealousy? Did he steal Leah away from you or something?" I asked while watching every little shift his face made. "Because from where I'm standing, he hasn't done anything that could warrant such resentment."

I could see his hands balling into fists, digging into the tops of his thighs, obviously incredibly antagonized. "That's because neither of you know anything!" he shouted, glancing away from me crossly for a split second before staring me head on. "I didn't start this _thing_ with him, he had a problem with me, and acted on it. The problem is, whatever he's accusing me of, is in no way true. If the truth ever got out, it could hurt a lot of fucking people, and I, for one, will not be held responsible for that pain." He ran his hands madly through his already wayward hair, the different tones catching the light and making it all the more tempting to touch. "You have _no idea_ what you're talking about, so for the last time, keep that nose of yours out of my shit!"

"Well then, have the courtesy of doing the same for me," I snapped, attempting to storm past him, my dress completely forgotten. I didn't even realize his hands were on me until I found myself pushed up against the bedroom wall, his body pressed against my own in deliciously enticing ways. I couldn't even speak from being so mad – I was breathless and warm... oh god was I warm. He constantly drove me to this state, wanting and needing, driving me to become reckless. I made the mistake of looking up at his face...his eyes so dark. My breath caught and I couldn't stop the whimper that escaped from my lips as my hips subtly and unconsciously moved against his. His face inched closer, almost cautiously, his gaze flickering from my eyes to my mouth and back again. This somewhat surprised me, the almost hesitancy that he was showing, I was sure he would just take.

"Are you going to tell me to stop?" he whispered against my readying mouth. Was I? Jessica's words from earlier suddenly flooded my thoughts: "_he was always too far out of your reach anyway."_ I could feel my hand move from my side and fist his shirt, which must have been all the encouragement he needed, as his mouth immediately attacked my own, all tongues and teeth and warmth. I was helpless to the feel of it. His lips met mine again and again - they were unyielding and_ oh so soft_. His movements were firm and bordering on desperate, my own matching his perfectly.

I needed more.

My fingers grasped his hair, pulling angrily until he grunted in my mouth. There was nothing sweet and gentle about our actions. We were punishing and taking, drowning in our own want. It never occurred to me once to break the surface and come up for air. His hands moved from my waist to the bottom of my dress, pushing it up as his hands slid their way along the back of my knees and thighs, pausing to the stroke the skin for just a moment before hoisting me off my feet, bringing my center flush against the place it wanted most. My legs wasted no time in wrapping themselves around him, my moan filling his mouth as he pushed himself fully against me.

"God, these legs... you don't even know how any times I've imagined having them wrapped around me like this," he breathed, then grunted as I tightened them around him further. "I hate that you do this to me." I could feel exactly what I was doing to him, and I couldn't deny that I was reveling in being able to do so.

"Feeling's mutual, I promise you," I whispered, as his mouth attached itself to my neck, his lips trailing heated kisses down the column of my throat. I pressed his face harder against me, moaning when his tongue came in contact with my skin. I was rubbing myself shamelessly against him, addicted to the flashes of pleasure and warmth that were assaulting me.

"This is getting in my way," he said irritated, his hands swiftly gathering at the back of my neck and removing the necklace from Mike easily, as I clung to him. He threw it behind him, no concern for where it ended up, and recaptured my legs immediately. He had no idea the gift was from another, but the fact that it was a gift from a male, and that he had removed it, was almost as though it was some type of subconscious territorial thing.

I clenched my teeth and glared at nothing, the heat rising within me at him thinking it was okay to do that. To have no regard for others' possessions. My hands grasped the back of his hair, pulling his face away from my neck and bringing his mouth forcefully back to mine, punishing him almost as I knew that he would regret the kissing afterward. I always thought that I would find it awkward to kiss another, never having much experience with it. Even with Jake, I was sometimes hesitant to try things, but here, now... with Edward, it was like I had been kissing him forever. He took my bottom lip in between his own, nipping at it gently before caressing it with his tongue, asking for entry. I instantly opened my mouth to him, sucking in a sharp breath through my nose as I felt his tongue brush minutely against my own. His mouth tasted of mint and alcohol, and was all together too addicting. He groaned, pulling away from me to focus his half-lidded eyes upon mine. His cheeks were flushed, his eyes glassy and shining like a star filled night sky, and his lips were the most temping shade of ruby from my lips - my kisses. I bit my bottom lip, wanting to press my mouth against his again and again. My dress had ridden up completely by now, his erection pressing itself against my lace-covered center and heightening every sensation considerably.

"Faster," I breathed, tightening my hold on his shoulders and ignoring the voice in the back of my head that was telling me to stop. His erratic breath was beating against my face in a staccato rhythm, his hips grinding into my own in what appeared to be a well-practiced maneuver. For some reason, the fact that he had done that previously - brought someone else as much pleasure as was coursing through me right then angered me. I knew it was foolish to think like that but in that one moment, I didn't want him to be able to think about anyone else, didn't want him to see anyone but me. And I sure as hell didn't want anyone _else's_ hands touching my skin. I was burning, and he was the only one that could both set me further alight, and distinguish that flame of desire all at the same time. As much as I knew I would probably hate myself for it, I needed him to feel me. All of me.

"Oh god," he moaned, bringing his head down to kiss the swells of my breasts, a shiver rippling its way through me from the delicious sensation. I suddenly hated the fact that the fabric was covering the area where I so desperately wanted his attention, his _mouth._ I grabbed the front of my dress, pulling it down and revealing myself to him. His eyes widened, most likely shocked that I had initiated this, before he raised them slowly back to my face. His eyes burned into mine as he bent and took a nipple into his mouth, sucking on it – hard. I opened my mouth, no sound coming out, feeling so much, and wanting to do so many things. I was breathless and writhing, and so needy I thought I may start weeping.

I took his face in my hands, kissing along his jawline, feeling his day old scruff on my lips, my hips still moving along with his. "Bed...right now," he groaned out, pulling me away from the wall and carrying me over. He lay me down, hovering over me, his eyes sweeping along my exposed skin as if he didn't know where to touch first. His hand came to my breast, kneading it roughly, my chest leaving the mattress and pushing itself against his palm.

A part of me wanted to keep it there forever.

"So perfect," he whispered, capturing the nipple of my opposite breast in his mouth, his tongue swirling around the peak, driving me absolutely insane. I was panting audibly, never before experiencing anything close to this feeling. If I wasn't so turned on, I would have been embarrassed about the sounds that were escaping me.

His warmth was too far away, I wanted him covering me. I wasted no time in pulling him down upon me, his body easily giving itself over to my command. Both his hands were skimming up my thighs, gathering my dress so that it lay bunched-up at my waist. I could feel his length against my hip, my body automatically shifted, trying to get it where it was meant to be. "Are you wet for me?" he breathed in my ear, nipping my lobe. "Am I the only one who can do this to you?" Part of me wanted to scream, "YES!" but the stubborn side of me wouldn't give him the satisfaction. I felt a single finger brush along the apex between my legs, applying more pressure as he reached my bundle of nerves. "Jesus," he moaned, taking a shaky breath and finally bringing his hips back to mine.

If I wasn't sinning right now, I would have just thanked god.

I closed my eyes, basking in the tingles and euphoria that he was producing. I felt his lips lightly brushing along mine, my eyes snapping open and meeting that precious green. "Do you like this?" he asked, thrusting his hips harder against me. I whimpered, grasping his shoulders, my nails digging into his skin as I could feel the stirrings in my stomach start to build. "Do you want me to stop?"

"I swear to god, if you stop now..." I glared at him, wrapping my legs around him once again to show him I was completely serious. He chuckled, and I wanted to wipe that smirk off his beautiful face. I pulled on his hair, the smile slipping from his lips as his eyes became darker, his movements faster.

This time it was my turn to smile.

His hands found my ass, kneading my cheeks and grinding into me with a new vigour. I slid my hands down his chest, stopping at the hem of his shirt, tugging, trying to lift it from his frame. "This comes off," I panted, arching my back as he rolled my right nipple between his fingers. He made quick work of his shirt, his chest and torso bared to me. His skin was flawless, his muscles defined, and I had never wanted to run my fingertips along anything so much in my entire life before. I wanted to see if it really felt as smooth as it looked, wanted to see what it would taste like to my tongue. I was basically a wanting mess. His hips continued to push, gasps leaving my mouth as my legs started to tense. I was so close - and from the way his arms had started to shake, I was pretty sure he was too. I wanted the clothing out the way, I wanted to push my underwear down my legs. I wanted him to remove his jeans. If he'd wanted it too, I would have said yes without delay. I would have given him my virginity.

"Let go, Bella," he voiced, my name expelled as a whisper. He was watching me, his eyes so full of lust, that along with the friction his chest was causing against my sensitive breasts, I fell over the edge. My eyes automatically closed, my mouth opening in a silent moan as my orgasm hit me. I almost thought I would stop breathing completely from its intensity. He was still sliding his hardness back and forth against me as I lay there waiting for my heart to stop racing, grunts pervading the air, his breathing shallow. Three more quick thrusts and I felt him stiffen above me, a groan filling the space around us. I had to battle with myself not to look at him. He collapsed on top of me, his face resting in the crook of my neck, his breath tickling my over-heated skin. I still hadn't opened my eyes, so many different thoughts swirling around in my head. I felt limp and somewhat satiated, but the overwhelming awareness of what I had just done weighed heavily on my emotions. I had given in – I had willingly granted this. Also, a strong part of me wanted to do it again.

I don't know how long we had both been lying there, but our breathing had calmed down considerably, which was the total opposite of the panic swelling inside of me. There was a light sheen of sweat between us, his body slightly slick. It made me feel even more ashamed of what I had just done. Jake's face flashed though my head, and though I didn't think we were dating, I knew this would still hurt him. Then there were my friends, what would they think if they found out? _Would_ they find out? Would Edward now go around and tell everyone, all his friends? I suddenly felt extremely nauseous.

After what felt like forever, he slowly lifted his chest away from me, resting his weight on his arms and looking straight at me. The front part of his hair was stuck to his forehead, and I had to resist the urge to push it away from his damp skin. If I were being entirely truthful, he had never looked so relaxed, or so attractive as he did right then. I couldn't handle looking at him like that, I had to look away. I focused my attention on his discarded shirt on the floor, the dark colour of the material matched my dread perfectly.

"I guess you won, huh?" I voiced emotionless, just waiting for his words of victory to spill forth over my weakness like an unstoppable waterfall. When a few minutes had gone by, and he still hadn't moved or a spoken a word, I had no choice but to sneak a glance at him. His eyes were hard and his jaw was clenched – he almost looked to be fighting with himself over something. He noticed my attention finally directed at him, and exhaled a deep lungful of defeated air.

"Yeah, I guess I did." Those were not the words I had expected to hear come from his mouth. I couldn't help but frown at him. His demeanour was in no way anticipated, and I had no clue how to react - my brain so muddled with self-hatred that I wasn't able to do anything other than stare. His eyes swept down to my chest, horror creeping across my face as I belatedly realized that I was still exposed to him. I wasted no time in pulling the top of my dress back up to cover my breasts, my fists desperately clinging the fabric to my skin as if I could erase the reality that he had seen them, had touched them, not to mention had his sinful mouth on them.

"I think you should leave now," I whispered, dragging my gaze away from his intense expression, trying to detach myself from the situation I now found myself in. He hesitated for just the slightest of seconds before pushing himself off the bed. He bent down to pick his shirt off the floor, my eyes surreptitiously watching as he slipped it over his head. He truly was something to look at. I sat up, the bottom of my dress thankfully falling to a modest length, saving me from any more unwanted uneasiness. His legs slowly moved him to the door, a breath I hadn't realized I'd been holding setting itself free as I watched his hand grasp the metal handle. His knuckles turned white from the strength of his grip, and for an alarming moment I thought he wasn't going to leave. Thankfully, as soon as that thought had transpired, he was unlocking the door and slamming it shut, the sound echoing throughout the room and rattling the pictures on the wall with its force. I scrambled to my feet, rushing to lock the door after him, my form slouching back against the wood while I cradled my head in my hands.

I should never have had this party.

Of course I knew I was the one at fault, and that blaming anyone other than myself would have been totally inaccurate. Edward himself had given me an out, even if he had somewhat initiated it. Not to mention he had been striving towards this for weeks. The worst part was that I must have known what I was doing. I wasn't intoxicated heavily or tricked into anything. I had physically wanted him. And after all the dreams and teasing that had been relentlessly occurring since that night at the beach, I was surprised I had lasted as long as I did.

A knock at the door caused me to jump, a squeak of surprise leaving my throat. "Just a minute," I called, cringing at the scratchy sound to my voice. I quickly made my way to the bathroom, manically trying to flatten down my hair and smooth out my dress. My reflection in the mirror showed flushed cheeks, and bright eyes filled with worry. I was panicking, thinking that someone would be able to take one look at me and just _know_. I turned on the tap and rinsed my mouth out with water, unsuccessfully trying to remove his taste from my tongue. I turned off the water and took a few deep breaths before switching off the bathroom light and padding across the carpet to open the bedroom door.

Jake was standing there, hands in pockets and looking fairly awkward. "I couldn't find you downstairs, so Alice said I could come up here and check." I could feel the colour draining from my face, guilt crashing over me in violent waves. "Are you okay? You're looking a little pale." The concern on his face was so sincere. I didn't deserve it.

"Yeah, I have a bit of a headache. The noise down there wasn't really helping," I lied, trying to put on my best smile. "I'm sorry I didn't let you know beforehand," I whispered, swallowing the lump that had formed in my throat. He waved me off, asking with his hands if he could come in. I nodded and stood to the side to let him pass, freezing when I saw the rumpled state of the bed sheets.

"Were you sleeping?" he asked softly, perching on the edge of the mattress and tapping the space next to him. Again I just nodded, not trusting my voice to speak. He held out his hand for me to take, pulling me down next to him and hugging me to his side. I wanted nothing more than to sink into him and take comfort from his embrace, but I couldn't, not after what I had just done. "What's that?" he asked, squinting at a point on the floor.

"What's what?" I queried, trying to follow his line of sight to see what held his focus. He removed his arm from around my shoulders, leaving me feeling both relieved and empty. His fingers held up a silver chain, my forgotten necklace hidden among the carpet fibers. "Oh...it must have fallen off," I fibbed, attempting to take it from him with shaky fingers as flashes of just how it had gotten there infiltrated my mind.

He ignored my hand, sweeping my hair over my left shoulder as he settled behind me. He silently reattached the chain around my neck, his fingers slowly following the trail of metal until he righted the pendant as it was meant to be shown. I could feel his breath spreading over my skin, and froze when his lips started brushing along my shoulder. The hand that was settled at my hip started to make its way further up my side towards my breasts. _No, no, no, no, no. Not after tonight. I can't._ I shot off the bed, running my right hand along my left arm nervously.

"I'm sorry," he said, sounding guilty and just a little confused. I shook my head, _he's not the one who should be apologizing, he has nothing to be sorry for._

"No, please don't," I replied, taking a step back towards him. He sighed and looked at me, questions brewing on the tip of his tongue, ready to be unleashed.

"What are we?" he asked, holding my gaze when I felt the powerful urge to look away. We were finally going to have this conversation, answering the very same questions I myself had been thinking about non-stop since we started this. I guess it was finally going to have a name. I just still didn't know if I was ready to. "I mean, you like me, right?" I licked my lips and took a shaky breath.

"Yeah, I like you," I answered truthfully. _Like_ wasn't a strong word, I could deal with _like_. "You're my friend."

"And is that all we are...just friends?" I broke his stare and looked to the floor, thinking of how to answer this question. I couldn't yet tell if my feelings were strong enough for more, after all, we were only just getting to know each other again. It was all too fast.

"I do feel something for you Jake, I'm just not quite sure what that something is, or how to fully explain it yet, even to myself." I studied his friendly features, wondering if he would get angry or sad, but he did neither of those two things. He smiled at me and stood from the bed, stopping in front of me and grasping my hands in his.

"But you're not opposed to trying?" he whispered eagerly. I thought about it for a second, and then realized that I wasn't. My mind flashed to what I had done not moments before in this very room with Edward. If I could have that type of connection with someone who was in no way my friend, then I could definitely try with someone who was.

"I can try," I stated, watching the smile break across his face. "But I'm not ready for anything serious, no labels." His smile was still in place, and for that I was glad.

"No labels," he repeated. He engulfed me in his arms, and I weakly circled my own around his sizeable frame. His scent was so different. His was comforting and familiar, while Edward was luring and hunger. _He was the forbidden fruit. _"Get some sleep," he murmured, "I'll let Alice know not to disturb you." I smiled gratefully and watched as he left the room, the door clicking softly behind him.

I wasted no time in stripping out of my clothing, my hands grasping the material of my dress and pulling until it gave way. I didn't care if I had torn it. Holes and tears had already occurred tonight. What did further damage matter? I walked into the bathroom, turning the knob of the shower, altering the water as hot as I could manage. I scrubbed my skin roughly, an angry red forming on it and representing my own feelings towards myself perfectly. The soft peach of the towel I wrapped myself in afterward was such a strident contrast. I chose my old flannel pyjamas, wanting, but not deserving, security and reassurance that everything would turn out okay. I winced at the disheveled bedding as I slid under the covers, turning off the bedside lamp and attempting to block out the fading noise coming from the last of the guests downstairs. I was thankful that I was located on the top floor, the most peaceful spot at this precise moment. I twisted to my side, getting into my usual sleeping position and sighed. That's when his scent hit me; the whole bed smelled like him. Was it even possible? I mean he hadn't even been in it that long. At that point I honestly didn't know if it was my own imagination or not, but what I did comprehend was that I had to get out of that bed. There was no way I could sleep in it. I made my way over to the chaise, pulling the throw from across the back of the chair and settling myself as comfortable as the limited space would allow. That night I dreamed of white - blinding almost it was so bright, feather-like softness and bronze desperation.

"God that dress is so ugly." I cracked an eye open to see Alice and Rose sprawled out on the bed, a magazine between them prodded with pointing fingers. "It's about time you woke up, your snoring was getting on my tits," Rose voiced without looking up from the current page she was scanning. I rolled my eyes.

"I do not snore," I mumbled, covering my mouth as a yawn started to escape. My hand froze mid air when I thought about whether my mistakes had been broadcast at all this morning. They were smiling at me so I was pretty sure I was safe for the time being.

"You should have heard Jazz last night," Alice giggled. "He'd had a little too much to drink and was mumbling the word "Bean" over and over again."

"I swear we're not really related," Rose joked, comically shaking her head at us.

"You feeling better?" Alice inquired while getting off the bed to nudge me over to curl up next to me. I half smiled and shrugged.

"I'll be fine," I assured, and even if I wouldn't be, it was my own fault. I would just have to deal with it, and fix my mistakes to the best of my ability.

"That's really pretty," Alice commentated, fingering the bracelet from Jacob. Another pang of guilt hit me in the chest, my hand rubbing the spot as if I could physically remove it.

"Yeah, it's a birthday gift from Jacob, and this little frog charm is from Quil and Embry," I smiled, flipping it between my fingers.

"Speaking of Jacob," Rose cut in, "I thought he and Edward were going to kick the shit out each other. If looks could kill I swear," she said shaking her head.

I tensed. "What happened?" I inquired, eyes wide.

"Well, nothing in the end," she replied, playing with the ends of her hair. "Edward came down the stairs to the den looking as if he was in a foul mood, which isn't particularly unusual. Of course your man starts giving him the death stare, to which Edward reciprocated. But cranky pants soon left the room with his trail of walking STD's behind him," she sighed. "And oh my god, you should have seen James and Victoria on the dance floor in the early hours this morning! She had her hands down his pants in front of everyone, neither one of them thought it was at all odd...or disgusting. I swear, I was _this close_ to kicking their asses out. It nearly made me lose my martini and cake combo, which again would have made me pissed. That frosting was _so good_. Em especially enjoyed it," she winked, causing me to giggle and Alice to groan in repulsion. Edward leaving with those hateful girls shouldn't have bothered me, but I couldn't shake off the irritation the information caused. I knew he had a reputation, but to actually go from one person to the next in the space of a few minutes seemed extremely low - even for him. If it was remotely possible, I felt all the more ashamed of myself. I was merely another name added to his list of conquests. The only positive I could gain was that I hadn't slept with him. The fact that he never once attempted to push it past what we were doing was somewhat surprising. I thought for sure he would have wanted more. Simply one more piece of information to add to the seemingly never ending inventory belonging to Edward Cullen.

"I'll get up now and go tackle the battlefield of mess that is bound to be everywhere. My party, my mess," I smiled, sitting up and rubbing my eyes.

"Please, that's been done for hours now. Cleaning crews are worth every penny." I launched myself at her, hugging her to me as I rocked us back and forth.

"Oh thank god, I don't think I could have handled that this morning," I voiced gratefully, smiling when she giggled. She kissed the top of my head and patted my ass, telling me that however much she happened to be enjoying the love, Charlie had called asking me to come home.

I scrunched up my brow in wonder. "Do you know why?" I asked her, feeling even more confused when she puckered her lips and shook her head. She either didn't know herself, or the little mischief maker was keeping secrets. It was incredibly unusual for Charlie to call here, in fact he had never previously done so. My interest was definitely piqued.

"Come on Ali, let's leave Bella to change. Call us later, okay?" Rose smirked. Yes, they were most definitely keeping something from me. I scowled playfully at them before bringing them both into a hug at the same time, thanking them for last night. I had gained some form of pleasure from both parts of the evening, even if the later part had ended on a disastrous note. I would need to talk to him, I knew that, but not today. I couldn't face him today. Perhaps he would act as if nothing had happened? Sometimes living in denial could be blissful, I merely hoped he felt the same way. I categorically wouldn't be holding my breath on that one.

Once dressed, bags in hand, and bed swiftly remade, I found myself standing at the door without any intention of walking through it. I was stalling. I knew whose room was opposite to this one, and that he would without a doubt hear me open the door if he was holed up in his own room. In simple terms, I was being a chicken-shit. _Stop being an idiot, it's not as if you can live in here forever... ooh look, I could so fit a mini kitchen in that corner. I mean, there's __already a bathroom adjoined to the room. All I would need is someone to bring me things every now and again to make sure I don't starve. It would be perfect._ With the way I was feeling right at that second,if it was at all possible I would've given the whole thing a damn good shot. After another pep-talk, I grabbed the handle and opened it, rushing out the room and not bothering to close the door behind me. I couldn't help but shoot a glance at the offending door as I flew past, praying that it wouldn't fling open and reveal a smug Edward. I breathed a sigh of relief when I reached the bottom of the stairs, thankful that I hadn't had an uncomfortable run-in. I had been looking towards the ground when I rammed into someone. _And it had all been going so well._ I looked up into the attractive face and blushed._ Looks like it just got even better._

"I'm so sorry, Dr. Cullen. I wasn't looking where I was going," I apologized, even though a part of me wasn't that sorry. _Whatever you do, do not lick his face._

"Don't be silly, it's fine. I wasn't either," he laughed. "Plus, I always look forward to these collisions," he winked. _Oh Jesus, just say the word and I'll never stop. I'll change my profession to personal stalker, anything._ I had to stop myself from voicing that I was his to do with as he wished. Shame he was only joking. Thinking about it, I should really hate Esme. Jealousy is such an ugly emotion. I heard a door bang upstairs and hurriedly said my goodbyes, making sure to slyly glance over my shoulder at his pert ass. _I am such a pervert._ I uncharacteristically left through the front door, not knowing who, if anyone, would be hovering in the kitchen. I wasn't taking any chances.

My bags were slipping off my arms as I made my way home, quiet curses slipping from my lips at my inability to even carry a bag. They nearly fell to the ground at the double-take I did at the sight of two cars I had never seen before parked in driveway. Charlie's cruiser was also parked there as usual, but he hadn't mentioned we were expecting guests. Then panic coursed through my veins as I started thinking the worst. What if something had happened to him? I was stumbling across the lawn, half-tripping on a flower pot on the front step before bursting through the door.

"Dad," I shouted, rounding the corner, having to blow wayward stands of hair out of my face so I could see properly and not fall flat on my face. This was so not time for any of my clumsy accidents. It would be just my luck to knock myself out in what could be a potential crisis. I could feel tears instantly form as I gazed at my mother and Phil sitting on the couch, identical smiles on their faces. I dropped my bags on the floor as Renee stood from the seat, her arms open ready to embrace me. I wasted no time at all stepping into her hold. She was dressed in her typical eccentric attire, a red and orange patterned floaty long sleeved top, black leggings and huge hoop earrings. She was barefoot, which didn't surprise me as she used to hate people walking into our house with their shoes on, so she would never do it herself in another's home, even if it had once belonged to her.

"My beautiful girl," she whispered, stroking the back of my hair reverently.

"I've missed you so much," I confessed, momentarily tightening my grip on her. She had worn the same perfume for years, all honeysuckle and rose - natural resources only. I adored it. It reminded me of childhood trips to the swings, and teen years when a particularly good looking resident had moved into the neighbourhood. She had always been a terrible flirt. Mostly innocent, but a flirt nonetheless.

"You didn't think that I would've only sent a measly email to my only daughter do you?" she asked, taking me by the shoulders and brushing my hair behind my ears. I bit my lip, suddenly feeling sheepish.

"I might have," I whispered, smiling at her. She simply shook her head, turning to Charlie and Phil to playfully roll her eyes.

"Well, now you're finally home, you can have your present. I got Charlie to phone next door earlier but you were sleeping. He had to stop me from coming over just to see you," she huffed, causing me to giggle. It was no threat, she would've done it, too.

"Ah, so this is this gift that Charlie was on about?" I sighed. "Honestly, I really didn't want anything," I protested. Neither were short of money, this was true. After all, how would Phil be able to live off the wage of a semi-professional ball player and still be so comfortable financially. The guy was loaded, and I knew Charlie saved most of his money. The TV he bought a few months back was the only extravagant item that he had apparently gotten in years. I never once doubted him on that.

"Your mom picked it out, but I chose the colour," Charlie stated, rising from his recliner with Phil in tow. I walked forward and gave my step dad a small hug. He had always been really cool to have around the house, even if at first I had found it a little strange. He was more like a buddy than an actual parental figure. Needless to say, he was always teasing Renee about something or other, occasionally getting me to join in. They made each other smile so much. It was exceptionally easy to like him. Even Charlie seemed to get on with him on the very few occasions they had met, but then, that was Dad. He would give everyone a chance at least once, whether he actually wanted to or not. That was merely the nature of his personality.

"The colour of what?" I inquired, utterly puzzled when they started pushing me out the door. Then I saw Renee with a huge grin etched onto her face while standing next to one of the cars. The red car to be exact. _He remembered that I had wanted my first car to be red._ I gave Charlie a watery smile while tiptoeing to kiss him on the cheek. "Thank you." His cheeks turned a mild red, slinging his arm over my shoulder and leading me to it.

"I can't believe you all did this for me. It's too much," I said while running my hand along the cold metal.

"Nonsense," my mother replied. "You like it don't you?" she asked, sounding a little worried now. "If you don't, we can take it back and change it for something else," she added.

I gazed back at her as if she had suddenly sprung two heads. "Are you serious? I love it, it's perfect," I stated, and it truly was... well to me anyway. Phil started talking "car," and while I didn't understand most things he was saying, I did manage to make out that it was a Mitsubishi Eclipse. As long as it wouldn't break down on me and leave me stranded in the middle of nowhere, that was all that mattered to me. I had learned how to drive last year, and already had a license. My mother had offered to buy me a car once before, but back in Phoenix I had gone nearly everywhere with her, so there really wasn't much need for my own vehicle – I would just always borrow hers if a situation ever called for me to do so.

"We'll take it for a test drive later while the men watch their sports," my mom winked, looking so excited that I couldn't help but smile back at her. I think that's just another reason I had gotten so close to Alice, they had a lot of similarities in some ways, especially when it came to being able to encase you in their emotions. They both had extremely infectious personalities. The two men were still discussing my car, and I figured they'd be talking about such things for a while yet. My mother wrapped me in her arms as we walked back into the house, making it a little difficult to move, but I didn't care. She was here. I picked up my discarded bags and asked her how long she was staying as we ascended the stairs.

"We've got to be heading off early tomorrow morning, Phil has a game to get to back for," she responded. "But we'll see each other again for Christmas, whether you fly out to us, or we come here, just as long as I get to see you." I dumped my bags on my bed as Renee made herself comfortable on the edge of the mattress. I started emptying the contents to put away, but paused when I suddenly remembered something.

"Carlisle and Esme gave me plane tickets for my birthday, so that side of things is already taken care of," I informed her, feeling totally spoiled from all the gifts I had been given from my friends and family.

"Then it's settled, you can fly out to us. Try and drag your dad with you, if you can. He may need a lot of persuading, but it will do him good to get out of this town," she sighed. "You know, I don't think he's ever even had a proper vacation, gone to an exotic destination, nothing. He's very much stuck in his ways, always was," she smiled, obviously thinking back to their earlier times. That was one thing I was always truly thankful for, the fact that they had split amicably. I don't know what I would've done if the situation had somehow been reversed.

"I'll try, but I think it's pretty inevitable that he'll refuse." We both nodded seriously for a second before breaking out into small chuckles. We both knew deep down it would take more than a few pleading words to get him on that plane.

"So, tell me more about these friends of yours." We settled into easy conversation, me relaying the summer events and funny stories pertaining everyone. She would inject her own snippets of information along the way, and soon enough, we were updated on each other's lives.

"So, any boys you want to tell me about?" she asked with an impish glint in her eye. This was the question I had been dreading as I turned away to put my earrings from Rose safely in my jewelery box so she couldn't decipher the look on my face. I wanted to tell her about last night, about the mistake I had made, but I didn't want to see her disappointment reflected back at me. She had always drilled into me never to do anything I wasn't comfortable with, or that didn't feel right. But the thing is, last night... those feelings that I had experienced were so intense, that however mad I was at myself for they way I had achieved them, I couldn't stop thinking about how good it felt.

"Not really," I finally answered. "I mean, I have a friend who I'm close with, but nothing serious as of yet. We're just going to see how things go." I didn't tell her about Edward and the fact he constantly drove me to a yearning state. I hadn't even included him in any of my stories. To her, he simply didn't exist. My mood had shifted, so I was grateful to Phil when he shouted to Renee from the bottom of the stairs, something to do with a cake. I mentally prayed it was store bought, otherwise disaster could strike anyone of us in the form of food poisoning. It was absolutely true, she was in no way a cook. If it wasn't for Phil, she would be eating sandwiches constantly.

"Come down for cake when you're ready, okay?" she grinned. "I better go stop them both from demolishing the whole thing." She kissed the top of my head and shut the door behind her, shouting as she descended the stairs that the cake better still be in the perfect condition she had left it in. Both of those men had incredible sweet-tooths, however much they tried to hide it. They probably thought it was unmanly or something.

I got to the last bag on my bed, the one from Edward. I considered just shoving it away in the back of my closet and forgetting about it, but I didn't. The set was so very pretty, and I wanted to keep it. Would I feel at ease wearing them? Probably not, but I couldn't throw them away. I hadn't noticed before just how heavy the bag actually was, my hand freezing when I spied something else in there. I slowly reached my hand inside, pulling the heavy package from inside. The was a note attached to the outside, his handsome scrawl decorating the paper.

_To further add to your terrible taste in literature - E._

I pulled the box open and gasped when I spotted the full collection of Austen nestled inside amongst the colourful and delicate layers of tissue paper. How did he know I didn't have them? Yes, I had read them all, but I had forgotten to bring my old copies from Phoenix. Then I remembered he had been in my room, and studied my possessions. Granted, it could have just been luck on his part, but something told me that wasn't the case.

I think I despised him even more in that one moment; he had just made everything explicitly more complicated.

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**Reviews will get teasers. Now I know some may be a little grumpy after this chapter, but please trust me. I only read B&E, so that should give you some indication of my plan here. You will get what you are after, I promise. Let me know what you think. :)**

**Also, Bella's car is real. I didn't add on Eclipse just because of the books. Picture is one profile.**

**Thanks for reading. VHL xx**


	15. Chapter 15

**Hey everyone! First of all, I want to apologise for this chapter taking so long. I entered two competitions, so they took up the majority of my writing time. **

**Speaking of - I won second place in The Awkward Contest! Thank you so much to all who took the time to vote, it really means a lot to me. I've also made it to the final round in The Black Balloon Contest. Voting closes today, so if you liked it, I would really appreciate your vote. Link is on my profile.**

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**Thank you to everyone taking the time review. I always read and reply, they make me smile.**

**This chapter is for Nicnixs who loves my Edward almost as much as I do. **

**Also, to Shoefreak37 - Canonward is not gay. (face)**

**And as ever, my wonderful beta SusanQ. I love her. I know we all say it, but she is the best beta ever. She knows why. ;)**

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns Twilight and all its characters. I just like to play with them.**

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Edward

My hand froze on the brass handle, the cold metal heating with the warmth of my palm. I felt like I should say something, the need to speak was so powerful, but I just didn't know what to say. I could sense her gaze lingering at the back of my head, but I didn't turn to face her. My emotions were completely conflicted.

I didn't know what to do.

Anger was definitely present, along with frustration and confusion. I felt satiated in the physical sense, but I wouldn't say I felt relieved. No, I definitely did not feel relief. In fact, I think I felt more stressed than ever.

I twisted the handle, slamming the door shut behind me as I stormed out of her room. I knew my mother had decorated the room especially for her, but she usually spent so much time in Alice's bedroom that I would rarely see her up on this floor. Needless to say, I had been surprised to find her here.

My body sagged against the wall beside her door, my head tilting back, bronze mixing with cream. No sooner had I done this, the sound of the lock clicking into place reverberated throughout the hallway.

If that wasn't an indication of her feelings, I didn't know what was. She was shutting everyone out. Most of all, me.

She was evidently mad at herself, disappointed that she had let it go to that level. I was a little surprised at how much she initiated, completely shocked when she bared her breasts to me on her own accord. I thought she'd be somewhat shy or hesitant in her movements, constantly questioning why she was allowing things to go as far as they were.

Once again, I'd gotten her completely wrong.

I should have realized from our heated arguments and callous stares that she was a passionate person, and didn't do anything she didn't want to. I expected to feel differently once she had given in, but surprisingly, I didn't. I wanted to scream, pound my fist on the door… anything. Standing here, merely thinking, was driving me insane.

I could hear someone ascending the stairs. I quietly slipped into my own room, not wanting to have to deal with some drunk idiot, who quite frankly, shouldn't even be up here. Then I heard _his_ voice and involuntarily clenched my fists. He was asking her if she was OK. My demeanor changed, a smirk automatically overtook my features. _I wonder if he'll take notice of her flushed cheeks and chaotic hair?_

I grabbed a clean pair of underwear and jeans, crossing the floor to my bathroom to clean-up. Once I'd finished, I softly clicked the door behind me, heading down the stairs to rejoin the party. Newton was drunkenly singing from the bottom step, his arms flailing around in front of him, giving the other few idiots a slurred performance. I pushed past him, ignoring his shouted protests, and searched for the group of girls that needed to leave - right now.

I soon spotted the silver dress belonging to Lauren, the others giggling around her.

"Time to go," I ordered, tilting my head to the door, motioning for them to leave. "I'm bored, so it's home-time for you lot."

There were grumbles and sour faces, but I knew they wouldn't say a word to me about it. They would wait until I was out of ear-shot to complain. I grabbed Lauren by the arm as she passed, bringing my mouth down to whisper in her ear.

"I saw that little stunt you pulled earlier," I hissed angrily. "Now, I didn't bring you into my home so you could re-enact whatever bitchy plan you conjured up in that head of yours. If I see you do something like that again, there will be consequences."

"You can't be serious?" she sneered, licking the front of her teeth.

"Does it look like I'm joking?" I snapped, giving her a heated look that portrayed just how serious I was.

She soon sobered up and nodded her head, her face paling a little… well as much as it could with the amount of crap she had on there.

"Good," I said lowly, turning my back on her scampering form and coming face-to-face with her cousin. I was about to tell her to get out of my way when she spoke.

"Can you give me a ride home? You kind of just dismissed my lift." I groaned and scrubbed a hand over my face. I was tired and wanted to go to sleep. I still hadn't seen Jacob return from upstairs, notions running through my head at what they were doing up there. I was growing more frustrated by the minute. Jessica's words from a previous conversation floated to the forefront of my mind; _"We've never been in your car before, so why should she?"_ This was true - I'd unconsciously set Bella apart, made her different. I needed to rectify that, so I saw no reason to deny Tanya the ride home. After all, it wasn't her fault Lauren had attacked Bella like that. I'd only had a couple of drinks during the party, and that was a while ago now, so I knew I was fine to drive.

"Sure," I sighed. "Let's go." She gave me a flirtatious smile, her eyes glinting. I didn't even have the energy to smile back at her, simply putting my hand at the small of her back to guide her up the stairs to the front door. One of Newton's friends was vomiting in my mother's potted plant, while Mike himself was still shouting lyrics of some unknown song. _I _so_ wouldn't be cleaning any of this up in the morning._

She followed me wordlessly to the Volvo, pausing by the passenger door as I unlocked the car with a push of a button. I waited until she had her seat belt on before starting the engine, pulling out the driveway while fiddling with the radio. I put the music on low, just wanting it to take the edge off the awkward silence. I wasn't comfortable sensing her eyes sweeping over the items I had inside, seeing a piece of _me._

"You're staying with Lauren, right?" I asked just for something to say. I glanced sideways to see her body angled towards me in her seat.

"Yeah," she responded, not taking her eyes from mine. I focused back on the road, clearing the sudden lump caught in my throat.

I pulled up beside the curb in front of her house, tapping my fingers on the steering wheel, catching a pair of curtains twitching from inside.

"Do you want to come in?" My eyes snapped to her face, my fingers stilling in their movement. I think deep down I knew this would happen, and was one of the reasons I felt so uncomfortable. I should accept her invitation and go in there, especially considering a big part of me wanted to, but I just wasn't in the mood for any more drama tonight. Tanya was in no way straight forward, and with her cousin in the house - the same cousin who had given me head only last week – well, even that was too awkward for me.

"I'm really tired," I stated, shaking my head. Her eyes had hardened a little, but she soon recovered, her sucked-in cheeks releasing with a "pop" sound. She eyed me for a second longer, her head cocked to the side.

"Another time then," she said, leaning over to press a kiss to my cheek. My jaw clenched on impact, the feel of her sticky lip-shit not feeling pleasant against my skin.

I watched her enter the house, finding myself still staring at the front door long after she'd closed it. My car was still idling at the curb as a room lit up upstairs, the light acting as some sort of beacon. I hit the wheel in frustration, resting my head against the leather exterior. I should just go knock on the door and say I've changed my mind… but then that would make me look desperate, and I wasn't desperate. I just wanted to clear my head for a while and forget about a certain brown-eyed neighbour that was currently in my house, in the room opposite mine, possibly still with that dick Black. My foot hit the gas, finally pulling away from temptation to head home.

The gravel crunched beneath the tires as I parked in front of the steps to my balcony, the whole house now bathed in darkness. Alice must have chucked everyone out not long after I'd left.

I'm guessing Bella hadn't rejoined the party.

I quickly made my way up the steps, opening my door and locking it behind me. I flipped the switch on my lamp, bringing a soft glow to the room. I had the strong urge to go and see if she was still here, or whether she'd had enough and gone home. Would Jacob be with her? Surely she wouldn't have allowed him to stay here? All this thinking was making my mood more sour. I should be happy - I'd gotten what I wanted. I ran my hands aggressively through my hair, deciding that the best thing for me would be to get some sleep.

I stripped out of my clothing, and slipped into bed in my usual sleep attire: boxers. I couldn't stand waking up with pyjama bottoms tangled awkwardly around my legs, or a sleep shirt bunched up and digging into my side.

I put my arm under the pillow and closed my eyes. It didn't take long for images of red lips, pale skin and brown eyes to infiltrate my mind. She had the most perfect breasts, and the sounds she made… _Jesus_. I angrily turned over in bed, clenching my eyes shut - it was just a dry hump for gods sake!

I was so mad at myself. I had recklessly kissed her, gone against every rule I'd ever instilled in my brain. I didn't even know why I did it, or why I had wanted to for that matter. The need to press my lips to hers had been incredibly overpowering, instantly swallowing me whole. They were soft - her bottom one in particular - and moulded perfectly to my own. It was like her mouth was the only cure for my insatiable thirst; I just kept taking and taking.

At least I could take comfort in the fact it was now over. I wouldn't have to dwell on it any further. I would no longer have to think of Isabella Swan.

That night, I was completely restless.

I woke to blinding light, cursing myself for forgetting to draw my curtains last night while I pulled the duvet over my head. The second thing that finally registered in my brain was just how quiet the house was. I was instantly curious. The house was always filled with noise, whether it be Emmett crooning to food, Alice skipping around, or Jazz and Rose having one of their frequent arguments. It was never silent like this.

I pulled my covers back with a groan, ignoring my problem below the waist, and pulled on a pair of sweats. I groggily made my way down the stairs, glaring at a balloon tied to Alice's door handle when passing. It had one of those mocking smiley faces on it in bright yellow. I wanted nothing more than to pop the fucking thing.

The house was as clean as ever, no doubt Alice having hired someone to attack the mess first thing this morning. I was thankful we'd made sure to keep people from going upstairs, because if I'd been woken by a complete stranger with a feather duster after I'd finally drifted to sleep, there would be no guesses to where it would have ended up.

I grabbed myself a bowl and filled it with some cereal that Em lusted over, adding some milk before settling myself on one of the stools at the breakfast bar. I merely gazed about the room as I brought the spoon to my mouth time and time again, wondering where the hell everyone was. I heard a horn beeping in the distance and yawned. _Well at least someone was around._ I started to feel better about the fact I wasn't about to be hacked up by some psycho like you see on the movies all the time when people are left alone. _How much sugar is in this fucking cereal? No wonder Em constantly comes out with crazy shit._

I dumped my bowl in the sink, telling myself I'd wash it up later. I trudged up the stairs and headed for the bathroom for a long, hot shower. I stripped and stood beneath the spray, letting out a sigh of contentment. I immediately grabbed the body wash and lathered the soap between my hands before sweeping them down my chest and torso. I watched the suds travel down my form, flashes of another body beneath the water overtaking me, bubbles on soft skin that didn't belong to me.

_Great, now I had a semi._

I gritted my teeth and vigorously scrubbed shampoo into my hair, refusing to get off to thoughts of _her_. I switched the temperature, gasping when the freezing liquid hit my body.

_Well, that's one way to deal with it. Bye, bye boner. _

I forced myself to stand there for a few more minutes before shutting off the water, wrapping the lavender towels around my waist. _Fucking lavender, really? And why was I calling them lavender? Purple, they're purple. This is what happens when you grow up in a house with Alice and Esme Cullen._

I slipped on a pair of jeans and a plaid shirt, rolling the sleeves to my elbows. Once I'd finished changing, I stood in front of the mirror, running my hands through my damp hair, trying to get it into some form of order. I gave up after a few seconds, pulling on my hoodie before grabbing my smokes off my desk, heading for the balcony. I cupped my hands around the flame, bringing it to the cigarette between my lips, letting the flame disappear as I inhaled my first drag of the morning. The sun was hitting the lawn illuminating the morning dew, the bark of a neighbour's dog faintly filling the otherwise quiet. I furrowed my brows as I spotted both Alice's and Emmett's cars in the driveway.

_Where the fuck were they? _

Just as I was heading down the steps, an unmistakeable squeal hit my ears. _Alice._ Then other distant voices floated my way, sounding like they were coming from the top of the driveway. I jogged down the steps, cutting across the lawn to check it out, all the while making sure to avoid Esme's prized flowers.

As I got closer to the voices I knew exactly where they were coming from. I hesitated before turning the corner, not knowing if I wanted to deal with the after effects of last night this very second. I didn't have to bother with her anymore, she wasn't important. I sighed, smoke expelling through my nose as I pondered what to do. I was just about to turn back towards home when a horn beeped for a second time this morning, except this time a lot louder. My curiosity once again got the better of me and I stepped onto the adjoining driveway.

My family were standing admiring a red car, their words marred with excitement. Bella was listening to Rose, who was no doubt giving her expertise on the vehicle beside them. With her dad always out of town, and her mother hardly ever home, she'd taken it upon herself to learn as much as possible about the inner and outer workings of a car just in case of an emergency. Both she and Jasper had learned early on to take care of themselves and not depend on others. I didn't always get on well with Rose, but I respected the fact she didn't sit around and mope like a lot of other people in her situation would.

Emmett soon enough noticed my appearance, jogging around the car to sling his arm around my shoulders. "It's awesome, right?" he said with a big grin on his face, tilting his head towards the red vehicle. I brought the cigarette to my lips, nodding, only managing to take one more drag before he pried it from my hand, dropping it to the ground to stomp it out under his boots.

I rolled my eyes at his behavior, shoving my hands into my jean pockets. "So, the chief finally got himself a new ride?" I questioned while smirking, not at all imagining him actually driving this car. With that dodgy 'stache of his, he'd look like a 1980's pimp.

He let out a boisterous laugh, his hand gripping his stomach. "Dude, it's _Bella's_. She just got it from her parents for her birthday." My brows raised in surprise, not expecting that answer. I didn't even know she could drive.

I could feel that prickly feeling you get on the back of your neck when someone is looking at you. I ran my hand through my hair and glanced sideways to find Bella staring at me. She didn't look away, just continued to stare. I was a little miffed, especially considering how she couldn't wait to get me out of the room last night. I was positive that she'd now avoid me, a part of me even hoped she would.

It would make things so much simpler.

I'm sure she expected me to crow to the others over my win, but I wouldn't – it was never about that. It was always for myself. I wanted to drive away that feeling that she had planted inside of me with her pretty face and smart mouth. It was incredibly hard to describe, even to myself. She just seemed to bring reactions from me that no one had in a very long time. I was comfortable in my life, my routine, and wasn't unhappy. I was able to hide things pretty well – I didn't like showing myself to others. It either left you vulnerable, or others disappointed. It was easier this way_._ She was infuriating and intelligent, opinionated and funny, not to mention attractive. I hadn't taken much consideration to that fact at first, but the more time I spent around her, the more I noticed. And like most teenagers, we are ruled by our hormones. Even if I didn't like her, a certain part of me definitely did. I hated that she seemed to be different from most of the girls around here. My actions hadn't changed a thing, all the effort that led up to last night had been for nothing.

My inner monologue was unexpectedly interrupted by the presence of a woman stepping through the open doorway. I saw the resemblance in her features straight away, but her outward demeanor seemed completely different to that of her daughter. She definitely looked like she danced to the beat of her own drum. She was barefoot as she made her way over to the girls. Her eyes found mine and instantly widened. _Shit, had Bella told her what happened? Oh my god - the chief is going to come out with his gun and end up burying me in the woods._

I was nervously eyeing the doorway waiting for his appearance when she paused by Bella, her eyes still on me. "And who's this, Sweetie?" I tore my eyes from the house to focus on the woman in front of me.

"Umm... that's Edward, Mom. Alice and Emmett's brother," Bella responded, shifting from one foot to the other as she gazed off to the side.

"Well, why haven't I heard about him before...or how handsome he is for that matter? Honestly, he looks like a nice boy." She stepped forward and pulled me into a hug, catching me off-guard. I awkwardly brought my arms up to pat her twice on the back, Bella's eyes nearly bugging out of her head as she watched her mother. Jasper was smirking at me the whole time, finding everything amusing. I flipped him off, quickly putting a smile on my face as Bella's mother pulled away.

"It's always nice to meet Bella's friends. I'm honestly surprised she hasn't spoken of you," she said, her gaze flicking between the two of us. The others had moved off to to actually look inside the car now, leaving the three of us in some awkward "meet the parents" scenario.

"I'm just as surprised as you Mrs...," my voice trailed off, realizing I didn't actually know her last name. She seemed to understand this at the same time as I did, her hand coming to rest upon her chest as she shook her head.

"Just call me Renee, Dear. Mrs. Dwyer is far too formal." I gave her my best smile while rubbing my hand over the back of my neck.

"Well, as I was saying, I'm just as surprised as you are... Renee. Especially as Bella and I have gotten pretty close lately." I took a quick glance at Bella, her cheeks flushed in either embarrassment or anger. She was pretending not to listen, refusing to make eye contact with me, so I couldn't be certain of her feelings.

I didn't know what I was doing. I had vowed to stay away from her now that I had gotten what I'd wanted, yet here I was, standing here teasing her. There was no denying that she'd felt good underneath me last night, the memory of her soft skin against mine causing me to clear my throat. I watched her talking quietly with her mother, her hands swiping at her face every time the breeze blew stands of her hair into her vision. She was in a skirt that ended mid thigh, and a simple black tank top. Her mother was fussing with the hem, so I'm guessing it had been her choice of attire. I mean it wasn't raining today, so I'm guessing Renee had told her to make the most of the sun while it was still out. But from the way Bella had her arms crossed across her chest, I could tell she was still feeling the morning chill.

As I looked on I realized with mild horror that I wanted it to happen again, that one fumble with the clothes on wasn't enough. It's not like I wanted a relationship with her or anything. I had been with the same girl more than once, it was just a little more complicated with Bella. After last night, I knew she'd been wanting it just as much as I had. I just didn't know whether that would be in my favour, or whether the tables had been turned so much they'd be impossible to return upright.

I guess there would be only one way to find out.

I removed my hoodie, stepping behind her to slip it over her shoulders. I felt her body stiffen as I pulled it over her arms. "You looked cold," I smirked as I stood in front of her once more. Renee had a wide smile on her face as she watched Bella grudgingly slip her arms through the sleeves, obviously not wanting to make her mother suspicious by refusing it.

"Thanks," she said through a false smile, her eyes showing their annoyance as she leveled a glare at me when her mother momentarily focused on the car. This just made my smirk that more pronounced.

Renee's eyes suddenly became that much brighter as she turned back to face me. "You know, Edward, I was going to go with Bella as she took her new car out, but I just remembered I have to do something," she rambled off quickly. "So I was wondering whether you'd be a dear and go with her?" It became apparent to me what her mother was trying to do here._ Well fuck, she was trying to set us up._

Bella looked absolutely horrified as she stared back at her mother, mouth slightly agape. This was unfamiliar territory. Did I really want to go with her? I continued to watch her panicked expression, weighing up my options. I recognized the urge to want to mess with her a little, but was that really enough?

"Umm... I don't know if I have the time," I blurted, running my hand through my hair. Bella quickly looked at me before refocusing back at her mother.

"Mom, I'll go by myself, I don't need anyone to babysit me." I noticed she already had the keys in her hand, the metal rattling slightly as they jingled in her twitching palm.

"I'm not letting you go by yourself," Renee responded mock-sternly, raising a brow at her daughter, before shifting her eyes towards me.

I had to hold in the urge to laugh at her obvious antics, Bella's cheeks staining further in her frustration.

"I don't want to go with him," she hissed lowly, but still loud enough that I caught it. Renee simply rolled her eyes, evidently thinking she was merely being shy. I definitely wasn't going to correct her. Somehow, I didn't think saying, "A_ctually, Renee the reason Bella doesn't want to be alone with me is because we dry humped in my house last night while she bared her fantastic breasts to me. Then after we both got off, she kicked me out,"_ would go over all that well.

"I'm doing you a favour, especially after what you told me earlier, about maybe dating someone." Bella's brow furrowed, her bottom lip pinched between her teeth. Her brows raised as she swiftly shook her head.

"No, I wasn't talking about Edward," she whispered. I tapped my fist against my leg as I considered what she was talking about. Some younger looking dude was standing on the porch talking to Emmett and Jasper about something. I assumed he must be Renee's husband. Rose now had the hood up on Bella's car looking at the engine and other aspects that made it run, contentment evident in the soft look in her eyes and easy smile. It was very rare you ever got to see her like that. I had only caught it twice before, once when she was curled up in Emmett's lap, and the other when she was helping him work on his Jeep. I looked around for Alice, finding her watching the three of us while pretending to inspect the lone rose bush in the garden, her fingers managing to dodge the thorns each time. Her head was titled to the side, her customary pout on her lips.

"So, who are you dating then?" Renee questioned, not lowering her voice like her daughter had. Bella ran a hand through her hair, letting out a long sigh.

"Jacob," she murmured after a few seconds. "And I never said we were dating, merely that we were going to try or whatever." Her fingers were picking at the ends of the sleeves as she avoided all eye contact around her. This information seemed to excite at least one of us, as I caught Alice bouncing on the balls of her feet before going over to join Jasper on the porch. She held her hand out to Phil, immediately waving her arms about as she initiated some form of conversation. He was smiling at her, his amusement shining through. She'd always had the ability while growing up to talk openly with anyone. Her jovial personality either drew them in or kept them away.

So, what, she was going to be dating Jacob now? When has this come about? Surely she wouldn't have jumped into anything within the span of a few hours?

"Actually Renee, I realized I do have some spare time after all." The words were out of my mouth before I could try and stop them. "What do you say Bella? I'd love to take you for a ride." Her fingers were digging into the material of my hoodie with so much force I was sure she would tear it. I smirked, the death glare she then shot in my direction letting me know I had made the right choice. Everything felt back to normal, which also caused me to frown. She had become a part of my routine. And if that was the case, I would have to make sure I got something out of it.

"Oh that's wonderful Edward. It's all settled then." She pushed Bella towards me, my hand automatically reaching out for hers, removing the keys from her clenched palm. "Have fun you two, and drive safely." I opened the passenger door for Bella, winking at her as she stiffly slid into the seat. I smiled as I walked around the front, ruffling the hair of a very jealous looking Rosalie, the word "ass" leaving her lips as I passed.

We were both silent as I started the engine, slowly pulling out of the driveway to show the chief, who had suddenly appeared from nowhere with an unhappy frown on his face, that I was a safe driver. He looked to be grumbling something as Renee chatted on happily. Alice waved to us both, indicating with her little finger and thumb that Bella should call her when she got back.

The drive was tense and silent as I directed the car around the mostly deserted roads. I wanted to talk with her, but didn't think it would be wise to do that while I was driving. I saw a cut off up ahead, pulling down the tree lined track that obviously wasn't leading to anything other than woodland.

"Where the hell are we?" she snapped, her knee bouncing as she looked out the window. The movement of her bare leg was distracting, and if she'd had on jeans I would have stopped that shit by now. I somehow didn't think she'd be receptive to me touching her skin right now.

"Haven't got a clue," I answered honestly, switching off the engine. She swiftly spun around in her seat to face me, a humorless laugh leaving her mouth.

"You're kidding me?" she asked, shaking her head, leaning back to close her eyes against the headrest behind her. I gazed at her face for a minute, spending a little longer than I should have on her lips, before stepping out of the car, heading for the pathway between the trees.

Soon enough, I heard the other door opening, only seconds later slamming shut. "Where are you going?"

I paused and swiveled to face her. "For a walk," I shrugged. "You coming?" I asked as she took in her surroundings.

"Edward, are you stupid? You can't just walk into a forest with no idea where you're going. You'll get lost, or eaten by wolves or something." I burst out laughing, her cheeks turning pink with definite anger this time.

"Well stay by the car then," I responded, jingling the set of keys in my pocket. She looked behind her, wrapping the hoodie tighter around her frame.

"I'm not staying out here by myself. I could get attacked or something. Plus, you have _my_ keys," she snapped. I held them up for her, twirling them around my finger.

"It's Forks Bella, not New York, so I very much doubt it." I licked my lips, quickly glancing towards the clearing in the trees. "You'll have to come and get them if you want them. I'm going for a walk, so you can either come with me, or stay here, completely up to you," I smirked as I took a few steps backwards. I jingled the keys once more for emphasis before setting back off down the moss and dirt covered pathway.

There was nothing but the sound of rustling leaves and insects for a few minutes, but that got shattered when I heard a muffled scream from not far behind me, soon accompanied with angry curses and stomping feet.

_She was pissed._

Heightened breaths were getting closer, my footsteps discreetly slowing so she'd be able to catch up. "Will you slow down? Your legs are longer than mine."

"Trust me, there's nothing wrong with your legs," I mumbled to myself, pushing branches out of my way. I paused at a particularly larger one and held it out for her to walk first. She narrowed her eyes and pushed at my chest as she stumbled past me.

"Damn my mother for putting me in this stupid skirt," she huffed, waiting for me to take the lead once more. "I swear, if I get bitten, I'll bite you back," she snapped, swiping at something at her legs.

"I'll look forward to it," I smirked, tugging gently at the ends of her hair.

"Jerk!_"_ she shouted after me, making me smile.

"You weren't calling me that last night. It was more of an, "Oh God, Edward, _mmm,_" I laughed. Something hit the back of my head, my hand immediately going to my hair, traces of dirt lingering on my fingers. She'd thrown a damn clump of dirt at me. She smirked back at me, her cheeks flushed with exertion, a triumphant twinkle in her eyes.

"I had a feeling you'd be good with your hands," I winked, watching as her whole demeanor changed. Her face got even redder, hands clenched, jaw clicking, her gaze fierce. "Now come on Bel... wait, what is it Emmett calls you, SVB?"

Her skin paled, here eyes going wide. "He told you, didn't he?" I furrowed my brow, cocking my head to the side as I took a step towards her.

"Told me what?" Her chest lowered as she let out a shaky breath, her head shaking.

"Nothing," she said, toeing a small rock on the forest floor.

"What does that mean anyway?" I asked curiously, dipping my head, trying to catch her gaze. She snapped her head up, biting her lip before lunging for the keys in my hand.

"It doesn't even matter, just give me my keys," she huffed, bringing her body closer to mine as she tried to reach behind my back. I smiled down at her face as she looked up at me, her hands clutching the back of my shirt.

"Say please," I whispered, my hand finding hers and stroking the skin at her wrist. She immediately pulled away, her mouth opening to say something, but just sort of hung open as she stared past me. She pushed me to the side as she strode on ahead. I turned to follow her, noticing the light slightly ahead that seemed to hold her interest. She disappeared from sight as she ducked under a heavily covered branch, green leaves and brown bark hiding her. I ducked under the same branch to find myself standing in a circular clearing. The grass was long, way past my ankles, a collection of unknown flowers randomly springing up between the blades of green. I was in a damn meadow.

Bella was standing near the middle, her face tilted towards the sky, a small smile splayed upon her lips. I made my way towards her, pausing by her side. "Did you know about this place?" she asked without opening her eyes. I snorted, shoving my hands in my pockets as I glanced around me.

"Do I look like the type of guy who fucking goes skipping around in meadows?" I asked with with a brow raised as she finally cracked an eye open. She looked over me, smirking the whole time.

"No, I guess not." She went back to closing her eyes, both of us silent for a time. I couldn't resist tucking a strand of hair behind her ear as it tangled about her face in the breeze. I thought back to earlier and how I could suggest something happening between us again. I was selfish and didn't care. Even though I didn't want to, I knew what I was about to do would help with my proposal. I stepped closer and pressed my lips to her temple, trailing my lips softly down the side of her face, lingering at her mouth. Her body was stiff as I fully stood in front of her frame, her eyes dark and wary, her breaths escaping into the rapidly chilling air.

"Kiss me," I breathed, nudging her nose with mine. Her eyes glazed over slightly, her hands coming to rest on my chest.

"No," she said, her voice breaking. She still hadn't pulled away.

"You'll want me to kiss you again soon, so you might as well do it now," I voiced, my hand angling her face closer to mine. Time seemed to linger, float between us.

Her voice then shattered it like the tiny fragments of broken glass.

"I won't," she stated, her eyes intense and full of unspoken resolve. She stepped back, using her hands to push at my chest.

"I think we need to have a talk, don't you?" I questioned, my gaze unwavering. The sky darkened, unwelcome weather threatening behind the clouds. She looked to the sky above us, rubbing her eyes with the heel of her palms.

She walked towards me, pausing to take the keys from my palm, her fingers brushing gently against my skin as she grasped them in her hand. "I'm going home. It's time to leave." She didn't wait for an answer. She simply stalked ahead, once again disappearing though the trees. I groaned to myself, jogging after her, dodging branches and knotted roots that lay in wait on the ground.

She was quite a way in front of me when I broke through the trees, which honestly shocked me. I managed to catch up with her somewhat, thankful that the pathway was already lined out for us. I didn't particularly want to get lost in the damn woods.

Just as I was about to grab her arm she tripped, my arms automatically shooting out to catch her from a potentially painful fall.

"Are you okay?" I asked slightly out of breath. She yanked her arm from my hold, shaking her head wildly.

"Don't," she seethed. "Don't pretend you care. Don't pretend you'll give a crap if I fall and get a scratch or bruise. That stuff will heal.

"I thought you'd be finished with this shit by now. Are you not done? Because I know I am." I could feel my own anger rising at her words.

"So, you're telling me you didn't like it? I, for a fact know that's bullshit, Bella! I _know_ you did." She continued to shake her head, her hair manically flailing around her face. "We could make it a regular occurrence." That garnered her attention, a bitter chuckle expelled into the space around us.

"You don't even like me," she all but screamed.

"Yeah, what's your point?" I said irritably, turning to look away from her.

"Oh my god. I can't even begin to understand what goes on in that brain of yours. Last night was a mistake. So we were obviously physically attracted to each other for a second, it means nothing. It won't be happening again." She started to pace in front of me, her eyes trained on the ground.

"Is this all to get back at Jacob or something? Another one of your fucked up little games? I won't allow you to mess with me anymore. Part of it is my own fault, I allowed you to do it. I played along to a degree. But no more, no more Edward." She was looking at me, her expression screaming for me to understand something. I didn't know what she wanted from me. What did she want me to do? I opened my mouth and said the first thing that came into my head.

"You know you look hot when you get angry, right?" She just looked at me for what felt like a fucking lifetime, before relaxing her shoulders, her anger gradually dissipating. Just then the first drops of rain started to fall, hitting the canopy above us, creating a musical background. It started off slow and soft, but soon turned angry and thunderous in sound. We were mostly covered by the layers of branches above us, but it would soon enough force its way through.

"We're going to have to make a run for it," she shouted, her voice trying to be heard above the boisterous downpour. I nodded back at her, stepping forward to zip up the hoodie I'd given her earlier, pulling the hood over her hair. She bit her lip, squinting at me, before titling her head towards the car, a silent request. I nodded in return, counted to three, then ran.

I made it to the car before her, pulling my shirt up to cover my head, which only resulted in the rain soaking the skin of my back. Bella was laughing at me as she tried to open the doors, gaining amusement in the fact I had no coat. I raised my brows at her, mock scowling when she took longer than anyone should to open a damn door.

_She was taking her time on purpose._

I ran around the car, her fingers dropping the keys in her excited panic. She went to pick them up, but I got to them before her. She began giggling as I wrapped my arms around her waist, stopping her from getting away, getting us both drenched.

"Edward," she squealed, turning her head into my chest, trying to protect her face from the icy sting.

"Not so funny now, is it?" I teased, pulling the hood from her head and laughing when she burrowed her face further into my shirt. I stepped back, wiping the drops of rain from her cheeks as she smiled up at me. I dangled the keys between us while pulling her hood back up. "Get us home." She took them from me, nodding and immediately pressed the button, the doors automatically unlocking.

Her new car was actually really nice. It handled well earlier, and as I was finding out now, was smooth for the accompanying passenger. Plus it was warm, which was pretty fucking win in this weather. The drive back was silent, but not uncomfortable as it had been previously. I was surprised when she didn't pull into her own driveway, instead choosing to veer down mine. I turned my head to look at her, her face relaxed, nose and cheeks slightly pink from the cold.

"What?" she asked as she pulled up in front of my balcony, letting the engine idle. I pointed my finger between the two us before swiveling it in a circular motion, indicating to the house. "You're going to have to actually open your mouth and speak. I don't understand E.T. Talk."

"Why not let me walk from your house?" I tapped my hands against my thighs as I awaited her answer. She just shrugged, looking through the blurry windshield to the doors to my room.

"Want to come tuck me in goodnight?" I smirked, trying not to laugh.

"Edward, it's only 3pm," she said rolling her eyes, swiftly looking away from my room.

"Fine, I'll take a nap, I'm not picky." She was going to smile, I swear she was going to smile, but the beeping of her phone made her jump, her hand going to the pocket in her skirt. She'd obviously received a text, her eyes scanning over the screen, brows furrowed.

"I've got to go," she said, clearing her throat and focusing back out the window.

"We still have a lot to talk about," I reminded her, my hand pausing on the door handle. Her eyes found mine, before traveling over my face, only to glance at the clock on the dashboard.

"Actually no, for once, we really don't." I suddenly realized who must have been contacting her for her tone to change so quickly.

"Does Jacob know about last night?" I blurted, shocking myself for asking it. Her hands gripped the steering wheel, a sort of choking sound leaving her mouth.

"No, and you won't tell him either," she answered, chewing on her bottom lip. I was beginning to realize she did that a lot when nervous.

"And why is that?" I questioned, watching her closely.

"Because that would mean my dad would find out, and I'm pretty sure he would shoot you in the leg or something and make it look like an accident."

I smiled once again.

"My dad's a doctor, I'll take my chances." She snorted, turning her face away from me completely, my only source of indicating her feelings now hidden.

"Are you going to tell anyone?" she asked, her voice soft, hesitant. I didn't answer straight away, and she didn't pressure me to. The rain continued to tap against the exterior as we both sat waiting, lost in our own thoughts.

"No," I finally answered, hearing a relieved breath come from her. I marginally opened the door, pausing to quickly glance back at her. "I'll see you in school." She shot around in her seat, the movement so sudden it startled me slightly.

"We're not friends," she blurted, her mouth opening and closing a few more times before giving up completely.

I stared at her silently for a moment, before deciding to speak. "I know. You only want me for my body," I murmured, pretending to sound dejected.

"Please, as if," she smirked. "It wasn't even that impressive." I raised my brows, watching her cheeks stain to that familiar hue.

"That's because you have yet to see its most impressive part," I winked, getting out the car and shutting the door on her flushed face.

I ran up the steps, shutting the door behind me as the sound of her car driving away eventually faded, leaving the pitter-patter of water against glass to fill the quiet of my room.

I rested my head back against the doors and closed my eyes. What the fuck was I doing?

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**Reviews will get a teaser for the next chapter, which will be coming soon. My aim is to update every 7-10 days, so the wait won't be long. **

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**Thank you so much for reading. VHL xxx**


	16. Chapter 16

**Hey everyone! Thank you to all of you who took the time to read and review last chapter.**

**Thank you to Ally for not shouting at me when I bugged her about American phrasing. And also to Rags who cracked me up so much this week.**

**A special thank you to all my DC girls for just being them. I love them all. And Jedigirlsc for being awesome.**

**My wonderful beta SusanQ fixes all my mistakes. Thank you, you are amazing.**

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Bella

The room was dark, the only source of light was coming from the flickering of the giant television screen in front of us, objects randomly becoming illuminated in warm yellows and golds. I wasn't paying much interest to what was currently showing, instead choosing to focus my attention on the arm that had moved from in between us, to circle and rest around my shoulders. This inevitably brought his body closer, his strong, tanned arm warm against the skin of my neck. I shifted a little, the couch groaning softly as I tried to get comfortable.

Jacob merely moved closer still.

This had occurred a lot over the past few weeks. With Charlie still working night shifts, we'd spent a lot of evenings on the couch in my lounge, taking it in turns to pick a movie for us to watch. Tonight was Jacob's choice, so it was unsurprising that we were currently watching, 'The Shining'. He had such a major guy-crush on Jack Nicholson.

I'd seen this movie at least half a dozen times, and those two little kids on their bicycles still freaked-me-the-fuck out. Then there was also that whole "Redrum" business. After watching a previous neighbour vomit in the bushes outside his house from drinking too much of that particular liquor - along with those freaky-ass kids and their blood-smeared message... well, let's just say it was enough to put me off the drink for life.

My eyes were focused on his tanned skin, the muscles of his arm smooth and defined. I shifted again - I didn't want to feel uncomfortable. I didn't like the feeling. When we were just hanging around without doing anything serious, I was fine. But, when he tried for _more,_ I would get so lost in my head I would clam up. It was unfair and frustrating.

It never had before - he'd hug me and I'd always felt comfort. But since I'd agreed to _try,_ it somehow always ended feeling that way for me. I think I was putting too much pressure on myself waiting for that spark to hit me. The flutter to murmur in my stomach, my heart to beat wildly in my chest, excited and expectant. I'd never been in any form of relationship before. Was I supposed to start feeling things by now? Was there something wrong with me? I liked Jacob, he was good and sweet and treated me well. He was fun to be around and always had me smiling, not to mention he was easy on the eyes. I'd found myself on more than one occasion silently checking him out. But this was also the same Jacob who would tell me jokes and had played in the mud with me until Charlie made us clean up. Perhaps if I had only just met him I wouldn't feel like this. I didn't want our history to interfere with _now_, and in my head it was.

I was scared I was going to lose a friend.

The years apart were looked upon as weeks. We'd clicked back together like one of those friendship bracelets with the two halves of a heart, the middles joining despite their uneven fringe.

Then there was Edward... there was always Edward. During the past few weeks he had done nothing to take back the words he'd spoken to me in the meadow. He was still acting as he always had, except this time I found myself feeling more curious as to why, rather than immediately feeling irritation and anger.

I'd thought about that day a lot.

It was almost as if he'd been asking for some sort of truce, just now with physical benefits added to the mix. He'd had my first sexual experience, unbeknownst to him I'm sure. I'd be lying if I said it hadn't felt good, that I hadn't enjoyed it. He got under my skin and brought a fire from me I didn't know existed. I'm sure it would feel just as good with Jacob, or any other boy for that matter. Not that I was going to go out on the streets and drag an unsuspecting cute guy home so I could hump him on my father's couch. No, I just didn't like thinking Edward was the only person able to draw that reaction from me. Jacob had tried twice now to progress further than kissing, and both times I'd pulled his hands away just as they'd begun to creep to the _more_ areas of my body. He'd accepted it with a small groan and a genuine apology. It wasn't his fault, I just wasn't ready to try anything like that with him.

The more I thought about that day, the more I realized some aspects had even been _fun._ A part of me believed we could have even been friends without the bad start and negativity. But could we be friends now after everything that had happened? He kept his distance from a lot of people. Yes he was social, but you could see he was private and didn't let people get too close. He didn't seem to have any true friends outside of his siblings and their respective others... well, apart from Ben that is. The problem was, we didn't seem capable of spending five minutes with each other without arguing. I should have been more angry with both him and myself after the events of my birthday, but I wasn't. I had acted stupidly - but that was my own fault. I can't blame other people for my poor decisions. He was good looking, there was no denying that. With one smile or brooding look he would have girls weak in the knees and putty in his hands. It was his attitude that was off-putting. He was confident, self-assured, and far too spoiled in my opinion. The most confusing thing was I didn't truly to believe him to be a bad person.

It was his eyes that gave him away.

His words would often be different from the expression encased in green. I could never tell what he was really thinking. He was an enigma and far too interesting. That in itself was particularly dangerous to get caught up in.

He'd also been spending more time with Tanya. She was the total opposite of me in all ways, the only thing we had in common was our pale complexion. I hadn't forgotten the look she'd given me after Lauren ruined my dress. She had been behind it, there was no doubt in my mind about that. She'd obviously noticed Edward paying attention to me and evidently didn't like it. Did she think I was trying to make a play for him?

I couldn't stop the snort that followed that line of thought.

"What's so funny?" Jacob's voice startled me. I was so lost in my own head I'd completely forgotten he was still here.

"Umm..." I quickly glanced around us, spouting off the first thing that came to me. "Those carpets, they're really awful," I blurted, pointing to the television screen. I winced internally, berating myself for being a complete idiot. I fiddled with the throw cushion on my lap, twisting the red-fringing into knots, pausing to sneak a glance at him. He was staring down at me, his mouth twitching and eyebrows drawn.

_He was trying not to laugh._

I rolled my eyes, going back to knotting the rest of the strands. I estimated there to be about ten minutes of the movie left when Jacob's hands started wandering. My fingers stopped their movements, my eyes trapped on the sight of his palm upon my knee. _Don't panic, it's only Jacob. You wanted this, remember? You agreed to try._

I could feel his breath on my cheek, his lips pressing gently to my skin. I closed my eyes, the feeling... pleasant. I slowly turned my face towards his, my eyes still closed. His lips were warm and soft like always, and again, it was nice. We sat kissing for what must have been a few minutes, my muscles starting to relax. His hand was rubbing circles over my knee, gradually getting higher as the seconds passed. His eagerness took over, his tongue seeking entry to my mouth. I opened up to him, comfortable with this, his groan expelling between us.

I felt myself moving backwards, Jacob's hands gentle but insistent. We'd done this a few times before, so I didn't resist. His weight was more substantial than Ed... _no, stop that._ He broke away from my mouth, his lips trailing down the column of my throat to my place kisses along my collarbone. His hand was resting at the bottom of my shirt, his fingers lingering on the sliver of exposed skin, most likely waiting for my refusal. I simply stared at the ceiling, trying to catch my breath. His palm slid up my torso, my shirt bunching up with his actions. He hesitated at the curve of my breast, breathing heavily into the crook of my neck. Again, I said nothing, waiting for him to make his move. When he finally did, I pulled his lips back to mine, wanting the distraction. He palmed by breast, my nipple hardening under his teasing. I moaned, my legs shifting so he could lay between them. I grasped his hair between my hands, flashes of bronze disarray immediately flitting through my head. I couldn't do this right now, especially when I had someone else in my head. It wasn't fair. I could feel Jacob hard against my thigh, guilt setting in instantly.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," I said breathlessly as I pulled away. I couldn't meet his gaze as he lifted his head back, staring down at me.

"Hey," he whispered, his palm soft along jaw. "Don't apologize, you have no reason to be sorry." I finally looked up at him, a blush hitting my cheeks. I could still fell his _excitement _pressing against my leg and shifted unintentionally. He groaned with a small smile on his face, my teeth biting into my bottom lip to stop my own embarrassed grin from forming.

"OK, that one you can be sorry for," he teased as he pulled his weight off me, sitting on the edge of the couch with his hands locked in front of him, arms resting on his knees. I laughed, pushing myself up next to him, resting my head on his shoulder.

"I'm just not there yet," I told him. He kissed the top of my head, a sigh leaving my nose. The movie had ended, the screen now a vivid blue. I got up to switch the lights on, shielding my eyes from the sudden brightness. I walked over to the DVD player and ejected the disc, slipping it back into its case before handing it back to Jacob.

"You kicking me out already?" he grinned, all ease and playfulness. I rolled my eyes, pointing to the clock on the wall.

"We both do have school tomorrow. Plus, I'm pretty sure I remember Charlie telling you no later than eleven, and it's five minutes to midnight," I stated confidently. It was now his turn to roll his eyes, stretching his arms above his head, showing off his abs. I crossed my arms across my chest, raising a brow at his obvious attempt at showing his toned stomach, no doubt a plot to distract me.

He gave me a wink as he stood, pulling his jacket from the back of the couch, slipping his arms through the leather sleeves. He patted his pockets, pulling out his keys once he'd located them. He made sure he had everything before tilting his head towards the door, silently asking me to see him out. I nodded and followed behind him, putting the door on the latch as I stepped onto the porch.

"I'll call you soon, okay? Maybe we can go out and eat sometime this week?" he offered, his eyes focused on his shoe which was currently scuffing against the tire of his car.

"Sure, it's a date," I said without thinking. His head shot up, a goofy smile on his face, his eyes wide and bright.

I suddenly didn't regret the slip.

I blushed and took a step backwards, my torso swinging to the left towards the door, ready to go back inside. I waved as he slipped into his car, his headlights lighting up the garage door in front of him as he started the engine. I watched him reverse from the driveway, his horn beeping twice as he pulled away from the house.

I locked up behind me, switching lights off as I made my way to bed. I paused in the middle of my room, looking for my pyjamas. I'd forgotten do any laundry this weekend, the pile in the bathroom growing to an ungodly amount. I pulled a plain white t-shirt from my chest of drawers, padding across the hall to use the bathroom. I shed my clothing, slipping the white shirt over my head. I grabbed my toothbrush, squeezing a generous amount of toothpaste onto the bristles. I turned on the tap, humming around the mouthful of mint. I looked in the mirror, my brush instantly halting all movement. This t-shirt was rather big on me, and definitely not one of my own. The brush fell from of my mouth, spraying me with bits of toothpaste as it dropped to the sink, the clink of plastic hitting porcelain echoing throughout the bathroom.

This was _Edward's_ t-shirt that he'd given me after my fight with Jessica. I stood frozen in the mirror, wide eyes staring back at me. I took a much needed deep breath and shook my head. _Stop being stupid, it's a t-shirt, a piece of fabric. And it is comfortable, not to mention you haven't got many other options right now until you do some laundry._ I laughed at my antics, swilling my brush under the tap as I rinsed my mouth out. I flipped the switch as I excited the bathroom, pulling my sheets back to crawl into bed. I fluffed my top pillow, sinking into its softness, bunching the covers under my chin. I left my curtains open, staring out at the expanse of stars that lit up the ebony sky.

The ticking of my clock was the only sound in the house as I drifted off to dreams of childhood memories filled with mud-splattered jeans and easy laughter.

OoOoO

I stared down at the unappetizing food on my tray, pushing the carrots around with my fork. I glanced sideways as the laughter of Tanya Denali and the Seven W_hores_ rang out around us. Edward was seated next to Laurent at the table, Tanya on his other side. He was eating a plate of fries, happily chatting away to all who wanted his attention. I turned away and harshly stabbed my fork down onto my plate, spearing one of the overcooked carrots. I lifted my head as someone at the table cleared their throat, the carrot poised at my lips. Everyone was staring at me with mouths slightly agape, Em's still filled with food.

"What?" I sighed, bringing the fork to my mouth once more. _Well, this wouldn't take much chewing._

Emmett swallowed his mouthful of burger, waving his bottle of juice at me. "What did that poor carrot ever do to you? Innocent vegetables everywhere are now quivering in fear from the tales of, 'Isabella Swan, carrot crusher' and her deadly plastic fork." Jasper starting choking on his Coke, his fist banging on the table in his effort to clear his throat.

I smiled, a giggle soon slipping forth. "I just had a late night last night, that's all," I replied, spearing another carrot.

"Ooh, was my little SVB seeing some action?" Emmett teased, comically wiggling his eyebrows, another giant mouthful of burger of taken. I blushed and quickly stabbed a piece of broccoli this time. _Well variety is the spice of life... even though this isn't actually a spice, it's a vegetable. Plus, I don't even really like spiced foods anyway. Thinking about it, that phrase makes absolutely no sense to me._

"Emmett, eating here," Rose snapped. "No discussing _Fabio_ at the lunch table... or better yet, at all." This was Rose's new name for Jacob. She said that with his long hair and muscled form he was just like the character Fabio from all the Harlequin Romance novels. Only more nauseating.

I focused on my plate, pretending I hadn't heard Emmett speak.

"Oh my god you _were_, weren't you?" Alice squealed, drawing more than a few people to look our way. I sunk further down in my seat, using my hair as a curtain. She let loose another squeal, my eyes zooming in on the skank brigade who were all glaring our way, not happy that the attention had been lifted from them. Edward had his head cocked to the side, giving me a wink when I caught his eye. I gave him a small scowl as I leaned over the table to Alice.

"Nothing really happened," I answered vaguely. "We kissed a little, but that was it." I could tell from the look on Alice's face that she knew I wasn't being entirely truthful.

"And there goes my lunch." Rosalie pushed her salad away from her, her nose now wrinkled in distaste. I rolled my eyes at her behaviour, taking a sip from my lemonade.

"So, what, are you guys like dating now?" Rose questioned, her hands poised together on the table, her gaze unwavering. I shrugged, wincing when the laughter from earlier returned once again_._ The were pawing over Edward as usual, hands always trying to touch some part of him. _I bet they all charged by the hour._

There were a few other boys sitting with them now, one of them being James.

It had been more than a little awkward on the Monday back to school after my birthday. He'd strolled up to me, a secret smile on his lips. I stood there uncomfortably, waiting for him to speak. He had apologized if he'd upset my friend, and said he'd had a little too much to drink. I could only assume he was talking about Jacob, as that was the only slight altercation I'd seen that evening, and that was more to do with a very drunken Mike than anything else. Even though the words were leaving his mouth, I didn't think he truly meant them. His tone wasn't at all insincere, it was just a look in his eyes. He was even harder to read than Edward. I'd waved off his apology, not wanting to dwell on it any further. After all, it hadn't been that much of a big deal.

Over the next few weeks he'd asked me more about Jacob. I didn't really say too much, choosing to give non-committal, one word answers. He'd asked if we were dating, and I'd automatically said yes. I didn't know why I'd been so quick to say we were, it simply came out. He'd paused for the slightest of seconds, his gaze not unfriendly, merely interested. I decided that was what made me occasionally feel uncomfortable around him.

His desire for knowledge made me uneasy.

This is usually a good trait for someone to possess; you had the capability to better yourself. But with James, I had the feeling it would always be at the expense of others.

"_Hello_, Bella." Jazz was waving his hand in front of my face, his lips pursed in amusement. I pushed his hand away smiling. It wasn't unusual for me to lose myself in my thoughts. I gave Alice and Rose a quick hug, knowing I wouldn't see them until tomorrow. We didn't have the same class right then, and I had driven myself to school as I had to make a trip to the grocery store afterward. Also, it was their date night. Once a month, both couples would go out separately to spend a little time by themselves. It didn't matter that they saw each other everyday, or spent near enough every waking minute together. They wanted to go and do something just for them, and keep it between themselves. The day after, their smiles would always appear a little bigger than the day before.

After managing to avoid being sandwiched between Jazz and Em when they both purposely tried to hug me at the same time, I quickly dumped my lunch tray, escaping through the doors to gather my books for class from my locker.

I heard footsteps following behind me as I ascended the stairs, all the while resisting the urge to turn and see who it was. _Keep your eyes on your feet. You do not want to trip and head-butt one of the many steps. True, true._

I entered the combination to my locker, nearly dropping the padlock when Edward appeared beside me. He quickly held his hands up, giving me that crooked smile. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, exhaling slowly through my nose. I pulled the door open, searching for the books that I needed.

"Did you want something?" I asked without looking at him. Something tugged my hair, my eyes shifting to see Edward toying with the ends.

"Not particularly," he answered as I tilted my head away from him, trying to get my hair to leave his hands. "Ugh, do you have to do that?"

"Why wouldn't I? It's so soft and pretty and sparkles like rubies in the sunlight," he voiced while trying to keep a straight face.

"Are you high?" I snapped, shutting the door to my locker and snapping the padlock closed.

"Only from the sight of you pretty eyes." I raised a brow at him, his laughter soon echoing throughout the hallway as he finally dropped my hair. I couldn't help but smile, pushing him further against the lockers as I passed.

"I didn't know you liked to play rough?" he smirked as he stood out in front of me, essentially blocking my path. "We could go for a round somewhere now if you want?"

"Thanks, but I think I'll pass," I responded dryly, biting my lip as I waited for him to get bored and move.

"Well at least let me walk you to your next class then?" I rolled my eyes and hitched my books higher on my chest.

"We're in the same class, idiot." I let out a huff, attempting to blow the few strands of hair caught in my eyelash away from my face.

"Yes, and aren't you incredibly lucky for it." His lips displayed his seemingly ever-present smirk as he raised his hand to tuck my hair behind me ear, my vision now clear to focus solely on his perfect features.

I rolled my eyes, managing to step around him as he followed by my side. We were the first in the classroom as we both took out seats, Edward immediately angling his stool to face me.

"So what was Alice squealing about earlier?" I busied myself with finding a pen, choosing not to answer him.

"What was all the giggling for at _your_ table?" I shot back, finally turning to face him. He ran his hand through his hair, eyes slightly squinted.

"Why won't you answer me?" he questioned as the class started to fill, noise soon pervading the room.

"Well, you haven't answered mine either," I countered back while rolling my pen along my textbook.

There was no further time to speak as Mr. Banner came into the class, silencing the room with his gruff voice. He wheeled a television out on a rickety stand, whispers and cheers immediately starting up. We would evidently be learning about the rainforest, or rather sleep as someone tried telling us about it. I saw Mike folding his jumper on his desk, clearly intending to use it as a make-shift pillow.

The universal, "shhhh" was given to us all as the video started, the blinds drawn afterward. As soon as the lights went off, I tensed. I gripped my pen tightly in my hand as I sat straight, my eyes focused to the front of the room. I could see Edward's fingers lightly tapping the desk out of my periphery, mentally cursing the fact his stool was still facing me. Every nerve ending was alert, my ears not hearing the sounds coming from the screen, but the breath of the person next to me. His fingers stopped their tapping, my teeth instantly drawing my lip into my mouth. The buzz of anticipation washed goosebumps across my skin as I tried not to turn my head and look at him.

It felt like I had been stuck in this room forever, every minute feeling ten times its length. My knee was bouncing and I was biting my lip so hard I was surprised I hadn't yet drawn blood. I was that on edge that the sound of someone simply coughing startled me, my pen sliding off the table to land between the two stools. I closed my eyes. I didn't need that pen, I had plenty of others in my bag. I didn't need to pick it up. Obviously Edward hadn't agreed, as the pen was sliding slowly across the desk to me, his fingertips whispering along my palm as I shakily took it from him.

I licked my drying lips, unsuccessful in my attempt to ignore him as I finally turned my head in his direction. The lights shot on, my breath instantly catching in my throat. His eyes were _so_ dark, and focused entirely on me. My heart was beating in my chest, thrumming like the wing of a trapped butterfly. I couldn't take my eyes from him, warmth hitting me _everywhere_. I opened my mouth to speak, his eyes immediately landing on my parted lips as my words got stuck in my throat. I could feel the blush on my cheeks as I simply sat there staring back at him.

The shrill of the bell broke me from my stupor, my body shooting off the stool to hastily gather my things. I stuffed my books in my bag, not even waiting to zip it up as I exited the room. I walked as fast as I could to my car, only slowing down once when I almost tripped over my own feet.

My car beeped as I clicked the button on my keys, a few stares coming my way. My car had garnered a lot of attention the first few days, Laurent surprisingly the most excited. He'd even stroked it at one point while talking in French.

I'd wondered if it were possible for a car to get a restraining order against someone.

I slid into the seat, immediately dumping my bag into the passenger seat. I pushed my keys into the ignition, but didn't start the car. My pulse was still strumming fast, calm breaths definitely needed. I leaned my head against the rest behind me, the cool leather feeling nice against the back of my neck. What the hell was that back there? His expression was so intense. It was dark and hungry... completely beautiful. Poets would have written sonnets, designers would have begged him to walk for their show, and I'd merely sat there with flushed cheeks and mouth open, staring at him in an appreciation that was scarily bordering on awe.

He'd never looked more dangerous to me.

Once my breaths had regulated, I opened my eyes to a rapidly emptying parking lot, cars queuing behind one another, all ready to leave.

Then my eyes landed on _them._

Tanya had Edward pushed up against his car, her hands on his chest while his rested loosely on her hips. My fingers tightened on the steering wheel as I watched him smirk at her. He was inconsistent and confusing. He'd only minutes before given me a look which had me completely flustered and panicked, yet here he was flirting with someone else. It wasn't jealousy I was feeling, but anger. And it was all directed at myself. Why did I let myself get affected by him? His physical attributes were his weapon, and I was merely the latest victim. Except I wasn't helpless. I was independent and responsible, knew my own thoughts and didn't let others change my opinions. Right then and there, I decided hormones were evil. _I should send myself off to a nunnery, that would soon eradicate these feelings. Temptation would be completely out of reach. I wonder if they would allow me to bring along a few battery operated items? More specifically, the ones that could vibrate? And maybe a framed picture of Johnny Depp with a beard that I could try and pass off as a modern day Jesus._

I glared straight ahead, hands reaching for the keys in the ignition, the car starting with a quiet purr. I waited for the queue to move, Angela kindly indicating with her hand for me to go out in front of her. Horns immediately started beeping, causing us both to roll our eyes. I mouthed a thank you and put my hand up as I pulled out of my space. I took a quick glance in my rear-view mirror before turning out of the lot, the figures of both Edward and Tanya no longer visible.

I had the radio on my favourite station as I drove to the store, singing – well, if you could call it that – along to Cyndi Lauper. My mother had always been a huge fan of hers. 'Girls Just Want to Have Fun' seemed to be on a never ending repeat in our house while growing up. She'd rope me into dancing awkwardly around our front room, her microphone of choice always the wooden spoon, while I opted for the classic hairbrush. Yes, I'd always felt some form of embarrassment, but inside I always had fun. I would laugh and stumble while watching Renee bounce around the room without a hint of unease. When I went to visit her during the holidays, I would make sure to rummage through her vast collection of music until I found it.

The store looked pretty empty, which was not surprising considering it was a Thursday afternoon. Everyone would still be at work. I seized a shopping cart that didn't look as if the wheels would fall off on the way around, and strolled through the automatic doors.

I found most items from the list easily. I'd been coming here often enough now to remember where everything was located. I only had to pick up a men's deodorant for Charlie now, something called 'Speedstick', and then I would be done. I made my way to the toiletry aisle, randomly pausing to gaze for the required item. I had my eyes trained on the shelves and wasn't looking where I was going, so of course I ended up colliding with someone. Packages dropped to the ground by our feet as I swung around, ready to apologize profusely for being careless.

I'd crashed into a boy who looked to be around my age, maybe a little younger. He still had a few small boxes in his hands, glancing around nervously at the mess on the floor. I followed his gaze, my eyes instantly widening; the floor was littered with packages of condoms.

"I'm sorry," I immediately blurted, bending down to pick up the mess. I didn't look at him as I silently put the boxes back on the shelves.

"N... no, iit was mmmy fault," he stuttered, crouching down to help me. I simply nodded, giving him a shy smile. His cheeks were ablaze and his Adam's apple was bobbing rapidly_. _I immediately felt guilty. Here he was trying to be responsible and buy protection, and I try and run him down with my cart. _I need to wear a bell or something, give people fair warning that I'm on my way to cause possible chaos or embarrassment to unsuspecting teenage boys trying to buy rubbers._ I put the box of Magnums back, hiding a smile._ He wouldn't be needing those for a few years yet. Not that I would actually know. He could have a fair sized penis... big even. Perhaps he was freakishly large... and oh my god I'm thinking about a stranger's penis. I wonder if they sell Bibles here?_

It also seemed my filter was defective as I spoke without thinking once more. "Couldn't you have just got these from like, Planned Parenthood or something? There wouldn't be clumsy teenage girls with carts there." His face bloomed in colour once more, the action reminding myself of just how it felt to be a blusher.

"Umm, n-no... my mom works there." _Well shit, if that wasn't some bad luck, I don't know what was. _I nodded in sympathy, smiling as I held the last box that had fallen. He walked off with a quick wave in my direction, soon disappearing from sight.

"Bella, is that you?" I twisted round, smiling at a chirpy looking Mrs. Clearwater. I'd met her officially last week when I'd found Charlie talking to her while collecting the mail. She was soft spoken with a genuine smile. As far as first impressions went, she seemed nice. She returned my smile, her eyes darting down to my hands and quickly back to my face. I furrowed my brows, wondering if she was okay. Then I realized what I still had grasped in my hands. _Oh god!_

"They're not mine," I said hastily and chucked them in the cart. "Charlie asked me to pick him up a deod-"

"They're for Charlie?" Her face was unusually pale as she took a step backwards. "I have to go." And with that, she too, left. I wasted no time in pushing the cart to the checkout, hastily unloading the items without even looking at them, my eyes glued to Mrs. Clearwater at a checkout a few spaces down. _I wonder if she's been drinking? That was a little... well, odd._

I paid and was back in my car in record time, winding down the now busier roads for home. I turned onto my street, my jaw instantly going slack, my foot easing the pressure on the accelerator. I swear there were angels singing.

Dr. Cullen and Edward were running towards me, their t-shirts sculpted to their chest and cheeks flushed a pale pink. They appeared almost in slow motion. There was also sweat. "Holy shit," I whispered to myself as I slammed on my breaks, almost missing the turn for my driveway. I numbly shut off the engine, stepping out the confines of the car to get the much needed fresh air.

They had both stopped a few meters away from me, talking amongst each other, Dr. Cullen reaching over to give Edward a fatherly pat on the back. I unconsciously licked my lips as I was apparently a big pervert now, and blindly felt for the button to open the trunk of the car.

"Afternoon Bella," Dr. Cullen greeted, moving to stand nearer to me, Edward following behind him. _Do not call him Dr. DILF, do not call him Dr. DILF._

"Hi Dr..." _DILF... "_Cullen." I breathed a sigh of relief and reached inside the trunk to gather a few bags.

"Edward, why don't you help Bella unload her car? I would offer, but I promised Esme I'd help with dinner... and well, as you can see I need to go shower." _Would he think it odd if I offered him the use of mine?_

"No, it's fine, I can manage," I replied smiling, almost dropping my bags as Edward pulled the hem of his t-shirt up to wipe his face, his glistening chest on display.

"Don't be silly, Edward would be happy to help. Wouldn't you, Son?" I bit my lip and refused to look at him as I stood awkwardly in the driveway.

"Anything for my favourite neighbour," I heard him voice, my eyes snapping to his face to give him a false smile, my teeth clenched.

"How sweet of you," I managed to get out. Carlisle clapped his son on the back again, telling him he'd see him for dinner. We both waited until he was a fair distance away before speaking.

"Do you want me to go ahead and open the door or something?" he asked, eyeing me curiously. I shoved the bags to his chest, my fingers brushing the damp material. _Ugh._

"Just follow me through to the kitchen please," I mumbled, jogging up the steps and opening the door. He walked behind me wordlessly, dumping the bags on the counter.

"I'll just go and get the others then." I said another 'thanks' as I got to work on unloading the bags.

He emptied the trunk in half the time I could, immediately helping load the contents from the bags to the counter for me to put away.

"You don't need to help with this, you know," I stated, just feeling like I had to get that out there.

"I know," he answered, tugging on my hair for the second time that day as he passed to put the milk in the refrigerator.

We were down to the last bag, both of us sharing it between us. I pulled out what I thought to be the last item - a loaf of bread - but then Edward got an odd expression on his face. I furrowed my brows, wondering what he was looking at inside the bag. I went to peer inside, but he immediately reached down and held the thing out to me in the palm of his hand. _Fuckity, fuck fuck._

"Chief got a new girlfriend?" he asked, his jaw tight. I took a deep breath and snatched the box from his hand.

"Like Charlie would ask me to buy him condoms. That's so gross, Edward," I snapped, slipping them into my pocket. He was running his hand through his hair, looking seriously irritated about something.

I was embarrassed and really needed to pee, so I wordlessly left him in the kitchen as I ran up the stairs, quickly stepping into my room to dump my school bag and hide the condoms among my socks. I couldn't believe I'd forgotten to take those out of the cart when Mrs. Clearwater had startled me. Edward probably thought I'd bought them to use with Jacob, not that I should even care what he thought.

I slipped into the bathroom and made sure to lock the door behind me. I doubted Edward would come up here, but I wasn't taking any chances.

When I re-entered the kitchen, Edward was surprisingly still there, leaning against the door frame with his arms crossed on his chest, his eyes following my every movement.

"You're still here," I stated as I stood in front of him, raising a brow at him. He just stared at me for a minuted before answering.

"I am." We would stand here stating the obvious all night if I didn't break the cycle.

"Did you need something?" I questioned as I fiddled with the sleeves of my school jumper.

"I thought we could both quickly go check on our project as we both seemingly have nothing to do tonight." He was right, I didn't have anywhere to go, but he didn't know that. I could lie and tell him I had plans, but the truth was, we really did need to go check on the growth progress.

"Fine," I sighed. "Let's go." I closed and locked the door behind me as we both walked towards his house, going around the side to enter the back garden.

I loved this garden. The assortment of plants and flowers gave off the most beautiful scent. Rose, Alice and I had spent a lot of time out here this past summer when the weather had been good.

The greenhouse was stuffy, the doors obviously having been closed for most of the day. We took a look at the plants that Esme had generously been watering for us when we couldn't. Both sets seemed to be just as we'd expected.

Just as we were about halfway across the lawn after exiting the mostly glass building, Esme called us from the kitchen window, motioning with her hand for us both to step inside. Edward smirked as he held the door open for me to enter. I gave him a sickly polite 'thank you' in return and waited for him to close the door before stepping into the kitchen.

"Hello sweetheart," Esme greeted with a soft hug, turning to give the same to her son, but also placing a quick kiss on his cheek. I smirked as he made eye contact with me, rolling his eyes as I giggled.

"Bella, Carlisle tells me Charlie's still on a heavy work load." I nodded at her concerned expression. "Well, I was wondering if you'd like to stay for dinner. With the other two off on their dates, I'd appreciate some female company." I knew she didn't mind being left alone with Edward, but rather that she was trying to include me, no doubt not liking me in the house by myself.

I sneaked a swift glance at Edward who had a bottle of water paused at his lips, his eyes shifting from me back to his mother.

"Sure," I replied, still looking at Edward. "I'd love to, thank you." Edward squinted his eyes for a second before announcing that he was going to go shower.

I offered to help Esme several times, but she would simply tell me that there wasn't really anything for me to do. With the amount of chopping boards and pans she had out I knew she was merely being polite. In the end, I managed to get her to let me set the table, an amused shake of her head given as I pulled open the cutlery drawer. Edward soon returned and pulled a pitcher of water from the refrigerator, setting it in the middle of the table as Esme told us both to take a seat. He, of course, came and sat right next to me. His arm coming to rest on the back of my chair. I attempted to move my chair away, but he simply moved his closer in response.

"Jerk," I whispered as Esme slipped from the room.

"Don't pretend you don't like it," he whispered back, his lips brushing my ear.

I flushed as Esme came back into the room, watching us both with a smile. "Carlisle's just finishing up his phone call then we'll be able to eat." Edward muttered something I couldn't make out as I felt my heart rate pick up. _Whoa, nobody mentioned he would be eating. Perhaps I should feign sickness or say I was allergic to every single thing Esme had cooked._

Edward was annoyingly playing with the ends of my hair again and I gave him a sly elbow to the ribs to tell him to cut it out. Dr. Cullen strolled into the room just as Esme set our plates in front of us, her timing perfect, as always. _How the hell does she do that? _

"Good to see you're joining us, Bella," he winked as he took the seat opposite me. _Trust me, with a face like yours, the pleasure is all mine._

We all tucked in to the delicious chicken dish Esme had cooked, her face lighting up as I shyly told her so. Dr. Cullen told us funny stories about his patients, Edward was the only one who didn't seem to find any of them funny. I bit my lip and surreptitiously watched him as he pushed the food around his plate. His knee was bouncing slightly under the table, nudging my leg every time he did so. My hand automatically shifted from my own lap to gently grip his knee, his movement instantly halting. My eyes widened as I focused back on my plate, shocked that I'd actually just done that.

Just as my brain kicked in and went to remove my hand, his fingers found mine, twining them instantly. I wanted to pull away, but I knew it would cause a scene, so I took a shaky breath and tried to ignore the tingling feeling shooting up my arm.

Dr. Cullen asked us both how our biology project was coming along, his expression telling us he was actually interested and not just trying to make conversation. Esme rolled her eyes at me when Edward and Carlisle started talking about some car that I'd never heard of.

The table got a little quiet for a while, my need to fill awkward silences kicking in as various conversation starters popped into my head. I doubt, '_Ugh, Esme, your husband does things to my girlie parts. Could you please pass the salt?' would be widely favoured. _Edward moved our joined hands to my bare leg, goosebumps left in his wake as his fingers tickled my skin. I kept my head down, simply looking up at him though my lashes, his green eyes swiftly becoming my kryptonite. _Yeah, he definitely does things to my girlie parts too._

"I'm so glad that Edward has you as a friend, Bella," Esme voiced, finally filling the silence. Edward snorted lightly, so I kicked him under the table.

I just smiled back at Esme, taking a mouthful of chicken so I wouldn't have to speak. "You know, you remind me a little of myself when I was younger. I can see why Edward seems to like your company. You would have been the exact type Carlisle would've gone for at Edward's age, and he is so much like his father." I blushed and focused on the bread basket with its checkered cloth lining._ I wonder if it would be rude to tell him age was just a number, and that I was in fact eighteen, especially considering his wife was sitting next to him at the table? _I took a sip of water and cleared my throat._ Yeah, definitely not a good idea._

I helped Esme clear the plates, sitting back at the table when she 'shooed' me away. Edward suddenly starting laughing, squeezing my leg to get my attention. I gave him a half glare as I looked at him. His eyes shifted to his mother, my eyes wandering over to where she was stood. Esme had made Strawberry Pavlova. I bit my lip and smiled as I turned sideways, making sure Edward couldn't see my reaction.

"You like strawberries, don't you Bella?" I went to answer, but Edward beat me to it.

"Bella _loves_ strawberries, Mom," he answered with his crooked grin across his lips.

"So do _you_, if I remember correctly," I shot back, his eyes darkening as he looked at my mouth.

"Yeah, I like them," he answered. I took a shaky breath and finally managed to free my hand from his, bringing it to rest flat on the table.

Edward made exaggerated moans as he ate, each one causing scenes of a different nature to flash across my eyes. _It was like my head was staging a mini porno up there. _I squeezed my eyes shut and quickly gave a fake yawn, feigning tiredness. It wasn't exactly a lie; I could totally sleep right now. Thankfully everyone had finished, so it wouldn't be rude to excuse myself and go home. I thanked both Esme and Dr. Cullen profusely for dinner, my offer to help to clean up waved off once more.

"Edward will wash the dishes," Esme stated, giving her son a pointed look. I smiled as he huffed, tugging at the strands of his hair as he, no doubt, was thinking of a way to get of it.

"I should really walk Bella home." That wiped the smile off my face.

"Alright, I'll leave the dishes in the sink for when you get back." Esme gave me a wink as she breezed out the kitchen, Edward muttering to himself as he walked towards me. He held the side door open for me again, impatiently waving me through with his hand.

"I'm sure Esme has a pair of pink rubber gloves for you to wear so you don't damage those soft hands of yours," I laughed as we neared my driveway.

"You think my hands are soft?" he asked with a slight smirk. "If I recall, your breasts are softer." I pushed him away from me, quickly taking the steps to my front door.

"What, no goodnight kiss?" he laughed as I flipped him the bird, shutting the door behind me.

I settled myself on the couch with a muffled scream as I turned my face into the cushions. I watched a little television, soon deciding to call it a night, as nothing really caught my interest. I grabbed a bottle of water to take with me, making my way up the stairs to bed. I quickly showered, once again slipping Edward's t-shirt on afterward. I would seriously need to do laundry tomorrow after school.

My computer wheezed, alerting me of the fact I'd left it on since this morning when emailing my mother. I logged on to my mail, checking to see if I'd gotten anything back. I was just about to close it down after seeing my inbox was filled with nothing but spam, when the familiar ping echoed throughout the room.

The pop-up chat box was from an _EC11388. _All that was typed was "Hi." What the hell? Do I even know this person? EC... EC... EC... fucker!

**Isabella**_:_ _How did you get this? Are you like a stalker now_?

**EC11388**_: What, I can't say 'hi' to a neighbour? Do you _want_ me to stalk you_?

I snorted, quickly typing out my response.

**Isabella**: _Yeah, you caught me. Will I have to start shutting the windows before bed? You're not going to become one of those creepers that watch me sleep are you? If you're going to stalk, I'd rather you do it from afar so I don't have to see your permanently smug face._

**EC11388**: _You love my face. And my hair, and my mouth, and..._

**Isabella**: _I suggest you don't finish that sentence._

**EC11388**: _You let me finish last time we started something._

**Isabella**: _Going now..._

**EC11388**: _Wait, wait. I'll behave. I was just about to log off myself when I saw you appear online. I realized I forgot to say something earlier._

I glanced at the clock and ran my hand through my hair.

**Isabella**: _And what was that?_

**EC11388**: _I hadn't said goodnight._

I frowned at the screen, my fingers poised over the keys.

**Isabella**: _That's it?_

**EC11388**: _Yep._

**Isabella**: _Oh._

A few minutes passed where neither one of us replied. It was now my turn to bounce my knee, my lip caught between my teeth. I sighed and went to go offline when he replied.

**EC11388**: _Sorry, was talking to T. Soo... what are you wearing?_

T? Who was T? Why did I even care? I brought my knees up to my chest and rested my chin on them both as I typed.

**Isabella**: _Goodnight Edward._

His response was immediate.

**EC11388**: _Goodnight Bella._

I logged off and shut down my computer, wasting no time crawling into bed. I once again gazed at the stars through my open curtains, taking comfort in their appearance, no longer feeling quite so alone. The past twenty four hours had been a wild mass of different emotions. The look on Edward's face in biology had startled me. Had I been looking that way at him? What was it about Edward that drew me in? He was the honey and I was the bee. I was completely stuck in a dizzying cycle of green eyes, crooked smiles and fevered caresses.

Evading Edward suddenly seemed impossible.

* * *

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	17. Chapter 17

**Firstly, thank you for being so patient. Next chapter won't be so long.**

**Thank you for all the reviews, alerts and favourites - they make me smile.**

**A massive thank you to my beta SusanQ. She literally got this chapter sent back to me within a couple of hours. She is truly amazing.**

**This chapter is for Kim. She is the peas to my carrots. I hope you like it. ;)**

**There may be a few questions left unanswered after this chapter, but they will eventually come to light.**

**Thank you for all your response's to your favourite movie. Gone With the Wind and Twilight were the most popular. And to answer some of you, mine is Edward Scissorhands. Tim Burton and Johnny Depp working together is perfection in my eyes.**

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns Twilight and all its characters. I just like to play with them.**

* * *

Edward

_Isabella appears to be offline._

I stared at the words on the screen with a frown. _Appears..._ I'd always disliked that word. It caused doubt and suspicion. Was Bella really offline? Or was she simply hiding, making herself invisible to me in the only way that was now effective? I simply didn't know what to think, not that it actually made much difference.

Whether either of us liked it or not, she hadn't been invisible to me for quite some time.

My head sagged in my hands as my elbows rested on the hard surface of my desk, my fingers lightly rubbing at my scalp in a relaxing circular motion. Tonight had been... weird. My mother inviting Bella to stay for dinner had initially caused distaste; it left a bitter tang in my mouth like that of aspirin on the tongue. I didn't want her playing _house_ with us, but as time passed I'd actually surprised myself by enjoying her company.

However, I became slightly irritated at one specific point in the evening, and for once, it wasn't due to her.

I hated to hear about Carlisle's work, to hear stories about his patients and how one of them had managed to make him laugh with useless jokes or sayings. A simple hand to my knee from my seating partner had stopped the agitated movements I hadn't been aware I'd been making. While Bella had most likely halted my actions for her own personal reasons, she had unknowingly calmed me with her touch.

I'd suddenly found myself glad my mother had invited her to stay.

I'd felt the uneasy emotion of guilt earlier while washing the dishes. While I'd usually tease Bella incessantly without much thought, tonight somehow felt different. I hadn't even said "goodnight" or "bye" to her as she'd rushed into her home. She'd unintentionally done me a favour and I felt the need to at least be polite in return... and I hadn't. It bugged me for some reason. Needless to say, I hadn't liked it.

It had been easy enough to find her email address in Alice's room. I'd felt like a hypocrite walking in there, knowing I'd be angry if the roles were reversed and she'd gone snooping through my possessions. I told myself I hadn't technically looked amongst her things, as she'd had the damn thing tacked up on her message board, the torn piece of paper pinned into the cork material with a bright purple drawing pin.

I'd simply planned to leave Bella a short message, a few words that would probably confuse her, maybe even annoy her, but when I saw she was already online I couldn't resist opening a chat box. I'd pictured the expression on her face as her first response came through; she'd undoubtedly have been pissed that I somehow had her address. Her eyes would have stared back at her computer screen half open in an annoyed squint, her lips puckered and full and entirely too distracting to the mind.

There had been a period of awkward silence where neither of us spoke. I think I'd shocked her. I'd told her I was talking to someone called _T._ There was no one under that name in my chat address. I'd chosen that letter on purpose; it didn't take a genius to figure out where her thoughts would have led her.

She would have without doubt thought I'd been talking to Tanya.

I let out a humourless chuckle and used the heel of my palm to rub at my eyes. _What the hell was I doing? Was I trying to make Bella jealous? Did I want her to be jealous? _

I had no idea what I was doing any more. If I didn't sort out my shit soon, I'd end up sleeping on the park bench with that old dude who smelled like rotten fruit, and weirdly enough, bleach.

Not one of those girls had my email address. I wouldn't get a moments reprieve if they'd gotten a hold of that piece of information.

I'd never attempted to make anyone jealous before, simply not needing to. Until Bella had come along, I'd never played games with people. I was always honest and to the point, but never unkind. I didn't lie and give people false hope. They knew what I was offering them, not one of them seemed to care. I was myself and wouldn't change for someone who I didn't have feelings for. Even then, I didn't know how I would react if I ever gained strong feelings for someone.

Tanya was somewhat different to the others I'd fooled around with; you could see she was smart. I wasn't just talking about smart in the academic sense, but more of the worldly sense. Things with Tanya this week had been... interesting. She was hot, there was no denying that, but so were a lot of people out there.

In the end, it really didn't account for much.

I mean, I thought Leighton Meester from that show Alice and Rose religiously watched was super hot, but it's not like I was about to travel all the way to New York just so I could bend her over some overpriced couch in a hotel room somewhere in the city. Tanya made it pretty clear what she wanted from me, and I'd done nothing to discourage her. I wanted to give in to her requests, but I was waiting. I wasn't ready to give up on another quite yet.

Isabella Swan was a pain in my ass, a constant in my thoughts, and an unremitting presence in my home. I'd gotten quite good at reading her facial expressions, not to mention her body's reaction to something I did. It was her thoughts that were still blocked from me. I was always left wanting.

Both Tanya and Bella had one thing in common; they were square pegs refusing to fit into the round hole that most people in this town resided in.

I stood, my chair pushing away from my desk as I did so, the metal legs creating a muffled sound as it disturbed the carpet fibers. I switched the monitor off, not wanting to dwell anymore on the thoughts inhabiting my head. I considered diving straight into bed, burrowing under the covers to find sleep, but the dryness of my mouth resulted in my feet descending the stairs to the kitchen.

I opened the refrigerator, its contents illuminating as I searched for something to drink. A quiet hum escaped the appliance, fusing with the ticking of my mother's favoured cat clock, a simple harmony instantly created.

The clock had been a novelty gift from my father. It was one of the animated kind, its eyes moving as you did. Esme had always wanted a cat, but she was allergic to their fur, so he ended up buying it on a whim. She'd had it for years now, the swinging eyes and tail always scared me as a child. Emmett would laugh at the fact I refused to stay alone in the room with it. My fear had only lasted for a small period of time, but it was still enough for my mother to ban me from watching 'Toy Story' ever again. Apparently after watching that particular movie, my imagination had blossomed.

I decided on a bottle of water, not wanting to have anything too sweet or sickly before bed. I swiveled on my bare feet, pushing the refrigerator door closed with a soft kick of my foot. I looked up and jumped on the spot, my bottle dropping to the floor with a dull thud as Esme appeared in the doorway, a china teacup in her hands, and an amused smile gracing her lips as she took in my startled form.

"Shit, Mom, don't sneak up on people like that," I breathed, bending down to pick my water from the floor, thankful the bottle was plastic and hadn't cracked.

"Language!" she admonished, earning an unseen eye-roll from me.

"Sorry," I mumbled, unscrewing the cap to take a mouthful of the chilled liquid. "What are you doing up? I thought you'd gone to bed awhile ago?"

"Your father fell asleep on the couch," she smiled. "He works too hard." A sigh escaped her lips as she set her cup on the counter. "If I don't wake him up, he'll be complaining of terrible neck ache in the morning."

I simply nodded my head, choosing not to have an opinion on that little statement right now. "You have to stop giving him such a hard time, Edward." I snapped my head up to meet my mother's eyes. They were soft, pleading almost; they made me look away in defeat.

"I don't know what you're talking about," I lied, watching my fingers as they pulled at the corner of the blue label haphazardly stuck to the clear plastic.

She was quiet for a moment, her soft breathing the only indication she was still in the room. "Do you still blame him?" she asked lowly. I gripped the bottle a little tighter between my palms, finally lifting my face to meet hers. Her hair was a little messy from sleep, her arms wrapped across her chest as she gazed back at me.

"I don't blame him," I replied. It was true, I didn't blame him anymore. It was shitty and heartbreaking, not to mention completely fucked up, but there was no blame. It was one of those tragedies that people were expected to move on from, to get over. They simply transpired.

Esme just happened to fall into that unfortunate group of women who were expected to do just that.

There was another bout of silence before she stepped forward to embrace me. She gave so much comfort to others, when really it should have been the other way around. We only saw the after effects, and could go months without having that ache or sadness. My mother, on the other hand, no doubt thought and experienced it every single day.

I planted a kiss on the top of her head, smiling at the familiar scent of lavender that was always present. I had no qualms admitting I was a 'mother's boy' at heart. She was truly the best person I knew. The fragrance reminded me of getting dragged by Alice to our parents' bedroom as children so she could watch Esme apply creams to her hands and face. She would pout when our mother refused to allow her to borrow her face cream, stating her skin didn't need it. However, she always gave Alice a bit of her lavender hand lotion, which never failed to bring a gleeful expression to my sister's face.

We weren't typical twins in the slightest; we were both far too independent to rely too much on the other. However, there were times where either one of us would just need that hug or silent company. Also, that girl saw far too much. For my privacy's sake, it was safe to keep her in the dark about some things. Especially events that concerned her best friend and neighbour.

As Esme stepped back, she cupped my cheek with a smile, before turning to the grab the milk carton from the fridge. She was a great believer in a cup of warm milk when woken.

"I'm glad you seem to be hitting it off with Bella, she's such a nice girl." I had just taken a gulp of water when my mother announced this. My cheeks were full with the rapidly warming liquid, my throat refusing to cooperate, resulting in me having to pause several times in order to swallow the large mouthful.

I cleared my throat and looked at the tiled floor beneath my feet. I somehow didn't think it would be wise to tell my mother just how nice Bella was. I shouldn't voice how _nice_ her tongue had felt in my mouth, or how _nice_ her breasts had felt in my hands. And I especially shouldn't tell her how much my dick liked the way she'd moaned my name.

"Yeah, she's alright," I responded with a shrug, screwing the cap back onto the bottle.

"How long have you been... _friends_?" she asked as she popped a mug full of milk into the microwave. "I didn't realize you two were so close." I scrunched my brows together as I watched the now rotating drink.

"We're really not that close," I stated while running a hand through my hair, avoiding eye contact. I could sense her regarding me, her head turned in my direction.

"You really shouldn't hide yourself from others, Edward," she whispered. "You have such a big heart locked up inside your chest. Let others see it."

I frowned, my hand reaching to scratch the skin just above the waistband of my sleep pants. I suddenly felt awkward. Did I really do that? I simply nodded my head to placate her, letting her know I had heard her words, but just not willing to delve into my feelings right now.

"I should head on up to bed, you know, what with school tomorrow," I said as the microwave pinged. My mother sighed as she carefully set the hot milk on the counter, no doubt wanting to let it cool slightly before she gave it to Carlisle.

"OK, Sweetheart," she said softly, giving me that motherly smile that always made me feel somewhat better.

I returned her smile and pressed a kiss to her cheek as I passed. "Night Mom, love you."

"Sweet dreams, Edward." I quietly made my way up the stairs as to not wake Alice or Emmett who had not long ago returned home.

That sentiment always caused an internal chuckle. I wouldn't describe any teenage boys dreams as sweet. Well unless candy was somehow involved with the female body.

Just as I made it to the second floor, I heard the muffled voice of my father and unmistakable giggle belonging to Esme.

I slipped into my room, locking the doors leading onto the balcony before turning back towards my bed, flipping the light switch as I passed. The room became bathed in darkness, the image of black a comfort to the flurry of thoughts inside my head.

OoOoO

My car slid smoothly into an empty parking space, the engine cutting off as soon as the tires were inside the white lines. Fridays always seemed to be filled with a certain amount of excitement when in school. Students usually seemed more cheerful, the prospect of a fun weekend encouraging the mood.

I knew that Alice had arranged for all of us to spend time together this weekend, but I had no idea what she had planned. I hadn't seen Bella since dinner on Wednesday, which was unusual. It left me feeling somewhat odd.

Yesterday morning had started out like most others. My father had already left for work; my mother was preparing breakfast at the stove, and Alice and Rose were sitting at the kitchen table discussing some girlie shit that didn't hold any interest for me. Em was probably watching cartoons with Jasper in the lounge. I would occasionally join them if I had time, because really, who didn't enjoy that pastime? So what if we were no longer ten? Some of these new shows were fucking funny. Whoever thought of those freaks in their weird bodysuits were most certainly dabbling in hard drugs, most likely a creature from one of their many hallucinations.

No mention had been made about Bella coming for dinner from either one of my siblings or friends, so I assumed no one had spoken to her since the previous day at school. I knew I'd see her in gym and biology, almost looking forward to the hissy-fit I'd no doubt receive for stealing her email address.

She hadn't been in either.

When I'd returned home from school, I'd learned that she'd had a dentist appointment and had left at lunch. I rushed through my dinner that night, stabbing my steak roughly as Emmett recounted _his_ littleSVB's antics from an hour before. When they'd gone to see her, the numbing gel that had been used on her gums had apparently still been in effect. Alice slapped Em's arm as he said she sounded like the elephant man.

My brother obviously liked to exaggerate.

I grabbed my bag from the passenger seat and glanced in the rear-view mirror to make sure no one was about to pull in beside me. I really didn't fancy getting my door ripped off.

I instantly spotted Tanya heading towards my car, her hands grabbing at her hair as the wind picked up. She'd most likely think it a tragedy if a curl were to appear untidy.

She rapped her knuckles on the driver's side window, brisk and sharp. She momentarily paused her actions as she turned on her heel to shout across the lot to someone, giving me a great view of her ass in the process. I pushed the car door open, purposely making sure it tapped her butt as I stood. I gave her a smirk as she swiveled around to face me once more, her tongue tracing the curve of her bottom lip as she gazed back at me.

"Tanya," I simply greeted as I locked my car. I slouched back against the exterior, keeping my hands in my pockets as I slipped my keys safely inside. "Something on your mind?" I queried as she continued to just stand there looking at me.

"You could say that," she replied as she took a step forward, eyes roaming my form. "What do you guys usually do for Halloween around here?" I arched a brow, allowing my eyes to scan the curve of her hips.

"I usually spend the night with my family," I answered with a shrug. "We're not big on celebrating it to be honest. We just watch a few bad horror movies and leave it at that."

"What? Alice doesn't dress up or anything? I heard she lived for that type of stuff." It was true that Alice loved the holidays, just not this particular one.

It all stemmed from a bad costume she'd been made to wear years ago. Esme thought it would be cute for us to go as the Addams Family. Emmett as Uncle Fester, Alice as Wednesday and myself as Gomez. However, when Esme returned from the costume shop moments before we were set to go trick-or-treating, we found out that a mistake had been made. Instead of a Wednesday costume for Alice, there was one resembling Cousin Itt. Both me and Emmett were too tall to fit into it, and there hadn't been enough time for our mother to make an alternative.

Alice had grudgingly put the offensive costume on, soon covered head-to-toe in artificial hair and strips of brown fabric. Needless to say she'd been in a bad mood all night. Sure we couldn't see her whole face behind all that hair, but you didn't have to be a genius to figure out she was frowning while Esme was cooing and snapping shots of the three of us together. She'd held a grudge against the holiday ever since.

"Well sure, she likes Christmas and Valentine's, happy shit, you know?"

"Oh," she said, drawing out the word. "Well, perhaps we could do something together instead?" Just as I was about to respond, Em's Jeep pulled into the spot next to us, the loud engine momentarily cutting off my chance to speak.

I straightened up, immediately dodging a headlock from Em as he jumped towards me. I flipped him off with a chuckle, both of us choosing to double-team Jasper instead.

"No, Emmett! I've told you before, I won't suck your dick!" Jasper shouted, loud enough for the majority of students still loitering around the lot to hear. Em's expression was comical as he looked down at the hold he currently had Jazz trapped in.

Jazz's face was in line with my brothers crotch.

I cracked up, laughing freely as Em gave one last noogie, not in the least bothered at what others thought of him.

"You just wish you could experience this quality meat," he responded, linking his arms across his chest with a wink.

"You do realize you just referred to your junk as "quality meat", right?" I asked as I tried to hold back a snigger. I failed miserably, chuckling along with Jazz as Alice attempted to straighten out his hair.

"Christ, Alice he's not a child. I'm pretty sure he can survive five seconds without you fawning over him," I informed her as I contemplated if I had enough time to smoke before first period.

"Hey, just because your hair looks like you've only just woken from a mid-day nap with your blankie in one hand and Mr. Snuffles in the other, doesn't mean everyone likes the toddler look."

"Leave Mr. Snuffles out of this," I said defensively to my sister, realizing how much of a tool I just sounded like. Mr. Snuffles had been my bear as a baby. He had one eye missing and a bright purple nose. He was quite obviously superior to other bears out there.

"It'll be okay man, it'll be okay," Jazz mocked as he slung his arm around my shoulders. I elbowed him in his side, jumping back as he attempted to reciprocate.

"Jesus, can't you boys stop touching each other for ten seconds?" Rose sighed, her head titled towards the sky. "I swear, if Em's eyes weren't permanently glued to my boobs I'd be a little worried."

Em started making some disgusting growling noise as he stalked over towards her. The sly smile on her face showing that she was getting the reaction she'd hoped for. She walked backwards away from him, making it one of their many games they liked to play.

I raised a brow at Jazz, both of us rolling our eyes as Rosalie's squeal permeated the parking lot.

I focused my attention on the late arrivals zooming into empty spaces, spotting Bella talking with Mike on the opposite side of the Jeep to where I was currently standing, a bright smile on his face, the kind they'd use in a toothpaste commercial. I couldn't see her face clearly through the windows as her back was half-turned towards me.

It irritated me that I wasn't able determine what kind of mood she was in today.

I'd completely forgotten Tanya was still beside me, her huff startling me a little. I snapped my eyes to her face, frowning as I followed her line of sight to the person I'd only moments before been staring at myself.

"So, Halloween?" she questioned again. I shrugged my bag on my shoulder as I watched Mike make his way over to Tyler, leaving Bella to make her way into the building. Alone.

"Um, maybe," I replied distractedly. "Listen, I'll see you later, alright?" I gave her a brief smile, her face stoic as I jogged to catch up to Bella. Alice looked questioningly at me as I passed, my hand reaching out to ruffle her hair as a distraction.

"You'll pay for that!" she shouted after me. I glanced over my shoulder, the exaggerated pout on her face contradicting her words. She rolled her eyes at me, eventually smiling before climbing onto Jazz's back as he crouched down in front of her to carry her the remaining distance into the school.

"What's up, neighbour?" I smirked, slinging my arm around Bella's shoulders, earning a few stares from other students.

"Ugh, no no no," she half whined. "It's still morning, Edward. At least give me until lunch before you make it your mission to say or do whatever you have planned." She turned her head to the left, brown meeting green as she gazed up at me.

"What? I can't say hello now? You wound me, Bella," I sighed, placing my palm against my chest, over my heart.

"Please, like you have anything in there," she smiled, teasing me as she pushed my hand from my body. "I bet it doesn't pound in your chest when you're nervous or excited, or feel like it's going to burst from a simple smile." She blushed at her words, her cheeks blossoming to a pale pink hue like the roses in Mrs. Clearwater's garden. _I should write this shit down. I'd make a fortune come Valentine's Day._

She shocked me as she unexpectedly paused, bending slightly to put her ear to my chest. I gazed down at her, a smile tugging at my lips, amused at her actions. I could feel my pulse quicken, the scent of her shampoo making me want to taste her skin.

"Finished?" I sighed, tugging on the ends of her hair. She righted herself, biting her lip as she squinted her eyes ever so slightly.

"For now," she answered, tucking a few stray strands of hair behind her ear. My eyes followed the movement, immediately coming to rest back on her face.

I gave her a crooked grin, taking a step towards her. "Does that mean I now get to put my head to _your_ chest?" She held her hands in front of her, lightly grasping my forearms.

"I don't think so," she answered, shaking her head, eyes fierce.

"Don't be shy," I said, licking my marginally dry lips. "We can even pretend to play Doctor and Nurse." She released her hands from my arms, bringing them to her face to rub at her eyes.

"My hair will turn grey before the end of the year, I just know it," she growled, turning away from me. I was about to tell her to stop, but it was too late, she'd already banged her knee on the now open car door of some freshman whose name I couldn't remember.

She growled again, rubbing at her leg as she gave me a scowl. The kid apologized, Bella waved him off, stating she hadn't been paying enough attention to her surroundings. I paused at her side, gently grasping her elbow, nodding my head to the side of the school where the benches were located. She huffed, a sharp nod of permission given as she walked with me, my hand moving down to her wrist.

"You okay?" I asked, freeing her arm as she sat. I crouched down, bringing myself more at level with her face so I could read her expression.

"I'm fine, Edward," she replied, pulling down her knee-length sock to take a quick look.

"You have a bruise," I stated with a frown, running my fingers lightly over the mark. She shrugged, watching my hand.

"Yeah, so?" she said, dropping her bag to the ground. "I get them all the time, klutz, remember?" she laughed. "Plus, my skin is so pale it honestly doesn't take a lot."

I nodded, gently pulling her sock back up for her. I flashed my eyes to her face, wanting to double-check she was really okay. Her lips were marginally parted, eyes dark. Her hand came to rest upon mine, my fingers unconsciously stroking the soft skin just above her knee.

"Thank you," she whispered, the words faint and breathy. I pulled my hand away and stood, shoving them into my pockets.

"You're welcome," I answered automatically. I cleared my throat, startled when the bell rang. "Anyway, we should get to class." I gave her a half smile, turning to head through the doors. The abrupt commotion in the hallway drowned out my confusing thoughts.

I had music first period, a lesson I actually enjoyed. I slipped into my seat next to some emo girl who liked to go off and practice playing her clarinet in the corner of the room. Always the corner.

The teacher placed our separate sheets of music for today's lesson on the desk in front of us. I picked them up, leaving mine in front of me on the table, and nudged the girl next to me to indicate where her sheet was. She swung around in her seat, somewhat startled, her hair nearly hitting me in the face in her haste. Her t-shirt caught my eye, the words "Dirty Pirate Hooker" displayed in bold lettering. My eyes widened a little, wondering what that the hell she meant by that exactly.

Was she a part of some club that was dedicated to pirates... and hookers? Was it from a movie? Did she like booty?

"I wanna, li-li-li-lick you from your head to your toes."

I coughed, almost choking on my own saliva as I snapped my eyes to her face. "Err...what?" I asked dumbly. I mean, I was shocked, but if she was game...

"Rub-a-dub on my tits while I nu-nut on your lips, fucka."

Okay, that was a little weird that time. She wasn't looking at me any more, but who else could she be talking to?

I hesitantly tapped her on her shoulder, her whole body jumping in her chair. Then she placed her Ipod on the desk and removed her ear buds...oh... _oh!_

"Sorry, I was just... never mind, it was nothing." I didn't want to embarrass her, or myself. She gave me a strange look, putting her earphones back in as she made her way over to her 'emo corner'.

I swear she turned and called me a weirdo.

I shook my head, choosing instead to focus on the familiar notes in front of me.

OoOoO

Saturday afternoon I found myself in the den with Jazz and Em, laughing at some comedy show that was on the TV. I'd spent the majority of last night up in my room doing homework. I had two assignments that were due Monday, both lengthy pieces too. I had wanted to get them out of the way with so I could enjoy my weekend.

The door at the top of the stairs opened, Alice, Rose, and lastly, Bella made their way down. It was a pretty nice day out, so Alice thought it would be a great idea to use the pool. I had raised a brow, telling her that the weather made absolutely no difference considering that the pool was indoor. She'd simply stuck her tongue out, blowing a childish raspberry that resulted in a laugh from us both.

"Finally," Em said, shutting off the TV. "What took you guys so long? You only went next door so Bella could grab her swimsuit." Rose flicked him on the shell of his ear as she sat in his lap, rolling her eyes at his sullen face.

"We talked to the Chief for a bit," Rose answered, placing a kiss to Em's cheek to get him to stop sulking.

"Then Jacob arrived to drop something off for Charlie from his dad," Alice shrugged, pulling Jazz up from the couch. Rose immediately wrinkled her nose at the mention of Bella's... whatever.

I had to refrain from giving her a fist bump.

I ran my hand through my hair, taking a quick peek at Bella through my lashes, my head still tilted towards the floor. She seemed fidgety today, even more so than in biology yesterday. She'd been pretty quiet the whole class, only talking to me when the lesson required it.

We all got to our feet, heading for the door leading to the pool. I had always loved the smell of the chlorine in the water for some reason, so I wasn't bothered when the scent hit me. The girls went into the changing room to get into their gear, the click of the door echoing throughout the space.

Jazz, Em and I already had our shorts on, so we simply lost our shirts and chucked them on the cushioned wicker chairs lining the wall. It didn't surprise me when Em dive-bombed into the water straight away, spraying water over the sides, Jazz followed after him with some back-flip maneuver. I dived in normally, momentarily staying underwater before breaking the surface. I ran my hands through my hair and down my face, laughing at the sight of Em sitting in a bright pink inflatable rubber-ring.

I could hear their voices becoming louder from the changing room, my eyes trained on the handle. Bella's giggle floated through into the room as the door finally opened.

She emerged through the doors in a blue and white striped bikini, showing off so much skin I almost couldn't breathe. She'd pretty much rendered me both speechless and immobile.

_The fact that you have yet to pass out shows you're still breathing. Anyone would think you've never seen a pair of boobs before. You're no monk. You don't wear a nasty ass robe or have a bowl haircut._ That's true, my hair is pretty awesome. _Plus, you discovered your first porno at fourteen. Snap the fuck out of it!_

Emmett immediately started whistling, a soft blush staining her cheeks as she looked anywhere but at me. I leisurely swam towards the steps leading into the pool, standing to my full height as I decided to be all gentlemanly and shit and help Alice and Rose in.

I held out my hand to Rose as she stepped in, her brows raised in question.

"What? I can be nice when I want to," I insisted with a smile. She snorted, tapping my cheek a few times before swimming over to Emmett. Funny thing was, I think that was the best form of thanks I'd ever got from her.

Alice ignored my hand completely as Jasper appeared beside me, gathering her into his arms and instantly dunking them both under the water despite my sister's half-hearted squeals of protest. I turned back to focus my attention on the suddenly shy girl hesitating at the side.

I smirked as I watched her run her hand through her hair, her other arm wrapped high around her torso, doing amazing things to her breasts. Her teeth started worrying her bottom lip; she obviously wasn't happy I was waiting here.

"SVB, get your cute butt in here!" Em bellowed, his voice echoing through the tiled room, earning a light chuckle from me. She abruptly turned to face me, all shyness seemingly gone as she walked towards the steps. The pale expanse of her legs filled my sight, reminding me of the night of her party.

My eyes followed her body as she further immersed herself into the water, taking in all her soft skin and curves. My hand immediately reached out for her as she lowered herself onto the final step, finally becoming eye level with me.

She raised a brow, her hands skimming the top of the water as she looked from my offered palm, back to my face, evidently not intending to accept my offer of help.

I stepped a bit closer, bringing my chest flush with hers, her covered breasts lightly grazing my skin. I grasped her hips, her hands coming to rest on my shoulders.

"Ready for a little fun, Bella?"

"With you?" she grinned, her hands moving to my chest. "No." she pushed me backwards, squeaking when Jazz picked her up and carried her to Emmett, who was still sitting in that bright pink inflatable. He helped her up into his lap, her laugh echoing off the walls as Jazz and Alice spun them.

I watched them all take turns for a while, finding it particularly funny when Em fell off, splashing Rose in the process. She refused to sit on the inflatable after that, not wanting to get her hair wet.

"Rose, you're in a swimming pool for fuck's sake," I said while floating near Bella, my foot accidentally brushing against hers. She tried to kick me under the water, but it came off as more of a push due to the resistance of the water.

I smirked as she glared at me, suddenly choosing to splash me instead. The next thing I knew all out war had started, Rose immediately hiding behind an inflatable bed as wave after wave of water flew though the air.

It had somehow ended up girls against boys, Em using the rubber ring as our "home base" as the girls crowded behind the bed. We must have looked like cabana boys next to this bright pink thing. All that was needed now was a few cocktails and a cougar, and we'd be set.

"We need to get rid of their shield," Jasper announced, a goofy grin on his face. "The only thing is, Rose is the enemy taking charge of the inflatable. I have to live with the girl, so I'm classing myself a deserter in this operation." I laughed, wondering when the war and history references would start slipping out.

"She'll totally maim my piano, or car, so I'm... abandoning that particular mission," I grinned, looking over to a very pleased Jasper. Fucker loved his history. "I'll concentrate on the other two," I stated, glancing at my sister who had that mischievous expression on her face that always led to something bad on my part.

"Fine," Em huffed. "But if she uses her usual form of punishment and I get blue balls, there will be hell to pay."

Me and Jazz both sniggered, earning an over zealous tap on the back from him. "Let's go win us an inflatable."

As we made our way cautiously through the water, Rose surprisingly left her shelter, Bella following behind her.

They were up to something.

Rose started messing with the halter tie to her top, huffing and swearing. "Shit, I've come undone." Em's eyes bugged out his head as he watched the material start to slip.

"Oh fuck," he mumbled. Me and Jazz both looked at each other seriously.

We'd lost a soldier.

Em was following Rose's movements as she moved off to the edge, but I was concentrating on the brunette biting her lip shyly as she stared back at me. She held my gaze as her hand slid from her hair, drifting slowly down her neck to her... _Jesus Christ._

She was adjusting her boobs in her bikini, the material wet, sticking to her skin and leaving nothing to the imagination. Jasper looked kind of panicked as he abruptly turned his head away from the sight in front of us... and that's when I realized that something felt... off.

_Alice._

I swung around to see her climb on the ring, her fingers waving daintily as she blew Jasper a kiss.

"I guess that mean we won, huh?" she asked, knowing very well that they had.

"The opposition just wiped us out of the water," Jazz whispered, half pissed, and half in awe as he gazed all wondrous at my sister. Gross.

Bella smirked at me as she joined Alice and Rose, Em following, looking pretty happy considering we'd just lost. He'd totally gotten a few gropes in.

"I officially declare ourselves on leave," Jasper announced as shook his head. It wasn't long until we were both laughing.

I decided to grab the inflatable bed, wanting to relax a bit. I lay down and closed my eyes, basking in the warmth of the room.

I didn't know how long I'd been lying here, but music suddenly escaped the built-in speakers, low in volume, almost like a faint humming. Considering that all of us were still in the water, Esme must have accidentally pressed one of the many buttons on the control panel that ruled most of the speakers throughout the house.

I was about to go and offer to turn it off if it was bothering anyone, when I found myself flying off the bed, landing face first in the water. I rubbed the water from my eyes, pushing the inflatable out the way to see who hard turned it over.

Em's laughter was droning out the music, cat calls soon accompanying him. I was shocked when I found myself staring at Bella, a mischievous grin on her plump lips. She immediately started backing up, keeping herself afloat as she held onto the side railing of the pool.

I grinned playfully and instantly stalked towards her. She let out a squeal, making the mistake of turning her back to me as she swam away. I dived under the water, my longer frame able to catch up to her with ease. I was actually a pretty good swimmer; she'd really never stood a chance of escaping me.

My arms encased her waist, pulling her up against me. "You're in so much trouble," I whispered into her ear, ignoring her squirming. She ended up with her back pressed into the corner of the pool, biting her lip as she gazed back at me. I was the predator and she was my prey; I knew just what to do.

My hands came to her ribs, wasting no time in tickling her. I had done this to her a few times now, and each time it would set her off laughing. I didn't know why I wanted to hear it again now; she was in a playful mood, and I guess at some point it must have become infectious.

I didn't know how, but her legs ended up around my waist, her hands trying to pull mine away from her skin.

"Please, I'm sorry," she giggled, her eyes scrunched up, little creases forming at the outer corners.

I halted my fingers and waited for her to open her eyes. When she eventually did they were bright, happy and utterly consuming. Her arms were around my neck, quick breaths hitting my face as she tried to control her breathing. I was a little breathless myself, but I wasn't positive it was just due to chasing her.

My gaze dropped to her parted lips, her legs tightening around my waist as my hands circled the underside of her knees, unconsciously bringing her closer to me.

I think we both realized where we were at the exact same time as a loud splash from the opposite end of the pool snapped us out of our bubble.

Our faces had been inches apart.

Not only had I shocked myself, but from the slow speed at which she dropped her legs from around me, it was apparent Bella was also somewhat stunned. She was anxiously looking over my shoulder, relief immediately evident in her features and shaky exhalation. I pushed away from her, turning around to see Alice cheering while sitting on Jazz's shoulders, a very grumpy looking Rosalie wringing the water from her hair. She usually tried to keep her hair from getting wet as she said the chlorine was bad for her locks. That explained the sour face. Em's pout was probably due to losing whatever game they had just played.

I quickly glanced at Bella before we both made our way to the others.

"Ugh, I feel like a prune," Rose said, irritation marring her tone. Alice took a look at her own fingers, wrinkling her nose.

"I'm ready to get out," I announced quickly.

I was feeling suffocated.

"Yeah, dude, I need to shower," Jazz voiced, winking at Alice. I groaned in disgust, Em pointing a finger at our friend, his voice defeated as he spoke.

"I'm going to forget I just heard that."

Jazz just shook his head in response. "And I'll forget you just groped my sister's ass." I groaned again, Bella snorting beside me.

"You do all realize Esme's home, right?" Bella asked as if it should have been obvious.

"She was," Alice smiled. "But mum goes for coffee every Saturday afternoon with Mrs. Clearwater." Bella nodded, her cheeks reddening a little as she cleared her throat.

I was really starting to like that blush.

We all jumped out the pool, well the boys jumped, the girls used the steps. Usually we'd used the massive shower stall down here to rinse off. It had about five separate shower heads running the length of the smallest wall.

I turned the closet shower on, stepping underneath the spray as Alice and Jazz immediately excused themselves to use Alice's en-suite. Bella settled herself under the head beside me, my brother beside her.

"Eww, god, no Em," Bella laughed as she hid behind her hands. Em had made a show of telling Bella he usually rinsed off naked, undoing his ties the whole time. He earned a slap on the arm from Rose, the noise causing me to wince. I know from experience that a slap to wet skin stung like a bitch.

"I haven't got any of my shampoo down here," Rose moaned, searching through the bottles on the shelf to the left of us.

"Can't you just use one of the others?" Em asked, rinsing his own from his hair.

"No, because I like my own." She gave up her search and turned her water off. "And as someone dropped me earlier and got chlorine in my hair" she snapped, looking pointedly at Emmett, "I don't want to end up with hair resembling straw."

Em rolled his eyes as Bella picked a bottle of shampoo and conditioner to use. Rose quickly wrapped herself in a towel and disappeared through the door, leaving the three of us to finish.

After a few minutes, a throat cleared awkwardly. "I'm going to go and see if Rose needs any... err... help washing her hair," Em said, winking at Bella as he charged out the door after her.

And then there were two.

I tried really hard not to stare at the way the water cascaded down her body, or how she would tilt her head back when rinsing her hair, the scent of flowers and fruits surrounding me. I closed my eyes and pushed my face directly into the spray, trying to block out the image of the girl next to me.

It had only been a few seconds, but I turned my head, finding it impossible to ignore her presence. She was looking back at me, her hand clutching tightly to the body-wash in her palm. My jaw clenched, my hands pressing into the tiles in front of me.

Her lips were parted, her chest heaving. She was standing there wet, droplets of water stuck to her skin, looking at me with hooded eyes_. _I bent my head, letting the water travel down my back as I took a deep breath, exhaling slowly through my nose.

The sound of a bottle hitting the floor registered about the same time that Bella appeared before me, grasping the hair at the base of my neck and crashing her lips to mine.

I wasted no time in matching her pressure, my hands touching every bit of exposed skin in reach. I didn't stop her, I didn't question her motives, I just _did. _

I pulled her closer to me, loving the warmth of her body, her soft curves. I pushed her backwards against the tiles, a gasp leaving her mouth as the difference in heat registered with her skin.

I was shocked that this was happening. After the first time, I never imagined actually being able to do this with her again. I shouldn't be with her like this. I shouldn't feel the need to kiss her, to feel her lips against mine. It was both wrong and right, like and dislike. It was surrender.

I ran my tongue along her bottom lip, groaning when she opened her mouth to me. Her tongue met mine, warm and wet and addictive.

Her lips abruptly pulled away, her pants echoing off the walls as she arched her back, pushing her chest further against me. My mouth found her neck, lightly sucking on the skin behind her ear, earning a whimper from her.

I pressed my hips to her, letting her know exactly what she was doing to me. She moved back against me, matching my movements. Every stroke of her palm along my back, every breath against my ear, it was all driving me mad. I needed more.

The steam clouded us as I slipped my hand around her back to pull on the tie of her bikini. She didn't stop me, a sigh expelled between us as my palm found her breast. I kissed her again as I teased her nipple, the muscles in my stomach tightening as her fingers brushed along the trail of hair above my shorts. I had to stop myself from begging her to lower her hand.

I kissed down her jaw, her throat, my hands trailing down her chest and stomach. I paused at the edge of the material at her hips, giving her an out, preparing for her refusal.

Her response was to palm me through my shorts.

I groaned, the pressure of her hand on my dick feeling so, so good. I slipped my hand slowly into her the waistband of her bikini bottoms, my fingers light and hesitant. Her lips and tongue were working against my neck as my finger brushed against her bundle of nerves.

She gasped, her hand immediately leaving me. I looked down at her face, about to pull my hand away, thinking she'd changed her mind, but then she shocked the shit out of me by pushing my shorts away without any warning, pulling out my erection, exposing me. Her eyes were dark and wide as she ran her fingers along my length, her lips pouty and swollen from my kisses. I wanted them wrapped around me.

"Holy fuck," I breathed, resting my forehead against hers as she wrapped her hand around my cock. I applied a little more pressure from my hand as my finger slid between her lips, gently circling her entrance.

The sound of the water hitting the floor was the backdrop to our strangled moans and breaths. She started to stroke me, slow and a little awkward at first, watching my face to see what I liked. I pressed my lips to hers as I finally pushed my finger inside her.

She tensed at first, her hand stopping. I was confused, not expecting that reaction. Had I hurt her? Surely this wasn't the first time someone had experienced this with her? I didn't move, letting her get comfortable again. She was tight, and there was so much heat. My dick wanted in.

"Are you okay?" I asked, searching her eyes. She blushed and nodded her head, resuming her actions. I moved my finger slowly, encouraged when she pushed herself harder against the movement of my hand. I circled her nub with my thumb, adding a little more pressure as she whimpered into my neck.

Her hand gripped me tighter, moving faster, my teeth clenching in reaction. My eyes found the door, panic momentarily settling in when I realized that someone could walk in at any moment and see this. However, all thoughts of getting caught flew out the proverbial window when her thumb brushed over my tip.

I kissed her forcefully as I changed the angle of my movement and curled my finger inside of her. I swallowed her moans as she came undone seconds later, mewling as I brushed against her clit.

I was so close to my own release, her hand still working me as her breathing started to slow down. I pulled my hand from her bottoms, her mouth opening slightly as I did so.

Her eyes held mine captive as she further increased her pace, my palms now resting on the tiles behind her head. I could feel that familiar tightening, continuously building and building. With more more pass over my head with her thumb, I came, throwing my head back as my orgasm hit. I clenched my jaw, squeezing my eyes shut, groaning as she pumped me a few more times. I stopped her hand, opening my eyes to find her looking at my now deflated penis.

The colour in her cheeks made me chuckle lightly. She'd just given me a hand-job, and yet she seemed to be embarrassed now by simply looking at it. I honestly didn't think I'd ever understand this girl.

I removed both of our hands, tucking myself back into my shorts, gently turning her around so I could re-tie her bikini top.

I turned off the water and grabbed a towel, pausing in front of her to wrap it around her shoulders. She hadn't spoken one word to me throughout any of what had just happened, and she still didn't now.

As usual, I had no idea what she was thinking.

Her hand reached forward, her fingers following the droplets of water trickling down my skin. I closed my eyes, relishing the feeling of her touch.

We both jumped, the thud of doors closing and hurried footsteps startling us, her more so than me as she started to take small steps backwards.

Her eyes were wide, panicked, mouth opening and closing as she looked towards the door.

She was going to run.

"Bella?" Alice's voice was becoming more distinct as she called, footsteps growing louder and closer.

Her brows were furrowed, clutching the towel tighter to her frame as she hesitated by the door.

Time seemed to freeze as she gazed back at me, her eyes flooding with unspoken words. At the tell-tale sound of footsteps descending the stairs, she turned and left. The boom of the door shutting behind her was as deafening as thunder, the air rumbling and strident.

The storm had begun.

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	18. Chapter 18

**Firstly, thank you all so much for your continued support. Your reviews make me smile.**

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**Bella

I quickened my pace, making it about half-way across the room before Alice appeared at the bottom of the stairs, now dressed in a simple pair of jeans shorts and a purple shirt.

"There you are, I was calling you," she said, skipping towards me to grab my hand. She paused, a frown overtaking her features. "You OK? You look a little flushed." I nodded my head, my left hand fisting into my damp towel.

"I'm fine. It's just a little stuffy in there will all the steam, you know?" I hated lying to her, but I couldn't tell her the truth.

To be honest, I wouldn't even know how to explain any of it anyway.

She cocked her head to the side like she usually did when thinking, her eyes curious, squinted, but not unfriendly.

"You know you can tell me anything, right?" I gave a swift nod, wanting... needing to placate her. "You're one of my best friends. If there's anything bothering you, I could help." I smiled and swallowed the lump in my throat. _I was becoming an awful person._

"I know, but honestly, I'm good." She took one last look at me before letting out a soft sigh, her fingers tightening through mine.

"Alright, but lets get you into some dry clothes before you catch a chill." She winked at me pulling me along after her up the stairs, her short legs surprisingly able to ascend them at a pretty moderate speed.

"Alice, unless you want me to face-plant these suckers, you're going to have to slow down," I said breathlessly, a hint of amusement in my voice.

We passed Esme entering via the front door on our way to the main staircase, the slight breeze of autumn following her through. I put on my best smile, making minimal eye contact as I swiftly glanced her way. I was paranoid, sure she'd be able to draw out my many secrets with one of her effective motherly stares.

I was trying to keep my shit together, hoping my guilt and nervousness wasn't showing through the veil of false smiles and light tone.

The factor that worried me most of all was that I didn't feel regret this time. I had wanted it, no questions asked. The sight of him in nothing but his shorts caused something inside of me to snap. He'd relentlessly flirted and teased me, and I was only just coming to understand how effective his actions had been.

I doubted the image of him beneath the warm spray of water would ever leave my subconscious. It would always be there, revealing itself at - I'm sure - any inconvenient moment it could.

I realized my clothes were still downstairs, and I didn't think I could face going back down there knowing I'd have to pass Edward at some point on the way. I was being stupid, I'd have to face him soon. It's not like I wouldn't _not_ see him again, I was simply buying some time until I figured out what the hell I was going to do now. Actions like these always had consequences; I just needed to figure a few things out.

I knew what it must have looked like to him. I wasn't so much running this time, more... hiding. I didn't want my friends to think differently of me. Would they judge me if they knew? This wasn't just any boy. It was Alice's brother. It could make things weird between us, awkward. I knew that people in the past had faked friendship with her in order to get closer to her brothers. I didn't want her to doubt my sincerity concerning her friendship.

My actions had proved how impossible it was to ignore my physical reaction to Edward. I would have to tell Jake I only wanted to stay friends. It was the right decision to make, especially seeing as my common sense had decided to fly out the window and soar high in the sky among the fluffy clouds.

"Crap, my clothes are still downstairs. Would you be able to grab them for me?" I asked Alice as soon as we'd entered my room, the climb to the top floor having been otherwise wordless.

"Shoot, yeah, my phone's still down there too. I'll be right back." I gave her a grateful smile, waiting until she'd disappeared from sight until I sank to the mattress.

I rested my head in my hands, staring blindly at the plush carpet as I muttered an "Oh God" into the silence of the room.

I couldn't believe I'd thrown myself at him like that... well, that was a small lie. He'd been driving me crazy for weeks. He'd even infiltrated his way into my dreams. The simple fact was, I just couldn't stop my hands from wanting to touch him, or rather, for his to touch me.

I didn't know what was happening to me. I'd never been the type of girl to get caught up in boys or looks. I was never envious growing up watching my peers have dates and sneaking kisses before class. None of that stuff ever blipped on my radar. Yet here, now, I was feeling these urges, these desires. I just wished they weren't occurring with the one person who made everything that more complicated than teen hormones already were.

Whenever Edward was in close proximity, my body would start to warm... then burn, the blood in my veins scorching like lava as it traveled through my limbs. I didn't know how to handle it, and that scared me. He was the only person who could extinguish the heat, that he, himself, had caused.

I didn't feel this with Jake. He was attractive, and it felt nice when kissing him, but it was never with an all consuming need. He was my friend; all hearts and smiles and comfort, where Edward was intense, green eyes and desire.

Not to mention utterly wrong for me.

He'd just told me himself; he didn't _do_ relationships. Nothing good would come of this connection we seemed to share. We were forever fighting or teasing. Nothing was ever serious. All the uncomfortable conversations and thoughts were pushed under the proverbial rug... forgotten, left to live with the dust and cobwebs.

Then there was his history with Jake.

I was still in the dark concerning their past. Both sides were telling very vague and different stories. There were lies and judgements all encased in concrete, the angry cracks refusing to rupture no matter how many times I attempted to encourage the break.

I slowly raised my head at the sound of the floorboards creaking out in the hallway, the soft pad causing me to believe it was Alice returning with our things.

It wasn't.

Edward was paused between our two doors, his feet squeaking on the highly polished wood as they shifted slightly. His body was facing forward, staring at a picture Esme had collected on one of her many vacations around the world. If I remember correctly, that particular one had come from Italy.

I sat and watched as his shoulders dropped with a sigh, his hand running through his mass of damp, unruly hair. He angled his head towards me, gazing at me with a stoic expression that was so unlike him. He was always bravado and passion, anger and amusement. Never this.

I was frozen, my eyes glued to his, stuck in his hold. I was unable to look away.

He turned his body to face me, taking a tentative step forward, always watching me. I felt my chest start to rise rapidly, the towel suddenly feeling tight around my ribs... suffocating. He hesitated again before taking another step... then another, continuing this movement until he was standing in front of me in his half-naked glory. I blinked a few times in succession, the blue towel low and distracting on his hips.

My mouth felt dry, my tongue heavy. I was looking at him, my head tilted up. He was so close.

He evidently knew nothing of personal boundaries.

"We need to talk... in private," he said lowly just as Alice breezed back into the room. I nodded in agreement, knowing that this conversation with him was now inevitable.

"Ewww, Edward, go put some clothes on," Alice moaned. "One article of clothing may be required for swimming, but not for walking around the house all day." She wrinkled her nose at her brother as she set my clothes beside me, soon turning to rummage through the dresser drawer that housed a collection of hair accessories.

I allowed my eyes to drop to Edward's chest, following the lines of muscle on his body. His hand absently came to rub his torso, the action entrancing.

I felt my face start to heat when I realized I'd unabashedly been caught staring at him longer than I should have in present company. I flicked my gaze back to his face, his mouth now curled up on one side, his full lips morphed into a crooked smile. I bit my own lip and looked away, stopping myself from blurting out something entirely inappropriate.

I cleared my throat and noticed Alice staring curiously at her brother through the reflection in the mirror sitting on the dresser. I felt my throat tighten in panic. _What was that look for?_

It was almost impossible to keep secrets from Alice, her keen eye not missing much. From the way she was currently watching Edward she'd definitely started to notice... _something_. I mean, I'm sure she was aware we bickered constantly, but hopefully that was where her curiosity stopped.

"I'm just going to go change," I told no one in particular. I grabbed my clothing from the bed, my legs feeling a little shaky as I stood. Edward didn't step back to give me space, my feet awkwardly trying to steady myself so I wouldn't bump into him.

My shoulder unintentionally brushed against his arm as I passed, my eyes trained on the bathroom door. I closed it behind me, twisting the lock, ignoring the way my skin had broken out in goosebumps due to something so simple.

I dressed quickly, my legs refusing to co-operate as I tried to wrestle them into my jeans. I hastily grabbed onto the edge of the sink when my foot got caught in the material, my hands squeaking on the wet porcelain as I tried to find my grip.

I took a deep breath, thankful that I hadn't fallen backwards and knocked myself out on the bathtub. I cursed lowly, my heart pounding as I glared at the piece of denim.

Once I'd managed to dress without further incident, I pushed my ear to the door, my hand lightly grasping the brass handle as I tried to ascertain whether or not anyone was still in the room.

I could still hear voices, the words muffled but sounding harsh in tone. I stepped back and hung my bikini over the bath to dry, folding my towel neatly to sit on top of the laundry hamper, the wicker material scratching against my finger and causing me to hiss.

I was hiding once again.

Finally deciding I'd been in here long enough, I squared my shoulders and opened the door.

Alice was sitting in the middle of the bed, her feet hovering over the end of the mattress. She scooted forward upon my reappearance, nodding for me to sit between her legs on the floor as she held up a hairbrush.

I settled myself on the carpet, pulling my legs to my chest as I loosely rested my arms around my knees. She worked the brush through my hair gently, quietly humming to herself. I closed my eyes, finding the action relaxing. I could feel the sun on my face through the window, my eyes wanting to stay closed and sleep.

"You and Edward seem to be getting a long a little better now." I refused to let my muscles tense like they wanted, resolved to stay calm.

"I guess," I shrugged, hoping to sound indifferent.

"That's good. I mean, I know you didn't get off to the best of starts," she said, gathering my hair into a ponytail. "You still haven't told me exactly what that was all about by the way." I was biting my bottom lip, my fingers fiddling with the sleeves of my shirt.

"Oh, really?" I asked, feigning forgetfulness. "I guess I just don't really think about it any more." _Lie_. "It was just a stupid disagreement about his speeding habits, nothing serious." I kept my voice steady and words casual. I didn't know whether she brought them or not. I was just praying she would drop the subject.

No such luck. I should have known better.

"I'm not blind, I see you two having your own little private chats. Not to mention, Edward has been home a lot more recently. Jasper thinks I'm looking into things too much, seeing stuff that isn't there. It's just that I know how my brother can be sometimes, and I while I can see he doesn't mean half the shit he does, others might not, you know?"

I nodded my head, letting Alice's words sink in. "Honestly, Edward's just being... Edward," I shrugged. "We're both stubborn people, so we're bound to butt heads over silly things now and again."

"So there's nothing I need to worry about? Because if he's still being a jerk, I'll kick his ass." I couldn't stop the snort that escaped me. I turned my head to the side slightly, gently stopping her wrist as she continued to run the brush through my hair.

"Seriously, I'm good," I told her with a smile. "Does he still irritate me sometimes? Sure. But I bet it's the same for him too. Nothing to worry about, just harmless banter." Her eyes were searching my face, brows drawn together.

"Fine," she said pointing the brush at me. "Keep your secrets Bella Swan, just know that if you need me, I'm here."

"I know, Alice Cullen," I teased, smiling as she rolled her eyes. "But like I said, I'm good."

She turned my head back around, silently finishing off my hair. "Well, I'm starving, you up for ice cream?"

I jumped to my feet, swinging around to face her. "You bet, but first, I just need to do something?"

She gave me a confused smile as I gazed down at her. "What?" she asked, checking her clothes and fluffing her hair.

"This," I said and pulled her off the bed to give her a hug. She returned my hug, her laughter filling the room as Em appeared in the doorway, wiping pretend tears from his eyes. Alice flipped him the bird, causing him to charge forward and throw her on the bed. I went to make my escape but Jasper and Rose suddenly materialized, unintentionally blocking the doorway.

"Going somewhere, Bella?" Jasper had that goofy grin on his face, looking behind me as he quickly took the scene in.

"Umm... no?" I replied nervously, backing away. My gaze unconsciously focused on the bathroom as I looked around for an escape. His eyes followed my movement, evidently knowing I was thinking of locking myself in there.

He made a grab for me the same time I ran for the bathroom door. "No, no no no," I squealed.

His hands were soon on my waist, my own laughter escaping as I landed on the bed beside Alice. We both looked at each other, silent words traded.

"What was that look?" he asked, pointing between the two of us.

"What look, sweetie?" Alice questioned coyly. I bit my lip to stop the giggle-snort that was trying to burst forth. His smile had faded, his Adam's apple now bobbing nervously.

"Oh shit," he whispered as we both dived for him, bringing him down to the mattress. We wasted no time in messing up his hair and tickling him into submission.

"You twoooo," he laughed, "s... so much trouble." We continued to ignore his pleas, his laughter infectious and carefree. "Emmett! A little help here!"

I looked behind us, laughing even harder when I spotted Em on the chaise lounge reading what looked like a Cosmopolitan magazine. His face was scrunched up as he rubbed the back of his neck.

"A little busy here, Dude," he replied, not even looking our way. "Hey Rosie, did you know this shit tells you how to give the perfect blow job?"

A pop echoed throughout the room as Rose blotted her newly applied lipstick. She stared at Emmett as she snapped the top back onto her diamanté encrusted tube.

"Are you saying there's something wrong with the way I perform that particular act?" Now it was my and Alice's turn to mutter "oh shit."

His face had paled, his hands cupping his junk. I swear he was even whispering to his balls. I definitely heard the word "blue."

"What? No Baby, I was just, you know, thinking aloud." She ran her tongue over her teeth, grabbing the magazine from his hands.

Jazz suddenly bit his fist to stop his laughter from starting up again, turning to roll over onto his stomach so he could press his face into the duvet. I elbowed him, whispering that he better not get spit on my sheets. This seemed to set him off further as his body started shaking the bed.

Alice wasn't even trying to hide her amusement as she was writhing on the bed in silent laughter, her eyes pinched closed and arms wrapped around herself.

Rose kept her right eyebrow raised the whole time she read the article, the three of us on the bed attempting to stay quiet. I was still sitting there, watching any movement either one of them made with complete fascination. _This is better than TV... man I wish I had some popcorn. And maybe a bag of nuts. Ooh, and also a strawberry smoothie... and smores. I could totally go build a fire, maybe we could even go camping? I could pretend to hear a bear and ask to share a tent with Dr. Cullen. And tents always get you really sweaty, so we would have to shed our clothing and maybe share a sleeping bag, you know, because of my fear of the bears. God I'm hungry..._

The sound of the magazine slapping against the small wooden table broke me from my reverie, only to see Rose leaning forward to grab Emmett's large hand in her own. "You, me, your room, now." Emmett looked like he'd just won the lottery as his face broke out into one of the biggest smiles I'd seen on his face to date.

"Yes ma'am," he replied eagerly, even going as far as to salute her. I sat there opened mouthed, wondering what the hell just had happened. _She's totally about to go give him head... oh, eww._

"I already feel sorry for their roommates in college," Alice giggled, prodding Jasper in the ass.

"That doesn't effect me Allie. You're always the pain in my ass." I snorted, jumping from the bed, pulling Alice and Jazz with me.

"You're just lucky I'm hungry, otherwise I'd make you pay for that," Alice smirked, a dangerous glint in her eye.

"Promises, promises," Jazz murmured, winking as we left the room.

"Hey, Alice. How do you feel about camping?"

OoOoO

I was sitting in my room, nervously staring at my phone. I had a date tonight with Jake. We'd already arranged it a few days back, so I didn't feel right canceling it. We would go out, and I would regretfully tell him I just wasn't ready for a serious relationship. Then we would hug and it would all be fine.

At least, that's how I hoped the evening would turn out.

I was trying to think positive, because the negative was too painful to comprehend. I was selfish... Edward was selfish. We were both disregarding others. I wasn't stupid enough to think this would end well. I was in too deep now, the tide had carried me out.

I was too far away from the safety of the shore.

My phone rang with the familiar ringtone, a text received.

_Leaving now. Be there soon. J :)_

Even his messages had smiley faces. I stood and glanced at myself in the mirror. I had on a simple pair of jeans and a black, long sleeved wrap top with a small silk bow hanging down the side that ultimately held the garment together. I paired this with a pair of black ballet flats.

I took a deep breath and grabbed my purse, shoving my phone inside as I flipped the light switch behind me.

Charlie was sitting in his leather recliner, his uniform on ready for his night shift. I peeked out of the curtains, my teeth worrying my bottom lip as I waited for Jake to beep.

"Now, no staying out too late, it's a school night," Charlie said while standing. I refrained from rolling my eyes and gave him a small smile instead. He had his arms crossed over his chest, looking a lot more serious than usual.

"I know, Dad," I voiced with a sigh. "It's only Jake. I promise to be home at a reasonable hour." I received a "hmpf" in return and turned back towards the window.

"So, are you too, you know?" he said hesitantly, waving his hand towards me.

"Are we what?" I asked, brows drawn together in confusion. He scratched the back of his head as he focused on the door.

"Well, dating or whatever?" I felt my cheeks heat, noticing Charlie's face had also bloomed in colour.

"Err... well, not really. It's complicated," I replied, thankful when I saw Jacob's car pull into the driveway. "Anyway, I gotta go. Night."

"Make sure to let me know when you're home," he shouted after me.

"Will do," I shouted back, closing the door behind me. I ran down the steps, making it to the passenger door before Jake could even get out of the car. I plopped down into the seat, crossing the seatbelt and clicking it into place.

"Someone's eager," Jacob laughed, leaning over to place a kiss on my cheek. I spotted the curtains being drawn, the porch light flicking on as Charlie got ready to leave for work. I tried not to appear too tense as his lips came closer to my mouth, my lips hesitant against his as he softly pressed his mouth to mine. I pulled away after a few seconds, giving him what I hoped was a reassuring smile.

"Charlie's leaving for work any minute now," I said while tucking my hair behind my ear. "I don't want him to catch us making out. That's a piece of awkward I could do without." I wrung my hands in my lap as I focused on his face, a smile, thankfully, still in place. He gave me a wink and pulled the car into reverse, his arm resting on the back of my seat as he looked behind us.

"So, where are we going?" I asked, flicking through the radio stations for a song I liked. Also, I wanted to keep my hands busy. If I continuously sat their fidgety he would know something was wrong.

"Umm, that's kind of what I wanted to speak to you about," he answered slowly, his fingers tightening around the wheel. "I tried to get a reservation for that new place in Port Angeles, but apparently you have to book so many days in advance, and well, I left it until today not thinking, so that pretty much only leaves the diner as it's so last minute," he said apologetically, almost wincing on the last word. "I'm really sorry."

I reached over and placed my palm on his knee, shaking my head. "Jake, don't be silly. It honestly doesn't matter where we eat," I said truthfully. "Plus, I'm in the mood for peach cobbler, so it's perfect." His lips curled up at the edges, his shoulders easing from the tense position they were in moments before. We listened to the radio the rest of the way, both of us humming along to a familiar tune.

He pulled into the lot opposite a familiar car, my face paling almost instantly. _Shit._ I almost considered asking him to take us somewhere else, but he was already out of the car and on his way to open my door for me. My eyes were wide as they focused on the flashing sign, the word "Newton's" flickering from white to blue, just as oppressive as a bad forecast.

I gripped the top of the door as I stood, Jacob's smile doing nothing to quell my nerves._ Oh god. Why does _he _have to be here tonight of all nights? I swear he must have some sort of beeper that alerts him to every situation to fuck me over._

A warm hand encased mine, a gentle squeeze given as he pushed the door open. The annoying bell rang over our heads, signaling our presence. Everyone gave a curious glance to see who had entered, some looking away as others continued to stare. I didn't look at faces, instead choosing to keep my eyes towards the floor. I didn't want to meet the gaze of the one person who shouldn't be here right now. I wasn't sure if I could go ahead with my plan knowing he was watching me.

I followed Jake to a booth, internally cursing as he seated us for most to see. It was obvious he wanted people to know we were on a date... that we were together. He sat opposite me, nodding his head in greeting to whoever caught his attention. I fiddled with the straps of my purse, finding the action comforting, my hands not wanting to let go.

"You OK?" Jake questioned, his features portraying worry, his eyes warm and tender. I selfishly wanted to climb in next to him on his seat and let him hold me.

"I'm fine," I answered automatically, managing a smile. I told myself to stop worrying. Jake was my friend, he would understand that I didn't feel that way for him. He was kind and generous and I had no reason to be awkward in his company. He's still my friend, we'd still be close and hang out. We would enjoy this night just like we normally would. Nothing has to change in that aspect. We just wouldn't kiss and stuff.

"Okie doke then, let's see what they're offering, shall we?" I nodded and picked up a menu, not really knowing why I did so as I was pretty sure the menu hadn't changed in the past ten years, maybe longer if I really thought about it. Plus, I always ordered the burger and fries anyway. I usually tried to eat healthy when I could, but I couldn't resist this particular treat. Mr. Newton made the burgers himself, and I hadn't found better anywhere else.

My phone beeped with a message just as I spotted Lauren making her way over. Her glare was icy as her hands blindly reached for the notepad in the front of her uniform. I had wondered at first why someone such as Lauren would even have a job. She always seemed to have nice things and didn't seem short of money. However, I'd learned from Alice that her father had divorced her mother after he'd gotten his secretary pregnant, stating he was in love with her. He'd left them the house and cars, but that was about it. Her mother had no qualifications and refused to work, the only jobs within her ability apparently too demeaning; so Lauren worked here a few times a week so she was able to keep up with her lifestyle choices. The money sent to her from her father was apparently always used for bills. Emmett had told me that he'd noticed a few different men leaving the house at odd times this summer when he and Jasper had driven past on their way home from working on their pitching for next season's baseball league. There was rumours around town that money was usually exchanged, but in a town like this, rumours could get out of hand. Words and truths were no doubt exaggerated and altered from one ear to the next.

"Are you ready to order?" she asked, completely ignoring me and sending a flirtatious smile Jacob's way.

"Bella?" Jake prompted, closing his menu and sliding it back down the table.

"I'll just have a burger and fries, thanks," I responded, digging through my purse for my phone. I blocked out Lauren's flirting and stared at the screen. _He wouldn't?_

I opened the text, quickly glancing at Jacob to see him still talking to Lauren, albeit looking terribly uncomfortable.

_Fun date? E_

I bit my lip and typed my response. _Yes thank you. You can leave now. B_

_Now why would I want to do that? P.S. You look pretty tonight. E_

My head snapped up, eyes immediately searching the diner. I found him sitting with Ben on the other side of the room, which considering the size of the place, wasn't that much of a distance. He was smirking back at me, obviously knowing I would try and scope him out. I could feel my face blossoming into that damn tell tale blush, not used to people other than Alice or Rose telling me I was pretty or happened to look nice, and even then it was embarrassing.

"Bella?" I squeezed my eyes closed and shook my head, swiftly focusing back on Jake. He had evidently ordered drinks as a glass of Coke was suddenly being pushed my way. "I got us both these, if that was okay?" I nodded gratefully, and took a big sip, relishing the feel of the ice cold fizz. _Anything to stop my brain from drifting to something... someone else. _

"So you had quite the admirer here just now," I teased, carefully placing the glass back on the table. He smiled and scratched his jaw.

"I thought she was never going to leave," he sighed. "What can I say, the ladies love me," he added with a laugh, throwing a wink my way. I tore a corner off one of the napkins, quickly rolling it between my palms to throw at his head.

"You want to be careful, your head won't fit through the door and you'll be stuck here." I took another sip of my Coke, eyeing him over the rim of my glass.

"I'm sure I could find a lovely lady to help me find a way out." I snorted into my drink, Coke flying into my face. He let out a loud chuckle as I wiped my face, turning my face away from the rest of the diners.

I felt my phone buzz, thankful I'd put it on silent. "Jerk," I muttered playfully, smiling to let him know I was teasing. I took a covert glance at my phone that was now hidden in my lap, my foot tapping the leg of my chair in annoyance.

_Blow him off. Come home with me. E_

I coughed, completely caught off guard. Was he serious? I picked up my drink, pretending I'd just had a little tickle in my throat.

"Fucker," Jake whispered. I wasn't sure if I was meant to hear, but I certainly had. I looked up in panic, thinking he'd somehow managed to see who was texting me. I was completely paranoid, a sure sign of guilt. I was relieved to see he wasn't staring at me, but rather across the room.

I didn't have to look to see who he was referring to.

"You, OK?" I asked, not sure what else I was supposed to say. His jaw was clenched, his hands splayed flat on the table in front of him.

He sighed, the sound of his foot tapping angrily on the floor not escaping my notice. It made my unease over what would happen later that more potent. "Yeah, just forgot that I'd probably see _him_ here." I played the ignorance card and frowned in confusion. "Cullen," he voiced, the one simple word holding so much distaste I internally winced. _If he ever finds out he'll never forgive you._

The food arrived, both of us seemingly thankful for the distraction. I felt my phone vibrate against my leg, but chose to ignore it this time.

"I'm so full," I said after I'd near enough finished everything on my plate. I leaned back in my seat, and rubbed my stomach, a mix between a giggle and a groan leaving my lips resulting from the action.

Jake reached over and nabbed the remaining fries off my plate, his mouth packed full, giving him hamster cheeks. I laughed out loud at my thought, his hand covering his mouth so no food would fly out as he also tried not to chuckle.

I ran my hand through my hair, turning my head when movement caught my eye. Edward had pushed his chair back slowly, his table now deserted. He exited the diner with his hands deep in his pockets and head titled down. I tried not to stare after him, I really did, but I knew I'd been caught when I turned to find Jake with a frown on his face.

My hands balled on my lap, the nerves and guilt amping up as I tried to find what I needed to say.

I have to tell him... now. _I can't._

It's cruel to string him along with false hopes. _It's cruel either way._

Oh, God I can't tell him when he's looking at me like that. Those big, innocent, kind eyes shining with warmth and love. _Love..._

I swallowed thickly and tried to calm my racing heart. "Jake... I-I have something I want to say," I voiced lowly, my fingers continuously twisting under the table.

He regarded me for a minute before leaning forward, his elbows resting on the table with his hands clasped in front of him. "OK, but let me just say something first." I nodded my acquiesce, licking my rapidly drying lips.

"This is kind of embarrassing," he chuckled, scratching the side of his head. I smiled at him encouragingly, silently letting him know to continue.

"Well, it's just that I'm so happy I have you in my life again," he said seriously, looking me straight in the eye.

"I see everyone, they always have someone. I've been so happy since you came back. I almost can't imagine you not being around any more, you know?" I could feel my throat tightening with every word that came from his mouth. I felt cold and shaky, my pulse racing.

"I know you said that we were trying, but I wanted you to know I love spending time with you. Being able to kiss you whenever I want feels so right to me. I'm sure you've figured out by now that I see you as more than a friend.

"After my mom left, and then Dad's accident, life's been just that little bit empty. My sisters left for college and boyfriends, and I was left by myself to care for him. Don't get me wrong, I'd do anything for my father. It's just hard sometimes, you know?" I was a deer trapped in the headlights, frozen with fear and shame. His words were so sincere and painful. I was biting my tongue so hard I was sure I would draw blood, the rusty red liquid evidence of my deception.

"I guess what I'm trying to say is that you make me happy. I simply needed to say thank you for that." I could feel tears threatening to fall, my eyes misty, sightly blurred. I blinked the moisture back, the lump in my throat almost choking.

"Jake," I whispered, my voice shaky. "You know you are special to me, right? Your friendship means a lot to me." He titled his head ever so slightly to the side, a small smile playing at his lips.

"You're not getting all mushy on me too, are you?" he winked, drumming his fingers on the table in a staccato beat. "I think I've been a big enough girl for the both of us for one night." I chuckled lightly, shaking my head. _He could always make me laugh._

My nails were digging into my palm, crescent shapes marking my skin. The revelation hitting me full force.

He could never find out...

"So what was it you wanted to tell me?" I took a deep breath, the words playing themselves over and over in my head. _I only want to be friends._

"Just that I'm having a really nice time." I was a coward, deplorable. He rolled his eyes, completely ignorant to my inner turmoil. I didn't want to hurt him, and yet technically I already had. It was unbeknownst to him, and for now I had to keep it that way. We were surrounded by our neighbours and friendly faces. I didn't want his to be any different. I couldn't bare to strip away his smiles.

I could see no way out of the mess I had made, all exits were blocked. The usually helpful words printed on directing arrows were now distorted.

We continued to chat, Jacob telling me all about Quil's new girlfriend. Apparently Embry thought he was stupid to tie himself down at such a young age when he should be experiencing the "ladies." I couldn't help but laugh at that.

I spoke to him a little about school, but otherwise I mostly left him to do the talking. I was still panicking on the inside, unsure of what would happen now. I'd never set out to purposely hurt anyone, yet lately it seemed as if that's all I was doing.

I knew what Edward wanted from me, but I didn't know how to deal with these conflicting feelings. Would it really hurt anyone if I continued this _thing_ with Edward? Jake and I weren't technically dating, and we'd never fully discussed the exact status of our "relationship." We'd never said we couldn't see other people if we felt attracted to them... but then we'd never said we could either. I would be lying to everyone. What if I could keep it quiet, keep it a secret? Was that even what I truly wanted.

Edward would probably soon get bored with me and move on to another girl, someone with fuller breasts and perfectly conditioned hair. Someone like Tanya. I couldn't help the pangs of jealousy I would feel when her name was mentioned. He wasn't boyfriend material; he was unattainable. It was a purely physical connection. He'd chased me and acted out in typical boy behaviour. It was the classic playground shit. The boy would call you silly names and tell everyone you had cooties, which somehow meant he also liked you.

I saw it on one of the many shows my mother used to watch in the afternoons when she wasn't at one of her ever-changing hobbies. She'd "hmm" and "hah" and agree with every word the host said, often rattling off certain instances that had happened in her life during the commercials. I'd sit there on the sofa, homework in my lap and listen, always in awe and slightly nervous of her life so far. It used to make me sad when she brought up Charlie's name. My dad was loveable and would help anyone. He was never hasty to judge.

I often wished he'd find someone like my mother had. Phil was great for her, and I wanted someone like that for my dad. Although "someone" was probably too liberal. I'm sure he'd prefer a woman. He hadn't yet taken a fancy to any of the men in the town. I'm sure if he was that way inclined, he'd like Dr. Cullen. That would then make him my step father. That right there was an after school special just waiting to happen. I just wanted someone to make him smile. He didn't smile enough.

Jacob paid despite my refusal, saying it was his treat. I smiled and said my thanks, planning to leave money in the car somewhere without him noticing. The ride home was pretty quiet, my head still full of varying thoughts.

Jake left the engine running as I unfastened my seatbelt. I knew what he was going to do before he did it, and closed my eyes as he kissed me. I wanted to feel something powerful, anything, but I didn't. It was _nice_. Again, that word. _Nice_.

"Thank you for dinner," I told him after he pulled away.

"You're welcome. I'll see you this weekend?" he questioned, his eyes bright and happy.

"Sure," I answered simply, pushing open the door. He waited until I'd unlocked the front door before pulling from the driveway, a singular beep of his horn given upon his departure.

I closed the door behind me, my head lolling back to rest against the wood. I still hadn't checked the last message from Edward.

My phone was burning a hole in my pocket.

One particular thought kept bugging me throughout the whole car journey home: was I being too harsh to Edward?

The more I thought about it, the more confused I became. Did he really act that much differently from the majority of teenage boys out there?

I sighed and flipped the hall lights on and dumped my bag on the table, turning to hang my keys on the hook. Just as I was about to head upstairs to bed, a knock sounded at the door. I was sure it was Jake having forgotten to ask me something, so I didn't even think to check who it was before opening.

Edward didn't even give me a chance to speak before he pushed his way inside and crushed his mouth to mine. My hands moved to his chest, intent on pushing him away, but they somehow ended sliding around his neck to pull him closer.

I could feel myself melting further and further into him, the feel of his lips and tongue sending me deeper into the abyss of want, and need, and Edward.

"I knew you missed me," he murmured against my mouth, nipping at my bottom lip.

"Shut up," I responded, sliding my tongue into his mouth. The front door was still open, the sight us kissing visible for anyone to see if they bothered to look out their window or drive down the street.

"Edward," I gasped, moaning when he started trailing kisses down my neck.

"Mhmm," he responded, his face getting lower and lower.

"The door... close it." I was moving with him, not wanting any space between us. His lips were still on my neck as he kicked it shut, switching back to my lips as he turned us around, my back now flush against the door.

I was gasping and panting, shamelessly trying to rub myself against him. Then I realized what we were doing. Again.

"No, we need to talk," I breathed, my head falling forward to rest against his chest. He was breathing heavily into my ear, his hands dropping to my waist.

"Yeah, we do." He took a step back, his eyes smouldering and dark. I tried to catch my breath while gazing back at him, pulling my hands behind my back to avoid temptation.

"Do you think we could sit?" he asked, rubbing his hands through his hair.

"Yeah," I whispered, clearing my throat. I motioned for him to follow me upstairs, not wanting to turn the lights on in the lounge for someone to see. I knew Mrs. Clearwater looked out for me in the evenings. I'd caught her twice now peeking out of her window when sitting out on the porch to look at the stars.

I entered my room, turning on my lamp before going to draw the curtains. I waited until Edward had sat himself down on the window seat before choosing to settle on the edge of the mattress.

I waited for him to speak, not wanting to start, but after at least five minutes of nothing from either of us I knew I was going to have to speak first. I caught him raising his head in my periphery and knew this was it.

"I don't know why I'm doing this," I whispered, meeting his gaze. "I know who you are, and how you treat girls. I know that this is wrong, that my actions will hurt certain people if they find out." My eyes dropped to the floor, filled with anguish and guilt.

"I hate that I feel like this, that you make me feel this way. I mean, god, I didn't even think about the fact that Alice or Rose could have found us in the showers last weekend, or even worse, Esme could have returned home. How could I not think about that?" I shook my head and looked straight at him. "I told Jacob I'd _try._ I told him, and yet here I am with you. I was kissing you, again, not ten minutes later, and I liked it... _wanted_ it. I hate it, I really hate it."

His fingers were pinching the bridge of his nose, his feet tapping a random rhythm on the floor.

"Look, I wanted it to happen too, but I'm not sure what to say. I don't do relationships or feelings. I like sex and everything that comes with it. That shouldn't make me a bad person." He ran his hand though his hair, trailing down to rub at the back of his neck. "It wasn't supposed to happen again, but there is some weird fucking pull you seem to have over me. I wanted you to give in that first time, I don't know why, but it irritated me that you didn't like me. But I was supposed to forget about you, I'd won." I closed my eyes, at a loss for what to say.

"I'm selfish, I think of only me. And yes, I'm aware that I'm an asshole a lot of the time, so save yourself the hassle of telling me. I already know." His face was harsh, his gaze directed to the floor. His words were more directed at himself than at me.

I searched his face, pausing to take a deep breath. "I have no honest response to that, Edward," I replied slowly. "And I know I've said this before, but we aren't even friends. It's not right to have these physical wants from someone when a friendship may never even happen. Does that not bother you?"

He swallowed awkwardly, his Adam's apple bobbing. "You can't know that we won't ever be friends," he said with a shrug. "One day you may stop being that constant pain in my ass and I could stop wanting you for sexual favours." I didn't like his joking or appreciate his humour.

"No, you're right, I can't," I admitted, my face no doubt a mixture of emotions. "I have no idea how we even act with each other when we leave this room.

"You see, I have all these thoughts in my head everyday, and they don't leave. They're always there. I need to know what you're thinking," I whispered, silently pleading him with my eyes.

There was another brief pause of silence where we simply watched each other.

"I just know that I find you attractive. You irritate me beyond belief, but I know that probably works both ways," he added with a smirk.

"Do you know what the worst part is?" I asked softly. He shook his head curtly, evidently extremely uncomfortable with this conversation. "The worst part is that I don't know if I can fight it any more than you can. There's this... _thing_, this connection -" I trailed off, not knowing how to finish that sentence.

"You know, I once thought of you as a stubborn puzzle piece," I stated, quickly moistening my lips. "Nothing about the way you behave or speak fits with the other."

He frowned at me, his features a mixture of sadness and anger.

"Happiness doesn't seem to be on the menu here, Edward. It's only a matter of time before we all get hurt."

He stood, moving towards me to sit next to me on the bed. "We can have this, you know. No one would have to know." He sounded so sincere and sure of his words.

"But it isn't right, I don't want to lie to people," I answered, realizing my body was instinctively leaning closer to him.

"You can't deny it any more," he said, taking a hold of my hand to keep me in place.

"I bet you're loving this, aren't you?" I asked him, searching his eyes.

"Not particularly. I don't want to be feeling this any more than you do," he sighed. "But you're not always awful to be around. You're kind of spunky when you want to be, and have a great set of legs," he smiled, his eyes darting to my mouth. "We could be like friends... just the ones with benefits," he winked.

I wanted to tell him no, but that would have been another lie. "No one can know," I found myself saying. "I'm not like the girls at school. I won't fall at your feet and let you dictate anything thay _may_ happen."

"I didn't expect you to," he responded with a crooked smile.

"Good." I gazed back at him, the green of his eyes chaining me to him.

"Are you still seeing Jacob?" he blurted, his jaw now tense. I nodded, watching his thumb softly trail over my knuckles. _Would he still mess around with those other girls?_ "You know this isn't anything serious, right? Just physical," he stated, his fingers suddenly under my chin, tilting my head up. _There was my answer. _

I moved back and pulled my hand from his. "I know," I snapped. "This may actually be a good thing. Who knows, the more time I spend with you might increase my feelings for Jake." His nostrils were flaring, his lips parted and distracting.

"Yeah, like you said, who knows?" His mouth was suddenly back on mine, my hands grasping handfuls of hair. I tugged him forward and lost myself in his kisses.

I grew up with notions of fairy tales and princes, but in the real world, they didn't exist. People had families and mortgages, debt and cheating partners. There was heartbreak and misery. More and more people settled.

There wasn't a singular wicked witch to rule a kingdom, that would be too easy. There were poisonous apples at every turn. Everyone fell victim, it was just a matter of time.

In the Bible, the forbidden fruit was there to test you. It was there to separate the weak from the just and single out the coveter.

I'd tasted that fruit in the form of Edward Cullen.

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**Reviews will get a teaser for the next chapter. **

**I have a rec this week: 'For The Summer' by camoozle. I adore this story. You won't regret reading it. :)**

**Thanks so much for reading. VHL xxx**


	19. Chapter 19

**Hey everyone. This story has gone past the 1,000 review mark, which I didn't expect at all. I know it isn't a lot to some, but to me it really is. Thank you so much to everyone who has read and reviewed. I really appreciate it. Thank you for making me smile.**

**Thank you to my amazing beta SusanQ. One day I shall write her a love poem, or send her money or something. She is awesome. **

**Thanks to jedigirlsc for pre-reading and being the best pimp around. She does a lot for me. I have already told her I plan to steal her one day.**

**Thank you for all the lovely PMs this week. I had quite a few after I sent out the teaser. They are always nice to read.**

**I tried to send the teaser out to everyone, but I couldn't for the anonymous reviewers. If there was a way, I would have sent it.**

**Disclaimer: I still don't know why I do a disclaimer every week. I never read them myself. SM still owns Twilight and stuff. **

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Bella

I was floating, eyes closed, surrounded by warmth. Lips were at my throat, soft yet firm. There was noise...minimal, mostly breathless voices. One of them definitely belonging to me.

Hands were in rugged silk; grasping and pulling. My shirt was pulled open. Fingertips, soft like petals, trailing, flowing down skin. My back arched off the bed, trying to push myself closer to the hands on my chest.

"You have such beautiful skin," he whispered, his tongue tracing the swell of my breast not hidden by lace. My head lolled back against the pillows, my pulse taking flight throughout my previously weary body.

His palm was flat against my stomach, not moving, just _there_. I placed my hand on top of his, encouraging him to move, to _do_ something.

"Patience," he murmured against my covered breast, his lips brushing against my nipple in a feather like caress.

I opened my eyes and glared at him, hating that he was teasing me. I gave a particularly strong tug to his hair with my free hand, a hiss muffling against my skin. He pushed himself up on his elbows, his face now hovering over mine. He gazed down at me, eyes smouldering, a salacious smile forming at his lips.

"Something wrong?" he queried, his breath fanning across my face. He looked almost _amused_ as he waited for my reply.

I closed my mouth with an audible snap, my teeth lightly grinding together as I stubbornly refused to give him an answer.

I would not beg for anything.

My hands loosened themselves from his hair, dropping heavily to the mattress beneath me. I took a deep breath, ignoring the ache between my legs and instead focused my attention on the fully stocked bookcase to my left.

"Is there something you want to say, Bella?" he breathed against my ear. His lips skimmed down to my jaw, shivers immediately attacking my body.

I shook my head, my fingers digging into my sheets as the urge to shift against him continued to grow and grow. His mouth was back on mine, lips brushing in soft strokes. I lifted my head slightly from the pillows, trying to create more pressure in his kiss, lips seeking their partner.

He pulled away again, not granting me my desire. My hand tightened its grip on his, my breathing laboured as I stared defiantly back at him.

His cheeks were flushed, eyes intense and framed by dark lashes. His features were beautiful, unusual to see, his whole look unconventional. I knew he was tormenting me, just like he always had. He was testing me, looking for a particular reaction.

I decided to play him back at his own game.

I licked my lips, my hands coming to rest on my stomach. My palm slowly drifted upwards, pausing at the thin straps belonging to my bra. His eyes were still locked on mine as I slowly slid it from my shoulder, my fingertips trailing across my collarbone to repeat the action on the other side.

Whenever Edward was with me like this, my shyness seemed to disappear like that of a magician's trick, leaving nothing behind but a puff of smoke.

His lips were parted, red from our kisses. I bit my lip as I reached behind me, hands meeting at the metal clasp. Three flicks and I was bare from the waist up, the lacy material flung in an unseen direction. His green gaze tore a path from my face to my chest, his mouth now closed, his jaw tense.

It was a war of restraint and wild need. He liked to initiate every action between us, not fond of being left out in the cold to wander listlessly in uncertainty. The constant internal questioning became draining over time, the mind fighting to stay in control of the physical cravings that plagued the body.

It was a question of whose last thread was going to snap first.

The muscles in his arms were straining against the sleeves of his shirt. It wasn't fair that he was still clothed. I wanted to feel his skin upon mine, drive him to the insanity he provoked within me all the time.

My fingers found the skin where his shirt had ridden up, teasing at the waistband of his jeans. His breathing hitched as I traveled over the light smattering of hair below his navel, his nostrils flaring slightly.

"Is there something you want to say, Edward?" I asked, using his own words against him. The tick in his jaw showed his irritation, his patience wearing thin like that of a favoured old shirt that was now worn and hole ridden.

His tongue came out to swipe at his bottom lip, a long exhale given. I began pushing his shirt upwards, sliding it up his back, my intent clear. He pulled away long enough to pull it over his head, discarding it on the bottom of the mattress with my forgotten purse.

He was smirking at me as I took in his shirtless form, my hands running along his arms. He lowered himself, bringing himself closer, the heat from his chest emanating to mine.

We continued to stare, the silence poignant. I moved my hand to my chest, fingers tracing my breast. I closed my eyes and sighed, my palm teasing my nipple. I was taunting him, showing him I wouldn't be letting him control this. I was also a little embarrassed doing this in front of him, but I was determined not to let that show.

My hand was suddenly wrenched away, now pinned beside my head. My eyes shot open, meeting lust and anger and what looked to be disbelief. It became more and more evident just how used he was to doing his own thing. He was independent and private which most likely added to this need to keep his cards close to his chest. He could pull a good poker face.

"I don't think so, Bella," he said, his tone clipped. I arched my back, my chest brushing against his in the process. My teeth grazed his bottom lip, giving it a small bite before sucking it into my mouth.

Something akin to a growl resonated from his chest as he crushed his mouth to mine, lips resolute. I opened my mouth to him, tongues battling, velvet and warm. His free hand was kneading my breast, fingers teasing.

My hands found their favourite place - in his hair. I pulled and grasped, moans slipping from his mouth as I did so. His fingers were suddenly at the button of my jeans, the zip soon tugged down.

He pulled his mouth from mine, watching me as he teased me though my underwear. My mouth formed an "O" shape as he slid a finger under the waistband, exploring my swollen nub.

"Oh God," I gasped, biting down on my bottom lip. His eyes held a twinkle, a satisfaction. He dipped his head to capture my left nipple, circling it with his tongue.

"These need to come off," he mumbled against my skin, tugging on my the material of my jeans for emphasis. He pulled back and rested on his knees as he grasped the waistband in his hands. I lifted my lower half from the mattress, feeling the heat in my cheeks as I realized I would be naked apart from a pair of panties.

I watched as denim soon gave way to pale skin, my legs bare from clothing. He was following the movement of his hands with his eyes as his palms slid past my knees to my thighs, opening my legs further for him to rest in between. He was hard, the bulge in his own jeans pressing just where I wanted him. He was shifting against me, my legs wrapped around his waist as I pushed back.

His lips were at my jaw again and I was lost. Lost in him, in his warmth, in the goosebumps that attacked my skin. I wanted everything. I wanted his hands and mouth on all available parts of my body. It was too much and never enough, all at the same time. It was dizzying and breathless and so fucking good.

"Do you still have those condoms, Bella?" he asked. My movements slowed as my brain processed his words. _Fuck._ He didn't know...and I wasn't ready for that. Why hadn't I realized that he'd want to? Did I really want to experience this with him? Did I want to give him the one thing that could never be given back?

His hips halted their own movement, his expression confused as he pulled his head back to gaze down at me. I didn't want to tell him. What would he think? Would he care?

"What's wrong?" he asked, brows furrowed. I shook my head quickly, pulling his lips back to mine before he could question me any further. I could tell he wasn't with me, his mind no doubt replaying his words.

"Are you OK?" he queried again after a few seconds. He was watching me closely, waiting for my reply. The room was quiet, uncomfortable. I opened my mouth to respond but was cut off by my phone vibrating somewhere on the bed.

If this was any other time, I would have ignored it, but it wasn't, and I was looking for an out. I took it.

"I have to answer that," I told him, pushing on his shoulders to get him to let me up. He groaned, flopping down to the mattress on his back, his hands rubbing his face. His arousal was still evident, my eyes glued to it like that of a man spotting a fountain in the Sahara. Except this was no mirage, it was real and within touching distance and I quite literally wanted to touch it.

"Are you going to get that, or are you planning to continue staring at my dick all night?" His right brow was raised, a smile playing at his lips. I tore my gaze away from him, reaching forward to grab my phone.

_Charlie._ I'd forgotten to let him know I'd arrived home safely. _Shit_.

I quickly wrapped a sheet around my body, glancing behind me when I felt a hand at my shoulder. "Who is it?" he voiced, a yawn escaping his mouth.

"Charlie," I answered lowly, feeling the guilt start to set once more. He looked slightly panicked as he sat up, his hands toying with my throw.

I took a deep breath and pressed accept. "Hi, Dad."

"Hey kiddo, you got home alright?" his easy words betrayed the hint of worry in his voice.

"Yeah, I'm fine," I assured him. "I'm sorry I forgot to text you. I was tired and headed straight to bed. It completely slipped my mind." I clutched the sheet tighter to my chest, my fist twisting itself into the cotton. I could feel Edward's eyes on me.

"I figured as much," he replied, the gruff sound of him clearing his throat traveling down the line. "Well, I'll let you get some sleep. Night Bella."

"Night Dad." I ended the call, juggling the phone between my palms. The room felt awkward again. So much had happened today. I was tired, my thoughts bouncing back and forth like that of a game of ping-pong. I was the ball, spiraling from one side to the other.

I dropped my phone to the mattress, standing to grab a randomly discarded t-shirt from the bed post.

I suddenly wanted to be covered.

I slipped it over my head, smoothing down the invisible creases. I ran my hands through my hair, wincing slightly at the few small tangles that had transpired. I chanced a glance at Edward who was sitting stiffly on the edge of the bed, hands hung between his knees as he studied me. I gnawed my bottom lip, feeling uncomfortable with his scrutiny.

"I think you should go now," I told him, "we've got school in the morning, so I need to get some sleep." He stood and stretched his arms above his head, my eyes following their natural path down his torso. _Hello, happy trail. _

I almost gave it a wink_. _

It was like my own personal yellow brick road, I just wouldn't encounter a wizard at the end of it. There would, however, be a "wand".

"Like what you see?" he asked with a teasing smile as he walked towards me. I instinctively took a step backwards, knowing my resolve would crumble if he came too close. I would be able to feel his warmth, touch his skin, look into sinful green. I would - in simple terms - be screwed. Not literally...I didn't think. At least not yet. Maybe never...well not _never_ as I do want to do that, just not yet. And maybe not with him. Oh my god, I'm so screwed.

"Not particularly," I replied, my voice airy and disinterested. I was so full of shit.

"Uh huh," he responded with a knowing smirk. I rolled my eyes and threw his shirt at him, laughing when it collided with his face. He scowled at me as his hands awkwardly managed to catch it before it hit the ground. He quickly put it on, his hair more wayward than usual. I was still laughing at his disgruntled face when the most dangerous of smiles tugged at the corner of his lips. _Well fuck me... again, not literally._

"No," I warned, taking another step back. "I'm tired." We were always playing some game of cat and mouse, and tonight was no different.

"Always running," he mused, stalking around the edge of the bed towards me. My heart was pounding, my body was betraying me. I was excited.

I glanced behind me to the door, wondering if I could make it in time. I was slowly being backed to the wall where there would be no escape. His smile grew as he got closer, teeth white and the hint of his tongue, pink.

I had to think fast, so I did the first thing that popped into my head. I dived onto the bed, attempting to scramble over to the other side away from his advance. His hands were at my ankles, body climbing over mine. I was pinned beneath him, laughing breathlessly.

"Ugh, get off me," I moaned in fake irritation, a smile on my face, my hands on his chest. His eyes were alight. I'd say he looked almost _happy._

"Do you always look so _smiley_ when you trap innocent girls on their beds?" I asked with a raised brow. His eyes flitted to the side as he laughed lightly.

"Not always," he responded with a small shrug. I was staring at his hair, counting all the different shades. I'd so far tallied five.

"So you do this a lot, huh?" I questioned dropping my gaze back to his face. He turned his eyes back towards me, hands still beside my head.

"No," he answered simply. We continued to study each other silently, internal questions brimming like that of tears. I wanted to ask him why. I wanted to ask him who he _had _done this with. I wanted to find out why I even cared so much in the first place.

"I didn't know I was so special," I teased, placing a hand to my chest in fake delight. He leaned forward, his lips hovering over mine.

"You're not," he whispered in a serious tone, his mouth pulling away without touching mine. He heaved himself from the bed, bending down to pull on his shoes.

I stared at his back as he tied his laces, trying not to let the words affect me. I would have to remind myself that this wasn't going to be sweetness and flowers. It would be impersonal. I shrugged the feeling off and climbed to my feet, walking to the bedroom door, leaving it open behind me as I descended the stairs. I heard him following me, but I didn't look back. I paused at the front door, the porch light shining a beam of burnt orange into the hallway, acting as some sort of weird spotlight as he stepped into the space. I wrapped my arms around my waist, not knowing where to look.

"I guess I'll see you tomorrow, then?" he sighed, stepping closer. I nodded, removing my hands from around my body to open the latch. I grasped the handle, opening it slightly, ready for him to leave.

I looked up, momentarily meeting his gaze before circling my hand out in front of me, signaling to the now open door. I could feel his gaze linger on me for a few more seconds before he brushed past me out onto the porch.

I didn't wait for anything else. No "goodnight" or half-committed waves.

I closed the door after him, snapping the latch back into place. I flipped the switch to the outside light, darkness boxing us both in as we respectively broke apart for yet another day.

OoOoO

The drive to school had been a quiet one. I was sat next to Alice who had her head lazily resting on Jasper's shoulder. He was reading from his history textbook as he was prone to do when in a peaceful mood. Em was focusing on the road, Rose humming softly next to him with her earphones in. I simply watched the blurring images from the window, fighting the urge to close my eyes against the dizzying flashes.

"I think tonight calls for a game night," Em stated as he jumped from the Jeep. The parking lot was full of noise and students, moving cars and briskly walking staff. "I want to play Monopoly and own all your asses."

"I'm not sure which version you play, but the one I have at home doesn't involve any asses. Human derrières, or donkeys for that matter," I added as an afterthought.

"Bella Swan the comedian, everyone," Jasper laughed. "She'll be here all week."

"Try _year_," I said, shoving him playfully. He threw his arm around my shoulders, bringing Alice into our hug with his other arm. I smiled as I pulled away, hitching my bag higher up my arm as it began to slip.

"I want to play Battleship," Jazz announced with a wiggle of his eyebrows towards Alice.

"You want me to sink your battleship?" Alice asked with an innocent smile that was meant to be anything but. I rolled my eyes and left them to their flirting banter, laughing at Rose who was trying to sort out Em's tie.

Everyday there was something wrong with it. The knot was either too big or too small. The tie was wonky or too tight. Rose would straighten it out for him sometime before first period, and Em would always put on a fake whiny voice telling her it was fine. I was positive he did it on purpose. As soon as Rose would focus her attention on fixing it, he would look down at her with his dimpled smile that exuded an affection I'd yet to know or receive.

I left the couples to their conversations, knowing I'd see Jasper first period in history anyway. I spotted Angela walking over to Ben who had just pulled into the lot himself. We gave each other a brief wave, the smile on her face mimicking my own. She and Ben had gone on their first official date alone last night, and I could tell she was dying to talk to someone about it.

I was sure I wouldn't be getting much work done in math today.

I made my way up the remaining steps to the main entrance, squeezing past students congregated by the doors.

The first few classes flew by, most filled with chatter and giggles. Our history teacher had been out sick, leaving a substitute to fill his place. There was no lesson plan left, so we were told to read from our textbooks quietly. That never happened, and not surprisingly, the teacher didn't seem to mind that much. It was obviously as much of a free period for him as it was for us. I swear he was texting someone the whole lesson. Whenever I'd look up, there he'd be with his silver cell in his hands, a toothy grin on his face. He didn't even try to hide the fact he didn't give a shit what we did. I actually kind of liked him. Jasper, however, was the only student who seemed disappointed our regular teacher was out. It wouldn't surprise me if he spent his lunch hour making him a "get well soon" card.

I was right about Angela wanting to talk. As soon as I stepped into the room, she was all shining eyes and big smiles. They lasted the whole lesson. Ben had kissed her for the first time last night. She'd been wanting to plant one on him for a while, but was too shy to make the first move herself. Then last night he'd kissed her outside the bowling alley before driving her home. They'd apparently spent the whole journey to her house exchanging shy glances.

I'd give it a few weeks until she pounced on him. She was passionate about the things she liked, and she liked Ben. It was a no-brainer.

I managed to get in the lunch queue pretty swiftly. I was able to grab a nice salad that hadn't wilted or been knocked about. There was also cake. I took that chocolatey goodness too. Even my favoured bottle of lemonade was chilled. It was pretty much win in the food department today. If the lunch ladies had been mildly attractive, or you know, if I was a lesbian, I would have kissed them. However, the one at the cash register had greying, frizzy hair and a suspect looking mole on her face... well I'm assuming it was a mole, it actually resembled more of a Rice Krispie. If I knew that shit wouldn't freak me out, I would have picked up one of the plastic sporks and tried and see if it snapped, crackled and popped. _Warning, appetite diminishing. You have cake dumb-ass. Don't let it go to waste. That kid with the greasy hair is staring at it. He wants it. He looks like he has grabby hands. Never trust a boy with grabby hands. _Wise words, wise words. _Although, grabby hands can be pretty damn good if they touch the right places..._

I didn't know how long I'd been in my "Willy Wonka and the Finger Factory" daydream, but the lunch lady was looking at me with her hand outstretched. _Oh shit, money._ I paid her and walked away, feeling like I'd just given a cut to my pimp after a night on the town. Damn my gutter mind.

Alice was already at our usual table, tucking into her own lunch. I pulled out the chair next to her, dumping my tray down before sitting. I noticed, she too, had the chocolate cake.

"Hmm, B," she said around a mouthful of food before swallowing. "I was thinking about Halloween this weekend and what movies to watch. Any preferences?"

I unscrewed the lid to my lemonade, thinking. "Not really. I'm fine with whatever." She nodded, grabbing her cake. "I got invited to another party just before lunch. The third one today. I hate this holiday," she said with a frown, cutting off a big piece of frosting. "I mean, what's so great about it anyway?" I hid my smile, knowing the exact reason for her dislike. Jasper had mentioned it last week. Imagining a young Alice as Cousin Itt had sent me into a fit of giggles.

Em, Jazz and Rose filed in together about ten minutes later, Em looking sullen as he sat.

"What's wrong, Brother Bear?" I asked while pushing my salad away to grab my dessert. I picked up my spork, momentarily freezing when I saw Em eyeing my tray. Rosalie spoke first.

"He's upset because they've run out of cake. All they have left is jello." She rolled her eyes and picked up half of her sandwich, looking randomly around the room as she ate.

Jazz was shaking his head smiling, looking back and forth between me and Emmett. I sighed, biting my lip as I looked at my friend's face. "Here, you can have half of mine. I'm pretty full, so I'm sure I won't be able to finish it all by myself anyway." I was lying, I would have practically inhaled this bad boy.

His face lit up like a tree at Christmas, demeanour instantly changed. "Are you sure Bella?" he asked, already holding out his plate. I couldn't help but smile.

I cut the cake as best I could, giving him the smaller half. I mean, I wasn't _that_ generous. "You know I adore you, right?" he told me with a wink. I winked back, laughing when he waggled his brows at me.

"I know," I answered. "Now eat your cake."

We fell into movie talk, Alice adamant that she wouldn't be answering the door to any kids this year.

"You're like the Scrooge of Halloween," Rose commented. "You're seriously not going to hand out any candy?" Alice shook her head, arms folded stubbornly across her chest.

"Nope," she answered with an air of finality. I licked frosting from my lips, waving my spork in her direction.

"I thought you liked kids?" I voiced, confused at her attitude.

"Oh, I used to," she sighed wistfully. "But then I learned that they're all evil." I coughed, holding my napkin to my face so I didn't give anyone a spit show.

"Alice had a run in with a group of ghouls last year," Jazz whispered. It obviously wasn't low enough as Alice glared at him. He rubbed her back before turning back to me. "She got cement bombed."

I furrowed my brows, not understanding what he meant by that.

"It's a balloon filled with flour and water. Sets like cement," Rose clarified. I suddenly understood why Alice had the frown on her face. I bit my lip, trying not to laugh as the image of a disgruntled Alice covered in the horrible substance popped into my head.

"I'm sorry," I said, hiding my smile. I just couldn't help it. I laughed. She gave me a playful frown, throwing one of the fries from Jazz's plate at me.

"It's not funny."

"It's a little funny," I countered. She stuck her tongue out to me before filling her mouth a with fistful of Jasper's fries.

"Oh Grandma, what a big mouth you have," I laughed. When I really thought about it, Disney movies had some very suggestive phrases for a newly found pervert like myself. I felt dirty again. _Perhaps I should get up and give Rice Krispie face some more money?_

"You should be thankful I'm not your grandma. I'd torture you by perming your hair or something equally awful. Maybe give you a purple rinse."

"Like you'd be able to catch me. I'd take away your walking stick, or diamanté encrusted walker, because you would _have_ to decorate it," I said, spinning my bottle on the table.

"Naturally," she winked.

"Can we stop talking about Granny Alice now, it doesn't set a nice picture in my head," Jazz groaned, wrinkling his nose.

"Fine, you can be Hansel, and I'll be the witch who lures you to the house made of candy" she laughed, kissing his cheek.

"Fine, but only if you you're a semi-slutty witch," he pouted, fiddling with the buttons on her shirt.

"Please, Em would get there before you and eat the whole place," Rose laughed, blowing Em a kiss.

I glanced at the clock, laughing, surprised at the time. "I better head off to biology," I sighed. "I've got to collect my books from my locker. I'll see you guys later."

I dodged an ass slap from Jasper, flipping him the bird covertly behind my back. From the tinkling laughter that followed, I knew that Alice had seen it.

The hallways were still pretty empty as I made my way to my locker. I hated the colour on the walls in this part of the school. They were a dingy yellow and made the place look dirty. The clean freak in me wanted to get a bucket of hot, soapy water and attack the place with a scrubbing brush.

As I got closer, a couple caught my eye. They were pressed against each other, their voices low. Then I saw _that _head of hair. The same head of hair that I'd had my hands in last night. They were standing only a few lockers down from mine. I wanted to turn around and forget about school and books. Forget the way she was sticking out her chest and twirling her hair. Forget that he wasn't doing anything to discourage her actions. I wanted to forget that this bothered me.

I purposely ignored them as I passed. I didn't make any indication that I'd seen them. I didn't look when her fake laughter rang in my ears. I didn't turn my head to see if they were watching me as I entered the combination. I gathered my books in my arms. I closed the metal door softly. I smiled when my phone beeped. I laughed quietly when I read the joke Jake had sent me. I ignored them as I passed again. I didn't forget they were there.

My books dropped to the desk, startling the girl sitting in front of me. I gave her an apologetic smile; she hadn't done anything to me. Neither had the desk for that matter, but I wasn't about to apologize to a piece of furniture. Was I angry? Was I jealous? Was I a hypocrite? I was, for all pretenses, still with Jake. Granted I wouldn't be doing anything of a physical nature with him, but did that mean Edward couldn't with Tanya? He seemed to like her. I had made my decision. I either had to accept it, or end the whole thing.

I hated that there was only one answer screaming at me in my head. Edward strolled into the room with a bored expression, the sleeves to his shirt rolled up, exposing his arms. He had a faint build up of stubble on his jaw today; I wanted to see what it felt like against my lips.

I closed my eyes and shook my head, trying to dislodge my thoughts. I felt him behind me, my body tense and alert.

"Afternoon Isabella," he whispered in my ear, his chin momentarily resting on my shoulder. He pulled out his stool, angling his body to face me as he sat.

"Yeah, hi," I answered, not turning to look at him. I stared at the board at the front of the room, blindly reading words left over from the previous lesson.

"I thought we'd gotten past this," he sighed, resting his head in his hand, his elbow balanced on the desk.

"Past what?" I asked, flipping through the pages of my textbook.

"The moods, the ignoring." My eyes narrowed at his words.

"Ignoring would imply I'm not talking. I'm speaking to you, am I not?" I said coolly, stopping at the required page for today's lesson.

"But you're in a mood," he stated, tapping my hand with his pen. I finally glanced over at him, a humorous smile on his lips.

"Look, just because I let you feel me up doesn't mean I have to have fun filled chit-chat with you," I hissed lowly, my eyes flitting around the room to make sure no one was listening.

He gasped exaggeratedly, his hand flying to his chest. "You only want me for my body?"

I raised a brow. "Isn't that what we're doing here, scratching an itch?"

"Well, yeah," he answered slowly.

"Exactly. Discussion over." Mr. Banner came into the room, his loud, jolly voice silencing the rest of us still talking.

I felt irritable. I wanted to go home and watch bad TV. I wanted to drag Edward from the room and kiss him in the front seat of his car. I wanted him to _want_ to kiss me in his car and take me home to watch TV. I wanted something I couldn't have.

I crossed my arms on the desk in front of me and lay my head down. I hoped the hour would pass quickly.

OoOoO

I watched as the dust particles soared through the golden sunlight, the warm tones comforting. They caught my eye, glinting like diamond dust.

The music room was my solace in this house. We were waiting for Edward to come home. He wasn't answering his phone, but he'd apparently agreed to spend game night with us. Alice had been getting impatient waiting for him so she was killing time by making home-made pizza in the kitchen with Jasper. Rose was kicking Em's ass at some computer game in the den. Their raised voices sounded like humming from this part of the house. I could see Esme tending to the garden through the glass wall. She had a sun hat on her head and her comical gloves on her hands. She was the picture of the perfect housewife. The scene could have filled the pages of any magazine out there. I never used to think women like this existed. I'd look at the colourful pages wondering, who actually lived like that? I'd found that it was always easier to think of the impossibilities than the possibilities.

I lay back on the chaise, my eyes closing as I got comfy. I didn't know how long I'd been resting there before I heard someone enter the room. I was drowsy, my eyes fluttering open. Then I heard random notes being hit. I didn't have to sit up to know who it was. Only one person would touch the piano. _His_ piano.

A song started up, the music slow and soft, threatening to make me sleepy once more. It was beautiful. Each note was purposeful, saying something to him, yet also saying something _about_ him. This was a piece of him. I knew he'd be angry if he found me here listening. I dared not move. I was breathing quietly despite the rapid beating inside my chest. I knew it was wrong to hide like this. He couldn't see me. The high backing prevented it.

Esme was still in the garden, closer than before. I was scared she would give me up if she looked this way. She would undoubtedly wave with a smile on her face, and I would have to wave back. He would see, there would be no way he could _not_. I was torn, knowing if I was in his position, I would hate someone listening to something private. There was a reason he closed himself off in here by himself, a reason why this room was separate from the main reception rooms. I was unintentionally taking advantage. I found myself, however wrong it may have been, not wanting to leave. I wanted to fall asleep to the sounds around me and let the notes encase me like a lullaby.

The second piece he played was faster in tempo. It was almost bordering on manic. It was fast and wild and I had to stop my leg from trying to bounce along to the rhythm. My heart was racing to the beat, excited by the music and afraid of being found out.

His playing abruptly stopped, replaced with the ringing of his phone.

"Hello," he answered. I could hear him moving about the room and held my breath. Esme had thankfully disappeared from sight now. I was relieved. If I couldn't see her, she surely couldn't see me.

"I'm already home," he sighed, tinkling on a few keys. "I had shit to do." _Or someone._ "In the music room." I froze. Shit. Was he was speaking to someone already in the house? _Alice._

"_Really_," he voiced, his tone taking on a slight edge. "I'll be sure to pass that message along." Pass what on to who? Perhaps it wasn't Alice and I was being paranoid. The call ended, the click signifying that.

I breathed a sigh of relief when he started playing again, although the music was now random notes and nothing serious. I felt less anxious.

That feeling lasted about thirty seconds.

"Bella, Alice wanted me to tell you the pizza was ready." My eyes opened wide, nervous. _Double shit._

Did I call his bluff and try and hide...somewhere? That idea showed itself to be stupid when I realized I wasn't 'Double-oh-I-am-a-bad-ass-agent-seven'.

I heard him sigh rather loudly, then the inevitable footsteps followed. I closed my eyes and pretended I was hidden under the covers in my own bed. I always used to do that as a child. Any time I was scared, I would hide under my duvet and believe myself to be safe. No one would see me. That logic now seemed so crazy.

My right eye cracked open to see his unsmiling face staring down at me. "Hi," I whispered. That's all I could think to say. My brain was such a hater sometimes.

"What are you doing in here?" he asked, his fingers digging into the back of the chaise. "You could have left." I nodded. He was right, I could have.

"I know," I told him, my cheeks flushing with shame. "I'm sorry." He continued to stare at me, his anger seeming to grow by the second.

"You get what you wanted?" I frowned, not knowing what he was referring too. "You were listening, right? It's not like you were asleep this whole time."

"I was... sort of, well, before you came in, anyway," I answered truthfully. "You're really good. Really talented. I had no idea."

He ran his hand through his hair, momentarily gripping the front. "I don't usually play in front of an audience, so how could you?" he snapped.

I winced, the anger of his words directed at me. "What were they?" I asked after an uncomfortable minute. He looked confused, so I continued, "The pieces you were playing?"

He shrugged. "Just a few things I've been working on." I was shocked, my jaw open.

"Don't look so surprised," he mumbled, making me automatically feel guilty.

"Sorry," I said, looking at my hands on my stomach.

"Yeah, you've said that already."

"I know... I just, I am." He licked his lips, hands moving to his pockets.

"Whatever, it's fine. Well, it's not fine, but it's done now, so I guess... yeah."

His phone rang again, his irritation still evident as he looked at the screen. I sat up and did something I didn't want to do. I grabbed his wrist, bringing his phone closer to me. I wanted to know who was calling him. Was it Alice again? Was it Ben? No, it was neither. I looked back to his face, my hand still on his skin.

"You're not answering that?" I questioned. His jaw was set, his eyes were dark. I wanted to pull him on top of me so he'd forget about his phone, forget the person who was calling him. I tried to keep my face blank and not show the jealousy that was bubbling inside my chest. I'm sure it was similar to the angry hiss you received when opening a can of soda.

"I'm sure Tanya will leave a message if it's important," he answered.

I didn't know how it happened or who had made the first move, but I had gotten my wish. His body was covering mine, his weight familiar. My hands were once again in his hair, his were on my ribs, moving up. He was kissing my neck, nips and warmth and tongue. He was kissing my chest, pulling the edge of my top to kiss between my breasts. He didn't kiss my lips. He wouldn't kiss my mouth. I wanted him to.

He was hard between my legs, I was encouraging him even more. I was rubbing and shifting, my hands at his neck as he bit my right nipple through the fabric of my shirt. His hands were pulling my shirt up, exposing my stomach. His lips were there, moving down, heading towards his fingers that were at the button to my jeans. He was... oh... _oh_.

"Edward, we can't. Not here," I breathed. "No one's ever done that to me before." He looked up at me, cheeks flushed pink, breaths heavy. I was going against my body. I wanted to feel his stubble on my thighs. So much. However, his family was here... my friends. Esme could still be in the garden. _Oh shit, Esme._

I looked to the side, my eyes scanning the garden. She wasn't there. Her gloves were on the lawn with a trowel, but she wasn't. She'd be back though, those items made sure of it. Had she seen anything? I didn't see the gloves there before... but then I wasn't looking as hard. I wasn't as panicked, which I hadn't thought possible at the time.

"Jesus, Bella," he groaned, his forehead resting on the bare skin of my stomach. I pulled him back up to me, pushing my chest against his.

My hands were under his shirt, moving up and down his back, exploring. We had to stop before it went too far, before we got caught.

The decision was made for us.

The door opened, Jazz's voice startling us both. "Edward?" I didn't think he would be able to see us, not from where he was standing, but if he were to walk forward, if he looked to his left, he would see. He would see my hands on skin that didn't belong to me. He would see my top pushed up, my jeans undone. He would see Edward on top of me... not Jacob as would be expected, but his best friend. I stopped breathing.

Edward was staring right at me, eyes locked on my face. Neither of us moved, both unsure, frozen. The door closed again, Jasper's voice still ringing out. I sucked in a needed breath. I could feel the beat of Edward's heart against my chest, just like I'm sure he could feel mine.

"Do you think?" I asked, not able to finish my sentence. He shook his head, assuring me to something he couldn't be sure of.

He looked nervous, guilty, or was I just seeing my own reflection in his eyes? My fingers stroked through his hair, down the sides of his face to his light stubble. I liked the feel of it against my sensitive fingertips.

My lips sought out the skin there, trailing soft kisses. I liked the feel of it on my lips too. I pulled away, hands dropping to my sides, eyes on his face. He was frowning, his breaths still shaky, maybe even more so.

"We better go," I whispered, swallowing heavily.

He nodded. "Yeah.

We both stood, we both straightened ourselves out. I quickly pushed down my shirt and secured my button. Edward tamed his hair and smoothed out his t-shirt. I wanted to mess them both back up again.

He waited behind as I left. He would follow me out after a few minutes had passed. We would both leave separately, not together. Never together.

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**Reviews will get a teaser for the next chapter. Do you play an instrument?**

**I have a couple of recs this week. **

**'Fuggiasco' by kdc2239 and 'The Cullen Campaign' by belladonna1472. Both stories can be found in my favourites. I love them.**

**Come follow me on twitter if you get bored: (at)vampshavelaws. Also, go play on the EE thread. Link is on my profile. Discuss whatever you want. I'll be posting extra teasers there too. ;)**

**Thank so much for reading. VHL xxx**


	20. Chapter 20

**Hey everyone. Firstly, I want to thank you all for being so patient. I didn't mean for the chapter to be so late.**

**Thank you to everyone who continues to read and review. I really appreciate it.**

**Thanks to Jedigirlsc for pre-reading. She is awesome. Also, thanks to Ali for all her help.**

**Thanks to my amazing beta SusanQ for her continued help. She makes everything look pretty.**

**I don't receive all review alerts to my email account, which is really annoying. And some of you don't accept PM's, so I'm really sorry to whomever I couldn't send a teaser to. If there is some other way to send them, please let me know.**

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer still owns Twilight and all its characters.**

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Edward

I dropped to the chaise, my head immediately falling to my upturned palms. I was out of my depth, drowning in the sea of unknown. Things had been getting far too comfortable with Bella. Needless to say, it'd been making me uneasy. I found myself wanting to sit with my family at lunch just to hear her laugh. I wanted to call her at random times in the night to tease her. I wanted things that I shouldn't want.

No one had gotten to me like this before, ever. I didn't understand my emotions... couldn't get a hold on them to force them to speak. They weren't strong and they weren't weak, they were, however, constant. They never made sense, never formed words, they simply came to me in burnings and tingles and shit that made me want to punch something.

My remedy to cure this "illness" had been to distance myself a little more in terms of talking to her, getting to know her. If I kept it physical and treated her like I would any other girl, I would be fine. But the truth was, she was different, and not because I thought her special, just because she was her own person who made her own choices and didn't act towards me like the other girls in school. In fact, where I had first hated that she seemed indifferent to me and gave me snarky replies, I now found myself liking being able to make her bite back. Her fire and passion were just one of the things that attracted me to her. I was scared that if I allowed myself to dig deeper into the person she was, I would be unable to climb back out.

I wasn't reliant on anyone, and I wasn't about to start now. I shouldn't - and didn't - need anyone else to fill with me happiness or hopes that would eventually end and leave behind devastation when it all fell apart.

I'd seen it in movies and strangers in the park. I had a friend, Caius, back in Chicago who had been obsessed with his girlfriend. She broke his heart by sleeping with his best friend, Peter. They say young "love" is the hardest to be in and then lose. I found that sentence easier to believe after I saw him change. His grades dropped, he was forever getting into trouble, and didn't bat an eyelid when he did something out of character. He was trying to show that he didn't care, and yet his actions contradicted that in so many ways. If he hadn't have cared, he wouldn't have changed. He would have been the same friend who liked to play Mario on the Xbox on weekends and hang around the park with his skateboard after school. Feelings and relationships were too confusing and stressful, and I didn't want any of it. I made sure to repeat this to myself at least twice a day.

I thought it was working. I hoped it was working.

I pinched the bridge of my nose and closed my eyes, squeezing them tightly against the brightness in the room. I licked my lips, tasting the leftover strawberry flavour of whatever Bella had put on her mouth and took a deep breath.

I left the room to go spend time with the family and do something I was good at. I went to play a few more games. The only difference this time being, these games had boards and moving pieces.

OoOoO

The wide-screen TV before me had some fashion shit on with some overly thin woman spouting off some random designer information. Like anyone actually gave a shit what she had to say, they were probably too busy staring at her fake rack and how her tits seemed too big in proportion to her body. I took a look to my left and saw Laurent actually _listening_ with rapt attention, a spliff burning away in his hand.

Well maybe _one_ person liked this show.

Laurent's aunt's house was pretty extravagant to say the least. My parents had a fair amount of money from years of hard work and family wealth, but this place was like a palace or some shit. From the outside it looked just like the other houses on the street, but the inside was where the difference could be found.

There were lots of gold ornaments and fixtures, dark brown wooden furniture and even black carpet. Like, who the fuck actually chose to have black carpet in their house, not to mention the room that was basically a giant cushion. The whole floor was covered in them, ranging from large to small, square to round. The entire space was encased by these sheer curtain things that were wrapped around a metal frame that hung from the ceiling. You were trapped in silk and overly bright furnishings. It wouldn't surprise me if some half-naked woman came out of nowhere and started feeding you grapes while you laid back and tried not to stare at her ass.

It was Saturday, Halloween, the holiday where you dressed in ripped jeans and fake blood, or if you happened to be a girl around here, hardly any clothing at all. It was like free reign to look like a hooker or something. Not that I've ever complained about it, it's just a fact.

James was stoned, his eyes were bloodshot and he had this creepy, half grin on his face. I didn't know what he had to smile about, but knowing him, it was probably something sick and twisted and plain _wrong_.

Ben wasn't as high as usual, in fact, he'd hardly smoked at all... I didn't have to ask him why. He had a girlfriend now, he had someone he wanted to impress and make smile. I doubted seeing his wasted self laugh over a random word like "sausage" would go over all that well with her.

He was on his phone, his fingers flying over the keys as he typed whatever message he was sending to, no doubt, Angela. His hair was less messy and he'd started wearing aftershave. The inner suave fucker inside me wanted to fist-bump him, while the less romantic side wanted to trip him up and call him a fool.

I was going with Ben to Port Angeles to pick up a Halloween costume for him to wear later tonight. He would be accompanying Angela while she took her little brothers trick-or-treating; he was so whipped.

I had no idea why he'd asked me to help him, especially considering I hadn't dressed up for the holiday since I was like twelve or something. Perhaps he thought that since I shared the same DNA as Alice, I would be good at picking out clothing. If he sincerely thought that, he'd be sorely mistaken. I hadn't had to shop for myself since Alice and myself had gotten our first allowance at the age of fourteen. It was easier not to argue with her when she told me she was picking me up a new jacket or whatever.

Laurent had dragged his eyes from the screen to talk with James about some girl they'd met last weekend while on a trip to Seattle. Ben wasn't listening, he was smiling while looking at the screen to his cell.

"Wait, I thought you were back with Victoria now?" I asked, my brows furrowed as I focused my attention on the both of them.

"What?" James asked seemingly confused, shaking his head as he let out a breathy laugh.

"She was talking about it yesterday at lunch," I replied as I thought back to the conversation at the table. "She said you were taking her to Lauren's party tonight."

"No, she wishes," he said as he rubbed at his eyes. "I made the mistake of sleeping with her a couple of times last month and she's got real clingy again. I'm going to have to put a stop to that shit before she gets any more wild ideas into her head." He took a last drag from his joint before putting it out in the crystal ashtray.

I frowned, the words hitting home a little. Was I like that? Was I as bad as James? I mean, I wasn't that much of an asshole to the girls that vied for my attention like he was. I didn't swear at them, or get them drunk and take them home... but I never gave them the option of exclusivity either.

I pulled at my hair as I trained my eyes on the hideous carpet... _fuck_.

Ben nudged my foot with his, his silent way of asking me if I was good. I nodded without looking at him; I wasn't about to explain anything in present company.

"Besides," James sighed as he sat up straighter in his chair. "There's someone I want much more than her."

I froze, my blood boiling despite my immobile limbs. _Bella._ I didn't need to ask him who he was speaking of to confirm the name in my head. I'd seen the way he'd looked at her. I'd seen the way his eyes would follow her as she moved about a room. _If he touches her, I'll kill him._ I swallowed thickly. Why did I even care? She could do whatever she wanted. She may even want the attention from him.

"Oh yeah? Who's that?" I asked feigning ignorance. My eyes drifted to Laurent who was in his own little stoner world with sequins and fabrics and some dude on the TV named "Louis". James, however, was solely focused on me. I could feel the stone cold gaze of his eyes on me as I tried to laugh nonchalantly at Laurent "tutting" at the screen.

James was far too persistent and observant. I wondered what sort of home life he'd had to act the way he did. He never talked of his parents, of his family. I knew he had an older sister, but I didn't think she lived anywhere near Forks. Did he have someone who cared for him? His creased shirt and the cut above his eyebrow suggested he hadn't. It didn't seem he was ever truly relaxed... truly switched off. Even when under the influence of drugs - where you would think the mind would lose its focus and bask in the cloudy nothing - he still seemed to be watchful.

"The very lovely Miss Swan of course," he answered. I nodded, trying to seem indifferent, "but you already knew that, didn't you Edward?" I stayed calm; he didn't know anything. This was what he was best at, making you question yourself, to feed off your panic.

"Well if you say I did, I must have, huh?" I smirked, not giving him a straight answer. He sucked in his cheeks, a grin slowly forming as he accepted a new joint from Laurent.

Neither of us said anything else for a moment, James looking deep in thought as he continued to inhale and exhale smoke from his lungs. I took out my phone to check the time, releasing a sigh of relief at the hour.

"You coming to the party tonight?" James asked as I went to stand. I dropped my hands between my knees as I leaned forward.

"No, staying home," I replied, bouncing my knee in impatience. I fiddled with a fray in my jeans as I turned to Ben to ask if he was ready to leave.

"Sure man, just let me finishing sending this text and then we can go," he said without taking his eyes off the highlighted screen.

"You're going? But the show is just getting to the best part, they'll all turn on one another any minute now. It's a bitch-fest," Laurent voiced with a look of excitement... well as excited as he could while stoned. He looked like he was one hit away from going on a "whitey".

"Afraid so," I said with mock disappointment. "We've got to go find a costume for Ben's exciting date tonight," I laughed, elbowing Ben lightly to let him know I was only joking... kind of.

"So you're staying in with the family, then?" James inquired. I rubbed a hand over my face, fed up with his constant questioning. He couldn't leave shit alone.

"Yes, I'm staying in with the family," I sighed. "Alice has picked out a bunch of movies for us to watch, which she'll no doubt end up talking through."

"No one else?" he hinted. I bit the knuckle of my pointer finger as I gripped my car keys in my right palm.

"Fuck, I don't know, James. Why, you looking for an invitation? Seriously, what's with all the fucking questions?" He'd caused me to snap. My patience had been tested and I'd let him get the better of me.

"Whoa," he smirked, holding up his hands. "No reason, simply being friendly," he said with a wink. He blew smoke towards me and I had to resist the urge to punch him in the face.

I had to stop coming with Ben when he wanted a smoke. I couldn't stand being around James anymore. At first he was simply irritating, but that irritation was rapidly transforming into a severe dislike. Also, I didn't trust him at all. The further from my business he was, the better.

I felt a hand at my shoulder and turned to see Ben get to his feet. "You ready?"

"Fuck yes," I muttered quietly. I stood, momentarily stretching before heading for the door.

"Have fun tonight, Edward," James shouted behind us. My feet instantaneously stopped moving. If Ben hadn't been behind me, pushing me forward, I would have turned around and pummeled him.

"Don't let him wind you up," Ben said once we were outside. "He wants the reaction. Don't give it to him." I slumped back against the front door of the house, my hands covering my face.

"You've been different lately," he added after a few seconds. I dragged my palms down my cheeks and averted my eyes from his inquisitive look.

"Different how?" I asked. I nudged a few loose stones that had escaped from the gravel pathway with my shoes, kicking them back to where they belonged.

"I'm not sure," he answered slowly, "just...different." He shrugged one shoulder before turning and walking towards the car. I didn't think there was anything different about me. I suddenly felt uneasy thinking that there was something so obvious for others to see that I couldn't. My hair was a little longer, but other than that my appearance was pretty much the same. Was I being obtuse? Or was Ben simply high and talking gibberish? But then he'd hardly smoked anything..**.**

I shook it off and followed after him, gravel crunching under my feet as I walked.

I pulled up outside the only Halloween shop in the town. The place was packed, full of last minute buyers wanting to find the perfect costume for whatever plans they had tonight. We exited the car in silence and made our way into the store.

"Where do we even start?" Ben asked as his eyes gazed about the room. He looked somewhat panicked, completely out of his depth. I couldn't help but chuckle.

"Seriously dude, I haven't got a clue." I turned to the left and burst out laughing at the costume before me.

"Hey Ben? How do you feel about the Chippendales?" He flipped me off and went over to the next stand. "What? I bet Angela would love it," I said while trying to keep a straight face."

He rolled his eyes and picked up something orange. "Yeah, but I doubt her parents would." He put the item back and continued to peruse.

"What about this one?" I suggested, holding out a cowboy costume complete with leather chaps. He took it without even looking - it was too easy to fuck with him sometimes.

His eyes widened as he took in my suggestion. "Remind me why I asked you to come with me again," he mumbled with a small smile. A female employee came over to him, his cheeks flushing as he quickly shoved the costume on a rack among female nurse outfits.

I left the woman to do her job and wandered around the store by myself, eyeing all the broomsticks and wigs on a stand with fake teeth and flashing horns. I heard raised voices behind me and smiled at the sight of two kids fighting over the last Spiderman costume, their parents chatting away and completely oblivious to their squabbling. It reminded me so much of the times when Emmett and I would to go to the store with Esme - we'd always end up fighting over which cereal to get for the week. It was never for the cereal itself - well maybe a little on Em's side - but for the free toy inside.

I'd ended up near the changing rooms of the store, where the unsure people tried on their ridiculous costumes as their friends debated whether it was a good look for them. How the fuck a ghost can be described as a good look for anyone is beyond me. They'll wear this overly priced piece of material once, and then it will be shoved into the back of the closet and forgotten like half of the night's drunken antics.

Mike Newton walked out of one of the curtained cubicles in the dressing room; I nearly choked on my own spit at the sight of him. He was wearing a pair of leather trousers and a waistcoat that was far too short for him. Big black boots donned his feet and a plastic guitar was in his hands. The long blonde wig and fake ring in his nose sent me over the edge. I had to bite the inside of my cheek so I wouldn't roar with laughter and draw attention my way. I closed my eyes as the thankfully heavy, silent laughter reverberated through my body. God I wished I'd had a camera with me. I was almost contemplating making an appearance at Lauren's party just so I could laugh at the sight of him some more. It may have been a dick move, but I'd never seen anyone look so ridiculous, and that's saying a lot.

Tyler had accompanied Mike on his costume mission. I was surprised to see he wasn't also laughing at the sight before him. Honesty was obviously lost on some people.

"You look great dude, real authentic," Tyler insisted with a jerk of his head in approval. I had to walk away, my laughter threatening to explode dangerously.

I stopped at a quieter part of the store that was reserved for sale items and old and unwanted items. I had tears in my eyes as I struggled to catch my breath.

I could see Ben still chatting with the store employee, his hands grasping a few costumes. He seemed to be a little less freaked out by what was around him now. He even picked up a few props from the children's section, his choices no doubt, gifts for Angela's younger brothers.

My laughter died immediately when I spotted another someone...two someones to be exact. Bella was here, but she wasn't alone. Jacob Black was beside her, his hands full of clothing as she loaded more and more into his arms. He was smiling... she was smiling. He rolled his eyes as she added one last item to his already giant pile.

Was she going somewhere with him tonight? Was she not spending the evening with us like I'd thought? Her own hands were empty, but perhaps her outfits were amongst his... together.

I backed up, making sure to stay out of sight. I didn't want to have to deal with this right now. My head was screaming at me to do something that I would never normally think of doing. Ever. It was telling me to storm over there and drag her away, treat her like a possession and brand her as _mine_. But she wasn't, and I wasn't sure I even wanted her to be. My head suddenly started to ache, my hands immediately rubbing my temples.

However, my wishes were cut short when I rounded the corner - my hands still rubbing at my head - and collided with the very same person who was overriding every other thought.

She went to apologize but stopped when she met my gaze. Her eyes were wide and her mouth was opened just a little. She looked unsure and confused and just a tad nervous. My hands had somehow ended up on her shoulders, the warmth of her skin heating my palms. Neither one of us moved consciously, yet she was being pulled away from me. Jacob's arm was suddenly around her waist, pulling her back against his chest, his other arm precariously holding onto to the mound of different costumes.

"You too special to look where you're going?" Jacob sneered. My eyes tore themselves from hers and focused on his hard expression. My jaw ticked as I clenched and unclenched it in rapid succession.

"In present company, I'd have to say 'yes'," I replied, squinting my eyes ever so slightly. I turned back to Bella, my hands going to my pockets. "You, OK?" I asked. She nodded swiftly, refusing to make eye contact, her lip between her teeth.

"Fine...yeah, fine," she answered, her hand going to rest upon Jacob's. My eyes zeroed in on this movement, unable to look away from the simple, yet poignant, gesture.

An Indian headdress fell from his pile, the brightly coloured feathers standing out against the dull colour of the flooring. I bent and picked it up, smirking as I held it out to him.

"I see you're being super original this year," I said, a sarcastic smile on my lips. Bella quickly took it from my hands, her eyes pleading with his not to retaliate. He didn't listen to her silent, imploring look.

"And I see you're still the same jackass you've always been," he snapped back. "So I guess that makes us even."

I held in a snort. It in no way made us even; I had one up on him. I wanted to tell him I'd been fooling around with his girlfriend behind his back for weeks. I wanted to tell him she whispered my name when she came. I wanted to tell him she'd chosen me. My eyes fell to their hands once more... I took back my last statement.

Bella's posture had tensed... she knew what I was thinking. She swallowed thickly, her face paling to a shade even lighter than her already pale skin tone. She thought I was going to tell him, and while I wanted to make him hurt, make him angry, I wouldn't do that to her. I said I wouldn't, and I wasn't about to break my word. It wasn't my relationship to sever.

"If you want to believe that, then sure," I said with a shrug. "Who am I to make you feel bad about yourself." His eyes flashed at my final comment, his hand around Bella's waist balling into a tight fist, turning the russet skin around his knuckles to the colour of sand.

Bella looked angry now, and that anger was directed at me. She was fierce in her regard, colour warming her cheeks. She turned to face Jacob, her hand placed gently to his chest. "Why don't you go try those on?" she said softly while pointing to the clothing in his hold. "I need to ask Edward something about Alice's birthday real quick."

"And I can't be here for that, because?" he asked while cocking a brow at her. Bella took a step back and crossed her arms protectively over her chest. His eyes flickered to mine before resting back on hers.

"Because it's something private that I know she wouldn't want shared with someone who she wasn't close with," she whispered. She was lying, Alice's birthday wasn't until May. It had already passed.

He closed his eyes briefly and let out a sigh. "Yeah, of course, sorry," he mumbled, rubbing the back of his neck with his now free hand. "I'll be right back." He shot me a final glare before leaving the two of us alone.

We both watched until he disappeared into the first cubicle, his eyes darting back to us before going inside. As soon as that curtain closed she turned on me with red cheeks and a burning gaze.

"What are you doing here?" she hissed. I shook my head smiling bitterly, my hands grasping strands of my hair harshly.

"What? You own this store? I'm not allowed to accompany a friend to get a costume so he can help his girlfriend - _your_ friend - take her little brothers trick-or-treating later? My apologies," I said with a sneer, my voice laced with sarcasm.

She snapped her mouth closed from the no doubt hostile response she was about to give. She was scared, I knew this, but she was now as much a part of this mess as I was.

"I'm not going to say anything to him, so you can stop getting your panties in a twist," I stated while looking across the store for Ben. _Where was he? _

She stepped closer, her hand reaching out for me, before swiftly pulling it back. "Well, how could I possibly know that?" she snapped. "I know more about your fingers than I do about what goes on in your head."

I rubbed the heel of my palms over my eyes. Tired, I was so tired. "Fuck this. I can't speak right now," I said while refusing to look at her.

There was silence between us in the noise-filled store; it was uncomfortable. "I just don't know what I'm doing any more," she admitted in an almost whisper.

That made two of us, but I wasn't about to voice that. I momentarily turned away from her to see Ben walking over to the counter to pay. _Fucking finally. _I needed to get the hell out of there.

However, when I swiveled back around, ready to give her some bullshit answer about speaking to her later, she was storming through the stands to the changing rooms. Stubborn, irritating, beaut... _shit._

I ran after her, not calling her name like I wanted to due to who was currently a few feet away trying on costumes. She was about to reach out for his curtain when I grasped her arm and pulled her away to the very end cubicle. She slapped at my hand once, but after seeing my resolve was as solid as stone, she stopped.

I drew the curtain behind us and pushed her up against the wall, my lips immediately finding her skin. She was pounding on my chest in half-hearted attempts, each hit getting slower and weaker with every second. She was calling me an asshole. She was telling me that she hated me. She was tugging me closer.

"Will I be seeing you later?" I whispered into her ear, her chest pushing against mine with her heavy breathing. "Hmm?" I dragged my lips slowly to the point behind her ear that always made her moan softly. She didn't disappoint.

"I don't know," she replied just as lowly, her hands finding my belt loops and pulling me forward. I pushed against her in return, her head falling back as I kissed down her neck. My tongue dipped into the hollow of her throat which released a groan from her mouth that was louder than either of us anticipated. We both paused, waiting for someone to open the curtain and expose us. She started to panic, remembering where we were and who she was here with. She pushed me away, but I didn't want to move. I wanted to carry on tasting her skin. I wanted to skim my hands up her torso until I got to her breasts. I wanted to put her nipple in my mouth and suck until she moaned so loud Jacob would know she wasn't his alone.

"I won't, I can't... I shouldn't," she rambled off, eyes looking anywhere but at me. I grasped her face between my palms, wanting her to look at me.

She allowed me to turn her face towards me, but her eyes were closed. My thumbs stroked her cheeks, waiting until she was ready. I didn't want to have to comfort her, I wanted her to _want_ to see me without effort. I was so selfish. I sought something from her that I wasn't sure I even wanted in the long run.

I could use shock tactics, I could press my mouth to hers and feel her lips. I hadn't kissed her for some time; I simply wasn't used to the action. It had seemed far too intimate than I was comfortable with. Having sex with someone was easy for me, kissing someone wasn't. It was screwed up and completely fucking backwards but it's what I felt. It was real to me.

My lips were hovering over hers, only one final step forward and I'd be allowing myself to give in. Her lashes started to flutter and I knew she could sense me. I was suddenly staring into captivating brown, her hands on mine. Finally.

Her lips parted, my feet shifting as I debated what to do. I had tried so hard to stay away, I had made a conscious effort to distance myself, and yet whenever I was near her it seemed almost impossible to listen to what my head was telling me..._warning_ me.

I took a step backwards and watched for her face to drop, but it never came. Her mask was one of what could only be described as... neutral. You didn't need scary guises to hide from someone, a facial expression could easily work, just like I was seeing now. She was concealing her feelings from me, which was smart on her part. The veil had been pulled down and I wanted to both rip if off and keep it tighter in place. I could understand concealment, I could respect concealment, but I couldn't understand why I felt disappointed... or maybe I could and wanted to ignore it. Now was not the time or place to start delving into shit that would complicate things even further.

My phone buzzed and broke our connection. I pulled it from the pocket of my jeans and read the text displayed on the screen.

_I'm waiting by the car – Ben._

He never liked to use "text" talk, always insisting that words were meant to be written in their correct form. He didn't ask what I was doing, he didn't ask where I'd gotten to, he simply let me know in his own way that he was ready to leave and that I should hurry the fuck up.

"I've got to go," I told her, peeking out the curtain to make sure no one was around. I pulled it open a little and stepped out, turning to see that she was intending to follow me. I held up my hand and shook my head, indicating that she shouldn't walk out right after me. She gave me a glare that stopped me in my tracks; she didn't have a mask in place right now. That look let me know exactly how she was feeling.

Before I'd even taken another step forward she'd pushed past me, her shoulder brushing my chest in the process. I stood, stunned at her carelessness. Jacob could've walked out any moment and seen us exiting the cubicle. It wouldn't have taken a genius to know that something wasn't right about that, especially considering this wasn't where he'd left us before he'd gone to try on his costumes.

She didn't look back at me, she didn't even wait for me to _leave_ before she called Jacob through the curtain. She'd always been the one to be extra cautious; she'd always been the one to stop us if she thought things had gone too far.

I didn't get chance to question anything further before she was pulled into his cubicle. With him. By themselves. Doing god knows what. I had to get out of there... now.

I walked quickly, hating the fact that I could hear her giggling as I passed. I wished I'd never started this game with her. I wished I'd ignored her from the start. I wished that she didn't affect me like she did. I wished that I meant what I said.

Ben was waiting outside the Volvo just like he'd said he would be. He was eyeing me with caution, the expression on my face no doubt stormy.

"Sorry," I told him as I unlocked the car. "I got held up with something."

"No problem," he replied as he slipped into the seat. I followed suit and buckled up, taking a peek into his bag. There was a lot of brown.

"So, what did you end up getting?" I asked as I put the car into reverse and pulled out of the space. He scratched his head and gave a smile that looked more like a grimace.

"I got a 'Star Wars' costume," he replied, his hands rubbing at his thighs.

"Oh, nice," I answered as I turned a bend. "So, are you going as Darth Vader or Luke Skywalker?"

"Um...neither," he said before clearing his throat. I furrowed my brows, trying to think of a character popular enough that people would recognize instantly.

"Hans Solo? Obi-Wan? Yoda?" I suggested. I couldn't think of any others... well, unless he was going as Leia. I snorted at that thought.

He turned towards me slightly in his seat, his hands poised on his knees. "No... I'm going as Chewbacca," he mumbled. I couldn't help the laugh that shot forth from my mouth. Surely he was joking?

"No, seriously, Ben," I said, still chuckling as we stopped at the traffic lights. I glanced at him from the side of my eye to see he wasn't smiling. In fact, he looked a little worried. _Well, shit._

"It's just that I remember Angela saying her brothers liked animals, and well, I thought they would find it cool or something. I don't know." He stared out the passenger side window, a frown on his face.

I suddenly felt like the worlds biggest jerk.

"No, that's great. They'll love it, honest," I said with a nod. I'm sure he'd rather be going as something else, but he was going against his own comfort to make others happy. Did he find it easy changing certain aspects of himself? At the end of the day, was it really worth putting yourself out there like that?

"Hey, Ben. Can I ask you a semi-serious question?" I voiced hesitantly. His brows shot up, his surprise evident.

"Sure," he replied simply. I took a deep breath and let it out slowly, quickly licking my lips.

"Do you mind having to change for, Angela?" I asked earnestly. "I mean, I'm not saying that she's telling you to do shit or anything. I'm just saying, like, you obviously want to make her happy, so you do things a little differently to enable that. Doesn't that bother you at all? Changing yourself for another?" I was rambling and probably making no sense. He didn't answer me straight away and I started to worry that I'd opened a can of worms. Perhaps he didn't think he was doing anything that he wouldn't normally do. Perhaps he was pissed that I'd even mentioned it in the first place.

"Honestly?" he said. I nodded without removing my eyes from the road. "No." I waited for him to continue, expecting him to expand on his answer, but nothing more came.

"What, that's it?" I said incredulously.

"Well, what were you envisaging?" he queried.

"I don't know," I sighed. "I just thought that you'd have more to say than _one_ word."

"See, that's your problem. You think too much about things, Edward. You need to "go with the flow" or whatever and do what feels right. Not everything is black and white. There are grey areas that we all live through, you simply need to get used to them."

"But what if things don't last with you and Angela?" I probed while changing gear. "I'm not meaning to say you won't, or sound like an asshole, but won't you feel... well, cheated?" I pulled up outside Ben's house and cut the engine. I left the door ajar and grabbed my smokes.

"I think that I'd feel I'd cheated myself more if I hadn't tried." I offered him a cigarette, but he shook his head, declining. "Everyone has the gift of hindsight, Edward. If things turn to shit, I know that I'd at least put in effort, you know? I'd done what I could."

I watched as the flame lit the end of the cigarette, the cherry burning a bright orange. I blew the smoke through the open door, thinking about what Ben had just said. He made everything sound so simple, so easy. I was a little jealous that he seemed so in control.

"I guess. Thanks." I scratched my jaw and stared at my shoes.

"Yeah," he said while checking his watch. "You thinking of asking Tanya out?" I smirked, shaking my head.

"No, I was just wondering, being nosy," I replied with a shrug. He smiled in return, his eyebrows raised.

"Uh huh," he laughed, opening the door. "Well, whoever she is must be important for you to question me about relationships."

"She's no one," I answered automatically.

"Oh, so there is a someone?" he said with foot already out the door. I went to reply but he held up his hand. "You don't have to answer, ignore me. I'm being the nosy one now."

I flicked my cigarette to the ground, watching as it extinguished in one of the many puddles left behind from last night's rain.

"Anyway, thanks for going with me," Ben said as he closed the door. He tapped his hand on the roof of the car before strolling up to his front door. I beeped the horn as I pulled away from the curb, leaving the window open and ignoring the grey that filled the sky.

Alice was sitting at the table as I entered the kitchen. I'd been home for a few hours now, my hair still wet from my shower. After I'd returned home from dropping off Ben, I'd decided to go for a run to blow off a little steam. It had rained, the weather outside muggy and dismal. It had caused my clothes to stick to my skin, making me feel even more uncomfortable in myself.

Alice didn't acknowledge me as I went to the fridge and grabbed the carton of orange juice, ruffling her hair as I passed.

We hadn't spoken much since our argument in Bella's bedroom after our day in the pool. She'd accused me of being up to something and wanted me to stop. I, of course, denied everything she threw at me. She was right, but I wasn't purposely trying to hurt anyone. It stung a little that she thought of me like that. That alone made me re-evaluate shit. I'd realized that a lot more people were involved than just the two of us.

"Any kids been to the house yet?" I asked Alice as I leaned against the counter top. She briefly flicked her eyes to me from the pages of her magazine before refocusing back on the article.

"Yep," she answered as she turned a page. "Em _was _on candy duty, but mom had to take over when he'd eaten half of the candy himself." I laughed, swallowing the last of the juice from the carton before depositing it into the recycling bin.

"So, no angry ghouls so far this year?" She flipped me off without turning her head, my laugh echoing through the room as she did so.

The doorbell rang, interrupting my next question. "You sure you don't want to answer that?" I teased. She scowled, attempting to smack me on the arm as I passed. I dodged her hit, quickly tickling her sides before running off.

"Jerk," she shouted after me. I still had a smile on my face as I opened the door.

There were a bunch of young kids dressed in the usual costumes, big grins on their faces as they all yelled "trick-or-treat" at the top of their lungs. The boy who was dressed as a pumpkin had my sympathy; he even had on orange tights.

"Do you like our costumes?" one girl asked sweetly, a pointed witches hat on her head.

"I do, you all look scary," I said while offering the bowl of candy to them. This produced a round of giggles and cheers.

"Why aren't you dressed up?" another asked, her nose wrinkled in either confusion or distaste. I looked down at my jeans and hoodie with a small smile. "Are you not going trick-or-treating with your friends?"

"Not this year," I told them. One little boy stepped forward and tugged on my jeans, trying to gain my attention. "What's up buddy?"

"You can come with us if you want, we'll share our candy, honest we will." I shook my head, laughing, giving them all an extra Twizzler each.

"Thanks kid, but I'm on candy duty I'm afraid," I said, shaking the bowl as evidence.

"Oh, OK then. I hope you get to go next year." He walked down the steps, the others following behind him. "Happy Halloween," they said in unison, which caused another round of giggles as they ran down the driveway. I winced as the pumpkin kid fell and sort of rolled a little before they all helped him up and continued. I doubted he'd be so fond of the holiday in a few years time if he had to wear that get-up again. He was another "Halloween hating Alice" in the making.

I closed the door and dumped the bowl on the side table. I was debating whether to go watch a little TV when I turned to see Bella sitting at the bottom of the stairs watching me. She was biting on her bottom lip as her fingers toyed with the sleeves of her sweater. I hadn't even realized she was already there.

"What?" I asked, crossing my arms across my chest. I didn't like the way she was looking at me.

"As ever, you continue confuse the hell out of me Edward Cullen," she said with a humourless chuckle. What had I done now? I didn't want any more serious conversations today, I'd had enough of them.

"I could 'confuse you' in your bed if you want. Play hide and seek under the covers," I winked, hoping to divert her. Her cheeks blossomed, her eyes diverting to the kitchen door. I walked over and sat beside her on the stair, making sure my thigh was flush with hers.

"I'd rather 'confuse you' with a knee to the groin," she replied lowly with a smirk. I smiled crookedly, my hand running through my hair.

"Come on, we both know you wouldn't do that," I told her with a shoulder bump. "You love my dick too much. I bet you even have a secret name for him." She coughed, pushing me away. "Mr. Happy?" I guessed undeterred.

"So close," she sighed. "It's Mr. Tiny," she smiled, wiggling her little finger at me. I squinted my eyes playfully.

"That's spiteful and completely untrue," I responded feigning hurt. "I should spank you for being naughty," I whispered into her ear.

"Take me over your knee?" she breathed as my lips brushed her jaw.

"I'd rather have you on your back or knees as I "punished" you," I said, sucking softly behind her ear. "Again and again and again." My hand moved to her knee, slowly sliding up the inside of her thigh.

"Not going to happen," she replied, her voice shaky. I kissed her cheek, her jaw, little teasing caresses that lasted no longer than a few seconds.

"You over your pissy fit from earlier?" I asked, my hand inching closer to the juncture between her thighs.

Footsteps started on the stairs above us, Bella immediately jumping away from me as Em came barreling into sight. "Good, you're both here." He jabbed me in the back as he went past. "You ready to watch some classic horror?" he said enthusiastically as he put his arm around Bella's shoulder. She wouldn't look at me again.

"Whoo," I said sarcastically while pumping a fist. "Can't wait."

"There's nothing to be scared of E," Em teased. "Bella doesn't get spooked easily. She'll sit next to you and hold your hand when you scream like a girl, won't you, Bella?"

She snorted, but didn't give an answer. Her head rested on his shoulder as she glanced at the clock on the wall in front of her.

Jasper and Rose let themselves in through the front door just as we were walking towards the den.

"Yo love muffin," Jasper sang as he gave Bella a kiss on her cheek. She rolled her eyes laughing, calling for Alice with a glint in her eye.

"You're such a snitch," he said while poking her in the side. "I thought we agreed to keep our secret love between just the two of us?" He winked.

Alice appeared at that moment and dragged Bella away, linking their hands. "She doesn't want you Jazz, she's already pledged herself to me."

"Even better, I get two for the price of one," he laughed, rubbing his arm when Rose smacked him.

"Sick," she muttered.

"Jealous," he countered.

"Satisfied," Em shouted, smacking her ass.

"Cave man," Alice piped in.

"God, all of you shut the fuck up," I added.

"Pussy," Rose muttered under her breath.

"Cock sucker," I answered back.

"Well, you'd know more about that than me. You're the expert," she smirked, flipping her hair over her shoulder. I had a momentary childish thought of sticking gum in it so she'd have to cut it all off.

"OK, OK, enough," Alice interjected, grasping the sleeve of my hoodie to drag me away as I flipped Rose the bird. "Let's go watch some badly directed shit."

"When you put it that way, it sounds awesome," Rose mumbled behind her, her mood sour.

"You're not knocked up are you, Rose?" I smirked. "You've been awful moody lately." I shook my head at Em as he attempted to calm her down.

"Bite me," she snapped, kicking me with her heeled boots. _Fuck that shit hurt._

"I don't think I should. I've heard rabies is a real dangerous disease," I winked, without an ounce of humour.

"Fuck you," she spat, kicking me in the same spot.

I turned to Jasper, pointing my finger at him. "You started all this," I moaned as I rubbed at my leg. Again.

"Yeah," Bella teased from Alice's side. "Such a trouble maker." He cocked his brow as Alice stuck out her tongue at him, both of them running down the stairs when he gave chase.

"Idiot. I'm related to an idiot," Rose chanted as we followed after them.

"You're also dating one," I joked, groaning when Em captured me in a headlock as soon as we'd hit the bottom stair.

"Take it back," he demanded, roughly rubbing my head.

"Fine, yeah, I take it back," I said, elbowing him in the stomach as he let me go.

We settled onto the sofas as Alice set up the DVD player. I made sure to place myself next to Bella, my arm resting along the back of the cushions. I covertly scratched lightly at the back of her neck, her body tensing at the contact.

I smiled, moving my hand from her skin as she started to shift away from me. Jasper cleared his throat, drawing my attention to where he was sitting on the love seat opposite. He wasn't looking at me, but I somehow felt as though it had been directed at me. I was still unsure as to whether he'd seen Bella and I in the music room, but I couldn't come out and ask him that. He hadn't said a word to me about, hadn't hinted at the fact he knew something was going on. Surely he'd have something to say if he had seen us?

"OK, let's get this over with," Alice sighed as she flipped the lights. It seemed I wasn't the only one who was grouchy today.

'A Nightmare on Elm Street' was currently playing on the TV screen. I had started to watch it, laughing loudly at Freddy's run, even more so when Em started imitating his wildly flailing arms and fucked up cackle, but I'd become distracted.

Bella's arm was resting against mine. She was warm and soft and I wanted to run my hands along her skin. Her lips were parted as she watched the movie and I found myself wanting to kiss them, badly. I couldn't not look at her.

The coloured flashes from the screen seemed to increase my need. The darkness added to the static of wanting to cling to her, it added to the crackling atmosphere of the room.

I wanted to sink into her, feel her warmth around me as I moved feverishly above her. I wanted to fuck her, let the desperation out. I was _aching_ for that type of contact. I hadn't slept with anyone in over six months, hadn't wanted to, but I did now. I didn't want slowness - I wanted a frenzied pace. I wanted moans and overheated skin. Perhaps that was what was missing, that final act. Perhaps then I'd be able to rid her from my mind.

I glanced over at her again and studied her profile. Her lashes were so long, her lips plump. She caught me staring; my eyes quickly moved back to the screen. I took a look around the room, needing the diversion.

Alice had fallen asleep, her head resting in Jasper's lap as he ran his fingers through her short hair. Rose was lying between Em's legs, a big bowl of popcorn supported by her stomach. It wouldn't surprise me if he tried to use the gap in her cleavage as a drink holder.

We'd already watched 'Halloween' so far tonight, just like we did every year. It never got any better, but Jasper's response was always, "you've got to watch 'Halloween' on Halloween! It's tradition." It had only become a shitty tradition because he fucking insisted we watch it every year.

I suddenly felt something moving against my hand, startling me slightly. I glanced down to see Bella's little finger touching mine, her movement hesitant. I watched as she looped it with mine, the sight causing feelings of warmth to blossom in my chest. Soon enough she'd slid her whole hand under mine, our fingers entwined as she continued to watch the movie.

Our hands lay between us, no one else could see. I didn't know why she'd wanted the contact. Was she scared by the images on the screen. Did she find my touch comforting.

This wasn't something I ever did unless I was messing around with her. I wouldn't initiate this type of connection with a girl for security reasons, and yet I still hadn't moved my hand from hers.

I was torn. I didn't want to move my hand away in case I hurt her feelings, but I didn't want her to take it for something it wasn't either. This may not even mean anything. The fact that it was _my_ hand may not have even registered with her. She may have needed a form of reassurance and I just happened to be the one sitting beside her. She wasn't squeezing it in fright, but perhaps she simply needed some form of skin-to-skin contact, no matter how light it ended up being.

Either way, I didn't move it for the remainder of the movie.

The screen turned to a vivid blue as the credits ended. I yawned, stretching my legs out in front of me as I gazed about the room; everyone had drifted off. Bella's eyes were closed, but it looked as if her mouth was moving... she was talking in her sleep. I couldn't hear what she was saying due to Emmett's snoring, but the sight still caused me to smile.

I gently slipped my hand from hers, not wanting to wake her and got to my feet. I'd only taken a few steps when the sound of her groggy voice filled my ears.

"Where are you going?" she queried, her eyes threatening to close again.

"To bed," I told her as I stood awkwardly in front of her.

"Oh," she said, her hand now in her hair. "Help me up?" she asked, holding out her free hand for me to take.

I rolled my eyes as I pulled her to a standing position, her sleepy giggles as she nearly fell back to the sofa making me snort.

"Think you can manage to make it to your room without causing yourself any damage?" I teased. This time it was her turn to roll her eyes.

"Yes," she said, a yawn muffling the "s". "Just let me hold onto your arm just in case."

I allowed her to continue to grasp my hand as we left the others asleep in the den. She tripped once in the foyer after she claimed a branch from one of Esme's indoor plants tried to attack her, and again walking _up_ the third floor stairs.

We both became quiet as we neared our respective rooms. I'd never been in this position before; I would have been lying if I said I wasn't somewhat nervous.

I paused outside my door, quickly glancing between our hands and the door opposite... her door.

"Edward," she whispered, her face conveying tiredness. She tightened her grip for the first time all evening.

I took a deep breath and decided to take Ben's advice from earlier. I wouldn't think too much about what I was about to do, I wouldn't question it, I would just _do_.

I opened my door, her hand still in mine, and pulled her through, closing it behind us. The resounding click echoed throughout the stillness of the night as the remainder of the house continued to sleep, completely ignorant to the fact I'd just cut every last string that had been keeping her from my sphere.

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**Reviews will get a teaser for the next chapter which will hopefully be up sometime next week.**

**I have a rec this week:**

**Grand Jeté by stella luna sky - so good so far.**

**Thanks for reading. VHL xx**


	21. Chapter 21

**Hey everyone. Thank you all for your PM's and reviews last chapter. I read and appreciate each and every one.**

**Thanks to my amazing beta SusanQ. Without her fixing my mistakes, I doubt any of you would be reading this.**

**Jedigirlsc is awesome. I tell her this at least once a week. Thank you for pre-reading and making me laugh. ;)**

**Ali, thanks for reading this even though you have a bad arm. I am totally taking the piss right now. Hopefully she won't get too angry. **

**Also, I forgot to say this last update, but thanks to twimom76. She kindly bid on me during FGB - your outtake will be started very soon.**

**Disclaimer: SM still owns. I still don't know why I write these.**

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Bella

If I was tired before, I certainly wasn't now. My heart was racing, the beat vibrating inside my chest and against my ribs. My eyes tried to adjust to the darkness in the room. The only thing keeping me from freaking out, was the hand currently in mine. What was he doing? Had he gone into the wrong room by mistake?

His expression out in the hallway had been so confusing. He'd seemed almost _pained _at one point before this defeated look overtook his features. I was too dazed at the time to question what he was doing, my feet simply moved behind his as he pulled me along with him. I found myself there, in Edward's bedroom, with him at my side.

To say I was stunned would have been an understatement.

He didn't allow others in his room, I knew this, he'd told me himself weeks before. Even though standing here in the dark was causing my anxiety to heighten, I liked that he couldn't see the expression upon my face. The truth was, I'd been wanting to see the inside of his room for a while now, the curiosity never fading like the sun would at dusk. I was worried that if he saw my bewildered expression, he would regret bringing me in here, ultimately telling me to leave. I didn't want to go.

His hand left mine, with the warmth gone, the room suddenly felt so cold. I wrapped my arms around myself, listening to his muffled footsteps, trying to gauge which direction he'd gone.

Illumination flooded the room, my eyes instinctively squinting against the sudden intrusion of light. He'd switched on his lamp, which wasn't that harsh or bright, but it was enough of a contrast for my eyes to momentarily see vibrant spots.

He was standing beside his bed, the lamp on the small table beside it glowing. His hand was rubbing at the back of his neck as he gazed about the room. I didn't know if he was nervous or simply tired, but that action alone let me know he wasn't comfortable.

I followed his example and took in his room for the first time. It was... normal, like any other boy's bedroom you'd see. I didn't know why I'd thought _his _would be any different. I hadn't had a clear cut picture in my head as to what it would be like, yet... I guess I just didn't expect _this_.

Perhaps it was the fact that he didn't like others in his personal space that made me expect something not quite so generic. There was nothing special about it. The walls were cream, the flooring the same shade of wood that was out in the hallway; no carpet. His bed was neat, his bedding chocolates and muted golds. He had a leather couch that looked out onto the side garden, heavy curtains at the doors leading to his balcony. He had a bookcase covering an entire wall, filled with music and books and movies. An expensive looking computer sat at his desk, clothes strewn over the back on the chair that was positioned in front of it.

I turned back to look at him, his eyes securely on my face; he'd been watching me. He was now sitting on the edge of his bed, his head bent slightly towards the floor, gazing at me through his lashes. I just stood there, staring back at him in a trance-like state, all wide eyes and frozen limbs.

"Umm, nice room," I said lowly, my voice cracking a little. I winced internally, berating myself for my stupidity. _Seriously, "nice room"? - oh my god, I'm such a loser._

He didn't say anything, just gave a slight nod in response. My hands had begun to fiddle with the hem of my shirt, my fingers twisting and creasing the cotton material.

The silence was awkward and heavy, weighing down upon me like the heavy blanket Renee used to insist I cover myself with when sick, whether I needed it or not. I wanted to push the burden away and hide it on the top shelf in the hallway closet like I would when she left for work, but this wasn't as easy, it wasn't as simple as an unwanted piece of fabric.

I couldn't put it away with the old clothing that no longer fit, yet refused to be thrown out. I couldn't grimace at the dust collected on old shoe boxes. I couldn't close the door behind it and walk away.

My eyes found an old gramophone player in the corner of the room, my feet unconsciously moved towards it. It didn't fit with the rest of the room, and as my feet continued to move me forward, I started to notice other things my eyes didn't register upon first study. There were pictures – a lot of them - some in old frames, others not. Leather bound journals were stacked untidily on a shelf above his desk, not in keeping with the otherwise mostly organized room.

I allowed my hands to roam the wooden base, careful to avoid the needle, or stylus as I'd learned from an elderly woman who frequented the same library in Phoenix as I had every Thursday. She always wore the brightest red lipstick, and had these giant glasses that took up half of her face. I'd listen to her talk for hours without complaint. She was lonely, I could always tell, yet I never brought it up. Sometimes it was nice to have someone different to talk to, even if it was only for a few hours once a week.

I'd seen these old players in antique store windows on the many trips Renee and I used to take in the first week of every summer, but I had never seen one up close like this before. After reading Rumpelstiltskin as a child, I'd become mildly fascinated with spinning wheels and antique devices, so I couldn't help but smile at the fact he owned one of these.

"Does it still work?" I asked, dragging my hand away. I tucked the few strands of hair that had fallen across my face upon my perusal behind my ear, wishing I had a tie with me to keep it out of the way.

"It does," he answered me, the creak of the mattress letting me know he'd shifted. I bit the side of my lip as I turned to face him, my gaze settling on the slip of skin below his navel. He was lying across his bed, his hands palming his eyes, his chest rising in a steady ascent before falling.

I wanted to straddle his hips and peel his shirt from his skin. I wanted to run my hands down his chest as I asked him question after question about himself. It frightened me how much I just _wanted._

"Why am I in here, Edward?" I whispered. "I don't understand." His hands fell from his face with a sigh, his eyes focusing on the ceiling above him.

"Honestly?" he asked. "I have no idea." I furrowed my brows, not satisfied with his answer. He must have an idea, an inkling. This was out of character for him, there _had_ to be reason.

"Then why don't I believe you?" I said as I hesitated beside his bed. I didn't want to climb on without permission, it just felt _weird_.

He snapped his gaze to me, eyes hard and squinted. "I'm pretty sure I know my own mind, thanks," he said in an unfriendly tone. I felt the burn of irritation start to smolder in my veins, my cheeks warm. I didn't have to touch the skin to feel this.

"So there's no explanation?" I said angrily. "You just thought, 'hey, I know, I'll take Bella with me to bed, for no reason whatsoever'. That's such bullshit, Edward."

"Well then tell me, Miss 'I know everything'. What the fuck do you want me say? Or better yet, why do _you_ think I dragged you in here with me, huh?" He looked so angry, so frustrated. I could feel tears threatening to flood my eyes, but I wouldn't let him see me upset like this. I was tired again, fed up with his shitty attitude.

"I'm going to my own room," I said, walking hastily around the bed to get the door. I could feel him watching me, every nerve at attention. I saw him move from my periphery, my feet moved faster in response. I wanted to leave. Now.

Arms encircled my waist, his chest at my back as I struggled against him. "Don't go," he whispered against my ear, the warmth of his breath triggering goosebumps to spread across my skin. He still sounded annoyed, but not as angry.

"I don't want to be here," I replied as I weakly tried to pry his joined hands apart. "I want to sleep."

"You can sleep here," he said lowly, moving my hair to my opposite shoulder as his lips peppered kisses on the back of my neck. I closed my eyes as his tongue lightly touched my skin, his teeth grazing certain areas that made me melt further into his frame.

I twisted around in his arms, looking up into his guarded eyes. "And if I say no?" I questioned, my palms flat to his chest.

He flicked his eyes away for a second and quickly licked his lips before replying. "You won't."

Sparks of hot fury burst through my body. He didn't know me like he thought he did. He didn't get to decide what I agreed to. He always did this to me, gave confident and arrogant answers that riled me up. I didn't know whether he did it on purpose, or whether I was overreacting. Either way they left me determined to do the complete opposite.

I tried to pull away again, and this time he let me. I frowned, expecting more of a fight. I felt disappointed he'd let me go so easily. This was so fucked up. I was so fucked up.

I took a few steps backwards before I pulled my eyes from his heated green, leaving the door open as I crossed the hall.

I slumped against the wall in my bathroom, my back sliding down the cool expanse until I was sitting on the cold ceramic tiles, the change in temperature a welcome change after the heated argument moments ago. I pulled my knees to my chest and rested my forehead against them. I couldn't do this any more... the lying, the cheating, the arguing, the guilt.

I was feeling that now. Guilt. My conscience telling me over and over that I'd done something wrong. Again.

He'd opened himself up to me, shown me a piece of himself, and I'd shoved it back at him and left. _Would he even care?_ I squeezed my eyes shut, not knowing the answer to that. It shouldn't have mattered _why _he wanted me with him. I should have actions were hurtful, and I'd been doing that too much lately to the people I cared about.

The drum of my heart sped its tempo. Did I care about Edward enough to apologize? Did I care for him at all? The pace of my pulse told me _yes_, while my head told me _no_. I liked him. When he wasn't talking, it was hard not to. He was incredibly good looking, and I wasn't blind or ignorant to his charms. I wanted him in physical ways I'd never wanted anyone else. But was that it? Was that enough? Was any of this even worth all this pain and hassle?

I wanted to visit my mom and lie on the ground in front of our old house with the sun on my face as I stared at the cloudless sky. I wanted to prick myself on the same cactus plant I always managed to scrape myself on and see the red dots appear on my skin. I wanted my mom to tell me it would be okay and place a band-aid over it. I wanted the quick and easy fix.

I eventually got to my feet and stared at my reflection in the mirror. My hair was a mess from falling asleep, my skin blotchy and eyes a little red around the rims. I looked like shit, the anxiety evident in my features.

I rinsed my face and brushed my teeth, pulling a brush quickly through my tresses before gathering it up into a ponytail. I flicked the light switch as I exited the bathroom and walked over to the bed to change into my pyjamas. I slid the short and tank set on before changing my mind and put on full length pyjama bottoms instead. I folded my clothes neatly into a pile, depositing them on the chaise once I'd finished. I was avoiding, doing anything I could to put off going to him. I was being ridiculous and stubborn.

After folding the clothes for a third time I took a deep breath and made my way over to his room.

His door was slightly ajar, a slither of light escaping into the unlit hallway. I hesitated, telling myself he was probably asleep or busy... well as busy as he could be at two in the morning. I was trying to think up any scenario in which he wouldn't want to see me, wouldn't be there for me to talk to... to apologize to.

_You're being fucking stupid. Just open the door, say... something, then you can go to sleep and have dreams of blonde hair and blue eyes and doctor's coats. And maybe a wheely chair also, as they always look fun. I wonder if I should just go see if Doctor Cullen's awake instead... I'm sure he'd be full of great advice. I bet he even has a wheely chair in his office..._

I didn't get to continue my thought as my hands were somehow pushing the door open without conscious thought, my eyes immediately landed on skin... so much skin.

Edward was standing in front of his desk, his back to me, in nothing but his underwear. Yes I'd seen him in his swimming trunks before, but this was a more intimate setting. It somehow felt different.

My body began to blaze, my face and chest flushing. I didn't want to move, I simply wanted to continue looking at him, appreciate the sight. The muscles in his back stretched as he leaned forward to switch off his computer, my eyes following the movement. _Good God look at that ass..._

I was in some lust induced haze, ogling him shamelessly as he stood unaware of my presence. My hands were clenched together, squeezing as I tried to stop myself from walking any further. There was a bed, a mostly naked Edward, and a very horny me. Chances were I'd be flinging myself at him at any second if I gave in to my dirty mind.

His body suddenly froze, his head turned slightly to look over his shoulder. His eyes swept my body, up and down and back again. I was biting my lip so hard I was sure I'd pierce the skin. I licked my lip to soothe the ache, his gaze focusing on my mouth as I did so. He was making everything so difficult. I simply wanted to apologize, then leave, but it was impossible to think clearly when he was looking at me like that, dressed as he was.

My nipples were pressing against my cotton tank top, craving attention. I wanted to put a sign on my breasts: _"Free to a Loving Home."_ Preferably his hands - or his mouth - being that particular home.

He was walking forward, trapping me in his salacious gaze. My mouth parted, my breaths becoming shaky.

The back of his hand slid from my elbow to my wrist, his eyes never once leaving mine. My skin felt tingly and warm. I wanted him to do it again. I was moving, his hand guiding me as he pulled me forward.

He was abruptly fully in front of me, leaning into me, chest to chest. I pushed into him, lashes fluttering as I closed my eyes. I heard the door click behind us, my back touched the smooth, painted wood.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, his breath ghosting my lips. My eyes snapped open, confused and shocked. I opened my mouth to speak, the words getting caught in my throat. I wasn't expecting this from him.

"Why are you apologizing?" I questioned lowly. His brows furrowed as I continued. "I was being stupid... overreacting."

"No, I..." he took a deep breath. "I snapped at you, and I shouldn't have. I'm easily frustrated I guess," he said while shrugging. He dropped his gaze to the floor as he took a step away. I wanted to pull him back.

"I'm sorry too," I whispered, smiling slightly at his raised brow. "What?" I asked, glancing down at myself nervously.

"Well, look at us being all polite and shit," he smirked. "Anyone would think you didn't hate me after all."

I smiled. "I don't hate you," I told him, instantly blushing.

"No?" he questioned seriously, eyes searching my face.

"No," I answered truthfully. I wanted to tell him that I didn't think I ever did, but I wasn't ready for that, maybe never would be.

He regarded me silently for a few more seconds before speaking again. "Are you staying?" he asked wearily, glancing at me quickly before running his hand through his hair. I was torn, unsure if that was such a good idea. I wouldn't bring it up again tonight, but I still had no idea why he was doing any of this. My trust was hard to earn, and he didn't have it yet.

He seemed to be the same way – keeping everyone at a comfortable distance - yet bringing me into his personal space spoke volumes. I just didn't know what his reasons were, and until I was positive he wasn't playing more games, I would continue to be cautious and protect my heart.

If I lowered the drawbridge, allowed him inside, I was sure he'd bring me continuous hurt. He affected me so wholly at times that I knew I'd find it difficult to let him leave. I'd raise the bridge and accept the pain he caused, time and time again. It would become unhealthy, damaging, but I wouldn't care.

Edward had the ability to draw you in, ensnare you until he got bored. If I didn't keep that gap between us, I'd become engulfed in green and red, and sink. I wouldn't be resurfacing.

He was the wrong person for me to have any type of feelings for. I wasn't in love, it wasn't simply lust, it was utter captivation.

"Bella?" His voice brought me from my thoughts and back to the present. He was in front of me again, eyes peering down at me as he awaited my answer.

"Do you want me to stay?" I asked instead of giving him a straight answer. I wanted to find out his feelings before expressing my own.

He looked away and shrugged, his hand rubbing along his jaw. "Well, you're here now, so..." He shrugged again, a light hue colouring his cheeks. Was he embarrassed?

"Edward, are you blushing?" I teased, reaching forward to pinch his cheek. He scoffed and pushed my hand away.

"No," he said, clearing his throat.

"Don't be embarrassed, I think it's cute," I smiled, biting my lip as I tried not to laugh.

He raised a brow while pressing me against the door. "I think this is cute," he said, nodding to my ponytail. "And these," he whispered as he tugged at my pyjama bottoms that mortifyingly enough happened to be covered in little teddy bears. "This is definitely cute," he said as he leaned forward and kissed the tip of my nose. "And your boobs are undeniably cute too," he winked.

I laughed and pushed him away. "So weird."

He smirked. "So now I'm weird? Weirdly cute? Or just plain weird?"

I pursed my lips as I pretended to mull it over. "A little of both, I think."

He let out an exaggerated breath. "Thank God. Weirdly cute I can handle, but being plain weird would have taken some getting over." I shook my head, smiling at him.

"Perhaps I should take a little more time to decide," I shrugged.

His hands came to rest at my hips as he shook his head. "No, you can't go back on your word now. You missed your chance. Sorry."

"You don't give second chances?" I asked.

He eyes drifted over my face. "Not usually."

The atmosphere had shifted – it didn't seem like we were teasing anymore. His thumbs were rubbing softly at the exposed skin at my hips, his hands warm. I wove my own hands around his neck, intending to my press my lips to his, but he turned his head at the last second, my mouth touching his cheek instead.

I shouldn't have been hurt, I shouldn't have been surprised. I shouldn't have wanted it in the first place.

I tried not to let my feelings show on my face as I kissed his cheek. I tried not to notice the tension in his jaw. I tried not to notice how he wouldn't look at me as he picked me up and lowered me onto his bed.

His lips trailed down my neck and along the swell of my breasts, his tongue darting out to taste my skin. My head was against his pillows, my palms flat on his sheets. My heart was beating rapidly as his hands started to push my top over my stomach, his mouth following the moving cotton.

I grasped his shoulders as he sucked a nipple into his mouth. His hand found my other breast, teasing and pinching and making me ache in other places. I sat and raised my arms above my head as I allowed him to remove the item of clothing, watching his fingers trace my collarbone.

His lips were at my ear as I lay back, his hand traveling down my stomach. "Can I kiss you?" he asked, his voice sending shivers, that didn't belong to the temperature of the room, down my spine.

"But, I tried..."

"I don't mean your mouth, Bella," he voiced as he pulled back slightly to finally look at me. I was confused. His eye were hooded, his hand at the waistband of my bottoms. _Oh. My. God._

"I – I told you last week, no one's ever done that to me before," I admitted. He continued to stare at me, seemingly unaffected by my words.

"Do you not want me to?" he asked, his hand moving across my skin, from one hip to the other. _Yes._

"Trust me," he whispered as he slid down my body. I simply nodded, speech failing me.

His fingers hooked into the waistband, pulling the material from my legs. His palms ran along my skin, up my thighs, parting them slightly as he settled between them. He'd left my underwear on, the simple white panties the only item left covering me.

He kissed the inside of my thighs, moving up and up and up. He kissed me through the cotton, making me gasp. He kissed me where no one had before.

His touches were light and gentle – it felt _so_ good. I suddenly hated the fact that there was material in the way, so when he looked at me for reassurance that it was okay to remove the last piece of clothing, I nearly cried in relief and elation. I nodded, my cheeks warm and no doubt full of colour. He pulled them down slowly, keeping his gaze on his movement.

I was a little embarrassed to be completely bare to him like this. I was mostly comfortable with my body, but then, I didn't go around showing my nudity to all of my neighbours. This was a little different than just seeing yourself when in the shower or something. This was someone else looking at you, someone else seeing your vulnerability.

He was staring at me, _right there,_ as he parted my legs once more. I had the urge to cover my face with one of his pillows, but reached instead for my discarded shirt. I didn't even get it further than a few centimeters before he pulled it from my grasp.

"Don't," he said while shaking his head. "Just don't."

I swallowed heavily and nodded, taking a deep breath as I tried to will my unease away. I wanted to send it on a permanent vacation with expensive looking luggage. Maybe the ones with wheels at the bottom for a faster getaway. Then I felt his mouth on me and didn't give a shit how embarrassed I was. I never wanted him to stop.

His tongue was moving – exploring – and his hands were holding my waist as I began to writhe on the bed. "Hold still, Bella," he admonished as he removed his head from between my legs. I raised my top half off the mattress as I rested back on my elbows, gazing down at him with a frown.

"What? No, don't stop," I begged in a breathless voice. He smirked, holding my gaze as he lowered his mouth back to me, his tongue immediately stroking the bundle of nerves that made me see stars and praise God.

"Holy shit!" I said loudly, trembling as I tried to hold myself up. His eyes were _so_ green as he continued to perform magic tricks with his tongue.

I was panting, my hips pushing themselves from the bed – everything felt _so_ good. As soon as I felt a finger slide inside me I fell back to the sheets, unable to continue looking at him while he was pleasuring me like that. It was too much and not enough. My chest was rising and falling in rapid succession, my skin flushed and clammy with exertion. My hands twisted themselves in his sheets as I moaned and begged and moved. And as he flicked his tongue against me again and again and again I couldn't stop my hands from fisting his hair as wave after wave of pure bliss assaulted my body. He groaned and sped his movements, his finger curling and stroking and oh-my-fucking-God. I was shaking as I screamed into his pillow, the intensity almost unbearable.

I couldn't breathe, couldn't move. My limbs were heavy yet weightless, my mind numb. My fingers untangled themselves from his hair and fell clumsily at my sides. My eyes were staring blindly at the ceiling as I felt him lie beside me, his hand pushing the escaped strands of hair from my face. I turned to face him, wanting to thank him... anything.

"Breathe Bella," he whispered, a hint of a smile at his lips. I hadn't realized I'd stopped. I wanted to sink into his covers and sleep for hours with his warmth beside me, but then his mouth was on my neck again, and then a little further down. I should have been grossed out after he'd just had his mouth on my most private area, but I wasn't.

He was pressed against my side, his erection evident against my hip. I tilted my head back further against the pillows, giving him more room to work with. My hands roamed the pale skin of his back as I pulled him on top of me, wanting to feel his full weight. I was like ivy as I wrapped myself around him, wanting to tie him to me.

He was shifting against my still sensitive core, hips meeting hips as I pushed back against him. He was hard and needy and I wondered if he wanted me to reciprocate. I wanted to make him feel good.

"I need to be inside you Bella," he breathed against my neck. "I want to feel you. All of you." I froze, my breaths once again becoming shaky. I wasn't expecting that.

His lips were still attached to my skin as I started to panic. He noticed.

He pulled back to look at me, eyes confused. "What's wrong?" he asked softly, cautiously. I shook my head, trying to indicate I was fine. I could feign tiredness and tell him nothing. I could lie... we were good at being deceitful.

"Tell me," he insisted again, his gaze fierce.

I'd been dreading this moment, hoping it would never arrive. I was happy to live in denial for as long as possible when it came to this subject. His fingers were playing with the ends of my hair as he stared hard and determined. I wanted to close my eyes and pretend. Pretend that he wasn't waiting for an answer. Pretend that he wouldn't care when he found out. Pretend that I wouldn't be hurt when he ultimately decided he'd had enough.

"I'm not ready for that," I said quickly, my words tumbling from my mouth as quickly as possible in case I lost my nerve. He closed his eyes and nodded, a long sigh released from his nose.

"No, yeah, that's fine. Whenever you're ready," he told me seriously. He still didn't get it... I still didn't want to tell him.

"No, I don't think you understand," I whispered, wanting to look away, but couldn't. I was trapped in woven green nets as my insides fluttered, wanting to break free.

"I don't know when I'll be ready." I was blushing and biting my lip, taking my nervous energy out on the delicate flesh. I wanted to pull away from him, the situation, and hide. "You see, I've... I've never been with anyone – ever – like... _that_." His cheeks instantly lost their colour. It was like sucking the colourant from a popsicle. The colour would disappear on the tongue leaving you with just pale ice.

"You're a virgin?" he asked in shock. I swallowed the nervous lump in my throat and nodded. His body was acting as the anchor while all I wanted to do was float out to sea by myself as I drowned out my thoughts with salt water and the sound of angry waves.

"I'm sorry," I murmured, his brows furrowing as I did so.

"Why the fuck are you _apologizing_?" he questioned, his body lifting itself from mine as he moved to sit on the edge of his bed, chin pushed to his chest as his head drooped.

"You're angry," I said, pulling a sheet quickly around my naked form. He groaned, fists rubbing his eyes.

"I'm not angry," he voiced, knee bouncing.

"You seem angry," I informed him, bringing my knees to my chest as I wrapped my arms around myself.

"Fuck Bella, I just told you I'm not," he snapped, hands grasping his wayward hair. "Why do you have to disagree with everything I say? When I tell you I'm not angry, I'm not. Jesus Christ."

"Sorry," I repeated for what felt like the hundredth time today.

He turned to face me, eyes dark. "And stop fucking saying that," he shouted, pinching the bridge of his nose.

I didn't know what to say, what to do. His reaction was confusing. He said he wasn't angry, yet his demeanor all but screamed it.

"Why didn't you tell me?" he queried, looking at me with an unreadable expression.

"What do you mean? I just did," I told him, anxiously glancing around the room for my pyjamas. I suddenly wanted to be clothed. I wanted to hide. He let out a bitter laugh.

"I was about to strip my boxers and reach for a condom," he said through clenched teeth. "Don't you think you should have spoken up long before we started this?" he questioned while motioning between the two of us.

"What, you don't think I've been thinking about it?" I snapped, my own anger shining through. "You don't think this whole situation is so incredibly mortifying for me that I want to cry? Shit, Edward. There's you with all this experience that I don't have. You may think I have it, but I don't. I'm not that girl," I said with a fist to my chest. "I get shy, I have insecurities. I was embarrassed to speak about it, so I simply said nothing." I turned my head away from him as I tried to get a hold on my emotions.

I pulled the tie from my hair; half of it had come loose now anyway. I reached over the edge of the bed for my top and panties, quickly slipping them both on as the heady silence continued to reign over us. It was heavy and repressing. I felt like I was choking, my legs dying to carry me to the doors and let in the chill of the night's air.

It had started to rain, harsh beads thumping against the windows and glass doors. They matched the tears that threatened to roll down my cheeks. I'd always had a desire to dance in the rain with a smile on my face as each separate drop of liquid stuck to my skin. I was aching for that feeling now. I wanted to replace this despondency with glee.

Fingers were unexpectedly on mine, trying to provide comfort. I momentarily got my glee, however fleetingly it lasted.

I tilted my head slightly to the side to look at him, to pull secrets from his orbs, but his eyes were glued to the cream wall in front him, his expression broody. I wanted to see what he saw, I wanted to hear what he thought. I wanted black and white pictures like an old fashioned movie screen to play out in a flickering fashion.

He shifted and unknowingly destroyed the scene. The film roll torn. "I can't be that person, Bella," he said without turning to me. "I won't be the asshole that takes that from you." What he once again didn't realize was that it was mine to give, not his to take. Not everything was solely about him.

"And if I want you to be?" I asked even though I had no idea what would happen in the future. I didn't know what would happen tomorrow, or in the next five minutes. It made no difference to the overall outcome.

"Then change your mind," he stated resolutely. He looked almost mildly disgusted. I pondered, everything became clear like the clouds that parted to reveal a flawless blue sky.

"You don't want to any more, do you?" I asked in a small voice. I knew this would happen. This was the moment where he severed all ties as things had gotten a little too serious for his non-committal world.

"Oh no, I want to," he said seriously, finally meeting my eyes. "A lot."

"Then I don't see what the problem is," I murmured, glancing at our hands. "Can't we just cross that bridge when – or if – we come to it?" This wasn't supposed to be serious. It was supposed to be nothing. Absolutely nothing. Although, I wasn't sure it wasn't _nothing_ for me anymore.

"You'll end up regretting it," he said with a sigh. "You might think you won't, but you will."

I went to speak but he held up his hand with a pleading look. "It wouldn't change anything if we slept together. I would still be the same Edward who won't go out on dates or pick you flowers. I wouldn't suddenly become your boyfriend and buy you Valentine's gifts and kiss you goodnight." His expression was nothing but honest... I had to look away.

"So trust me when I say that you would most definitely regret it."

I focused on the chocolate shaded sheets, everything about this room exuding a warmness I didn't expect. Rich colourings, comforting novels and smooth skin. There were no icy blues here.

"You can't know that," I whispered as I pulled my hand from his. "I knew what I was getting myself into before I agreed to any of this. I know that isn't you, Edward." He simply shrugged.

"We'll agree to disagree on this one," he sighed, rubbing his forehead.

"So what now?" I queried. I was at a loss if he didn't want to carry on talking. I could see he'd closed this chapter for another time, despite the fact I wanted to carry on reading.

"Sleep," he said, with a small smile. "I'm tired." He slid under the covers beside me, scooting to the opposite side of the bed. I hesitated for split second before laying my head upon his pillows, surrounded by the smell of his soap while wrapped in his soft sheets.

"You're wrong you know," I whispered after a few minutes of simply watching the downpour through the windows. "I wouldn't expect you to change yourself." I was being truthful, I wasn't stupid enough to think he'd do things differently just because he happened to be fooling around with me. I was the flavour of the month. He wanted plain old vanilla this time, but soon enough his cravings would change. He'd end up wanting strawberry. I couldn't compete with that.

The covers rustled. "I never said you would," he replied as he reached behind him to switch off the lamp.

"But you just said..."

"Please, let's just leave it," he sighed, a slight hint of _something_ in his voice. I wanted to ask him so many questions; I hated that I couldn't.

The room was submerged in black and slate as the light ebbed immediately, nothing but a flash of what _was_ remaining behind my eyes as flashes abruptly assaulted my sight.

His back was to me as we both remained silent, the expanse of his skin still visible in the dark. It was a weird feeling to be sleeping next to him like this, but I found I wasn't uncomfortable. I wanted to inch my way closer to him, settle behind him and share his warmth.

"Bella?" he said into the darkness, breaking me from my reverie.

"Yeah?" I answered, my eyes refusing to open as sleep tried to take me.

"I – I'm..." There was more silence before he let out a long breath. "Goodnight."

I wouldn't push him for more. I wouldn't ask him what he wanted to say. I wouldn't think about it tonight.

"Night, Edward." Nothing more was said. I clutched the pillow closer to my face and hoped tomorrow would be clearer.

OoOoO

When I woke I expected purple sheets and the sound of Charlie's cruiser pulling into the driveway as he arrived home from work. Instead, I was greeted with the sun pouring through opened curtains and an arm that certainly wasn't mine around my waist. My face was pressed into something firm, yet soft. I rubbed my face against it, feeling a rumble against my cheek as I did so._ Holy fuck, did Charlie get a dog? Or a cat? _I hated cats, they freaked me out with their "all seeing" eyes. Plus their eyes were yellow, like some mutant creature or something. They lived off a diet of mice and milk. They were freaks. Then again, I wasn't much of a dog person either. They were always wagging their tails at absolutely nothing, seemingly in a constant state of happy._ Fuckers. _The only reason they're known as "a man's best friend" is because they love everyone. _I bet kibble is equivalent to crack for those furry buddies._

I cracked an eye open and pulled back a little, my nose scrunching against the morning light. The face in front of me was unmistakable, like the sun on a hot summer's day or snow left over from a storm. _God, I really had to stop reading Shakespeare at night when emo. As soon as I start using "thou art" in every day speech I'm checking myself into a clinic for the neck-brace loving, frilly-sleeved obsessives. _

I simply lay there for a few minutes and watched him sleep. I took in the length of his lashes and how they'd occasionally flutter when a twitch seized his eyelid. I took in the muted red of his lips as he breathed softly through an open mouth. His hair was a disaster zone, tornado warnings for sure.

"Bella, stop staring at me," he mumbled, his voice still thick with sleep. I instantly blushed.

"See, I told you you're a freak. Your eyes aren't even open. You can't possibly know whether I was staring at you," I told him as I bunched the covers tighter to my chest, resisting the urge to snuggle against him.

"I'm special. It's one of my many gifts," he said into his pillow.

"Weird," I teased.

"Weirdly cute if I remember rightly," he yawned, a small smile making way to a smirk.

"There's nothing remotely cute about you this morning, Cullen. Seeing you at this time of day is making me rethink our arrangement. You're not as pretty as I thought you were," I sighed, pretending to be disappointed. He opened his eyes at this, a pout on his lips.

"You don't think I'm cute anymore?" he said, making stupid faces at me. I rolled my eyes, trying and failing to hide my smile.

"Maybe just a little," I said while leaving a very small gap between my thumb and pointer finger to give a visual aspect to my words.

"Only a little?" He asked, moving closer to me with a dangerous look in his eyes.

I took a deep breath. "A very little." He smiled at me all crookedly, so devastatingly handsome in that moment I had to stop myself from running my hand across his cheek and through his hair as I thought about how unfair it was he had to look like this.

"You talk in your sleep, you know?" he told me, playing with my hair that was strewn across his pillows. "You even said my name once." I felt my cheeks heat and my mouth become dry.

My mom had told me I did, and would regale me with tales of random mumblings about Mr. Darcy and root beer floats. I apparently liked to party with men who received ten thousand pounds a year. _Oh my god, I was a gold-digger in my sleep._ I cleared my throat.

"Was I speaking about plans to maim?" I questioned, trying to hold the laugh that was bubbling inside my chest from exploding.

"No," he replied with a snort.

"Couldn't have been me then," I sighed, moving to lie on my back as I stretched. I turned my head and laughed at his expression.

"So serious," I pouted. "Not funny? Do you need to brood some more before you can smile? What about if I told you that you have creases on you right cheek from sleeping funny on your pillow?" I teased. "Do you need a mirror? Will that make it better?"

"Oh that's it." He rolled over onto me, immediately tickling my sides as I writhed and laughed while trying to push him off me. Then we both seemed to just stop, the smiles fading from our lips as last night's conversation came back to haunt us.

I wanted to put his smile back and lighten the mood once more. I hated this feeling, hated seeing him like this. I said the first thing that popped into my head.

"You know, a cold shower will help you get rid of that," I voiced, my eyes widening ever so slightly as I realized what I'd just said. He brows met in the middle, lips pursed.

"Get rid of what?" he queried, his elbows still resting beside my head.

"Your "peeping Tom" under the covers," I mumbled, glancing away, completely embarrassed. He laughed so loudly I was sure he'd wake the others and they'd run up here to see what he was apparently so funny.

"I can think of better ways to calm its perving behaviour," he said with a wink. I pushed him off me, rolling my eyes as he laughed again.

My eyes found his clock on his bedside table, my muscles tightening as my brain told me it was time to leave. It was an instant reaction to leaving his side that I wasn't expecting. It scared me a little.

I had to get home and do some laundry and see Charlie before Jacob came over. I was supposed to spend the day with him, and while I loved his company, loved him as any friend would, I didn't want to leave this bed. I knew I would have to try to speak to Jacob again. I knew I would have to tell him I just didn't feel the way he did. I knew I would have to hide other reasons from him, reasons that would hurt him.

I sighed and sat, my hands making their way into my hair. "I've got to go," I told him, sparing a swift look his way. His palms were against his bare chest as he simply lay there and watched me.

"Yeah," he replied, exhaling a deep breath. I gave him a sad smile as I slipped out from under the covers, the morning chill hitting my bare legs as I fumbled to put my pyjama bottoms back on after finding them bundled at the foot of the bed.

I didn't know what to say. Did I just leave without saying anything? Hell if I knew. I'd never done this before. It wasn't so much the morning-after awkwardness you saw in movies with characters after a one night stand, but the atmosphere was still strange and foreign. I couldn't help but feel a little self-conscious.

"I'll probably see you later," he told me as I was hesitating by his door. I gave a nod in reply, my eyes taking one last sweep of his room before I grasped the handle.

"So... um, yeah. Nice room," I said with a smile as I walked out, his smirk the last thing I saw as I closed the door.

OoOoO

I'd only gotten to see Alice for a few minutes after changing into my clothes from yesterday before I popped down to the den to tell them I had to go. Rose and Em had gone, no doubt Em's stomach had demanded food at some point and had woken them both up.

Alice was making mini braids in Jasper's hair as he slept. I had to hold in a laugh at the sight of half his wavy locks already done. He'd be so pissed when he woke up. Alice promised to take a photo of the finished product for me. She blew me a kiss as I waved and asked her to call me later.

I found myself feeling light and happy as I made my way down the Cullen driveway. There were puddles on the ground, the sun was in the sky and a rainbow had arched itself around the Clearwater house.

Then storm clouds loomed as I spotted Jake sitting on my porch steps. He didn't look unhappy, and he smiled at me, but the guilt that hit me every time I saw the curve and lift of his lips left me breathless. I had to tell him.

"Hey Bells," he greeted as he jumped from the top step to give me a big hug. I stiffly returned his embrace. He placed a kiss on my forehead as he pulled back, frowning slightly as he looked at something below my neck area.

"What?" I queried, wondering if I'd gotten toothpaste on myself again after brushing my teeth. It wouldn't have been the first time.

"You've got a little bruise, right there," he told me, his finger just below my collarbone. I held my breath. _No... he, wouldn't._

"You know me," I tried to say jokingly. "It's probably from one of my many trips to the ground." I rolled my eyes and he snorted... then stopped.

"It wasn't there yesterday, though," he stated as he looked at it again. _Shit. _

"I had an unfortunate fight with one of Esme's house plants last night," I laughed, walking up the steps with a tilt of my head to let him know to follow me inside. He barked out a chuckle, relief seeping from my body in a steady stream. Edward had marked me, knowing that someone else would see it, that I would see it, and he didn't care. I was so angry, and yet something else simmered under the surface that I couldn't think about right now.

We settled on the sofa, his arm immediately going around my shoulders to draw me closer. I heard water running upstairs, comforted that Charlie was home. Hopefully he'd keep Jake distracted enough not to notice my growing anxieties.

"You look tired," I told him as I studied his face. He yawned, confirming my words. I ruffled his hair.

"Yeah, last night was a little crazy. And not in the good sense," he added with a shake of his head. I turned around so I look at him better, one leg curled under the other.

"What happened?" I asked, grabbing his hand. He was my friend, and I was a hypocrite, but I didn't like to see him down.

"Quil and Paul got into a pretty bad fight last night," he sighed. "Quil's girlfriend broke up with him last week – he hadn't told any of us – and well, he caught them fucking in Paul's car that was parked in Embry's driveway. Needless to say punches were thrown." He rubbed his chest and I didn't say anything.

"What's worse is Quil's fine with Claire," he said with a bitter chuckle and raised brows. "He even dropped her off home afterwards as she was so upset, but he won't speak to Paul... won't even look at him." He was quiet... I was quiet. The water had been turned off upstairs.

"He thinks they'd been seeing each other nearly the whole time they were together," he told me with a tight jaw. "He still loves her... I just don't know what to tell him, you know? Paul is my friend too, but I have to take sides. I can't not."

I nodded jerkily, squeezing his hand. If I had to speak now, I would crack and the dam would open.

"If someone did that to me I wouldn't be as forgiving." My palm was sweaty in his, and I prayed he didn't think anything of it. I thought I was going to be sick, my nerves frayed like torn denim.

I was staring into the deepest brown, drowning in quicksand. I was selfish and didn't want to lose him. I had decisions to make and no right answers.

I wanted to turn back time and go back to a boy with soft sheets and green eyes. I wanted to drift off to the sound of rain in a bed that slept two hearts attempting to beat as one, and two minds desperately trying to understand the other.

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	22. Chapter 22

**Hey everyone! Firstly, I'd like to apologize for this chapter taking longer than usual. I wrote a one-shot for the slash backslash 2.0 contest which is currently taking place, so I had to fit them both in this month. Thank you for all you PM's and messages, not to mention taking the time to review. I truly appreciate each and every one.**

**Like I said above, I entered another contest. "The Kindness of Strangers" - it's the first time I've attempted slash - and present tense - so if you like boy lovin', I would love if you gave it a look. The first round of voting closes this Sunday, so please vote for your favourites. Link is on my profile. :)**

**Thank you to my awesome and lovely beta SusanQ - she is amazing. And thanks to Jedigirlsc for pre-reading. She has the best eagle eyes, ever.**

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer still owns Twilight and all its characters. If she read what I'd done to them, she'd probably cry.**

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Edward

I found myself still in bed long after Bella had gone; last night's events played over and over in my head in an endless loop. I'd been restless most of the night while she'd slept beside me, whispers and mumblings of her dreams leaving her mouth as she lay in slumber.

I'd watched her for a while, watched as her breaths evened out, watched as her lashes rested upon her cheeks.

My mind couldn't stop the torrent of questions that assailed me as I gazed at her. I was still in shock, completely surprised at her revelations concerning her experience. I never thought she'd say those words to me. I didn't know why it bothered me, it shouldn't have, but it did. James had been right the whole time when voicing about this _innocence_ that she seemed to emit. I never saw it. Not once. She was always so confident around me – around other boys – she didn't fit the mold of someone who hadn't experienced those things.

I wanted to take her last night, I wanted to not care. I wanted to feel her all around me as she moaned out my name. I'd never taken a girls virginity before, and if I was being honest, it kind of freaked me out. It was supposed to be special for them, candles and love and happy memories. They apparently – according to Alice's many magazines I'd flipped through when bored – never forgot their first time.

For boys it was completely different. We mainly just wanted to get off, the main worry not finishing within the first two minutes. My first time had been with a girl named Amy on a school trip back in Chicago. She was there with a different school, both groups staying in the same hotel. She was blonde and cute and one thing had led to another. She was two years older than I'd been at the time, and was experienced. I'd thought it was great that she'd taken an interest in me, but looking back on it now I was just glad I hadn't shot my load after thirty seconds. It felt so good, completely different than what I'd thought it would feel like. Better, even.

I'd never been the person that someone could look back to like that. I didn't want to be that person for Bella, either. That would forever tie us together... and that scared the shit out of me.

I knew I felt differently about her now, but _differently_ didn't necessarily mean anything solid. Obviously I liked our physical relationship – if you could even call it that – and the more time I spent with her, the more I wanted to continue doing so. It was a vicious circle. I couldn't win. This was never meant to be anything so complicated. I didn't want to walk down the school hallways holding her hand and drop her off at her classes with a kiss to the cheek, but I didn't want anyone else to either.

My hands fisted my hair as I fought the urge to cry out in frustration. I wanted to pace and curse and get out of my own head. I needed distractions that I wouldn't find here. I needed to get out of the house.

I finally got out of bed and walked to my bathroom to brush my teeth. I stared at my reflection as I moved the toothbrush across my pearly whites, noticing the dark circles under my eyes from lack of sleep. There was nothing I could do about them, they were simply an unfortunate reminder that I had a lot on my mind. I rinsed and gargled and quickly swilled my face with tepid water. I eyed the shower, but passed it, not wanting to be here any longer if not absolutely necessary.

My toe banged against the bedpost as I made my way to my closet, heavy curses leaving my mouth as I hissed at the awkward pain. I quickly got dressed - slipping on a pair of jeans and a shirt - and ran my hands through my hair to attempt to get it into some form of order. I grabbed my phone and keys before leaving my room.

The kitchen was empty as I went to get a quick drink, glad that I wouldn't have to converse with anyone right now. That feeling lasted about thirty seconds before I heard the unmistakable giggling belonging to Alice echoing out in the hallway. I chugged the last of my juice as I tried to make a quick getaway, swearing to myself lowly as I spilled some water down the front of my shirt.

"What the fuck did you do to your hair?" I said, choking on my surprised laughter as, Jazz – followed by a very smiley Alice – entered the kitchen. He looked fucking ridiculous - his hair full of mini braids - and from the mischievous grin plastered on my sister's face, it didn't take a genius to know she'd definitely been behind it.

"Do you even have to ask?" he mumbled, aiming a half-amused glare at his girlfriend.

"I think it suits you," she winked, dodging a ruffle to the hair. "You look so cool."

"Who the hell uses the word 'cool' anymore?" I asked with a glance to the door. My feet naturally moved in the direction of my gaze.

"Cool people, obviously," Jazz laughed while motioning between the two of them. Alice blew him a kiss that caused me to roll my eyes.

"OK, well I'm off," I said while opening the back door. "You two _cool_ kids have fun."

"I think he just realized how much of a loser he looked standing next to your awesomeness, Jazz, and that's why he's leaving," Alice teased in a sing-song voice.

"Right as ever, Sweetheart," Jasper replied with a wink. I groaned and closed the door behind me. They were impossible to be around when they were like that.

I jumped into my car, chucking my cell onto the empty passenger seat as I sought out my sunglasses. I started the ignition and rolled down my window before taking off. I didn't know where I wanted to go, I simply traveled down the driveway, my eyes drifting over to a house that didn't belong to me. I spotted the recognizable dark vehicle belonging to Jacob, my hands tightening around the wheel on impulse. I couldn't understand why she seemed to be so taken with him. She'd come to me for something she didn't want from him; did that mean she didn't find him attractive? That she didn't like him in a romantic or physical sense? She cared about him, I wasn't stupid, I knew this. I could see it in her eyes and expressions as she looked at him, the brightness in her orbs was a sure give-away.

Her actions were confusing and didn't make sense. I wanted to ask her about her true feelings towards him, but it was nothing to do with me. I couldn't demand things of her that I would never answer myself if the roles were reversed.

I'd ended up in the parking lot of Newton's, the diner busy. It was lunch time, which meant that there would be a wide array of the town's residents inside. Saturdays were always pretty active around there. It may only have been a small town, but the people who lived there were always out and about, not liking to stay indoors too much. They didn't let the rain - that fell more often than not - stop them from getting on with their day.

The bell above the door jingled as I stepped through, heads curiously turning my way to see who'd entered. Most people looked away immediately, not interested in me, but a particular face stuck out in the crowd.

Tanya was sitting at a booth by herself, my eyes automatically glanced around the diner to see if she was alone. I couldn't see Lauren or any of the usual girls who seemed to like her company anywhere. That surprised me. They didn't usually go anywhere on their own, preferring to go out in pairs or groups. She smiled and waved me over, her hair twisted onto the top of head, exposing her neck. She didn't have much make-up slapped on her face; she looked prettier this way, more natural. I took a deep breath and walked over, sliding onto the seat opposite her with a small smirk.

"Edward," she grinned.

"Tanya," I responded with a small smile of my own. "You here by yourself?" I asked her with a raised brow as I leaned back. I was pretty sure she was, but Lauren - or one of the others - could have simply been using the restroom.

"Yeah, I'm alone," she answered, her tongue swiftly running across her bottom lip. "You?" she inquired.

I smiled, ignoring the voice inside my head that spoke of another girl. "Yeah, all by myself."

"You sure you're not waiting for anyone?" she teased, leaning forward, her elbows resting on the table between us.

"No," I told her with a shrug. The way she was looking at me made me a little uneasy; her eyes were probing and slightly squinted, even in her jest. I didn't think she believed me.

"What?" I asked, feeling somewhat uncomfortable. She just shook her head in response.

"Nothing," she said, quickly clearing her throat. "You eating?" She picked up a menu and laid it flat on the table.

"Um, yeah," I replied, already knowing what I wanted to order.

Mike strolled over, his eyes permanently fixed to Tanya's chest. I rolled my eyes.

"Hi Tanya," he greeted as he stopped before us. She gave a half smile in return, quick to turn her attention back to the menu. His smile slid slowly from his face, his gaze drifting over to me. "Edward," he nodded. "So, you guys ready to order?"

I motioned for Tanya to speak first, waving my hand towards her for emphasis. "I'll have the chicken salad, no onions, tomato or dressing. Oh, and a glass of ice water." I sighed internally, not surprised at her choice. I doubted she'd had a burger in years, or if she did it probably came back up in a toilet somewhere. I was all for people choosing a healthy lifestyle, but a little bit of something other than rabbit food wouldn't kill you.

Mike jotted down her order before turning to me, pen poised and ready. "I'll have the steak with herb potatoes. And a chocolate milkshake, thanks," I said, not missing the way Tanya's nose wrinkled slightly in distaste.

"Sure thing," he replied as he scribbled my choices down. "Your orders will be right out." I thanked him again as he turned and left.

"Good weekend?" I asked, scratching the side of my jaw while waiting for her answer. She shrugged, pushing the menu to the opposite end of the table with the salt shakers.

"It was okay," she replied, twirling strands of hair from her ponytail around her finger. "The party last night was pretty fun," She hesitated, "although, I'm sure it would have been better if you'd been there." I raised a brow and smirked, only breaking eye contact when our drinks were delivered.

"Is that so?" I asked before taking a sip of my milkshake.

"Mmhm," she answered around a mouthful of water. "Most definitely."

"And why's that?" I queried, my fingertips tapping a random beat against the tabletop. She didn't answer me straight away, instead choosing to stare into her drink.

"I think it's pretty obvious," she replied coyly. I didn't believe that shyness for a second. "I mean, you like me, right?"

I should have known she would ask me right out like that; she wasn't afraid of speaking her mind. She was staring at me intently, eyes unwavering. I looked away.

"Sure," I responded simply. If she thought I was about to say anything deep or embarrassing, she was sorely mistaken. I wouldn't be telling her shit.

She sucked in her cheeks, not bothering to thank the waitress when our food arrived. We ate in silence, both of us occasionally gazing at the other. I was incredibly frustrated. I hadn't wanted to stay at home, needing that distance away from Bella, and yet I didn't want to be stuck here with Tanya, either. I'm sure she was wondering why I hadn't made a move thus far, but if I was being truthful to myself, she no longer held much appeal to me. She was a pawn, something nice to look at, handy when I wanted to make a certain person jealous. I did like her more than her cousin, and didn't hate her. I wasn't lying when I'd said so earlier. And I did think she was attractive. She was upfront and confident, which I admired, but I simply couldn't force myself to take that final step that she seemed to want. I'd hesitated every time she'd approached me for more.

Also, one thing that really bothered me, and halted anything happening with someone else, was that Bella hadn't once told me _not _to see anyone while we had this arrangement going. She'd never once told me not to fool around with anyone else. She'd never once shown she'd even cared. I'd tried to flaunt Tanya in her face once at school, just to see what her reaction would be, but she'd given me nothing but a blank look in return. What the fuck was I supposed to take from that? She was always looking at me in a mildly negative way, it meant nothing without words to back them up with.

And then she wouldn't break up with Jacob... well, I was assuming she wasn't going to. She'd not spoken one word about her relationship with him to me. I mean, she'd _said_ she wasn't doing anything with him, but that could change. She could just be scratching an itch until they were ready.

Again, I cursed myself internally. I shouldn't care about this, any of it. I shouldn't care if she was fucking Jacob right now, even after what she'd told me last night. I shouldn't feel this jealousy that assaulted me every time I thought of them as a pair... a couple. Together. I could recognize the feeling, and hated every second it made itself known. I hated the way I would feel my pulse quicken. I hated the way that darkness seemed to stem from nowhere and make me irrational in my thoughts and actions. I wanted to break out of the cage she'd trapped me in.

"What are you doing now?" Her voice broke me from my musings, eyes blinking as I refocused my attention.

"Sorry, what?" I asked, my fingers rubbing at my scalp in a relaxing circular movement.

"Your plans for the rest of the day, what are they?" Her tone was a little snippy. She evidently didn't like having to repeat herself, or be ignored for the most part.

"Nothing really," I replied honestly. She smirked again, searching through her bag for something while she continued to speak.

"Want to come back to mine?" she asked without looking up. "We'd have the house to ourselves." And there we were again, unsubtle hints given. I had to make a decision - either way there would be consequences. If I said _no_, she would wonder why. If I said _yes_, I would be doing it for all the wrong reasons. I took a deep breath and gazed out the window, unsure of what answer to give. I could go ahead and do what I'd usually do. I could go back to her house and give her what she wanted. Or I could go home and _not_ do anything. I hadn't done that for a while. The changes that I spoke of with Ben were now hitting me in the face, unwilling to be ignored.

"Edward?" She'd become impatient again, I didn't have to look at her to know this. I could hear her fingernails tapping against the table in an angry rhythm, I could hear her exaggerated huffs of breath while she continued to wait.

"Yeah, sure," I answered, swallowing the uncomfortable lump in my throat. I had to know one way or the other. I had to see if Bella was worth it. I had to know whether what I was about to do would change anything.

She smiled triumphantly, placing her money on the table alongside the bill. She wasted no time in gathering her bag and getting to her feet as she waited for me to do the same. I pulled out some cash and dropped it beside hers, smiling in thanks to Mrs. Newton on the way out.

"Just follow me over, okay?" she shouted from beside her car. I simply nodded, opening my own car door as I slid into the seat. I momentarily rested my head on the wheel, debating my choice. Then I remembered Jacob's car parked outside Bella's house earlier and my decision strengthened itself. Why couldn't I have another just like she had him? Why should I have to feel... _guilty_ about going to a girl's house. If she could do what she wanted then so could I. We weren't in a relationship.

I trailed after Tanya the whole drive over, the radio on loud enough to drown out my thoughts. I hummed and tapped my fingers against the wheel, anything to stop the self doubt setting in any further than it already had.

The house was empty, just like she'd said. The cars were gone, the driveway deserted apart from our own vehicles. The weather had shifted; the sky was now a dull grey.

I took no notice of the house as I followed her up the stairs, my eyes fixed on the back of her head. We were here for one reason and I wasn't stupid enough to think otherwise.

She pushed a door at the end of the hallway open, revealing a bedroom decorated in silver and white. It felt clinical and cold - I hated it. Her coat was shrugged from her shoulders, her bag dumped on the end of her bed. I simply stood there and waited, knowing she'd do what she wanted to anyway.

Her hands were unbuttoning her shirt as she looked at me, skin and purple lace exposed. Hair was falling to her shoulders as she reached behind her. Hands were then at my own shirt as she repeated the action she had with hers, nails down my skin, faint pink lines appearing. She tried to kiss me, but I dodged her mouth. She briefly hesitated before trying once more, and I had to take a step back to stop her from doing it again.

"I don't do that shit," I told her as she stared back at me with a tight jaw and sharp eyes. I shook my head and made to do my shirt back up, not getting very far before her hands were stopping me.

"No, don't. It's fine," she said as her hands landed on the button to my jeans. She fell to her knees and I knew what was coming. She kept eye contact as she slid my jeans down my legs, hands running up the outside of my thighs as my underwear followed. I took a deep breath as she put me between her lips, looking down at her as her mouth worked me.

It felt good but then, that was expected. She had my dick in her mouth and any male who said it wouldn't feel good was bullshitting. It was a natural reaction. However, I wasn't getting any harder or any nearer to coming. I closed my eyes thinking that would help... it didn't. Her actions were becoming faster and I knew she was getting as frustrated as I was. I gripped the back of her hair and pushed forward slightly, careful not to go too far.

I looked back down and strawberry hair suddenly became chestnut and blue eyes morphed to deep brown mocha. I was dazed - caught in a false scenario. Then I was coming, groans reverberating in my chest as she pulled her mouth away and held me in her hand. My heart was beating erratically; I was completely freaked out at what had just happened. My fingers untangled themselves from her hair, rubbing at my eyes instead. _Jesus Christ_.

I pulled my underwear and jeans back up, swiftly tugging at the zipper. She disappeared into her bathroom, the sound of water running echoing in the room. I felt shaky and dizzy and wanted to get the fuck out of there.

Tanya came back into the room, bra gone as she pushed her chest into mine. She wanted more... she wanted to get hers.

"Hmm, you feel so good," she whispered, my earlobe suddenly between her teeth.

I shouldn't have come here, I should have told her _no._ The sooner I gave her what she wanted, the sooner I could leave.

I took a deep breath and went to tease her breasts when car horns beeped and doors slammed. She cursed and peeked out the window, cursing again as she pulled on her shirt, fumbling fingers quickly trying to fasten buttons. That was the first time I'd seen her seem so out of control like that; it didn't fit with her previous behaviour. It showed me that she wasn't as completely cut and dry in the self-assurance department as I'd thought.

"What?" I asked, wondering what had her so panicked. Whatever it was, I was relieved it was resulting in her clothes going back on.

"Lauren's home," she whispered, gathering her hair behind her head like before. "And she's not alone. If she catches us up here, she'll get jealous and most likely tell my uncle or something to get back at me."

She looked pissed and apologetic as she stormed from the room, tugging at my hand to get me to follow her.

This was the first time I was truly thankful for being cockblocked.

"Just... sit there," she said, pushing me to the sofa. She switched the TV and dropped to the chair beside me just as the door opened.

I turned towards the noise, raising a brow as Lauren's gaze switched from me to Tanya, and back again. "Hi, Edward," she greeted, a fake smile on her face as she looked towards her cousin. "I didn't know you'd be here." It was an accusation.

"Yeah, last minute thing," Tanya told her with a shrug. Then I heard the voice of someone I really didn't want to have to deal with right now. _James._

"Eddie boy, what a pleasant surprise." I couldn't see anything _pleasant_ about it. I grudgingly managed a small smile, my eyes seeking out the lone clock in the room, my insides willing my brain to think of an excuse to get me out of here without looking like I was running away just because he was there.

He planted himself next to me, his expression amused as his arm rested on the back of the couch. "So, you two kids been having fun?" he said with a chuckle. I rolled my eyes despite my wanting to elbow him in the face.

"Not really," I said truthfully. I could feel Tanya's gaze on me, burning the skin as her eyes roamed. "I mean, there's not really anything good on TV."

James studied me for a few seconds before turning to Tanya to do the same. Lauren came and sat on the other side of me, my muscles tensing as she got a little too close for comfort. I felt caged in and claustrophobic. Her thigh pressed itself to mine, leaving no gap between them.

I pulled my phone from my pocket and discreetly opened up my message tab. I didn't do anything straight away, simply choosing to pass it from one palm to the other in a fairly quick fashion. When I was confident no one was paying much attention to the phone, I entered a quick message asking Em to call me right away. That way I could pretend it was a family matter and that I had to leave. No one would question me. No one would be the wiser.

The truth was, if James hadn't arrived, I probably would have already left by now. But he was and I had to keep up appearances. I didn't want him snooping into shit that didn't concern him.

"So, Edward, do you want to come with us to Laurent's later? He's throwing some 1920's dinner party thing. Tuxedos for the boys and cocktail dresses and pearls for the girls," Lauren asked.

I couldn't think of a worse way to spend my evening. Stuck in that house, while wearing a bow tie? Fuck no.

"I'll pass," I said with a sigh. Even James didn't looked that excited. That earned her a smile for bringing it up.

"Have a suit picked out already, James?" I asked with just a hint of amusement. He ran his tongue over the front of his teeth, looking as if he was trying to remove trapped food from between the enamel.

"No," he said after scratching his light stubble. "I'll probably just borrow one of Laurent's or something so he doesn't have a hissy fit that I'm not wearing the required attire." He shrugged and focused on the television in front of him, decidedly ending the conversation.

Thankfully my phone buzzed from its place on my thigh, 'Em' highlighted on the screen. _Fucking finally._

I put it to my ear and pressed accept. "What's up?" was the reply I got after I'd said hello.

"What, now?" I said, making sure to furrow my brows. I could sense three sets of eyes on me, attentive and curious.

"Huh?" was Emmett's reply, not surprisingly wondering what the hell I was going on about.

"I suppose," I sighed, pretending to be put out by whatever he was saying.

"What the... have you been drinking?" Em asked, the confusion evident in his voice.

"Okay, I'll leave now," I told him, ending the phone call and cutting off whatever he was about to say.

"Problem?" James asked, his foot tapping against the floor, bits of loose mud falling off his shoes as he did so.

"Nothing serious. I just need to go home and help with something or other. You know how Alice can get when she wants something done," I responded with a roll of my eyes.

"But wasn't that Emmett on the phone?" he questioned, his eyes squinting with interest. He missed nothing when he was fully aware.

"Um, yeah, it was. He was phoning for Alice more than likely," I rambled off as I got to my feet.

Lauren looked disappointed that I'd moved, her arms falling to cross her chest. James was sitting, watching his still-moving feet, only looking up again when I spoke once more.

"Anyway, I'll see you guys at school tomorrow," I said, slipping my cell back into my pocket, quickly ending a call that came through. _Not now, Emmett!_

Tanya was automatically on her feet, eyes set to mine as she stopped by my side. "I'll walk you out."

I shrugged and followed her to the door, my hands itching to grab the handle that she stubbornly stopped in front of.

"I'm sorry about all this," she said, all the while gazing at me from beneath her lashes. She stepped forward and put her mouth to my ear. "Next time, I'll make sure we're not disturbed."

She pressed her lips to my cheek and I had to stop myself from shouting that there would not be a next time.

I gave her a parting crooked smile before finally being able to step outside. I felt a weight leave my chest, my lungs grateful for the fresh air that I seemed to have so desperately needed. I hurried to my car, beeping the horn once as I pulled from her driveway and traveled home.

The weight that I'd felt leave my chest hit me full force when I was nearing Bella's house. She was standing outside, her feet on the top step of her porch - due to her difference in height - as she hugged Jacob to her.

Her eyes found my moving vehicle, following the silver paint as I drove past. She didn't let go and I didn't slow down. I pretended that I hadn't seen them embracing and that she hadn't watched until my car disappeared from her line of sight.

Drops of rain fell to my face as I exited the car, the ominous clouds freeing themselves of their darkness. I bent my head and shielded my face as I ran up the balcony steps to my room, eyes squinting against the unwelcome intrusion. I went to close the door, but instead changed my mind as my hands reached for my cigarettes off my desk.

I kicked off my shoes and stood at the lip of the door frame, trying to blow as much smoke through the doors as possible. I never usually smoked in the house, even though no one would be able to smell it from up here. I knew Esme would hate it, whether she knew I was doing it or not. But on days like today, I would stand there and look blindly through the rainfall until I'd finished. I'd throw the butt in the flowerpot - that would be continuing to fill with rain water - and watch the cherry die on impact.

When the cold got to be too much, I closed the door with a click, my icy fingers running themselves through my hair. I felt dirty and cold and wanted the warmth of the shower.

Steam filled the bathroom as I stripped, the sound of the running shower drowning out all other outside noise. I stepped beneath the spray, a sigh instantly escaping through my lips at the immediate relief.

I couldn't stop thinking about what had happened not thirty minutes ago. Bella's features had infiltrated my mind, enabling me to come. That had never happened before and I knew it meant more than I was willing to contemplate.

I scrubbed the shampoo harshly to my scalp, closing my eyes as soap slid down my forehead. I didn't even know that much about her... not really. Not like my family.

I studied a chipped tile in the corner of the room, knowing Esme would probably end up re-decorating the whole fucking bathroom if she saw it.

I thought about my previous statement. I mean, I knew she bit her lip when unsure or teasing. I knew she loved to read, the classics especially. I knew she loved the burgers at Newton's, so much so that she risked the panting stares from Mike himself. I knew she cared for my family, Alice in particular. I knew she had a crush on my father, her reddening cheeks evidence of that.

Her eyes would close when she laughed hard. Her hands would fumble when nervous. She would smile at the sight of an embracing couple. She hated the rain; a crease always appeared between her brows as she studied the miserable weather. I knew she secretly loved the protective concern her father carried out in phone calls and scribbled notes. I knew she missed her mother more than she let on.

I knew that I wanted to find out more.

My head rested against the cool tiles, the condensation sticking to my already damp skin. It was surprising what you could relay when you put your mind to it. I'd unconsciously picked up her traits and had obviously been paying more attention to her than I'd been aware.

I closed my eyes and stayed under the warm spray until the steam in the room became too suffocating.

OoOoO

The drive to school was silent, the occasional yawn breaking out. I'd spent the remainder of yesterday in my room, choosing my own company over others, so I really had no reason to be tired. I occasionally went downstairs to get food, but other than that I kept to myself. I caught up on my school work and fucked about on my computer.

Monday morning at school started as predictable as it could have. As soon as I'd pulled into the lot, Jessica was at my side, twittering on about the dress she wore to Laurent's dinner. I blocked her voice out as I scanned the crowd of students gathered by their vehicles, a smile tugging at my lips when I spotted Mike Newton step out of his car straight into a puddle.

He shook his leg out in front of him, unintentionally flicking dirty water on Victoria as she passed. I couldn't make out what she said to him, but he looked incredibly embarrassed; he even went as far as trying to wipe her bare legs with his hands. That earned him a kick to the shins.

A hand to my arm startled me, my body twisting itself around to see who had surprised me. Tanya stood there smiling secretly at me, her arm looping through mine before I could stop her.

"Morning," she greeted as she pushed herself to my side.

I gave her a half smile in reply, not missing Jessica's glare directed straight at her from where she stood at my other side. Tanya was making a claim, there was no doubt about her actions, and from the looks the other girls from her group were giving her, I wasn't the only one who was unhappy about it.

I ignored the conversations around me and focused my attention on my shoes, kicking loose bits of gravel across the lot. Just as I was about to remove Tanya's grip on my sleeve, I made the mistake of looking up, my eyes immediately locked with a certain neighbour who'd shared my bed not two days ago. And she looked pissed.

I furrowed my brows, a silent question asked. She raised her own brow in response, as if I should already know what was wrong. _Girls... fuck if I know anymore._

She broke our connection and looked beside me, eyes lingering briefly on Tanya's arm linked with mine. _Was that what she was angry about?_

I went to pull away once more from Tanya, but she had somehow gotten even closer, her lips unexpectedly pressing themselves to my cheek before she told me she'd see me at lunch.

I turned to face her just as she walked away, my expression displaying my emotions clearly. I was furious at her little stunt; I'd told her this past weekend I didn't want her kissing me. She either didn't notice my expression – or pretended not to – as she walked into the school without a backwards glance in my direction.

I suddenly felt a weird lump in my throat and snapped my head up as I remembered Bella had been watching the whole time, but she was no longer standing where my gaze had left her. She was walking into school with none other than James, Alice and Jasper trailing behind them.

He opened the door for them, shooting me a wink before walking in behind her. I hated that he was still pursuing her.

My blood was boiling, fury flowing through my heated veins. I gripped the strap of my backpack tightly and followed the other students into the building to go through the motions of another school day.

Lessons passed slowly as I fought with my emotions. James kept giving me amused looks in English, all the while flicking his eyes to Tanya in front of us - I kept a stoic expression despite wanting to wipe the smile off his face. He'd obviously witnessed the kissing display this morning and thought it hilarious.

Lunch finally arrived. I packed my tray with hot dogs and fruit before hesitating where to sit. I could see Tanya on the opposite side of the room; she didn't call me over, she simply watched me as I debated where to go.

I took a deep breath and finally decided not to sit with her today. Instead, I parked myself down next to Em. He gave me a slap on the back in greeting, his mouth full yet still smiling.

"Jesus, Em. Close your fucking mouth." He rolled his eyes and took a swig of his drink.

"I see you're in your usual chipper mood today," he said, voice laced with sarcasm.

This time it was my turn to give him an eye-roll.

"Just a lot on my mind," I mumbled before taking a bit of one of my hot dogs.

"Anything you want to talk about?" he asked, genuine concern on his face. I swallowed my food and sighed, quickly shaking my head.

"I'm fine... I'll be fine," I told him, focusing my attention back on food.

The remaining seats at the table soon filled, Rosalie taking the spare seat beside me. I gave her a false, cheerful smile just to mess with her. Her response was to call me a "dick". Business as usual.

I heard Bella before I saw her. She'd evidently hit her knee on the table before ours, her cheeks flushing as she rubbed at her skin. James appeared from seemingly nowhere, popping up beside her to carry her tray of food for her. She hesitated before giving in and letting him follow her over.

I think we all expected him to leave straight away, but no such luck. He placed himself beside Bella and rested his elbows on the table as he looked between all of us with a hint of amusement.

"Well, isn't this group full of laughs," he said with a wink at Alice.

I seriously thought she was going to stab him in the eye with her plastic fork, and evidently so did Jasper as he removed all possible weapons from her line of sight... and reach.

Rosalie whispered "inbred" under her breath and I didn't even bother to suppress my laughter.

"Something to share with the class, Edward?" James asked, stealing the apple from Bella's tray.

I smirked, my hands spinning the lid to my Coke bottle on the table. "No, not really."

"Nothing from the weekend?" he prompted. My hands froze. "Because, I have to tell you, I found it funny that I interrupted your fucking session with Miss Denali over there."

The table went silent, disgusted looks from both Alice and Rosalie immediately shot right at me. I looked over at Bella to see her staring intensely at the side of James' face, waiting for more untruths that she'd without a doubt believe.

"I don't know what you're talking about," I said through a tight jaw. He laughed loudly, even going as far to lean back in his chair while he rested his hands on his stomach.

"Please, your shirt wasn't buttoned correctly and Tanya was sans bra."

He bit into the apple with a sickening crunch; my appetite disappeared instantly. My fingers were gripping my drink so tightly I was sure the plastic would crack and expel my drink all over the table in fizzy waves.

The silence dragged on as the awkwardness lingered. Bella wouldn't look at me, purposely evading my stare. Each minute of the clock seemed like three. Then James had to open his fucking mouth, again.

"Looks like you weren't the only one who got a little action on the weekend, Edward." This time he wasn't smiling.

He was staring at Bella's neckline, the gap of skin - from having undone the top few buttons of her shirt - exposed a small bruise. She quickly covered it up and shot a glare straight at me.

"No, I think I must have fallen or something. I didn't even know it was there until Sunday morning," she said slowly, maintaining eye contact with me the whole time. And then I knew. I'd done it... I'd unknowingly given her a hickey. That explained the look this morning in the parking lot.

Emmett snorted and waggled his spoon from his yoghurt in her direction. "Tell Jacob if he does it again, I'll give him a much bigger bruise on his face."

"Honestly, he didn't," she responded, pushing her tray forward to offer Em the remainder of her chocolate pudding.

"_Yeah_, we believe you," James replied, eating the remainder of his apple while staring across the room.

"I do," Alice exclaimed, even though I was positive she didn't. She just didn't want to agree with him.

Jasper stayed silent throughout, his attention on Alice to make sure she didn't jump across the table and kick James in the nuts or something, especially when he winked at her for a second time.

Bella left the table as soon as the warning bell rang; her feet moved swiftly through the still crowded cafeteria, her body weaving through the bulk of students. My chair was pushed backwards as I stood, intending to catch up before we got to Biology.

Jasper's eyes were on me as I left. He looked disappointed and... angry? I was sure then he knew _something._ I wasn't sure what the "something" was, but his expression let me know he wasn't happy.

He wasn't the type to interfere - I knew he wouldn't ask me about it. He'd had time to question me about whatever it was he thought he knew... thought he'd saw, and he hadn't. But then this was Bella, his friend. Naturally, my certainty wavered. I didn't have time to stand there and determine what I was going to do about it. I would speak to him another time... if he even approached me, that was.

I rushed through the doors, my eyes scanning the heads in front of me. I couldn't see her, but I had a feeling what direction she'd have headed. She usually dumped her books in her locker before lunch, so that's where I would try first.

Just as I'd pushed the doors open to the second floor, I saw her. She was hurrying up the stairs, hand sliding up the handrail as she went.

"Bella?" I shouted, but she didn't stop and turn, she carried on, completely ignoring me. I groaned as I heard her feet hit the steps at a faster pace. I think a part of me knew she wouldn't wait, she was far too stubborn for that.

I went after her, easily catching her up. "Will you just stop?" I said, a little breathless from running up the stairs.

"No, I don't want to be late," she responded, dodging my hand as I made to grasp her elbow.

"Bullshit, you're running from me. You couldn't care less if you're late for class," I snapped.

That seemed to work as she swung around and pushed me in the chest, her cheeks flushed, eyes fierce.

"Don't tell me what I do and don't care about, Edward Cullen!" she shouted, giving me another small shove. "Keep your opinions for someone who actually wants to hear them. Or better yet, don't bother voicing them at all!"

I watched as she stopped in front of her locker, angrily pulling the door open, so much so that it crashed into the one next it.

"I'm honest to God sorry about the... well, you know. I didn't mean to, I promise," I said truthfully. She snorted, giving a slight shake to her head.

"Who knew you were such a religious man," she quipped bitterly. "I'm so angry with you for doing it, and now you're lying to me about it." She took a deep breath before continuing.

"Jake saw it... he fucking _saw_ it. I have no right to be upset over it considering what I'm doing to him is so much worse. But he shouldn't have to see it as well. It's not fair."

I shoved my hands into my pockets and said the thought that had been bothering me for weeks. "Why not just break things with him, then?"

"Because it's not that simple!" she snapped. "What would you do if your friend told you that he didn't know what he'd do without you? Or that he wouldn't forgive someone for breaking his heart? I get this said to me nearly every time I see him. The guilt eats away at me so much I think I'll stop breathing from the effort I exert to stop the words from escaping my mouth. I have to find the right time, but when he's telling me things like that, I can't... I just can't do it."

Her back was still towards me so I couldn't see her face. It seemed to me that Jacob wasn't as stupid or innocent as she thought. In fact, I bet he had an inkling her feelings for him stopped at friendship. She evidently wasn't the only selfish one in that relationship.

"I didn't sleep with her," I found myself saying after a pause of nothing from either of us. I didn't _have_ to say anything about what had happened on the weekend, but I wanted to clear it up. I felt I had to say that at least.

She laughed. "I don't care." She was getting further frustrated as she searched through the mound of textbooks in search of the one she needed.

The final bell rang, the noise in other areas of the school diminishing. This part of the floor only held the girls' bathroom and a set of lockers, by then it was empty of other students.

I stood behind her, my hands finding her shoulders. "It seems like you do," I responded. She shrugged me off and turned to face me, her own hands still empty.

"What, you think I care if you sleep around? I knew you were like that before I'd even laid eyes on you. If you want to be a whore, Edward, that's your prerogative, not mine."

Her words stung like a bee, the sharp pain lingering long after they'd left her mouth. I let a bitter laugh escape my lips. "You're such a fucking hypocrite. You have a _boyfriend_. Or did you forget about him?" I fumed, watching her expression change. She frowned and swallowed heavily, eyes flitting from my face.

What I'd said was shitty, but she'd attacked me first.

"No, you're right," she said, her arms coming to wrap around her ribs. "We should stop this. Don't come to me anymore."

My hand slammed into the locker beside hers without much conscious thought, the sound making her jump back a step. The anger returned to her face as her mouth closed into a hard line. _Fuck!_

"Feel better?" she snapped. "Want to hit it again?"

I closed my eyes and rested my head against the very same locker I'd hit moments ago, the cool metal welcome to my heated skin.

"I didn't sleep with her," I told her.

I turned and watched her face; I could see she didn't believe me.

"Yeah, right. I'm not stupid," she said with a shake of her head.

"I _didn't,_" I repeated truthfully. "I... she – just know that I didn't, okay?"

"So you did something else?" she asked, her eyes searching my face for my reaction. I didn't want to tell her.

I didn't necessarily regret it, as it had made me see and feel things I wouldn't have acknowledged if I hadn't. I wasn't going to do it again, with Tanya... with any of them. At least not for a while, not until this thing with Bella was over. I wouldn't tell her this though. I would keep it to myself. It was no one's business but my own.

Did this mean I felt something more, something I shouldn't be feeling? Did this mean that I wanted to do something about the feelings that merged together inside my chest?

She was staring intensely and holding me captive in her gaze. I found myself nodding in reply to her question, the movement unconscious and awkward.

I was going against my own wants.

"Yeah, well, it doesn't matter," she voiced as she took a step away from me. "I mean, like you said, I'm a hypocrite. I make Jacob feel good on a regular basis."

My fists clenched as I thought about him touching her in return. "I thought you said it wasn't like that with him?" I accused.

She shrugged and met my burning gaze. "I guess we all have secrets, then."

She was lying... I was sure of it. Her teeth caught her bottom lip as she looked away; I couldn't stop my hand from reaching forward to cup her cheek in my palm as my thumb freed her trapped flesh.

"You're lying," I said confidently. Her cheeks reddened as she continued to avoid looking at me.

"Why do you even care?" she asked sharply, my hand still pressed against her cheek, coaxing her to face to me.

"Why do _you?_" I questioned, turning her words against her. My hand dropped from her skin and that's when she turned her attention back to me, her eyes filled with unspoken thoughts I wanted vocalized.

Then before I could stop her, her lips were pressed to mine. I stood there and didn't move... couldn't move. She pulled back, fingers at the back of my neck as she watched me warily. My hands tightened into fists on the lockers behind her as I tried to pull away... tried and failed.

Her mouth was on mine again and this time I matched her movement. I crushed her to me and opened my mouth as her tongue gently nudged against my lips. Hands were tightly grasping hair, bodies pressed against one another as one. I forgot where we were and where we were supposed to be. I simply kissed the girl in front of her locker in a deserted hallway.

It was so much more than hand holding and kisses to the forehead. It was the purging of lies and secrets. It was the joining of forbidden lips and wanting hands.

It was the merging of hidden vows encased in jealous green and cryptic brown.

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	23. Chapter 23

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Edward

My lips became more and more urgent, my hands impatient. I wanted too much too soon. Her hands were still grasping my hair, pulling my face closer and closer until I could take no more and had to break away from her mouth in order to breathe.

My forehead fell to rest against hers as my palms cupped her cheeks, her own hands joining mine on her skin.

"You shouldn't have done that," I whispered, my lips brushing hers in the process.

"You didn't stop me," she answered back, her own breathing just as laboured.

I pulled away and rubbed my hands down my face, my day's worth of stubble gently tickling my fingers. The sound of muted voices and closing doors alerted me to the fact we weren't in the most private of places. We definitely couldn't stay here like this – it was too risky.

"Do you want to go to biology?" I asked. I wasn't going, and while I wanted her to come with me, I wouldn't force her to.

"No," she answered, her cheeks still flushed and lips still swollen.

"Good." I quickly glanced down the hallway before unconsciously grabbing her hand and pulling her along with me.

"Wait," she said as she broke away from my grasp. My brows furrowed; had she changed her mind?

"Let me grab my stuff." She smiled slightly and I looked behind her to see her locker still wide open.

"Yeah, that would probably be a good idea," I smirked, my hand making its way into my hair.

I didn't take her hand again, choosing to instead put my own in my pockets as she paused beside me.

"Ready?" I asked.

"I am," she answered as she pulled her bag higher onto her shoulder. I should offer to carry it for her, but that's not what we did. Plus, it would garner too much attention, even if students were already in class.

Thankfully the stairwell was empty as we made our way to the ground floor. I held the door open for her as she slid past me with a half smile that didn't quite reach her eyes. My brows furrowed as I followed behind her, wanting to ask her so many questions.

As soon as we broke through the doors into the car lot, I immediately knew we had a problem. Bella had come to school, as usual, with my family. They were going to notice her absence. I think she realized it about the same time I did, as she swiveled on the spot to face me with mild panic.

"Alice will wonder where I've gone," she said as she bit her lip anxiously. I took a deep breath as I pulled my car keys from my pocket, an idea springing to mind.

"Do you have your phone with you?" I asked, glancing behind me before pulling her along to my car. It wouldn't do well for Mrs. Cope to spot us from the office.

"Um, I think so. Why?" she wondered, her nose crinkling slightly in confusion.

"Send a text to Alice telling her you didn't feel well so you had your dad come pick you up or something," I rambled, unlocking the car and motioning for her to get it. She hesitated briefly, staring at me curiously for a few seconds, before sliding onto the seat. I closed the door behind her and ran around to the driver's side, not wasting any time getting in as the wind had started to pick up.

"I don't want to keep lying to her," she whispered as she gazed blindly through the windshield. "And what if she rings the house and starts asking Charlie questions?" she added, panic creeping into her voice.

"Yeah, but your dad will be at work soon, right?" I asked, sounding more irritable than I actually was.

"I don't know. I don't think so," she answered, her fingers fumbling with the sleeves of her sweater.

"Look, you either want to come with me or you don't. Which is it?" I didn't mean to sound harsh, but she needed to make a choice. We couldn't continue to simply sit there.

She angrily opened her bag, her hair falling around her face in a protective curtain. She was upset with me and I didn't care. Sometimes she needed that push. Her fingers stabbed at the keys on her cell when she'd finally located it from among her books.

"Alice insisted she was coming over after school, so I told her not to as Jake had already offered."

Her cell ended straight back in her bag again when she'd finished speaking.

"Done?" I asked, my fingers tapping against the steering wheel impatiently. She titled her head towards me, eyes slightly squinted.

"Yeah, done," she snapped. I resisted the urge to tell her to get out of the car; instead I stuck the key into the ignition and started up the engine. I reversed slowly, trying to be as quiet as possible, only breathing a sigh of relief when we drove past the school without being detected by unwanted family members or staff.

"So genius, where are we going?" she asked with false enthusiasm. She was trying to rile me up – this is what we did. When the other became upset or annoyed, we would take it out on the other. I guess today was her day.

"I thought we'd go to the station and say 'hi' to your dad," I said sarcastically. She cranked down the window and closed her eyes while she rested her head on the back of the seat.

"That's fine. Perhaps we can go see your dad at the hospital afterward," she countered, her lips curling into a sly smile.

"You'd like that, wouldn't you? Seeing the much loved Dr. Cullen is his work uniform," I teased. The smile instantaneously dropped from her face; I could feel her unwavering gaze on me as I continued to drive.

"What's that supposed to mean?" she queried, sounding a little nervous.

"You think I haven't noticed your little crush?" I laughed, giving her a swift sideways glance. Her mouth was open, her eyes were wide.

"Excuse me?" she coughed; it was almost as if she were choking on her words. "That's ridiculous."

Her cheeks were as red as one of the flowering plants in Esme's garden. "If you say so," I sighed, hiding my own triumphant smile.

"I think your jealously is messing with your pretty little head, Edward," she said overly sweetly. "You don't like the idea of me wanting someone else, do you?" I scrunched up my features as I shook my head.

"Please, I don't get jealous," I lied, taking another quick look at her face. Her right brow was raised as she laughed at me.

"Sure you don't," she said as her arms slid from her sleeves as she removed her sweater. I spotted an opening in the trees, the same opening that led to the meadow I'd found early this year. No one would spot the car from there. I turned down the track and parked the car in the same spot I had last time. I cut the engine and turned around in my seat to face her.

"You think I get jealous?" I questioned, my eyes fixed on hers. She sat up on her knees as she leaned towards me, one hand resting on the headrest to my seat, the other on the driver's side window.

"I _know_ you do," she answered confidently, gazing at me beneath thick, dark lashes and cocooning me in the scent of her shampoo.

I swallowed thickly and smirked, "Sorry to disappoint you, Bella, but I couldn't care less who you think about in that pretty little head of yours." I used her own words against her, but she didn't shown signs of irritation like I'd thought. In fact, she fucking _smiled_ at me.

"Do you know what I did last night?" she asked as she removed the remaining distance between us and straddled my thighs. My hands clenched into tight fists so I wouldn't be tempted to grab her hips and grind into her.

I shook my head in the negative.

"You remember that day, weeks back, when you dropped me home from school after I had that fight with Jessica?" she prompted, her fingers playing with my tie. I nodded for her to continue. "Jake was waiting for me when I got home... and you started asking me what I saw in him."

"Yeah, what's that got to do with anything?" I asked irritably. She momentarily flitted her gaze away from her fingers that were currently pressed to my chest to focus on my expression.

"You told me to imagine _your_ hands on my skin when I touched myself," she whispered, her hands moving down my chest to rest above the waistband of my trousers.

I held in a groan as she continued to tease me, and tried to ignore the fact my chest was starting to rise and fall harshly.

"Well, I didn't take _that_ advice," she said, removing her hands from my form to rest on her ribcage just below her breasts. "I imagined _Jake's_ hands running along the inside of my thighs until they came to -" She didn't get to finish her sentence as I put my hand gently over her mouth to silence her.

"Don't say it," I told her, not missing the amused glint in her eye. Then I realized what had just happened.

She'd just proven a point. I'd told her I didn't get jealous... she'd tested me and I'd lost. I dropped my hand and glared when she laughed lightly.

"I win," she breathed as she went to remove herself from my lap. But before she'd even managed to swing her leg back over to her seat, I had her in face in my hands and her lips on mine.

"Do you know where Tanya had her mouth on Saturday? She had it right on my -" and this time it was her turn to shut me up with her hand.

Her eyes were dark and shone with annoyance and anger. "Looks like I'm not the only one who gets jealous, huh?" I breathed as I pulled her palm from my skin.

Her hands grabbed my tie and pulled me back to her lips, her tongue immediately seeking out mine. I finally grasped her hips and pulled her down onto me, sighs of relief leaving my nose. She rocked against me, my moans getting swallowed by her mouth and lips and eager kisses. I reached blindly for the lever at the side of the seat, pulling on it to angle the back of the seat down to give us more room.

My hands slid up her thighs to grab her ass I pulled her down on me harder.

"Oh, God, that feels so good," she breathed as she bit my bottom lip. I squeezed her cheeks and thrust against her center again and again. She continued to rock against me, her eyes not leaving mine once.

Her cheeks were flushed and her hair was slightly messy; she looked like sex and I wanted nothing more than to pull her underwear to the side and push into her warmth.

I slid the tie from her neck, her movements above me not stopping as I undid the buttons to her shirt. I'd never done anything like this in my car before, never wanting to associate a girl with a particular item of mine. But now_ she _was here and I didn't care that I would think of her dry humping me in this very seat every time I had to drive to and from school.

I pushed her shirt from her shoulders and she pulled back just enough to remove it completely. She was wearing a simple white bra that should have portrayed innocence but the look she was giving me extinguished it instantly. I slid the straps down her arms and pulled the cups down so that her breasts were pushed up and together.

She was panting and swiveling her hips and I still didn't touch her like her eyes were begging me to. Her lips parted and she moved faster; my shoulders were used for support as she pushed on.

"Touch me," she breathed, eyes hooded.

I ran my hand across her stomach, groans filled with impatience leaving her mouth. "Do you like my hands on you?" I asked. I was teasing her; I stroked the underside of her breasts lightly with my fingertips. Her mouth snapped closed and she grudgingly nodded slowly as my thumb passed above her nipple without touching.

"Have you imagined my hands on you like this, Bella?" I whispered – she whimpered in response. "Have you?" I asked again as I traced around the swell of her flesh, avoiding touching her where she most wanted relief.

"Fuck...yes, okay, yes!" she exclaimed, glaring at me the whole time the words left her mouth. I still didn't touch her.

"Please," she whispered, gripping my shoulders tightly as she pushed her chest towards my hands. "I'm so close... I – _please."_

I covered her lips with mine and gently kneaded her right breast without warning. She whimpered and pulled away, her head thrown back as she pressed down on to me harder.

I sucked the nipple of her left breast into my mouth; pleasured-filled mantras sounded from her lips. "Oh, fuck... God." She crushed my face to her chest as she came, her body arching as her movements slowed and then eventually, stopped.

Her body slumped into me as her tiredness gave way. I leaned back and held her to me as she tried to catch her breath. I was still hard beneath her, and even though I desperately wanted a release, I was thankful she wasn't moving. I didn't want to have to drive all the way home with a mess in my boxers.

She eventually looked up and just stared at me for a few seconds with soft eyes. I pushed her hair from her face as she leaned forward and pressed her lips my chin, my cheeks... my lips. These kisses were soft and slow and sweet and my eyes closed on impulse. They took me by surprise - I felt things I didn't want to name. I knew what they were, but I wouldn't voice them. Not yet. Maybe never... but definitely not yet.

Her hand was undoing the button to my trousers and I didn't stop her. She pushed my underwear down until she could grasp my hardness without the material getting in the way. She moved her palm up and down and I smirked when I found her eyes watching the action. Her cheeks bloomed with a faint pink; my hand sought the hue on her cheeks.

"Don't be embarrassed," I told her with a falsely comforting smile. "So you happen to be a bit of a pervert..." I shrugged. _God I loved teasing her._

She hit me in the shoulder with her free hand, her blush deepening at a rapid pace. I laughed loudly, that laugh soon turning into a moan when her thumb swiped across the head of my dick.

Now it was my turn to watch as she worked me up and down; the sight of her smaller hand wrapped around me caused my breathing to become erratic. I grasped the wrist of her hand on my dick, encouraging her to go even faster. My legs stiffened as I got closer to my release, a strangled groan left my mouth when she hesitantly reached out to touch my balls. My hips left the seat as I spilled onto her hand, my eyes closing in relief.

I leaned back with my eyes firmly shut as I came down from my high. I could feel Bella tracing blind patterns on my thigh with her fingertips as my breathing calmed. The action was relaxing and felt a little too intimate; I had to break it.

I reached forward into the glove compartment and pulled out a few paper napkins I had left over from the occasional take-out I'd had from Newton's Diner. I immediately cleaned us both up before tucking myself back into my underwear.

She picked up her discarded shirt from her seat, and I helped right her bra as she turned the sleeves the right way out.

"Thanks," she said shyly. I rolled my eyes and gave her boobs a last little jiggle before helping her button her shirt. She gave me a mock reproachful look as she slapped my hand away from her chest.

"What?" I asked with a chuckle. She raised a single eyebrow in response.

"And you call me the pervert," she mumbled, her face now tilted downwards as she still worked through the buttons.

"I was helping," I insisted as I tucked my own shirt back into my trousers.

"You were copping a feel..._again_," she said confidently.

I laughed. "What does it matter? I just had your nipples in my mouth. Me and your boobs are friends now."

"My boobs only put up with you because you have a talented tongue," she shot back with a smile.

"They don't like my hands?" I asked with a faux-pained expression.

She bit her lip and looked to her side. "Only sometimes," she replied.

"Well, we'll have to do something about that," I said seriously as I rested my palms just above her knees.

"_We'll?_" she queried with an amused glint in her eye. I smirked.

"Me and my hands of course," I said as if it were obvious.

"Ah, of course," she snorted with a shake of her head.

I glanced at my watch and sighed. "We better get you home."

She slid from my lap and buckled herself into the passenger seat. "Yeah... yeah."

I restarted the engine and pulled back out the way we'd come. I couldn't stop peering over to her on the drive to her house, but she wouldn't look at me. She focused her attention on the scenery outside the moving vehicle.

Her father's cruiser was in the driveway; I couldn't park outside and let her get out for all to see. She evidently thought the same as she turned to me and asked me drive on a little way. I did as she asked and pulled to the curb when we were at a safe enough distance.

This was beginning to become the worst part of my day. I never knew what to say to her after we had to go our separate ways. Thankfully she beat me to it this time.

"I better go cook Charlie some food before he attempts to himself. You'd probably be able to smell the burning all the way from your house," she giggled.

I snorted, I couldn't say that I'd be much different. I wouldn't even know how to turn the oven on in our kitchen, let alone actually cook anything. However, I was great with toaster waffles, Poptarts and bread. Culinary genius in the making.

"Have fun," I said as she stepped out of the car.

"Yeah, I'll try."

She closed the door with a smile and I stayed in the car until she disappeared into her house.

OoOoO

I walked into the kitchen and towards the noise. Alice and Jasper were in there arguing about something - which wasn't that unusual considering the amount of time they spent with one another. It never lasted long so I didn't ever bother to get involved in their spats.

Alice barged past me just as I opened the door and stormed up the stairs, leaving mutterings and huffs of annoyance in her wake. I raised a brow at Jasper who shook off my silent question with a shake of his head.

I shrugged and grabbed some bread out the cupboard before making my way over to the refrigerator to grab some turkey and mayo.

"Want one?" I offered as I pointed to the food on the counter. Jasper scratched his head before nodding.

"Yeah, please," he sighed.

I would have been lying if I said I didn't feel on edge. I hadn't forgotten the look he'd given me during lunch, but I didn't want to bring it up in case I was simply being paranoid.

I cut the sandwiches in half before sliding his onto a plate to hand over.

"Thanks," he said, picking up a half to take a bite. I followed suit as I started to put everything back in its rightful place.

"I didn't see your car in the lot after the final bell," he told me around a mouthful of bread. I paused mid-chew, my face thankfully hidden by the refrigerator door.

"No?" I said, quickly righting my expression before facing him.

"Bella wasn't there either. She texted Alice after lunch to say she was sick and not to bother going over after school as Jake had already offered to stay with her," he said while picking up the other half of his sandwich.

"Really?" I asked, playing dumb. "I wondered why she wasn't in biology."

I could lie so easily, untruths rolled off my tongue in the moment without much conscious thought. It was afterward that the guilt would always set in.

"Well, you see, I spotted Jacob on the street opposite the diner with one of his reservation buddies on our way home from school, so Bella was obviously lying," he stated as he caught my gaze. "What I'm trying to figure out is why."

"Why _what?_" I asked to kill time. I hadn't expected this turn of events.

He set his plate down and brushed the crumbs from his shirt. "Why Bella would lie about something like that." I shrugged.

"So, you have no ideas or thoughts on the matter?" he queried. "None at all?"

I had to be careful what I said here. I was now at least ninety percent sure he knew something was going on between me and Bella, but I wanted him to voice his opinions first. I wanted to know what angle I had left to work with.

"I think that's something you'll have to ask Bella about herself," I said carefully...slowly.

He pushed his hands into his pocket as he leaned back against the wall, eyes studying my face calmly.

"I _know_," he stated without looking away. I swallowed down the last bite of my sandwich as I broke his gaze to get a drink.

"You know what?" I questioned as I pulled a glass out. I walked back over to the refrigerator, but didn't pause this time. I picked up the carton and faced him again almost immediately.

"That you're fooling around with Bella." My heart sped inside my chest as I twisted the cap and poured the white liquid into my glass.

"And what made you come to that conclusion?" I asked, eyeing him over the rim of my drink. He let out a humourless laugh and pushed himself from the wall to sit at the table.

"Where do I even start?" he sighed, picking an apple from the fruit bowl to pass between his hands.

"You pay far too much attention to her," he stated. "I've seen the way you act around the girls at school, and you've never behaved like you have been over the past few months... ever."

I took continuous mouthfuls of the cold milk, hoping to get out of speaking straight away.

"Don't get me wrong, it's not just you. She does it as well. I catch her looking at you in the cafeteria or across the parking lot far too much for simple friendly curiosity." He took a bite of the apple before continuing.

"You disappear together, today isn't the first time. At first I thought it was just coincidence, I mean, you haven't known each other that long, but then it happened again and again and it became more and more obvious."

That made me pause. "Obvious to who?" I asked while setting my glass in the sink. I hadn't admitted to anything yet, but if Alice knew, I was screwed.

He eyed me intensely for a moment before letting out a deep breath. "Just me." I sighed in relief.

"Then... then I saw you both together in the music room and all those questions got answered."

I turned my back on him and gripped the counter top in frustration. I was stupid. We were so fucking stupid to have done anything in there. But that's the thing, she made me act reckless and squash every ounce of my common sense.

"What the fuck are you doing, Edward?" he asked, sounding slightly angry this time. I swung around, my face impassive.

"I'm doing nothing," I told him.

"Stop lying," he said a little too loudly for my liking. We weren't the only two people in the house, and if one of them believed us to be arguing, they would be in there straight away to find out what was happening. Rosalie in particular would love any excuse to beat my ass.

"Why don't you say that a bit louder next time, I don't think everyone heard you," I snapped. I very rarely spoke to Jasper like that. Our friendship was so easy I didn't think we'd had more than a handful of disagreements the whole time I'd known him.

"Well cut the bullshit then," he countered. I rubbed my forehand before joining him at the table.

Neither of us said anything for a few minutes, each of us giving the other time to cool off before things were said we didn't mean.

"It was nothing... it _is_ nothing," I corrected. I looked up and met his curious gaze.

"Does she know this? Because Bella isn't the type of girl to get caught up in shit like this. That's not her."

"Yeah, well, I don't feel much like myself either," I said lowly. "And she's with Jacob, she doesn't want anything serious."

He winced and shook his head, obviously just remembering that there was another person involved in this fucked up little triangle.

"If you hurt her, we'll be having this conversation again," he said seriously. "You're my best friend, and while I haven't known Bella as long, I know she didn't start this."

"Thanks," I mumbled sarcastically. He sighed and placed his half eaten apple on the table in front of him.

"Do you even like her, Edward? I mean, was what James said at lunch true? You slept with Tanya on the weekend?" I shook my head adamantly.

"No, I mean, I was with Tanya, but we didn't... you know," I explained, grasping my hair in my hands as I stared blindly at the door. "James came back with Lauren and just assumed we had."

"You still haven't answered the first part to my question?" he pointed out. I furrowed my brows; I'd evidently missed that part.

"Do you like Bella?" he probed. I swallowed thickly and pinched the bridge of my nose.

"I... I'm not sure," I responded. "I like her better than before, anyway," I added with a bitter laugh.

"Before what? Before you messed around with someone else? Jesus Christ, Edward!" he hissed. His hand slammed down on the wooden surface, causing his apple to bob and roll before falling to the ground.

"I get it, alright? I'm an asshole," I said back just as angrily.

"That's the point I'm trying to make, I don't think you do. You shouldn't have to go and fuck about with Tanya or Lauren or any of those other girls to know your true feelings. Think with this," he said, his hand resting over his heart, "and not this," he continued, his fingers now tapping against his temple.

"Stop evaluating everything and just do what feels right. Stop being scared and grow the fuck up."

My mouth opened but no words came out. I was partly in shock, and partly impressed with his ability to call me out on the mess I'd made.

"I mean, shit. What do you think will happen if Em ever finds out you're sleeping with someone he looks upon as a little sister?" he said, more to himself than me... I think.

"If he finds out she isn't his SVB anymore, he'll kill you."

"What the fuck does that even mean?" I asked; it had been driving me insane, everyone keeping that from me.

He palmed his eyes with the heel of his hands before sliding them down his face. He mumbled through his fingers. "You'll have to ask Bella that." _Fuck... fuck! He was going to castrate me._

"I'm not sleeping with her," I blurted truthfully. "We've talked about her...experience, or lack of. I won't take that from her."

His expression read shock and disbelief. "_What? _You haven't been sleeping together all this time?" he asked quietly. I shook my head.

He leaned back in his chair and looked up at the ceiling in exasperation. "That, right there, should tell you everything you need to know." He looked back at me and shook his head. "You care about her. If you didn't, you wouldn't think twice about getting her into your bed."

My pulse raced and my chest felt tight. I turned my head to the side, my knee bouncing wildly. So I kind of liked her, big deal. It didn't mean I had to admit to it, or do anything about it. I should have denied everything and called Jasper stupid. I should have gone to my room, locked my door and turned my music on as loud as I could bare it.

"You haven't told anyone?" I questioned. I would trust Jasper with anything, but this was different.

"No, I haven't told anyone else," he answered, a torn expression creasing his features.

I fiddled with the button on the cuff of my school shirt, the thread loosening under my fingers. "And you won't tell anyone, not even Alice? _Especially_ not Alice?"

He squeezed his eyes shut momentarily before speaking. "No, just don't make me regret it."

"Thank you," I whispered sincerely. I took a deep breath and asked another favour. "Can you not speak to Bella about this? I'll tell her, I promise, but I don't want her to know quite yet. She already worries so much about this... all of it. I'm not sure if she could handle knowing that someone else knew."

"She has to end things with Jacob, it's not fair," he sighed.

"She said she's tried, but it's hard for her. She doesn't want to hurt him."

"Everyone makes mistakes," he stated - that stung a little. He obviously didn't agree with what we were doing, that didn't shock me, but he thought of me as the mistake. Is that truly how people saw me?

"It will blow over, she doesn't see me like that and we already know that I don't have girlfriends."

He stared at me, eyes squinting ever so slightly in their evaluation. He gave me a sad smile that I didn't understand, but before I had time to question him about it, Alice breezed back into the kitchen and placed herself in Jazz's lap.

"I'm sorry," she whispered as her arms went around his neck. His own arms encased her, drawing her nearer.

"I'm sorry too," he told her, a kiss pressed to her cheek.

They fit so easily; I was mildly jealous of my sister for seemingly having everything worked out. Half the time, I felt like I was drowning. But then, she hadn't been there... her ideals weren't tainted.

"Did I interrupt something?" Alice asked as she noticed the tension in the room.

"No, I was just discussing Christmas gift ideas with Edward. I'm starting early this year."

The squeal that left Alice's mouth caused me to smile... until I realized that Jasper had lied to her to keep my secrets. I got to my feet, pausing only long enough to give Jazz an apologetic look. He nodded in response, my apology easily accepted. He was a better person that I was.

"Remember what I said, though," he told me as I opened the door. I didn't need him to clarify what that was.

I finally did what I should have done as soon as I'd arrived home. I went to my room and locked the door and played the music as loud as I could without it bothering anyone else in the house. I had already been doing enough of that.

OoOoO

Dinner had been a pretty quiet affair. Rose and Jasper were at their own house due to their mother's insistence. Her maternal instinct had kicked in again for what would most likely only last a few days.

Dad was home for the third time this week, he was home a lot more lately. Alice chewed his ear off during most of dinner with talk of Christmas presents she desperately needed. We wouldn't stop hearing about tinsel and lights for the next two months.

I'd just finished my assignment for English class when I decided to see who was online. Bella had that little green circle by her name. I debated pinging her after my chat with Jasper. Perhaps it would be easier if we did stop it now before it got any further. The thing was, I believed the majority of the damage had already been done. I had no one else to blame but myself, and if I was telling the truth, I didn't want to stop spending time with her. I was evidently more selfish than I'd thought.

I clicked on her name.

**EC11388: **_Hi._

**Isabella:** _Hi._

**EC11388:**_ What are you up to?_

**Isabella: **_Talking to my mom. Well, sending her an email. You know, just checking in. You?_

I smiled to myself as I typed out my reply.

**EC11388: **_Talking to my mom. Well, shouting responses through my bedroom door. You know, just asking her to wash my bedding for me tomorrow._

**Isabella: **_Such a jackass._

I laughed and swiveled slightly in my chair.

**EC11388: **_How was dinner with the chief?_

I expected an immediate response... but it never came. Finally, twelve minutes later, she answered back.

**Isabella: **_Yeah, dinner was good. We had fish._

What had kept her so long? I rested my elbows on my desk as I bit a knuckle.

**EC11388: **_Is someone else there?_

I didn't want to ask, but my curiosity had gotten the better of me. Again, her response was delayed.

**Isabella: **_No, no one's here._

My brows furrowed as I buried my head in my hands. She was obviously busy with something... or someone. She could have gone to get a drink or something, sure. But that doesn't take over ten minutes to carry out.

**EC11388: **_Am I interrupting something?_

I bit my knuckle again as I waited for her words to appear on the screen.

**Isabella:** _No, you're fine._

I expected a "but" to emerge from somewhere. None came. I couldn't help but think she was still lying to me though.

**Isabella: **_Jake phoned me._

And there it was.

**EC11388: **_And?_

**Isabella: **_And nothing. He called to say goodnight._

I sneered.

**EC11388:**_ How sweet of him._

**Isabella: **_Yeah..._

I hated that the mention of his name had made things awkward once more. I hated that she was still dating him. From the first moment I'd met him I knew we weren't going to be friends. Leah had told me a lot about him, mostly good things, but I could never see them myself. Big smiles hide a lot, and his grin was pretty much a constant on his face.

My fingers flew over the keys before I really thought about what I was suggesting.

**EC11388: **_Sooo... want some company?_

I glanced at the clock to check the time, my feet tapping against the wooden flooring as I waited for her answer.

**Isabella:** _You do realize it's ten at night, right? The time I usually try and sleep._

**EC11388:**_ Who said I didn't want to sleep?_

I could just imagine the confusion on her face right now.

**Isabella:**_ Go to bed Edward. _

My back arched as I stretched in my seat. I wasn't remotely tired... and she never technically said which bed. I didn't respond to her last reply, instead I quickly slipped on my shoes and left through the balcony doors.

The night air was cool on my skin, winter now upon us. I cursed myself for not grabbing a jacket before I'd left, but then told myself to suck it up. She only lived next door, not two states away.

The driveway was empty as I'd predicted, her dad was at work. I could ring the bell and get her to come answer the door... but where would be the fun in that? The light was still on in her room, illuminating the tree before me. Its twisting limbs stopped right beside her window.

I'd eyed that tree before, and now seemed as good a time as any to test out the sturdiness of its branches.

My feet slipped on the damp moss that covered the trunk on my first attempt, but I persevered and finally managed to pull myself up on the first branch. I held steady for a few seconds before reaching for the next limb, and then the next, until I was balanced precariously on the one right outside her window.

She was sitting at her computer still, clad in Snoopy pyjamas. Her teeth were worrying her bottom lip as she stared back at the screen; she still had our chat box up. I smirked before raising my knuckles to the glass.

Her chair fell backwards to the carpet as she leaped from the seat, her hand clutched to her chest in fright. I gripped the branch above me tightly with my right hand, using my left to give her a salute.

Her fear soon turned to anger as she stormed over and pushed open the window.

"What the hell are you doing?" she hissed as she looked at the drop beneath us. "You're going to kill yourself!" Her expression turned to disbelief as she looked back to me.

"I came to say goodnight personally," I said with a wink. She stood back with her arms across her chest, trying to appear calm, but the way her eyes kept nervously flitting to the ground gave her away.

"You could have just used the front door like a _normal_ person, you know," she said, fidgeting on the spot.

"But this is more fun, no?" I joked as I moved forward a little. My feet wobbled and hands shook as my grip faltered.

"Oh my God! I swear if you don't get through this window right now..." she didn't continue her threat as she was too busy grabbing handfuls of my shirt to assist me inside.

As soon as my feet hit the carpet she was hitting me, fists thumping at my chest hard enough to make me wince.

"Don't do that again...ever!" she shouted, her hands now erratically running through her hair.

"I thought you'd like it, what with your love of the classics and everything."

She gave me a look that clearly portrayed I was crazy.

"You know? The whole Romeo and Juliet climbing through the window thing," I stated.

"Yeah, and look what happened to them," she mumbled as she walked backwards to perch on the edge of her bed.

"Neither of them fell out of a tree, Bella," I chuckled as I sat down beside her.

"Remind me to get metal bars across my window so you won't try it again," she said, a hint of a smile making its way across her lips.

"Whatever, you love my company. Don't deny it," I said, leaning back flat against the mattress.

"If you say so," she replied, turning slightly to face me.

"You didn't have to open the window," I told her as I gazed up at the ceiling.

"You were about to fall out of the damn tree and probably kill yourself, you idiot. You didn't really leave me with much of a choice," she snapped.

"Everyone has a choice, Bella," I stated as I looked across at her. She broke eye contact and started playing with a loose thread in the throw covering the end of her bed.

"Well, next time, make the choice of using the door," she grumbled.

"See, I knew you cared about me," I smirked. "It's natural for you to like me. There's nothing to be ashamed of."

She shook her head, laughing lightly as she threw a pillow at me. I shifted onto my stomach and picked up one of her stuffed toys resting on the top of the duvet. It was a pig.

"Does it have a name?" I asked, waving it in her direction. She looked between me and the pig before a huge smile crossed her face.

"Yeah, that's Edward." I snorted.

"See, you're my inspiration for his name," she teased, snatching _Edward_ from me to hold in her lap.

"Won't anybody notice you're gone?" she added as she glanced at the clock on her bedside table.

"Nope," I sighed as I leaned back on the mattress. "Why do you think I specifically asked for the room with the balcony? I'm free to come and go as I please."

She moved higher up the bed to rest against her pillows.

"So you do this a lot, then? Sneak into girls' rooms, I mean," she clarified. I eyed her slowly before answering.

"No, not a lot. I mean, if I do, I usually make them sleep on the floor while I take their bed," I shrugged. I was joking, but she didn't know that.

"So, if you don't mind," I said, nodding to the floor. She gave me her 'yeah right' look in return. I sat up with a smirk.

"Don't you dare," she warned. Needless to say, I ignored her.

I started pushing her gently, dodging her legs as she tried to kick me in her jest. "No," she laughed. "Edward, I'm going to fall."

Just as I was lowering her to the floor she grasped my shoulders and pulled me down with her. I fell partially on top of her, and her laughs turned into amused groans as I expelled my own grumblings.

"Always finding me irresistible," I teased with a wink. "We can both sleep down here if you want? Make a little fort with the covers."

She pointed a finger at me. "_You _can sleep down here, and _I," _she pointed her finger back to herself "will take the bed._"_

I gazed down at her with slightly pursed lips.

"I could always make you," I breathed. She squinted one eye as she pretended to process this seriously.

"Doubtful," she answered, her lip soon ending up between her teeth.

I hovered my face over hers and gazed down at her form. Her eyes seemed happy and light and her mouth was curled up into a soft smile. I suddenly wanted to kiss her again for maybe the third time today. In fact, I couldn't seem to stop wanting to kiss her. It was getting progressively harder not to.

Her hand brushed the side of my jaw as I closed the distance and covered her lips with mine.

I pulled her duvet from the bed to envelop us and figured we could both simply lie here. We could pretend that I was a charming prince and she was a damsel in distress.

He soft giggles filled my ears as I pulled the cover over our heads. I pressed my lips to hers harder.

We could pretend for a little while longer...yeah, just for a little while longer.

* * *

**Reviews will get a teaser for the next chapter. I'm going to try and stick to this time schedule now.**

**I have another rec this week. I'm sure a lot of you are already reading it, but just in case:**

**"Dead On My Feet" by Cesca Marie. So very good.**

**Thanks so much for reading. VHL xx**


	24. Chapter 24

**Hey everyone! Sorry this is a day later than I'd planned, I got caught up reading some great stories which I'll rec at the end of this chapter.**

**Thank you to all who read, review and alert - I appreciate it all so much.**

**Huge thank you to my beta SusanQ for correcting my mistakes - she is amazing.**

**Another huge thanks to jedigirlsc for prereading - she is such a help to me, I can't thank her enough.**

**And lastly thank you to Sunfeathers and xrxdanixrx for keeping the thread active and being general sweethearts.**

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer still owns Twilight. **

* * *

Bella

"Ouch," I mumbled sleepily, my eyes still tightly shut against the morning light. My back ached and my neck felt stiff. _Ugh, son of a..._

I brought my hand to my spine; my fingers attempted to ease the pain by pressing into the soft skin of my flesh gently - needless to say, it did nothing but make me groan again. I hadn't spent too many nights sleeping on the floor in my life so far, and waking feeling like this caused me to understand why I'd dodged it. _Shame I wasn't using the sensible part of my brain last night. The Cullen-men genes are dangerous. I need to buy them t-shirts with the universal sign attached to the word clearly visible on the front... and on the back - the exclamation point inside the triangle that clearly depicted "Shit will get hazardous if you ignore me!" clear for all to see. Maybe I could even add a heart with my name clearly printed in red at the last minute... just to add a bit of colour._

I turned over slowly and came face to face with a sleeping Edward. He looked different... younger in his slumber. His lips appeared plumper and his lashes seemed longer. He was pretty for a boy, not in a feminine, "I wear clear mascara to accentuate my flutter" kind of way; it was more of a understated beauty that mingled with the masculine outline of his jaw and scratchy stubble that covered it. His good looks could be displayed in any magazine or TV ad and not appear out of place. He was a head-turner all right.

We'd obviously fallen asleep at some point during the night... well, morning. He'd been so light hearted after he'd stupidly climbed the tree and entered through my bedroom window, joking with me and granting me kisses that he'd seemed so against only a few days before. I didn't know what had made him change his mind – if anything – but whatever it was left me with that seemingly constantly head spin that only he managed to create with such precision.

I contemplated getting up from the floor to crawl into my bed for just a few minutes more sleep when the unmistakeable sound of Charlie's cruiser pulling into the driveway caused me to bolt upright, the ache in my back ignored but not forgotten._ I'm about to be caught having an impromptu sleepover with a boy... by my chief of police father. A boy who is still sleeping and needs to wake up right-the-fuck now before he gets shot... or I get shot... maybe both of us, and then I'll be responsible for the imminent trip to the psych ward Charlie will no doubt have to take when he thinks I'm pregnant with the neighbour-boy's baby... and Edward is now mumbling beside me._

"Edward!" I hissed lowly, shaking him lightly in my panic - I was sure Charlie would be able to hear the forceful push of my hands through the ceiling if my actions were any rougher.

He mumbled something else I couldn't make out before I scrambled to my knees and started tapping his face... nothing. However, he did have a bit of drool on the side of his mouth, just like the cute puppy Renee and I had looked after for two weeks while one of our neighbours back in Arizona, had gone on vacation. _You should pet him._ Oh my God, that was so inappropriate, not to mention it was _so_ not the time for that.

I shook him – with again no success - and thought fuck it; desperate times called for desperate measures. I raised my palm, my head half turned with a wince, and slapped him across the face.

That woke him.

"What the fuck?" he exclaimed grumpily, a confused look in his eyes. I quickly clamped my hand over his mouth and put a finger on my own lips, indicating for him to shut the hell up. His eyes squinted into a half-glare, soon widening when he heard the front door open and close.

I raised a brow then gave my own glower back, showing him I wasn't slapping him simply for the sake of it. He still looked panicked as I slowly pulled my hand from the softness of his lips, even more so when Charlie's voice floated up the stairs.

"Bells, you awake?" Both our eyes seemed to gravitate towards the clock, surprise tainting our features when we noticed the late hour. _Shit._

I nearly bit through the skin of my bottom lip when I heard the heavy footfalls belonging to my father hit the stairs.

"Under the bed," I hissed at Edward, grabbing the pillows from underneath his head to shove back on the mattress. He obviously hadn't heard me as he was still sitting there. I grabbed his shoulders and pushed him back down to the floor, his mouth opening in shock.

"Bella, I don't think it's the best time to start jumping me," he whispered harshly. If my heart wasn't trying to beat itself from my chest, I would have burst out laughing at the ridiculousness of it all.

"This isn't a proposition, idiot," I said lowly, proceeding to roll him under the bed. "Charlie's on his way up the stairs."

That was all I needed to say to get him to conceal himself within seconds - it was actually pretty impressive. He didn't even groan when he smacked his head on the wooden bed frame.

The duvet followed the pillows onto the mattress and I just had enough time to crawl between the sheets before the anticipated knock sounded at my door.

"Hello," I mumbled, my voice filled with false tiredness. I even made sure to speak slightly into my pillow to make it sound more authentic.

"Is it okay to come in?" he asked. Charlie never walked in without asking permission first. Girls pretty much scared him; it had nothing to do with privacy. If he thought for one second I was fooling around with boys in my room, he'd probably remove my door completely.

"Yeah," I answered, adding a yawn in for good measure. My hands were balled into fists under my duvet, my breathing accelerated. I was sure Edward would cough or sneeze and give himself away. Or perhaps Charlie would see a foot sticking out from under the bed or something else incredibly cliché associated with these situations. My life was turning into one fuck-fest after another... just without the actual fucking.

I held my breath as Charlie popped his head around the door, his stance guarded, almost as if he'd walk in on me blowing kisses to framed pictures of Leo DiCaprio. _That ship sailed long ago, around about the same time he'd lost his curtain-styled hair. Oh, what a trend that had been. It had certainly influenced the boys in school. Of course, they all looked incredibly stupid and had used far too much gel; the green, smelly blobs of missed goo in their hair a dead give-away._

"Are you sick?" he asked, a furrow to his brows and a frown on his face. At least I think he was frowning, it was hard to tell with the size of his mustache. I always used to ask him as a child why he didn't shave it off. He said it gave him character, even when I insisted it spiked me in the face when he kissed my forehead goodbye that last day every summer.

I yawned for real this time, quickly bringing my hand to my mouth. "No," I said. "Why?"

He shifted on his feet as he pushed the door open a little wider, looked at his watch, then pointed to the clock. "It's eight-thirty." I'd realized that about two minutes before, but I couldn't let that show, otherwise I'd get the furrowed brows and _maybe_ frown again.

"Shit, really?" He looked about as shocked as I did when I realized I'd just cursed in front of him, which I never, ever did. I was a nervous wreck. I was certain my brow was sweating and my face was pale... well, paler. No wonder he'd asked if I was sick.

"Sorry," I blurted out quickly, sitting up far too quickly and unintentionally pushing a pillow off my bed in the process. It felt like time froze as we both kind of stared at it lying there on the carpet.

He took a step forward, but by that time, I'd thankfully sprung into action and was hanging half upside down as I leaned over to pick it up. My hair fell into a protective sheet around me as I took a quick glance under the bed. Edward's hand was right _there_ as if he was about to shove the pillow away from him or something. The boy obviously hadn't experienced many morning run-ins with parents. I would have been lying if that didn't make me feel a little happy inside. I couldn't smile and let it show though. I had to hide a lot of things lately, concealing a smile wasn't that big of a deal in comparison.

I was acting far too skittish, but hopefully my naturally clumsy nature covered this. Charlie cleared his throat, most likely feeling just as awkward as I did as he ran a hand over his jaw.

"Well, I'm going to take a quick shower before I get some sleep. The bathroom will be free in a few minutes," he stated as he glanced out to the hallway.

"Yeah, that's fine," I told him, my eyes practically burning holes in the door with the intensity in which I was staring at it, beyond hopeful that Charlie would leave through itso I could smuggle Edward out from my room.

"Right," he said with an absent nod. "I'm not working tomorrow, so perhaps we can go to the diner for dinner?" he suggested.

"Sounds good," I said with a smile. He gave one last nod before he left, thankfully closing the door behind him.

I fell back to the mattress and clutched my chest, willing my heart to calm its overzealous beat. I waited until I heard the shower start before dropping to the floor to peer once more under the bed.

Edward was smiling at me... _smiling_. Needless to say I kind of wanted to slap him for the second time that day.

"Well, that was... interesting," he said with a light chuckle. I gritted my teeth and settled for punching him pathetically in the arm instead.

"What was that for?" he asked as he slid out from beneath the bed. I tired to ignore the way his shirt had rode up and exposed his stomach. I stood quickly and walked to my window, my back now facing him. I couldn't be around him right now, everything was a joke to him; I didn't like it. My emotions were all over the place lately, up and down like a seesaw.

I tensed when I felt him settle behind me, his arms coming to rest on the window sill, effectively trapping me in his hold. I focused on the branches swaying outside as his chin came to rest on my shoulder, his cheek against mine, his stubble tickling my sensitive skin.

"You're angry with me," he stated with a sigh. I took my own deep breath and let it out slowly.

"I'm not," I replied, lying to him. I bit my lip and turned to face him, but I didn't look at his face. "We better get you out of here."

He didn't move, despite my hands feebly attempting to push at his chest. I knew he was waiting for me to meet his eyes, but I didn't want to be the one to give in first, despite how childish and stupid it was. It felt like I was always the one submitting to him. He never had anything to lose, only ever things to gain. He wasn't betraying anyone, he wasn't doing anything out of the ordinary. I bet he was like this with all of his "girlfriends". No commitment, doing only what suited him, never taking anything seriously. If he was in my position, would he go against what was right to see me? If he was supposed to be attached to someone else, would he become unfaithful? I didn't know where I stood, and I couldn't ask him. We'd agreed this wasn't a relationship, and I was afraid that if I said something I shouldn't, he would walk away... and despite my ever increasing anxieties, I didn't want him to.

His fingers came to my chin and pushed upwards, his own head drooping to put himself within my eye line. I stared back at him, not willing to do anything more than that. He closed his eyes briefly and dropped his arms, walking backwards until he was a few steps away from me. I felt relief and disappointment. I wanted him near, yet still distant. It made no sense, but nothing concerning Edward ever did.

I watched him put on his shoes and pause at my door, evidently waiting for me. I pushed myself from the window and silently passed him into the hallway. The water suddenly turned off in the bathroom and I didn't think twice about twisting to grab Edward's hand in mine to pull him along. Our hands fit; my smaller fingers twined with his seamlessly. The action made me feel safe, which was something that _didn't_ fit. I wasn't supposed to feel that, wasn't supposed to like it so much. I had to stop thinking about things like that if I didn't want to end up getting hurt. Some part of me knew it was only a matter of time until this blew up in our faces, and yet, I didn't care enough to stop it. Perhaps I felt I deserved the storm that would eventually tear everything apart.

I tried to be as quiet as possible walking down the stairs in my hurried state, and thankfully Edward seemed to be copying this as he was near enough silent behind me; the only sound he emitted was the hum of his breathing.

I dropped his hand as I got to the door, my features creased with apprehension as I undid the lock. As it clicked open, I held my breath, waiting for the sound of Charlie's voice to float down the stairs... but nothing came. A sigh of relief left my mouth as I pushed the door open for him to leave.

My arms had wrapped themselves around my body as I worried my bottom lip. He wasn't leaving fast enough, and if he didn't walk through that door, we'd get caught. We only had a little while to get ready for school, and he was wasting time. I didn't want him to go, but he had to.

I didn't want to have to see the disappointment and anger on Charlie's face if he saw me right now.

"Don't," Edward whispered, taking a step towards me; his presence suffocated me. I frowned and met his gaze, releasing my lip in the process.

"Don't what?" I asked as I stared back at his face. The light had gone from his eyes, the smile from earlier now absent. He went to speak but seemingly changed his mind, the slight banging from upstairs a reminder we didn't have time for a conversation.

"I'll see you in school," I told him, making the decision for both of us. I tried to smile, but it felt like it didn't quite reach its full potential. He ran a hand through his hair, nodded stiffly and left. He didn't press a kiss to my cheek like you saw time and time again in movies when the couple parted company and left. In fact, he didn't even look back as he jogged across the lawn to his own driveway. I couldn't blame him, not really. I wasn't being myself... whatever that entailed anymore, anyway.

"Someone at the door, Bells?" Charlie's voice caused me to jump; I hadn't heard him come down the stairs.

"Um, no. I thought I heard someone knock, but obviously I hadn't," I said, hoping my cheeks weren't flushed with my lies.

"Right," he voiced. "Well..." he cleared this throat and pointed to the clock on the wall, reminding me I was going to be very late for school unless I went and got dressed now.

"Shoot, yeah," I ran past him, slipping a little on the third stair, wincing as I rubbed the sore spot on my knee from where I had marginally banged it on the rail. "I'm okay," I told him as I continued to my room. I didn't miss the way he tried to hide the twitch of his lips - he was used to my clumsiness by now.

I speedily got dressed into my uniform and pulled my hair into a high ponytail. I swiped some mascara on my lashes, and once I'd given my teeth a quick brush, I was back down the stairs and out the door with my bag half hanging on my arm in my haste. I'd heard Charlie retreat to his room not minutes before, so I knew that I didn't need to lock the door behind me.

As I neared the Cullen's house, I saw Alice come out the front door by herself. She looked up, no doubt hearing the crunch of the gravel beneath my shoes and immediately made her way over to meet me.

"I wasn't sure you were coming today," she said as she hugged me. I giggled and pulled back to look at her face.

"Why wouldn't I?" I asked with a confused smile. She rolled her eyes and tucked her choppy hair behind her ear. It had grown quite a bit since the start of summer.

"Well, you were sick yesterday, and you haven't been answering your phone... all morning I might add," she huffed. I'd forgotten about that, my supposed being unwell. I pursed my lips and searched through my bag, scooping up my cell; dead battery.

"Sorry, Allie," I sighed, waving my phone slightly in my hand. "My battery's dead." She smiled despite herself.

"I figured as much. I swear you'd forget your head if it wasn't screwed on," she winked, twirling to face the door when the others filed out.

"So I see you found the stray then," Em shouted, laughing to himself as he opened the door to the Jeep. I rolled my eyes and allowed Alice to link our arms as we walked towards the vehicle.

"Funny," I said when I was standing before him. He kissed my cheek and gave me that dimpled smile that caused him to get away with practically anything; he knew its powers as well.

I could see Edward was still home, his car parked beside the Jeep. And as soon as that thought transpired, he appeared at the top of the balcony, smoke leaving his mouth in a cloudy exhale. I couldn't stop myself from staring at him, his tie around his neck but not knotted, and his hair seemingly more untidy than his usual wayward style.

His eyes met mine and held my blatant staring for a few seconds before he broke our gaze and glanced beside me. I followed his eyes and found Jasper staring curiously at me. I momentarily panicked but gave him a smile, to which he returned easily.

Edward stubbed his cigarette out and disposed of it before he jogged down the steps to get to his car. He jabbed Em and Jazz in the arm as he passed, and even gave Alice and Rose a smile - albeit Rose's looked completely false. I doubted he meant it; it was just their thing.

"Rough night?" Rose asked, moving her finger in his direction, matching the sweeping movement of her eyes.

"No," he answered, attempting to knot his tie without looking at what he was doing.

"Bullshit," Rose laughed. "Who's the unlucky girl?" I turned my head to the side and pretended I wasn't listening. My legs felt shaky and I wanted nothing more than for the ground to open up and swallow me whole.

He snorted and ran a hand through his hair. "None of your fucking business, that's who," he replied.

Alice clicked her tongue as she watched Edward continue to fumble with his tie and went over to help him, slapping his hands away when he carried on trying to do it himself.

"It would help if you actually looked at it while trying to tie it," she admonished. He didn't say anything, just tapped her on the head, knowing that specific action pissed her off. She scrunched up her face, looking more like a younger version of herself, matching many of the photos of her and Edward around the Cullen household that I'd finally gotten to see per Esme's insistence.

"Like we don't all know anyway," Rose said, examining her nails. I grasped the straps of my school bag tightly in my fists, the material taking the brunt of my fear. My mouth felt dry and I wished I'd grabbed a bottle of water before leaving the house.

Em slung his arm over Rose's shoulder and jostled her slightly, willing her to continue. "Well, Tanya obviously," she said rolling her eyes. "We all heard what James said yesterday."

I'd somehow managed to forget all about that, but Rose's words brought it back to the forefront of my mind. I suddenly felt extremely nauseous.

"Ugh, I wanted to inflict pain on him yesterday, so much," Alice said, rejoining me. She looked at my face and frowned. "You okay, Bella? You look a little pale."

I gave what I hoped was a reassuring smile and nodded. "Yeah, just still a little drained from yesterday, I guess."

She ran her hand through my ponytail, smoothing the strands of hair as she replied. "I hope Jake looked after you properly. If not, we'll be having words," she said seriously. I quickly shook my head.

"No, he did. You don't need to say anything," I rambled. I felt incredibly obvious and was sure everyone knew I was lying.

I could feel Edward's gaze on me, but I wouldn't meet it. Instead, I turned to Em and asked if we were ready.

"School, here we come," he winked, opening the door for me with a flourish. I snorted and pulled myself into the back seat, moving over to the end so Alice could climb in after me. Rose walked over to the passenger side and slid into the front seat beside Emmett. We were now only waiting for Jasper, who was talking to Edward about something or other beside the Volvo.

"Come on Jazz!" Alice shouted out the still open door. She fiddled with her skirt before reaching forward between the two front seats to scroll through the radio stations until she found a song she liked.

I was surreptitiously watching Edward and Jasper speak, curious as to what they were talking about. Edward was smiling, so it couldn't have been that serious. Jazz squeezed his shoulder in a friendly way before jogging over and getting in beside Alice.

"Right, buckle up everyone, we're going for a ride," Em announced from the front seat. Rose rolled her eyes with a smile on her face as she gazed out the window while the rest of us laughed at his silliness.

Not surprisingly, Edward managed to pull out before us, beeping his horn at the Mercedes that passed him in the opposite direction, coming towards the house. I instantly recognized the head of blond hair behind the wheel and felt that little flutter I got whenever I saw him. _So pathetic._

Dr. Cullen had obviously just finished a shift at the hospital, and rolled his window down to say something to Emmett. I stared like the creeper I apparently was, and sighed wistfully at the thought of jumping out of the car to take a nap with the good doctor. He could massage my shoulders and ease all my worries._ I bet he sleeps in pajama bottoms with an elastic waistband for easy access. They'd slip easily from his hips... all the way to the holy land._ _It'd be better than passing "GO", collecting $200 and owning property on Boardwalk in a game of Monopoly... while being the iron, of course. I'm _always_ the iron._

We eventually started moving again and I once more focused on the people inside the car, rather than outside of it. A song came on that caused Alice to grab my hand in excitement, my lips soon forming the words along with her.

OoOoO

I'd forgotten my gym clothes in my rush this morning, so I was currently wearing a spare shirt belonging to Rose, and a pair of Alice's shorts; needless to say they only just covered my butt cheeks. I walked out of the changing rooms with my hands covering my ass, and stuck as close to the wall as possible. I knew I wouldn't be able to stay like this all class, but I was going to give it a damn good try. Coach Clapp could kiss it. _Gross, Bella._ Speaking of...

Coach Clapp wandered out of his tiny office that always stunk of sweaty feet and blew the whistle that, at all times, hung around his neck to get our attention. The only piece of equipment currently out on the floor was a cart full of the tan balls I hated so much. It was with both trepidation and hate that I looked back at our balding gym teacher. We were going to be playing fucking dodge ball, I just _knew_ it.

"I'm going to split you into two teams. The names I call need to go and grab a bib from the bucket over at the side there," he said, pointing to a cheap plastic box covered with now faded stickers of some sort. "The other team will be fine as they are."

I looked to Alice, who I knew disliked this game as much as I did. Rose and Emmett on the other hand, were practically rubbing their hands together in glee. With their agility, they were bound to find this a piece of cake.

I chanced a glance at Edward who looked as impassive as ever. Then my eyes found James, who was whispering something in Laurent's ear. I continued to watch as a sly smile soon formed on Laurent's lips. I didn't even want to know who they were planning to target, I just really hoped it wouldn't be me.

I seriously doubted anyone would pursue me, to be honest. I'd probably trip in front of a ball meant for someone else, signaling double embarrassment and game over for me. I wasn't competition enough to be of interest... _hopefully_.

Coach Clapp started to call names off the clipboard in his hands, Jessica and Lauren just being two of them. Rose's name got picked and she winked at us playfully as she went off to get her bib. As the names went on, Jasper put his arms around both mine and Alice's shoulders, promising to protect us both.

"That's sweet, Jazz, but I can take care of myself. Concentrate on Bella instead," she said, her eyes firmly on James with a fierce glint in her eye. It was true, despite Alice's hate of this game – she thought it was unnecessarily violent – she was pretty good at the whole _'dodging'_ part.

"Seriously, I'll probably get hit in the first five seconds. Save yourself!" I said over dramatically, laughing when he rolled his eyes.

Edward's name was the last to be called. Jessica immediately ran to him to grab his arm and pull him over to where Lauren and Tanya stood. I turned away quickly, pretending that her skin touching his didn't bother me, when really it made my chest ache. I knew it was stupid to react like that, but I couldn't help it.

I scanned my own team, noticing James and Laurent were still standing near me, along with Em, Jasper and Alice. Mike and Tyler seemed to be talking strategies while Jane and Victoria looked bored. I knew from previous gym classes that those two girls in particular were ruthless, so I was kind of glad they were still standing on the same side I was, even if I did think they were heinous bitches.

"Ugh, I wish he was on the other team," Alice moaned, pointing to where James was currently standing. I laughed but secretly disagreed; I didn't want Alice to get hurt, and I knew he'd have no qualms in throwing a few balls her way if she went for the attack.

Mike helped Coach Clapp line the balls between the two teams. I never even bothered attempting that part - I wasn't fast enough to get one of those balls, which usually meant I'd stand on the back line until someone put me out of my misery.

Both teams lined up at the specified distance from the eight balls that lay in the middle between us, most with one foot behind the other in preparation to sprint to get their hands on the the tan coloured prize.

I was standing between Alice and Jasper, who were both smiling mischievously at Rose opposite us. I knew they wouldn't aim for each other, they were simply playing. It was comforting to know that we could – _maybe_ – have a little fun with this.

The whistle blew, causing a flurry of movement and squeaking shoes as bodies flew past me. I held back, not surprised that Em and Jasper had both managed to get a ball. Alice hadn't been quite quick enough, but that didn't matter, she'd soon have one.

A ball instantly whizzed past my head; I hadn't seen it coming, but I could see who had thrown it. Jessica was glaring at me, Lauren not far from her side. I realized I was stupid not to think I'd be a target when I shared a class with those two, they'd never liked me. Another one flew towards me and Jasper jumped in front of me and hit the ball away with his own. He gave me a wink as he aimed the ball straight at Eric Yorkie who was busy staring at his sister's boobs.

James and Laurent seemed to be in some sort of tag team; one of them had a ball at all times. Alice scrambled for a loose ball, beating Tyler to it, who turned his back at the wrong moment and received a ball smack on the side of his thigh. Coach Clapp pointed for him to go sit on the bleachers, his face moody as he sank down next to Eric.

Emmett threw one at Edward, laughing when it narrowly missed him. Edward retaliated and directed one right back at him, smirking when it grazed the top of his right arm. Coach pointed his finger to the side and Em despondently left to join the others now out of the game.

A ball landed near my feet, which I just about managed to dodge; however, I ended up falling to my knees in the process, which turned out to be a _really_ good thing as a ball with an impressive amount of speed appeared over my hand and slammed into the wall behind me with sickening force.

My head snapped up and met the cold, blue eyes of Tanya, who gave me a sweet grin before looking away again. She had a ball in her hands, which made me think it couldn't have been her... but then why the smile?

Alice aimed one at Jessica, smiling when it hit her in the head.

"That was a perfect example of 'airhead'," she giggled, jumping back when a ball came our way. I laughed along with her, and checked to see who was left standing on our team. We had five players left: Jazz, Alice, Mike, James and myself.

I saw a ball heading towards me and instinctively held the ball in my hands in front of me, sending it away in another direction. I was getting pissed now, and didn't think twice about sending it over the other side. Of course, I should have looked before throwing, as it missed absolutely everyone.

Rose took out Mike next, who ended up hobbling to the sidelines as she'd got a pretty good hit at his ankle. We were four players then; Edward, Rose, Tanya and Lauren being the players left on the other team.

Edward produced a ball from behind his back that I hadn't seen, and sent it flying straight into James' chest, earning a grunt from him as he bent forward and clutched his sides on impulse.

James stood and eyed Edward equably... almost too calmly. Edward smirked back and pointed to the benches smugly. Alice cursing pulled me away from the both of them. I immediately bent down beside her as she glared back at Lauren.

"You okay?" I asked her, ducking instinctively even thought nothing was there. I looked to Alice and we both smiled.

"I'm fine," she answered, slyly pushing a ball towards me. "Sic her," she hissed. I took a deep breath and nodded, hoping I would be at least be able to aim it in her direction, unlike last time.

I swiftly got to my feet, took aim the best I could, and let it go. I raised up on my toes in anticipation, falling back down to my heels when it missed her by inches. She laughed at me, but soon stopped when a ball hit her on the elbow. I knew it hadn't come from Jasper, as he was currently in a friendly battle with Rose. I furrowed my brows and turned around, laughing when I realized I'd missed Jane. She arched a brow at her friend and immediately picked up another that took Rose out of the game.

That left three against two, which rapidly turned into two, as Jasper took a hit for me. I felt useless and guilty, and promised myself I would make him a plate of his favourite cookies... and maybe do the Snoopy dance for him.

I was pretty sure it would stay at just baking the cookies, though.

Tanya and Edward against me and Jane. I knew Jane wouldn't throw her ball at Tanya, and vice versa, which pretty much meant I'd be getting a ball to the face from her any second now. She stared back at me, ball ready between her palms, but she made no move to actually release it.

Jane threw her ball to the floor in anger when Edward got her out; I hadn't seen where he'd hit her, but Coach Clapp was pointing to where Alice and Rose were currently cheering me on.

In simple terms, I was fucked. I had no ball, and knew if I turned to pick up a stray one, I'd get hit without seeing it coming. I didn't fancy face-planting the floor.

Tanya didn't look smug, or any of the other things I had expected. She looked just as coolly as James had before. I could see her arm move and braced myself for her hit.

I naturally let out a natural huff of breath when I got knocked, the ball smacking me in the stomach... but what shocked me the most, was that it hadn't come from Tanya.

The blow hadn't hurt physically, it was a tame throw, but as I looked up at the face who had thrown it, it hurt in other ways.

Edward stared back at me steadily, his eyes intense. I felt a lump form in my throat, and along with the uncomfortable sting in my eyes, I thought I was about to cry. I gritted my teeth, determined not to shed one tear over what had just happened. I turned away from him - from both of them, and made my way to the bleachers. Nobody thought it odd, everyone continued to talk amongst themselves. Rose and Alice gave Edward disgusted looks, while Em scooped me up, exclaiming I was a machine. Jasper, however, was looking at me sadly. I didn't understand his expression, he knew Edward as well as anybody. He was competitive and thought of himself. He could be cruel. This was a side I didn't see of him often, but it existed, just like my own selfish side; so why was I getting sympathetic looks?

"He's going to find toothpaste on his pillowcase tonight," Alice fumed, sitting down next to me as she glared at her brother.

I could see Edward start to move in our direction, but Coach Clapp blew his whistle and congratulated both Tanya and Edward on a game well played. He then dismissed us, class thankfully now over.

"Bella!" I knew who was calling me, but I didn't want to hear what he had to say. I was naïve to think he liked me as anything more than a plaything. Jake would have never done what he had, ever. He wouldn't hurt me like that. I'd chosen wrongly. My behaviour, my actions, all of it, had been so, so wrong.

I rushed into the girls' changing rooms and immediately took my clothes from my locker. I could hear Jessica laughing with Lauren from the row before mine, the sound making me retreat to one of the toilet stalls to change. I locked the door behind me and closed my eyes. I didn't realize I was crying until I felt the warmth of tears trail down my cheeks and quickly swiped at them with the back of my hand. I looked up at the ceiling, trying to blink back the remainder of tears that wanted to fall.

I changed slowly, hoping that the sign of my sore eyes would disappear with the extra time I took. When dressed, I sat on the closed lid and held the borrowed gym clothes in my lap. I stared blankly at the grey stall door, listening as more and more people left, the noise dimming.

"Bella?" Rose called, knocking on the door. "You ready to go to lunch?" I stood and checked myself in the mirror, wincing when I noticed my mascara had run slightly.

"Not quite," I shouted back. "Go ahead, I'll meet you in there."

"You sure? We can wait," Alice called through the door.

"Yeah, honestly. It's that time of the month, so I'm feeling all blah," I lied.

"Ugh, I know what you mean," Alice said with a groan. "I'll save you a seat."

"Thanks," I told them both, staring back at my own reflection.

I grabbed some paper towel and turned on the tap, wetting the material. I rubbed the black smudges from under my eyes, patting the skin gently with dry ones afterward. I unlocked the door and left the stall, the sound of my shoes padding across the tiles echoing in the otherwise silent room.

I folded the clothes in my bag to take home with me to wash and made my way to the door. I grasped the handle and pulled the door open, immediately letting it shut again when I saw who was waiting there outside for me.

My forehead fell to the wall, my fists soon joining it. No...

"You've got to come out some time," he shouted. I looked for another door, _anything_, but apart from the windows – and I wasn't about to try that – that was the only exit.

I said nothing, hoping he'd take the hint... no such luck. He pushed the door open, my mouth opening in shock as he closed it behind him.

"What are you doing?" I hissed, staring at him incredulously. "Get out!"

He clenched his jaw and grabbed my hand, pulling me back in the direction I'd just come. "Keep your voice down," he whispered harshly back at me.

I laughed and pulled myself free from his grip. "You don't get to tell me what to do, not anymore."

"You're not going to let me explain?" he asked, taking a step towards me, his eyes dark.

"What's to explain?" I said with a shrug. "You're a jerk. End of discussion."

He was too close again, reaching out for my hand, wanting something that wanted him back.

"I did it for you," he stated. He had to be joking. I wanted to laugh, but I was afraid my hysterics would soon turn into tears.

"Don't you fucking dare!" I cried, pushing at his chest. How dare he turn this around. Was he stupid?

I dumped my bag on the floor and glared at him. "Why would you do that, huh? Because of this morning? Was this some pathetic form of retaliation?"

He looked angry now, which made me even more determined. He had no right to be upset with me.

"I fucking saw the way they targeted you in there, Bella," he shouted, pointing at people that weren't in the room. "I didn't want her to have that over you... I didn't want _any _of them to."

I closed my eyes and swallowed the lump that was forcing its way back into my throat. His words made no sense to how I was feeling. I was supposed to be angry with him, yet all I wanted to do was fall against his chest and have his arms wrap themselves around me.

"I didn't mean to hurt you," he said, his hands now on my face, his thumbs gliding gently over my cheeks.

"You didn't," I answered back automatically, ignoring the ache in my chest where my heart was beating.

I wrapped my arms around my chest, trying to put distance between the two of us. He had too much power over me, and while I wanted to believe his reasons, I didn't think I could. It all came down to trust... and the truth was I didn't know if I could ever trust him not to hurt me.

His forehead fell to mine, his lips pressing against the side of mouth in whispers against my skin. "I don't want anyone else right now," he breathed, kissing me again. "Only you. I won't fool around with anyone else until we end this."

My lips parted from his words, my cheeks warm; I felt like I couldn't breathe. But I didn't miss the end parts of those first and last sentences... _'right now' _and _'end this'._

This was the first time he'd ever spoken about anything like this, and I liked the way they sounded coming from his lips. But... there was always a negative to a positive.

"You know I can't believe you, right?" I whispered, my voice trembling. He took a step away from me and emotions shone in his eyes that looked so out of place on his face.

"Do you want to stop this?" he asked, sounding completely detached, standing there looking prettier than he had any right to.

I should have walked away from this. Run far away from it and not looked back. It was my head battling against my heart. I'd fallen too deeply, never once realizing just how much, until I'd gotten upset over a stupid game. He'd done something he thought was right for me. His actions had hurt, but he'd meant them to be caring. How could I separate that? I wasn't sure if I could.

It was no longer just physical for me. I wanted so much more, but more importantly, I wanted him to want it back. I had to speak to Jake. I had to explain to him that I loved him... just differently, and not enough.

I licked my lips and took a deep breath. There was no point in hesitating, my heart had won out. It had stitched up its wounds and continued to beat for him. "No, I don't want to stop."

The tides had turned, it was far too late to swim back to shore.

I took a step towards him and lost myself in his eyes and the warmth of his hand. _You fit, right here._

"I'm sorry," he said, sounding so sincere that I didn't have any other choice than to accept his apology and store it away for another time.

I closed my eyes as his lips touched my forehead and hoped I wouldn't end up stranded on the island that belonged to broken hearts and lost souls. I didn't want to become one of those ghosts.

* * *

**Reviews will get a teaser for the next chapter.**

**I have a few recs this week, all by the same author.**

**"Starry Eyed Inside", "Oceanic" and "Volition" by Rochelle Allison. The first one is only three chapters in and already owns me. It's so good. The last two are complete and are just as amazing.**

**Thank you so much for reading. VHL xxx**


	25. Chapter 25

**Hey everyone! Thanks so much to all who continue to read and review. I know I always repeat my thanks, but I truly appreciate every PM and alert.**

**Massive thank you to my wonderful beta SusanQ. She is amazing, and incredibly generous with her time.**

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**And thanks to Sunfeathers and xrxdanixrx for their continued thread posts. Their thoughts make me smile.**

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns Twilight. Blah, blah, blah.**

* * *

Bella

November came and went. It drifted away with the cold winter breeze and heavy swirls of cotton-like mist. The days dragged on, all filled with hats, scarves and favoured woollen gloves to keep the chill from your fingers.

The weather seemed to match my mood. I still felt unsure with Edward; even now, I was left wandering out in the cold. I still felt weighted down by guilt, blinded by the mist. And I was still undecided about Jake, my warmth and security blanket.

Over the past couple of weeks I'd tried on numerous occasions to tell him how I felt, but each time I worked up the courage to speak to him about it, he would change the direction of our conversation and the moment would disappear. I would lose that spark of resolution and settle back into hopelessness, waiting until a new moment arrived. I would tell myself that next time would be different, but it never was. I'd given myself a deadline - _before Christmas; _I didn't want to start the New Year lying to my friends. I didn't want to start out a new year being untrue to myself. I wanted to be able to part the clouds, find the sun and be happy with the choices I'd made.

Charlie had come home from the station not ten minutes before and suggested we pick out a Christmas tree later that afternoon, when I'd returned home from school. He told the boys at work he may be a little late, but with all the extra shifts he'd been picking up lately, they had no cause to complain. He, of course, invited Billy and Jake to come with us, as well as Seth Clearwater from across the street. I'd yet to meet Leah's younger brother, but everyone spoke well of him. He was four years my junior and apparently idolized Jake.

I jumped at the click of Charlie's bedroom door as it shut, nearly stumbling as I pulled on my new knee-length socks. They were dark green with a singular gold bow attached at the sides. Alice and Esme had picked up festive pairs for both Rose, Alice and I on the trip to Seattle they'd taken last weekend. Rose's pair were white with silver beading, and Alice's were red with a little purple bell attached at each side. Em and Jazz got reindeer and Santa Claus ankle socks. And Edward? Well, he got a pair donned with little elves. As soon as Alice held them out to him, his eyes had widened comically before he shoved them back into the bag they'd come from. He mumbled a thanks to Esme and glared at Alice, who gave a dainty wave of her fingers in return.

I could hear Charlie's voice low and mumbled through the door, my brows automatically furrowing at the sound. _Who is he talking to? Perhaps he's lost the plot... after all, Alice has been chewing his ear off about the perfect table decorations for the past two days. Christmas cheer could have pushed him over the proverbial tinsel-decorated edge._

He'd been acting strange for a while now, but I'd been putting it down to tiredness. Now I wasn't so sure.

He laughed suddenly, the noise sounding foreign at seven-twenty in the morning. I mean, I knew he had a cell phone, but I didn't think he actually _used_ it for anything other than to check up on me. The only other reason I could think of was so that I'd always be able to contact him wherever he was.

He was most likely just speaking to Billy about tonight, double checking times and talking about last night's football scores. I knew about the mini portable TV in the station that he probably pretended to ignore if anyone else was around, but night shifts or no night shifts, I knew he wouldn't miss a game if he could help it.

I quickly placed a hairband onto my head and crept to the door, slowly pulling it towards me to create a larger gap for me to slide through. My feet softly padded across the carpet to his door, my ear pressing against the wood so I could define his words with more clarity.

"Yeah, just tell Seth to come over here about four-thirty," he said into the phone. _What?_ _Was Seth staying with Billy now?_ I pushed my ear harder against the door, hoping that would somehow help everything make sense.

_Wait... unless it wasn't Billy on the other line. But then who else would he be talking to so early on a Friday morning?_

"You too, bye." His voice sounded softer... he was definitely not talking to a man. _Was Charlie _seeing_ someone... and was that someone, Sue Clearwater? _

I quickly scurried back to my room, careful to make as little noise as possible as I closed my door behind me. Charlie couldn't be dating anyone... he wasn't allowed. He was my dad... and old, and his mustache was far too big and covered half of his face. Men like that watched sports and drank beer and left dirty dishes in the sink. They didn't speak softly to widowed women from across the street or take their son to pick up their Christmas tree.

Oh my God, my dad was actually dating. It all made sense now. The look of shock on Sue's face in the supermarket during the condom incident – she'd probably thought Charlie had been trying to get her in the sack. _And, ewww old person sex._

Okay, so he wasn't _that_ old, but still, he's my dad... gross_. Why couldn't this be the type of house that held liquor other than Charlie's disgusting beer. There should be seasonal spirits... eggnog laced with lots of brandy. I should really speak to Charlie about setting a bar up in the corner of the living room. I'd buy some of those little umbrellas and tooth picks for olives that would end up getting eaten straight out the jar - using them for drinks be damned. We wouldn't be that type of establishment... not that I'd start running an illegal bar in my own home or anything. Sure Charlie would be at work at night, but no. Although... I could leave the back door open and make a tidy profit with underhanded dealings of eggnog, olives and maybe even some salted nuts..._

My cell buzzed and dragged me away from the result of too many bad TV shows corrupting my impressionable mind. I glanced at the screen and sighed. _Edward._

He'd been doing this a lot the past week, texting me in the mornings with his dirty thoughts and ridiculous ideas. He'd also climbed through my window once more since that first night he'd done it, and just like the last time, I'd given him shit for it.

It made me feel incredibly uneasy and panicky, yet it seemed to have the complete opposite effect on him. His feet would hit the carpet with that half smile on his face, his expression one of glee. I'd wanted to push him back out and kiss him senseless all at the same time.

My eyes scanned the message, scrolling down, wanting more and more words, however stupid they may be.

_I dreamed about you last night. - E._

I bit my lip to stop the smile forming on my face as I messaged him back.

_Yeah? Was I running away from you screaming? - B._

I sank to my mattress as I awaited his reply, all the while fighting the urge to lie back and mess up my hair after I'd just brushed it out. Thankfully he messaged me back almost straight away.

_Funny. No, you had to wait on me for a day while wearing a collar like some sex slave. - E._

I wrinkled my nose as I typed out my response.

_You're disgusting. - B._

_Hey, I'm personally not into the kinky stuff... for future reference. You on the other hand seemed to like it... a lot. Something you want to tell me? - Master._

I snorted and set my phone aside. I should have stopped it there, but there was something intensely addictive about Edward that I could never quite put my finger on. It wasn't just one thing. It wasn't something obvious, like he always wore the nicest smelling aftershave, and that was it. There were many things that equated to him being desirable. It was a deadly concoction that was impossible to ignore.

I sighed as I picked up the source that held the combined letters that spelled out words that traveled straight to the beat inside my chest.

_Yeah, you're seriously disturbed. Even your pretty hair won't save you. In fact... it does tend to stick up in all directions. Escaped any facilities lately? - Worried bystander._

_You didn't have a problem grabbing my *manly* hair when you attacked me with your lips yesterday. I think you're disturbed for liking the disturbed. - E._

_I felt sorry for you, there was no 'liking' of anything. P.S. The pretty little stars by 'manly' make it look anything but. - B._

I laughed out loud into the quiet of my room, imagining the frustration in his features as he read my response. I swung my feet out in front of me, my feet tickling the carpet as they brushed back and forth.

_Stop distracting me, I'm going to shower. - E._

He didn't like to lose.

_You messaged me first. - B._

_Always with the technicalities. I'll be thinking of you. - E._

I'd found he also liked to have the last word.

_Sick. Go away. I'm going to go eat a granola bar and think of sweet things like bunnies and squirrels. - B._

_Squirrels? Weirdo. - E._

_Shut up. Squirrels can be cute. - B._

_They're rodents... vermin. Valuable tip for you, because I'm a good person, don't feed them, ever. You'll never get rid of them. - E._

_They suspiciously sound a lot like you. - B._

_Must be why you're thinking of them then. See you at school. - E._

This time I didn't think twice about falling back onto my bed, a groan of annoyance leaving my parted lips. There was no point in replying as he'd probably turned his phone off for the time being.

It was a lot easier to speak with him when he wasn't around me lately. I had no problem typing out responses through my cell or computer, but after I'd gotten home from crying in the stall of a toilet after that horrible day at school a few weeks back, I'd been a little more hesitant around him.

I tried not to appear still hurt by it, and the truth was, I didn't care anymore. Not really. I'd become over emotional about something that wasn't at all serious. I think I'd been suffering through a case of the over-dramatics that day. It was a silly game that I'd let get to me much more than it should have. If it had been anyone else, I wouldn't have reacted the way I had. I think it was simply that I'd started seeing him differently. Amongst all that confusion, I had mistaken south for north and turned myself upside down, resulting in all my emotions crashing together to form wells in my eyes that leaked their stupid tears.

My hands fisted my duvet as I pulled myself up into a sitting position, the strain in my fingers felt good. I slid off the bed and grabbed my school bag, pausing to frown at myself in the mirror; my once tidy hair was now frizzy at the back. I swiped my brush from my dresser and ran it through the length of my locks, wincing as I pulled too harshly on an unknown tangle. I readjusted my hairband and dumped my brush in my bag as I opened my bedroom door.

Granola bar in hand, I dropped down onto the sofa to watch some early morning cartoons that I hadn't watched in forever. I laughed at the hosts of a kids' show. Their overly-friendly voices seemed so put on, I was sure they drank heavily when the cameras stopped rolling to help them forget about the clapping and singing and dancing in circles.

At eight-ten, I decided to just head over to Alice's now rather than wait here by myself. She was sure to still be getting ready, but someone else was bound to up and awake. _Like Dr. Cullen. _Exactly.

I contemplated shouting up to Charlie that I was leaving, but decided against it in case he was already asleep. I didn't want to wake him if he'd already succumbed to slumber. I slipped on my coat and gloves and left through the front door.

As I neared the Cullen house, my eyes unconsciously drifted to Edward's balcony door. My feet momentarily paused as I deliberated whether I should risk sneaking up to his room. I didn't think anyone could see me, but they could easily spot me if they passed by the giant hallway window that looked out to the front of the property.

I bounced up onto the pads of my feet, my teeth worrying my lip as I took a few more seconds to decide. My feet made the decision for me as they automatically moved forward.

I kept my head down as I took one step at a time, hoping I was being silent enough not to draw attention to myself. My fingers wrapped themselves around the handle, a silent prayer sent towards the cloud filled sky, hoping that the door wouldn't be locked – it wasn't.

A smile formed on my lips as I opened it a little, my body pushing forward into the heavy curtains that were still pulled shut. He had music playing lowly, a song I didn't recognize. It felt a little weird stepping into his room without him knowing, I wasn't used to walking into someone else's room without permission. I was brought up to respect others' privacy.

I could hear him moving about inside as he got ready for school, unintelligible murmurs assailing my ears. I pushed the curtain aside and quietly closed the door behind me. His back was to me from the other side of his room. He was rummaging through the bottom of his closet for something, a 'fucking finally' exhaled into the air when he'd found what it was he'd been looking for.

My hands fumbled with the straps of my bag as I waited for him to stand and turn... and probably startle. I felt jittery, then stupid for feeling like that. He'd turned up at my house unannounced enough. It was payback time.

He was in the process of getting up from the floor when I bent down to whisper in his ear.

"You should really learn to lock your door." I pulled the gloves from my hands and stuffed them into my coat pockets.

I was right about startling him. His shoulders visibly raised before he half twisted himself around to ultimately fall back on his knees.

"Jesus, Bella," he breathed, his eyelids lowering to meet his bottom lashes as he narrowed his eyes at me.

I smiled sweetly and took a step back, joining my hands together to hang in front of me as he got to his feet.

"I'm thinking of getting involved in home safety groups," I shrugged, trying to keep a straight face as I removed my bag from my shoulders. I failed and started laughing almost immediately after the words left my mouth.

He threw the item of clothing on his bed and stalked after me until my back hit the wall behind me. My heart raced in excitement as I gazed steadily into his amused eyes, but that awkwardness was still there slightly. I wanted... _needed_ to get rid of it.

"How was your shower?" I asked as I longed to reach out and touch his still damp hair.

He smirked as he turned his head slightly to the side before focusing back on me. "It was good. I got clean."

I blushed and looked at the floor as I replied. "Good. Personal hygiene is important... yeah."

He snorted at my words and lifted my face with his fingers under my chin. "I've had no complaints yet," he breathed against my jaw.

His lips touched my skin, igniting flames that licked at the surface; I closed my eyes just as his mouth pressed warm kisses onto my neck. His fingers slid open the top few buttons of my shirt as his lips descended to my collarbone.

I wanted him to continue until his hands were on my skin, but we didn't have time.

"Edward," I whispered, my own hands moving to his shoulders as I unwillingly pushed him away. "We have school."

"I know, good observational skills," he replied, stepping closer and grasping the back of my thighs as he lifted me up.

My legs wrapped themselves around his waist as he pressed against me, my hands finally in his hair as I brought my mouth down to his. I loved kissing him, more than anything else we did. He'd been more generous in allowing me to touch my lips to his. I knew he wasn't entirely comfortable with doing it as much as I wanted, but he'd only turned me down a few times.

The more I kissed Edward, the more I felt nothing when kissing Jake. In that relationship, I'd been the one turning him down. He must have noticed, but he never said anything. He'd been kissing my cheeks and forehead a lot more than usual, so he must have sensed something wasn't right. Whether it was intentional or not didn't matter, the reasons behind the change were always the same.

Edward pouted slightly as I broke away and I couldn't stop myself from biting his bottom lip. I ran my tongue across it afterward, tasting the mint of his toothpaste. I kissed him again, this time a little more forcefully.

He shifted against me, my moan sounding loud even to my own ears. I felt myself being carried away from the wall, but didn't care enough to open my eyes to find out where.

My back hit the mattress and I giggled against his mouth as we bounced a little. "Your laughing isn't good for my ego," he told me with a frown as he pulled his face back to look at me.

I pushed the hair from his forehead and rolled my eyes. "Relax, Casanova, we bounced."

His brows furrowed, my fingers moved to remove the crease that had formed between them. "We what?" he asked in confusion. I sighed and jiggled about on the bed, my body twisting; we bounced.

He laughed... loudly. "You looked like a fish out of water."

His laugh made me drop my hands from his skin to redo the buttons on my shirt. "_Hey_," he said still laughing, capturing my hands in his to rest at either side of my head.

"You're so moody sometimes. What am I going to do with you?" he sighed, moving on top of me completely.

"You can start by getting off me," I responded, closing my legs.

He raised his brows at my action, eyes darting around my face. I hated it when he scrutinized me like this; my fidgeting only further confirmed this.

"You're saying _no_?" he asked, that crease back between his brows. I nodded.

"Yeah, I guess I am," I replied calmly, even though the thoughts inside my head were anything but.

"I'm coming over later," he told me abruptly, his features portraying annoyance. Seriously?

"No, actually, you're not," I told him with a disgruntled face.

"You're seriously acting like this because I laughed at you? Jesus Christ..." _No. Yes. Maybe. _

I was acting like a child.

"I have plans after school," I said while meeting his hard gaze. "I don't know how long I'll be gone."

"What plans?" he inquired quickly, not releasing me from his stare.

"Plans that don't involve you!" I snapped irritably. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes, cutting myself off from the inquisitive green.

"Oh, I see, you have a date. Far be it for me to keep you away from _Jacob._ My apologies," he said sarcastically while shifting to lie on his back beside me.

"It's not a date," I answered back while staring up at the ceiling. "My dad invited him. We're picking up Christmas trees."

"How cute," he mumbled with about as much sincerity as a sandwich.

"It's not like that. Billy's going to be there too," I said while glancing at him swiftly.

"Oh, great, the whole family then," he replied tersely. "I hope you have _heaps_ of fun."

"Thanks. I will," I told him as I moved myself to the edge of the mattress.

This had been a bad idea. I should have listened to the warnings inside my head instead of the yearning of my heart.

I grabbed my bag from the floor and left his room without another word from either of us. The chill of the air matched the icy numbness hovering inside my chest.

OoOoO

"Oh my God, Charlie's _dating?_" Alice shrieked at lunch, her mouth swiftly chewing the food in her mouth as she stared back at me in excitement? _What the hell?_

"I'm pretty sure, yeah," I sighed. "Why do you look so pleased?" I asked her as I took a mouthful of chocolate milk. Jazz snorted and shook his head as he put his arm around the back of Alice's chair.

"Because, he's been by himself for years, and now he has a girlfriend. So _cute_," she said with a little spring in her seat. "So, come on, who is it?"

This was the part I didn't really like. Sure, if Charlie really was dating, good for him. It was the 'who' I had the problem with.

"I think it's Sue Clearwater," I murmured, glancing around at all the faces at the table. Edward didn't look up from his plate, but he had a brow raised while he broke apart his flapjack.

We still hadn't spoken since this morning, both of us far too stubborn to break the silence.

"Her son, Seth, is even coming with us tonight to pick out Christmas trees," I added as I finished my milk.

"And that's a _bad_ thing?" Rose asked as she slapped Em's hand away from her thigh.

"Yes... no. I've never met him. I don't know, it just feels weird," I admitted.

"Why?" Edward smirked. "It sounds to me like you're going to be one big happy family."

I snapped my mouth shut and shot him a glare across the table. I wanted to wipe that stupid, beautiful smile from his face.

"Edward's right," Alice said. _What?_ "It doesn't sound so bad." She shrugged her shoulders and bit into an apple. "I mean," she continued, swallowing her bite, "you like Sue, right?"

I let out a sigh and nodded in affirmation. I couldn't lie and say I didn't. My main concern was Leah. She seemed to have very strong opinions. What would _she_ think? If she didn't already know, that was. If Charlie and Sue got serious, she would become a bigger part of my life. I didn't know how I felt about that. I was so used to it being just me and Charlie, or me, Mom and Phil. They were the way things were. For my own selfish reasons, part of me didn't want that to change.

"Do you think I should ask him about it?" I asked. Em immediately nodded.

"Let me know when you're going to do it. I'll come over... for support of course," he grinned. I rolled my eyes and threw my paper napkin at him.

"Evil," I teased. He threw his head back and laughed.

"I can just imagine the awkwardness of it all now. Ah, good times," he winked.

The class bell sounded. _Great._ Time for biology and a class seated next to the victim of my daggered stares.

"Ugh, I have Spanish now," Alice whined. "I don't think I'll ever understand what Mrs. Goff goes on about. I really wish she held up flash cards when she spoke."

I laughed and nudged her shoulder with mine before we all separated to go to our respective classes.

I quickly made my way to my locker to grab my things, dodging Tyler who nearly collided with me on the stairs. I apologized and hastily wrapped my arms around my chest when his eyes focused on my chest for just a beat too long than was polite. Not that he probably cared about that.

I had just opened my locker when someone appeared a few steps away from me.

I looked over and my actions instantly slowed. Tanya was taking things out of her own locker. I didn't even know hers was on this floor. She was humming as she pulled a couple of books from inside. I turned away and focused my attention back on gathering my own things, but my movements were still careful. I felt tense and hated that she made me feel like that.

Her perfume was sickeningly sweet and I was sure the smell would be impossible to get rid of. Edward liked this? Liked her? She was really very pretty, I couldn't deny that. He said he hadn't slept with her, but they'd done other things. Had he kissed her? Did he like kissing _her_ as much as I liked kissing _him_? They still spoke a lot to each other, and even though he'd admitted to me in the girls' changing room that he didn't want to fool around with anyone else right now, did he really mean it? It could have been a lie, just something to say to make me not be angry with him.

I could feel that irrational jealousy that I hated start to bubble to the surface, my locker door closing with more force than I'd planned.

She startled and from the corner of my eye I saw her turn her head towards me. I didn't look back at her and pretended that her presence hadn't affected me. Just as I got to the stairs leading down to the biology floor, I dropped my books. I groaned and bent down to retrieve them, the backs of my legs aching as I did so.

Rose and Alice had found a yoga instruction DVD over the weekend that belonged to Rose's mom. They found it while rummaging in the Hale's hall closet when they were searching for Jasper's scarf that Alice had made for him last Christmas. They'd convinced me to try it with them, Rose insisting it would help me with my balance. And good God, I was never going to do it again. I'd ended up stretching muscles I didn't even know I possessed. I was sure that over time it would be beneficial, but unnecessary exercise and pain wasn't my thing. We simply didn't play well together. If I was back in preschool, and they were children wanting to share my toys, I would refuse and banish them to the sand box with the bugs and leaves.

The only good part about that afternoon had been when Edward had fondled my boobs in my tank top on my way out of the house. He'd pushed me up against the side of the house, stuck his tongue in my mouth, and groped me.

Shoes came into my periphery and I didn't need to look up at the face of the owner to know who they belonged to. We ended up walking beside each other down the steps, albeit I was standing as far away from her as was possible. This continued down the hallway, and as we neared my class, I spotted Edward walking towards us from the opposite direction to which we'd just come from.

His hands were in his pockets as he walked, and as we got nearer I could smell the smoke on his clothes, his prior destination becoming apparent.

He looked up and briefly met my gaze before his eyes drifted to Tanya at my side. I thought he looked shocked for a moment, but if he had, the expression hadn't lasted long enough for me to have been sure.

He ducked into the classroom, and as I went to follow him, I accidentally cut across Tanya and ended up bumping shoulders with her.

"Sorry," I said instinctively as I pulled my bag that had started to slip from my shoulder back up my arm.

"It's fine," she said with a smile that didn't meet her eyes. "No harm done."

I wanted to tell her that she and her friends had done plenty of harm to me since I'd moved here, but it wasn't important enough to mention, especially out loud. I wouldn't give them the satisfaction. I was a lot stronger than they thought, and anything they'd done to me had simply rolled away like raindrops on glass. Tanya's attachment to Edward was the only thing that bothered me. I didn't even have the title and yet, I was thinking like a jealous girlfriend. Deep down I wanted to have his promises and... more.

I glanced through the doorway to see Edward watching us closely with his head bent towards the desk. His eyes were focused on me, and were so intense I was sure I wouldn't be able to convince my feet to move.

"You live next door to Edward, right?" Tanya asked, her voice cutting my ties with the green eyed boy sitting next to the empty seat I was about to occupy.

"Um, yeah," I answered her, shifting the books in my arms.

"I'm thinking of asking him to the Winter Formal, what with it being girls choice," she stated with a sigh as if that was such a hardship. This was the first time she had spoken to me, and I was definitely erring on the side of caution. I didn't trust this girl, and I didn't know why she was talking to me about this. The fact that her eyes never left my face didn't help matters either.

Alice was on the decoration committee for the formal and had been busy a lot with meetings for the event after school. At first I'd been adamant I wasn't going. I didn't _do_ dances. Sure it was nice to get dressed up sometimes, but I found the whole prospect of having a date come to the door and whisper that you looked pretty so your dad didn't think he wasn't trying to get lucky, completely mortifying. It was like a run up to Prom or something. Even that word alone made me want to hide in my room forever. It was a rite of passage I knew I'd end up getting dragged to, especially considering who my best friends were, and the fact my mom would want pictures to proudly display on her mantle sealed it. It would be a hopeless cause to try and fight it.

"Oh, right, yeah, formal," I voiced, wanting nothing more than to get into class. Thankfully the bell rang, saving me from this... _thing_, with her.

"Have a nice weekend," she said, smiling that smile again before she left for her own class.

Mr. Banner tapped his watch as I walked to my seat. It wasn't as if I were late. Plus, I was standing right at the door. He was obviously in one of his grouchy moods today.

I wordlessly took my seat next to Edward and ignored the fact he was looking at me. Mr. Banner started the lesson, pointing to things on the overhead projector as he spoke. I could see Edward's knee bouncing under the desk, his pen keeping the same rhythm as it hit his notepad again and again.

We were thirty minutes into the lesson when Edward evidently couldn't keep his curiosity locked in.

"What was that all about?" he whispered, motioning to the door and the Tanya exchange.

"I accidentally bumped into her while trying to get into class," I whispered back shrugging. I licked my lips and turned my head slightly to look at him.

"She then proceeded to tell me she was thinking of asking you to the Winter Formal."

His brows raised before he shook his head smiling. What did that mean? Was he happy that she was going to ask him? My nails dug into the soft wood of my pencil.

"And who are you thinking of asking, Bella?" he probed, eyes on the board as he tried to replicate the drawing currently being shown.

I wasn't sure of this answer myself, yet. My first choice had been Jake, as I knew I'd have fun with him and he'd take the whole date aspect away from it. Then I remembered I was actually _dating_ him, which ultimately left me in limbo. If things had been different, I knew who I'd _want_ to ask. But the hurt and questions and stares that would result from that were unthinkable. Not to mention, I was sure he'd say no.

My third option was a married man and doctor in this town. If I thought the questions and stares would have been bad if I turned up with Edward, his father would have been another matter entirely. The gossip-mongers would have had a field-day with that one. Not that I'd ever dream of admitting my crush to anyone, let alone ever let loose the words, 'will you go to my Winter Formal with me?' Or, 'your ass looks fantastic in those scrubs'.

I didn't answer him, instead following his example to sketch away. Of course, he wasn't having any of that.

"That many choices, huh?" he snorted, shaking his head with an unusual expression fixed onto his face.

I stopped drawing and wrapped the ends of my hair around my wrist as I answered him.

"I wasn't planning on going at first, but your sister convinced me. So now I'll just probably ask Jake." _If we're still together by then that was. _

I would have to try and talk to him again tonight.

"Is he even allowed to come here? He doesn't go to this school," Edward said curtly as he drew his attention away from the board, to my face.

We gazed back at one another, expressions stoic. "Yeah, it's fine," I answered, my eyes dropping to the desk.

We both turned our attention back to the front of the class and carried on where we'd left off.

OoOoO

Billy and Jake were already in the living room when I returned home from school. Charlie was in his uniform ready to head off to work afterward, and as I looked to the other side of the room, I spotted who must have been Seth Clearwater. He had the same dark hair and eyes as his sister, but a much friendlier face. He smiled big and instantly got to his feet to join me where I was standing.

"You must be _Jake's_, Bella," he said, the easy grin still there. I winced internally at his choice of phrasing, and smiled back.

"Dude, knock it off," Jake said as he slipped an arm across my shoulders to press a kiss to my temple. _The temple was new._

"What? All we hear is 'Bella this' and 'Bella that'. He's kind of obsessed," he mock whispered to me. Jake caught him in a playful headlock while all I could do was stand there and hope my eyes weren't bright with fear. _I have to do this. I can't carry on lying to him. He's going to be crushed. I'm going to fumble, I know it. I'm going to hurt us both._

"We ready to go?" Billy announced as he clapped his hands together to gain our attention.

"Yep," Jake said as he released Seth from under his arm.

Charlie looked between me and Seth for a second before he cleared his throat and motioned for us to file to the door.

I ended up waiting with Seth beside the cruiser as Jake and Charlie helped Billy into the Volkswagen.

"Your sister didn't want to come?" I asked, glancing at the house behind us.

"Nah, she's yet to get into the holiday cheer," he said with a roll of his eyes. "Well, more like she _pretends_ she hasn't anyway. She'll sit in front of that tree once it's decorated and stare at the lights for hours when she thinks we're all in bed. She's done it for the past few years.

"She thinks no one notices, but..." he left off there with a shrug of his shoulders. We were silent for a beat before he spoke again.

"I think she misses Dad more at this time of year, but she doesn't say anything."

I smiled sadly in acknowledgement. I didn't know what I'd do if anything happened to Charlie. That thought alone made me realize just how selfish I'd been acting when it came to my dad. If he liked Sue, then I'd just have to deal. He deserved to be happy.

"It must be hard for you all," I said with a sympathetic squeeze to his hand. I was surprised at how easy it was to talk to him. He was years younger than I was, and while he looked like that young boy on the outside, you could tell he was an old soul inside. I guess we had that in common.

"It is, but Mom's been happier lately, and Charlie helps out."

I was torn about asking him what I'd been wondering all day, but the way he mentioned Charlie, it was obvious he was over there a lot more than I'd known about. I mean, I knew he went over to help Sue out occasionally, but it was evident it was more than that now. I felt a little hurt that Charlie had been keeping it from me, but it was his life. I didn't tell him all aspects of mine, so I had no right to criticize him for doing the exact same thing. I guess I was my father's daughter after all.

Now that he worked night shifts, he had the whole day to spend at will. At least now he had some company other than the TV set.

I decided to bite the bullet.

"Do you think they're... you know, an item?" I inquired with a swift look to my father. Seth laughed.

"I think so, yeah," he answered.

"And you don't mind?"

"No, your dad's cool." Now it was my turn to laugh.

"I've heard Charlie described as many things, but 'cool' has never been one of them."

We both shared a look and started laughing again just as the man himself walked over to us.

"What has you kids laughing like a bunch of hyenas in a zoo?" he said, his mustache twitching.

I opened the door to the front of the cruiser while Seth got into the back.

"Nothing," I told him as I buckled myself in.

"Uh huh," he hummed as started the vehicle. "And why don't I believe that?"

OoOoO

"This one looks good," I said while touching the spiky green needles of the tree.

We'd been searching for the past hour, Jake and Billy chose their tree within the first 10 minutes. It was entirely obvious to anyone who took the time to look, that their home was a woman-free zone.

Billy started chatting up the tree lot owner, flirting with her as we continued to look.

"I can't take him anywhere," Jacob laughed as he took my hand in his.

Each tree we'd come to, Jake had looked at it with a serious expression on his face, just to then crack a joke about its shape. He'd say they resembled more of a 'bird' or a 'star' than an actual tree.

Knowing how much I wanted the perfect tree, he'd grin and wink as I mock scowled back at him. This was how things should be, fun and free without any of that other crap getting in the way of it. I realized just how much I'd missed my friend, Jake. He was a lot different than

maybe-boyfriend, Jake.

"I think it's perfect," I said, bringing the focus back onto the tree. He went to open his mouth to give his opinion, so I quickly placed my gloved hand over his lips.

"Not one word about dogs or boats or stars. Whatever it is you're about to compare it to, can it!" I warned with a pout to my lips. He rolled his eyes and jerked his head.

I smiled in success as he pushed my hand away and placed a peck on my nose. "I was about to say that _you_ were perfect, before you so rudely attacked me." I swallowed hard and squeezed his fingers tightly. What had I gotten myself into?

He ruffled my hair and pulled me into an unexpected hug, the material of his coat soft against my cheek. This was a friend's hug – I hadn't grasped just how much I'd missed them.

"I've missed you," I mumbled into his coat, earning a chuckle from him.

"I've been right here, silly girl," he said onto the top of my head, his breath tickling the skin there.

He couldn't have known what I'd meant, but I held him tightly and prayed that he never found out that I gave another what I couldn't give him.

I pulled away as Seth and Charlie came over, hauling a tree that would have pride of place in Sue Clearwater's home.

"You found the one you want, Bells?" Dad asked as he took a look at the tree we were standing beside. I nodded eagerly and smiled wide.

"Load this up onto the cruiser, Charlie. We have ourselves a winner!" Jake announced over-dramatically. I playfully punched his arm and winked at Seth, who winked right back - repeatedly in fact - until I shoved him away laughing.

I wanted to talk with Jake, but he had a shift at the garage in twenty minutes. And deep down I knew this wasn't the right time or place. Instead I asked him what his plans were in two weeks.

"Why?" he questioned curiously.

"Well, I was wondering if you wanted to go to my Winter Formal with me? We can terrorize Alice and make fun of the girls wearing too much make-up," I smiled.

That was something we used to do together when his sisters would bring their friends to his house. They always wore so much black eye-liner – we would tease them by informing them that Halloween had been over for months.

"Do I have to wear a suit?" he asked, his face scrunching up in distaste.

"Um, as long as you have a shirt and tie somewhere on your body, you'll be good."

"I suppose I can dig something out then," he sighed.

"Thanks," I chuckled. "Oh, and I'll be picking you up."

"I'm sorry, but no," he told me, crossing his arms across his chest. I copied his action and raised a brow.

"Listen buddy, this is a _girls' _choice dance. And it's my _choice_ to pick you up. Make sure you're ready for seven," I told him with a decisive nod.

"You're one stubborn girl, Isabella Swan," he said as he rubbed at his jaw.

"She gets that from her mother," Charlie mumbled as he passed and caught the last bit of our conversation.

I rolled my eyes and told Jake I'd see him Sunday. He had to work most of the day tomorrow, and Alice wanted my help with colour ideas... not that she'd end up listening to any of them. She'd probably use them as a form of elimination.

By the time we got home, it had just started to get dark, the evenings seeming to draw closer at this time of year. Charlie and Seth carried the tree into the house, hissing when some of the needles pricked at their skin. I instructed them to set it up in front of the window in the living room so the glass would reflect the lights when switched on.

I waved to Seth as he waited outside for Charlie to help him take his tree across the street. Charlie would be leaving for work straight afterward, so I told him to drive safe and make sure he ate something more than those cheese flavoured crackers he liked so much.

I turned on the radio, which was churning out one Christmas song after another, and dragged the decorations in from the garage to make the house feel as festive as Christmas should be.

I'd always loved Christmas with its festive colourings and twinkle lights. There was no better feeling than being curled up on the sofa covered by your favourite blanket while you watched the same movies that seemed to always play at this time of year. The only sources of light were those from the television screen and soft lighting of the tree, making everything appear cozy and warm.

It was at times like that I found myself truly content.

I hung the last bauble on the tree and switched off the main lighting, wanting to get the full effect when I turned on the fairy lights currently wrapped around the evergreen.

As I bent down to flip the switch I noticed a flurry of movement beyond the window. I pressed my face closer to the glass and smiled at the sight of delicate flakes of ice falling from the midnight sky.

_It was snowing._

I watched the white and black colours of the night mingle, before adding the misty blue of small bulbs.

My phone buzzed from its place on the mantle, ultimately dragging me away from the scene outside. I was sure it was Alice, just as excited as I was about the weather. I picked up the phone with a soft smile on my face and looked at the lit up screen.

It wasn't Alice.

_I'm sorry I laughed at you. - E._

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, regretting that I hadn't apologized first. My own guilt and insecurities had been making themselves known as childish behaviour.

_I'm sorry I was being over sensitive. - B._

_It's snowing... - E._

_I know. - B._

I hesitated briefly before quickly sending another message.

_Come over. I'll bake cookies. - B._

_What did I tell you about feeding things? I'm tutting at you. - E._

I couldn't stop the smile that threatened to hurt my cheeks.

_And I was already on my way. - E._

He made my heart ache in both good and bad ways. He made me smile and cry. He made me want things I had never wanted before.

I curled up on the sofa and pulled the throw that always rested on its back across my legs, instantly warming my toes. My head rested lazily against the cushions as I waited for Edward to arrive.

This wasn't part of my tradition, and while I wasn't watching 'It's a Wonderful Life' or 'Miracle on 34th Street', scenes that weren't recorded for all to see, would still play out in this very room.

He was my leading man of choice... I just hoped he would one day _want_ to be that same person for me.

I sent a wish along with the tumbling snow, hoping that when the flakes fell on the skin of the boy I waited for, they would pass on their wintry message.

_Be mine._

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**Reviews will get a teaser for the next chapter.**

**My rec this week is: 'We Come to Life Beneath the Stars' by Lillybellis. This fic is so good; I can't say enough good things about it. If you're not already reading, please give it a try.**

**As always, thank you so much for reading. VHL xx**


	26. Chapter 26

**Hey everyone! Firstly, I'd like to apologise for this chapter taking so long. I haven't been in the best of health, so I took a little break from the internet and from writing. I won't have much time to write much this week either as I'll be in hospital for a few days, but the good news is that I've already started on the next chapter, so it shouldn't be as long a wait until it's up.**

**Thank you to everyone who continues to read, favourite, alert and review. I hope you all received your teasers (anonymous reviewers excluded for obvious reasons).**

**Thanks to my wonderful beta SusanQ. She is amazing and kind and I love that she still continues to help me with my mistakes.**

**Thank you to jedigirlsc for prereading. She is a star and still managed to read this even though her day yesterday was so busy.**

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns Twilight and all its characters. I just like to play with them.**

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Edward

I kept my head down against the steady fall of snow, the delicate droplets of ice no doubt now gathered in my hair. I'd rushed out of the house without a coat or jacket. I hadn't seen a need for one; I wouldn't be outside for long.

I'd been frustrated all day after my argument with Bella this morning. Normally things like that wouldn't have bothered me at all, but as the day passed, I still couldn't seem to shift it from my mind. I'd been joking with her on my bed, everything had been fine, but then she'd become insecure or something... _girls._

I hadn't meant anything about it. I mean, it was pretty obvious I liked her _that way_, so she had absolutely nothing to worry about there. I couldn't seem to stop thinking about putting my hands on her. Watching her in school today, knowing she was angry with me, had driven me crazy. She was pissed, and when she got into that state of mind, it was difficult to snap her out of it. That's why I'd been surprised when she apologized and invited me over after my text. Of course, I'd already left the house by then, thinking I'd have to persuade her in person to stop ignoring me. I could have turned around and gone back inside, but I'd realized I actually _did_ kind of want to see her, so I carried on through the cold weather with the promise of cookies and possibly _more._

I jogged up her porch steps and quickly grabbed onto the railing as my feet gave way beneath me. I noticed the porch light must have burned out – that light was always on. It was almost as if the chief had unconsciously tried to take me out. Slippery steps, no light. The man was truly a cop without even trying.

I knocked on the door, my knuckles aching slightly due to my partly frozen fingers. _Fuck me, it was bitterly cold out here._

I heard movement from inside, the door soon opening afterwards. Bella was still dressed in her school uniform, her hair slightly messy and shirt creased at the bottom. I met her gaze and gave her a small smile as she motioned for me to come in.

We both stood there in awkward silence, me with my hands in my jeans pockets, Bella with her arms crossed at her chest. I sighed and glanced to the side, noticing the new addition to the living room.

"I see you found a tree," I said, stating the obvious. She nodded and entered the room.

"Yeah, I've just finished decorating it," she told me with a brief look back over her shoulder. "I had a little trouble with the lights at first - I wasn't tall enough to wrap them all the way up."

I took a deep breath. "Did someone... was someone here to help you?" I asked as I stepped forward. She glanced at me again, but this time she didn't speak. She simply shook her head.

"No, I got a chair from the kitchen," she said as she started adjusting some tinsel on the tree. "Charlie and Jake had to work... so," she shrugged.

I ran a hand down my face as I bent my head towards the floor. I found myself feeling glad she'd been by herself, and that _he_ hadn't been with her.

I didn't think I'd ever get over my dislike for Jacob. Sure, he didn't know the truth when he'd accused me of doing what I _hadn't_, but it made no difference to me now, even if he'd only been acting as he'd thought a friend should. The subject was still a sensitive spot for me. I could hold a grudge as well as the next person, and well, I didn't think I'd be letting go of that one any time soon.

"I'm sorry about this morning." I looked up to see Bella hesitantly walking towards me, her eyes sincere.

"It's fine," I voiced with a shrug as she stopped in front of me. She licked her lips and shook her head.

"No, it isn't. I was being childish," she said, her hands fumbling with the end of her tie. "I guess I just wanted a reason to be mad at you or something. I don't know."

Her honesty shocked me a little; this wasn't what we did. We'd forget about it and either cover it up with roaming hands or even more hurtful comments. But I could understand wanting to find a reason, whatever it may be, to push someone away.

"Yeah, you overreacted," I told her truthfully. "But girls tend to do that a lot, so I guess I can forgive you," I teased, smirking at her to let her know I was only joking.

I didn't want a replay of this morning. Not today and definitely not right now.

She mock frowned and went to turn away when her eyes focused back on me - she started giggling. I was just about to ask her why she was laughing when she spoke.

"You, um, have some snow in your hair," she said as she pointed to my head. She took that final step forward, closing the remaining gap between us, and raised herself up on the pads of her feet.

Her fingers ran through my hair, shaking the strands as she went. Her face was so close, her lips slightly parted in concentration. Her hands paused after a little while, her eyes dropping to meet mine. I lightly grasped her hips to steady her as she wobbled on her feet.

I got lost in her heated gaze as she slid her hands down my face, her palms cold and slightly wet from the now melted ice. The sensation caused my jaw to clench.

Then her lips were abruptly on mine and I didn't care.

She gently nudged my lips open with her tongue, slowly brushing it against my own. Our movements were unhurried and soft, different from the hint of desperation that always seemed to lie beneath the surface when our mouths joined like this.

I sucked her bottom lip into my mouth, teasing it with my tongue. She closed her eyes and gave a quiet moan, soon moving her hands from my face back to my hair. She grasped it between her hands as she tried to push herself closer to me. I loved when she did that.

I pulled her body to me, feeling the warmth of her skin through her shirt as I kissed my way down her throat. This movement seemed weirdly intimate...

"Didn't you say something about baking me cookies?" I whispered against her skin – I had to break the moment.

She pulled her head back and looked at me as if I'd gone crazy.

"You want me to bake cookies _now?_" she questioned a little breathlessly. I gave her a half smile and righted the hairband on her head.

"Why do you think I came all the way over here in this weather?" I asked as I slid my hands from her hips. I was joking, but she didn't know that. Yet.

"You said you were already on your way over," she accused, her eyes narrowing minutely.

"Did I? I can't remember," I lied, adding a shrug.

"Fine," she said with a false smile - o_h yeah, she was pissed again -_ "but you're helping." She turned on her heel and made her way into the kitchen, leaving me staring after her.

I followed after her with a frown on my face and watched as she turned the oven on to heat up. She was humming to herself and completely ignoring me, opening cupboards and pulling out all the ingredients and other things that were needed. Then she did something that caused my mouth to drop open. _Oh fuck no._

"I am not wearing that," I told her seriously as she held out an apron – one that just happened to be covered with hearts in varying shades and sizes. "No fucking way."

This was her way of getting back at me for putting a stop to things not five minutes before.

She picked another apron from a hook attached to the back of the door and pulled it over her head.

"Why can't I wear that one?" I asked with raised brows, my tone laced with indignation. Hers had 'Kiss the Cook' written on the front. I wasn't sure if that was some sort of message, but it seemed to be the only other one in the room. Either way it was so much better than the one she was trying to get me to wear. I could at least handle the one she was currently wearing.

She sighed and wrapped the tie around her middle twice before securing it into a bow.

"Who's going to be making these cookies?" she asked as she attempted to slip the heart crazy one over my head.

This was just one instance where my height advantage came in handy.

"You, obviously," I replied as I lightly captured her wrists in my hands.

"Exactly," she said while looking at me from beneath her lashes. _That sweet act is not going to work this time. _"It only makes sense that the person actually _cooking_ them should get to wear this apron."

"God you can tell you're an only child," I murmured to myself lowly. Obviously it wasn't quiet enough.

She cocked an eyebrow and laughed. "I'm the selfish one... right."

Did I really want to get into an argument with her right now... because if either one of us carried on with this attitude, a row would become inevitable. The boat would set sail and head straight to the island of anger, hurt and fiery tempers.

I debated for a few more seconds before bending down a little so she could reach my neck.

"I can't believe I'm allowing you to dress me up in this shit," I mumbled, closing my eyes as I released a long breath.

I felt nothing at first and cracked an eye open to see her staring back at me silently. She appeared a little confused before she let out her own deep breath and slipped the apron over my head, her fingers lingering briefly on the ends of my hair at the nape of my neck.

She walked behind me and tied the strings at the back, stopping in front of me when she was done.

"It suits you," she voiced, amusement evident in her teasing opinion.

I groaned and bent my head back as I rubbed my hands down my face. "I'm _sure _it does."

She twisted her hair up and secured it with some clip thing before rolling the sleeves of her shirt to her elbows. "It's only an apron Edward. Get over it and come help. Please."

We spent the next twenty minutes measuring sugar and butter and what not. She made me crack the eggs, which was a lot harder than it looked when Esme did it. I got shell in the mixture and ended up with more of the clear part of the raw egg on my hands and counter, than in the actual bowl.

She smiled, her upturned lips turning into a laugh as she picked out the bits of shell with a spoon, shaking her head in amusement the whole time. I wrinkled my nose at the egg on my hands and washed them with some fruity shit by the sink, using more of it than necessary. Whatever. It smelled good.

I opened the chocolate chips – upon her instruction – and deposited them into a separate bowl... and also into my mouth when she wasn't looking. It was a good thing she had two packets.

I was asked to get the flour out of the cupboard as she couldn't quite reach it, which also ended in laughter – once more _at_ me.

I hadn't had the grip I thought I'd had on the packet, so when I pulled it out, the bag fell from my hands to the counter and turned the air around us a misty white. I coughed and backed up, waving my hands in front of my face as I tried to bat the flour away from me. Needless to say it did nothing.

"Oh my God," Bella laughed, gripping the edge of the counter for support, "your face..."

She cracked up again, this time holding her sides as she bent over somewhat.

"It's not funny," I snapped, taking another step back from the still hovering cloud. "I'm not good with this domesticated bullshit!"

I coughed again. _Jesus Christ._

She wiped her eyes on the bottom of her apron as she caught her breath. I stayed out of the way as she measured the flour out and added it to the chocolate chips, before then adding them both to the other mixture.

"It's okay Edward," she said sweetly, her tone light. "No one can be good at everything."

I had the sudden urge to give in to my ten year old self and throw flour in her hair.

Instead, I ignored her attempt at goading me and shoved my hands into my pockets as I leaned against the counter.

Bella placed spoonfuls of the cookie mixture on a tray, and I shamelessly stared at her ass when she bent over to put said tray into the oven.

She immediately started washing up the used utensils and equipment, her back to me as she completely ignored my stony expression.

I hated that she was getting so much glee from the fact I was useless in the kitchen. I wasn't ashamed to admit I was a bad loser... and even though this wasn't a competition, I still felt as though I'd lost something.

I hated people seeing a weakness in me, even if it was something as stupid as baking. _I bet Jacob Black helps Bella all the time without screwing up. I bet he doesn't drop shell in the mixture when cracking an egg. I bet he doesn't fuck up something as simple as pulling a bag of flour out of the cupboard._

I was being irrational and I couldn't get a hold on my feelings. _Fuck..._ I needed to have a cigarette.

I turned around and flattened my hands on the counter top, completely forgetting about the mass of spilled flour. I groaned internally and fisted my hands.

_After tonight, I'm not eating another fucking cookie - ever again._

I stared at my flour covered hands and smiled to myself when another childish thought popped into my head. This time I didn't discount it.

I stepped behind her and pressed my palm to her left ass-cheek, leaving a nice flour imprint.

She startled and looked over her shoulder, trying to see what I'd done. After a quick glance at my hands, it wasn't hard to guess.

"What are you...? Did you just leave a hand-print on my butt?" she questioned, her tone full of disbelief as she turned around, presumably to dry her hands.

I went to open my mouth to say I couldn't help it, when she swiveled around and pressed her palm to my face, over my right eye.

Whatever it was that was currently stuck to my skin definitely wasn't flour alone.

"What the -"

"Don't touch it," she said, batting my hands away, her eyes filled with silent laughter. She squinted one eye as she gazed back at me.

"You know, now you kind of look like that Orc thingy from 'The Lord of the Rings'."

"They're called Uruk-hai," I told her, wanting nothing more than to go wash my face. This crap was starting to set and pinch at my skin.

"What the hell is this stuff?" I moaned.

"Just flour and water," she smiled, shrugging. "My hands were still wet from washing up, and there was all that flour left on the counter... I couldn't stop myself."

She bit her lips as she tried not to laugh again.

"Evidently," I grumbled, pausing almost immediately. "Wait, did you just compare me to a creature from 'The Lord of the Rings'?"

"Well... yeah," she grinned, pausing for a few seconds, "but don't worry, you're slightly better looking."

I snorted. "Please, I'm much better looking."

She scoffed and made a disgruntled face at the mess on her hands. "Your head won't be able to fit back out the door when these cookies are done," she warned with a twinkle in her eye. "In fact..."

"What?" I asked, feeling just a little bit uncomfortable with her looking at me like that.

"I think your nose is growing too," she gasped, complete with over-exaggerated wide eyes. "You know, if you're not careful, people will start calling you Pinocchio."

I grabbed a towel from the counter and dusted the remaining flour off my hands.

"You're really not funny," I informed her, reaching behind me to try and remove the embarrassing apron.

"I'm a little funny," she responded lightly, quickly washing her hands.

"Yes, but what you've yet to realize – or comprehend – is that most people laugh _at_ you, not with you."

She slowly walked over to me, pushed her front to my chest and wrapped her arms around my waist, her fingers now tangling with mine behind my back. I clenched my jaw and looked down at her head.

I swore this girl was going to cause me to lose my mind. She'd been distant all week, and had snapped at me this morning. Now here she was giving comfort... or taking it.

I wasn't a _hugger_, so the fact that I wanted to wrap my arms around her and not let go messed with my head. Couple that with the fact I wanted to slide her shirt down her arms and kiss every bit of exposed skin I could reach, I was sure I was about to completely lose my shit.

"I don't get you, Bella," I admitted, frowning at the top of her head. "Sometimes... sometimes you're just so fucking infuriating, and well... _ridiculous_."

"Says the boy with flour stuck to his face," she responded instantly, lifting her head as her eyes drifted across my features.

"Which _you_ put there," I pointed out, glancing at her mouth. She completely ignored that statement.

"I can set a chair up in the corner for you, if you'd like? Complete with a jar of paste. You'll feel right at home."

_Speaking of home_. "By the way, your light needs replacing outside."

She furrowed her brows. "Huh?"

"I think your porch light has gone out. I slipped on the steps earlier – you can't see a thing out there. You need to get Charlie to replace it when he gets home... or if you know where the spare bulbs are, I can do it," I offered.

"Oh," she said, giving me this weird expression.

I sighed. "What's with you today? You've being really fucking weird... more so than usual."

She pressed her forehead against my chest again, mumbling something I couldn't make out.

"How long have you been friends with James?" she asked out of the blue. I froze. Why would she want to know that?

I hesitated before answering her. "Not that long. Why?"

She broke away from my chest and eyed me seriously. "I overheard him and Laurent talking today at school. They mentioned your name when talking about Victoria... he was calling her a whore -"

"And you think I've lied to you about not seeing anyone else while we're..." I finished the sentence there.

She cleared her throat and pulled at the end of her shirt. "Maybe. But, it's not as if you couldn't. I mean, it's not like I could stop you or anything. We're not like that."

I swallowed thickly and turned to gaze out the kitchen window. There were so many things I could say to her, but I couldn't seem to push the words out.

"Yeah," I replied simply, rubbing the back of my neck. She flicked her eyes to my face as I continued.

"And in answer to your _non_ question... no. I haven't been with her... or anyone else for that matter. I told you I wasn't going to do that."

She shifted on her feet. "Yeah, not until we stop this," she voiced, eyes locking with mine.

I squeezed my hands into fists.

"Yeah, not until we stop this," I said, repeating her words.

"I was a little surprised to hear James saying that about Victoria. I'm in no way her biggest fan, but she doesn't seem to sleep around like the others. Plus, I've seen the way she looks at him... when _you're_ not around, of course," she said, letting out a humourless laugh.

I didn't ask who she was talking about when she referred to the 'others'. I didn't have to. And the other part... I didn't think anything I said would make her believe me on that front.

"Calling a girl a whore like that..." she sighed, carrying on with a shake of her head. "I don't know, I guess it really made me think about things."

"What things?" I asked swiftly. _She's going to end this thing between us._

She just stood there, her cheeks flushed a light pink as her mouth opened and closed. This heavy tension started to build around us – it was suffocating. I had to break it.

"I suppose it's not the worst thing in the world to be called – a whore I mean," I said, clearing my throat awkwardly. "Just look how well things turned out for Julia Roberts."

"That was a movie, Edward," she said, her lips morphing into a smile, the tension in the room dissolving just a little with it.

"Semantics," I smirked, poking at the crap still stuck to my face. "Plus, the piano scene in that movie was hot."

Her cheeks bloomed a deep pink as she focused on the magnets stuck to the fridge.

"Are you blushing?" I smirked, loving how her cheeks flamed just that tad bit more with my words.

"No," she replied quickly, removing her apron. I followed suit.

"Has someone got a fantasy?" I teased, giving her a wink. "You know, I could take you back to my house right now... sit you on my piano and let your fingers hit out random notes as I..."

I stopped right there.

A silence filled the room after the words had left my mouth. I didn't know why I'd even said anything - we'd had this discussion already. I wanted nothing more than to take her upstairs right now and feel her around me, but her experience – or lack of – was stopping me.

The fact that she hadn't been with anyone else obviously panicked me, but then the thought of her giving herself to Jacob Black made me sick to my stomach.

"Then why aren't we?" she asked softly, her cheeks turning pink again with her question.

That instantly stopped the joking.

I didn't know why I was making such a big deal out of it. It was probably because this situation was different... _she_ was different. But then what we were ultimately doing here? She seemed to want to...

I guess I just couldn't understand why she'd choose me over anybody.

"I don't know," I replied eventually, feeling incredibly uncomfortable with this conversation.

We stood there staring at one another for maybe just a minute more, when the timer on the oven went off, signaling the cookies were ready.

Bella immediately went to the oven and carefully pulled the tray of cookies out before turning off the heat. She seemed to be avoiding looking at me... embarrassment or something else keeping her eyes from me.

I stood behind her, making sure not to touch her as I tried to sneak my hand around the side to grab a cookie. She pushed my hands away. I went to try again and this time she actually pushed me into one of the seats at the table.

"Jesus, you'll burn your tongue if you eat them right this second," she admonished. "Just let them cool for a few minutes first."

She went over to the fridge, pulled out a carton of milk and grabbed two glasses from the cupboard.

"Okay, I don't want to upset you," I said, tapping my palms on a place mat.

"Why would that upset me? You'd be the one burning your tongue," she said, her brows scrunching up in confusion.

"Well, because I wouldn't be available for kisses, obviously," I said, looking at her to gauge her reaction.

She turned to face me and raised a brow while taking a sip of milk.

"Hmm, you kisses are all right. I mean, I've had better," she shrugged, setting her glass back on the counter.

It looked like she was over her embarrassment.

And truthfully? I wasn't expecting that answer... I didn't like it. "Oh yeah? From who?"

She topped up her drink before returning the carton to the refrigerator. "From _none of your business_, that's who," she responded, her back to me.

I laughed.

"Hmm, never heard of him. Does he go to our school?" I retorted with a smile, halting my tapping.

"Such an idiot," she mumbled, bringing a drink over to me.

"Haven't heard of him, either," I said, hiding my smirk by taking a quick gulp.

She snatched the oven gloves back off the counter and hit me on the shoulder with them.

"Did you just hit me... with pink oven gloves?" I smiled, squinting my eyes playfully.

"Yeah, I guess I did." She crossed her arms over her chest, "and I didn't pick the colour, Renee did," she added as an afterthought.

"Hand them over," I stated, holding my hand out for them.

"No. Why?" she asked, putting them behind her back.

"Like I'm going to tell you that," I smirked, getting up out of the chair.

"Knowing you, it's probably something perverted," she said, backing away from me.

I shook my head and laughed. "You're the one who likes the kinky stuff. My dreams don't lie," I teased with a wink.

She soon realized she had no where left to run, and just as she made to dart to the opposite side of the table, I grabbed her around the waist and brought her back to my chest.

"Pass them here," I said, shaking my head in disbelief when she shoved them up her shirt.

"Not going to happen," she stated with a look over her shoulder.

I sighed, unconsciously taking her hands in mine. "Such a spoiled sport."

"I've never been one for sports," she retorted, linking our fingers.

"That's just because you haven't experienced the right kind of activity," I responded automatically, whispering the words into her neck.

We both stilled, our joined hands resting on her stomach.

And there was that silence again.

"It's getting late," I breathed, untangling our hands. "I should probably get home."

Bella turned in my arms, the oven gloves falling to the floor with her movement. She looked hesitant about something as she stood there gazing back at me.

"You could stay," she told me, twisting her tie at the bottom with awkward movements. "Charlie won't be home until the morning."

I'd stayed with Bella a couple of times now, but they'd always been spur of the moment ideas. No words had ever been verbalized... I'd just sort of fall asleep in her room and that was that. Now she was actually offering, which meant I had to give an answer instead of just ignoring the complicated aspect of the situation.

I scratched the side of my jaw. "Er, yeah, okay," I mused. "I mean, I have cookies to eat, right?"

She relaxed slightly, her shoulders falling with an exhale as she nodded. "I suspect you'll want to go wash your face?" she guessed with a smile, eyeing the mess still stuck to my skin. "Go on ahead and I'll bring the cookies and milk up in a minute."

I nodded numbly, the whole situation feeling a little... odd. "Yeah, thanks," I said, taking an eventual step backwards. I turned and made my way out the room, taking the stairs two at a time. In the hallway, I paused, not knowing if I should use the main bathroom or use the one adjoined to her room. I felt a little weird walking into her bedroom without her being in it, so I slipped into the main one, shut the door and flipped on the light switch.

My reflection in the mirror brought a grimace to my face as I immediately set about washing the flour off my face with hot, soapy water. My skin warmed with the heat, but it felt so good to finally be rid of the cement-like stuff. With my eyes still closed, I reached blindly for a towel, bringing it up to wipe my face dry.

I pushed the hair off my forehead, the ends now a little damp, and rested my hands on the edge of the sink as I looked back into the mirror. My expression displayed the confusion I was experiencing inside. I was surprised Bella had asked me to stay... I didn't think she'd offer something like that. She'd never kicked me out before, but then she'd never seemed particularly excited that I was staying either.

She seemed to be stuck in her own head today more than usual, and I didn't know if that was due to our fight this morning, or whether it was something more. I wanted to know what she was thinking right now.

She was the most complicated girl I'd ever met. I both hated and loved that she wasn't as transparent as the other girls at school.

With one last deep breath, I returned the towel to the hook on the wall, and opened the door.

Light was seeping from beneath Bella's door, indicating she was already inside. I knocked, but didn't wait for a reply before pushing the door open.

She was drawing her curtains as I stepped inside, her body covered in festive pyjamas. I smirked.

"Nice pyjamas," I told her with a smile as I closed her door. They were a soft blue with hundreds of snowmen printed across the fabric. She looked... cute.

"I like them," she said, jutting out her chin a little. I laughed and slid off my shoes, kicking them clumsily to the side.

I jumped on her bed and made myself comfy against the headboard, resting my hands at the back of my head. Bella just stood there with raised brows.

"What?" I asked as I grabbed a cookie from the plate, immediately bringing it to my mouth. _Finally._

"Make yourself at home," she mumbled with sarcasm, climbing onto the bed beside me. She sat in the opposite direction so she was facing me, and reached for own cookie, humming softly as she chewed.

"These are good," I said around a mouthful of deliciousness. "Who knew I could bake?"

She coughed, choking a little as she laughed. "Yeah, who knew?" she smiled, tucking a few strands of escaped hair behind her ear. She'd released it from the clip; it was now in a loose braid down her back.

I happily munched my way through half the plate in minutes, not paying attention to anything other than the goodies in front of me. I reached for my glass of milk, glancing at Bella as I took a rather large gulp.

She was just sort of sitting there with half a cookie in her hand, her mouth partly open... what was wrong with her now?

I raised a brow as I deposited my glass back on the bedside table, wiping my mouth with the back of my hand as I took another cookie from the plate.

"Do you chew?" she asked, watching on as I devoured what was left in my palm. I rolled my eyes, my mouth too busy to talk. "And I thought Emmett was bad," she added as she tapped my leg, pointing to her own drink.

I reached across and passed it to her, my fingers brushing against hers as she took the glass from me. She murmured a 'thanks' before taking a sip.

"I'm a growing boy and all that," I answered with a shrug, my belly now nice and full. She set her glass down on the other bedside table, crawling further towards me to dump the cookies next to her drink. Just when I thought she was about to sit back down she stared swiping at my chest and stomach.

"You've got crumbs everywhere," she accused, brows creased. "There's nothing worse than trying to sleep with crumbs in the bed."

I looked down at where her hand was currently moving across my torso, and sure enough there were crumbs scattered across my shirt.

I sighed and sat up a little, leaning across to the edge of the mattress as I shook my shirt over the side of the bed, the crumbs falling to the floor.

"Any more?" I asked, turning back around to face her. She bit her lip as her hand pointed to my face.

"Um, you have some around your mouth," she told me, eyes focused on my lips. I brought my hand to my face, blindly swiping at my skin.

"Gone?" I questioned, looking back at her. She shook her head and raised herself to her knees as she leaned forward.

Her fingers on the edge of my mouth caused my lips to part, her hand stilling as she locked eyes with me. I lightly grasped her wrist in my hand and pulled her forward, her other hand resting on the pillow beneath my head.

"Thanks for the cookies," I expressed, my thumb rubbing against the skin at her wrist.

She broke our gaze to stare at my mouth, her cheeks flushed. "You're welcome," she answered lowly.

I didn't know who made the first move, and didn't particularly care as her lips were now pressed against mine. My hands found her cheeks as she straddled my lap, the tips of my fingers immersing into her hair. She tasted like cookies and girl and _Bella_ – I opened my mouth with a new desperation.

She started rocking against my hips as our lips met again and again, our tongues brushing and teasing in the best ways. I moved my hands to her waist and lifted her slightly, gently pushing her onto her back while still keeping my mouth attached to hers. My body covered her own, her legs parting for me to rest between.

The material of her pyjamas was soft against my fingers, but it wasn't the softness I wanted. I wanted her skin on mine.

I immediately started to undo the buttons on her pyjama shirt, groaning into her mouth when I felt she was bare underneath. I kissed and sucked lightly at her neck as I ran my hands between her breasts and across her ribs, loving the sound of her heightened breathing.

My mouth found her nipples, teasing them with my tongue as I palmed her breasts. She moaned loudly, her back arching as she pushed her chest closer to my mouth, her hands pulling my hair, moving my mouth to where she wanted it.

We broke apart long enough for me to pull my shirt over my head, my breathing hard as I lowered myself to her once more. My arms rested beside her head as I moved my hips along with hers, watching her eyelids flutter when I hit the right spot.

She was whispering words I couldn't make out, lost to the feeling our movements were creating.

I slipped my hand beneath the elastic of her bottoms, my fingers touching her above her underwear as she moved against my hand. She soon got frustrated at the lack of room, her hands immediately pushing the pyjamas from her legs.

I watched as more and more skin came into view, my hand moving to run up the inside of her thigh.

Her hands were tugging at my belt loops, her hips leaving the mattress as she tried to find the pressure she wanted... needed. "Edward," she breathed as she ran her hands up my back, "take off your jeans."

I momentarily paused but her fingers were at the button before I could say anything. I didn't realize my own hands were helping her until we were lowering the zipper. I pushed my pants down as far as I could without having to get up, my lips back on hers as she used her feet to push them off the rest of the way.

She felt _so_ good underneath me, only thin layers of cotton between us. Her shirt down her arms as she pushed herself up to remove it completely, her lips and tongue now moving against my jaw in slow kisses.

We'd unintentionally and unconsciously lined up, my dick pressing against her warmth. I normally wouldn't think twice about the next part, but as her fingertips trailed down my arms, feather light, she gazed up at me with parted lips, I knew I couldn't take her like this.

I wouldn't admit it aloud, but I cared enough for her not to take her virtue when we'd been arguing only this morning. It was a new notion for me – I didn't usually feel anything other than lust when with a girl. But Bella had somehow sneaked her way into my core, taking over my thoughts and sometimes, feelings.

Her cheeks were warm with pink, her eyes dark-with-wanting brown. She looked beautiful and trusting as I fought with myself not to push this further.

"It's okay," she breathed against my mouth, her hands running through my hair. "I want to."

I closed my eyes with a groan, my face dropping to her neck. I wanted to... oh God I wanted to, but if we did this, everything would change.

Why did she seem so willing for it to be me? Why wouldn't she want it to be Jacob or someone else who seemingly adored her? Did she think of me more than I thought? Did she feel something for me other than what we had here? If I wasn't such a coward I would ask her all those things, but I was, so I didn't.

"Please," she whispered, the look in her eyes threatening to make me change my mind.

I studied her face and searched her eyes. My resolve was lessening with each second that passed.

"Not tonight," I told her, planting a soft kiss against her mouth. This whole scenario was so backward. It should be me begging to take that final step, and if I gave myself time to really think about what that meant, I knew I'd freak myself out so much I'd end up leaving this house. I'd leave Bella alone in this bed and avoid everything that would occur afterwards.

The most obvious thing though, was I wasn't stupid enough to think I could stop this from happening. It was the natural progression from what we were doing with one another.

I moved to the side just a little, giving myself enough room to give her what she wanted. I didn't remove her underwear... I didn't think I'd be able to say no to her if she was completely bare beneath me.

My words seemed to appease her a little, but not fully. I gently moved my hand underneath black cotton and teased her warm flesh - I distracted her.

Her hands gripped the sheets as I pushed a finger inside her, her mouth opening to release a whimper that went straight to my dick. She was tight and wet and I had to take a deep breath so I didn't do something stupid.

"Are you okay?" I asked, halting the movement of my hand. Her eyes shot open, one of her hands coming to grab my wrist.

"God, yes," she breathed, cheeks flushed, "don't you dare stop." I smiled softly and moved my thumb to rub against the area that made her moan and writhe.

My erection was straining against my boxers - I wanted to ask her to wrap her hand around me, but the look of pleasure on her face stopped the words from leaving my mouth. I didn't want to be selfish.

Of course, when her hand made its way into my boxers by its own accord, I practically thanked Jesus.. even if we were probably sinning in his eyes. I'm sure if he knew how good her hand felt, he wouldn't judge me too harshly. Not that I actually cared.

I thrust against her hand, biting back a groan when her fingers ran across my sensitive head. I knew she didn't have much experience with this sort of thing, but everything she did felt _so_ good to me. If there were gold stars for handjobs, I'd give her at least three.

She was close, I could feel it. I added a second finger and circled her nub with my thumb, my lips tailing along her ear as I whispered her name and how good her hand felt. Then she was done. Her back arched and she clenched around my fingers as she stifled a cry, her head turning to the side as she came.

Her chest rose and fell with her laboured breathing, a soft whimper leaving her mouth as I removed my hand. I kissed her stomach and breasts, moving to her cheeks as she lay sated against her pillows. Her eyelids fluttered open, her lips forming a small and somewhat embarrassed smile. This was new.

"Hi," I smirked, placing a kiss against her lips.

"Hi," she whispered back as her tongue darted out to wet her lips.

Her hand was still wrapped around my hardness, so when she gave a slight squeeze I closed my eyes and hid my face against her chest.

I wasn't expecting her to continue, but she'd matched me in nearly everything we'd done so far, whether it be sparring, teasing... orgasms.

She ran her whole palm against the head of my dick, before moving her hand up and down, twisting her wrist slightly each time she made her way back down.

"Fuck," I panted as I felt the tension build. My release soon coursed through me, my hand quickly covering hers around my cock as I came. I caught most of it with my hand, but a little had landed on her stomach.

I closed my eyes as I moved our hands a few more times, making sure everything was out, hissing when her fingers brushed against my still sensitive head.

"It's not funny," I told her with a smile as she giggled lightly. I removed our hands and tucked myself back into my boxers, glancing around the room for something to clean up with. I spotted a box of tissues on her dresser, and immediately got to my feet to pull a handful out.

"Sorry, about... well, that," I told her as I pointed to her stomach. She took the tissues from me and wrinkled her nose as she wiped them along her skin.

"It's fine," she answered, her cheeks reddening somewhat. "I'm just going to go clean up in the bathroom real quick." I nodded and watched as she stopped to get clean underwear... and then double back slightly to pick up my t-shirt from the floor.

As soon as the door clicked behind her I fell back to the mattress with a thump, my hand immediately moving to rest over my eyes. My heart was beating a steady rhythm as I tried to forget the way she looked at me earlier, her expression unlike any look she'd given me before.

The door opened, Bella reappearing in my t-shirt and underwear and nothing else. Her hair was loose and in soft waves, trailing down around her face. I'd just practically seen her nude beneath me, yet seeing her like this made me avert my eyes to the side of the room. I was being so fucking ridiculous.

She wasn't looking at me, and for that I was thankful. I jumped up off the bed and excused myself to the bathroom she'd just exited, going about my business swiftly. After washing my face for the second time that evening, I slipped back into the bedroom and hesitated by the bed for a few seconds, practically freezing my balls off. I bet the chief had the radiators on a timer or some shit, going on at certain times of the morning and afternoon, before switching off late evening. It was horrible sleeping with the heating on in the winter – it always gave me headaches and left my nose stuffy in the mornings when I'd wake.

I internally rolled my eyes at myself and dove beneath the covers, resting on my back as I felt the bed dip as Bella got out to turn out the light. She had a lamp over on her dresser still switched on, the wattage obviously extremely low as it lit the room just enough to be able to see everything, albeit with a warm tint.

Bella crawled back under the covers, making noise that depicted I wasn't the only one feeling the chill. We both simply lay like this for a few minutes in silence, and as I went to turn over and get comfy, cold feet pressed against my legs, causing me to gasp.

"Jesus, your feet are fucking freezing!" I snapped, sounding harsher than I'd intended to.

I went to move my legs away but she was having none of that - she pushed herself closer to me, and tucked her feet underneath them instead.

"But you're nice and warm," she replied, letting out a yawn. "I'm good now."

She was pressed up against my side, her body soft and warm, tempting me to snuggle back. _It's official, I'm turning into a sappy, feeling, girl._ Tomorrow, I was going to find the biggest steak I could and sit down at the table with a beer. Or, if I was being honest, I'd let Esme cook it for me and I'd have a coke instead of the beer. That wouldn't make me any less manly, if anything it would just make me lazy. I was okay with that.

I tried to simply close my eyes and sleep, but something felt off. I took a peek at the form next to me from the corner of my eye, her face serene as her head rested against the pillow. I debated with myself over my next move, rubbing the side of my face with the hand not currently beside Bella as I wondered whether she would think too much of it.

A fake yawn left my mouth as I raised both arms into the air, pretending to stretch. My right arm dropped back beside me as I finished - my left, however, went behind Bella's head and around her shoulder. _Smooth, Edward. Real smooth._

A soft giggle filled the room, and as I turned my head to the side, I could see a smile on Bella's lips as she slid that little bit closer to me. Her own arm came to lay across my chest as her head rested on my shoulder, her breath warming and tickling my skin.

"Edward?" Bella whispered sleepily, her voice low as her cheek rubbed against my arm.

"Yeah?" I answered, peeking down at her.

"That was so cheesy."

I hid a smile against her hair and feigned ignorance. "I have no idea what you're talking about."

Nothing else was said after that, and as we both slipped off into the land of dreams, I allowed myself to think what it would be like to do this regularly... to have this girl in my arms every night.

I fell asleep that night with a full heart and a smile tugging at the corner of my lips.

* * *

**Reviews will get a teaser for the next chapter.**

**I have three recs this week. They are:**

**'Fall to Ruin One Day' by sleepyvalentina. There are only a few chapters posted so far, and it already owns me. So, so good.**

**'The Diva Diaries' by KiyaRaven. I'm sure a lot of you are already reading this, and rightly so. It's funny and full of UST. **

**'Random Angels' by Eila. It's like Twilight, but reversed, in the fact that Bella is the vamp, Edward is the human. It's complete and has a few twists and turns that make it different from the original story.**

**Please leave them all some love - you'll find all the stories listed in my favourites.**

**Thank you so much for reading. VHL xx**


	27. Chapter 27

**Hey everyone! As always, thank you so much for all your reviews and alerts; they make me smile. And thank you for all your well wishes. :)**

**Thank you so much to my wonderful beta SusanQ. She's lovely and generous and continues to correct my mistakes for me. **

**Thanks to the amazing jedigirlsc for prereading and her overall help. She is a star.**

**The lovely xrxdanixrx interviewed me last week for The Twilight Awards blog. The interview will be up next week on the 18th for those who want to read.**

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns Twilight and all its characters. I just play around with them and make Bella fantasize about Dr. Cullen.**

* * *

Bella

When I'd woken in the morning, the snow had risen to a three-inch blanket that covered as far as the eye could see. It had been snowing on and off for almost a week straight, with absolutely no sign of letting up completely. It was a slow and gentle fall, not at all storm-like as was the case in so many parts of the country. The rain that fell in between the stops and starts melted the snow – there were signs up everywhere to drive carefully, as the roads were icy after the downpours.

The usual greens and browns that were the norm for this town had been shielded by glistening white - even the birds seemed to skip at a quicker pace as they hopped about the ground in search of food, each with little success.

Embedded footprints led off in all different directions, each set having had its own path and destination. I'd watched from my bedroom window as a small child attempted to step into each footprint left behind by his father, a smile spreading across his face every time he succeeded.

I'd stayed curled up on the window seat until the men had turned up with the vehicles to clear away some of the snowfall, banks of ice were pushed up onto each side of the street for cars to pass through with ease.

I hadn't seen Edward much this week, and I wasn't sure how I felt about that. A part of me felt relieved that I could breathe and think straight without his presence beside me, but then another part, a much more dominant part, found myself missing him. A lot. I'd see him in school, and I still sat beside him every day in biology, but it wasn't enough. There was nothing I could do about it however, as Alice had been taking up more of my spare time than usual due to the time of year.

We hadn't had a moment alone together since the morning he'd left my room before Charlie was due home. I'd woken still snuggled next to him, and instead of the usual distance that seemed to be present when things started to get comfortable like that, his arms were around me as he snored softly into the top of my messy hair.

I'd roused him with playful nips at his chest, which he hadn't been too pleased about. I'd told him that's what he got for snoring and keeping me awake, which was a complete lie; I'd slept like a baby. After stripping myself of his t-shirt to give back to him, and exchanging it for one of my own, I pretended not to notice the heated look in his eyes and walked from the room with a longing inside me that I couldn't act on.

He left through the back door, but before I'd had time to fully close it behind me, he was back in front of me shoving a handful of snow down my top. He departed with the words, 'revenge is sweet'.

I didn't tell him that his smiles were sweeter.

I dragged myself from my memories and hugged my knees to my chest. I was still in my flannel pyjamas and fluffy socks despite the late hour. It was nearing eleven, and I knew I'd have to change soon if I was to be ready to meet Alice at midday to go shopping.

Christmas was only two weeks away and I'd yet to buy a single gift. I had a pretty good idea of what I was going to get everyone. The only person who left me baffled was Edward.

What did you get the boy who you weren't meant to have feelings for - your best friend's brother... the boy you fooled around with. I couldn't get him something especially thoughtful, that would raise too many eyebrows. But then I didn't just want to end up getting him nothing either. My best bet would be to see if something caught my eye while I was out.

I dragged myself away from the window and headed for my bathroom, pausing to retreat out into the hallway to quickly pick up some towels from the linen cupboard. I returned to my room and entered the bathroom, turning on the shower to let the water warm up before stepping under the spray. I went through the motions without really thinking about them; I had things on my mind that couldn't be rinsed away like the suds currently in my hair.

I'd made a decision a while ago, and now I was finally going to follow through with it. I was going to tell Jacob... today. I'd arranged for him to come over later this afternoon when I'd have the house to myself.

I'd known all along that what I'd been doing was wrong and completely dishonest. He was supposed to be my friend, and I was treating him as anything but. I'd been selfish and wanted him beside me... just not for the same reasons he had. My own turmoil had tangled him up in my net of confusion. I should have let him loose long before now.

My actions with Edward should never have become this complicated - I hadn't meant for anything more to really happen. I'd thought the physical attraction would have eventually just fizzled out like sherbet on the tongue, but instead the sweet taste had lingered and I'd started to crave more. I didn't think I'd _want_ anything other than the physical side. But just like with everything else in my life lately, I'd been wrong.

He had a control over me, his smirks and green, green eyes impossible for me to stand firm against. And I'd tried, at the beginning I'd fought so hard, but he'd continued to chip away at my armour until all that was left were broken remnants at my feet.

From the first moment his lips had touched mine, I was defeated. From the first moment his hands had touched my skin - in forbidden places - I'd become addicted. From the first moment I'd caught a glimpse of something extra under his carefully crafted façade, I'd wanted to find out more.

He was the equivalent to the toughest of algebra problems. It would take you a while to figure out the numerical values of 'X' and 'Y', but you just knew that once you found the answer, the rewards would be completely worth it.

Problem was, I was still working on it.

The change in temperature created goosebumps across my skin as I stepped out of the warmth of the water, my hands immediately reaching for my towel. I shivered as I hurried into my bedroom with my still wet feet, the carpet a welcome change from the cold tiles. I'd forgotten the window had been open in the bathroom, my dad having some weird thing about always having some form of fresh air blowing into the house, even if it was freezing outside. Next time I'd remember to close it beforehand. And maybe give him a talk about how the weather outside was icy. Maybe I'd buy him a book with pictures to emphasize my point. "_The white stuff in that shot, yeah that's snow. It tends to fall in winter. Crazy, right?"_ I'm sure he wouldn't appreciate my sarcasm, but hopefully he'd get the point.

After I'd finished blow drying my hair, I dressed warmly in jeans and a thick blue sweater. With my snow boots on my feet, scarf around my neck and hat securely on my head, I grabbed my coat, keys, purse, and gloves and opened the front door.

The items in my hands dropped to the floor as I grasped at my chest in surprise.

"Shit, Jacob! You scared me," I breathed, laughing slightly at my shock. He returned my amusement and helped me pick my things from the ground.

"Sorry, I was just about to knock," he answered, holding my purse as I pulled my arms through my coat and fitted my hands into my gloves. I held the keys between my teeth as I fastened my buttons, the metal leaving a horrible taste in my mouth.

"I'd gathered that from the raised fist," I teased after locking the door behind me and shoving my keys into my pocket. "What are you doing here anyway? I thought you were coming by later?"

I battled against the panic and guilt in my chest as the last part of that sentence repeated itself in my head. And my heart.

He held out my purse to me and I gave him a grateful smile as I stepped from the porch onto the mostly clear driveway. Charlie had been out there earlier shoveling the snow aside, before trudging across the street to do the same for Sue. He'd been gone two hours and still hadn't returned. I didn't even want to think about what they were getting up to. Somehow I didn't think it involved twinkle lights. _Gross, Bella. Say... I wonder if I fell face first into that pile of snow over there, whether the cold would numb my nauseating thoughts as well as my entire face..._

Jake's voiced snapped me out of my maybe attempt.

"Yeah... I was, I am. I just thought I'd come see what you were up to," he shrugged, his hands buried deep into his pockets. "Dad has a cold, and has been sneezing all morning. I got out of the danger zone."

I shook my head smiling, then paused, thinking about what was going to happen next. I was supposed to be going shopping, but now Jake was here and I couldn't just leave him on my porch.

"Um... I'm about to head into Port Angeles to do some last minute Christmas shopping," I explained, biting the inside of my cheek.

"Oh, that's cool. I've still got to get Dad something anyway. I'll tag along, if that's okay?" he added, stepping forward to tuck a loose strand of hair behind my ear.

I didn't think Alice would mind Jacob coming with us, after all, I was sure Jasper and Emmett would be joining us too, but Rose on the other hand...

"Bella, if you want to go by yourself, that's fine," he said quickly, brows furrowed. I shook my head, letting him know that wasn't the case.

"No, it's not that. I'm not actually going alone." I bit my lip as understanding washed over his features.

"Ah," he grinned, chuckling. "Don't think I'd be welcome, huh?"

I rocked back and forth and feet, trying to keep myself warm, and finally decided that they'd have to deal with it. "Well, we'll soon find out," I smiled, gesturing for him to follow me.

We talked about Seth on our walk over to the Cullen's, and I told Jacob about the mini snowball fight we'd had Wednesday after Emmett had dropped me home from school.

Seth had been out in his front yard, building a snowman of all things; he'd told me later that it was something he and his dad used to do together when he was little.

I ran inside to dump my bag before going over to help him.

I hadn't built a snowman in years, and embraced my inner child as we decorated its face. We had everything apart from a carrot for its nose, so I ran back inside again, knowing we had some, before nearly falling on my butt as I jumped off the porch steps. My inner child had been just as clumsy apparently.

I hadn't made it halfway across my lawn before a snowball had hit me square in the chest. Seth had stood there with a wide smile on his face, and soon enough I was launching my own ball back over to him. It went wide and hit his mother's car instead.

That hour was silly and fun and completely what I'd needed to take my mind off the two boys who dominated my thoughts.

Jacob laced his fingers with mine as we neared the front door. It was an innocent gesture that shouldn't have filled me as much dread as it did. It was a boyfriend move... but friends could hold hands right?

I glanced at the windows at the front of house, wondering if anyone could see us arriving. I was looking for a familiar mop of bronze hair, that I knew I wouldn't see, but couldn't stop looking for anyway.

Jake cleared his throat as I rang the doorbell. We exchanged small smiles as we heard Alice's voice shouting something or other beyond the door as she approached.

"Bella... and Jacob," Alice voiced as looked between us both. She looked surprised but not unfriendly.

"Hey Shorty," Jake replied easily, pulling a pack of mints from his pocket. "Want one?" Her lips scrunched to the side briefly before morphing into a smile.

"Trying to tell me something?" she teased as she accepted the packet from him. She popped one in her mouth and hummed around it before handing it back. He offered one to me, and I mumbled a 'thank you' around my own mint.

He took a step forward and playfully sniffed the air in front of Alice's face. "Now that you mention it..."

I laughed as Alice pushed at his shoulder, my eyes drifting behind her to see Jasper slide across the floor in his socks, Em swiftly following behind him. _Boys._

"You two better be ready to go because I'm not waiting any longer!" Alice shouted after them, hands moving to her hips.

Emmett slid to the door, catching himself before he fell. "Jasper's just letting Rose know now," he grinned, reaching forward to mess up my hair. He turned to Jacob, the grin not leaving his face.

"I was wondering when this one here was finally going to bring you over here," he said, winking back at me. I swallowed nervously, and hoped my smile didn't show the anxiety I was feeling inside.

They started talking amongst themselves and I took the opportunity to lean towards Alice.

"It's okay if Jake comes with us, isn't it?" I whispered hopefully, gently detaching my hand from his. It would have been easier if he wasn't here, but despite the mess I'd created, I really did like spending time with him.

She waved me off. "It's fine, Bella. Just... maybe, keep him away from Rose," she giggled.

Alice pulled me inside while she went to use the bathroom before we headed out, leaving Jacob and Emmett still chatting at the open door.

I heard Rose before I saw her, her boots clicking against the floor as she came into sight looking like the picture of winter comfort; a cream knit beret style hat, knee length red coat and black boots.

"I can't find my gloves anywhere," she complained as she gave me a hug. "Where's Alice?"

"Bathroom," I informed her. Rose clicked her way to the bottom of the stairs and shouted for Alice to bring a spare pair of gloves down with her.

Alice flitted down the stairs not two minutes later, a cream pair of gloves in her palm. It wouldn't surprise me if she had a pair in every colour stored away in that closet of hers.

Jasper's chuckle gained my attention, and as I turned towards the sound, my eyes fell on two figures, not one. Edward was with him... in his coat... a beanie atop his head. I started to panic as I looked back towards the door – I hadn't even thought about the possibility Edward would be coming along too.

I couldn't deny that I wasn't pleased to see him, because I was; his mere presence caused my heart to beat faster and my cheeks to warm. But as I glanced back at him, his face was unsmiling and stern.

_Looks like Jasper's already told him who I've brought with me, then._

We filed out of the door, my eyes drawn to Jacob and Emmett who were now standing waiting between the cars. From the tension that appeared in Jake's jaw as he looked behind me, I could tell Edward wasn't the only one displeased.

"Whose cars are we taking?" I wondered, eyeing the vehicles. Alice's car was out of the question as it was too small, so by that quick deduction, it looked like it was Edward's Volvo and Em's Jeep.

Now we simply had to decide who would get a lift with who. It was a given that Jake wouldn't be setting foot in Edward's car, so I guessed we'd be in the Jeep.

"That asshole is _not_ getting in my car," I heard Edward mumble behind me, thankfully not loud enough to travel over to Jake's ears.

"Me and Jazz will go with Edward," Alice said quickly, no doubt sensing Edward's hostility. "And you and Jake go with Emmett?" I agreed silently with a nod, and hoped she could see the thanks on my face.

"Alright, let's go kids," Em shouted, a clap of his hands given to hurry us up.

Jake walked forward and looped his arm around my waist, pulling me into his side as we moved along. I'd avoided looking at Edward since I'd stepped outside, but as I waited for Jake to climb into a seat, I made the mistake of looking over at him.

His eyes were staring intensely off into the distance, but as if sensing my gaze, his eyes drifted to me and stayed there. I opened my mouth, intending to say... anything, but then remembered where I was and who I was with, and closed it again.

"Bella?" I tore my eyes away and looked at Jacob's confused face.

"Hmm?" I hummed distractedly, staring into his dark eyes.

"Are you getting in?" he asked, glancing out the window to the car beside us.

I took a deep breath and followed his gaze, relieved to see Edward was sitting behind the wheel. "Yeah, sorry," I smiled, climbing in beside him.

Rose blasted on the heat, the warmth feeling wonderful on my numb nose and cheeks. I clicked my seat belt into place and rested my hands in my lap.

The atmosphere in the car was a little awkward, what with Rose giving Jake the stink-eye – when she wasn't ignoring him that was. Em thankfully cut the tension by turning on the radio, familiar Christmas songs assailing our ears.

"I hate this song," Jake moaned from beside me. 'White Christmas' was currently playing; I didn't tell him it was one of my favourites at this time of year.

Rose chose that moment to turn the volume up, looking far too sweetly over her shoulder at him. "Really? I just love it!"

"Really?" Jake mocked in a voice meant to imitate. "I would never have guessed." His tone was dripping in sarcasm, so much so, I was surprised Rose didn't increase the volume even further to spite him.

"Do you go to Port Angeles often, Jacob?" Rose questioned as she turned back around to face the front.

Jake shrugged. "I've been there enough."

"Oh, that's good then," she said. "I mean, we wouldn't want for you to... oh, I don't know, get lost or something while there. That would be terrible."

I closed my eyes and leaned my head back against the rest behind me, holding in a groan. I could not stand another forty minutes of this.

Jake snorted and crossed his arms over his chest. "Save your brain cells for applying the stuff on your lips."

"Fu-"

"Stop it – both of you!" I scolded, looking at them pointedly. "I'm sure Emmett doesn't want you two bickering while he's driving."

"Nah, I'm okay with it," he shrugged, quickly peeking back at me. It was long enough to notice the unimpressed look on my face. "I mean, no... yeah, that's right. No arguing."

I couldn't help but snort, and I could see Rose and Jake were both fighting their own smiles as Emmett started rambling that he needed concentration while driving.

He kept it up for the rest of the way. I really loved that boy sometimes.

OoOoO

Shopping was a little difficult with Alice around – I'd asked the ladies at the cash registers to double the bags for me after I'd made a purchase. I didn't trust her not to peek. We mostly stayed together when perusing, and Jacob became my sort of wingman when I spotted something I wanted to buy for one of the others. I'd whisper for him to keep the particular person busy while I rushed to go pay.

Alice and Rose helped me pick out some antique photo frames for Renee and Phil, and a new fishing hat for Charlie. I also got him socks. I always figured men had to be bought socks for some strange reason. He'd been getting a pair sent him every Christmas for the past six years. These had some kind of fish in Santa hats on them.

Esme got a glass jewelery box with a pretty pattern on the top. I knew Alice was getting her a new watch for Christmas, so I thought it would be something she could keep it in.

Carlisle's was a little more difficult, mainly because I kept drifting over to the lingerie department in this one particular store, thinking that I should buy this festive set made from red silk and velvet. It had little bells on the front of the bra cups. He would have definitely heard me arriving, which needless to say, had put me in a whole different mind set again. I doubted walking into his home office wearing that with a bow tied around me with a large tag saying, "unwrap me" would have been the best of ideas.

Then I thought about getting him chocolates, which led to me thinking about feeding them to him... in the festive bra. Everything I looked at basically led to thoughts of me trying to seduce the unsuspecting good doctor.

I eventually decided on a book. It led to non smutty thoughts, which at the time had been a major success. That's not to say I didn't think about sliding in a book from the erotica section as a little surprise, but common sense finally prevailed. The fact that Alice had been with me at the time also may have helped.

I decided to buy Angela a gift at the last minute, and picked up a set of mini perfumes that I hoped she'd like.

I'd gotten Jasper, Jake and Emmett video games. I lucked into that after hearing them oohing and ahhing over a few choices through a store window; they were apparently new releases. One was something to do with 'Duty', which I got for Jasper, and I chose a car themed game for Jake. The other was a wrestling game, which was for Em.

I didn't feel right leaving Jake's gift as just that, so I'd picked up a t-shirt from a shop that sold custom made prints. The winner, was dark green in colour with the image of two pieces of toast 'humping'. It was paired with the words, 'I'm gonna crumb, I'm gonna crumb!'. I couldn't stop laughing after seeing it. I knew he'd find it funny; he had that exact sense of humour.

Alice was more difficult to choose for, as the girl practically had everything, but in the end I was happy with my purchases for her. I'd found a really cute sewing kit, which I knew she'd love. She'd taken to altering clothing after buying it lately, putting her own twist on it, and the fact that it was in neon pink sealed the deal for me. A lip gloss set and new purse to keep it all in, and I was done.

When it came time for Jacob to keep Rose busy... well, let's just say he'd ended up telling her to go wait outside as her perfume was stinking up the place. That ignited an argument about who smelled worse, and gave me chance to pick out a silver bracelet and a couple of charms. It was a little more expensive than the other gifts I'd bought, but she'd spoiled me on my birthday, so I wanted to do the same for her.

The only person I had left to buy for was Edward – and I still had no idea what to get him. I knew he liked music, and his car, and his piano, but I'd seen nothing that had jumped out at me while perusing through the different stores.

He'd kept his distance from me all day, hardly looking at me in fact. I'd been surreptitiously glancing at him every so often, but he seemed to be in his own head as he picked up random objects from a shelf before putting them back down again. When he did meet my eye he swiftly refocused his attention on something else.

I wanted to go over to him and ask him if he was okay... press my hand to his cheek to get him to look at me, but it was impossible to do those things with everyone nearby.

I'd somehow managed to drift away from everyone else, and quickly entered a small music store I'd been eyeing earlier. I texted Jake to let him know I'd meet them again in a little while so he wouldn't come looking for me, and wandered around the store, hoping something would catch my eye.

As I moved towards the back of the shop, my eyes fell on a collection of miniature music boxes in the shapes of a variety of different instruments. A smile graced my face as I picked up the one shaped as the grand piano and opened the lid. It played a song I recognized, but didn't know the name of, and while I was sure it was maybe a little girlie to some, I was hoping that Edward wouldn't see it that way.

My feet moved across the floor to the lady behind the counter with greying hair, my movements quick so I wouldn't second guess myself in the choice I'd made.

"Lovely choice, Dear," she commented as she turned the piece around to face her. "Do you want to add an inscription?"

I felt my brows furrow as I answered. "I'm sorry?" I questioned. She laughed good naturedly before replying.

"An inscription," she smiled. "The charge is only a little extra, and it just makes the gift that little more personal for the _someone_ you're buying it for."

_Oh... do I want to get an inscription added?_

"Um, sure," I answered, even though I wasn't completely sure. She handed me a piece of paper and told me to write my message down.

I stared at it in apprehension at first, thinking I should just buy the thing and leave it as that. But a part of me wanted him to have something from me, to... well, not remember me by in a sappy way, more...just that there was in a time in his teens where he had a girl who thought of him a little... or a lot, but I'd leave that bit out.

I wasn't naïve enough to think he'd want a relationship with me – he'd told me himself it was going to end, that it wasn't anything serious. I had to take his words at face value, because if I let myself believe... to hope... I knew I'd end up with a broken heart.

With a deep and hopefully calming breath, I put pen to paper and quickly wrote what I wanted to say. I could have written happy and meaningful words, but that wasn't him, and that definitely wasn't us... not that there really was an 'us' where he was concerned.

I'm sure if he knew of my feelings... my change in thought, he'd run for the hills... or, well, the next girl that had managed to capture his attention.

_To Edward,_

_I hope you get everything you ask for this Christmas. _

This is where I got stuck. Did I sign it with 'love'? Would it freak him out? I didn't think I was there yet, despite my growth in feelings. How could you tell if what you were feeling was love anyway?

Thoughts of him filled my day. I missed him when I didn't see him, and when I did, my eyes sought out his, as if it were the most natural thing in the world. He'd brought out sides of myself I hadn't realized I'd had – some I liked, some I hated. He made me question aspects of myself I'd ignored. His smile created one of my own, his hand in mine felt _right_, like it was made to fit. Was all of this love? Was I in love with Edward?

Here I was thinking thoughts of another, when I had to do the hardest thing I'd had to do in my mostly-sheltered life so far, later today. It wasn't fair of me to once again think of myself when I would take Jacob's hand in a few hours and tell him it wasn't working out.

With a shake to my head I signed the end.

_Love, Bella._

I handed the piece of paper back to the sales lady and took my money from my purse.

"This will be ready in a day or two. What day would you like to pick it back up?" she asked me as she rung the price through the till.

Shit, I'd forgotten about that. I had school and homework and it got dark so early right now. I didn't fancy making the hour long journey back here by myself in the dark.

"We do home deliveries if that's more convenient," she offered. I let out a grateful sigh and nodded.

"That would be great. Thanks," I expressed.

She handed me a card to write my address on, and then settled up the payment before handing me my receipt.

It would be arriving Tuesday, so I'd have to ask Charlie to stick around to sign for it. Hopefully he wouldn't mind.

As I was leaving, I riffled through some sheet music near the front of the store, having no real clue what I was looking at, but thought maybe I should get a few sheets. The sales lady was busy with another customer though, so I decided to leave it. I took a step away and ran straight into someone.

"I'm so sorry, I didn't see-"

My words died in my throat as I was met with the familiar green eyes I'd been kept from all day.

"What are you doing here?" I asked, surprised to see him. I glanced behind him to check if the others were with him. They weren't.

"This is a music store," he replied with that crooked smile that made my skin feel warm. "The question is: what are _you_ doing here? You don't play an instrument."

He had one brow raised in question, his eyes dancing about my face as he waited for my answer. I stammered and then simply shrugged, hoping my cheeks weren't warm with colour right then.

"Nothing... just looking around."

"Huh," he said, stepping forward to take a peek at the bags in my hand. "Anything for me in there?" he asked, eyes bright for seemingly the first time today.

"I couldn't possibly say," I smiled, shifting the bags behind my back and away from his viewpoint. There was obviously nothing in there for him, but he didn't know that.

He smirked and shook his head ever so slightly.

"I bet I could get you to," he voiced lowly, taking another step forward until I could feel his body against mine. I closed my eyes for a brief second, relishing in his contact, before stepping aside and away from the temptation to grab fistfuls of his shirt and bring his mouth down to mine. It wouldn't be wise to start kissing him in front of the display window where anyone who passed by would be able to see if they chose to look.

His hands went to his hair, but immediately lowered again as he'd obviously forgotten he was wearing a hat. He sent a frustrated expression my way, his eyes no longer bright.

"You better get back. Your _boyfriend's_ missing you," he stated, his mouth closing to reveal the tension in his jaw.

I swallowed against the lump in my throat, and pushed my way out of the door and into the street without looking back.

I found the others a few shops down, and apologized for disappearing on them.

"Can we please go eat now? I'm starving," Emmett pleaded, his eyes already roaming for the nearest food outlet.

Rose rolled her eyes and linked her arm through his. "Sure, come on."

"Where's Edward?" Alice suddenly wondered aloud, a crease forming between her brows. "He was here a minute ago."

I jumped as Jake put his arm around my shoulders, ending with me dropping one of my bags in my surprise. "Shit," I exclaimed, quickly picking it back up again.

"You alright?" he queried, looking down at me in my slightly flustered state.

I nodded but wouldn't meet his eyes. "Yeah, I'm fine," I lied, my hands feeling sweaty against the plastic carrier bags.

Jasper cleared his throat and waved the cell that was in his hand. "I texted Edward to tell him we were going to eat. Emmett's suggested pizza. Is that okay with everyone else?"

I kept quiet, not really hungry, but definitely wanting to have a sit down for a minute or thirty. Edward's words at the music store had affected me more than I cared to admit. And as I walked beside Jake I could feel my nerves rising to such a high level I thought my legs would crumple underneath me.

I found myself seated between Jake and Emmett when we arrived at the small Italian restaurant, with Rose on the other side of him. Alice and Jasper sat on the opposite side, leaving room for Edward if he decided to join us.

I put my bags between my feet, making sure nothing could fall out. I looked up to see Jacob staring at them.

"Anything for me in there?" I froze at the words... the exact same words Edward had asked me not ten minutes before.

I glanced up nervously and licked my drying lips. "Um, maybe." He winked and seemed to not notice my awkwardness, leaning forward to look at the topping menu.

The door opened, the chill assaulting the back of my neck as I slipped off my coat, and Alice muttered a 'finally' as Edward came and sat opposite me. He dumped his own few bags under his seat and rested his elbows on the table as he tried to warm his hands with his breath.

Jacob's arm went behind me on the bench, and I tried not to tense up too much from the contact. I grabbed a menu and surreptitiously glanced at Edward as I did so.

His eyes were focused on the arm around me, the hands in front his mouth now fisted. He was obviously bothered by Jacob being there, and even though it was wrong of me to feel it, I was starting to feel the same way.

Then lips pressed themselves against my temple and it felt like the whole room quieted. Of course, no such thing happened, but it didn't stop me from feeling like a paranoid piece of shit.

I turned to whisper for Jacob not to in front of everyone, but before words could leave my mouth, his lips brushed against mine, only getting firmer the longer I sat there stunned.

I dropped my face and pulled away, pushing the hair from my face. "Aww, look at Bella's rosy cheeks," Emmett teased, turning to pinch one. "That good a kisser, is he? Pucker up Jacob," he joked.

Everyone laughed except for me, Rose and Edward. Rose told Emmett she was about to eat so he should stop being disgusting, and... well, Edward was unabashedly staring at me. His eyes were dark and searching, his expression making me feel like the only person in the room. My heart was beating so fast; I had to sit on my hands to stop myself from reaching over to touch his fingers on the table in front of me.

"Can you let me out please Jake?" I asked, already on my feet. "I need to go to the bathroom."

He smiled and stood aside, stopping me for a second to ask what pizza we should get. 'We' not me, or him, but 'we'.

"Whatever you want is fine," I told him with a small smile before making my way to the restroom.

I locked myself in one of the stalls and sat on the closed toilet lid. My head fell to my hands as I attempted to collect myself from spilling my secrets to everyone out there at that table.

What was I thinking bringing Jacob here today? I should have realized it would be awkward, and confusing, especially considering the fact that as soon as we returned to Forks, I would be ending the 'more' part of our relationship.

I unlocked the door and splashed my face with cold water before using the horrible paper towels to pat it dry. I slipped out the door only to find Edward waiting for me.

"Don't," I whispered, recognizing the look on his face. "I can't. Not here, not now."

"I don't care," he hissed, grasping my arm to pull me down the little corridor that led to the staff area. "I've hardly seen you all week, and now when I do, you're with _him_."

I wrenched my arm away and lowered it back to my side. "So? I see you at school with girls all the time. You don't see me telling you who you can and can't be friends with," I spat.

He laughed bitterly. "The difference is I don't go kissing my _friends,_ Bella."

I shook my head and snorted. _Unbelievable_. "No, you do much more than that, don't you Edward?"

He said nothing to that, but I could see the undisguised anger on his face. I'd hit a nerve, and I was glad.

"I'm going back to the table," I told him, taking a step backwards. "I've already been gone too long."

Jake stood once more when I got back, and I whispered my thanks as I sat back down. Thankfully no one mentioned anything, however, I noticed Jasper looking over at me a few times.

There was a tall glass of lemonade waiting for me, and I took greedy gulps, not realizing how thirsty I actually was.

Edward returned not minutes after me, but I didn't look at him this time. The pizza came, and I took small bites, my appetite practically non existent.

"So, Jacob – have you picked out a suit for the dance yet?" Alice asked across from us. I swallowed slowly... I'd forgotten about that. I wanted to tell Alice to talk about something else, but I couldn't. It was my own fault, my own mistakes that had created this mess. Alice was doing nothing wrong; she was simply making polite conversation over a subject she was excited about.

"Yeah, I have something ready," he answered her with a smile. She grinned and nodded in approval, before seemingly remembering something.

"Wait, just make sure your tie is the same colour as Bella's dress," she said while pointing a finger at him. "It's important."

He looked at me from the corner of his eye, his hand coming to rub at his jaw. "I don't actually know the colour of Bella's dress yet," he admitted.

"That's probably because she's hoping to find a better date before then," Rose added from the other end of the bench. Edward snorted and I found myself glaring at him from across the table.

"I don't know why you're laughing," I stated, his smile fading. "You don't even have a date."

"Ooh, burn," Jacob murmured from beside me. "This was a girls' choice, too, wasn't it?"

I ignored Jacob's attempt to rile Edward up even further, and focused on the boy that was now glaring back at me.

He leaned forward a little, to which I unintentionally found myself copying somewhat, as he uttered something that made my jealousy flare to an unexpected flame.

"That's where you're wrong," he smirked, taking a sip of his coke, condensation running down the outside of his glass to his fingers. "Tanya asked me yesterday, and I accepted."

There was a lengthy 'ewww' from Alice, and a laugh from Emmett, but I couldn't do either of those things. It felt like I'd just been punched in the stomach and left to deal with the hurt by myself. I knew what usually happened at these dances, or what happened _after_ them, I should say.

Tanya wanted Edward, you had to be blind not to see it, and he'd give in to her. He'd said no to me, but he wouldn't refuse her. She was beautiful and confident and experienced... everything that I wasn't. She'd get to dance with him, get to feel his arms around her while others watched on. I couldn't have that, maybe didn't deserve it after the way I'd treated Jacob. Perhaps this was the thing that was meant to open my eyes. Edward knew I wasn't intimate with Jacob, yet despite him telling me twice now that he wasn't with any other girls like _that_, how could I trust him to go home with her afterwards and do nothing. He knew this would play on my mind after I'd voiced my thoughts on the subject – he was relishing in it, getting his own back for Jacob being here today.

"I hope you have _heaps_ of fun," I told him finally as I rested back against the seat. I could see Jasper staring at me again, but as I met his gaze, he simply smiled and focused back on his pizza.

I didn't have time to think about it any further, as Em suggested we should hit the road as the time was getting on. The boys went to pay as Alice linked her arm with mine and Rose, and pulled us out the door.

"Ugh, I can't believe Edward is going with her," Alice said in disgust. "I hope he carries some hand sanitizer with him all night. I mean, who knows what that girl is carrying."

I felt sick but forced out a laugh, not wanting to draw attention to myself. The thought of them doing anything together, let alone dancing, made my heart hurt.

The drive back was pretty much the same as the drive there. Jacob and Rose bickered for a while about anything and everything. While she was genuinely irritated by his presence, I think he actually enjoyed getting her angry.

After Emmett had dropped me and Jacob off at the bottom of my drive – I thanked them both with a kiss on the cheek – I dug out the keys from my pocket and pushed the door open with my elbow.

I took the bags up to my room, Jake following me while laughing at the look on Rose's face as he waved bye to her with a shit eating grin on his face.

I kicked off my shoes and stored the gifts in my closet, closing the door softly behind me. I looked at Jake and felt my unease and guilt rise to the surface. It was now or never.

"Jake, can I talk to you?" I asked softly, my fingers twisting together as my anxiety rose like the sun at dawn.

He seemed to hesitate for a second, and looked like he was going to make an excuse to leave - but I couldn't let him run off. It was time to tell him the truth... at least half of it anyway.

I placed my hand gingerly on his arm as he finally took a seat beside me. Looking into his eyes, I knew I should have done this sooner. I'd been scared and selfish... so, so selfish. I didn't know why I'd thought not telling him would make things easier and less painful.

I'd let myself get caught up in emotions I'd only previously read about. I was a coward, and as I caught our reflection in the mirror atop my dresser, I didn't like what I saw. My reasons had been distorted, but as I met my own gaze, everything was harsh and clear.

What had I done?

I'd been so unfair to him... I'd been so unlike me. I'd never lied to someone like I had been doing to Jake. I'd always been pretty honest. Like when I broke my mother's vase as a child during one of my birthday parties, I owned up to it despite the fact there were kids running around everywhere.

Then when I was eight, I stole a pack of jelly sweets from old Mrs. Jenson's candy drawer when she babysat for me while Renee was out on a date. I ate it and felt so guilty afterwards that I was physically sick. I'd cried and told her I'd taken them, apologizing through my tears.

It wasn't part of my nature to be so dishonest, but the problem with a lie, was that once you told it, it grew bigger and bigger and became so large it was impossible to go back without creating casualties.

You start to think it's easier to keep it a secret... keep it hidden from the people involved, but it isn't. It's worse... so much worse. It suffocates you until you think you're never going to be able to come up for air again without choking.

Jake ducked his head to meet my eyes, his features portraying expectancy as I struggled with what to say.

"I don't think this is working," I told him nervously, the words finally leaving my mouth after some hesitation.

He stared back at me with an expression portraying confusion as he spoke. "You don't think what's working?" he asked, resting his elbows on his knees.

I ran my hand nervously through my hair – twice – as I fought the urge to be a coward and look to the floor. I think, deep down, he knew what I was talking about; he just needed to ask _that_ question that was used by so many in this same situation.

"You and me," I whispered, motioning between the both of us with a shaky hand.

I could see the moment realization hit. "Oh."

"I tried, and I'm so, so sorry. But I..." I paused to take a deep breath, "I just don't see you as more than a friend."

He nodded, the response seemed more automatic than anything else. I wanted to apologize time and time again; I hadn't meant to hurt him.

"Say something... please," I begged when he refused to look at me. I took one of his hands in mine and rested them in the space between us. I had no right to want everything to go back to normal, but I wanted to make sure he was okay.

"I don't really know what to say, Bella," he let out in a whoosh of breath. "I mean, how long have you been feeling like this?"

I could have lied and told him, 'not long', but I didn't want to do that anymore. I could feel the anxious beat of my heart as my adrenaline soared.

"A while," I answered lowly.

His head dropped and his eyes closed as my words sank in... I let him absorb them. I could feel the threat of tears start to sting my eyes as I watched him battle with what to do. I'd never had to do this before, break up with someone, and I never wanted to do it again. It was awful, not only for yourself, but also to watch the look on the other person's face as you told them.

He looked up, his usually happy eyes now filled with a sadness I'd put there. I felt sick.

"There's no one else is there?" he questioned, eyes studying my face with so much intensity I felt myself struggling to breathe normally.

This was the question I'd been dreading most of all, mostly because I didn't know how I'd react.

I swallowed thickly and answered him, my voice shaking slightly. "No, there's no one else, Jake."

He seemed relieved as he blew out a long breath, but his eyes and the way his shoulders were still slightly hunched, showed that perhaps that wasn't the case at all. Perhaps it was simply wishful thinking on my part.

"I really am sorry," I said again, searching for words to make everything better. I was stupid and naïve and wanted so much for everything to be alright, but I knew he needed time.

"I think I should go home to check on Dad," he whispered, clearing his throat. I felt a tear roll down my cheek as he stood, and when I went to follow, he put up a hand to stop me.

"Just give me a little time, okay?" he asked, the tone of his voice making the tears fall faster.

I couldn't speak, so I simply nodded. I shouldn't have been crying in front of him like this; it was just another selfish act in a long list.

He came forward and used his thumb to wipe the tears collected at my chin, before pulling his hand away abruptly. "I'll call you soon."

He left the room, closing the door behind him, distancing himself from me, unbeknown to him, leaving me to drown in my own guilt. I deserved nothing less.

I watched as he got into his car, his head momentarily resting against the steering wheel before driving off.

At first, things had been different between us. Not a _bad_ different... but not a _good_ one either. I'd just never felt that spark that was supposed to light up your sky and blind you with its intensity.

I didn't know if things would have been okay for us if Edward hadn't entered the picture, and I guess now I'd never find out.

The problem with my picture was, there was only enough space for two people in the frame - it wasn't big enough to hold anyone else.

Someone was always going to have to be cut off the end of the shot.

* * *

**Next chapter is the dance - reviews will get a teaser. **

**This weeks recs are:**

**'Secrets and Lies' by BellaScotia. I started it this last week, and was immediately hooked. A really good read.**

**'America's Sweethearts' by ciaobella27. This fic is so good. I just adore it.**

**You'll find both stories in my favourites list.**

**Thanks so much for reading. VHL xx**


	28. Chapter 28

**Hey everyone! Your reviews, alerts and PMs continue to make me smile - thank you so much for each and every one.**

**Thanks to my beta Susan for all her hard work - she makes everything better. Not to mention, she makes me laugh.**

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**And finally thanks to all the girls on the thread for sharing their thoughts.**

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns Twilight and all its characters.**

* * *

Edward

As soon as I'd pulled the car into the driveway, I was out of the seat and up the stairs to my bedroom in minutes. I didn't bother to wait for Alice and Jasper to get out so I could lock it; I simply needed to be away from everyone so I could let my frustration out without raising too many eyebrows as to why I was in my current mood.

Of course, Jasper would know, but I was really hoping he'd stick to his previous promise and not say anything to Alice or the others. I knew it was selfish of me, but it wasn't only my secret to tell. Also, right then, I really didn't care.

I toed off my shoes and kicked them across the room, immediately dropping to the chair in front of my computer as I tried to rein in my emotions.

I'd have been lying if I said I wasn't still feeling angry over the day's events. Not only had Bella brought Jacob with her today, to _my_ house, but she'd also kissed him in front of me as if I hadn't been sitting straight across from them. Then to make my mood even worse, Alice had to go and open her mouth about the dance, the event I'd been silently dreading for the past couple of weeks.

Bella would be going with her... _boyfriend_, so I didn't think twice about accepting Tanya's invitation when she'd asked me earlier in the week. I wasn't a fan of these types of things, but a part of me knew that Esme would have – no doubt along with Alice's insistent help – somehow forced me to go.

I moved over to the bed, lying face down on the mattress.

I couldn't stop thinking about the fact Jacob would get to touch her in front of all our classmates, where I could only observe from another set of arms I wouldn't want wrapped around me. I had thought that maybe, just maybe, Bella would start to pull herself away from him, but after witnessing them together today, I didn't think that was going to happen any time soon.

My fingers ran through my hair in frustration, a heavy sigh soon leaving through my parted lips. I shouldn't have been feeling this disappointment, this anger, but I didn't seem to be able to stop the feelings rushing over me in endless and violent waves.

She hadn't even let me touch her touch earlier. She'd avoided me, and tried to make me look foolish in front of the one person I truly disliked. She knew it too... she'd known what she was doing. It didn't take a genius to figure out she was just as angry with me, after all, I'd stupidly let my jealousy burn brightly by waiting for her to emerge from the bathroom so I could pull her aside undetected.

I wanted to show her that what she had with Jacob was nothing compared to what she had with me. I wanted to show her that my hands were the ones to excite her... that my lips were the ones that elicited _those_ sounds – the ones that drove me insane - from her mouth. But she'd pulled away from me and left me with harsh words that I knew were true; which was why they'd continued to sting long after she'd voiced them.

I needed her to see I cared, even if I couldn't give her everything she wanted. That if I changed my mind, and let everyone see, I'd try. But that meant putting myself out there, making myself vulnerable, and I wouldn't do that. It was obvious where her heart was, and it wasn't with me.

Nothing would make this situation easier, and I was starting to think that maybe it wasn't worth it... that _she_ wasn't worth it. Yet, as soon as the thought transpired in my head, it just as quickly disappeared, dissolving like sugar crystals in water.

My bad mood, however, lingered like the mist in early morning. It blinded me from anything else for the remainder of the dying day.

OoOoO

The sounds of wet shoes squeaking against the tiles carried throughout the hallway as I stepped through the front doors of the school. I shook my head to dispel the rain that was currently dripping from my hair, my need for a cigarette before class having won the internal argument over whether it was worth getting soaked for. I'd obviously decided it had been.

I hitched my bag higher onto my shoulder, and weaved my way past the bodies in my way. I spotted Jessica from the corner of my eye, her body angling itself towards me as if she were about to travel in this direction – needless to say, I hurried past her and ignored her calls of my name.

She'd asked me at the beginning of the week whether I'd like to go to the dance with her. I was a little surprised she'd asked me considering it was so late; she'd had plenty of time to do so before. I'd told her someone had already asked me, and almost felt sorry for her when she genuinely looked upset.

The moment was awkward, and I'd tried to make her feel better by saying that it wasn't anything against her, it was simply that she was too late in asking. That led to her admitting she was hoping I'd ask her, despite the fact it was girls' choice. The girl really was clueless, and the little bit of empathy I'd had for her, instantly flew out the proverbial window. It may have been harsh, but I just couldn't deal with her stupidity on top of my shitty weekend.

Other than that, the week had started off pretty quietly, the reason for that soon becoming apparent. Bella had been keeping her distance from me... which to be honest, bothered me more with each day. In addition to that, she'd also been looking really down this week, mostly keeping to herself after school, which meant she hadn't been over to the house the last few days. She was quiet during lunchtimes, picking away at her food in silence while the rest of my family tried to coax her into joining in with the conservations.

On Tuesday, I'd had enough, and interrupted once of Alice's rambles about the dance to question if she was okay as casually as I could. The table fell silent, but all I got in the form of a reply was a terse nod. My fists had clenched under the table, and it had taken everything in me not to push her further. Instead, I finished the remainder of my drink and walked from the cafeteria, James' eyes on me the whole time.

When we'd returned home from school, I'd asked Jasper if he knew anything, but he'd hesitated and finally told me that if I wanted to know, I'd have to ask Bella myself.

That was proving to be difficult seeing as the only time we had time to talk lately was in biology, and Mr. Banner had been keeping us busy with quizzes before we left for Christmas break. Every time I tried to speak to her, she'd answer me with non-committal answers. I'd even gone as far as going to her house later that evening. However, I hadn't been expecting Charlie to still be home.

As soon as I saw the cruiser in the driveway, I'd made to turn on my heel. Problem was, I hadn't noticed him pottering about in the garage, so his voice came as a shock to me as he called out my name.

His curiosity as to why I'd been about to knock on his door so late wasn't veiled - it showed in his arms crossed tightly over his chest and slightly narrowed eyes. I lied and told him I needed to talk to Bella about our project, all the while making sure to keep eye contact. One glance to the side and I was sure he'd know I'd been lying. He seemed to buy it, and informed me Bella was currently inside talking with Jacob, if I wanted to go on in.

I tried not to let the news of who she was with show on my face, and excused myself, telling him I'd catch her at school tomorrow instead. He was quiet for a few seconds before suggesting I try and phone her a little later. I agreed, even though I knew she wouldn't answer. I'd already tried that.

Her mood started to improve somewhat mid-week, and the bubble she'd been keeping herself in slowly started to burst.

It was Friday, and I was determined to get a moment alone with her at some point during the day - if that meant I'd have to lock her in one of the classrooms with me until she'd speak to me, I'd do it.

It was the last day of school before Christmas break, which also meant the day of the dance was upon us. It was being held in the school gymnasium, as really, where else in this town was there to hold it? Alice had informed us all how pretty the decorations were, and that the usually drab gym looked like a winter wonderland. With her basically running the thing, it didn't surprise me.

I was busy collecting a book from my locker when Tanya appeared beside me. I noticed the top few buttons of her shirt were undone as she crossed her arms across her chest, accentuating her already ample cleavage.

There was no doubt in my mind that this was meant to entice.

I glanced briefly before meeting her eyes, cocking a brow at her less than subtle ploy to get attention from the male eye.

"Tanya," I greeted, sending her an amused smirk. I shook my head and closed my locker before turning to face her fully. "Was there something you wanted?"

She smiled and dropped her arms to her sides as she pulled at the end of her shirt. "I wanted to ask if you could pick me up a little later than planned," she started, looking back over her shoulder to where Lauren was currently in conversation with Jane.

"Tyler will be a little late picking Lauren up; she wants us to arrive at the dance together," she said with a roll of her eyes. "Is that okay?"

I nodded and shoved my hands into my trouser pockets. "Yeah, that's fine. It's a family thing, I get it," I answered. It really didn't make that much of a difference to me.

She laughed. "I personally think it's more to do with who my date is," she explained, the expression in her eyes one of playfulness.

I snorted and rubbed the side of my jaw, not really having anything to say about that as I stared back at her. "I'll pick you up at eight-thirty, then?"

"Perfect," she smiled, stepping forward as she put her lips to my ear. "I'll see you then." I watched as she made her way back to her cousin and friend, leading them both away until they disappeared from my line of sight.

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath in through my nose, feeling the already building tension in my jaw as I did so. I'd accepted Tanya's invite purely out of spite and jealousy... and I'd been regretting it ever since. I wasn't stupid, I knew she'd expect something to happen between us afterward, and part of me thought I should just go along with it. I mean, I wasn't accountable to anyone; I could do what I wanted with whom I chose. She wouldn't want any commitments or promises – it would be so, so easy...

With one last deep breath, I pushed away from my locker and made my way to class.

Math passed slowly, the problems on the question sheet seeming so foreign to my eyes. English was going pretty much the same way, though that had more to do with my seating partner than anything else.

"She's looking good today, huh?" James suggested, nudging my elbow. I pulled my arm away and sighed internally.

"Yeah, I guess," I replied, glancing at Tanya who was currently standing at the front of the class talking to the teacher.

"I heard she asked you to the dance," he said, not looking up from his textbook. I hated that he was making small-talk with me, but I knew if I ignored him, he would become even more intolerable.

"She did," I answered simply, scratching at my scalp. I squinted at the clock on the wall; the harsh fluorescent lighting was reflecting against the clock face, making it difficult to read the time.

_Still ten minutes left._

"You don't sound too excited about it," he observed, titling his head slightly to look at me. I leaned back in my seat with a sigh.

"Your point being?" I wondered, arching a brow.

"Just thought you'd be a little more excited about it," he shrugged. "I know she is."

I scoffed, and looked at the next question on the board. "And you'd know that, how?"

"Victoria told me," he replied, smirking. "Girls talk," he added, as if that explained everything.

"Yeah, well, it's just a stupid dance," I sighed, glancing at the clock again in hopeless desperation for the hands to move faster.

Tanya returned to her table, smiling at us both before taking her seat once more. Wanting to direct the conversation away from me, I asked him who he was going with.

"Carmen," he smiled. "Her parents are out of town, so that makes things easier for afterwards." I shook my head, although not surprised at his reasoning for accepting her invite.

"Victoria didn't ask?" I questioned, a little surprised she hadn't.

He turned a page in his book, face impassive. "No, she did," he shrugged. "I just didn't fancy going with her. The clingy thing, remember?"

He imitated being choked, hands hovering around his neck. I kind of wanted to tell him he wasn't being thorough enough.

"Oh, right, yeah." I could understand his words to an extent; I didn't like 'clingy' either. The difference being, I wouldn't have made such a big deal out of it, or kept going back to her whenever I wanted. He brought in on himself, but wouldn't accept any of the responsibility.

"Your lovely neighbour is coming, I hope?" he grinned. My pen stopped as my hand stilled.

"I think so," I said as calmly as possible. "Why?"

He ignored my question to ask another of his own.

"Is she bringing the kid from the res?" he asked, his eyes searching as he awaited my answer. I debated whether to give him the information he wanted. But then, if James wanted to know something badly enough, he'd find out somehow. He'd even ask Bella herself, and as much as I had no rights to who she could and couldn't speak with, I didn't want him hanging around her if I could help it.

"I would have thought so." He nodded, but continued to stare. "Anyway, it's not something I'd really know the answer to," I lied, turning my face back to the front of the room.

He was silent, which I hated more than his constant chatter. The saying, 'silence is deadly' definitely had someone like James in mind when it was first uttered.

I had just finished writing the paragraph I'd started in my notebook when the bell rang and everyone started to pack up their belongings.

"Walk with me?" Tanya asked as I made to slip from the room unnoticed. Her hand curled around my arm, and if it wasn't for the fact James was on the other side of her, I would have removed it.

"Sure." She talked about her dress for tonight, and how it was a lot nicer than Lauren's, which had caused a bit of tension when her aunt had brought it for her as a surprise.

I left her at the Language Department, telling her I'd see her at lunch.

As I was nearing the front doors of the school to make my way to the music rooms, Bella burst through them, her breathing loud in the otherwise empty corridor.

I felt that desperation... need, rise to the surface once more. _Has she only just arrived? Is she sick? Where has she been?_ I seemed to be full of internal questions lately.

Her head rose slowly, her gaze eventually meeting mine. She glanced behind her, the pouring rain visible through the half-glassed doors. Her lip was caught between her teeth as she turned back towards me.

I didn't waste any more time before I started towards her, unwilling to let go of this opportunity.

My feet stopped, and ignoring the roar of the wind outside, I spoke. "Can we talk?" I asked, running my hand through my hair.

She swallowed thickly and pushed the hood of her coat from her head. "We have class," she replied wearily. "I can't."

I groaned in frustration, and reached for her hand. "So? Skip it," I said with a shrug.

She shook her head but made no move to withdraw from me. Taking this as a good sign, and remembering my thoughts from earlier, I pulled her into the first empty classroom I found, and closed the door behind us.

The room was bathed in a gloomy grey, the miserable weather outside permitting the atmosphere inside. I didn't switch the light on, not wanting to draw attention to the fact we were in there.

"Are you okay?" I asked, resting against the wall beside the door.

"Yeah, why wouldn't I be?" she pressed, her words coming out quickly.

I opened my mouth, but paused to take a good look at her. She didn't look sick; her cheeks were a little rosy, but I knew that was most likely due to the weather outside.

"You came into school late," I answered, clearing my throat afterward.

She shook her head and waved the book I'd obviously missed in her hands. "No, I just ran out to grab this real quick. I took my own car this morning as I had to drop something off at the post office for Dad. I didn't want to bother Em with it."

She was rambling, which kind of made me smile. She seemed almost nervous being alone in here with me, which was ridiculous. Yet every time she looked up at me through her lashes, I felt that jolt in my chest that made me want to reach for her.

"Have you been avoiding me?" I asked, giving into temptation to reach out and tuck a few stands of her behind her ear.

"What makes you think I've been ignoring you?" she said slowly, her tongue sweeping between her lips.

I chuckled humourlessly. "Oh I don't know, probably because you've hardly spoken a word to me since the weekend."

"Yeah, so?" she mumbled, her cheeks still flushed from the cold. I wanted to warm them with my hands.

"What do you mean '_so'?_" I pressed, brows furrowed. It had been bothering me all week, not being able to see her, yet the way she sounded right then, made it sound like it really hadn't made much of a difference to her at all.

"Exactly that," she responded, pushing her hair away from her face as it fell forward again.

I was starting to feel angry, and confused at why I should give such a shit. "Are you still pissed over what happened last week or something?"

The words came out sharper than I'd meant them to. However, when I saw her impassive expression shift to another more familiar expression, I didn't regret it. She was glaring up at me, the sight so welcome from the looks she'd been wearing recently. It showed something other than despondency.

"Well, are you?" I pushed, increasingly becoming impatient.

Her face lifted to the ceiling as she covered it with her hands. "Are you kidding me right now?" she said on a laugh. "Not everything is about you, Edward!"

My hands found the warmth of my pockets as I leaned my head back against the wall. "Evidently," I mumbled to myself, though still loud enough for her to hear.

"I don't want to talk about this any more," she said abruptly, turning to face me. She reached for the door handle, but I was quicker, and stepped in front of her to block her way.

"Well I do," I told her, looking into incensed brown.

Her lips parted in her astonishment. "Jesus, did you not just listen to a thing I said?" she shouted, pushing at my chest.

I placed my hands atop of hers, feeling her skin cold beneath mine. "Why won't you talk to me?"

Her eyes narrowed. "Please, it's not _talking_ you care about, and we both know it," she replied. We both stood there, angry stares exchanged, before her hands started moving down my chest and stomach, pausing at the waistband of my trousers, trying to prove a point.

"Don't," I gritted out, pulling her hands away. "It's not about that."

"Then what's it about, Edward? Hmm? Because apart from _that_, there is nothing else. You've made it clear to me so many times I've lost count." Her eyes had turned sad, which was such a contrast to the tone of words leaving her mouth.

"Fuck me," I sighed, pinching the bridge of my nose. "You're infuriating."

She focused her attention to the floor and laughed bitterly. "We've already been there. You didn't want to, remember?"

_Is she serious right now?_

I took her face between my palms, coaxing her to look at me. "You don't know what I do or don't want."

"And why's that? Oh yeah, because you never want to talk. You simply touch and take and avoid anything serious," she replied in exasperation, her mouth a hard line.

"That's because this isn't a relationship!" I snapped, instantly regretting my words. However, before I had time to take them back, she was speaking and pulling away.

"Yeah, no, you're right," she said, her eyes not leaving mine as she took another step backward. "I was being stupid. Ignore me."

Just as I reached for her, wanting to explain, the door opened abruptly. Mrs. Cope looked between us both, glasses perched on the end of her nose as she peered over the lenses.

"What are you two doing in here? Shouldn't you both be in class?" She wasn't wanting an answer; she knew very well where we were meant to be. Instead, she simply waved a wrinkled hand out into the hallway, our signal to leave.

With one last look my way, Bella walked after her, leaving me alone in the grey.

The cafeteria was filled with the smell of fries cooking in the kitchen, which had Lauren and Jessica complaining around the table. I rolled my eyes and dipped a few fries into my ketchup, tempted to wag them in their faces.

Tanya was sitting on my left side, munching an apple. She didn't want to eat anything big in case she got bloated, and that just wouldn't work with her dress - her words, not mine.

"I don't know what people see in her," Jessica grumbled out of the blue, not indicating who she was referring to. Jane, however, nodded in agreement.

"What?" Tanya asked, obviously not liking being left out of the loop.

"Isabella Swan," Jane said with a tilt of her head to where I knew she was currently sitting.

"I guess she's cute in a mousy, plain sort of way," Lauren interjected, shrugging before looking at her cousin.

I turned my head towards Tanya to see her blue eyes already focused on me. "Yeah, she's pretty," she said, turning away again. "It looks like James thinks so anyway."

Now it was my turn to look to where my family sat, and sure enough, there was James, his arm around the back of Bella's chair. I wanted to break it.

"Whatever," Victoria muttered, getting up from the table to storm out of the room. I couldn't help feeling a little sorry for her, even if most of the time she deserved the negative situations that came her way.

"Do you think anything is going on between them?" Jane wondered, leaning closer to the table as if she were about to hear something juicy.

I couldn't stop my knee from bouncing while Lauren starting adding fuel to the fire.

"Yeah, he's always hanging around her," she said with a flick of her hair. "Wouldn't surprise me. She seems the type, you know? Quiet... but not really like that."

"Oh my God, yes," Jessica voiced, nodding swiftly. "Like, when she attacked me in gym. She's totally shady."

I felt Tanya's chair shift closer to mine, her thigh now pressed against my own. As I turned my head to watch her eyes rake from my chest to my face, I was reminded again of just how attractive she was. The appeal was there, but the desperation... _need,_ wasn't.

I focused back on my food, unable do anything but sit there and listen to them speak untruths – it was better to just let them get it out of their systems.

If I said what I wanted, what I was truly feeling, I'd be showing my hand of cards for all of them to see.

OoOoO

"Fuck I hate ties," I mumbled to myself as I knotted the thing. It was grey, to match the silver of Tanya's dress; I'd refused to wear anything that sparkled.

I disliked suits in general, mainly because I thought anyone under the age of twenty-one looked ridiculous in them. They made you feel like a little boy dressed up to go to an awful family wedding or some shit. And then you had to have your picture taken wearing said suit just to capture the crappy moment.

Esme had albums full of me and Em in suits from when we were younger, the only difference being that I smiled in some... and no longer had the missing teeth. Of course, after I'd learned that shiny shoes and smart trousers weren't suitable for climbing trees in, I immediately hated them. It had stuck, the tree climbing as well apparently.

With one last look in the mirror, I slipped my keys into my pocket and closed the door behind me.

Alice and Rose were just leaving her room as I came to the second floor. They both looked nice, although I wasn't happy about the low cut back in Alice's dress.

"Make sure you wear one of those scarf... wrap things," I told her as I went to walk past them.

"You look nice girls. _Why thank you Edward, so do you_," Alice rambled off in different voices meant to imitate us both.

I rolled my eyes and turned to face them. "You both look nice," I sighed, messing with my tie again. _Stupid thing._

"Aww, is someone nervous?" Rose teased, laughing at the expression on my face. "Can't say I blame you. Tanya is pretty awful."

Alice sniggered as I cut her a glare. "I'm not nervous," I snapped. "I just don't like these types of events. They're cheesy."

It was true, I wasn't nervous. In fact, I was dreading the whole night; from having to go somewhere I didn't want to go, to having to see Bella dance with someone other than me. Not that I really danced. I mean, Esme had taught us the basic steps, but again, that whole slow dancing thing before you were out of high school came into play, just like the suit business. I simply didn't see the point in it.

We walked down the remaining stairs, both of them continuing to tease me until we got to the kitchen. Mom smiled at us as soon as we entered, a camera already in her hands. _Fucking great._

Dad was home for the evening, and cast me an amused glance as I started fidgeting with my tie for the seemingly hundredth time today. Yes, I had to wear one for school, but that was a uniform. This shit was different.

"Where's Em?" I asked as I took a coke from the fridge. The can opened with a angry fizz, the contents threatening to spill over onto my suit; I quickly bent my head and took a few big gulps to stop from getting it all over me.

A hand slapped at my back suddenly, making me choke, resulting in a coughing fit. I swung around, meeting Emmett's grinning face.

"Jesus!" I cursed, my eyes squinted and filled with water. "What the fuck was that for?"

"Edward! Language!" Esme scolded, tutting as she adjusted something on Alice's dress. I mumbled a 'sorry' and jabbed Em in the side on the sly.

"Jackass," I hissed lowly, smirking as he rubbed the spot below his ribs.

He ignored me and looked from my can, to my suit, back to my face. "Coke exploded on you, huh?" he voiced, his voice filled with false sympathy. "That's some bad luck." He was grinning again, which immediately sparked suspicion, and as soon as I heard choked laughter coming from behind me, sounding a lot like Jasper, I knew that luck had nothing to do with it. They'd both tampered with the cans.

I went to punch him again, but this time he anticipated it and got out of the way.

"Edward, don't hit your brother please," Esme sighed, shaking her head. I took another mouthful of my drink and gave Jasper the death stare when he could no longer hold in his laughter.

I tried to stay pissed off, but I soon found my lips twitching into a smile; his laugh was too infectious to ignore.

"I'll get my own back," I stated with confidence. "Just you wait and see."

"Yeah..." he smiled, evidently not caring.

"What time did you say Bella would be over, Sweetie? I want to take photos of all of you?" Mom asked Alice, looking over Dad's shoulder at what he was currently reading. She pressed a kiss to his cheek as she stood straight once more.

"Um, she should be here soon, actually," Alice replied, taking a peek at the clock behind her.

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. "What? She and Jacob are coming _here_?" I questioned, disbelief colouring my tone. _Un-fucking-believable._

Rose shook her head. "No, she's coming by for photos, then picking him up after." She smoothed down her dress and started rummaging through her purse. "Thank God," she added as an afterthought.

I couldn't agree with her more.

My hands relaxed out of their tight grip on my can as I set in onto the counter. I knew I wouldn't have been able to handle it if she brought him by again.

"I need to get going," I sighed, not wanting to leave, yet, not wanting to stay either. My mother frowned, obviously unimpressed by my plans not to wait for the other person set for pictures.

"Now?" she questioned, not hiding her disappointment.

I shrugged. "Yeah. I'm already going to be late as it is." I didn't add that I didn't want to be here when Bella arrived. I couldn't see her in that dress knowing it was all for someone else.

"Okay. Well, let me get some shots of you quickly now, then," she said, ushering me into the lounge by the tree. She said it would make the picture look more festive.

After taking a couple of me by myself, the others joined me in getting blinded - the flash on that camera was crazy.

I blinked back the spots in my eyes, thankful when I could see again without the irritating colours marring my vision.

"Can I go now?" I pleaded, running my fingers through my hair.

Esme came to kiss my head before shooing me off, reminding me to get a photo of Tanya for her to add to whatever album these shots would be trapped in. As-fucking-if. I didn't want a photo of her anywhere in my house.

I passed Carlisle on the way to the door, knowing he wouldn't just let me go without a word or two.

"I won't be home too late and I won't disturb any of the neighbours," I listed before he'd even opened his mouth.

He frowned, looking troubled. "I was going to say have fun."

_Oh._ "OK, well thanks," I mumbled, feeling a little awkward. I rocked back on my heels before heading for the door.

"Drive safe. And no drinking!" he shouted after me.

I smiled. "Yeah, I got it," I replied before walking out into the cold.

Lauren's mother opened the door after about two seconds of my knocking. She was blonde just like her daughter, but her eyes were hazel instead of blue. Also the rack that she had pushed out in offering like candy at Halloween kind of set them apart. The way she eyed me as she invited me in left me with no doubt that she was a regular cruiser in cougar town.

Tyler was already there when I arrived, handing out a closed fist for me to hit as if we were buddies. Yeah, right. I said hi, not wanting to appear rude in front of Lauren's father who looked like he wanted to strangle Tyler with his bare hands. He was a big fucker too; I was suddenly thankful Tanya's parents were... elsewhere.

Tanya and Lauren were still getting ready, so I sat between Tyler and Mrs. Mallory, wishing there was something stronger in the drink I had in my hands, instead of the water I'd agreed to.

They finally descended the stairs after the most painful twenty minutes of my life. Tanya looked pretty, as did Lauren, even with the amount of orangey shit on her cheeks. I kept my opinions to myself, and bit the inside of my cheek to stop myself from laughing when Tyler commented that Lauren looked _hot_. I thought her father's head was going to explode from the shade of puce it had turned.

"Can we leave now?" I whispered to Tanya as I plastered a fake smile on my face.

"Yeah," she assured me, taking me in.

"Thank fuck," I breathed, turning around to wave politely at her aunt and uncle before practically jogging to the car. I held the door open for Tanya, waving my hand for her to get in. Anything to speed up the process.

"Your uncle's pretty scary," I smirked, glimpsing sideways at her as I turned up the heat.

She rolled her eyes and laughed. "He's one of the most stupid men on the planet."

I raised a brow, but didn't need to ask why as she had already started to continue. "He still thinks Lauren's as innocent as the day she was born. And I doubt he knows his wife is cheating on him with Mrs. Cope's son who's recently moved back here."

"Wait, Mrs. Cope... as in our school secretary with the red hair and giant glasses?"

"That's the one."

"Huh," I snorted, my first impressions of her not far off the mark.

There was a paused silence where neither of us presumably knew what to say.

"I'm glad it's stopped raining," she commented, shifting in her seat to get a better look at me in the darkness of the car, and in turn breaking the quiet.

"Yeah," I agreed, turning left towards the school.

She held her hands out to the source of the hot air blowing out in front of us. "You look good in a suit," she complimented, her hand brushing the sleeve of my jacket as it returned to her lap.

"Yeah? Well I hate wearing them," I explained, giving all my reasons why just for something to say.

By the time we'd pulled into the school parking lot, there were only a few spots available. It looked like most people were already here, including Em and Co. as I spotted the Jeep near the front of the building.

The music was audible from the outside, something cheery and upbeat. As we waited, I couldn't stop myself from looking for Bella's car. Was she already here?

However, I didn't time to dawdle on it as Tyler's car swept by, parking in a spot a few spaces down from me, both he and Lauren immediately coming to meet us by the doors. They walked in ahead of us, the warmth of the room hitting us as soon as we stepped inside.

It was exactly as Alice had described - a winter wonderland. Glittering stars hung from the ceiling, along with other shiny lengths of fabric. There was a brightly lit tree in the corner of the room, and even a shitty drink fountain in the shape of a dolphin. What the fuck an aquatic animal had to do with Christmas, I didn't know.

I didn't know what we were supposed to do now that we'd arrived, as I sure as hell wasn't going to dance all night. Thankfully there were tables dotted around the sides of the room, which happened to hold a lot of Tanya's group and their dates.

"Do you want something to drink?" I asked as we made our way towards them. She nodded and pointed over to where she would be.

As soon as she turned her back I blew air into my cheek and went about getting us some of the suspicious looking red liquid that looked like the weakest kool-aid on the planet. The ladle was sticky as I poured the contents into some paper cups with Santa faces printed on them, my eyes immediately searching for a napkin.

I grimaced and wiped my hands, noticing Jazz twirling Alice about the room, her laughter only just audible in the mass of others' voices and giggling.

Tanya had saved me a seat beside her, to which I slid into, careful not to spill anything.

"Thanks," she expressed, blowing me a kiss. I tried not to wince, not wanting to cause a scene.

A look of longing, and then thunder, passed over Victoria's features; it didn't take a genius to figure out why. I heard Laurent's voice before I saw either of them. James was accompanied by Carmen, just like he'd said. Laurent however had come alone... well, not alone, just without a date. He was always acting as James' shadow; I guess a dance made no exception to that.

"Hello beautiful people," Laurent greeted as he chose a seat opposite me. James and Carmen sat next to him, whispering and laughing between each other while Victoria looked like she wanted to pull her hair out. Instead, she poured something from a small silver flask into her paper cup, no guesses as to what she had inside it.

Rose wrinkled her nose as she walked past the table, making me smirk. Jessica however didn't find it funny.

"Bitch," she muttered, incredibly lucky Rose hadn't heard her. I was keeping that little tid-bit for later in case things got dull.

I sat back in my seat, ignoring the conversation as I sipped my drink. That was until someone shouted at me.

"Edward!" I turned towards the direction my voice was being called from, seeing Em waving me over to where he was stood with Jazz and Alice.

I held up a hand, motioning I'd be over in a minute, and whispered to Tanya that I'd be right back. She paused mid sentence, her blue eyes meeting mine as she gave a quick glance around the room.

"Oh?" she questioned, switching legs to cross her right one over her left.

"Em called me," I explained, getting to my feet. If she had a problem with it, tough shit. There was no chance I was going to sit and listen to whose dress was 'gross' or 'too short' all night long. I'd lose brain cells... or tell them all they looked awful so they'd leave to go change. Come to think of it, that really wasn't that bad of an idea...

Tanya getting to her feet brought my attention back to the present. "I'll come with you," she shrugged, looping her arm though mine.

"You don't have to, I'll only be gone a minute," I told her, kind of wishing she would stay there.

She asked Jessica to mind her purse before turning away. "No, it's fine, I don't mind."

I gave a half smile in reply as we walked towards Em, who started patting Alice's head as she scowled, which earned him a scowl of his own.

"Having fun, guys?" Em grinned, wrapping his arm around Rose as she joined us.

I didn't get to reply as Tanya spoke up. "I like your dress," she commented, looking at Alice.

Rose raised a brow as she looked her up and down before turning to Alice, eager to see how she'd respond.

"Thanks," she smiled, unknown to Tanya that it was as false as our grandfather's teeth. "Yours is very... festive. Matches the decorations."

If Tanya took offense, she didn't let it show. At all. "Yeah, I liked the silver," she smiled, her gaze fixed on my sister before eyeing Rose. She appeared surprised.

"Oh, I didn't see you there," Tanya expressed as Rose rolled her eyes.

"Sure you didn't," she laughed. "Just like I'm sure you didn't realize that shade of red on your lips is designed for hook-"

Em placed his hand over her mouth before she could finish.

Before any of us could react to what had just happened, Alice burst in with her excitement. "Oh, look! Bella's just arrived."

Jazz immediately brought his fingers to his mouth to whistle, gaining her attention almost instantly.

My mouth suddenly went dry. Bella was in a deep red dress, the light catching the material as she moved. Her hair was down in loose curls, falling across her bare shoulders. I simply couldn't take my eyes off her. She looked beautiful.

I tried not to stare, I really did, but I couldn't stop my gaze from drifting back to her every few seconds. Then I caught sight of who was walking beside her and had to take a calming breath.

Jacob wasn't touching her until she came closer to us, only then did he twine their fingers together. Bella seemed to look uncomfortable, but he shook their joined hands lightly and smiled, transforming the expression on her face to one of ease instead of caution.

She didn't look at me once on the way over; in fact, she peeked at everyone _but_ me.

My hands were twitching in my pockets by the time she reached us, wanting to touch her skin. To me, she outshone any of the other girls here tonight. Even the one who was standing beside me.

"Aww, Jacob, you wore a tie," Alice smiled, rising up on her toes to pat where it lay on his chest. "Good boy."

He cocked a brow and chuckled. "Um, thanks?"

Bella leaned up to whisper something to him, and I couldn't stand the way he was looking at her, eyes intense and adoring.

I turned to Tanya and held my hand out - I needed to get away. "Want to dance?" I asked impulsively, hoping she would want to.

Not disappointing, she smirked and placed her palm in my mine. "I'd love to."

I didn't look back as I directed us to the dance floor.

After the first song had finished – a cheesy pop song that made me want to break the speakers – Tanya quickly excused herself, returning a few minutes later with the red lipstick no longer on her lips. I actually hadn't noticed until she pointed it out, something to do with the colour clashing with the lights on the tree.

I wasn't really listening due to the fact Bella was now dancing with James, his hands seeming to inch lower and lower until they were at the small of her back, dangerously close to her ass.

"Ouch!" Tanya's moan, and the fact she had apparently stopped dancing, grudgingly tore my eyes from them, to her.

"What?" I snapped, the look on her face turning hard.

"You practically just crushed my hand," she replied, voice clipped. But my eyes were already back on James beside us, his hands now thankfully in a safer zone. Tanya followed my gaze, before slowly pulling away again.

"Sorry," I uttered quickly, now satisfied that I didn't have to intervene.

"I'll live," was her response.

It appeared that dancing was as awkward as I predicted, but I tried to forget all the other factors and focus on not squeezing her hand too tightly again. I doubted that would go over too well.

Tanya's head now rested on my shoulder, the smell of whatever was in her hair giving me a headache. My hands were on her waist, the fabric of her dress irritating my skin. In fact, everything about holding her in my arms felt wrong.

"This is nice," she sighed, arms moving to meet behind my neck. "I didn't take you for a dancer, Edward Cullen."

I smirked, her face closer than I'd like. "There's a first for everything I guess."

Her arms tightened around me. "Yeah, there is."

I stared back at her as we moved slowly, wondering what her lips would feel like. Perhaps that was why things felt different with Bella...

Perhaps kissing her had made me feel things that weren't really there.

I could tilt my head forward and press my mouth to hers; nothing was stopping me.

However, I didn't get to make that decision as she'd apparently made it for me.

Her lips were tentative at first, but as I held still, not moving away, she obviously took that as a good sign and applied more pressure.

My hands eventually moved higher, feeling her bare skin at her back as her lips parted. Our tongues met, touching, as fingers grasped my neck.

And the whole time, I felt nothing.

There was no crave to take more. There were no fingers in my hair, pulling. There were no soft whimpers or pleasure-filled groans. My hands weren't greedy, my lungs weren't desperate for air.

It was simply lips against lips... cold and distant and nothing like kissing Bella.

I pulled back, shaking my head. "You know I don't kiss," I said with an anxious swallow.

"But you were," she pressed, hands trailing down my chest. "You kissed me."

My hands found her wrists, gently pulling her arms away. "No, _you_ kissed _me_," I clarified, taking a step back. "I shouldn't have... you just caught me by surprise. I'm sorry."

Her demeanour didn't change once. The was no anger or hurt, no sad eyes. She simply put her hands back on my shoulders as the current song continued to play. It made me nervous.

Yet, as I looked over her shoulder, I was sure I'd met all of those emotions in the form of brown eyes and a pretty red dress.

Bella was dancing with Jacob, but all of her attention was on me – I couldn't look away.

I took a deep breath to stop myself from doing something I'd regret later; had she seen, or was it simply that she disliked the person I was dancing with? And if she had, did she care?

After a moment, she whispered something into Jacob's ear, leaving him to make his way awkwardly to the refreshment table as she disappeared through the inner doors that led to the rest of the school.

Belatedly conscious of where I was, I didn't make a scene or chase after her. I waited until the song was finished before telling Tanya I had to use the bathroom.

Thankfully she didn't question it and went back to the table where her friends sat with a nod and smile, still saying nothing.

I didn't have time to care though, I had someone else who I needed to speak with more.

As I pushed open the doors, I expected to see her on the other side, but of course, that would have been too easy. I walked the length of the corridor, looking through the glass panels in the door, hoping to find her behind one of them.

It wasn't until I opened the doors to the second floor stairwell that I found her.

She was sat on the third step from the bottom, a tissue grasped in her right palm. I couldn't see her face, but as I let the doors close behind me, the noise startled her, her head snapping up.

"What are you doing out here?" I asked stupidly, taking a cautious step towards her.

It didn't surprise me that she got to her feet, intending to walk away and ignore me. I wouldn't let her do that again.

"Stop running away from me!" I groaned loudly, frustration making my words sound curt. "I came to see if you were okay."

She laughed, the sound in no way appearing gleeful. "I'm not upset, if that's what you mean. Far from it."

I felt my brows furrow. "Then why are you crying?"

_Will I ever understand this girl?_

"Because I'm angry!" she shouted, her hands clenched at her sides. "And so, so stupid."

I licked my lips and tried again. "I don't understand," I admitted. She was the one dancing with her boyfriend in front of me. If anyone had a right to be put out, it was me.

"Of course you don't," she cried, looking at me with hate filled eyes. "That's because you're selfish."

"_I'm_ selfish?" I asked incredulously. "I wasn't the one who brought their boyfriend to their... _friend's _house. I wasn't the one who kissed him in front of her _friend's_ family."

Her eyes flashed, brilliant brown. "No, you wait until the whole school can see before you do something like that."

"So you're jealous, is that it?" I pressed, my hands gripping her shoulders.

She shook her head, although I doubted that was a reply to my question. "You have no idea what you've done, do you? What I've done? You live in your perfect little world where everyone does exactly what you want. Well fuck you Edward Cullen. Fuck you!"

Her chest was heaving with angry breaths, cheeks pink. She was perfection in red.

"Don't touch me!" she snapped, pushing me away when I pulled her closer.

"What, and you think I'm not angry?" I laughed bitterly, bending my head to make myself eye level. "Stop making assumptions on things you know nothing about."

She turned her head to the side, stubborn as always. I sighed and pressed my lips to her hair as my hands found her waist.

Unlike Tanya, nothing about Bella being in my arms felt wrong.

My head twisted towards the doorway, sure that I'd heard something. But as I turned slightly panicked eyes to Bella, I found her own closed. She hadn't moved, hadn't indicated that she'd heard anything, so I simply pulled her tighter to me and forgot about it.

Neither of us said any more; there wasn't a need to, words had already been uttered to hurt enough for one night. She eventually fell into me, fingers gripping my suit jacket as she hid her face in my chest.

I didn't know how long we stood like that, but it was definitely long enough for someone to come looking for either one of us.

She must have been thinking the same thing as she lifted her head, her face a mixture of emotions; I wanted to know the reasons behind each one.

"I better go back," she whispered, her voice cracking slightly, the after effects of her tears.

"Don't leave with him," I whispered, keeping her eyes locked with mine.

I hoped they portrayed everything I was feeling, yet couldn't say.

Her eyelids fluttered closed as my palms framed her face, my thumbs slowly caressing her heated skin. I took a step closer and brushed my lips across her closest cheek, and then the other, my mouth moving with my words. "Come home with me."

The fingers grasping the front of my jacket, tightened, pulling me even further to her. I relished in the feeling of her body pressed tightly against mine, wanting nothing more than to stay with her like that for the rest of the night, but knowing I couldn't.

"I can't," she replied, her voice low and apologetic. I pulled back enough to see her expression, understanding instantly.

I knew she would go back to him and leave me here. I knew that what I was proposing wasn't enough. And more than that, I knew that I wanted it to be.

I didn't know how much more I could give before I had nothing let to offer, which only ever left one option. I simply wouldn't be able to keep her. And it would be all of my own doing.

She pressed a light kiss against my jaw before I watched her walk away from me for the second time that day.

By the time I'd reached the gym again, Bella was nowhere to be seen. All I wanted to do now was go home myself.

Tanya was still sitting where I'd left her, laughing and joking with Carmen. "Are you ready to leave yet?" I asked her, sitting down beside her. She jumped, her hand clutching at her chest.

"God, you scared me," she breathed. "Surely you haven't been in the bathroom all this time?" she questioned, eyes searching my face for clues she wouldn't find.

"No, I went outside for a little air; it's too hot in here," I lied, struggling with the top button of my shirt for added effect.

"Perhaps you're coming down with something," she offered, looking at the time on her phone. "And you want to leave now? It's still pretty early; I was hoping we could stay a little longer."

I scratched my head and sighed. "Okay. I'm just going to go and get another drink. Do you want one?"

"No, I'm good," she replied, indicating to a cup.

As I was scooping some of the liquid out of the fountain – someone had drawn a mustache on the dolphin's face and given it boobs - I spotted James had returned to the table.

Not wanting to deal with him – it looked like he'd been drinking something other than kool-aid from the way he practically fell into his seat - I did something that I knew would come back to bite me in the ass one way or another.

"Hey Tyler!" I shouted, loud enough so he could hear me over the music.

He turned to me, pink stuff smudged on his cheek. "Yeah, man?"

"Would you be able to take Tanya home when you drop Lauren off?" I asked. "I'm not feeling too good - I'm just going to head home."

"Sure," he shrugged.

"I'll make sure to tell her," Lauren interjected, telling me she hoped I'd feel better soon with a big smile on her face.

I expressed my thanks and left, breathing a sigh of relief once I got into my car and headed for home.

Em's Jeep still wasn't back when I pulled into the driveway, and I realized I hadn't even looked for them before I'd left.

I closed the car door with a quiet click, mindful not to make any more noise than possible; I didn't want Carlisle's annoyance on top of everything else that had already happened today.

I took the outside steps two at a time, pausing briefly at the top, debating whether to have a cigarette before heading in.

Looking up at the dark sky, my breath already visible, I decided against it. Figuring sleep was far more important right then, I pressed down on the handle and stepped inside.

Something immediately felt off, and as I fumbled for the lamp on my bedside table, slowly bathing the room in a soft glow, I found out why.

Someone was sitting on the edge of my couch, the light once again catching their dress.

Bella hadn't left me tonight after all, she'd simply been waiting.

* * *

**Reviews will get a teaser for the next chapter.**

**This weeks recs are:**

**'On Grey Mornings' by littlesecret84 - I always love her Bella's. So good.**

**'Branching Inward' by LifeInTheSnow. This story is fairly new, so please give it a read and see what you think.**

**and 'Blame It On Rio' by DoUTrustMe - so funny. The first few paragraphs may leave you a little, "omg, whaa?" at first, but trust me, not all is as it seems.**

**Thanks so much for reading. VHL xx**


	29. Chapter 29

**Hey everyone! As always, thank you so much for all your reviews and alerts. It means a lot.**

**Thanks to my wonderful beta Susan. She is awesome and even makes me t-shirts. I love her.**

**Thanks to jedigirlsc for prereading. She's like my ray of sunshine.**

**Thanks so much to littlecat358 for rec'ing this story to her readers in her last chapter.**

**And lastly thank you to sunfeathers and xrxdanixrx who always know how to put a smile on my face.**

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns Twilight. However, she doesn't own this flapjack I'm eating. I'd know what I'd be more envious of. ;)**

* * *

Bella

The night was cold on my cheeks as I stood on the bottom step that led to Edward's room. I had no idea what I was doing there, but as soon as the key had touched the lock of my own front door, I knew I couldn't enter.

Nothing physical had been stopping me - the key would fit and turn - it was simply that I wouldn't find what I now knew I wanted inside. It had left me in limbo, caged outside with the trembling branches and half-moon. I didn't know what I'd stumble onto if I left to follow the invisible strings tugging at my heart, my footprints left behind in blackened ice as I let them lead me – I'd merely reasoned with myself that there was nothing in front of me but darkened rooms and deafening silence.

There was a chance I'd feel more alone _there,_ than in my own room with its familiar blanket that lay strewn across the end of my bed, but hope lay in those four walls that didn't belong to me. If I'd ignored the tugging, I would have locked the door behind it, refusing it entry, which meant that everything that had happened before tonight had been worthless.

That thought had left me more alone than either of the other two options.

So I'd walked slowly yet determinedly across the lawns, mindful of the gravel that would crunch beneath my feet and give noise to my already weakening resolve.

I knew he wasn't home, that he wouldn't be inside; his car was missing from the driveway. I'd left the dance early, yet later than originally planned. To be honest, I'd pretty much decided that I wouldn't be going to the thing at all.

And then I'd found Jacob waiting for me in the kitchen upon my return home from school on Tuesday.

He'd been sitting at the table with Charlie, nursing a cup of hot chocolate while Dad drained the remaining coffee from his mug.

Charlie had been quick to leave, muttering about having to work on something in the garage, yet not saying what.

He'd more than likely sensed the abrupt unease in the room, and at the time that hadn't surprised me. What had surprised me, however, was that Jacob was there at all.

I'd been so nervous while looking into his open eyes, not knowing what I'd see. But there was no hostility, none of the anguish that had been there only days before. His smile had been a little sad, but then that was expected. My own hadn't made an appearance for days either.

"Jacob," I said, my voice thick with longing for my friend to forgive me for reasons he knew nothing of. "What are you doing here?"

His face blanched, flinching a little, and I understood how that could have sounded. "Not that I'm unhappy to see you," I'd added hastily, hands moving in my panic. "I'm just a little surprised."

His face relaxed from its previous expression, his hand rubbed at his eyebrows. "I've had time to think," he'd started, blowing out a breath. "I just... we were friends first, and that's more important than all the other... _stuff._ So here I am."

His words had caused my self-inflicted wounds to smart even more than they already had been.

I moved to sit across the table from him, careful not to touch his hands resting atop the wood. I hadn't been sure he was ready for that yet. But of course, he was still the same Jacob, and had wasted no time in reaching over to give my fingers a squeeze.

"What happened changes nothing, Bella," he'd told me, his tone conveying his truth. "I'll just have to remember to keep my lips and hands in 'friend only' zones."

That brought back the tension again, not that I was sure it had ever left.

"Sorry," he expressed with a shake of his head. "I didn't mean..."

What he had yet to realize was that he had nothing to be sorry for, only ever apologies to gain.

"I know. It's fine," I told him with a small smile, trying to make him _see_ without having to give away my wrongs. I was too scared.

"Plus, I promised a certain someone I'd go to a dance with them," he grinned, my eyes widening with his words. "If you still want to go with me, that is," he'd quickly rattled off after observing my surprise.

"No, yeah, I do," I insisted, letting out a long breath. "Thank you."

I couldn't tell told him _no_. Not after everything I'd done behind his back.

He'd merely gripped my hand tighter and given voice to a word that lately, I had been anything but. "What are friends for?"

I'd made him another cocoa after his had gone cold, the steam of the kettle fogging up the window pane behind it. I used my sleeve to wipe away the condensation, and immediately wished I hadn't. It reflected his form, his face obscure like looking out at rainy days. The condensation started to trickle, reminding me of visions that blurred before falling with tears, much like mine had done days before.

I understood that while I may have let him go, the guilt was still with me, weighing me down like snow on the smallest tree branch.

I filled the kettle again with the pretense of there not being enough water for two, and watched the glass fog once more.

And now I was here, gripping the sides of my dress, my breath shaky as I stared at the steps in front of me. I couldn't stay out here all night, that wasn't an option. I'd made a decision... I had to stop second guessing everything or I'd become completely lost. With a brief pause to take a deep breath, I exhaled slowly and went on up.

His door was unlocked, which I stupidly hadn't even thought about. It could have been locked, just like so many of Edward's feelings. I was tired of being shut out.

I stepped inside and quietly closed the door behind me.

The room, thankfully, wasn't pitch black inside. The curtains were open, the small amount of light from outside making it able for me to find the sofa without tripping and alerting someone in the house to my being here. I didn't want to force a lie to Edward's parents on top of everything else. I'd been lying enough lately.

Once seated on the cool leather, I closed my eyes, willing myself not to change my mind and run.

I thought back to earlier this evening when I walked through a different door of this house.

Alice had insisted I go over for photos before collecting Jacob, wanting everyone to be together. I was nervous, mostly due to Edward being there, but of course, he'd been absent. He had a date to get to... a date that had evidently been much more appealing than catching a glimpse of me in my dress.

I wanted to look pretty... I wanted him to notice me, and not simply because of the red fabric wrapped around my body. I wanted him to think I could be an exception to his rules, which of course had proved just how silly I truly was.

When Jacob and I arrived at the dance, I was confused and anxious. He'd been the one to tell me I looked pretty, not Edward, as I'd wanted. It was Jacob's hand that had held mine as we made our way to my friends, and it was Tanya who had been standing beside Edward, not me.

At the time, I hadn't even been able look at him for fear of seeing something on his face I'd recognize. That something being that he didn't care.

We'd argued only that morning, and soon, enough would become enough. For both of us. I had been avoiding him, he'd been right, but not because of the reasons he thought. Every time I spotted him in the hallway or lunch room, I wanted to tell him I was a free agent. But then I'd see him talking with Tanya or Jessica and I'd think, _what is the point?_ _He won't care about that. It won't change anything._ I even started to believe that the only reason he'd been with me in the first place, was to somehow get one over Jacob. It was no secret that they disliked each other... it would have been the perfect opportunity for him.

And that thought had only burned brighter when I saw him kiss Tanya. In front of everyone. It hurt so much more than I thought possible.

I'd wanted to look away, at anything else, but my eyes had refused to tear themselves from the sight of them. He'd told me it was something he didn't do, which made me think it was _maybe_ special when he kissed me, but I'd obviously been _wanting_ it to be true, rather than it actually being so. Fantasies, when mixed with the harsh realities of our lives, became cruel.

A hard lump formed in my throat, so big I thought I'd be unable to take a breath, all resulting from holding back tears that were wanting an out.

Jacob had been oblivious, facing the opposite direction, unaware of the scene behind him that had my chest tightening. It was the only positive thing in that moment – he didn't need to see my attempts at trying to keep it together while someone he didn't know I cared for kissed another.

I'd watched until they'd broken apart, talked, and moved once more into each others arms. And then Edward had looked right at me, his green eyes intense and... _different_. I'd been unable to deal with that look, unable to contemplate what that meant. Unable to think that he might actually like _her._

So I ran... but not in the literal sense. I'd told Jacob I needed the bathroom, and walked as calmly as I could manage out of the double doors to the main part of the school, away from ever-changing lights and hurtful images of lips on lips.

I should have known he'd find me. As soon as I was in that stairwell, the tears had immediately started to fall – I was struggling with the emotions coursing through me. It made me so angry. I hated to cry in general, but over a boy - who had just proved cared nothing for me - was so much worse.

He'd been so obtuse, and his lack of thoughtfulness made me think he really was heartless. I would never have purposely kissed Jacob in front of him like that. Sure, he'd witnessed Jacob kissing _me_ the week before, but I had not... would _never,_ have initiated it. And in front of the whole school as well... it had simply been too much.

And then he held me tightly and confused me even more. It was always back and forth with him, never stationary. When he was with me like that, it felt so easy, and I loved it. But as soon as others were in touching distance he'd break away and become as distant and unreachable as the sun.

The moment had ended all too soon, and I was once again in the presence of the boy with honest eyes that wanted things I couldn't give. I made excuses as I always did, his hand at my shoulder as he guided me out the doors for some air. He hadn't questioned my lies when I spoke about feeling tired and unwell, he'd been all concern and understanding as he suggested we leave. I deserved none of it.

Especially considering my heart lay with someone else.

My lashes fluttered as my eyes drifted open, finding bright numbers on the digital clock across from me. I didn't even know if Edward would be coming home, or whether he would - I blinked heavily - whether he would spend the remaining hours away from this house.

The longer I waited, the more anxious I became. I had to press my hands to my knees so I wouldn't be tempted to start fidgeting, which in turn made me want to all the more.

And then I heard tires on gravel and my eyes widened as I held my breath for a sign... _voices_ of who it might be. One door closed, my body alert and listening for another. It never came. Then footsteps started, but stopped, quiet taking over once more.

My pulse was loud in my ears. _Oh God, what if it's not Edward? It can't be Alice or any of the others, they all went together..__**.**_

I was freaking out, not at all comforted when I heard the footsteps begin once more as whoever it was started ascending the steps outside the doors.

My lip became caught between my teeth as the person stepped inside, the outline of their form visible. It was a _he. _And then I didn't need to see the face to know who it was. I no longer felt scared, just nervous. The fear had gone and was replaced with a new kind - the unknown. _Will he care that I'm here? Will he be angry that I've invaded his privacy when I know how much he hates it? _I shouldn't have come.

There was hesitation in his movements, low mutterings as he fumbled at something, and then the room was awash with soft light from his bedside lamp.

I blinked at the sudden intrusion, my eyes fighting to stay open after sitting in the dark for the past hour or so. Maybe shorter. I wasn't sure.

He was eyeing me in surprise... with something else mixed in there along with the green.

"Bella," he voiced slowly, eyes still not leaving mine. "What are you doing here?"

And there was the million dollar question. _Why am I really here?_

I took a deep breath and wet my lips, my fingers twined together on my lap. "I don't know," I answered honestly, shifting in my seat. "I just didn't seem to want to go home, and then I found myself walking over here to -"

_To what?_

He was still staring..**.**

"To see you, I guess. I wanted to see you," I finished. Apprehension coloured my tone as I spoke, my heart beating faster.

The fingers of his right hand pushed through his hair, making the already wayward strands stick out further.

"How long have you been here?" Oh God, was he annoyed? I started picking imaginary lint off my dress.

"Um, about an hour, I think."

"And Jacob's... where?" he asked, regarding me curiously as he moved a little closer to where I was sitting.

I got to my feet, not comfortable with sitting while he was standing, threatening to loom over me. "He's at home," I answered simply, focusing on the shelves above his desk.

"Oh," was his reply. _Seriously, that's all he has to say?_

This was the time to tell him Jacob and I were no longer together, but I was nervous, my mouth refusing to cooperate.

I walked over to his collection of music, staring blankly at all the different titles. "Where's Tanya?" I queried, my hand pausing on the edge of the unit as I waited for his answer.

"She's still at the dance," he sighed, his voice closer than I thought. _What?_

I swung around to face him, surprised. "So why are _you_ here?"

Sure, it was his home, but why would he leave without his date? It didn't make any sense.

He looked away. "I wasn't feeling well," he shrugged, hands in his pockets.

I took a cautious step forward and pressed my hand to his forehead. He didn't feel warm, or too cold. His temperature seemed normal.

His gaze returned to my face, trying to trap me with the ensnaring green of his eyes.

"I'll go then and leave you to rest," I mumbled quickly, biting the inside of my cheek. I was so stupid for coming over here.

I went to turn away, but his hand caught my wrist, halting me immediately. "No, Bella don't go," he said, reaching for my other hand. "I'm fine, truly."

"But you just said-"

"I know what I said," he snapped, his tone catching me off guard.

My throat felt tight – I was always making mistakes. "I'm sorry for just waiting in here like this. I don't know what I was thinking," I said, my voice full of sarcasm and the reappearing anger I'd felt earlier this evening. And now anger at myself.

He laughed bitterly. "That's right, leave. You're good at running."

"Are you serious right now?" I asked incredulously. "I'm forever giving things up for you, putting you first. If I run, it's only because you make me."

I barely had time to get my words out before he crushed his lips to mine, hard and eager.

When had he become so close? I didn't care. I closed my eyes.

His tongue pushed against my bottom lip, my mouth opening to him. His actions were frantic and needy; they made me feel breathless.

My hands moved to his chest, up, _up_ until they were at the base of his neck, the ends of his hair tickling my fingertips.

"You hurt me tonight," I whispered, grasping his hair tightly between my fingers as I pulled away to catch my breath. "You kissing her... I didn't like it."

He pushed a lock of hair from my face, his touch making me shiver. "I know."

I pushed back the emotions that threatened to make my eyes glassy and pulled his mouth back to mine.

He groaned, low and deep, making me feel warm all over. Then his hands were moving along my back and down to the curve of my ass, pushing me further to him. His lips broke away to pay attention to my throat and chest, grinding into me as he pushed me against his bookcase, the shelving almost painful against my skin – it was worth it.

My breathing was loud, and in any other situation it would have been embarrassing. "I've been wanting to do this all week," he admitted, kissing the spot beneath my ear that made me sigh.

"Ditto," I said so quietly I wasn't sure he'd heard me.

I wasted no time in reaching for his jacket, hastily pushing it from his shoulders and down his arms until it fell to the floor. My mouth found his jaw, small kisses and nips bestowed as I fumbled with every button of his shirt, my hands soon finding warm skin.

Our eyes dropped to my fingers tracing random patterns on his stomach, his chest heaving with my caress. I reached over and kissed the base of his throat, his shoulder, my hands forever touching.

Then something changed... _charged_ to a new intensity. Touches became rougher, more desperate, and I moaned as his hand slipped inside my dress, his palm teasing my nipple. It felt _so_ good.

But I soon got frustrated, the angle of his hand awkward, the dress too close to my skin. I wanted it off.

Taking a grudging step backward, I reached behind me for the zipper, my cheeks warm as my eyes slowly raised to his. He was watching me, eyes dark and intense, lips red from my kisses.

The silky material slid from my body, landing in a pool at my feet. I slid off my shoes, feeling ridiculous with them still on, and toed my dress aside. I was bare except for a pair of cotton underwear, simple and girlie. I suddenly wanted to cover myself back up.

"Don't," he breathed, shaking his head, his expression unexpectedly soft as I looked to the floor. "You're beautiful."

Those words made me feel so much... and my own three words - that would have him run if voiced out loud - suddenly came into bloom... I felt as if I couldn't breathe.

_I love you._

Despite the comfort and feeling they were meant to express, they terrified me. Mainly because I knew he'd never say them back.

Hands were at my face, tilting so I'd make eye contact with him once more. Did he realize what I was suggesting? And if he understood, would he reject me again? I didn't think I could stand it if he did.

Silent thoughts became exchanged in searching stares, dark green and brown, yet shining. His hands dropped from my face to take my hands, leading me forward. I went willingly.

Something had obviously changed, but I wasn't going to question it in case he changed his mind.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" he queried, his expression turning serious. I nodded slowly, squeezing his fingers.

"I'm sure," I said without hesitation, lowering myself to his bed. "You do want me, right?"

"Yeah," he said without hesitation, his voice gravelly.

I wanted it to be him, even though I knew it would mean so much more to me. But at that moment, I'd take anything he gave me.

He took a deep breath and closed his eyes briefly, almost seeming as if he were nervous. I didn't want him to be.

I reached for the button of his trousers, startling him out of his own musings, his body stiffening slightly. I didn't look up... couldn't, and continued to disrobe him, his body eventually relaxing.

He helped me pull them off him until he matched my state of undress, but didn't make a move to join me. Instead, he went over to lock the balcony doors and draw the curtains, before moving to the bedroom door to do the same.

I sat there, anxious, but not because I was regretting my decision. More because he was finally agreeing. I was making no sense.

I watched as he slowly came back to me, sitting beside me on the bed.

"Are you nervous?" he asked, looking at me through dark lashes.

"A little," I answered honestly. "But I want it to be you."

His expression changed as he ran a finger down my cheek, swallowing heavily before leaning forward to press his lips to mine.

This was what I wanted as I fell backward, him forward, his tongue in my mouth, his skin on mine. It was too much yet not enough.

My legs parted, wanting to feel him _there_, moaning quietly when his hardness brushed against me.

He started to move, hips grinding into mine, his breath harsh against my cheek as he groaned. "You feel so good."

I whimpered, my hands grasping his shoulders as I moved against him, his lips leaving a trail down to my breasts, paying attention to each one with licks and small bites. Then his hand was inside my underwear, teasing me, before removing them completely.

"Oh God," I expressed as his fingers touched me in the right place, applying more and more pressure.

My breathing was laboured as I stared at the ceiling, my body a mass of feeling. Then I felt him circling my entrance, slowly pushing a finger inside me, and then another. My back arched in pleasure as I grasped the sheet beneath me, twisting cotton.

"Edward," I breathed as he continued to move his hand, his mouth sucking the underside of my breast. _Fuck..._

I came apart, my legs stiffening as my orgasm hit, pleasure and tingles assaulting my body.

His mouth never left my form, just moved, lips on my chest, then throat... my lips. I cupped his face, completely sated, expressing thanks in languid brushes of my tongue against his. His mouth was warm and wet – I could carry on kissing him for hours.

Suddenly, his body heat was gone, my skin chilling with goosebumps as my eyes fluttered open to see him reaching over to search through the drawers of his beside cabinet.

My breathing started to pick up again – I knew what he was looking for.

He started mumbling to himself as he opened another drawer, a giggle unintentionally slipping from my lips. _You've got to be kidding me..__**.**_

"What's so funny?" he asked, eyes squinted as he looked back at me. The expression was more of amusement than annoyance.

"Do you seriously not have any condoms?" He started searching once more, which just made me laugh harder.

"What kind of boy scout are you? Don't they always teach you to be prepared or something," I smiled, running my hand over the hairs on his arm.

"I'm pretty sure they weren't talking about condoms, Bella," he smirked, rolling his eyes at me. "And I have them in here... somewhere - I just haven't made it a habit of bringing girls to _my bed_... So apologies for them not being right at hand," he mumbled.

I removed my hand from his arm and frowned. "I was only teasing you, Edward," I whispered, glancing sideways at him.

He sighed, long and hard. "I know, I'm sorry, I just really want... _finally_... found them."

He closed the drawer a little too forcefully, the lamp wobbling a little, before hovering back over me. I ran my hands through his hair, squirming slightly from his expression.

"And you're still sure?" he asked, _again_. I sighed and pulled his face closer, staring into his eyes.

"Yes, one hundred percent," I assured. "So stop asking." I smiled softly, stroking the the crease that had formed between his brow with a fingertip, wanting it gone.

His gaze drifted to my mouth, his lips soon following, kissing me hard. My fingers slid into his hair, pulling his mouth even closer as I wrapped my legs around him.

He grunted, pushing his underwear down and off, my feet helping the process. And then I felt him, bare and hard between my legs, and from the way his lips parted as he stared, I was guessing it felt just as good to him too.

I watched him, my cheeks warming as he reached for a foil packet from beside us.

I was tempted to ask him if I could do it, but I'd never touched a condom before, let alone rolled one down a penis. I'd probably end up doing something embarrassing like Drew Barrymore's character in 'Never Been Kissed', and flick him in the eye with it or something. My God, the horror...

He rested himself on his forearms, kissing me briefly before lining himself up. He didn't push into me right away like I expected, instead he gazed at me for a minute or two while he gently stroked my cheek with the backs of his fingers.

"I haven't had any experience with this type of thing, so if I hurt you, tell me right away and I'll stop. Okay?"

I placed my palm over his hand and slid it down so it rested beside my head, just beneath the pillow. "I promise," I said, my heart pounding.

"OK," he said, clearing his throat gently before finally pressing forward.

I immediately arched my neck, the feeling so foreign. It was a lot different than his fingers. The stretching hurt.

He started moving slowly, going a little further with every push, watching my face the whole time. Then he seemed to just _pause,_ before giving a longer thrust forward.

My eyes closed as I winced at the slight pain I felt, but overall it didn't hurt as much as I'd heard it could. More than anything, it was just really uncomfortable.

"Jesus Christ," Edward expressed, his voice strained - his own own eyes closed. "Bella?" I could see how hard he was trying not to move, to let me adjust.

"I'm fine," I said quickly, knowing that's what he was asking. And I really was. I felt so connected to him in that moment – I was his entirely.

His hand moved to my thigh, causing me to shift against him, earning another groan from him. I lifted my hips, encouraging him, my fingers pressing into his arms, urging him to move. He complied.

The pain eventually faded to a dull ache, and it started feeling... different – better. I knew this was probably the best it was going to get with it being my first time, but I wasn't focusing on that. More than anything I wanted him to feel good.

I ran my fingers from his neck, the ends of his damp hair, down to his back, his skin soft. "You can go faster," I breathed, tightening my legs around him.

His thrusts became faster, his breath hitting my lips as he rested his forehead against mine.

His mouth moved to my ear, whispering words that made my skin feel so much warmer than it already was. I wrapped my arms around him, pressing my face into his neck as he changed the angle of his thrusts, his chest brushing against mine again and again.

The pace his hips were keeping increased, his thrusts harder, and suddenly his hands were on my hips, groaning my name as he stilled, the expression on his face one of both pain and pleasure... intense as he found his release.

He collapsed onto me, his weight not unwelcome. His skin was slightly sweaty, but I didn't care; I wrapped my arms around him tighter.

"You okay?" he murmured, his hands sliding softly across the outside of my breasts.

I smiled, suddenly embarrassed, and hid my face in his hair. "Yeah."

We lay there for a while, both sated, his lips kissing my neck every so often.

He eventually lifted his head, and gave me that crooked grin that left me a little dazed. I was sure he knew it too. He planted a kiss on my mouth as he pulled out of me, causing me to wince just a little. Thankfully he hadn't noticed.

I shifted, stretching my legs as he rolled off me to the other side of the bed, presumably to dispose of the condom... and whatever else he had to do.

What was I suppose to do now? I'd never been in this situation before – I didn't want it to be awkward. I wet my lips and sat up slowly, bringing the duvet with me to cover me, and eyed his bathroom door.

"Um, is it okay if I use your bathroom real quick?" I asked hastily, wanting to get cleaned up.

"Help yourself," he said, turning to me as he pulled on his underwear... and nearly losing his balance in the process.

I bit my lip to hold off my grin, but I couldn't help it. I started laughing, falling back onto the bed as his expression set me off further.

He was beside me immediately, pinning my arms above my head so I couldn't cover my face.

"Are you laughing at me?" he asked, a playful glint in his eyes.

"Yeah," I smiled, twining our fingers.

"Wrong answer," he sighed, moving one of his hands down, threatening to tickle my sides.

"You wouldn't," I whispered, gazing up at him, his hair messier than usual.

He smirked, raising a brow at me as he bent his head, his lips hovering over mine. "Oh I would... but I won't. There's something I want to do much more instead."

And with that, he kissed me, gentle this time, slowly. His lips were soft, his touches light, and I loved every single second of it. I always did.

He moved closer, groaning lowly into my mouth, then just as abruptly he pulled away, pressing a kiss to my temple. "Okay, you can use the bathroom now."

I went to get up, grinning like an idiot, before his voice stopped me. "You're staying, right?"

My smile fell – did he want me leave? "Do... do you want me to go?" I whispered, my shoulders stiff.

I thought he looked panicked for a few seconds, but the expression soon dissolved. "No, I want you to stay... here, with me."

"Okay," I breathed, feeling the tension leave my body.

"Okay," he repeated, his fingers rubbing the back of his neck.

With that I padded across the carpet to the bathroom, one of his sheets wrapped around me.

As I went to reopen the door and return to the bedroom, I took one final look at myself in the mirror above the sink. I didn't look any different... not that I knew what I was supposed to be searching for anyway. You watched it in movie after movie, read it in book after book, all of them doing the exact same thing I was currently doing. What were we meant to see? My hair was mussed as if I'd simply been sleeping, my cheeks pink as if I'd been out in the cold too long. Nothing was unfamiliar. I shook my head with a confused smile and reached for the door handle.

Edward was nowhere to be seen – I immediately started to panic. Then I saw the curtains twitch with the sudden breeze that flew into the room, and breathed a sigh of relief.

He was standing only his underwear... and shoes, cursing as he blew smoke out into the night. He looked so silly, not to mention he would catch a chill if he stayed out there much longer.

I raised my fist and knocked on the glass, startling him enough that his cigarette dropped to the ground. _Well, that's one way to get him to come back inside. I wonder if that would work with others?... you know, surprising them every time they went to light up. It would be the new nicotine patch... just without the nicotine... or the patch. The flaws could be worked out later._

He scowled as he stomped on the stick, pulling back the door so he could come into the warm. "Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you," I told him, noticing the Jeep was now parked out front. I felt my cheeks warm... oh God, they wouldn't have heard anything, right? Even if they had, they didn't know Edward was with me. I took a calming breath.

"You're blushing – care to share?" he asked while slipping off his shoes as he relocked the door.

"Um, no," I smiled, hoping my cheeks weren't reddening further. From the smile that spread across his face as he turned back to me, I was guessing they were.

"Didn't think you would," he said with a smile. "I'm just going to brush my teeth."

"Okay," I nodded. "Oh, can I borrow a shirt or something to sleep in? I mean, I have pyjamas in the room opposite," I voiced with a point in that direction. "But, someone may hear me..."

I didn't need to finish that sentence – he knew.

"Yeah," he breathed, frowning. "Second drawer from the bottom... for the shirts." I gave him a small smile in thanks and shuffled my way over, kicking the sheet from my feet every time it threatened to bring me to the floor.

I pulled out the first item I came across - a plain black t-shirt - and immediately slipped it over my head, my nose filled with the fresh laundered scent. My dress caught my eye as I pulled on my underwear, now crumpled on the floor. I hurried over and picked it up, moving to place it over the arm of the couch, frowning at the creases.

Edward walked back into the room just as I was debating whether to get back into bed or not, the front of his hair now damp from where he had evidently washed his face.

"You can get in you know," he chuckled, pulling the duvet back a little with a nod for me to do as he said.

I climbed in, turning to fluff the pillows, smiling when I saw him doing the same.

"Tired?" he questioned, lying on his side, facing me.

I stared back into his eyes and nodded, a gentle smile on my lips. "Tired," I affirmed.

He seemed to be debating something, his brows furrowing, giving his anxieties away. His gaze drifted to the door for a few seconds before focusing back on me as he slid closer, his arm across the backs of my pillows.

Elation swept through me at his silent invitation, my pulse quickening. I didn't waste any time in accepting his offer.

My head found his shoulder, and my arm drifted across his bare chest, just like last time. He pulled me closer, his face so near mine.

We lay like that for a while, his fingers stroking my hair, mine tracing invisible pattens in his skin. My eyes eventually began to close, contentment making me drowsy.

"Night Bella," he whispered, his lips at my forehead.

I wanted to say so much; how I thought I loved him, how I had chosen him if he wanted me, but I didn't - I held my tongue.

"Night Edward," I whispered back, my hand over his heart as I once again closed my eyes in search of sleep.

OoOoO

Goosebumps prickled at my skin as I started to wake, the reason for that soon becoming obvious as I cracked open an eye. Edward Cullen was a duvet thief.

I didn't know how I'd missed that, the previous times we'd shared a bed, but there was no doubt about it now. There he was, covered with it, while I had to be content with his arm across my stomach. I mean, it was _nice_, but it was no duvet.

I squinted up at the ceiling, still so tired, and decided that he didn't need it. Plus he was still asleep... he probably wouldn't even notice.

I immediately stole the covers off him. _Warmth, how I've missed you..._

He snatched them back not three minutes later - I was having none of it. I grasped the edge and pulled it back, this time choosing to keep a tight hold on the fabric. Lo and behold he made another grab for it soon after.

His tugs were getting more powerful as I still refused to give it up, but I was determined. I was apparently really stubborn at five-thirty-two in the morning. _Oh my God – what kind of gentleman is he? I mean, I give him sex, and he doesn't even give me the duvet. _

I looked over at his face, at those lips quirked up into a smile... _wait._ How long has he been awake?

"Give it up Edward," I grumbled, my voice thick with sleep.

"No, it's my bed," he responded, sounding like a petulant child.

"So?" I said, giving the cover a sharp tug, which caused his smile to widen. "I gave you sex."_ I did not just say that out loud..._

He laughed. _Shit._

"Does that mean if I give you the covers, I'll get more sex?" he asked, his eyes now open. _So pretty._

I gaped at him. "Er, no."

He started shifting then, letting go of his grip on the duvet as he moved on top of me. "No?" he questioned, his mouth tempting me with its speaking.

My fingertips found his jaw as I gazed up at him, my feelings so strong. It hurt to look at him sometimes.

His smile waned, changing to something else as he moved a hand up to my face, pushing wayward strands of hair from my forehead. "You're beautiful," he whispered for the second time in under twenty-four hours, his words causing my cheeks to hue as I felt them warm.

My heart felt so full - I couldn't hold my tongue any longer.

"I broke up with Jacob," I said lowly, quickly, my eyes searching his.

His lips parted, eyes widening momentarily as he gazed back at me.

"Okay," he breathed out, wetting his lips as his gaze flicked to the side. "Why?" His face was unreadable; my guard instantly backed into place. _What is he thinking?_

I swallowed against the lump in my throat, willing myself not to look away. "Because he wasn't what I wanted. Wasn't _who_ I wanted."

"No?" he asked, eyes the darkest of green. I shook my head.

"I can't promise you anything," he said after a moment.

"I know," murmured, pushing down the hurt that was making its way to the surface.

His hand returned to my face, lips closer to mine. "I don't want anyone else to know," he expressed, momentarily closing his eyes. "They'll get involved, and I don't want that."

Even though I should have been disagreeing, I wasn't. I'd only just broken things off with Jacob... I wouldn't rub this in his face on top of everything else. I had been wrong... selfish, but I wasn't cruel. And like Edward said, he couldn't make me any promises. There was no point in more people hurting if this went nowhere.

I squeezed my eyes shut, hating the way those thoughts made my chest ache.

"Okay," I agreed, taking a deep breath. "Just us. No one else."

He kissed me then, his hand on my thigh. "So, considering I gave you the duvet..."

I smiled and pulled his mouth back to me, back to lips that would always be his as his hand slipped under my shirt.

Hopefully with time, things would become better. Hopefully with time, he would see me as I saw him.

As I closed my eyes against the boy who had become my whole world, I hoped the hands of our clock would move faster and allow me these things sooner rather than later; that the cogs would continue to turn and the tick still sound.

And above all else, I hoped the hands wouldn't stop.

That our time wouldn't end.

* * *

**Reviews will get a teaser for the next chapter.**

**This weeks recs are:**

**'Teenage Dreams' by BelleDean. It deserves so many more reviews than it has.**

**'My Perfect Mr Imperfect' by xrxdanixrx. I love Imperfectward.**

**Merry Christmas, and thanks so much for reading. ****VHL xx**


	30. Chapter 30

**Hey everyone! Firstly, Happy New Year! I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas. **

**Massive thank you to my beta Susan - she goes above and beyond for me. ****And huge thanks to jedigirlsc for prereading and the help. I love them both.**

**There are a few unexplained... lets say, _hints_ in this chapter that will be discussed fully in a few chapters time. So don't worry if you think you've missed something, because you haven't.**

**Also, a big thanks to AT for keeping me company until 6am while I finished this chapter.**

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns Twilight and all its characters.**

* * *

Edward

Bella was still asleep beside me as I lay awake, her quiet breaths a musical backdrop to the room. My hands were hidden underneath my pillows, the temptation to reach over and caress her face strong. I didn't want to disturb her; she looked so peaceful.

Instead, I focused on the events of last night.

Being with Bella had been so much more than I'd ever thought it could be. I'd never experienced that intensity, that... _feeling_, with anyone before. Everything about her was special, and different, and I was so scared I'd mess it up.

When she'd disturbed me earlier this morning, grumpy with that just woken look, I couldn't help but tease her a little. She'd had creases on her cheeks and mussed up hair – I'd found it hard to keep the smile off my face for as long as I had.

I'd been fully awake the second time she'd stolen the duvet from me, her first attempt having roused me silently. I could tell she was pissed from the chorus of humphs that left her mouth; not to mention the grip she had on the covers towards the end.

She'd called me out on my being awake, and had made me laugh with the silly things that escaped from her mouth. I wanted to kiss it in return. And as I moved atop her, staring into brown eyes that had captivated me from the very beginning, I couldn't stop the words from forming.

I told her she was beautiful.

I'd never said that to a girl before, much less thought it; beautiful wasn't a word you heard thrown around so much. Sure, I'd thought a girl was pretty, or hot, or had big boobs. But beautiful? Not really.

And then she'd gone and stunned me, actually made me at a loss for words.

"_I broke up with Jacob."_

I'd had no quick reply to give back to that admission; nothing sarcastic or funny or deflecting. I'd felt the morning chill sting my eyes as they widened in shock, and immediately shut the action down. The feeling had caused me to breathe out a one word reply that held nothing... that gave away nothing - the type of word I knew I'd hate to hear her say back to me.

"_Okay."_

I'd continued, and asked _why,_ my brain seemingly refusing to work with me, giving me just another syllable - another word that concealed what I'd been truly feeling; not that I'd fully grasped at it at the time.

And then she'd told me Jacob wasn't what she wanted... wasn't _who _she wanted, and the relief and disbelief – the happiness and fear - that had swept through me... it was all too much for me to take in that quickly. I'd been so convinced she didn't want me in _that_ way.

"_I can't promise you anything,"_ I'd uttered.

It may have sounded like I didn't care, but it was the complete opposite - I had to tell her that. I'd never been in a relationship like this before; I didn't know how things would work out any more than she did. Where she'd been brave and hinted at what she wanted, I was still hiding.

I could have made promise after promise, lies were easy, but that was just it; they may not become truth. They would leave behind hurt and tears... and they would, there was no doubt about that now. I'd fallen, swiftly... or maybe so slowly that I hadn't noticed until I really _saw_.

There had been a time I could deny and ignore what I thought I felt, but that had now moved on, changing like the flame leaves of autumn to the green of spring - new, bright, and appealing.

My next words had been selfish, _"I don't want anyone else to know,"_ but I said them anyway. I knew my family; they'd get involved like they always did, and make it their business, _their_ decisions. Now that she wasn't tied to anyone, I wanted to keep her to myself, even if only for a little while.

She'd been staring back at me the whole time, eyes expressing what she wouldn't outright say. _More. _I knew I'd attempt to give it to her. I'd try. So I kissed her, and teased her with words, but didn't take that step we'd taken last night.

And here I was, wanting to wake her and do it all again.

I closed my eyes and turned to lie on my back, willing myself to go back to sleep. It felt weird to be awake while she was still sleeping.

The peace didn't last long. Fists started to bang against my door, startling me into an upright position. I instantly looked over to Bella, her eyes now wide and open, lips parted - they made me forget about the door for all of two seconds. That was until the person behind the door knocked again.

"Fuck," I whispered, placing a hand on Bella's arm. She sat up, her hair falling about her face in disarray.

"The door," she mouthed, pointing.

"Locked," I assured her, shaking my head.

"Edward! Get your lazy ass out of bed, I've made breakfast." Emmett's voice was loud and cheerful, and utterly unwelcome right then.

He did this occasionally, which meant there would be a mountain of eggs somewhere in the kitchen. He always felt it necessary to show everyone he'd cooked, and then make sure everyone ate with him.

"I'm not hungry," I shouted back, rubbing my hands down my face. _Always with his stomach..._

"Aw, come on, I've made your favourite. Chocolate chip pancakes," he expressed. "I'll even put a smiley face on them just like Mom used to do for you when you were little."

I groaned, glaring at the door. "I think you're getting me confused with Alice. Only girls decorate their food."

He laughed, and what I presumed was his fist hit the door again. "Yeah, right. I remember how you used to refuse to eat anything unless she did that for you."

I immediately looked over to Bella, her lip between her teeth as she tried not to laugh at me, eyes shining and playful. She'd so be paying for that later.

"I'll be down in twenty minutes," I said, my voice loud and grumpy.

"Fine, I have to go wake Alice up anyway," he replied.

"Great. Now fuck off."

I rolled my eyes, his laughter eventually dying off as he went to annoy someone else. And it seemed he wasn't the only one who found it amusing, because as soon as Emmett's laughter had completely faded, Bella's came to life, her body shaking as she turned away from me and hid her face in the pillow.

I threw the covers back and rolled over, leaning across her so I could see her face. "I think you _like_ laughing at me, Bella Swan," I expressed, pushing away the hair that had fallen to hide her face.

She looked up at me, smiling. "Does Esme still do that for you now? Make smiley faces on your burgers with ketchup? Or on your pumpkin pie at Christmas with whipped cream?"

"No," I answered straight away, my eyes narrowing. This just made her laugh harder, her knees coming up to her chest.

"That's it," I declared, turning her onto her back as I leaned down and started placing soft bites on her neck.

Her laughter soon died down, now replaced with low moans. I replaced my teeth with my lips... my tongue, my left hand against her cheek while the other moved down to grasp her boob.

"Don't leave any marks," she whispered, pulling my face away from her skin to gaze up at me. I swallowed heavily, and kissed her cheek, my lips sweeping to the corner of her mouth.

I knew why she'd said that, but ignored it and pushed the thoughts away. "I haven't, I won't," I assured.

"Okay," she breathed. I moved the hand still on her breast, rubbing my palm against her nipple. She groaned, her hands coming to cover her eyes.

"As much as I want to stay here, and do more of this," she said, sweeping one of her hands away from her face to motion between the both of us. "Emmett's just going to come up again if you're not down there soon. And I don't want them to see me... like this. Not without any explanation or whatever first."

I nodded, and took a deep breath, before letting it out slowly. "Yeah, I know."

I placed a brief kiss against her lips and pushed myself away hastily afterwards. I didn't want to get carried away and end up having Emmett start banging on my door again.

After using the bathroom quickly – Bella ducked under my arm to use it after me – I grabbed some clothes from the back of my chair, and checked to make sure they weren't too dirty. I'd be having a shower after breakfast, so there was no sense in putting on clean clothes just to have to change again in an hour.

As I pulled my hoodie over my head, it hit me – how was I going to get Bella out of here without anyone seeing her?

Just then, the door opened, Bella stepping out in her underwear and the same shirt I'd loaned her last night. She stood there, flushing slightly as she rubbed the back of her left leg with her right foot.

"Um, I haven't got anything to put on... pants wise," she said, not meeting my eyes. I smirked and went over to my closet, trying to find something she could put on just for now.

I pulled out a pair of sweats that I knew would be far too long for her, but it was the best I had.

"Here," I said, passing them to her. "Slip these on and I'll roll the ends up for you."

"Thanks," she expressed, taking them from me to push her legs through. I crouched down, chuckling as I turned the ends up until I could see her feet.

"Shut up," she mumbled, trying not to smile back at me.

I shook my head, trying not to laugh again, and carried on.

"There, all done," I said when I'd finished, getting to my feet with a quick tap on the back of her thighs.

She raised a brow as she stepped forward, her lips pursed as she placed a palm over my stomach, unknowingly distracting me... or maybe knowingly, I couldn't tell.

Then before I had time to stop her, she'd reciprocated, tapping the backs of my own legs.

"Don't dish out what you can't take, Edward," she said far too sweetly.

I pulled her closer, my arms encompassing her waist. "Is that right?" I asked as her face tilted to meet my eyes.

"Yeah," she breathed, her hands now gripping the back of my hoodie.

"So, if I did this..." I placed a kiss against her lips, before pulling away, "you'd have to kiss me back, right?"

She nodded.

"And if I did this," she whispered, reaching up on her toes to press her lips to my cheek, once, twice, a third time...

She didn't get to complete her sentence.

My hands found the backs of her knees as I lifted her, a gasp of surprise leaving her mouth as I pressed her into the nearest wall with my body. Her legs naturally wrapped around my waist as I pushed my tongue between her lips, not quite ready for her to leave yet, but knowing she had to. Her tongue was soft and eager and addictive, which made me think of her mouth on other places... _lower_ places, which didn't help with the problem already starting to strain against my jeans.

"Oh God," she murmured as I squeezed her ass, shifting my hips against hers. "Emmett... he'll... be back," she breathed, her eyes half closed as the grip she had on my shoulders strengthened.

I immediately pulled back. "You're thinking of my brother, _now_?" I asked incredulously, capturing her gaze. Her cheeks were pink as she chuckled, a slight shake of her head given.

"Why? Jealous?" she questioned, biting her lip. I squinted my eyes, my response automatic.

"No," I said swiftly, wetting my lips. It was a lie.

"Well in that case," she announced, blowing the hair from her face. "_Emmett, _oh_ Emmett, _you feel _so_ good."

I knew she was joking, but I couldn't help but react to her words. My jaw was tense and my hands - still on her ass - squeezed harder.

"Hmm, _Emmett -"_

My hand moved to cover her mouth - I'd had about enough of that shit.

"Don't even think about saying any more," I warned.

She looked back at me, eyes dark as she grazed her teeth across my palm. I groaned - if I didn't get her home right now, I wasn't sure we'd leave the bedroom.

I dropped my hand and gently lowered her to her feet, giving a quick look to the clock. She cleared her throat and straightened out her shirt... _my_ shirt. I liked looking at her in my clothes, even if the sight of the too-long sweats made me want to laugh all over again.

She went over and picked her dress up from the couch, her shoes in her other hand. I stood by the door, watching her... waiting. She paused beside me, eyeing the handle, obviously wondering why I hadn't opened it yet.

Her mouth popped open, eyes widening - I was positive she'd just figured it out.

"How am I going to get home without anyone seeing me?"

_And here comes the panic._

"I mean, if I didn't have my dress from last night, or if I wasn't currently wearing your clothes, it wouldn't matter, because if Alice saw me, I could just turn straight back around. And if she asked why I was leaving before I'd actually gotten to the door, I could pretend that I'd forgotten to... I don't know, turn off the oven at home or something -"

"Bella," I interrupted, smiling. But of course she wasn't listening and just carried right on.

"I could have distracted her with talk of the dance, where she'd go on to tell me how much fun she'd had with Jazz. I saw him on the dance floor last night... who knew he had such smooth moves?"

I ran my hands through my hair, thoroughly exasperated. _Jesus Christ..._

"Bella!" I said again, this time a little louder, wincing at the level of my voice.

It seemed to have worked though, as she'd thankfully stopped her panic-driven babbling.

I put my hands on her shoulders and lowered my face so I was eye level with her. "I have a plan – we'll be fine," I assured, giving a small nod.

"And what is this plan?" she asked, looking a lot calmer. I pointed out the door to my car.

"I'll go out first, make sure no one's out front. Then you hop in the car, duck down, and I drive you a little ways down the street."

When I looked back to her, she was frowning, gazing outside at the line of vehicles.

"Oh," was all she replied.

"You should put those on, what with the gravel and everything," I advised, indicating to her shoes.

She looked down and slipped them on wordlessly, now using both hands to clutch her dress to her chest.

I took a step forward to tuck some loose hair behind her ear, but she still looked worried... or upset about something.

"No one will be able to see you get into the car," I whispered, my thumb ghosting along her cheek.

I had to get a grip - I couldn't seem to stop touching her lately. Even more so after last night. Even more so after how good I knew it could be.

"Yeah... no, I'm alright," she replied, offering me a small smile.

I sighed and rubbed the back of my neck - I knew she was lying. "Ready, then?"

"Ready," she answered coolly. I didn't have time to ask again – I simply assured myself that I'd call her later. Or if Charlie was at work, I'd go over and see her.

My fingers fumbled with the lock, before grasping the handle to pull the door open. We were immediately assaulted with the cold air, and as I stopped outside, dead leaves drifted around my feet.

I made quick work of the steps, the gravel crunching beneath my shoes as I unlocked the car. As I went to the passenger's side, I made sure no one was lingering out front for whatever reason. It was doubtful in this weather, but then with Alice and Emmett as siblings, you never knew what they were up to. Their imaginations and spirit were a little scary sometimes.

With a wave of my hand, Bella turned to close the balcony doors and started down the steps, the heels of her shoes loud in the mostly serene garden. She slid into the seat, shrugging down as I shut her in. I hesitated for just a moment; the sight of her sitting like that felt so... _wrong_.

I started the engine, wasting no time before backing out - Bella stayed slouched as I passed her house.

I noticed Charlie's cruiser was in the driveway, but the curtains were drawn, so I assumed he was still sleeping. I pulled up alongside the curb after a few more houses had slipped by. Only then did Bella sit up straight.

"See, easy," I joked, trying to lighten the atmosphere. I think it worked, because she arched a brow with a look of amusement instead of the distant looks from earlier.

"I should go," she said lowly, yet not actually making any move to do so.

"Yeah," I responded, turning to look out the windshield.

My hands started to grip the steering wheel, more out of awkwardness than anything else. I'd never really experienced this before; dropping a girl off after the previous night. It felt really odd, and again, _awkward_.

I felt lips brush my cheek, startling me out of my thoughts. I turned my head to meet her eyes, and planted a kiss to her mouth. And then another.

I didn't want to see her walk away from me... I was stalling.

My hands found her jaw as I continued to kiss her, and soon enough she was half in my lap, kneeling across the space between us.

I pulled her forward, my arm around her waist to steady her. I felt her smile against my lips, which kind of made me halt. What the hell was I doing?

I let her go, clearing my throat as her hand found the door handle.

Neither one of us said anything as she got out, but as she closed the door behind her, she shot me a smile that brought one to my own lips.

As I turned the car around, I tried not to think about tomorrow, or the next day, or the day after that. I instead concentrated on the lie that I was going to have to tell my family if they'd noticed I'd left.

Checking car troubles from a _maybe_ problem the night before sounded as good as any.

OoOoO

The week up to Christmas had gone pretty quickly; a whiz of cooking, bad holiday music and gift wrap. I made sure I was home a lot more, and helped when I felt like it.

I tasted the cookies and pies as Esme baked them. I moaned about the choice of music stations Em would put on the TV or radio. And the gifts I had bought for family members, I had Alice wrap... well, apart from hers. I got Mom to do that for me. It may have sounded lazy, but the last time I wrapped a gift, the paper had torn on most of the corners, and I got more tape stuck to the carpet than the actual paper. It was a lot more fiddly than it looked.

Another reason I stayed closer to home, and ignored invites to parties, was because Bella was nearly always there. It was funny how much my views on her being around all the time had changed. Before, I couldn't stand it. Now, the feeling was the total opposite.

We'd only been able to sneak in kisses here and there - after a door had closed when someone left a room, or when we'd pass each other in the hallway outside our rooms.

She'd spent another night in my bed, all languid touches and soft lips. That same feeling I had the last time I moved atop her was still there – complete absorption. I noticed every flutter of lashes, every fingertip on my skin, every moan that left her mouth... it was overwhelming to say the least.

There was no need for car drives the morning after – she simply slipped back into the room opposite where everyone assumed she'd been sleeping.

I'd been going crazy with my need for her again, but Alice and Rose had felt it necessary to camp out in the den and watch movies most nights, which meant that I could only sit and watch from the sofa as she lay in front of me on a collection of blankets and fluffy pillows.

And on top of all that frustration, there was the situation with Tanya.

As soon as I'd turned my phone on after dropping Bella home last weekend, two messages and a voice mail had instantly flashed to the screen. The first message being: _Where are you?_ And the second:_ Lauren gave me your message._ They'd given nothing away to how she felt about my abandoning her without notice, which made me a little hesitant to listen to the voice mail. But I did... and what shocked me the most, was the lack of anger.

Her tone had been hard for me to read. Her words portrayed her annoyance, but overall, she sounded pretty... _calm_. However, I knew better - calm wasn't good. I'd have rather had the anger, that way I wouldn't have to deal with her when we got back to school, but this... _this_ meant that I couldn't ignore her.

My pretense of feeling unwell the night of the dance had allowed me to leave without much suspicion, but if I simply started to brush her off for no reason now, it would garner attention. And where that group of girls were concerned, that wasn't a good thing. I'd seen the way they worked, the way they could cut someone off who had previously been a friend; the way they acted towards the person they disliked. Hell, they'd already targeted Bella. I still hadn't forgotten what they'd done to her on her birthday.

Then there were the negative words spoken about her at lunch times - the looks they shot her across a classroom. My attention towards her, however minimal in front of them, had apparently stuck. If they had any inclination of the way I felt about her, they could very well make her school-life hell.

It would most likely be small things... something that wouldn't attract the attention of a teacher; something that couldn't solely be blamed on one person. Little pushes here and there, snide comments breathed in an ear. They may not seem like much at the time, but day after day, they would no doubt begin to wear you down. They would build and build until you either crumbled, or struck back. And in Bella's case, if the worst came to worst, I didn't know if she could handle it. The positive aspects though, were she had Alice and Rose by her side. If there was one person those girls were wary of, it was Rosalie Hale.

I sighed and rubbed my hands down my face, letting my breath out slowly. I had to stop thinking of the _what ifs_ – the negatives. The problem was, I knew things were only going to become more complicated between me and Bella when we returned to school. I was already having a hard time staying away from her now, in front of my family.

I couldn't imagine how much more stressful it was going to be with more eyes around.

The bright numbers of the clock beside my bed alerted me to the time – seven o'clock. It was Christmas morning, which meant early risings, despite the fact it was holiday season when we got to sleep in.

I could already hear movement downstairs, so I knew I might as well get up now before Alice came bounding up here, forgoing boundaries. I hadn't locked my door last night, so she'd come barging her way inside after finding the door unlocked.

If I wasn't asleep most of the times she did it, I'd find it pretty funny. She thought the most random and stupid things were important sometimes, and felt like I _just had_ to know about them as soon as she got wind of them, whatever the time. I, on the other hand, couldn't have cared less.

I stretched and threw back the covers before heading over to the bathroom. Once finished, I threw on a t-shirt and sweats, and made my way downstairs. As I hit the second floor, Em walked from his room, rubbing at his eyes sleepily.

He hadn't seen me yet, so I thought I'd fuck with him.

I crept up behind him, put my mouth near his ear, and screamed. "Wake up!"

He swung around, one of his hands over his ear, the other fisted as he glared at me. "Motherfuck-"

I didn't get to hear the last bit - I'd already started to run. I heard him chasing after me, his footsteps loud and heavy against the floorboards. I hit the foyer, skidding across the floor on my socked feet. Alice immediately appeared from the lounge - a string of tinsel around her neck like a scarf – to no doubt to see what all the noise was about.

She took one look at me trying to get to my feet and rolled her eyes, a grin on her face as she saw Emmett charge at me.

I was soon caught in one of his headlocks, the knuckles of his left hand scrubbing against my scalp. That shit hurt.

"Say sorry," he pressed, dodging my elbow as I tried to strike out at him.

"I will, once you apologize for the smell of your feet. I mean, Jesus Christ, Em, it smells like something's died," I moaned, scrunching up my nose.

"What? It's a manly trait," he expressed, asking Alice if he could borrow the tinsel around her neck.

"It's also one of a pig," I laughed, trying to hit him as the pressure of his knuckles increased.

Alice skipped forward, a pout on her face as she handed the bright red decoration over. I scowled at her the best I could in my current position, and mouthed 'traitor'. She was _my_ twin, after all.

She flipped me the bird, and started giggling as she helped Emmett attach it around my head like some girlie head-wear shit. I heard Alice declare she'd even tied a bow.

Mom and Dad's voices drifted into the foyer as they came from the kitchen, mugs of hot drinks in their hands.

"Why, Edward, don't you look pretty," Mom commented, which sent Em and Alice into hysterics.

_Yeah, hilarious._

I finally managed to pull away, and ripped the thing from my head. "Yeah, well one of us has to have the looks in the family," I said, smirking at Alice, who made a disgruntled noise in the back of her throat.

"Whatever," she said with a roll of her eyes. "Can we open our presents now?"

She went straight for Dad – she always had had him wrapped around her little finger.

"I don't see why not," he said with a wink. I sighed and followed after her, snorting when I saw that Em had put the tinsel around his own head.

"Now who's the pretty one?" he grinned, pointing a finger inwards at himself.

"Still not you," I laughed, and plonked myself down beside the tree next to Alice.

While dodging Em's foot as he walked past, I caught Dad staring at me. Mom settled herself next to him on the sofa, her hand immediately linking with his. I knew what he was thinking, as I'd thought the exact same thing only last night when trying to sleep.

This time of year always made me think about it, and as my eyes drifted to my mother by his side, I started to wonder if that look in her eyes as she gazed at all three of us was also for a fourth.

I turned away abruptly, watching Alice tear the paper off her first present.

The next hour was spent with us all exchanging gifts, choruses of thanks given after each present became unveiled. I had a pile of books, music and clothes beside me. Alice had gotten me an over-expensive aftershave and a collection of other smelly stuff.

Thankfully they all seemed to like the gifts I'd bought them: fluffy slippers, and some hair product the woman at the store had told me was _amazing_ for short hair, for Alice. I'd bought Em a new baseball glove, and I'd picked up a basket full of fancy food and preserves and stuff for mom and dad.

However, neither one of those gifts filled me with the nerves I felt about a certain box that was currently hidden upstairs in my room.

Bella, along with Charlie, would be coming over later tonight. They were having actual Christmas dinner at the Clearwater's, so Esme had invited them for drinks instead.

I didn't know if Bella had gotten me a gift – we hadn't discussed it. Either way, I'd felt like... _no..._ I'd _wanted_ to get her something.

I hoped it would portray a little of what I felt without having to put it into words... without having to say it out loud.

As soon as I'd seen it in the store window that day in Port Angeles, I knew who I wanted to buy it for.

I hadn't known at the time whether I would actually give it to her, but that didn't stop me. I'd walked inside before chickening out, and paid for it quickly with a murmur of thanks to the lady behind the counter.

The dark blue box upstairs held a delicate silver bracelet, adorned with a few dangly things around the chain that I'd been informed were charms. Once I'd realised what the sales assistant had been talking about, she'd brought a tray of charms out from under the glass counter for me to choose from. I'd chosen a silver book, a car to go along with her recent birthday present, and a small gemstone in the shape of a heart.

I knew as much about jewellery as I did about how to work a washing machine.

On washers, there were too many settings and buttons, not to mention there was nothing on the front of the thing telling you how much laundry soap you had to put in. And I was left with the same feeling of confusion every time I spotted that little blue box nestled in my bedside table. I didn't know if she already had a bracelet with charms, or whether she even liked jewellery.

I'd nearly given it to her last week when I'd come home to find her waiting for me in my room.

When searching for condoms - after things had progressed between us to a point where we were both ready - I'd spotted that blue velvet immediately. And I'd been torn. I wanted to make her feel special... to not regret her decision, but the part of my brain that also told me it was a bad idea to eat a worm when I was six after Em had dared me, also told me that giving gifts before sex was a big no-no. So I'd slammed the door shut and determined I'd wait until Christmas.

I watched some cartoons with Em after we'd finished clearing up all the wrapping paper from the floor. Rose and Jazz came over a few hours later, and more gifts were exchanged.

Just as I was about to head upstairs for a shower before dinner, Jazz stopped me.

"Edward!" he called, rounding the corner. I stepped off the first step and turned to face him.

"Jazz," I said, bemusement colouring my voice. He just stood there, looking awkward and out of place, which was so unlike him.

It immediately made me anxious.

"Um, I was wondering if I could talk to you for a second," he said quickly, running a hand through his hair.

I shifted on my feet. "Sure," I answered, letting the word drag out slightly.

He looked behind him, then took another step forward, lowering his voice. "It's about Bella."

I felt my jaw tense, and indicated with a nod that he should follow me upstairs.

I'd known this was coming, that he'd have more questions, but I just hadn't expected them to come today. All sorts of thoughts starting accumulating inside my head: _What if he wants to tell the others? What if he's already told the others? No, no, I would have known if he had. _

I pushed the door to my room open, and asked him to close it after him. He made his way to the couch while I sat myself down on the edge of my bed.

He sat, but made no move to say anything. Losing my patience, I snapped at him. "What is it, Jazz?"

His head snapped up, his gaze leaving the carpet. "Did she break up with Jacob, for you?"

My mouth opened, but no words came. Talk about getting straight to the point.

I briefly flicked my eyes to the window, irritation coursing through me. "I don't know," I lied. "Only she could answer that."

"What, you didn't ask?" he queried, his brows furrowing.

I sighed, my leg bouncing. "No, Jasper, I didn't. I didn't ask her shit, okay?"

His elbows came to rest on his knees as he fixed me with a serious stare. "You realize that she must be serious about you though, right? I mean, she dumped her boyfriend... a friend she'd known a lot longer than you, might I add.

"She wouldn't do that on a whim."

I shot him an incredulous look.

"You think I don't know that? I'm not stupid, I know she wants more," I said, the harsh tone in my voice dying down.

"Then what are you doing about it?" he asked, surprising me again.

I pinched the bridge of my nose, not comfortable with his questioning. "Not meaning to sound like an asshole here... or maybe I am. But Jazz, it really has nothing to do with you. This is between me and Bella, no one else."

Suddenly, he was smiling, his whole demeanour changing. "So, there's a you and Bella, huh?"

"What? No... shut up," I said, not knowing what else to say. His smile grew.

"So, what, you're dating?"

"Not exactly," I explained. "We're... _trying_. We don't want anyone to know."

This time his smile faded. "And whose idea was that?"

"Mine..." I replied honestly, taking a deep breath. "But she doesn't want to say anything to anyone either... she thinks it wouldn't be fair to Jacob."

That furrow to his brow was back, and I knew before he even spoke the words, I wasn't going to like them.

"And what's your reasoning, Edward? Why do you want to hide it?" he asked gravely.

"I'm... I -"

Could I really tell him everything I'd been thinking?

"Let me ask you something instead," I suggested, wanting his opinion. "How are you so sure this thing between me and Bella is even going to last? What do you see that I apparently don't?"

He didn't answer straight away, so I carried on, my voice more subdued.

"What's the point in telling anyone if it's just going to end badly? You don't know what's going to happen any more than I do," I explained.

He shook his head, wiping a hand over his face. "Because you've never been like this, Edward," he replied. "You've never particularly cared about what people think... not until now."

I shrugged, looking at my hands.

"It shows you care," he added. "But I'm not going to lie to you – I think you're an idiot."

"Thanks," I said, laughing humourlessly.

"I'm being serious, if you don't let her in, you'll fuck it up before it's even begun."

"Before _what's_ begun?" I queried, meeting his gaze.

"Do you really need me to answer that?"

I froze, not willing to talk about it any more.

"I need to shower, so..."

"I can take a hint," he sighed, getting to his feet.

"I'm only saying all this because you're too stubborn and need that kick up the ass every now and then."

I smirked, shaking my head as he made his way back to the door. "Oh, and also, I'm saying this because it's Christmas. So let this be my gift to you – stop being a _fuckwit_."

"Jazz, you already gave me a beanie," I told him, raising a brow.

"That's true... I've given you two gifts, which means you now owe me one."

I gave him the finger, expressing just what I thought about that. He closed the door behind him with a laugh, and left me stewing in my own head.

OoOoO

Dinner was actually pretty fun, mostly for the fact Emmett spilled gravy all over himself. Not that that deterred him from eating as much as his stomach could handle. He'd stripped his shirt at the table, which had Mom hurrying to get him a clean one. I pissed him off further by eating the last of the potatoes.

Rose and Alice had apparently been drinking, much to my amusement. They tried to hide it, but the second time Alice dropped peas all over the floor, while aiming for her plate, kind of gave it away. No one else seemed to notice, or if they did, were choosing to ignore it.

It was now late evening, nearly eight-thirty, and Alice was singing along with some karaoke game she'd gotten, complete with microphones. I was sure she was still a bit tipsy. _Fucking kill me now..._

The couch suddenly dipped beside me, and it wasn't until I felt a hand briefly edge towards mine that I realized who it was. I hadn't even heard the doorbell ring.

Bella wasn't looking at me – there were too many people in the room. She was wearing a dark blue sweater... with a skirt. _Again, fucking kill me now._

I couldn't stop staring at her legs, couldn't stop thinking about touching them. And then she turned and smiled at me, and I was sure she'd done it on purpose.

My fingers dug themselves into the couch as I resisted the urge to grab her hand and pull her from the room. Just as I was seriously considering doing just that, the Chief walked in, Carlisle in tow.

I found myself sandwiched between father and daughter on the couch. Cop and a girl I was planning on groping later.

I cut my eyes to Jazz who wasn't hiding his amusement in the slightest. He was outright laughing, his eyes darting from me to Alice. To everyone else it would look like he was reacting to Alice's singing, but no, I knew better.

I put my palms to my knees, ready to get the hell off this sofa, when Charlie started speaking to me.

"I haven't heard your name mentioned at the station lately. Glad to see you're keeping out of trouble," he smiled, talking a sip of his beer.

_If he only knew,_ I thought.

Jazz's laughter got louder, but I didn't look at him, not wanting to make anything obvious.

I rubbed at the back of my neck, and glanced quickly at Bella. She was blushing, no doubt listening. Thankfully Esme came into the room, handing out more drinks, which took the focus off me a bit.

"Um, yeah, I've been staying in a lot... reading, that sort of thing," I replied, reaching for a handful of nuts that had appeared on the table.

He gave a nod, presumably pleased to hear this, and started talking to Carlisle about football.

I covertly looked around the room. Rose was asleep next to Emmett on the other sofa, and Esme was now sitting with the other two adults. Alice was still singing badly, so I slyly nudged Bella's knee with my own, before getting up and leaving the room.

No one batted an eyelid – it wasn't unusual for me to go off and do my own thing.

I'd been waiting on the second floor for what must have been about ten minutes, when I heard footsteps on the stairs.

I breathed a sigh of relief when I met the familiar brown eyes, and smirked as she started fiddling with the ends of her skirt. She was carrying a bag now, which I hadn't seen earlier. I thought she was about to hand it over, but as she came closer, she pulled it behind her back and waltzed straight past me.

I followed after her, wrapping my arm around her waist when she paused between the two doors; mine and hers.

As soon as the door was closed, her back was to it, her lips captured by mine.

"Did you wear this on purpose Bella," I whispered, tugging the black material covering part of her legs.

"No," she breathed lowering the bag carefully to the floor. "I always wear a skirt at Christmas."

My hands moved across her thighs, feeling all that soft skin.

"I've missed you the past two days," she admitted shyly.

I could have said the same thing... maybe should have.

"I want you so much," I said instead, leaning down to pull her bottom lip into my mouth.

"Me too," she whispered, her fingers teasing the hair below my navel. Shivers shot down my spine, and suddenly I didn't care who was downstairs. All I cared about was being able to touch her, and make her come undone.

My hands went under her skirt, resting at the top of her underwear.

"They know I've come to give you a Christmas gift, as I'd stupidly _'forgotten'_ to give it you downstairs," she said, indicating to the bag on the floor. "We have about twenty minutes." Then she turned the lock.

That was all the incentive I needed. I pulled my shirt over my head, immediately reaching for Bella's. Hands went everywhere, teasing... touching. Lips kissed, and tongues tasted skin.

I carried her over to the bed, hovering over her as I lowered the cups of her bra, the material pushing her breasts up. I kissed her nipples, her fingers in my hair as she breathed heavily.

Then her hands were pushing her underwear down her legs as brown eyes stared back at me. I took a deep breath, my thumb finding her cheek.

"You sure?" I asked lowly.

"More than sure," she answered, pulling me over her.

My jeans fell to the floor, along with my underwear. I fumbled blindly for the pack of condoms I now knew to be in the first drawer of my bedside cabinet, not willing to detach my lips from hers and look.

A foil packet was ripped open with eager fingers – hers not mine. She'd apparently had enough of my fumbling.

I took it from her, _need_ hurrying my movements. I slid it down my length, her eyes glued to my movements the whole time.

She laid back, her chest rising and falling, brushing against mine as I lowered myself to her.

And then I was inside her, the desire and relief making my breath catch. Our actions weren't slow like before; they were fast, driven by wanting more.

She was trying to be quiet, her arms around my neck as her mouth pressed tightly to my skin. I wanted it harder.

I increased the pace of my thrusts, wanting to feel her come apart. She hadn't the first two times, but I could feel the difference now.

My arms met around her back as I swapped our positions, shifting us both until she was on top.

I moved my hands to her hips, guiding her, but her actions slowed. "I'm not sure..." she started, lip now between teeth.

"Just do what feels good," I urged, running my hands up her thighs.

She leaned forward slightly, the change of angle causing me to bite back a groan, her palms warm against my already heated skin. They pushed down lightly every time she rocked forward.

I met her pace, thrust for thrust, and soon her once steady actions started to waver. I gathered her skirt at her waist, watching where we were joined before moving a hand down to touch that sensitive spot.

It was enough.

"That's... oh, God..._ Oh, God." _

Whispered words left her mouth as she came, back arched as her face tilted to the ceiling. I thrust a few more times, hard... harder than before, and then joined her in bliss.

I caught her body as she fell forward, her head resting lazily against my chest. I wanted to sit here all night... hold her... but I couldn't.

With a kiss to her forehead, I pushed her hair back from her face and whispered against her skin.

"We need to get dressed," I said regretfully, sighing.

"I know," she replied, letting go of her own sigh.

I held her as I pulled out, missing the feel of her almost instantly.

I left her to change as I gathered my own things and headed for the bathroom to clean up.

We never had enough time to just _be_, and I knew most of it was my own fault. But I was getting caught up in a relationship that I hadn't bargained for... hadn't expected. And now when I kissed her, it feel so natural, like second nature... like I'd been doing it for years. Like I never wanted to stop.

When I emerged from the bathroom, the bedroom door was now open... a cover now in place. Only closed doors... locked doors, were to be suspected.

As I sat on the middle of the bed... her on the edge... always with appearances, she smiled meekly and pushed the bag towards me.

"Wait," she said, pulling out an unwrapped book. "If anyone asks, this is the gift I got you, okay?"

I glanced at the cover – Pride and Prejudice. I immediately started laughing.

"I thought it was fitting, remembering your _love_ for it."

I shook my head, and waved it in my hand. "Thanks."

She indicated again to the bag. "Your actual gift is in there."

"I hadn't expected you to get me anything," I said honestly, pulling out a smallish box. It was decorated in shiny gold paper, no torn corners.

I pulled the wrapping away and opened the nondescript cardboard packaging. Inside sat a mini replica of a grand piano.

"It's a music box," she explained as I pulled it out. "I didn't know what to buy you, but I knew you liked music, so..."

I glanced up at her from beneath my lashes and lifted the lid as directed. Familiar music floated out – Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata.

"I know it's kind of silly -" she started - I interrupted her with a raised palm. There was an inscription etched on the underside if the lid.

_To Edward,_

_I hope you get everything you ask for this Christmas._

_Love, Bella._

I swallowed heavily and met her gaze.

"It's not," I answered after reading it a second time. I looked towards the door, listening for any noise, and leaned forward.

"I love it," I assured her, sliding my hand into her hair as I pulled her mouth to mine.

Now I guessed it was my turn.

"I, uh... I have something for you, too," I voiced, clearing my throat.

I opened the second drawer of the bedside cabinet and reached for the blue box hidden beneath some old essays.

I passed it to her quickly, taking her hand and placing it in her palm. I felt awkward, and uneasy. I'd never given a gift to a girl _like this_ before. In third grade I'd given my friend Samantha a flower I'd picked from Esme's garden. By the time I'd gotten to her house, the thing had wilted - she loved it anyway.

I really hoped Bella would feel the same way.

The hint of surprise in her features were obvious. She didn't look up at me as she opened it, or after she'd viewed what lay nestled inside. I moved to the edge of the bed, my elbows on my knees as my legs bounced lightly.

Why wasn't she saying anything.

"If you don't like it, you can exchange it or whatever. I think I still have the receipt somewhere," I explained, wondering where I would have put it.

"You picked this out yourself?" she questioned, running a finger on the little charms.

I scratched my jaw. "Uh, yeah. I saw it and thought you might like it."

"It's perfect," she breathed, picking it up. "Will you put it on for me?" She held out her wrist, the bracelet in her palm.

I felt my lips turn up a little, happy that she didn't throw it in my face, or any of the other ridiculous shit I'd come up with in regards to her opening it.

It took me a few tries to join the damn links, which earned me a giggle from her lips. "There," I said when the thing was finally secure on her wrist.

She slid the now-empty box into the bag she'd brought my gift up in, and went to crawl over to me when footsteps and bad singing seemingly appeared from nowhere.

She shot backwards, as did I, which was stupid as I was already close to my headboard as it was. I picked up the music box, feeling like shit as I hid it under the bed. If Bella felt hurt by it, she didn't let it show.

I tried to look casual as Alice skipped into the room, one of the microphones still in her hand, despite it not being actually plugged into anything. Jazz wasn't far behind her, looking mildly apologetic as he stepped inside.

"So, what did you get," she asked me, jumping onto the bed.

"A book," I shrugged, holding it out for Alice to see.

"Pride and Prejudice?" she questioned with a giggle.

"He made a remark about it in biology a few months back, so I thought it was a good idea to try and change his mind," Bella smirked.

"Oh, Edward. Mr. Darcy is so... well, he's actually kind of an asshole at first, but then he grows on you. Well, actually I felt drawn to him even when he was an asshole," she laughed.

"Anyway. What did you get, Bella?" she queried, cocking her head to the side as she glanced at the empty bed.

I saw Bella pull the sleeve of her sweater over her wrist as I replied. "I didn't," I shrugged, hating myself the whole time.

"You're such an idiot sometimes," Alice admonished. "I'll help you pick something out after the new year." She carried on talking, listing off ideas to the three us.

Bella nodded, and laughed and smiled throughout, but instead of feeling relief as she did so, I felt cold.

She shouldn't have to lie or pretend. She shouldn't have to hide a gift behind the blue wool of her sweater. She deserved better.

I wanted to be the person who made her laugh, who made her smile, and not for reasons I felt I had to hide.

However, the biggest problem was: _thinking_ these things were a lot easier than _doing_ them.

The real test had yet to come.

* * *

**Reviews will get a teaser for the next chapter.**

**This weeks rec: 'We Were Here' by lola-pops. I have a big crush on this Edward.**

**Thanks so much for reading. ****VHL xx**


	31. Chapter 31

**Hey everyone! I'm so sorry this chapter has taken me so long to get out; the words were evading me. (Hello, bad joke).**

**Thank you to my amazing beta Susan - she is the bees knees. And thanks to jedigirlsc for prereading and being my Julie... or Avis. Either one. ;)**

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns Twilight and all its characters. She doesn't, however, own my awesome funky monkey pyjamas.**

* * *

Bella

The view from the kitchen window was one of winter morning perfection. The snow had melted, but the lawn still shone in places, the reflected light bright and golden. Frost clung to the blades of grass, the very tips gleaming. The window was open despite the chill, but I welcomed the fresh air. I knew _cold_ couldn't have a scent, but I loved the smell left lingering on my coat after a walk in this type of weather.

I took a deep breath and resisted the urge to tuck my hair behind my ears.

It felt like I'd been baking all day, when in reality, it had only been a couple of hours. My hands were covered in flour as I rolled dough and mixed ingredients, the ache in my arms not stopping me from keeping the pin steady. I would pause long enough to blow a few loose strands of hair that had escaped from my braid as they tickled my cheeks and irritated my lashes, before starting again.

I was determined to get the food finished earlier rather than later, especially if I wanted to get them over to Esme before the afternoon. My haste may have also been due to my eagerness to see Edward – I seemed to want his company more and more as the days went by. And this day was no exception.

New Year's Eve had always been a favourite of mine growing up with my mom. We would settle in for the night with movies and colourful drinks with those mini umbrellas that I always managed to stab myself with by the end of the night, and I would laugh as she impersonated Barbra Streisand.

'What's Up Doc?' was always a must.

My drinks were of course fruit juice only, not that it ever bothered me; someone had to remember to blow the candles out at the end of the evening.

At some point into the night, party hats would be donned - the elastic on mine always snapping. When the clock struck midnight, we would let off party poppers as we watched the ball drop in Times Square from the TV. And even when Phil came onto the scene, that didn't change. Although, I did have to start putting up with them exchanging kisses, which was gross.

At least with the countdown audible from the TV, I'd always known when to look away.

It turned out Renee wasn't the only person I knew who believed in positive starts to the New Year. Even though I wouldn't get to spend it with my Mom this time - she and Phil were off to Vegas - I would get the next best thing.

Esme had invited some of the neighbours over to the Cullen's for food and fireworks. Because I wanted to keep some aspects of my night the same – I'd always made pies and cakes back in Phoenix – I had eagerly offered to make some for tonight.

Another reason was I knew it would keep me busy, and in turn, would hopefully stop my thoughts drifting from the task at hand.

No such luck.

I hadn't been able to get Edward out of my head. The good, the bad, the smiles, the glares - the way he touched me when no one else was around... just, _everything_.

Christmas day kept resurfacing; the feelings I'd experienced in his room as we exchanged gifts - as we hid everything that had transpired - never left. All I needed to do was look down at my wrist and the glinting silver chain attached, and I would relive it all.

The look upon his face as he opened my present to him had been unexpected. I'd been sure he'd think it silly, and maybe smile to appease me, but nothing more. So when he'd genuinely looked to have liked it, my anxieties had lessened, falling away like a gliding feather in the breeze.

And his gift... his gift left my speechless. A lump had formed in my throat, the sensation making it difficult to swallow - I hadn't anticipated anything from him.

The need I felt to have his lips pressed to mine; to grasp his hair between my fingers and feel his breath on my skin, had caused me to forget about the others in the house for the second time that night. The muffled sounds of footsteps on the stairs had resulted in an item engraved with both our names being pushed beneath his bed, hidden from eyes that did not know. False smiles were worn, not because of the sudden company, but because of what my heart was telling me.

That moment made everything appear so clear. The sun had pushed its way between the clouds and brought the drawbacks to light. While I hoped what we had was verging towards more, it still wasn't enough for him to want to be open about it. However, I couldn't blame _just_ him. _I'd_ agreed and even wanted to keep it a secret myself, at least for a little while.

I knew I should stop thinking about it and enjoy the _now_; enjoy the way he made my body feel warm and full with a single smile. But I couldn't seem to stop worrying. What were his main reasons apart from not wanting his family to get involved? What was worrying him, holding him back? There had to be more, because otherwise he'd just be doing it because he could - because now, after everything, I'd let him. He'd have control over something that had become bigger than either of us expected.

Was he afraid? Did he not like me enough? Was this just fun to him? I knew I'd never get the answers to those questions unless I outright asked him, but that wasn't what we did. And even if I managed to speak the thoughts inside my head, would he answer them truthfully?

He was different, yet the same, my own rationalizations no longer making sense. I knew he was trying, and maybe that was where the _difference_ came into play, but then he'd shut me out and close himself off, becoming distant once again.

There was so much I still didn't know about him, some small and maybe pointless to others, but not to me. I mean, I didn't even know his favourite colour.

After I'd removed the three pies and large cake pan from the oven, I turned the page of the recipe book, eyeing the image of mini meringues filled with red fruits. The instructions were simple enough, and I had the ingredients, but I'd never made them before.

Sometimes even the simplest things could turn out to be the most difficult.

Deciding I'd attempt them, I grabbed a bowl and the electric mixer from the cupboard, before separating the eggs, the yolk disposed of. I started the mixer, beating the eggs as I added the required amount of sugar little by little.

And then halfway through, I screamed.

The appliance dropped from my hand, my thumb leaving the power button as it clattered to the counter.

What the hell just touched my back?

_Perhaps it's Charlie? No, he's at the station. Perhaps it's a dog? Wait, we don't have a dog, and if we did: big fucking dog._

I spun around, grasping the nearest thing in reach – a dish cloth. _Yeah, that'll scare the possible giant canine off._

Amused green eyes stared back at me, matched with that half-smile that my gaze always kind of lingered on. _Fucker._

"Jesus Christ, Edward!" My hand came to grasp a handful of my sweater, dish cloth and all. "You scared the crap out of me."

He took a step forward, his palms toward me. "Sorry, I did knock," he explained, pointing to the now slightly ajar back door. "But with that thing on you obviously didn't hear me."

"Yeah, no shit."

"I didn't mean to startle you," he added, taking another step, the smile still on his face.

"And you thought prodding me in the back was the answer?" I asked, eyebrow raised.

He shrugged. "Seemed like a good idea to me at the time."

I shook my head, taking a deep, and much needed calming breath. "Well it wasn't."

"I can see that," he expressed, removing my hand from my sweater as he took the dish cloth from me, holding it before me by its corner.

"What were you planning to do with this exactly?" he chuckled, giving it a slight wave for emphasis.

"Um... you know, defend myself."

"You realize you have a rolling pin behind you though, right?" I followed the line of his finger, and sure enough, the wooden utensil was just where I'd left it. _Huh._

"Yeah, but dish cloths can be full of bacteria and stuff if not soaked with bleach after using," I mumbled, voicing the first thing that came into my head.

"So you were hoping whoever was behind you was a germaphobe?" he asked incredulously. Again with that damn smile.

My fingers started picking at imaginary lint on my sweater sleeves. "I don't know, I panicked and reached for the first thing I could," I admitted, feeling my cheeks heat.

He quickly threw the cloth into the sink before sinking his hands into his pockets. "What are you doing here anyway?" I asked, peeking up at him from beneath my lashes.

I watched as he shifted on his feet and cleared his throat. "I was thinking of taking a run, and on my way past, I noticed Charlie's cruiser was missing from the driveway. I thought I'd come say _hi."_

I hid my smile. "You were going to run... in this weather... wearing your heavy coat?" I questioned, giving a tug to the dark fabric.

His hand found the back of his neck as he rolled his eyes. "Shut up."

This time I couldn't stop the grin from forming on my face.

"Did someone want to see me?" I teased, poking his stomach. "Huh?"

He sucked in his cheeks, glancing at me. "No."

"No? I think you're lying," I expressed, playing with the hem of his shirt, my fingers briefly touching bare skin.

His gaze met mine as he looked down at me, his face still capable of rendering me stupid. "Is that so?" he murmured, eyes darting to my mouth. I simply nodded.

He bent his head, bringing his lips within a breath of mine. "Well, I guess you'll never know," he uttered, before closing the distance.

My eyes closed on impulse, loving the feeling - I didn't think I could ever tire of kissing him. His palms framed my face as he backed me up against the counter, his lips unyielding. My tongue was in his mouth, teasing, as my hands fisted his shirt, trying to pull him closer. When he was _sweet_ like that with me, I'd lose all sense of time.

The phone ringing barely registered with me, but gradually the sound got louder, causing me to break away a little. I walked backwards, Edward's lips now attached to my throat as I fumbled blindly for the receiver.

"Edward," I breathed, wetting my lips. "I have to answer this in case it's Charlie."

"I'm not stopping you," he answered, not ceasing his attention to my skin.

_Deep breath, Bella._ "Hello?"

"Hey." _No, please not now._

I took another long breath as my hand found Edward's shoulder, attempting..._ something_. "Um, hi Jake," I greeted slowly.

At the sound of the name, the kisses momentarily stopped... for about all of ten seconds. They returned with a new desperation - _such_ a boy thing to do. I knew what he was doing, but there was no need. He already had me wholly.

"Are you okay? You sound a little... _weird_," Jake questioned, his voice sounding wary.

I couldn't concentrate with Edward touching me like this. I pulled away from him, not able to look him in the face and gauge his reaction. "I'm fine. I think I might be coming down with a cold though," I lied, closing my eyes. _So many lies..._

"Definitely the weather for it," he responded, his voice slightly muffled. "Anyway, I wanted to ask if you had plans for tonight. The guys and I will be hanging around here if you want to come down."

I rubbed my forehead with the heel of my palm, hating that I had to give him this answer. "I kind of already have plans," I replied, feeling that familiar guilt creep up to the surface.

I'd only seen Jake once after the dance, and that was the day after Christmas to exchange gifts. He'd given me another charm for the bracelet he'd bought me for my birthday... the bracelet that I'd forgotten all about until that reminder.

I still wore Edward's, unable to remove it and replace it - even for a day - with the one from Jacob. They both meant a lot to me, but at the time, one meant more. Part of me wanted to attach all the charms to a single chain, and wear it that way. They wouldn't know where the others had come from if they noticed - I could have simply picked them up myself. But each time I spotted that small heart shaped gem from Edward, wanting it to represent things I knew it didn't, I couldn't bear to mix the two. So now Jake's lay in my jewelry box along with other unused pieces, lid closed. And I felt terrible.

"I thought you would," he responded, sounding resigned. _Ouch, that one hurt._ "Are you spending it with Alice?"

"Yeah, I'll be next door," I answered, finally taking a peek at Edward - he was watching me intently.

"I should have asked ahead of time," he said. "Although, knowing Alice, I doubt that would have made much of a difference. I can't see her liking _no_ as an answer."

This time I could hear the smile in his voice, which caused my tight shoulders some relief as I blew out a breath. My own smile formed.

"No, she wouldn't," I said giggling. "But we can do something tomorrow, if you like?"

The offer came out naturally, but it was too late to take it back. And to be honest, I didn't know why I was panicking so much. It would be good to spend some time hanging out as friends... for the both of us.

It was slightly awkward between us still, but I couldn't cut off my ties with Jacob, he hadn't done anything wrong. He was a better friend than I deserved, and in that sense, I missed his easy going nature.

"Sounds good," he answered, his tone further brightening. "I'll give you a call tomorrow afternoon. Say, just after midday?"

"Yeah, that's perfect," I answered, uncurling the phone cord from my finger. "Bye, Jake."

"Bye, Bells."

I returned my attention to Edward, his gaze now firmly fixed on the view outside the window.

"Sorry," I breathed out, the apology impulsive. I didn't want him to be annoyed, which he clearly was, but what did he want me do? Surely he wouldn't react like this every time I made plans that didn't include him.

I made my way over to him, mimicking his stance by his side. We stayed like that for a few minutes, the silence between us heavy.

"Don't be angry," I whispered, finally no longer able to hold my tongue.

His head turned to face me, his brows slightly furrowed. "I'm not," he answered with a sigh.

"No? It looks like you are," I replied, cleaning the mess from the counter. I was no longer in the mood to make any more desserts.

"Well, that's all you, because I'm fine," he answered. His tone wasn't harsh, but it didn't stop his words from sounding so.

"Okay, I'm obviously imagining things then," I sighed, filling the sink with hot, soapy water.

"Evidently," he mumbled. Utensils hit the water with force as I dumped them harder than necessary into the suds, bubbles floating to the sides.

I gripped the counter, head bent, tired of this always happening between us. I knew it wouldn't be easy, especially with how everything started, but it still didn't stop me from feeling drained. I pushed past him, not bothering to say another word or see him out. He knew where the door was.

My feet hit the stairs is a steady succession, the door to my room soon slammed shut behind me. It was a childish move, but sometimes it got to be too much, and I needed that release.

I immediately crawled onto my bed above the covers, rolling to the side as I hugged a pillow to my chest. Maybe a few hours sleep wouldn't be such a bad idea.

Not long after my eyes had closed, I felt the bed dipping behind me. An arm came around my waist, but I didn't have to turn around to know who it was - his sigh gave him away.

I looked down, my fingers finding his. We lay like that, his hand in mine, neither one of us saying anything.

He left about twenty minutes later with a kiss to the back of my head, and it was enough... for now.

OoOoO

"Dad, you ready?" I shouted up the stairs, my hands full with the pies. I was leaving Charlie to carry the cake - I didn't trust myself not to drop that one.

My original plan to head next door early had been squashed by my spat with Edward this morning. It wasn't as bad as some of the previous fights we'd had – far from it in fact – but I was under the impression a little space wouldn't be a negative thing. I mean, he had every opportunity to stay with me earlier, but he'd chosen to leave instead.

Charlie treaded down the stairs, wearing what he liked to call his, 'best shirt'. It still looked odd to see him wearing anything other than his uniform or preferred plaid flannel.

"I take it this is for me to carry?" he asked, his moustache twitching as he indicated to the cake on the sideboard.

"Yeah," I replied with a smile, nudging the already open door open with my foot. "Don't drop it."

"Wouldn't dream of it," he chuckled, following me out the house.

It was cold out, but the brief bit of sun we had earlier in the day had at least kept everything dry. Charlie kept to my pace as we made our way next door, no doubt in case I tripped and fell on my butt.

He still hadn't mentioned anything about his 'friendship' with Sue Clearwater to me, although, a few times this week he had initiated small talk, which he only ever did when he had something particular on his mind. Part of me wanted to just ask him and get it over with, but I didn't want to force his hand. Hopefully he'd tell me soon though, because I didn't know how many more conversations on the benefits of having the right fishing bait I could handle.

We'd spent Christmas day at Sue's home; so I mean, how much more obvious could they get? Surely he didn't think I was that obtuse? I'd been seated beside Seth throughout dinner; he kept snickering and kicking me under the table every time Sue smiled at me after glancing at Charlie. Leah, on the other hand, was a lot quieter. She gave me a small nod as she joined the table, but apart from that, kept her attention on her food. I'd briefly considered that maybe she was angry with me for breaking up with Jacob - I knew they were close. But, then I remembered that she pretty much acted like that all previous times I'd been in her company.

Despite the fact she'd been keeping her attention off of all of us there, it hadn't stopped me from sneaking looks every now and then. I couldn't help but wonder what she was truly like with the people she spent her time with. And the thing that bugged me most was her 'relationship' with Edward. I'd asked him about it, of course, but he'd never given me a solid answer in reply, only that there were aspects to the situation that would upset a lot of people. Jacob had been insistent that they'd hooked up, but something told me that wasn't the case. Leah didn't seem the type to suffer fools gladly, and if Edward had played her around, I very much doubted she'd stick around to be friendly with him afterwards.

The Cullen house was lit up as we approached, noises drifting from inside. Just as I was about to ask Charlie to knock, the door flung open, revealing Emmett... in a long blonde wig, and pink lipstick.

"Err... hi, Em," I greeted, biting my bottom lip to stop myself from laughing.

"Bella," he grinned, sending me a wink before turning to Dad. "Chief, it's good to see you."

I glanced at Charlie, who was looking back at him with a straight face. But from the way his moustache was once again twitching, I could tell he was trying to keep his amusement at bay.

"Emmett," he nodded, stepping inside.

Esme appeared a few seconds later, taking the pies from my hands as she shook her head at her son.

"Stay away from that door," she said with a look only a mother could do. "You'll give Mrs. Jenson a shock if she sees you dressed like that."

He saluted, looking the picture of sincerity. I, however, didn't believe him for a second.

"These look delicious, Bella," Esme praised with a kiss to my cheek. I blushed, and shrugged lightly.

"Hopefully they'll taste okay," I laughed, embarrassed by the compliment.

"I better go set these down somewhere safe before this one here gets his hands on them," she whispered, tilting her head towards Emmett.

I smiled, which soon turned to a full blown laugh as Emmett opened the door to a very surprised looking man I didn't know. I left him to it, and made my way to the den where I knew Alice would be.

A few other people were there apart from the main family, most seemed a lot younger than me. I didn't recognise a lot of them, but two I did; Ben and Angela. I hadn't expected to see them, so I immediately went over, pulling her into a hug.

"I didn't know you'd be here," I expressed, pulling back to give Ben a warm smile.

"Ben's mom works at the hospital with Dr. Cullen," she explained, linking his hand with hers.

"We're not stopping long, as I have to be home," she grimaced, "but thankfully Ben doesn't mind spending tonight with my family."

He pulled a little face of his own as she smiled over at him. "Anyway, I just tagged along for a little while."

"Well, I'm glad you did," I said truthfully. I hadn't spoken to her much lately, what with her still relatively new relationship with Ben and my secret one with Edward. It was difficult to find the time for everyone.

I promised myself I'd try harder.

I chatted with them for a few more minutes before getting dragged into the arms of Jazz as he came up behind me, Alice in tow.

"Hey," I grinned, giving them both hugs and deciding to ask them the one question I'd forgotten to ask earlier. "Why's Emmett dressed like a woman?"

Alice rolled her eyes, indicating to Jazz with a wave in his direction. "He lost a bet with Jazz and Edward, and that was his forfeit or something. They're all idiots," she added.

"I think it suits him," Jazz laughed, kissing Alice's head as she sighed.

"Ooh, wait," Alice expressed, running over to a table before returning. "Here." She picked off a sticker – a little gold star – and pressed it to the top of my cheek.

"Uh, thanks," I said, confusion colouring my voice.

"I got them free with a magazine; they're cute," she shrugged. How had I not noticed the two already on her face?

"Where's Rose?" I asked, looking around the room to see if I could spot her - I couldn't.

Jazz rubbed the side of his head, glancing back towards the stairs. "She's upstairs with Mom somewhere, I think. Either that or she's keeping Em out of trouble."

"She wasn't with Em," I clarified, surprised to hear that their mother was here. I'd only met her once, and that was brief. Of course, I'd see her go back and forth to her car after returning home or leaving – more so with leaving - but other than that, she seemed to be a quiet figure around here.

"I'm pretty sure her date bailed on her, even though she denies it," Jazz continued, anger creeping into his voice. It was so unlike him.

"Hence why she's accepted Esme's invite here for the first time in years," he added.

I didn't really know what to say to make it better for him. He was obviously upset over her behaviour, but I couldn't exactly agree with his mother's faults because, after all, I didn't even know her. Instead, I gripped his hand in mine and gave him what I hoped was a comforting smile.

We made our way over to the couch, each of us taking a big handful of M&Ms from the dish in the center of the table.

A particularly gangly boy with jet black hair was shouting into his cell, something about level twenty, whatever the hell that was. "Who are these people?" I asked, giving a nod to cell boy.

"Offspring of my parents' work colleagues," Alice answered, her tongue stained with candy. "I usually end up with 'babysitting duties' every year because there's nowhere to go in this town.

"God, I can't wait until we all leave for college," she sighed, a faraway look appearing on her face.

That was something I was trying not to think of right now. Sure, I'd applied to a number of schools, but with everything as complicated as it was, I didn't really know where I'd end up. I knew you weren't supposed to make decisions based off friends and the people you loved, but that was a lot easier said than done.

Alice and Jasper were definitely going to end up going to the same college, granted they both got into the same places, of course, which was more than likely. And I knew the same would apply for Rose and Em. Then, there was the fact that Rose and Jazz wouldn't want to be far away from each other either, or apart at all in fact.

They seemed to have everything already kind of figured out without even trying, while I still didn't have a clue.

I took another handful of chocolate, my eyes unconsciously drifting to the stairs every few minutes the longer we sat there talking.

"Is Edward not home tonight?" I queried, trying to sound casual. He said he would be, but I still hadn't seen him, and that part of me that still didn't know if I could completely trust him, kicked into high gear at his lack of show.

I knew about that saying, '_you can't call it love until you can trust',_ but quite frankly, I thought it was bullshit. I was fully aware of my feelings for Edward in that sense, and whether I yet trusted him, made no ounce of difference to the outcome. Would I feel more secure in his feelings for me if I did? Yes. Would I feel less anxious? Again, yes. But did it stop the way he made me feel breathless and giggly and utterly head over heels? No.

"He was here earlier with Ben," Jasper answered, leaning forward in his seat to meet my eyes. "He's probably just in the kitchen eating or something." _Why so serious all of a sudden, Jazz?_

"Right," I nodded, gripping my knees. "Speaking of food..." I got to my feet, attempting to pull Alice up from the couch as she held her hands out to me, resulting in me nearly falling on top of her.

"Don't let me stop you girls," Jazz grinned, giving us both an exaggerated wink.

"You're such a pervert," I said, wrinkling my nose playfully. Alice took my hand, laughing as she started suggesting new nicknames for him as she led me up the stairs.

I spotted Charlie in the lounge as we made our way to the kitchen, and low and behold, he was talking to Sue. I smiled, shaking my head as I wondered if he'd ever get over his embarrassment to speak to me about something like his... _girlfriends_. Shudder.

My gaze immediately flitted around the space upon entry, searching for my familiar. I swiftly found him. He was talking to Seth in the corner of the room, drink in his hand. My instincts were screaming for me to go to him, to meet his eyes which would hopefully let me know if everything was okay. Instead, I picked up a plate and filled it with food, taking things I knew I wouldn't eat.

Rose joined me as I pulled up a stool at the breakfast bar, picking food off my plate - I didn't want to leave and go back downstairs where_ he_ wouldn't be.

I didn't know if he'd seen me, but then, he _must_ have... I was there; so did that mean he just didn't want to come over? He was in a conversation, so it's not like he was ignoring me, per se. But then, why did I feel like he _was_?

A hand came into my vision, tearing me away from my insecurities. "Hello, Earth to Bella."

Rose was watching me with one brow raised, ripping a chunk off a bread roll before submerging it into the cheesy dip. "You okay?" she enquired, closing her mouth to chew.

I nodded, popping half a cherry tomato into my mouth as Alice's laugh drifted from the other side of the room. "Fine," I answered after finishing, reaching for the other half.

Rose continued to pick from my plate, smacking Em's hand away when he tried to do the same. "Seriously, Emmett, there's a whole table of food right behind you. Get your own."

"Says the girl who's eating someone else's food," he retorted, puckering his still bright pink lips at her.

"Ugh, get out of my face," she huffed, pressing her palm to his cheek, which soon was brought to his mouth. Her expression cracked, her lips morphed into a smile as Em captured her lips with his.

Someone suddenly snickered to the left of me, his face coming into view as he sat beside me. "I didn't know you played for the other team, Rose," Edward smirked, his fingers drumming on the countertop. "If I'd known sooner, I may have liked you a little more."

I took a sip of my drink, trying not to laugh as she flipped him the finger in reply. "Funny, I'd still feel the same way about you."

He brought his glass to his mouth, his tongue peeking out between his lips. "Lies," he mock frowned.

"Hah." She peeked over our heads, getting to her feet with a sigh.

"I better go intervene before that guy with the bald head makes a move on Mom."

"I'll take care of this," Em announced, fluffing out his wig. I could only imagine what he was about to go do. Rose laughed heartily, following behind him.

Edward didn't leave, but he didn't talk either. However, I soon felt the warmth of his hand on my knee, his fingers moving over my skin. I was wearing a simple dress Renee had sent me for Christmas, paired with a cute black jacket.

"Why were you hiding up here?" I asked after a few minutes, pushing my plate away from me a little.

"I wasn't hiding," he replied, his hand moving further up my leg - I was instantly thankful we were sitting there where our bodies were partially hidden.

My own hand went under the counter, resting atop his lightly. "It felt like it," I admitted in a whisper.

I turned my head to look at him, finding his eyes already on me. "What, just because I wasn't by your side as soon as you stepped through the door, you immediately think I'm hiding? Jesus Christ, Bella," he sighed, his jaw tensing.

"Well, I never know what you're thinking," I retorted in a harsh whisper. "Take earlier for example: you obviously had a problem with my making plans with Jake. But when I asked you if you were okay, you said you were fine, despite the fact you clearly weren't."

He simply stared back at me, eyes darting about my face. "You want to know what I'm really thinking right now?" he asked me, expression dark and serious. I nodded.

"I think you're the most infuriating, stubborn... _beautiful_ girl in my life. You're always inside my head; your face, your name. You think I'm hard to read, well let me tell you something: you are too, maybe even more so.

"Is that honest enough for you? Or do you want me to continue?"

My heart was racing, my cheeks were warm. I felt that fluttering in my stomach that shot tingles throughout my body. Emotions were surging, bursting forth... _three words_. I wanted to tell him so much it hurt to keep them back.

But there was no way I could say that to him here... _now,_ in_ this_ room. I couldn't throw my arms around his neck and press my mouth to him as I whispered my feelings against his skin. I couldn't ask him to hold me and touch me and make me feel more, more, more.

This time it was my turn to hide.

"I wish..." my words died, my fingers digging into his hand. He turned his hand palm up, squeezing back.

"You wish what?"

My lips parted as I stared back at him, my head filled with internal curses. _Why did I say anything? _

I realized I was being unfair... a hypocrite - more so, after I'd just accused him of keeping himself locked up. But this was so much more than wondering whether he was still angry with me. This was love and heartache and fear. It was everything.

And then Em was back, and I'd never been so thankful for his interruption.

"We're heading down for a few games of pool. I've already called dibs on you being my partner." He winked at me, the lipstick now rubbed off his mouth. He was, however, still sporting the wig.

I belatedly, yet hastily, removed my hand from Edward's hold, his fingers moving to grip my knee. It was a, _'finish your thought', _it was a, _'stay, don't leave'._

I got to my feet, removing myself from his touch, giving him no other option but to follow behind me... and wait. I'd eventually tell him; of this I was now sure. I was already finding it difficult, almost impossible even, to stop myself from retelling the shoutings of my heart. It would come soon, unbidden or not. But I wanted to tell him privately, away from persons that I loved differently.

If he was to run, or not return my sentiments, I wanted to be able to hold it together long enough until I could be alone. If the worst did happen, I needed to be able to fall apart away from prying eyes, because if not, the waves would crash again and again, relentless... overwhelming, and everything that I'd kept hidden would scatter to shore for everyone to see. And all this, all of it, would have been for nothing.

We must have been playing pool for a good couple of hours, the time filled with playful banter and laughs. Seth partnered up with Edward – they were kicking all our butts.

"Remind me to pick Seth next time," Emmett whispered over to me with a grin. I pushed at his arm with a roll of my eyes, making a grab for my cue when it slipped from my fingers.

Em laughed at me loudly, drawing attention our way. I blushed and gave him a half serious scowl. _Thanks Bucko. _

"Why the red cheeks, Bella?" Seth smiled, making matters worse.

"No reason. Emmett's just being irritating," I joked, looking at my partner with raised brows.

"It's not my fault you're so clumsy," he replied, putting his arm around my shoulders.

"I'm not that bad," I giggled – even I didn't believe that.

"I know you're not clumsy in _everything_," Edward suddenly interjected, whispering into my ear so only I could hear.

I felt my cheeks heat further, praying that no one noticed.

He was rubbing chalk onto the top if the cue, acting nonchalant, but his comment affected me more than I was letting on. Sudden visions of skin on skin, and hands places that made me moan flitted through my head, making me ache.

"What did he say?" Seth asked, booing playfully when Jasper made a pot.

"Nothing, Edward was just teasing me," I answered, hoping he would leave it at that.

"Kids, firework time!" a voice shouted down the stairs. It sounded very much like Carlisle. I hadn't even noticed he was there... my head had been too full with Edward.

"Oh, yes!" Emmett shouted, running off towards the stairs without waiting for anyone. Jazz wasn't too far behind.

I shook my head, exchanging a smile with Seth as we all made our way up to the main part of the house.

"What is it with boys and explosives," Rose murmured in general, sweeping her hair from her cheeks.

"Hey, I'm a boy and I didn't go running," Seth interrupted, his finger pointed inward at his chest.

"Yeah, well you don't count," Alice said with a nudge to his arm, her voice teasing.

"What?" he said laughing, "Why not?"

"Because you're younger," Rose replied, giving him a pointed look.

"That doesn't even make any sense."

She smiled. "I never said it had to."

"Get used to that," Edward added, keeping his gaze forward. "Girls very rarely make sense."

"I'm starting to see that."

That was a jab at me; there was no doubt about it. "Neither do you," I expressed, watching my breath fog out in front of me.

"Truer words have never been spoken," Alice agreed while zipping up her coat. "Ugh, I better go talk Jazz out of begging to light those things," she continued with a point in his direction.

"Drag Em away with you," Rose shouted after her.

Thankfully Esme had already begun to shoo them away, but not before removing the blonde wig from Emmett's head with a victorious smile.

Alice huddled up to my side, her arm now linked through mine. Pairs started forming, ready or expectant for the kiss that was shared at midnight. I spotted Charlie at the edge of the crowd; he looked a little uncomfortable, but then I saw him gaze down at Sue with an expression I'd only seen him give to Mom. And suddenly I didn't think it was so gross anymore.

As the first firework exploded into the night - filling the darkness with flashes of colour - it hadn't occurred to me to crane my head back and watch as the pinks and blues danced above us. Instead, I found myself fixated on Edward - his eyes seemed so much darker than the now familiar green out there.

My heart pounded, the beat loud in my ears, and it was soon accompanied with the overwhelming noise of more fireworks as they were sent hurtling upwards.

His head tilted towards the ground; he wasn't going to look my way. But then his eyes found mine... and held my stare. He didn't move nearer, his feet remained where they were. I knew nothing would happen – it couldn't – but it still didn't stop me from wanting it.

Did he want it too?

My gaze finally drifted as the cheers of, 'Happy New Year' floated around us, high pitched and filled with excitement. I accepted hugs and kisses to the cheek when given, but my own were half-hearted. Thankfully, no one seemed to notice; they were too caught up in the smiles of their others.

I wanted that – the ease and happiness, the show of affection in front of our nearest and dearest. I wanted it so much that I had to take several deep breaths to stop myself from doing something I knew would bring about pain and confusion to those beside me.

My eyes finally sought out the sky above, my arms moving to wrap around myself as I simply watched and willed... waited for something I knew wouldn't come.

I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket. _HNY Bells! Also Quil and Embry say hi. J xx_

I quickly typed a response back, telling him much the same thing before getting pulled into more hugs, some with people I didn't actually know.

I finally got around to Edward, whose arms pulled me close as soon as I was in reaching distance. "Happy New Year, Bella," he whispered, his lips brushing against my ear, making me feel warm all over.

At that moment, we wouldn't look odd – everyone was hugging everyone. I relished being able to hold him like that and pressed my nose against his collarbone before pulling away.

Then he was hugging someone else.

The crowd eventually dispersed, families leaving to return to their homes.

"Are you coming, kiddo? Or are you staying a little longer?" Charlie asked.

"I need to say bye to everyone. You go on ahead; I'll walk home with Seth?" I turned to look at the boy beside his mother, silently asking if that was okay.

"I'll make sure she gets home safely, Chief," he assured. I rolled my eyes.

"We live right next door."

"Technically, I live across the street," he smiled, hand on his chin. "Perhaps you should walk me home."

I laughed, turning to see Charlie and Sue looking at the both of us with a smile. "I'll see you at home soon."

Dad nodded, and spoke to Carlisle and Esme briefly before heading around the side of the house.

"Let's go say bye then, Trouble," I said with a nudge to Seth's shoulder.

"Okay, but let me walk first, just in case of unforeseen danger."

"You're such a dork," I snorted, covering my face with my hands when he started doing hand chop movements as he walked.

I ran to catch him up, grabbing his arm to pull him along with me. "That's enough Karate Kid."

Alice pouted when I said I wasn't staying, which made me consider changing my mind. But really, all I wanted at this point was to sleep in my own bed in my own room.

I thanked Esme and Carlisle, my legs nearly giving out when Carlisle kissed my cheek. _Crap, did a random sound just leave my mouth? I should play it off as a cough just to be safe_. _Also_, _I wonder how weird it would be if I asked him to kiss the other cheek too? I mean, that's the way the French do it. I could pull off French. Perhaps if I start speaking some of the language he may get inspired? I can remember a few words from a course Renee took a few years back: Bonjour, douche maison..._ _which I'm pretty sure translates as, 'hello, shower house'._

_I'll definitely have to work on it and get back to him._

Thankfully, I was saved from embarrassing myself any further, as Seth blushed profusely when Esme placed a kiss to _his_ cheek. He hurried us away pretty quickly after that.

Edward was leaning against his dad's car as we made our way to the front of the house, his long legs slightly stretched out in front of him. He was on his phone, which immediately made my heart drop: who was he texting at this hour?

"Where's your sister tonight?" I asked Seth as we neared the end of the driveway, the moon bright in the sky.

"She's down at the res."

"You didn't want to go down?" I inquired, pausing at the edge of the sidewalk in front of my house.

He smiled. "Mom wanted me to stay with her tonight. I think it was more so it didn't look like she and Charlie went together or whatever."

"Parents," I teased with a roll of my eyes. He made the universal 'crazy' sign, twirling his finger by his temple.

"I'm glad you came," I added, giving him a friendly jab on the arm. "Do you want me to watch you cross the street?" I grinned.

He scowled playfully. "Night, Bella."

I laughed, turning on my heel as I ran up the steps and pushed open the door, noticing the light still on in the kitchen.

"Dad?" I shouted, closing the door behind me.

"In here!" he called from the kitchen. I popped my head around the door; he was sitting at the table with coffee and a crossword.

"You'll never sleep drinking that stuff now," I warned, nodding towards his mug.

"I'm not tired," he answered, filling in a blank. "Result of too many night shifts; body's got used to being awake at this time."

"Try not to stay up too late though." He harrumphed, smiling.

"Alright," he answered, crinkling out the page.

I got a quick glass of water, saying goodnight as I exited the room.

"Night, Bells."

I brushed my teeth and changed into my pyjamas, and was just about to pull the covers back when a tapping started at my window. I fumbled for my lamp, highlighting the shadow beyond the glass. I wasn't startled like last time, I knew who it was. I quickly locked my door and put the radio on to block out the noise of fist on glass, praying he wouldn't fall from the damn tree in the meantime.

"What are you doing?" I hissed after cranking up the window to let him through. "Charlie's downstairs."

Edward dropped down onto the carpet with ease, turning to shut the window after him.

"I asked you to leave it open for me," he accused, completely ignoring my question.

I frowned and crossed my arms over my chest. "Err, no you didn't."

"Err, yes I did," he repeated in a mocking tone. "I sent you a text."

"I didn't get one," I said adamantly.

"Well I sent it."

I thought back to him leaning against the car, phone in hand, not even thirty minutes ago. _Oh._

I searched my jacket for my cell, the screen black: _dead battery_.

"My phone's dead," I muttered, throwing it on my desk. "I didn't even notice."

"Evidently." His eyes followed me as I sat on the end of the bed and lay back until my back hit the mattress.

"What did you want anyway?" I asked, my eyes trained on the ceiling.

"To see you," he answered slowly, the tinkling of objects being moved filling my ears.

"You just saw me," I stated, my toes brushing against the carpet.

"Yeah, but that was different. We weren't alone then," he answered simply.

"Okay, well what was so important that we had to be alone?"

He didn't answer right away, what was he doing? I pushed myself up on my elbows, raising a brow at him in question. Suddenly he was all movement.

"This."

He landed on the bed next to me, but didn't stay there for long. His body was soon covering mine, hands touching and tickling, causing me to cry out in laughter.

"Shh," he whispered before pressing his lips to mine. And I did.

Myfingers immersed themselves into his hair, pulling his face closer. I opened my mouth to his tongue, moaning as his hands gripped my hips, fingertips stroking my skin. I felt lighter, the anxieties of the night momentarily drifting away.

I locked my legs around him, whimpering as he pressed his hardness between my thighs. His lips were darker in colour as he pulled back, a result from my kisses; I wanted to make them even darker.

"That's what I wanted," he breathed out, bringing my bottom lip into his mouth with his teeth. He pushed my shirt up my stomach, past my breasts, over my head. My nipples reacted to the change of temperature, his tongue soon teasing one, and then the other.

"Let me make you feel good." His breath was warm against my skin, driving me crazy.

"You already are," I whispered, my back arching off the bed as he continued.

His lips started to descend, dragging down my skin, between my breasts, lower and lower. My breaths came faster as his tongue followed the line of my underwear, bringing goose bumps to my skin.

More clothing was removed, his hands running over and across my thighs, my stomach. And then his mouth was right _there, _attempting to take away the ache_._ He held my hips to the bed as I tried to push against his tongue again and again, my lip caught between my teeth as I bit hard to stop myself from screaming when his fingers found that best spot inside of me.

My eyes closed, unable to keep them open any longer. I felt like I couldn't breathe; couldn't do anything but silently beg for him to make me come and plead for him to never stop. But stop he did.

He stood, his clothing shed _so _fast. And then he was back between my legs, condom in his hand as he slid it over his length. His eyes found mine, a silent question asked. I opened my legs further, pulling him to me, my hands pressing him closer and closer.

He entered me slowly, but his movements became quick, his breath hitting my lips again and again as he switched from kissing me to simply touching lips.

"You feel so good," he breathed out, his eyes squeezing shut so tight that the skin crinkled at the corners.

My hands found his ass, pushing him even deeper, making us both groan out.

"Don't stop, don't stop, don't stop," I choked out, lips parting as it all became too much.

I came apart with my hands gripping his, lost in green as he shook above me and found his own release, eyes begging him to never leave.

I wanted him, always.

* * *

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	32. Chapter 32

**Hey everyone! I'm so sorry I couldn't send out teasers this time - I changed my mail, which resulted in my reviews being eaten. (fuckers).**

**Also, thank you so much to all of you who have taken a look at my new fic. I really appreciate all your reviews and alerts. :)**

**Huge thank you to my amazing beta Susan - she has the best accent ever. (I'm still so jealous). **

**And thanks to the lovely jedigirlsc for prereading. I love that she takes time out to do this for me.**

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns Twilight and all its characters. She doesn't, however, own this bueno I'm currently about to eat. Om nom nom.**

* * *

Edward

I watched as the smoke furled into the air, a weightless grey against the blush tinged sky. The sun was out, a warmth coating the senses; a rare but welcomed day in Forks. Rays filtered through the misshaped branches of the large tree I was standing beneath, creating patterns of bright yellow on the grass underfoot. As I dropped my cigarette to the ground, ash scattered like petals falling from a flower in the breeze.

The parking lot was full; more vehicles were arriving by the minute, some belonging to students, the others to the unenthusiastic-looking teachers that regaled us with the approved curriculum throughout the day.

A yawn escaped through my parted lips as I leaned my head back against the textured bark, eyes lazy as they trailed from one person to the next.

It was entirely my own fault I was feeling so tired this morning; I'd insisted on another late night visit to Bella's bedroom... or rather _Bella,_ herself. A small smile, unbidden in its appearance, formed at my mouth, remembering the now familiar look of disapproval as I'd tapped my knuckles against her window once more. Sure, I could have used the door last night – Charlie hadn't been home – but where would the fun have been in that? I'd become fond of that _almost_ glare that expressed more worry than hate. More anger than aversion. The same look that turned into something entirely different when she kissed me with her hands fisted on my chest.

I'd touched the skin at the small of her back, soft beneath my fingertips as I explored in sweeping movements, my body guiding hers backwards until we either fell or came to a standstill. Either way, my body needed that contact with hers, for however many seconds she'd allow.

I hadn't stayed long, maybe an hour at the longest, but it had been enough to quell that urge that always seemed to arise every time she wasn't with me.

Em's Jeep pulled into the lot, breaking me out of my thoughts. I pushed myself away from the tree, picking up my bag from its current spot at my feet to hitch onto my shoulder.

I could see Alice talking excitedly with Bella about something, but unlike Alice, Bella's eyes were on me, watching my arrival. Her expression let me know in no uncertain terms that she wanted to talk to me.

I'd only been able to speak to her very briefly this morning; the atmosphere in the house was tense after an argument with Carlisle had arisen.

Nothing notable had set it into motion; it had simply been down to tiredness on both our parts. I'd grumbled about something inconsequential, like the fact he'd used the last of the milk for his coffee, and that had been that. His slightly raised voice had instigated my own shouting, and words - dripped in anger and sarcasm - had fled my mouth in incensed haste.

I'd said things I shouldn't have, the guilt now chipping away at me piece by piece. His expression had changed so suddenly, my accusations a slap to the face, a smarting sting left to linger.

Bella had chosen that very moment to enter through the back door, finding us as we were: angry, deflated... upset.

It resulted with Carlisle walking from the room, the silence left behind a painful reminder.

Bella had asked questions, _of course_ she had, but I'd been unable to answer them. Rose and Jasper had unknowingly interrupted her attempts at a second try, and I'd taken that opportunity to leave earlier than usual for school to avoid anything further.

I had avoided her because I didn't know if I wanted to divulge the past. I doubted Alice or Em had said anything to Bella about any of it; after all, it happened years ago. And while I'm sure they still thought about it, I didn't think it wasn't something that followed them around. I had seen it firsthand and had been_ so_ angry with our father for _so_ long. I'd been young and impulsive and had refused to see reason. Of course,_ now_ Iknewdifferently and _knew_ it wasn't his fault. Even if he hadn't left for work that day, the same events would have still occurred. The same outcome would have still come to pass. The only difference would have been that I'd have realized there was no fault to blame a lot sooner... maybe I never would've placed any at his door in the first place.

I had to stop bringing up events of the past to hurt him with. It was cruel and petty and hurtful. And despite the fact the words came time and time again, I hated myself for them every time afterwards.

"Where were you this morning, huh?" Alice asked, poking me in the stomach.

"Err, at home. Where were you?" I repeated, my tone teasing.

She looked back at me with slightly narrowed eyes. "No,_ I_ was at home. I didn't see _you _though," she accused. "Ew, wait, actually, I don't want to know. If you were off with one of your skanks, keep it to yourself."

"Agreed," Rose added as she helped Em undo the buttons to the cuffs of his shirt.

My hand found its way into my hair as I glanced briefly at the other girl opposite me. She was staring straight back, brown eyes unyielding.

"I left early for school," I shrugged.

Alice didn't look convinced. "Uh huh."

"No, he did," Bella interjected. "He was in the kitchen when I arrived at your house."

My smile was smug as I turned back to my twin. "I'll take that apology anytime."

A small huff left her mouth. "You'll be waiting a long time for it," she said with a twinkle in her blue eyes.

"I forgot that _sorry_ wasn't in your verbal 'dictionary'," I laughed, nudging her arm with my elbow.

She grinned. "No it is, just not to _you_."

"Or _me,_ come to think of it," Jasper piped up.

"Oh really?" Alice said slowly, raising a brow. "I remember saying that exact word just yesterday when I accidently used too much teeth-"

"Don't you dare finish that sentence," Em threatened with his hand over her mouth. "I don't want to lose my breakfast."

Bella was biting her lip, trying not to laugh, while Jasper looked back at his girlfriend in amused shock.

"Let's start walking," Rose suggested, pushing her brother forward as he grabbed Alice's arm.

I held back, only continuing again when Bella was beside me. "Are you okay?" she asked as soon as the others were out of hearing distance.

"Yeah, fine," I replied, eyes on the ground.

"You didn't look it this morning," she expressed with a sigh. "You know you can tell me anything, right?"

I fought the urge to squeeze my eyes shut as her words sank in. "I do," I answered simply.

"Okay," she whispered.

I dodged a small puddle left over from the prior night's rain, the action bringing me closer to her side.

"You look pretty today," I commented, changing the subject with a clear of my throat. _Where the hell did that just come from?_

Her cheeks flushed a delicate pink as she glanced at me from the corner of her eye. "Thanks," she whispered, her gaze darting to the others a little way in front of us. "I don't feel it though; I'm so tired." The look she gave me let me know exactly who she blamed for that.

"Hmm, I wonder why that is?" I expressed, keeping a straight face as I looked ahead, shielding my eyes from the sun with my hand.

I felt a sudden kick to my leg, my arms instinctively reaching out as she tripped over her own feet.

My hands gripped her arm as we paused, her own now fisted with the material of my sweater. Her face was so close... _too_ close, considering where we were. I didn't let my eyes drift to her mouth like they wanted to; instead I dropped my hold on her and took a step away.

"You okay?" I questioned, rubbing the back of my neck as I avoided her gaze.

She righted her clothing. "Yeah, I'm fine."

We stood there awkwardly for a few more seconds, allowing others to pass us, before I decided to shatter it.

"You know what that was, don't you?" I smirked as we began walking once more.

She shook her head. "What?"

"Karma."

"Shut up," she smiled, pushing at my arm.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you," I teased, "didn't work out so well last time.

"That's because I tried to _kick _you, not _push_ you."

I laughed. "Do all your friends know you have this... _problem_?"

"What problem?"

"Well, physical violence of course," I explained, motioning to her hands and feet with a flick of my finger.

"No, I save it for special occasions only," she said dryly with a roll of her eyes.

"Verbal violence too, by the sound of it," I sighed, loving that I was getting her worked up.

"You're an idiot."

"Wait, rewind: did you just class this as a special occasion?" I grinned. "I should walk you through parking lots more often."

"That sounded really creepy," she said with amusement colouring her voice. "Why do I like you, again?"

"Because of my good looks, of course," I smirked, itching to reach out and tuck the wayward strands of her hair behind her ear like I'd become accustomed.

"Actually, I'm pretty sure it's for your humility," she said with a mock look of thoughtfulness, complete with teasing glance.

"No, really, my face is better. Not everyone is lucky enough to have this jaw line."

She laughed loudly, her nose wrinkling. "Yeah, I'm thinking that's a good thing. It wouldn't look so good on... Mrs. Cope, for example," she responded, pointing to the red haired member of staff entering the office building to the side.

"That's... disturbing, Bella."

"More disturbing than you wanting to walk me around empty parking lots?" she teased with a raised brow.

"Who said anything about them being empty?" I said with a sideways glance. "There can be people. I'm easy like that."

She snorted. "I'm not saying anything..."

I gasped, exaggerating the sound playfully.

"Did you just call me... _easy?_" I questioned, purposely lowering my voice.

"No, I _implied_ that you are," she responded, pausing as we neared the doors to the building. "Or, at least you used to be."

The way she looked back at me, hopeful and yet still cautious, crushed me. "I mean, you're not like that anymore, right?"

I smiled, small and soft. "No, I'm not." I darted my eyes around us to make sure no one was looking, before reaching out to touch her hand briefly.

"You see..." I paused, quickly wetting my lips, "there's this girl I like, that I think likes me back. She's pretty great."

"Yeah?" she grinned, the smile reaching her eyes.

"Yeah," I smiled with a nod.

"This girl sounds lucky."

I took a deep breath and shoved my hands in my pockets, determined to say these next words. "I don't know about that," I murmured, meeting her eyes. "But I know_ I_ am."

She kept my gaze until someone accidently knocked into her, and then Alice had taken her hand, effectively ending our moment.

She went to take a step toward me, expression serious. "Edward-"

"I'll see you later," I interjected, giving her one last look before I pushed my way inside, immersing myself into the crowded hallway abuzz with raised voices.

I stopped at my locker, dumping the books I wouldn't need until later inside, cursing when I banged my elbow against the door. I was searching for my music assignment when I was joined by the one person I'd been dreading running into. I'd managed to avoid seeing her over Christmas break, replying back with texts when she called. Yes, it was cowardly, but I'd wanted to put it off as long as possible, that way I could forget that there was a problem at all.

She didn't know I'd seen her yet, so I continued to ignore her, waiting for her to speak first. I needed to know what I'd be dealing with; even if she _had_ seemed okay by my ditching her the month prior, I didn't trust her or her words. I wasn't stupid enough to think she would just leave it at that.

"Looking for something?" she asked, stating the obvious.

I plastered a look of surprise on my face, pretending I hadn't noticed her, playing the part. She'd cut her hair shorter... it seemed lighter too. Not that I was any expert.

"An assignment," I answered, going back to my search. "You have a good Christmas?"

"Yeah, it was okay. You?"

"Yep, good," I replied, finally finding what I needed. I pushed my locker closed, turning the lock.

"I was disappointed you couldn't come to the New Year's Eve party at Laurent's," she sighed, her fingers reaching forward to stroke the material of my tie. "It was fun."

I fought the urge to slap her hand away, choosing to take a step back instead. "Sounds like you didn't really need me there."

Her cold eyes met mine. "Maybe... it still would have been nice to see you, though."

"Family thing... I couldn't get out of it," I lied, shrugging.

She started applying some lip stuff, cocking her head to the side ever so slightly as she did so. "So it was just you and your family, then?"

"That and our neighbours; my parents have a fireworks display every year," I explained, wondering where she was going with this.

"Right," she nodded, her gaze leaving mine to drift to the other side of the corridor. "You know, Isabella Swan looks at you an awful lot."

I froze, following the direction of her stare. Bella wasn't looking at us, she was talking to Jazz.

"Really?" I expressed casually, "I hadn't noticed."

"I think someone may have a little crush," she added, focusing her attention back on me.

I shrugged. "I don't really know her all that well."

She licked her front teeth, smiling at Tyler as he passed. "She's forever with your brother and sister though. I thought you'd be close as well."

I was immediately on the defensive, making sure I kept my face as blank and disinterested as physically possible. "We don't really get on that well." _At least we didn't..._

Her brows rose at that. "Perhaps she's into that whole, '_treat them mean, keep them keen' _thing," she smiled.

I forced out a laugh, "Yeah, maybe. Problem is, I'm not interested in getting her attention like that."

I was lying through my teeth, a big part of me wondering how she'd react if I told her to _go fuck herself._

"Poor girl," she smiled, her tone insincere.

Thankfully the bell sounded, putting an end to the conversation.

"You're wrong you know," I voiced, walking backwards. "If anything, she's probably just glaring at me."

She sucked in her cheeks, her parting smile sweet..._ fake_. "If you say so."

"I do," I said, not allowing her the last word.

And with that I headed to the music department.

OoOoO

"It smells like ass in here," Em moaned, his nose turning up against the smell.

"It's a boys' locker room, what do you expect?" Jazz laughed, pulling his gym shirt over his head.

"I don't know, but they need to invest in air freshener... or at least start opening the windows."

I laughed, kneeling down to tie my laces. "Well go and open one, then you can stop moaning about it."

"No, I might catch something."

"Em, I've seen the state of your room. If you've survived that, you can survive anything," I smirked, laughing when he flipped me the middle finger.

Jazz took a step towards him, sniffing the space in front of his locker. "I think the smell's actually coming from in _there_," he informed a guilty looking Em, motioning with his hand to the small pile of clothes shoved at the bottom.

"It is not! Fuck off," he said with a shove to Jasper's arm. I snickered, standing to stretch.

We made our way into the main gym building, my eyes immediately searching for Bella. She was giggling about something with Alice and Rose, the sight instantly bringing a small smile to my own lips.

"Watch this," Em whispered, waggling his eyebrows.

I raised a knowing brow at Jazz, both of us asking our head in unison – Emmett was about to do something that would end with him in the dog house.

There was no point in trying to defer him from whatever he was about to pull, the boy never listened. In fact, he was probably laughing to himself about it, never once considering that his plan wouldn't go all that well.

We followed behind him, watching and waiting.

He went straight to Rose, bringing his finger to his lips when Bella spotted him approaching behind her.

Her brow wrinkled, and it looked like she was about to say something, but it was too late: Em's hand found its way to his girlfriend's ass with a smack.

Jazz cradled his head in his hands as the sound reverberated around us, his head shaking once more.

I bit my knuckles, trying to hold my laughter at bay from what was about to come. Bella's eyes widened as she abruptly turned on her heel to go stand beside Jazz. Alice, on the other hand, looked like she was about to enjoy this scene.

Em was grinning, looking as pleased as punch as he slung his arm around Rose's shoulders. "What's up, babe?"

She turned her head slowly in reply, her eyes already beginning to narrow. "_What's up_?" she repeated stonily, "I'll tell you what's up," she enunciated with a prod to his chest with each word.

"I was just telling the girls that I have the worst stomach cramps right now, not to mention a bitch of a headache."

The smile slid from Em's face, but Rose wasn't finished there. "And _now_ my right ass cheek is stinging because some idiot just decided to slap it. Do you know who that idiot was, Em, huh?"

"Oh shit," he whispered, holding his hands out towards her in a retreating movement, palms up. "I forgot it was that time of the month for you. Is there anything I can do?"

Her eyes narrowed further, and I had to turn my head away to stop myself from choking on my laughter.

"Yeah, step away from me before I put my foot up your ass."

She stormed off as Coach Clapp blew his whistle, Em following behind her with clumsy hands on her arms, each attempt batted off with one hand as her other rubbed her butt.

"Are you sure we're related to him?" Alice teased, cupping her hand around her mouth to hide the movement of her lips despite the fact she wasn't even attempting to whisper.

"No," I grinned, "but then I'm not sure I'm related to you, either."

"Wishful thinking, little brother," she said, reaching up to pinch my cheeks.

I slapped her hands away. "Please, you're older than me by three minutes."

"Still older," she grinned, twirling under Jasper's arm.

"I didn't know that," Bella voiced as we neared the group of other students.

"Know what?" I questioned, rubbing the side of my face.

"That Alice was older."

I shrugged, taking a quick glance at her. "Yeah."

"I want to know these things," she said quickly, yet quietly. "Does that freak you out?"

I swallowed heavily, surprised that it didn't. "No."

She smiled, small and almost unnoticeable to someone who didn't spend so much time looking at her. "Okay. Good."

I cleared my throat, hiding my own grin. "Okay."

"Everyone gathered around?" Coach Clapp wondered, his eyes trailing the gym for any late stragglers. "Good. Now I want everyone to grab a racquet from the crate over there, grab a few balls, and set up the nets.

"We'll be playing some tennis today kids," he said enthusiastically, rubbing his palms together.

There were a few groans, one of them coming from Bella herself. Personally, I liked the game. Especially if I would be opposite some prick like James – it would give me an excuse to volley a few balls at him harder than required.

I looked around for him, ignoring whatever else Coach was saying. _I really should ask him if he wants to partner with me..._

I found him at the edge of the group, standing beside Lauren and Mike, Tanya hovering behind him with Tyler.

I was trying to catch his eye when Coach Clapp's words filtered through. "Look to your left; that's your partner."

"How does that work exactly?" Mike asked, his brows furrowed, "because I'm on James' left, but Jane is on mine."

"I don't know, work it out yourselves. It's not rocket science, son." With a blow of his whistle the crowd dispersed.

Bella purposefully stood in front of me, expression playful. "I'm on your left, so I guess that means I get to kick your butt at tennis."

I was wary of partnering with her, especially after what had occurred with Tanya this morning. She was in this class with us both, and I knew she'd be watching.

Her smile fell. "Unless you don't want to, of course," she murmured.

"No," I said, shaking my head, "it's not that.

I ran my hand through my hair, grasping it slightly at the roots. "Tanya was asking questions this morning... she thinks you have a crush on me," I smirked.

Her eyes widened, her cheeks flushing. "What did you tell her?" she asked, her voice squeaking.

"I agreed with her," I shrugged, biting the inside of my cheek to stop my smile from forming. "I told her you were obsessed with me; that you were constantly following me around like a lost little lamb."

Her mouth gaped. "Oh my God, you did not!"

I took a step closer. "Oh, I did. And not only that, I mentioned the time I caught you writing _Mrs. Edward Cullen_ across your biology notebook."

"What the—that didn't even happen!" she cried, lowering her voice when Jazz looked over.

"No... But _she_ doesn't know that," I grinned. "Good cover though, huh?" I winked.

"You... _You!" _She punched my shoulder, her eyes fierce.

"Okay, okay, relax," I laughed, dodging her next hit. "I'm just kidding. I told her you probably just hated me, and that's why you look at me so much."

"I do _not_ look at you a lot," she replied, arms crossed over her chest.

"She thinks you do."

"Yeah, well..." she voiced, trailing off stubbornly.

"Well, what?" I pushed, following after her as she made her way over to the crates.

"Well, nothing," she replied over her shoulder as she bent down to grab us both a racquet, quickly standing again to press one to my chest. "Here."

"Ooh, somebody's in a mood now, I see," I teased, picking up a couple of tennis balls.

"No... I just don't like talking about '_Tanya',_" she mumbled, pulling a face when she got to her name.

We set up our net, mostly copying Alice next to us who had it done in a jiffy. Who knew that hooking some netted fabric could be so complicated?

Bella was on her knees, tying the last few strings to the poles when I noticed him watching her... more specifically her ass.

_Fucking Newton!_

"If he looks at you once more I'm going to throw these balls in his face," I hissed once Bella had rejoined me.

"What? Who?" she wondered, eyes drifting about the gym.

"Mike Newton," I grumbled, glaring across the room at him. "In fact, I think he may even be drooling a little."

She rolled her eyes. "No he is not."

"No seriously," I said with what I assumed with a look of disgust. "I think he's actually drooling? See! Told you," I expressed, noticing something empty from his mouth.

"Oh, no wait, that's not drool," she explained with squinted eyes. "Ew, gross, he's vomiting... a lot."

Coach Clapp hurried him out the room, shouting something about getting the janitor.

"I saw him eat a tuna sandwich at break," Bella continued. "Rule number one: never touch anything that can swim... or well used to, in this school. God knows how long those sandwiches have been stuck in that kitchen."

"You touch me and I can swim," I smirked.

She snorted. "Yeah, but I don't want to _eat_ you."

I grinned... and she grinned... and I knew she was thinking the exact same thing that was floating around in my head right then.

"You're disgusting," she laughed, giving me the side-eye.

"You've loved it every time," I insisted, wetting my lips.

She flushed, hard and pink and started twirling her racquet about in her hands, almost hitting her own face in the process.

"Let's just get on with the game," she murmured, straightening up. "Give me the balls please."

I decided to mess with her a little more. "What? Right now?" I asked stupidly.

"_Yes_, right now," she repeated with a raised brow.

I shook my head. "You can't have my balls, I need them. You can play with them later."

She frowned, hands on her hips, looking at me with confused eyes. I carried on grinning, just waiting for her to get it. Finally, she did, her nose wrinkling in the process.

"You seriously need help," she stated as she took the balls from my hands.

"I thought we just established that you could '_help me out'_ later?" I teased.

She narrowed her eyes at me, her mouth forming a slight pout. "This isn't cute... or hot by the way."

I smirked. "It will be. I'm thinking about it right now..."

She bit her lip, drawing my eyes to her mouth. "Stop it!" she insisted as I carried on playing around.

"Oooh, you're wearing your fluffy pyjamas," I laughed, pretending to drift off again.

"Yeah, well have fun with that while you can, because I'm planning to stay away from you tonight. I need sleep."

I winked, nudging her arm. "We'll take scheduled naps. We'll be fine."

"Still... so not going to happen," she expressed with a shake of her head.

"I'll come over anyway," I resolved.

"Fine," she shrugged.

"And climb your tree," I added, knowing she hated that.

She scowled. "Fine!"

"And not leave until you let me in."

Her scowl turned into a fully fledged glare.

"And that would be really dangerous," I continued. "I mean, I could fall, and break my arm or leg... or_ worse_. It would be terrible. And you'd end up feeling so guilty."

"Well then don't climb it. Simple," she stated as she pulled the tie from her hair, only to put it back in again a few seconds afterwards.

"But then how would I see you?" I questioned. "It's very important that I do," I insisted, biting back a smile.

"I'll send you a picture or something," she retorted, smirking.

"A dirty one?" I grinned, pressing my palms together in mock prayer.

"What? No. God you're a pervert." She looked so flustered. "I'll send you one of my window... and if you're extremely lucky, the tree. You know, seeing as you seem to be so fond of them both."

"That's incredibly thoughtful," I mused, scratching my jaw. "And in return I'll send you one of my co-"

She poked me with her racquet, eyes darting to the others to make sure they hadn't heard.

I laughed and stepped closer, lowering my voice before I spoke, "I'll just take Alice's key. I _know_ she has one."

Her mouth gaped open and I knew I'd won.

I winked, and had only taken a few steps backwards when she launched the tennis balls at my stomach. I rubbed my skin and laughed as she turned on her heel, bending over to tie her shoe.

My laughing died as I looked at her legs and curves... my eyes drifting upward to find her looking back at me with the smuggest smile.

I didn't win after all. And I really didn't care. Teasing her and seeing her smile... it was all worth it.

OoOoO

Hmmm, burger... or burger... the choice was a tough one. I grabbed the one closest to me, adding an apple to my tray as I moved up the line.

"Are you sitting with us today, Edward?"

I turned around to find Lauren behind me, a can of Fanta in her hands. "Um..." I darted my gaze to her table, noticing Tanya already seated, chatting away with Victoria.

I guessed she must have felt my stare because her lips paused in their movement as her eyes met mine. Her lips curled up slightly at the sides, evidently pleased I was looking her way, before she went back to whatever she was talking about.

"Not today." _Or ever_, I mentally added, nodding in thanks to the lunch lady as she gave me back my change.

"Oh, okay. Tomorrow maybe," she suggested with a shrug.

"Yeah, maybe," I replied, giving her a small nod as I walked over to where my family was sitting.

I pulled out the chair beside Bella, glad that it was the only spare one so that I had an excuse to sit beside her.

I could pretty much see the whole cafeteria from my current position, and no sooner had I sat, I felt Bella's hand clamp down on my knee.

I tried not to freeze, and surreptitiously glanced at her as I unscrewed the lid from my bottle of Coke.

She was happily chatting away to Rose, not even giving me so much as a look or greeting. I brought my drink to my lips, taking a mouthful as I turned my head to focus on whatever Em was trying to speak to me about.

"What?" I asked, not hearing a word of it.

"I said, 'what's wrong with you?' You look like you're trying to solve a math problem or something," he said around a forkful of pasta.

"I'm good at math."

"What?" he murmured. "What's that got to do with anything?"

I looked back at him in amused confusion. "Err, because you just mentioned it," I laughed.

"That you were good at math? No I didn't."

I dropped my head to the table. "Jesus Christ, Em. Just go back to your food." He shrugged and carried on eating.

"Did you hit him on the head at all today, Rose?" I asked, waving my hand to catch her attention.

"Sadly, no," she said, stabbing a twist of her own pasta.

"Still in the dog house, huh?" I wondered aloud.

"Yeah, but she'll get over it," Emmett assured me with a nod.

"She? Who's _she?_ I have a name, Emmett Cullen!"

I widened my eyes at Jazz across the table, nearly choking on my burger when he did the universal sign for crazy. _Yeah, you're telling me._

Twenty minutes passed and still Bella's hand remained. And she still hadn't looked at me. Not once.

"Hey, Bella," I voiced, tapping her on the arm to get her attention.

"Yeah?" she questioned, taking a sip of her lemonade as Rose started shouting at Emmett about something.

I raised my brows and surreptitiously put my hand atop hers under the table.

"Is everything okay?" I questioned, thankful for Rose's hormones.

"Mhmm," she hummed with a nod.

"And this?" I queried, running my finger across the back of her hand.

"Nothing... just... nothing," she said lowly, quickly clearing her throat.

Another twenty minutes passed, our fingers now linked under the table.

"Hey Edward, do you think you could quickly help me with those few biology questions I mentioned earlier, before class starts?" She squeezed my hand tightly, the expression on her face completely casual.

"Sure," I shrugged, worried now. I mean, she was a little strange anyway, but this was unusual for her.

"Okay, I'll go grab my books and meet you in class," she smiled, getting to her feet. "Thank you, you're a life saver."

"I've heard Edward called many things," Rose commented as Bella slid her chair under the table. "And that has never been one of them."

"That's because Bella's too nice," Alice winked as Bella blew her a kiss before leaving. "And she had yet to know you like the rest of us do." _Wrong._ "She'll learn."

I flipped her the bird as I finished the last of my Coke, making sure to ruffle her hair as I passed. "I'll see you assholes at home."

"Hey, what did _I_ do?" I heard Em shout behind me, causing me to laugh.

I dumped my tray and pushed my way out of the door, apologizing when it nearly struck some freshman in the face as it swung back.

I made my way up the flight of stairs, briefly stopping to grab my own things, all the while wondering what Bella wanted to talk about.

I stopped at the second flight of stairs, debating whether I should just go wait in the classroom like she'd wanted, or go see if she was still at her locker. In the end I decided I didn't want to wait and went in search of her.

As I neared the row of lockers, I noticed she wasn't alone. James was hovering over her, blocking her face from my vision. I immediately quickened my pace, glaring daggers into the back of his head.

I had to be careful; I knew I couldn't go in all guns blazing. Not to mention I didn't want to cause any unnecessary suspicion. But the sight of him standing over her like that fueled a fire in me that I didn't realize I had.

I didn't want him anywhere near her.

As soon as I got into earshot, I could start making out bits and pieces. I slowed my pace against my will, and shoved my hands into my pockets, trying to appear casual.

Bella was saying 'no' to something, her voice edging towards angry. I'd been on the receiving end of it often enough, so I immediately recognized that she was either upset or really pissed.

"Come on," I heard James voice, his tone trying to encourage. "We'll have fun."

"You alright, Bella?" I interrupted, coming to stand beside James, not willing to let him continue whatever it was he was trying to do. "You got your books?"

"Yeah," she said, nodding her head jerkily.

"What, are you tutoring her or something Cullen?" James laughed, showing his new overly white teeth, a gift from Laurent no doubt_._ He was big on appearance.

I forced out a laugh, my hands fisted in my pockets. "No, Bella was having a few problems with some questions; she's my biology partner, so I thought I'd help her out. If she gets bad grades, it could reflect on me."

"Oh, well I was just trying to get Bella to agree to go on a date with me," he sighed. "But she turned me down."

My teeth were pushing against each other with so much force I could feel the ache in my jaw. "She obviously has good taste then," I said, hoping it sounded jokey.

He laughed again, this time the sound appearing anything but humorous. "I'll let you two get to the books," he said abruptly.

"Hey, James, you have a bit of food or something stuck to your face... right there," I said, pointing to the spot below my own cheek to advise him, lighting up inside when he started to leave.

His smile dropped, his expression changing to one of irritation. "Thanks," he gritted out, quickly looking to the side of me.

"And think about it, Bella," he smirked, eyes now slightly squinted.

We both waited until he'd disappeared through the doors before we started to move ourselves.

"Are you alright?" I questioned immediately. "He didn't touch you or anything, did he? Because if he did, I swear I'll break his fuck-"

"No, no," Bella assured, bringing a reassuring hand to my arm. "He was just being his usual, sleazy self.

"He heard about my break-up with Jake, and asked me out," she explained with a disgruntled look. "He actually seemed surprised that I'd said no. I guess he isn't used to people refusing him."

"If he tries anything like that again, you come and tell me straight away – understand?" I said firmly.

"Yes, Sir," she said playfully, complete with salute. I rolled my eyes and held the door to the classroom open for her.

She dropped her books on the nearest desk as I closed the door behind us, startled when she immediately wrapped her arms around me.

"Now that we're alone - what was all that shit about at lunch?" I asked her, trying to force her to look at me.

She pressed her face into my shirt, her words becoming mumbled.

"What?" I laughed, taking a step away so I could actually hear her.

"I didn't like them all looking at you," she admitted, her cheeks pink. "I may have gotten a little jealous."

"Just a little, hmm?" I smirked. "From the grip you had on my knee, I'd say it was _a lot_ more than _just a little_.

Her blush deepened. "Shut up, I saw your face just now with James," she smiled, reaching up on her toes to wrap her arms about my neck. "I'd say someone else was a little jealous, too."

I sucked in my cheeks a little. "I don't get jealous," I lied, stroking the hair from her cheeks.

"You're a liar," she whispered, her fingers teasing the hair at the back of my neck.

"You'll never prove it," I smirked, bringing my face closer.

"Oh, yeah?" she whispered.

"Yeah."

"Any why's that?"

My lips touched hers ever so softly. "Because, I'll distract you."

"I'll stand firm against it then. Thanks for the warning," she replied.

"Pfft, like you'll be able to resist. You're obsessed with me, remember? Quick, get your book so I can write _Mrs. Edward Cullen_ on the front."

"Just shut up and kiss me."

"God, you're so demanding," I sighed, before finally closing the remaining distance.

It was slow... languid tongues and gentle touches. And then something flipped like it always did, and her hands in my hair tightened, and my own around her hips pulled her nearer.

I turned us around, pressing her back into the wall as I cupped her face.

She bit my lip playfully, briefly tracing the area with her tongue. I closed my eyes and groaned, wishing we were anywhere but in this classroom. To further add to my distress, the bell rang, bringing it all to an end.

She backed away with dark eyes, lips red and completely distracting.

I was sure this next hour was going to feel like the longest in history.

OoOoO

"Where are you off to?" Esme asked as I tried to slip out the front door unnoticed. I'd only been home ten minutes, enough to get changed and take a piss before I planned on heading over to Bella's.

She'd teased me all through class, purposely doing shit to get me worked up - I'd left her with promises of what I was going to do as soon as we got home.

And now Esme was cock-blocking me.

"Just out," I shrugged. "Probably walk over to Ben's. It's nice weather."

She smiled as she wiped her hands on the tea towel attached to the strings of her apron. "Okay, but don't stay out too late tonight please."

I rolled my eyes. "I'll be back by seven."

"Good boy," she said, now shooing me out the door. _Women..._

I quickly made my way next door, making sure Leah or Seth weren't out front in their garden or some shit, before knocking on Bella's door.

She still hadn't answered after what felt like forever, so I knocked again. And again. I was just about to let myself in when she finally opened the door, still dressed in her school uniform.

"Oh hello, Edward," she smiled. "Was there something you wanted?" she asked sweetly.

I smirked as I realized she'd made me wait on purpose, and pushed at the door. "I'm going to give you a five second head start."

"Wait, what?" she giggled, backing away from the door.

"One," I whispered. "Two-"

"Edward, don't, I'm sorry I made you wait."

"Three."

She ran for the stairs. "Four," I shouted after her.

I slammed the front door. "Five."

I immediately started after her, her loud giggling and pleas echoing through the house. She'd just made it to her bedroom door before I grabbed her around the waist and carried her into her room.

"Edward, please," she cried as she tried to free herself from my grasp. "Put me down! I'll stop teasing you, I promise."

I lowered us to her bed, settling myself on top of her. "You promise huh?" I asked, tickling her sides.

"Yes, yes!" she laughed, pushing my hands away as tears came to her eyes.

I put my mouth to her neck, kissing her skin. She started to squirm, impatient hands going to my shirt. She pushed me back, changing our positions as she put her legs either side of me.

Her lips trailed across my jaw, soft kisses and gentle strokes of fingers given.

"I love kissing you," she admitted, pressing her lips to mine again and again. I silently agreed - her touch was something I'd never tire of.

I threaded my fingers through her hair, bringing her face closer, not wanting her to stop. She made quick work of her shirt buttons and bra, but did nothing more.

She sat up and ran her hands down my bare chest, her expression making me want to pull her back to me.

"Can we just lie a little while? Nothing else," she said lowly, gazing at me through thick lashes.

I swallowed heavily and nodded, taking her hands.

I'd never done this, not once, not even with Bella. Sure we'd shared the same bed, but always after doing something. We'd never simply just held each other. It was intimate and intense, more so than sex with her; which was both exhilarating and fucking frightening, all at the same time.

"What happened with you and Carlisle this morning?" she whispered, her fingers tracing unseen patterns on my skin as she looked back at me with concerned eyes.

I took a deep breath and held it in, letting it out slowly. I suddenly wanted to tell her... I wanted to trust and want someone enough to share this with them.

"We had an argument," I answered, clearing my throat.

She smiled sadly. "Not for the first time." It was a statement, not a question.

I threaded out fingers together, needing her touch. "No, not for the first time," I told her.

"You see, things between me and my dad have been a bit strained over the years," I said, laughing bitterly. "That's putting it mildly actually."

She kissed my cheek.

"Everyone has arguments with their parents all the time," I continued, "but the ones we have, turn ugly really fast."

"I'm sorry," she whispered. I shook my head, squeezing her hand.

"About five years ago, mom got pregnant with her fourth child. She was so happy as she sat us all down and told us as a family."

I didn't look at Bella's face... I didn't want to see the questions resting there. I needed to get this all out at once; otherwise I wouldn't be able to do it.

"Dad started decorating the nursery, blue paint everywhere; they'd found out they were expecting a boy.

"About three months in, on a Wednesday - I remember the day because I was off school sick. I only had a bit of a cold, but I played it up, wanting the day at home to play my new game I'd gotten the weekend before. Mom looked a little off that morning, and asked Dad not to go to work... but he went. There was a patient he needed to check up on. He said he'd take a half-day and come home early," I remembered.

"Mom had felt super tired, but Dad told her not to worry, it was to be expected. I mean she was pregnant; she was going to feel that way. So he left... and about three hours later I was phoning the hospital.

"I found her clutched over in the kitchen, red stains on her white summer dress that she'd bought only the week before. She'd miscarried... but all I could focus on was her face. Her eyes Bella... so much sorrow. She was crying, but not hysterical. She was calm... and so fucking broken. On the way to the hospital in the ambulance, all I could think was that if Dad hadn't gone, he could have done something. I kept thinking he should have known... doctors are supposed to know those sorts of things," I told her, squeezing my eyes shut.

"When you're twelve, everything is either right or wrong. Good or bad. You don't think about the in between. To _me_, he was wrong, and it took me so long to even speak to him again. I blamed him completely."

"Oh, Edward," Bella whispered, her hand to coming to my cheek. "I'm so, _so_ sorry. For you all."

"Just let me finish, okay?" I said thickly, resting my hand on hers.

I took another deep breath. "What I didn't notice straight away was how broken he was, too. It took me years to recognize those expressions on his face. Being the man he is, he of course felt it was his fault, too. And every chance I could get, I would let him know it. I was really cruel. You never think you'll see those things... ever, let alone at such a young age. That's how we eventually ended up here, in Forks: get away from the city, and enjoy the quiet life. It was Carlisle's idea, and Esme had always wanted to move somewhere a little greener. It was a simple choice.

"I started to wonder if he loved her at the time, and made a promise to myself to never get married or fall in love. The prospect has always scared me. Because as soon as I was able to overcome my anger to see what was straight in front of me – two people that loved each other wholly – it got me thinking: if something like that can happen to a couple so in love, then what was the point in it all?"

I met Bella's eyes now, my heart racing. "Casual relationships don't scare me – there aren't those ties that threaten to tear you apart, you know? But then, they're also lonely. And repetitive... boring. There's nothing there but a small and momentary release. Being with you like this is going against everything I've tried so hard to stay away from.

"You barged your way into my life and refused to go away, no matter how many times I tried to push you away mentally. Game playing seemed like such a good idea at the start... I thought that I could drive you away that way. Games are supposed to be fun... no one gets hurt. But I was wrong. And things changed. The first time I set eyes on you, I knew you'd cause me trouble... intentionally or not. And your attitude... it excited me... made me incredibly frustrated," I smiled, stroking her cheek with shaky fingers.

"I thought I hated you sometimes because you made me feel emotions I had no want for."

Wetness met my fingers, tears running down Bella's cheeks.

"I'm still never going to be that boy who will bring you roses every day, and never argue back. I'm stubborn and can be a real asshole... I know that," I said, smirking when she started to laugh through her tears.

"But I like you, and hate it when you're not with me. I know it may not seem like enough, but it's all I have right now."

"No, don't," she interrupted, tone serious. "It's enough," she insisted, grabbing my face. "_It's enough_."

She kissed my cheeks, my forehead... ending with my mouth, whispering words I couldn't make out. I made no move to ask for them; I simply wanted to do exactly what she'd asked for, what we'd set out to do.

Just lie there a little while. Nothing else.

* * *

**Reviews will get a teaser for the next chapter.**

**This weeks recs: ****'The Best I Ever Had' and 'Once More, With Feeling' by WhatsMyNomDePlume. I love her stories so much.**

**Thank you so much for reading. ****VHL xx**


	33. Chapter 33

**Hey everyone! Thank you for being so patient with me; I know it's been a while since I last updated. I'm working on it.**

**As ever, massive thanks to my amazing beta Susan who makes me smile so much. She's leaving me for two weeks to go on a cruise tomorrow, so I'm sure well wishes would be welcome. My heart is broken. ;)**

**And another huge thanks to the lovely jedigirlsc for doing a stellar job of prereading this story. I'm incredibly lucky to have them both.**

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns Twilight and all its characters. She doesn't, however, own my silly sense of humour. That may be a good thing.**

* * *

Bella

My breathing came slow and deep as I flopped down onto my bed, the sheets cool against the backs of my knees as I swung my legs back and forth over the edge of the mattress. I reached over for my remote, flicking my TV onto some random channel to take my mind off of how I never wanted to eat, ever again.

I'd just gotten home from a night at the Clearwater's. Sue's insistence that I come to dinner finally won out - she apparently worried about me being alone, what with Charlie still working nights.

I rubbed my stomach, staring down at my exposed skin as I did so, berating myself for eating so much.

Sue seemed to think that teenagers were unable to cook themselves something that didn't include fries or grilled cheese sandwiches. And in her words, not mine, that was not food, it was junk - _junk_ that tasted pretty damn good to me, but I didn't add that. After all, she was cooking for me - you didn't kick a gift horse in the mouth and all that... or perhaps it was _look_ a gift horse in the mouth. Regardless, it was a nice change, and my God did I take advantage of it. She cooked the most amazing casserole with mashed potatoes and string beans, and then served homemade apple pie for dessert with vanilla infused cream. I was literally in food heaven... or rather, a food coma; the two seemed to go together. She even gave me leftovers to take home, enough for Charlie and myself if I felt hungry a little later.

Even the thought of another bite of food made me groan out loud, my eyes closing on their own volition as I took another deep breath.

Sue's concern had been nice, if a little awkward, mostly because both she and Charlie had yet to say a single word to me about what was going on with them.

I sighed. I'd had enough of the giant elephant in the room; I was going to entice that thing out with giant handfuls of peanuts this weekend to finally get Dad talking. And if that didn't work, maybe I'd set a few mice loose to scare the thing into submission.

Desperate time called for desperate measures.

The best part about this situation, other than seeing Charlie a lot more cheerful around the house, was that Seth and I had become close pretty quickly, which was something I found I loved. I'd always wanted a little brother or sister growing up, and while this wasn't anywhere near the same thing, I still welcomed it.

I even found myself liking Sue a lot... she was kind of like that aunt that was always around if you needed her, someone who'd give up their time without a second's thought to help you out.

But then there was Leah. I still had no idea what to make of her, which frustrated me if I focused on it too much.

She hadn't been home when we'd sat down to eat; she was apparently over at Jake's house, information that had made me a little jealous, which was just stupid. I'd momentarily wondered if they'd started dating or something, especially as they seemed to spend a lot of time together. But then I remembered they'd been doing that long before I'd moved here. Plus, even if they were together as more than friends, I was with Edward now, someone who made me crazy - someone who I was crazy about, in the most intense of ways.

I still hadn't spent as much time with Jake as I would have liked, brief phone calls here and there, and a few hours last Sunday as I accompanied Dad down to the rez when he went over to see Billy.

I'd been a little hesitant to push the matter further, especially after Edward's revelations to me a couple of weeks back. I didn't want to rock the boat that had come so far.

Edward's words had shocked me, induced such sorrow that I hadn't been able to stop the tears from escaping from the corners of my eyes. I'd never imagined that such a heartbreaking story was behind the tension between himself and Carlisle... and after hearing it, so many of Edward's past actions started to make a lot more sense. It didn't excuse everything, but I understood him a little better now. Or at least I liked to think I did. Only time would tell on that front.

His honesty about his feelings for me... they'd made my heart ache and my pulse race so fast. I'd wanted to tell him I loved him, and that I had for a while, my body bursting with the feeling of it. But that night had been about him.

After he'd left, I was so glad that I'd stopped to really _think_ before blurting anything  
out. I hadn't wanted to overshadow what he'd shared with me with my own emotions: it wouldn't have been fair to overwhelm him any further when he'd just shared so much.

So I'd decided a few more weeks of waiting wouldn't hurt. We'd come too far to start taking those backwards steps again. And until the right time, those words really were just better left unsaid.

Also, next week was Valentine's Day: hearts, flowers, candy... emotional drunks with boom boxes outside your window... not that I'd personally experienced any of that stuff. But it happened. I'd seen it, and not just in movies.

I remembered a particular Paul Goodman swaying in the yard across the street from mine last year back in Phoenix. It was obvious he'd been drinking – hence the swaying – his raised voice slurred as he called out for Molly to come to her window.

Molly was kind of quiet, and had these crazy blonde curls that left me both envious and amused. And Paul... well, Paul was the kind of guy that acted on impulse rather than common sense. His antics were well known in our neighbourhood, so it really hadn't come as much of a surprise when mom had called me from her bedroom to witness the scene. There was a better view from upstairs.

His song choice hadn't been the best... his rendition of '_Sexy Back'_ was one of the funniest things I had ever witnessed – Justin Timberlake he was _not_.

Not to mention her parents threatened to call the cops numerous times if he didn't get _'his pervert ass away from their house' _– their words, not mine.

Bad song choice aside, I thought it had been sort of sweet. He had a crush on her for years; it was common knowledge in our school. They dated all of three months before she broke it off due to his after school activities – read: hanging outside the local thrift store with a pack of cards, magic wand and an over friendly dog by his side. He was a wannabe magician... and somehow thought a dog was a fair substitute for a rabbit. Not that he pulled his dog out of a hat or anything; the thing was huge and slobbered a lot. I think it was mainly for moral support... if a dog could give that. I mean, it's not as if it could regale him with encouraging words. And if he thought it could... well, perhaps he had bigger problems than just his singing voice and embarrassingly bad tricks.

All in all it was a shame his tricks never worked out the way he planned; his enthusiasm was entirely wasted on something that wouldn't come to fruition any time soon.

I'd never had a real valentine on the day before. Sure I'd gotten a card or two in the mail when I was like eight or something, but the fact that those cards never once had a postage stamp on the envelope, kind of made the sender pretty obvious.

Renee wasn't the smartest tool in the shed when it came to logistics.

But then, I hadn't realized it straight away either – it had taken me a good couple of years - so I guessed I took after my mom in that way.

Another commercial popped up onto the TV screen, advertising a collection of love songs that were apparently only available for a short time period, and that I needed to buy now to ensure I didn't miss out.

_Yeah, and does it look like I have 'sucker' stamped onto my forehead? Plus that crap has some high pitched, hand in the air warble from Mariah Carey on it... which makes me want to smash my own TV._ _And I totally can't afford a new one right now._

I rubbed my eyes, frowning at the mascara that rubbed off onto my fingers. I was really nervous about Valentine's Day for some stupid reason. Edward hadn't brought it up, but he obviously wasn't stupid – it was hard to miss the signs around town in shop windows offering discounts on boxes of chocolates and cheap champagne. Then there was the giant pink poster on the gym doors that the art department had made. I felt bad for them, because if that was the best they could come up with – a red heart filled with glitter – then their chances of becoming the next Van Gogh were very slim. The closest they'd get would be if one of them somehow managed to take a chunk out of their ear... _gross._

A part of me wanted to ask him if we were buying each other gifts, or if he wanted to do anything in the evening. Problem was, it wasn't like we could go out for dinner or something. The only place in town was Newton's, which would without doubt be _filled_ with kids from school. There was no way that wouldn't start their tongues wagging.

We could – and most likely would – sneak off somewhere during the day, but the truth was, I didn't want to do that anymore. I'd been thinking a lot about all the secrecy... and the main aspect really holding me back was Jacob. I knew Alice and the others would be hurt over the fact I had kept this from them, but I hoped they'd understand and not think too badly of me. Jacob on the other hand... no, it would worse for him. I was by no means ready to tell him, but then, I never really would be. And I deduced the longer I put it off, the worse it would be become. I know Edward wanted to keep it hidden for his own personal reasons, but it was tearing me apart inside. It didn't have to be like this, we could change things, but if he didn't want to... I honestly didn't know what I'd do.

I sighed, pushing those worries aside for tomorrow; I hoped they'd look better with a new day.

I crawled over to the other side of the bed, settling myself at my desk instead. I had a few emails from Renee I still hadn't answered, and I knew if I left it any longer there would be inquisitive phone calls demanding to know what was wrong.

My mother could read me like no other.

I logged onto my email, nodding my head along to the theme music of some show currently playing on the TV. I swiftly answered her questions of how I was dealing with the Jacob break-up and school. She told me of her Valentine's plans with Phil, some of them making me cringe.

I really didn't need to know she'd bought Phil some gimmicky underwear, just... _ew_, _no_.

A chat box popped up onto the screen, the familiar ping making me jump.

**EC11388: **Oh look, you're online at the exact same time I am. What a surprise.

A smile immediately bloomed on my lips.

**Isabella: **Please, this is no surprise. Are you stalking me again?

**EC11388: **Always, I thought we'd established that by now.

**Isabella:** No I had, but you kept denying it.

**EC11388:** Well, now I'm not. I've been to a few meetings recently... you know, for stalkers like myself. They've made me see the light.

**Isabella:** Really? You don't seem like a meetings kind of guy.

**EC11388:** Pfft, I'm so that type of guy. I like to sit in a circle and talk about my issues all the time. God Bella, who knew you were so judge-y.

I snorted, quickly typing out my reply.

**Isabella:** Judge-y... that so isn't a word by the way.

**EC11388:** Yes it is. I just used it.

**Isabella:** It still doesn't make it a word.

**EC11388: **Says who?

**Isabella:** The Oxford Dictionary

**EC11388: **Yeah, well, I'm not British. So that really doesn't apply to me.

**Isabella:** Fuck me...

**EC11388:** *heavy sigh* Fine, if I have to. Leave your window open, I'll be right over.

**Isabella: **I hadn't finished my sentence! I didn't mean it like that and you know it.

**EC11388:** You snooze, you lose.

I held my head in my hands, smiling like an idiot.

**Isabella:** What are you, five?

**EC11388:** You're just jealous of my comeback skills.

**Isabella:** Is that seriously all you think about?

**EC11388:** What? Comeback skills?

I rolled my eyes at the screen.

**Isabella:** No, sex.

**EC11388:** Do you want the honest answer? Because I have no problem lying to you about this.

**Isabella:** Just humour me.

**EC11388:** Is that what they're calling it these days...

**Isabella:** OMG. I guess that answers my question.

**EC11388:** Yes.

**EC11388:** But now I'm curious. What do you think about?

I smirked as I typed out my response, deciding to mess with him a little.

**Isabella: **Sex...

**Isabella:** With Johnny Depp.

**EC11388:** I'm outraged right now. Do you think of him when you're with me?

**Isabella:** *dreamy sigh* Yeah, all the time.

Edward currently appears to be offline.

I immediately started laughing, loving when he was playful like this.

He'd be back.

No sooner than three minutes later, the indicator beside his name turned green, alerting me to his return.

**EC11388:** I needed time to get over it. I'm good now.

**Isabella:** Good. Great. Make sure to tell them all about your progress in your 'meetings'. ;)

**EC11388:** You know, I don't think I should mention it. They'd probably ask me to bring you along. It would be uncomfortable.

My brow furrowed as I read his response.

**Isabella:** Why? Because I'd get to hear all your secrets?

**EC11388:** No, because they'd naturally think you're a weirdo for thinking about Johnny Depp while having sex with me. I mean, look at me. I'm way hotter than him.

**Isabella:** Did you just use the word 'hotter'?

There was a pregnant pause, one that made me smirk.

**EC11388**: What? No.

**Isabella:** Yes... yes you did. I can see it. Have you been watching Gossip Girl with Alice again?

**EC11388:** No, with Emmett actually. He likes the blonde one with the big boobs.

**Isabella:** Of course he does.

**EC11388:** I like the other one. Brunettes are more my type. ;)

**Isabella:** Charmer.

**EC11388**: Who said I was talking about you? Such a big head.

**Isabella:** I am not. Shut up.

**EC11388:** Great come back. I'll be sure to write it down for future references.

Isabella currently appears to be offline.

I opened up a new email tab, my fingers flying across the keys as I smiled to myself.

Write _this_ down: girlfriend is going to bed. Girlfriend does not want to talk to you anymore.

Oh, and girlfriend agrees – she thinks you're hotter than Johnny Depp.

Sweet dreams

Bella xoxo

I hit send.

And paused.

It was the first time I'd referred to myself as Edward's girlfriend... but that's what I was, so why shouldn't I use it?

I ended up staring at the sent message for a few minutes, worry settling in, rolling through my stomach like angry waves. _No, stop it, Bella._

With one last squint of my eyes, I clicked on the cross at the corner of the page, making it all disappear.

I shook my head and smiled sadly.

_If only everything was that easy._

OoOoO

I pushed down the lever on the toaster for the second time, the bread still not staying down.

"Dammit," I muttered, trying for a third time. We'd only gotten this one last month, no way it could be broken.

"Dad!" I called out, slamming the lever down hard with a huff, "the toaster's broken... again!"

"Well, it's no surprise if that's how hard you press down on it."

I jumped, not having heard Charlie enter the room. "No, I don't usually... it was already broken when I just did that," I explained sheepishly. "Sorry."

"Uh huh," he nodded, coming over to take a look at it. He startled fiddling around with the plug, murmuring something about a blown fuse.

I opened the cupboard to my left, pushing boxes aside. "Dad, it's fine, I'll just grab a granola bar instead. Go get some sleep."

I finally found the familiar packaging, grabbing a couple bars to shove in my bag for later.

"Everything okay with you, you know, with school and stuff?" Charlie asked, halting my attempt at tearing a bar open with my teeth.

My brows furrowed. "Uh... yeah, fine. Why?"

He rubbed his palm over his mouth, fingers pressing into the line of his jaw. "No reason, just checking in. We haven't really had much time to talk lately."

_Where's he going with this...?_

"Yeah, but that's not really our thing anyway," I replied with a confused smile.

He looked tense... _nervous_ almost, as his hand moved to the back of his neck. "Right... but..."

His words trailed off, his discomfort evident. I reached for the carton of juice on the counter, motioning to one of the glasses beside it, silently asking if he'd like one.

He nodded, seemingly thankful for the subject change. I, however, was now entirely too curious.

"Was there something you wanted to talk to me about, dad?" I asked, handing out his juice to him.

"There was something, now that you mention it," he replied, settling his glass on the table without even taking a sip.

I brought my drink to my mouth, my smirk hidden behind the glass. "Go ahead," I nodded, trying to encourage him.

"I loved your mother, you know that right?"

My eyes widened – I was so not expecting that.

I nodded, this time it being out of necessity rather than encouragement. I'd heard more than enough stories from Renee on the subject in the past. Plus, like hell I was going to interrupt him now.

"Well, we've been apart for years now. And your mother... well, she remarried."

I held back from blurting, '_Yeah, to Phil, I know. I was at their wedding_', and simply continued to listen.

"It's natural that adults will make new... _friends_."

I took a large gulp of juice, trying not to laugh. I suddenly knew exactly what he was talking about.

I was ninety-nine percent sure Charlie was about to tell me about his relationship with Sue. At seven forty-two in the morning. Over orange juice.

The floor was suddenly really interesting to him. "You seem to get on well with Seth."

I shook my head, his none too subtle change of direction making my temples throb.

"Yeah," I agreed. A wave of compassion suddenly washed over me; I could see he was struggling to get this out.

_Ah, to hell with it... time to get rid of an elephant. _

I set my glass in the sink, turning back around to face him as I figured how to go about it.

"Dad, are you trying to tell me that you are Sue are dating now. And that she'll not replace Renee or whatever."

_Straight to the point it was then._

It was his turn to look startled, the hand that had been worrying his moustache freezing.

He cleared his throat, standing up a little straighter. "Err... something along those lines, yes."

I smiled, happy that he'd finally chosen to speak about it to me... well, attempted to anyway. Either way, it didn't matter to me.

"I've known for a few weeks now," I admitted, smoothing the nonexistent creases on my school skirt. "Seth too," I added, thinking I'd better let him in on that tid-bit of information.

"Oh."

Silence... nothing but silence.

"And you're okay with this?" he questioned, his tone of voice taking on that seriousness he used at work.

"Yep."

"Great," he said a little more confidently, the relief evident in the minute drop of his shoulders. I always noticed these small things – I wasn't a cop's daughter for nothing.

"Okay," I grinned, picking up my school bag.

"Okay," he repeated. "Good talk."

"Yep."

"I'm going to go get some sleep then," he said with a wave of his hand towards the stairs.

I followed him out into the hallway. "And I'm going to head on over to Alice's."

He glanced at his watch. "This early?"

_Crap, think of an excuse_. "Yeah, we're going to discuss kittens and bunnies... and stuff."

_Fail... so much fail_.

His moustache twitched, the evidence of a smile brewing somewhere underneath all that hair. "Have fun with that."

I looked anywhere but at him, my eyes doing that back and forth thing like one those cat clocks with the swinging tail. "I'm just going to head on out then."

"Tell Emmett to hold off on that gas pedal of his. I better not hear any squealing tires," he warned with an amused glint in his eyes.

I rolled my eyes. "Yeah, will do," I assured.

I hesitated with my fingers briefly touching the door handle. "Bye, Dad." I gave him a quick kiss on the cheek, something I didn't do that often due to the awkwardness that followed, but this morning warranted one.

I closed the door softly behind me and made my way next door.

It was still a little dark out, the sky not yet lightening for those chilly, but pretty, spring mornings.

My hand quickly reached for the rail beside me as I nearly tripped up the steps that led to Edward's room, my shoe scuffing the concrete as I did so. I let out a long sigh, knowing it was risky to be doing this, but this morning, I simply didn't care.

I could be stealth if needed... _kind of_. I just had to be careful not to trip over my own feet for a second time that day.

I peered in through the glass, but I didn't knock, not wanting to alert anyone else to my presence, instead choosing to quietly open the door before stepping inside.

Disappointment immediately filtered through me – he wasn't here.

Or at least I'd thought he wasn't. Arms suddenly encircled me from behind, causing me to scream out as instinct took over and I tried to wriggle free.

"Good Morning," a familiar voice whispered into my ear. My bag dropped to the floor with a dull thump as I spun round, hands instantly flying to his chest.

"You're going to give me a premature heart attack if you keep sneaking up on me like this," I breathed, staring up at his face. _Ugh, so pretty..._

His grin was infectious as he smiled down at me. "I wasn't the one sneaking into someone else's room," he corrected, pulling me closer.

I twisted my lips to the side as I playfully scowled back at him. "What were you doing hiding among the curtains anyway, creeper?" I joked back.

He laughed. "I wasn't hiding – I was just going out for a smoke."

My cheeks warmed with that familiar blush. "Oh."

"Yeah," he smiled, tucking my hair behind my ear. "So, to what do I owe the pleasure of your company this morning?"

I shrugged, and started playing with his tie. "Nothing... just wanted to say 'hi'."

"Well, then, _hi_."

Hands cupped my cheeks as his lips easily found mine, his kiss soft and sweet. My mouth opened in a contented sigh, which soon turned into a low groan as his mouth moved down my neck.

"I missed you this week," he admitted, sucking lightly on my skin, his tongue warm, yet creating chills.

My eyes closed. "Yeah?" I breathed, gripping his forearms as I leant my head back, giving his lips more room.

"I can't wait until I get you alone tonight."

My breathing caught, my voice ragged. "We won't exactly be alone, Edward."

I felt his smile against my skin. "We will if I get my way," he promised, kissing his way back to my mouth. "And you know better than anyone, that I usually do."

"Yeah... I suppose I do," I agreed, losing myself in his kisses once more.

Jasper had suggested we go camping tonight... despite the fact it was hardly the weather for it. Rose has argued that we should wait until the forecast predicted sunny skies, but we could be waiting weeks for that. And even then, the forecasters could get it wrong – they had before - many times, in fact.

The weather here was always unpredictable, as you never knew which way the dull sky would turn. So Alice and I had said, _screw it_, and agreed to go, which led to Rose finally giving in too.

Edward was adamant that he'd be sharing a tent with me, even though there was a very good chance the girls would all want to group together. I wouldn't be unhappy either way... although, if I was being honest, I definitely preferred Edward's idea.

After twenty minutes of fooling around on his bed, chaste kisses and touches above clothing, I crept down to the kitchen after finding Alice wasn't in her room as I'd expected.

I found her sitting at the breakfast bar eating what looked to be Cocoa Puffs, and was thinking about asking her for a bowl myself when I noticed she wasn't alone.

Carlisle was sitting at the kitchen table reading the newspaper with his usual mug of coffee in front of him. And fuck me if he wasn't shirtless. I rubbed my eyes, positive Edward's kissing had caused me to hallucinate. No, no, there he still was... pecs on display_._

_What is he doing sitting there like that? It's totally indecent at this hour. Not impressed at all. Nope._

_Oh my god did his arm muscles just flex? Do. Not. Whimper._

"Bella?"

Oh, right, Alice.

I cleared my throat. "Hey, morning, howdy."

Howdy, seriously? Idiot.

Alice raised her brows, giving me her, '_what the hell's up with you?' _look.

"I drank coffee this morning," I blurted, thinking that was a good enough excuse. Caffeine really did make me go a little loopy, so it wasn't a complete lie. I mean, I definitely had the loopy part down right then.

She smiled around a mouthful of cereal, her eyes shooting towards her hairline, easily accepting my answer.

"Is it alright if I grab some water?" I asked, needing the distraction.

"Sure, help yourself," she said, pointing towards the refrigerator with her spoon.

"Thanks," I sighed, grateful that I'd have something to hold onto so I wouldn't, I don't know, be tempted to start pawing at the doctor behind me.

I made quick word of the lid, and took a few large mouthfuls, cheeks blooming out.

"You looking forward to your camping trip tonight, kids?" He would have to speak wouldn't he? Wasn't it enough that he was sitting there looking all perfect and shit? Damn him.

"Yeah," I croaked out. "I haven't been in years."

I was tempted to ask him if he wanted to join us. I mean, there could be bears... or other things that frequented the woods that I just couldn't think of at that moment. He'd be the perfect form of protection, like a clean-cut Tarzan. He already had the bare chest down, and while I didn't think he'd look good in animal print fabrics, or whatever that dress thing Tarzan wore, he could wear jeans with holes in the knees, and maybe a woolly hat like a lumberjack. Or he could just forget Tarzan and be the lost lumberjack in the woods that looked after the weak and helpless. Not that I was either of those things, but if a time called for it, I totally could be. I could easily be his Jane... or lumberjack woman, if there was one.

I didn't watch many lumberjack movies.

"Oh, you've been before?" Carlisle's voice brought me out of my head, my cheeks warming as I worried my bottom lip.

I nodded. "Charlie and Billy used to take me and Jake all the time when we were kids," I answered, smiling at forgotten memories. "I'm an old pro," I winked.

_Jesus Christ, did I just wink at the man. Where's a hole in the ground when you need one? And Esme calls herself the perfect interior designer? I think not._

Thankfully he didn't seem to notice, or was simply ignoring it, as he let out a good natured laugh. "That's put my mind at ease a bit then. Alice hasn't been before. She refused to tag along with the boys whenever they went."

"That's because they threatened to put bugs in my hair," she pouted, swirling the milk around in her bowl.

"Who threatened to put bugs in your hair?" Emmett asked, appearing in the doorway with only one shoe on.

"You and Edward."

He grinned. "Oh yeah. You'd always end up crying to Mom."

"I did not!" Alice insisted, flicking a no-doubt-soggy Cocoa Puff at him.

"You did and you know it," he said, ruffling her hair. "Hey Dad, have you seen my other shoe?"

Carlisle glanced down at his feet. "Did you check the living room?"

"Yep," Em answered.

"Your bedroom?" Carlisle suggested.

"Yes," he sighed. "Twice."

"Garage?"

Em stopped short. "No, I'll go check."

I looked to Alice, shifting my eyes towards her brother; she simply gave me a shrug in return. It was Emmett after all. God knew what that boy got up to when no one was around.

And lo and behold, not two minutes later, we heard an, "I found it!" coming from that direction.

I snorted, recapping my bottle of water for like the tenth time.

Edward entered the room just as I was about to take another peek at bare skin, and suddenly all silly thoughts of Carlisle flew out the window. I let out an inconspicuous sigh - there was my Tarzan.

Damn, I really needed to think up a new comparison.

He didn't speak to anyone; he just went about getting some breakfast. I started tearing at the label on my bottle, feeling antsy with him so close to me. And to make matters worse, he came and stood really close to me, his back leaning against the counter top as he brought his spoon to his mouth time and time again.

I gritted my teeth, my tearing getting more vicious. He was so doing that on purpose.

"No work today, Dad?" he asked after a few minutes, his form somehow sliding closer.

Carlisle set down his paper, hands linked together. "Not until this afternoon," he answered. "I'm treating your mother to some lunch."

Alice and I exchanged smiles – it was cute seeing him smiling like that. Edward simply nodded and went back to his breakfast.

"I'm trusting you and Em to look after the girls tonight," Carlisle added after a few seconds. "Although, now knowing Bella's camping history, I should probably add her to the list too," he joked, this time sending _me_ the wink.

_Yeah, not gonna fly this time Doc. You missed your chance. Your son's in the room now, and he blocks out the sun and blinds me more than the stars and all that other mushy stuff._

"Oh, yeah, Bella has lots of experience when it comes to hands-on stuff," Edward said casually, agreeing with his father.

I bit the inside of my cheek, willing my face not to break out into my wide-eyed owl impression.

I turned to Edward, giving him an overly cheerful smile. My eyes, however, were threatening to cut off his balls. He didn't finish there though, oh no, his mouth carried on forming those irritating things called words.

"She takes the lead all the time, gets a good grip on those reins."

_Death_... he was going to die a very painful death.

"She always leads the experiments... in biology. She's the perfect partner."

I laughed along with him, my fists itching to connect with his face. Or hair. I could pull hair like nobody's business.

"That's good to hear you take your studies seriously, Bella," Carlisle nodded, oblivious to all of Edward's implications.

I glanced at Alice, wondering what she made of it all, but she was happily chatting away to Jasper and Rose. I hadn't even heard them come into the room. I guess rage blocked out everything else outside its giant pot of bubbling shit.

Esme breezed into the room, her floral perfume lingering behind her as she passed. She kissed us all good morning, all smiles. It had escaped my notice that she wasn't at her usual favoured position at the stove this morning, cooking everyone breakfast. But as I took a good look at her, I started to notice that wasn't the only thing that was off.

Her hair was untidy, which never happened. Plus, her shirt buttons were done up wonky. And as she gave Carlisle his kiss, all those puzzle pieces glued together. Shirtless husband and ruffled looking wife - didn't take a genius to work out what had happened in this kitchen this morning.

I quickly removed my hands from the counter top. _I really hope they disinfected this thing afterwards. Because, otherwise, ew, gross._

"Oh, before I forget, there's some blueberry muffins in that paper bag over there to take to school with you," Esme said, pointing to a bag beside Alice.

"Hell, yes," Jasper voiced, poking his face inside to take a look.

I just really hoped they were before-sex muffins. I could have asked I suppose, but I doubted, "Hey Esme, did you make these before playing doctor with the... well, doctor?" would go over all that well.

"We better get going," Alice sighed, pointing to the clock. "I have a quiz first thing that I can't be late for."

And with that we all filed out the door, Edward's fingers intentionally brushing against the backs of mine as we lingered behind the others.

That small bit of contact made me smile until well after lunch.

OoOoO

"We're camping here?" I asked, glancing around us in search of bears. I was still positive one of us would be eaten in our sleep. Even if this was an apparently bear free zone – or so Jasper had assured me - there was bound to be some other animal lurking, like a cricket or a massive spider. I was fair when it came to all creatures great and small – I treated them all with the same feeling: complete and utter disdain.

"Yeah, this looks like the same spot we used last year," Emmett deduced, shrugging his backpack off. "Let's get these tents set up before we lose all the natural light."

"I'm just going to stand back here and pass you things," I voiced, pulling my hat further over my ears. "Last time I tried to put up a tent, it collapsed on me, and then I couldn't find my way out."

There was a sudden roar of laughter, which I found wasn't coming just from Emmett's wide mouth, but everyone else's too.

"Shut up," I giggled, throwing a small twig at Jasper. "It was traumatic. I was only ten."

"Aww, poor baby," he teased, coming over to put his arm around my shoulders. "Don't worry, Al and I will protect you from the big, bad tent."

I flipped him the bird, halting when the last part of his sentence resonated within my head.

"I'm so not sharing a tent with you two," I said incredulously. "I don't want to hear sex noises all night."

I grimaced at his waggling brows, playfully shoving him off.

"Bella, _gross._ Brothers over here, remember?" Em interrupted with a shake of his head, motioning between himself and Edward.

I rolled my eyes. "I'll take the spare tent by myself," I said, knowing full well there wasn't one.

I gave a quick glance to Edward's bent over form, remembering our conversation. We had the whole thing planned out. Well he did, I'd just agreed to go along with it when he regaled me with it outside the doors, after gym class.

I blame him and his distracting mouth. Those lips could pull secrets from the toughest of informants.

"Wait, we only have three tents," Alice injected. "Edward's got the last one."

"And why does Edward get to have it?" I asked, brow raised in mock irritation.

"Because I called dibs on it before you did," Edward answered, shaking the floor covering out ready. "You can fight me for it if you want," he smirked, playing along.

"I would, but it wouldn't be a fair fight," I sighed. He nodded in agreement.

I grinned. "I mean, you really wouldn't stand a chance."

Em laughed, punching his brother's arm. "That's fighting talk for you right there."

"Isabella Swan: fists of steel," Rose smirked, sending me a wink.

"Exactly," I grinned, bending down to help Edward secure the pegs through the premade holes in the bottom of the covering.

"Well, we'll just have to share," he said casually, not looking up. "I'm not prepared to shack up with any of these love birds."

"Aww, come on Edward," Jasper piped up. "You can snuggle with me."

"Like fuck I will," Edward replied, lighting a cigarette.

I swallowed against the sudden lump in my throat, feeling four other pairs of eyes on me as they awaited my answer. "Fine, but make sure you stay on your side of the tent," I said snippily. Or at least I hoped it sounded that way. I was too nervous to tell. I could have sounded like Lionel Richie for all I knew.

"Fine," he shrugged, standing up. "It's settled then."

"Okay," I nodded, wiping my hands on my jeans.

I saw Edward smile to himself from my periphery as he started brushing leaves from his path with his hands. "Em, hand me that bag will you?"

I didn't look up from the task at hand, banging down the metal pegs with a rather heavy stone. No one said anything, a quiet sigh of relief immediately escaping through my parted lips.

I'd been so nervous when Edward insisted he'd be sharing a tent with me. I thought the others would find it weird, especially considering that to them, we weren't particularly close. It would have been more natural for me to share a space with anyone else _but_ him.

But thankfully they seemed to want to pair off anyway, a night away from  
parents - too good an opportunity to pass up. And for once, I wouldn't be the spare wheel, as I'd be sleeping next to the boy who was constantly on my mind... and in my heart. And even in my bedroom when he got the chance.

"Get that away from me!"

Alice's screaming interrupted my reverie, and I turned around in time to see Emmett chasing her around with something in his hands.

I shook my head in amusement, laughing harder when Rose started shouting at Jasper to help her set up her and Em's tent, as, in her exact words, her boyfriend was too busy being a fuck wit.

"I swear I could live off s'mores," Alice said around a mouthful of chocolatey marshmallow. "Not only are they the best tasting food ever, they're also fun," she nodded.

We were sitting around a small and pathetic looking fire, all the tents now set up – it had taken a good two hours to finish all three. It wouldn't have taken nearly as long, but the boys decided to have an impromptu wrestling match while we girls took off in search of branches and twigs for the fire, muttering about the fact they weren't men the whole time.

Emmett's current nickname was Petal.

Edward managed to get a fire going after we'd returned, and after taking a glance at it, it looked like it was going to extinguish itself at any minute. The ground wasn't dry enough, neither was the kindling really. But it had served its purpose long enough: s'mores - as many as our stomachs could handle, which in Emmett's case... and actually, all of us tonight, was a lot.

I looked over the fire to Edward, who was digging a stick into the dirt, bits of soil flicking into Rose's hair each time he did it. She didn't seem to notice as her head rested on Em's knee, his fingers slowly running through it – he shot Edward warning glances every time a clump hit his hand. I nearly said something, but then Jazz shook his head all panic like, evidently not wanting a fight start out in the middle of nowhere. Not that this was really that far from the road - it only took us like twenty minutes to walk here.

Esme had phoned twice, and even Charlie had called, demanding I put him on speakerphone so he could give his usual, 'don't do anything stupid' and 'make sure you put out that fire before bed' speech. Em joked with him for a bit, before I hung up with a quick 'bye'.

"I think I'm going to head off to bed," Edward announced, complete with yawn. I grabbed another s'more from the pile, filling my mouth with it so I couldn't blurt out, _'Yeah, me too, let's go do it'_.In fact, I didn't even look at him... couldn't. I mumbled a goodnight around another s'more – it was necessary – and instead let Alice braid my hair.

Jasper was complaining he needed to pee, asking Alice if she'd keep a look out for him.

I cracked up laughing, all the sugar making me silly. "Yeah, I heard spiders can be real perverts this time of year. Watch out for their cameras, you never know where those pictures could end up."

This set Alice off giggling, who then started hopping about saying she needed to pee too. Em and Rose had retreated to their tent about twenty minutes before, not long after the fire had finally died out.

"I think I'm going to head off and get some sleep now, guys," I yawned, stretching my arms over my head.

"Okay, us too after this one's peed," she giggled, hooking her thumb over her shoulder at Jasper who was now hissing.

She blew me a kiss before laughing at Jasper some more, my own smile matching hers as he tripped over a tree stump in his haste.

The tents were spaced far enough apart so that each one had their own privacy, but still close enough that we could shout to one another if needed.

I unzipped the front of the green one I knew Edward to be in, placing the torch light on the ground as I crawled inside.

Edward was lying on his back, his own light abandoned by the side of his sleeping bag. His chest rose and fell with the steady rhythm of sleep, so I made sure to be as quiet as I could so I wouldn't wake him.

I had removed my boots, and was in the process of doubling up my socks when legs and arms encircled me and pulled me backwards. I immediately started laughing, my mouth pressed against Edward's shoulder to muffle out the sound.

"You were gone too long," he mumbled, still sounding half asleep. I smiled against his sweater, my legs still half in the air as he refused to let go of me. "_My_ girlfriend, not _theirs_."

My stomach clenched, his words making my heart do that crazy fast beat – the kind that made me want to smile and cry and be an over emotional girl, complete with tissues and chocolate and movies that made it all worse.

It was the first time he'd referred to me as such. Neither one of us had mentioned my little slip in the email I'd written two days before, and I purposely hadn't brought it up, too afraid to do it face to face.

This was different... and nice… just so damn perfect. It finally felt as if we were getting somewhere.

"Now get inside that sleeping bag before I zip you inside it myself," he said lowly, his breath tickling my hair.

"You wouldn't dare," I whispered. "I'm my own person, I can do what I-"

He'd apparently had enough of my talking, as he was soon rolling us over towards where he'd been previously sleeping.

"Edward," I giggled, trying to push him away by the shoulders as he started to nuzzle his face into my neck and blow raspberries against my skin. "Stop, stop," I smiled, biting my lip so hard to stop myself from crying out.

His stubble continued to tickle my skin, each press of his lips threatening to push me over the edge.

"Are you going to do as I say?" he asked, pulling his face back so I could see him clearly.

I pretended to think. "Um... I'm not sure, I really think I need to get some fresh air," I smiled. "I'll be right back."

I made the move to get up, but his hands pinned mine beside my head as he returned to his nuzzling.

"Okay, okay," I pleaded lowly, tears escaping my eyes as I tried really hard not to laugh.

He smile was victorious as his face hovered just above mine. "Good."

My fingers found his cheeks, my heart and throat full as I instinctively spoke the words I felt so strongly at that moment.

"I love you."

* * *

**I know, she finally said it. ;)**

**Reviews will get a teaser for the next chapter.**

**This weeks recs are: 'Sleep on the Floor' by sexyceral. This fic is so under loved, so if you have a spare minute, please take a look.**

**And 'Royal Rebellions' by xNimC - this Bella cracks me up. The whole fic has a really fun vibe to it.**

**Thank you so much for reading. ****VHL xx**


	34. Chapter 34

**Hey everyone! I know it's been a while since the last update, so thank you for your patience. For various health reasons I was simply in no state to write. ****I'm hoping to get the chapters out regularly again. :)**

**Huge thanks to Susan and Judy who always put a smile on my face and work through this mess to make it readable. They are the best.**

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns Twilight and all its characters.**

* * *

Edward

The wind had picked up, the sides of the tent rolling like waves as the gusts blew against the dark green material. My gaze kept drifting back and forth between Bella's face and the makeshift pillow supporting her head, anxiety welling up inside me like coffee cups left outside in the rain.

All the playing from moments before had vanished, carried away by the breeze. She looked scared, and just about as nervous as I felt. _Oh God, what do I do?_

My head swam and my mouth felt dry, the sudden and intense ringing in my ears not helping matters. She continued to stare up at me, eyes wide and dark, shining with that fear that I knew was due to my own silence.

Her earlier sentiment repeated itself in my head, unbidden and just as disarming.

_I love you._

I hadn't considered Bella ever voicing those words to me; in fact, I didn't even know she felt that strongly. I started examining every little thing, rapid questions flying through my head as swift and precise as an arrow to its target. They kept coming and coming, a flurry of words that made my eyes squeeze tightly shut.

"I'm sorry," she whispered, her voice thick. "I shouldn't have..."

I shook my head. A big part of me wanted to run, pretend I hadn't heard her say anything, live in complete ignorance. But then I thought about not seeing her every day, and those thoughts disappeared, storm clouds making way for clearer skies, just without the sun.

We were in limbo, waiting for the other to make the next move, voice the next words that could possibly elevate the situation to the unthinkable. I was panicked, there was no denying that. Did she expect something more from me now? Did she want me to say the words back?

And was I expected to, whether I was ready for that or not?

Suddenly everything felt too much, too claustrophobic, my chest tight with anxiety. If I had repeated those words back to her on impulse, rather than fully meaning them, it would have ended badly. Not necessarily straight away, but lies, whether meant kindly or not, always came back to haunt you. And yet, if I said nothing, and didn't repeat those three words, she'd think I didn't care, that I wasn't serious about my feelings for her, or my previous promise to _try._ And that right there would have been just as untruthful. I liked Bella... _more _than liked her. But love? Was I ready for that after only just being able to admit to myself that she meant more to me than any of the other girls I'd ever stupidly been interested in? I cared about her and hated going more than a day before I saw her next. I loved her laugh, and the way she'd play with her hair when nervous; the way she'd give me those silent—yet purposeful—looks that let me know when I was being an asshole. I'd told her things about myself that I hadn't repeated to anyone else but family. She was special... _different_, and meant a lot to me. I didn't want to lose her over my inability to express myself properly.

"No," I said eventually, my voice hoarse and sounding strange to my own ears. I glanced down at her quickly before looking away again. "It's..."

Her hand finally left my face. She didn't want to touch me. "It's what?"

I moved off her slowly, settling at her side. "Perhaps we should just get some sleep?"

I was being a coward, I knew that. But it was all too much for an emotional cripple like me to take in all at once. I simply couldn't think straight.

This time it was her turn to close her eyes, her lips pressing together tightly. "Yeah, sure," was all she replied with. I was expecting more... _more_ insistence, _more_ of a fight. I'd crushed her spirit. I felt like a bigger piece of shit.

Despite a big part of myself wanting to forget this—the part filled with irrational yet _oh so real _fear—I also didn't want to leave it like this... like I didn't care. I figured honesty was the best policy at this point. Frustrated, I whispered, "I don't know what I should say."

She shook her head on the pillow. "Nothing... you don't have to saying anything."

My brows rose. "You seem like you want me to," I shot back, watching her eyelashes flicker.

A sad smile formed on her lips, her eyes dejected. "Maybe," she shrugged. "But I can't help you with that, Edward. I won't put words into your mouth."

I nodded, my gaze drifting to my fingers. She spoke again.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean for it to come out like this... here... _now_. I didn't plan it or anything."

My head snapped up. "So you didn't mean it?"

She eyed me seriously, gaze unwavering. "No," she said with a shake of her head, and something akin to a punch to the stomach sailed through me. But she hadn't finished.

"I meant it."

The relief I felt at her admission was strong; so strong it confused the hell out of me. On one hand, I wished we could turn the clocks back, rewind to the place before she uttered her feelings and changed our dynamic. And yet, on the other, I found myself wanting to smile that that was how she truly felt.

I was seriously messed up.

She sighed, breaking through my reverie. "I don't know what you're thinking right now, but I mean it when I say I didn't say it for you to say it back."

I looked at her expression; my eyes meeting hers before she turned away. I was met with the profile of her face as she stared at the roof of the tent, and I knew... just _knew_, that she was being truthful.

"You know I care about you though, right?" I questioned, stilling the anxious movement of my hands.

She licked her lips, her attention once more focused on me. "Yeah, I think so."

I swallowed against the lump in my throat and pulled her to me, ignoring her slight hesitation and attempt to keep what small distance there was between us in place.

"I'm sorry," I said this time, repeating her words back to her, at a loss at what else to say.

But this time she didn't reply. Instead she simply lay in my arms, her hand limp on my chest as she faked exactly what I'd suggested minutes before.

Sleep.

OoOoO

It was still pretty dark out when I woke; the air crisp and sharp to my lungs as I unzipped the tent opening as quietly as I could. No one else was awake yet, the only sounds assailing me belonged to the birds and whatever else resided in these parts. I tried not to think much about that component.

I fumbled around in my pocket for the lighter I'd shoved in there moments before, grasping the warm plastic in my hand as I pulled it out. I sat on one of the old tree stumps, knees far apart as I momentarily stared at the ground. I'd hardly gotten any sleep, practically next to nothing, in fact. I kept going over everything that had happened; over and over again until I thought I'd burst. But then I'd start the process for a second time, a third, continuing until, finally, I must have drifted off.

If Bella was restless, she didn't indicate it. As soon as her eyes had closed, she'd barely even shifted for the rest of the night. Her breathing had been even, and whatever it was she was feeling, she was keeping a tight lid on it. I wish I had that constraint. I felt like I was losing it. I wanted to grab her shoulders and shake her awake, and do... I don't know what. Her words had gotten so far under my skin I was afraid they'd never go away. An itch that was impossible to reach.

With my cigarette dangling between my lips, I finally brought the flame to the tip, cherry burning bright. I sat there like that for a while longer, inhaling slowly, and exhaling even more so, until I stumped it out on the ground beneath my shoes.

I knew everyone would start stirring soon, so I made my way back to the tent, trying to be as quiet as I had when leaving it. The effort was wasted though. Because as soon I bent down ready to crawl back in, I was met with tired brown eyes. I guess that answered my previous query.

"Hi," I said, zipping the flap back up behind me as I kicked off my shoes.

She smiled weakly, one that was quickly taken over by a yawn. "Hey."

"Didn't sleep well?" I questioned, knowing full well that she hadn't.

She shrugged, severing eye contact. "It was okay. I got a little."

I nodded even though she couldn't see the gesture, and settled down beside her, picking at the sleeping bag still covering her legs.

I didn't want things to be awkward, and I hated this feeling of not knowing what to say to her. That was one thing Bella and I usually had no problem with, even before anything complicated had happened. If I was sarcastic, she'd be even more so. And if she was playful, I'd match it.

With that in mind, I leaned forward and started placing small kisses on the side of her neck, slow and soft. She exhaled loudly, and almost against her own will tilted her head to give me further room.

"Bella," I breathed, cradling the other side of her head with my hand, "you hair is like a bird's nest." I smiled against her cheek before she pushed me away, just like I knew she would, eyes narrowed and lips formed into a perfect little pout.

I started laughing, which made her expression harden further, but I could see that glint in her eye that I'd been looking for.

"Jerk," she expressed, hitting me in the arm. I caught her wrist just as she was pulling it back, and tugged her forward until she landed on her knees in front of me.

"No, it's cute, I like it," I smirked, running a hand over her hair. I took a deep breath. "I like _you_."

She gazed down at me, hands now resting on my shoulders, fingers moving over the cotton of my t-shirt. I grasped her hips, guiding her until she was straddling me, never leaving her gaze.

"What am I going to do with you, Edward Cullen?" she murmured, her arms moving to wrap around my neck.

I shifted underneath her, my arms encircling her waist—pulling her closer—and with a smirk said, "I can think of a few things."

She laughed, framing my face with her hands before lowering her mouth to mine. I lost myself in her kiss, groaning lowly when her tongue touched my bottom lip, teasing me. Then she pushed down on me, and my breath caught in my throat as she started rocking, slowly at first, then more insistent. I held her hips firmly, helping her move, teeth finding her lip, teasing her right back. I tugged at it gently, her hands in my hair tightening in reaction before she captured my mouth completely.

And just as I was thinking about removing her shirt, wanting the feel of her bare skin in my hands, I heard movement outside, our lips immediately separated. Her cheeks were flushed, her breathing just as laboured as mine as we stared back at each other, neither one wanting to move but knowing we had to.

I reached up, tucking her hair behind her ear. "I'm sorry," I murmured, seeing the sadness lurking behind her eyes, threatening to break out like rain on gloomy days.

She leaned forward, pressing a soft kiss to my mouth before whispering, "I'm hopeful that one day you'll want to stop hiding, Edward. Not just from them, but from me as well."

And with that, she pulled away, leaving me alone in the tent with nothing but my thoughts, and more prominently, my ever-increasing guilt.

OoOoO

Valentine's Day was the worst day of the year in my opinion. I looked at it as one giant scam, the stores wanting to make a quick buck off the susceptible idiots who spent their money on items that weren't even that special. Stores sold candy and champagne all year round, that shit wasn't going anywhere. Plus, I'd never been one to listen much to other people telling me what I should or shouldn't do; so someone telling me I had to buy gifts on a particular day could go swivel. I bet half the couples who exchanged gifts were cheating on one another anyway: remorse in the form of soft toys with stupid smiling faces and sugar. _Genius, all is forgiven_.

I was rubbing the sleep from my eyes as I walked into the kitchen, and instantly thought about keeping them covered. Esme and Carlisle were pawing all over each other; whispers and soft giggles increased the gross factor.

"God, you two do know you have a perfectly fine bedroom upstairs, right?" I snapped. I was so not in the mood for public displays of affection this early in the morning. In fact, I'd purposefully gotten up before I usually did in the hopes of beating everyone else before they came downstairs. My optimism of dodging all this kissy-kissy crap was obviously misplaced.

"Someone's groggy this morning," Mom replied, getting up off Dad's lap to put the coffee machine on. I didn't answer her, just simply rolled my eyes.

"And anyway," she continued, "none of you kids are usually up at this time." I felt like saying, _yeah, as if that excuses it_.

"Couldn't sleep," I lied, half mumbling.

"Oh, is something wrong?" She walked over to me, running her hand through my hair—that I was sure was sticking up in every different direction imaginable—her eyes showing her ever-present concern when she thought one of us was in some kind of trouble.

"Yeah, I'm fine," I assured, giving her a smile that I hoped would result in her dropping the subject. She looked at me for a few moments longer, light eyes searching, before placing a brief kiss against my temple.

"Okay, I'll make you some breakfast." Mom could read us all easily enough, but at the same time, knew when to leave things alone. I nodded in thanks, trying to flatten my hair back down as best I could.

I knew I took after Dad with my hair: the pictures of him at my age showed I'd inherited the very same wayward strands, just in a different colour. And as I looked up, I noticed him smirking at me.

"What?" I asked, tracing the knots in the wooden table with my finger.

"I was wondering what your plans were for tonight? I've heard Alice talking about some party or other, you not going?" I shrugged, speculating where he was going with this.

"I don't know yet," I answered, infinitely narrowing my eyes at him, curious to his sudden interest. "Why?"

"No reason really," he said, smiling in thanks at Mom as she set a cup of coffee in front of him. "I'm just surprised you haven't got a girlfriend yourself yet, especially with the amount of times girls phone this house asking for you."

My finger paused. "Too much hassle," I answered, pushing my chair back as I walked over to the fridge to grab some juice.

"So there's no special girl in your life?" Mom asked, setting a plate of pancakes on the table for us to help ourselves to.

I sat back down, waving my fork back and forth between the two of them. "What's with the twenty questions?" I queried, spearing a few pancakes.

Mom smiled. "Well, you haven't been home that much lately, I thought you maybe had a girlfriend you weren't telling us about."

I tried to keep my expression neutral, thinking of the amount of time the past week alone I'd spent at Bella's house while Charlie was at the station. "Nope," I said, then paused. "And who the hell tells their parents that kind of shit anyway?"

"Language," Dad admonished, settling his cup back on the table.

"Sorry," I mumbled, my mouth full.

"And don't talk with your mouth full," Mom added, earning a chuckle from Dad. I rolled my eyes.

"You two are impossible to be around when you're like this," I voiced, taking a big gulp of juice before wiping my mouth with the back of my hand.

Finished with breakfast, I headed upstairs to my room, receiving a headlock from Emmett on the way up.

"God, Bigfoot, I've only just eaten," I complained once he'd let me go.

He waved me off. "I thought I could smell something cooking." His nose tilted to the air. "Waffles?"

I laughed—he was like a damn sniffer dog. "No, pancakes."

"Even better," he grinned, taking off down the stairs without another word. I shook my head and continued to laugh to myself as I left to go shower.

The drive to school was hassle-free apart from the fact Alice had asked to ride with me. Rose and Jasper's mom had found a new boyfriend, and as it was Valentine's Day, she wanted them both to meet him, over breakfast. _Classy_. She was even giving them a ride to school with her new boyfriend in tow, trying to express they were a tight family unit. Apparently, according to Jazz, he was big on that sort of thing. Emmett took the Jeep by himself so there would be enough room for everyone after school, laughing smugly when I shouted at Alice for slamming the car door too hard. Bella was making her own way in today, some after school commitment she'd forgotten about last minute. Or so she said.

I pulled into the parking lot, dodging people who seemed to be carrying or wearing far too much red. Boxes, and bows, and painted lips. Sick. I'd never been more thankful for school uniforms.

"Don't frown, Edward. It makes you look ugly." I gave Alice the finger as I turned off the ignition, eyes drifting to find Bella's car amongst the rest. I found it, and cracked a small smile. Fucking red. Of course.

"What's so funny?"Alice asked, trying to follow my line of sight.

I turned to look at her. "You ask far too many questions. And you wonder why some find you annoying, overbearing, nosy. The list goes on."

She scowled. "They do not. I'm just friendly. There's nothing wrong with being _nice_, Edward."

I rolled my eyes. "Keep telling yourself that."

"God, you really are Scrooge-like this morning."

I laughed. "It's not Christmas, Alice. It's bad luck to speak about it."

"So, it's still a holiday that you're taking all the cheer from. Look at the people around you, Edward. They're in love," she sang, attempting to pinch my cheek.

"It's called complacency," I muttered back.

"We'll see," she winked, jumping out of the car as she spotted Bella making her way across to us. I hadn't noticed her sitting on the steps in front of the school until the last minute.

To be honest, I was a little wary about how today was going to play out, especially after her revelation last week. I hadn't planned anything special, hadn't bought her a... _gift_ so to speak. I had, however, noticed something as I was waiting for Alice this morning by the car; so I took it. I hoped it was enough.

I followed Alice's direction and got out of the car, but made no further move than that, determined to hold my feet steady despite the urge to carry on walking to where I wanted to be. Emmett pulled into a spot next to where Bella and Alice were talking, and soon enough she was pulled off her feet and into a hug. My hands fisted in my pockets—I was jealous of my own brother. I wanted to be the one doing that. And simultaneously knew it was my own fault why I wasn't.

I finally made my way over, trying to appear distracted instead of extremely aware of the fact Bella was in touching distance.

The more I saw couples exchanging kisses beside their cars, the more I hated this stupid fucking holiday. That winged baby with the bow had a lot to answer for.

"I'm heading inside," I sighed, shrugging my backpack a little higher on my shoulder. "I'll see you guys later."

"I'll walk with you," Bella said. "I have to go to my locker before class."

I nodded, holding a hand out for her to walk first. "You coming, Al?"

She shook her head. "I'm going to wait for Jazz," she replied, up on tiptoes as she craned her head over cars and students to see if he'd arrived. "He said he's got me a surprise," she said happily.

Bella laughed.

"Okay, we'll see you later then."

We walked in silence until we got to the steps.

"Morning," I smirked as I held the door open for Bella. She gave me a smile in return.

"Hi."

More silence.

"Do you really have to go to your locker?" I asked. Her smile grew.

"No."

I nodded. "Good."

I pulled her into one of the music rooms, knowing this part of the school would be practically deserted. Not many students were that interested in learning how to play the piano or violin or whatever, and especially not before classes began.

"Happy Valentine's Day," I smiled as she stepped in to my arms.

She raised a brow. "I thought you didn't believe in all this... _'lovey-dovey'_stuff, as you so eloquently put it last night."

I laughed, my hands resting on her hips. "I don't, but I thought I'd make a very small exception for you," I winked.

She narrowed her eyes playfully. "Only a _very small_ one?" she pondered aloud. "I'm not sure if that's enough."

She was teasing me, and as she went to pull away I grabbed her soundly around the waist and lifted her onto a one of the desks.

"Stay," I warned lightly. "I have something for you." She looked surprised.

"Again, it's only a small something," I continued, "so don't get excited, but I saw it and just thought... well, I thought you might like it, so..."

I unzipped my bag carefully and pulled out the white rose I'd commandeered from Esme's garden. It had stood out to me amongst all the red, just like she'd stood out to me all those months ago back in the rain.

I cleared my throat, feeling a little awkward. "This is for you."

She stared at the rose for a few seconds before taking it gently from my outstretched hand. "Thank you," she whispered, fingers running over the pale petals.

"It's nothing. I actually kind of stole it, but-"

I was cut off by her lips. "I. Love. It," she said between further kisses. "So just shut up and kiss me."

I would have been stupid not to.

OoOoO

I took a mouthful of coke, nearly spitting it back out again when I noticed Mike Newton holding a pink box of some sort. But this wasn't what had made me laugh. I took another look—he was handing out cupcakes... to the _lunch ladies_.

"What's so funny?" Jazz asked, leaning slightly across the table towards me. I pointed behind me, to where Mike was happily chatting away, earning laughs and sniggers from those behind him in the line.

Jazz immediately cracked up. "Is he... _flirting_?"

I held in another laugh. "Certainly fucking looks like it," I said as I set my drink back on the table.

Mike didn't stop there though. I watched as he handed a girl from the grade below us a cupcake, her cheeks immediately flaming as she took it from him gingerly with a small, shy nod in thanks.

Then his attention focused on our table, and I had a pretty good idea why he was headed this way.

I had to resist the urge to trip him when he got close enough.

"Incoming," Jazz mumbled, nudging Bella with his elbow.

"Huh?" she asked, pulling away from her conversation with Alice and Rose as she rubbed her arm.

"Oh God, he can't be serious?" Rose had evidently caught on.

Bella looked between the three of us, confusion overtaking her features. "Who can't?"

But it was too late.

"Hi, Bella!" Then she got it.

She cleared her throat, looking among us all before speaking. "Oh, hi, Mike," she answered, giving him a smile.

"Happy Valentine's Day!" he shouted, his voice unnecessarily loud—he didn't need to draw any more attention to himself, he already had enough people staring at him.

She blushed, looking entirely too uncomfortable. "Um, yeah, you too," she mumbled.

_He looks so cheerful and pleased with himself... and if he doesn't stop staring at her chest I'll break his face._

"So, what's in the box, Mike?" Em asked, trying to take a peek, his nose doing that tilting upwards in the air thing once again. I managed to hide my laugh with a cough.

This time it was Mike's cheeks that turned a little pink. "It's nothing extravagant or anything," he replied. "I just wanted to give my favourite girl friends—you know, friends, who are girls, not the other kind—a little something." His cheeks were now red at this point.

"Every girl deserves to be spoiled. After all, it _is_ Valentine's Day." He reached into the box.

"Here, Bella," he voiced, placing a cupcake with a little heart in the middle, in front of her.

I wanted to take that heart and snap it in two.

I looked over to her, trying to gauge her reaction. She met my eyes but quickly looked away again.

"Aw, Mike, that's adorable,"Alice said happily, a big grin on her face as she nodded in approval. I simply rolled my eyes.

His confidence was back. "It's really nothing," he said with a wave of his hand. "And, I have one for you and Rose, too." By this point Alice was like one of those creepy clowns with the really wide smiles that take over their faces. Rose on the other hand, didn't seem all that excited.

"Thanks, this is really sweet," Bella said dutifully. In fact, I think she actually meant it.

Mike was placing a cupcake with purple frosting in front of Rose, when Emmett piped up. "Wait, where's ours?"

"What part of _girls_ didn't you understand?"Alice questioned, rolling her eyes before taking a bite of her cake.

"This is sexist," he replied, indignation colouring his voice. He looked almost pitiful.

"If I had enough, I'd let you have one," Mike assured, although I very much doubted he would. The boy was a creeper. He probably had lessons from his father.

Emmett wasn't listening though. In fact, he suddenly had his hands beneath the table, all argument gone. "No matter," he said, sighing dramatically.

"Okay, well, I'll carry on with my rounds," he said jokingly, waving the box in his hands as if it contained the most fascinating thing in the world.

And as soon as Mike's back was turned, Emmett brought his contraband for all to see and took a huge bite of the stolen cupcake. Someone wouldn't be getting their Valentine offNewtonthis year.

"Emmett!"Alice hissed, slapping Jasper's hand away as he swiped a bit of frosting off her cupcake with his finger. "Go give it back!"

I laughed. "I don't think anyone is going to want that back," I pointed out. "And anyway, he's already finished it. Wrapper included by the looks of things."

Rose snorted, shaking her head at Emmett as he eyed her untouched offering on the table. "Just take it," she told him, earning her a sloppy kiss. She pretended she was disgusted, but the look in her eye gave her away. As much as she came across as a cold bitch, she adored Emmett. There weren't many people that would put up with him, or know how to rein him in when he got overly excited. He was still ten years old at heart.

"Oh my God, these are actually really good," Bella moaned, her voice muffled with her mouth full.

"Mhmmm,"Alice hummed, wadding up the wrapper and setting it on her lunch tray.

"I've had better," Em shrugged, earning a giggle from Bella.

He winked back at her, leaning forward in his seat with his hands clasped, as if in friendly interrogation mode. "So, my little SVB-"

Bella was suddenly coughing, her hand on her chest as she tried to take a breath. Em slapped her on the back until it her water for her.

And I realized she still hadn't told me what that nickname stood for. I'd have to remedy that at some point today.

"You okay?" Rose asked, concern playing across her face.

"Yeah, sorry, cake just went down the wrong way," she croaked, eyes slightly watery.

"Amateurs," Em teased, rubbing her back again just to make sure. "Anyway, as I was saying—his eyes lit up again, and I knew he was about to tease her in some way or another—how many secret admirers have you got this year?"

She set her water back down. "None. Absolutely none."

His brows rose. "No hot date for later? You're not meeting anyone at the beach?"

She shook her head. "Nope"

"Not even Jake?" he asked. "You guys were dating. Cupid may hit you two with his love arrow again, you never know. Ow!" he bent down to rub his leg, Rose suddenly staring daggers at his head.

This time I wanted to break Emmett's face.

Bella just smiled. "He'll be there, but not with me."

Wait, when had she spoken to him? She was avoiding looking at me, knowing very well I was trying to covertly catch her gaze. I looked down and stabbed at my half-eaten burger on my tray with my fork.

"Speaking of secret admirers, here comes one that just needs to be hit with an arrow in general...preferably a hunter's," Alice grumbled, eyes morphed into slits. I couldn't agree more.

"Afternoon, all." James pulled up a chair—next to Bella of course—and sat on it backwards, looking like a fucking douche.

An unenthusiastic response of mumbles was his only reply.

"You all going to the party later?" he asked, his eyes hovering on Bella, obviously only really caring about her answer.

She nodded. "Yeah. You?"

He rested his head in his hand, elbow on the table. "Yeah, not like there's anywhere else to go in this town." It was true.

She hummed in agreement, spinning the lid to her water bottle on the table.

Suddenly he was smiling across at me. "What about you, Edward? How many girls have you got lined up for later."

Bella stopped spinning the lid, her hand flattening, halting its movement.

"Go away, James," I sighed.

He laughed. "That many, huh?" Then he leaned in closer to Bella, as if about to whisper secrets into her ear.

"Edward here, used to be with a different girl every month," he said, still close to her but not bothering to lower his voice.

She pulled her head back a little. "Fascinating," she told him, face seemingly impassive.

He continued. "A leopard doesn't change its spots. I think he's just being shy about how many girls he'll see later. Right, Eddie?"

My hands were fisted under the table, and my knee was bouncing in a steady succession. I needed to leave before I did something stupid that I most likely wouldn't regret... at least not to his jaw. But I didn't want to give him the satisfaction of thinking he'd gotten to me. Even if it was true.

But then I heard Jazz slap the table with his laughter, obviously having drifted apart from our conversation. It seemed everyone but Alice had, actually.

"Newton's so about to get a kick to the nads. I don't know if I can watch."

We all followed his line of sight, and watched as Mike held out a cupcake to none other than Victoria. They'd grown up living next door to each other, and after some incredibly embarrassing moments when they'd been around twelve—he walked in on her while she was changing too many times to simply be just a coincidence—she'd decided to make his life hell. Well, at least she had for a little while.

It was like we were watching in slow motion. At one point the cake was in her hand, and the next it was being squished into his face.

I closed just the one eye in a half wince, but I couldn't help but smirk. He most definitely had that coming.

"Oh God," Bella whispered.

"Poor Mike," Alice added.

James just laughed, now apparently bored with us as he left to go rub Mike's face in it a little more. Dick.

"And who said Valentine's Day wasn't romantic?" Jazz laughed, getting to his feet after a long pause of us all just staring at Mike as he attempted to wipe the frosting from his suit, going with him to dump the trays.

"Should we go help him or something?" Bella asked, pity in her eyes as she looked at us in turn.

Rose waved it off. "He'll be fine. He knows where the bathrooms are, nothing a bit of soap and water won't fix."

"Or a shrink," I added, earning a glare from Bella. Whoa.

I held up my hands. "Sorry, I didn't know you felt that strongly about Newton."

She sucked in her cheeks. "I don't." I loved teasing her. Loved watching her face change from one expression to another.

"Was it the cupcake that did it for you?" I continued.

She leaned back in her seat a little. "It was a nice thing to do."

I captured her foot between mine under the table. "So a man who can bake is important to you?" I smirked.

I could see her trying not to smile. "Evidently not."

"What the hell are you two going on about?" Emmett asked, obviously catching part of our conversation. "Who's baking what?"

I stood up, the chair legs squeaking against the floor. "Nothing, Em."

We filed out of the cafeteria, pausing just outside the doors.

"Bella, come over around six tonight and we'll get ready together."

"Okay, sounds good," she replied, hugs exchanged between all the girls before they scattered to go to their different lessons.

"Why do they always do that?" I wondered aloud. "They're going to see each again in a few hours."

"I have no idea, but we better not start doing that shit. People will talk," Jazz smirked, waving over his hand over his head as he wondered off to class.

I turned to Emmett who had his arms wide open. "What, no hug?"

I laughed and started for the lockers where I knew Bella would be. "I'm all out of hugs today, Em."

His guffaw echoed in the hallway long after he'd pushed through the doors leading to the geography department.

Bella was just closing her locker when I came up behind her. I looked down the corridor to make sure no one else was around before pulling her hair to the side to place a kiss to the side of her neck.

"Hi," I murmured, trapping her in with my hands either side of her. She turned around, books clutched to her chest.

"Yes?" she asked, smiling.

"I'm here to interrogate you," I smirked, closing in further until her back was against the lockers.

She glanced to the side, her smile big. "Oh, really? And what will this interrogation include? Dark rooms with a singular, too-bright light in my face? Bribes?"

My smile matched hers. "Not exactly, although I'm sure I could arrange it, if that's what you're into."

"As if you don't already know," she said, her cheeks turning rosy.

I put my lips to her ear, "Oh, I know."

The bell rang, indicating we were late. Neither of us moved.

"I was wondering about Em's nickname for you," I said, trailing my lips across her cheek. "What does it mean?"

She gripped my sweater in her hands. "None of your business," she breathed.

I smiled. "No?"

"No." One of her hands trailed down my chest, pausing at the button on my trousers. I took a deep breath.

"I can't persuade you?" I questioned, running my hand up the back of her thigh.

Her lips parted. "I very much doubt it."

I watched her mouth. "I could always try," I breathed, my eyes flicking back to her gaze. She opened her mouth further, as if to speak, but her right hand simply gripped my sweater with more force as she buried her face in my chest. Her words were mumbled, and I realized she was embarrassed.

"What?" I laughed, running a hand through the back of her hair.

"Sweet, Virginal Bella."

Eyes wide, "It does not!"

She nodded, her face still hidden from me.

"How..."

She understood what I was asking. "He listened in to a conversation I was having with Rose and Alice. Then suddenly he'd jumped into the room, promising to look after me, so I wouldn't be targeted by shitheads. His words, not mine."

I had to smile. "Sorry he didn't do a very good job, then."

She pulled back a little to look at my face. "I'm not."

I pressed my lips to hers, a silent admission.

We didn't end up going to biology.

OoOoO

"Fuck, I hate sand," Rose moaned, staring down at her shoes. It was her own fault for wearing heels to the beach. Who the hell does that?

Jazz rolled his eyes, his arms around Alice, her back to his front. "Where did all these people come from?" he wondered aloud.

"I think they're the kids from the school on the rez," Bella said, standing on the other side of Rose. She was too far away for my liking.

"Ah, that would make sense," Jazz agreed. "So, drinks?"

We all nodded and I offered to help Jazz as the other mingled.

"How are things going with you and Bella?" he asked once we were out of earshot.

I briefly considered telling him that Bella had told me she loved me, but then decided against it. That was between us and no one else.

"Good," I nodded, leaving it at that.

"Don't want to talk about it, huh?" he guessed, hands full of red plastic cups.

"Not right now," I replied. "Too many people around."

He seemed to accept that. "Well, you know, if you ever to need to talk about anything..."

He left the question hanging. "I know. Thanks, Jazz."

We handed the others their drinks, some cheap beer by the looks of things. We were used to it by then.

I immediately spotted Jacob and his friends around the fire laughing and messing around, and gave Leah a small smile and nod when she caught me staring. She smiled back in greeting, which captured Jacobs's attention. Soon he was giving me icy looks, before his attention shifted to Bella, then eventually back to his friends.

I was glad he'd made no move to come speak to her—especially not today of all days.

Time passed, and the more it did, the more I couldn't stop stealing glances at Bella—most of the time I'd catch her already looking back at me. I knew what she was thinking, because it was the exact same thing I was: alone time.

I was just heading off to get myself another drink, this time something clear that smelled like some sort of disinfectant, when a hand grabbed my arm.

"Hello, Stranger." Tanya gave me one of her flirty smiles as she brought her own drink to her lips. She hadn't been in school today, and I'd been hoping that meant she wouldn't be here tonight either. No such luck.

I inhaled through my nose slowly. "Hey."

"No date?" she questioned, looking around me. I evaded her question and repeated her own back to her. She laughed.

"No, well, not really. I'm keeping my options open." _Of course you were_.

"Ah," was all I said, wanting to just walk away, but knowing she'd probably follow me. It's not like I could fucking run anywhere. There was nowhere to go.

Also, her hand still hadn't left my arm.

I was about to pull it off when she sidled up closer to me, and I realized she was tipsy. Fucking great.

She took another step closer, tripping over her own feet, and I quickly caught her before she ended face first on the floor—I wasn't that much an asshole to let a girl eat sand.

"Careful," I said, grimacing at the wet patch on the knee of my jeans where she'd spilled her drink over me.

"It's these damn shoes," she said, and I noticed she was also in heels. _Girls_.

I hadn't realized I was still holding Tanya when suddenly I met Bella's gaze from where she was standing by Tyler Crowley. Or more like getting _hit on_ by Tyler Crowley. She looked like she wanted to strangle someone, and I wasn't sure if it was either him, or worse—me.

She turned her back to me, and I got my answer. _Me. Definitely me._

"Uh, Tanya, I've got to go," I said, leaving her to stand there by herself as I finally went to get that drink. Thankfully Bella and Tyler were pretty close to the coolers, and as more of their conversation floated to my ears, the more resolved I became to break that _back-the-fuck-away-from-my-girlfriend_ fest up.

"Tyler," I said in an overly friendly voice, slinging an arm around his shoulders to pull him back a little. "What are you doing over here by yourself?"

He looked surprised, or maybe just drunk, but he seemingly shrugged it off and answered in a tone that matched mine. "I'm not alone, I'm talking to Bella," he said, pointing his plastic cup in her direction.

I plastered a look of false shock on my face. "Oh, Bella, I didn't see you there," I lied. I made a drinking motion. "Too much to drink probably," I toldTyler.

Bella was straight out glaring at that point, arms crossed on her chest, single brow raised.

"Tell me about it," Tylerslurred, slinging his arm over _my _shoulder now. He smelled like a damn brewery. "I lost count after the first three." _Lightweight_, I thought.

I somehow managed to spin us around though, and started questioning him about sports, hoping he'd forget about Bella. He did, it worked.

We'd been sitting on one of the sand dunes for no more than twenty seconds when I told him I'd be right back—I was going to get us some more drinks. Again, I lied. But problem solved.

Bella was still standing by the coolers, and still looked just as angry.

"What?" I questioned as she just stood there, pissed.

She shook her head and walked away. I followed.

"How is it that you're pissed at me?" I hissed as I caught up. "You were the one getting hit on by Tyler Crowley, not me." That stopped her.

"Excuse me?" she scoffed, lowering her voice as she leaned forward a little to hiss right back at me. "Didn't I just see Tanya in your arms? Or was I imagining that?" She made her own drinking motion herself this time. "I guess I've had too much to drink too," she said sarcastically.

"You're not funny," I replied.

"I wasn't trying to be."

I gritted my teeth. "She tripped, I couldn't exactly let her fall," I spat.

She gave a bitter laugh. "Why not? She'd deserve it if she did."

"This is ridiculous," I told her, gripping the back of my neck as I stared exasperatedly into the inky sky.

"And so are you for pulling a move like the one you just did."

"He was hitting on you!" I snapped.

"He was drunk. And anyway, I can talk to anyone I want. You don't get to decide for me."

"Well then, so can I," I shot back. "In fact, I'll go find Tanya right now, carry on our conversation."

Her eyes flashed. "Fine."

"Fine."

I let her go this time, and immediately wished I hadn't, because there Jacob was, pulling her into a hug, and there she was, returning it with just as much enthusiasm.

I watched as his eyes darted about her face, the expression on his own one of longing; I imagined I wore the exact same look on my face when I was met with her gaze. I knew it was stupid to feel jealous that she was talking to him... _laughing_. She was with me... she'd chosen _me_, she loved _me_. But rationality always fled to faraway places where Bella was concerned.

Then he kissed her cheek, an action so innocent, that to anyone else, it would have meant nothing. But it didn't. Not to _him_. His feelings were clearly written all over his face. I wanted to wash them off, not have him look at her that way—push him away until his face was no longer visible.

The longer I stood there, fists clenched, waiting for her to say something—show her anger or annoyance at him expressing himself like that—the more I realized that she wasn't going to do any of those things. She'd simply let him kiss her cheek, no consequences. She'd think it was his seemingly friendly nature and their past that led him to do it. But guilt was a powerful emotion that led the best of us to make stupid decisions.

And seconds later, when her eyes drifted past his head to meet my gaze, I let her understand just how much.

Her lips parted, brows drawn together as she took me in, evidently still angry with me.

_Well so am I, more so now._

Her gaze covertly flickered back and forth between us as Jacob simply stood there, none the wiser of the uncertainty that was present in every single crease around her eyes.

Then he took her hand, forcing their fingers to link, and I couldn't watch them anymore, couldn't take seeing her enjoy his company. I had turned into one of those pathetic boyfriends that I used to mock. I didn't care if Bella talked to boys; I just didn't like that particular one. I knew I had no right to tell her who she could and couldn't be friends with, I guess I'd simply hoped he'd keep his distance—pride wounded after she'd let him go.

Not for the first time, I'd been mistaken.

I grabbed a bottle of water from the cooler on my way past, no longer in the mood to drink anything stronger. James was uncapping a beer, his smile thin as he tried to conjure up conversation. I carried on walking.

"Someone looks a little sullen."

I didn't bother to turn around and stop. I was in no mood to chat, especially to him. "Fuck off, James."

No retort followed, and for that, I was glad.

I ended up further down the beach than I expected, the rocks jutting out at odd angles from the cliff face that towered above and behind us, creating little cove-type enclosures. I finally stopped walking, my head leaning back to rest against the hard rock; out of sight if someone were to look this far down the beach.

I was angry, and confused, and hated feeling so tied up in knots. I wanted to pound my fist against stone until my knuckles bled. I wanted to get the fuck out of here.

But more than either of those things, I didn't want to leave without her.

After what must have been about twenty minutes, I let out a resigned sigh, contemplating rejoining the others, when I felt a hand on my arm. My eyes shot open, finding the face of the girl I'd been constantly thinking of.

Too many things hit at once, and I had to look away.

"What are you doing out here?" she asked, seeming more angry than before. Her arms were crossed over her chest, mouth closed into a tight line.

"I wanted a change of scenery," I retorted. "I didn't like the one back there so much."

She sucked in her cheeks. "You're being ridiculous." I glowered. "And childish!" she added.

I laughed bitterly. "Oh, really?"

"Yes."

"Well, leave then. No one told you to come after me." I could see her anger increasing, her expression glacial. She stepped forward until she was close enough to touch; her cheeks flushed a delicate pink.

I had to stop myself from reaching out and placing my palm against her skin.

She shook her head. "That's your answer to everything—run away. Well _some_ people find that a little more difficult than others. _Some _people actually have _feelings_." At this point, she was jabbing a finger over her heart, eyes glistening with unshed tears.

"And more importantly, _some_ people aren't fucking heartless like you and actually give a shit when they can see the person they _love_ is angry or hurt!"

I was stunned, my heart beating like an angry drum inside my chest—a never ending rhythm that continued to thump.

I did the only thing I could do in that moment.

I kissed her with everything I had.

I pulled her to me, closer and closer until I could feel the rise and fall of her chest against mine. And yet it still didn't feel close enough. Her hands were fisted against my shoulders, almost as if in two minds as whether to hit me or not. I could now _feel_ her anger, not just _see_ it.

Her lips finally moved with my lips, all hesitation gone, over and over again, just as desperate, just as greedy. Tongues and warmth and grasping hands forced groans from our throats—_closer, closer_.

Her fingertips dug into the nape of my neck, but not hard enough to hurt. And even if they had, I wouldn't have cared. I'd felt something similar to this before, this _need_, but never as strong as this. I was no longer just taking, but giving, trying to express just how much I felt for this maddening girl.

And at that very moment, I knew. It hit me to the left of the chest. Walls fell down, ruins crumbled at our feet.

I was pretty sure I'd fallen in love... And I was pretty sure I fucking hated it too.

Surge after surge thrashed forward like waves, but I couldn't do anything about them. I tried to bat them away, but they wouldn't budge. The feeling just became worse... more _intense_.

And just as sturdy as the rocks behind us.

I pulled away abruptly, breathless, and I swore the look on her face matched what I was feeling inside at that very second. It was like looking into an internal mirror.

I could tell her... speak the words I knew she wanted to hear despite her objections; part of me even felt this desperation to finally just fucking _say_ _it_. And I thought maybe I would.

But then just as quickly, the moment was gone. Something suddenly felt very wrong. A new expression took over her face, one that made her eyes widen in fear, shock, pain... and guilt. That ugly word rising again.

I turned around slowly and instantly understood. The faces staring back at us expressed a completely different range of emotions to the ones I'd just been feeling, and I had no idea which one I should focus on—which one of these I should react to first.

James—amusement and cruelty, Tanya—smugness and disgust. And Alice... my sister gave me a look filled with a mixture of anger and pity.

Then I came to the last face and saw so much unbridled pain that even I had to look away. He wasn't looking at me though; his direction was, for the moment, solely focused on the girl beside me who still clutched at my arm. And before I could even say his name in my head, Bella had pushed it from her lips in a hoarse and broken whisper.

"_Jake_."

* * *

**Reviews will get a teaser for the next chapter.**

**I have a couple of recs this week. Both are equally as amazing as the other:**

**"Pocket Change" by aWhiteBlankPage. Beautiful words and a great style of writing. Adore it.**

**"There is a Light" by belladonnacullen. This story will have you thinking for days. It's addictive and so, so good.**

**Both stories can be found in my favourites.**

**Also, I gave in and now have a fandom facebook for anyone that's interested. You'll find me under Vampshavelaws fanfiction. There is also a link to my page on my profile.**

**Thank you so much for reading. ****VHL XX**


	35. Chapter 35

**Hey everyone! Thank you so much for continuing to be patient between updates. **

**As always, huge thanks to Susan and Judy for all they do. They are so generous with their time and I love them both. **

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns Twilight and all its characters.**

* * *

Bella

Time had frozen, a twisted game of musical statues, pause button hit as cheerless tunes lingered around and above us, movements suspended and limbs numbed from standing so still. Lashes fluttered on the faces in front of me, the only dared shift as shock still hung in the air and suffocated those of us who mattered. I blinked, rapid and desperate, wishes made, but quickly refused.

No, it was all still here. _He_ was still here.

Pain hit me square in the chest as dark eyes continued to stare back at me; eyes that had expressed mirth not an hour before as we'd both smiled and joked and ignored the unspoken worries that had still lingered - ignored the slight awkwardness of what could have been if I hadn't let go and fallen for someone else.

But those eyes had now been replaced with pain.

He of course hadn't known that there had been someone else... that there_ still_ _was_ someone else; I'd lied to him time and time again.

But now he could see. He knew. Not all of it, obviously, but enough to guess.

This was all so wrong. It wasn't supposed to happen... here... now - _Jacob_ wasn't supposed to find out like this. It was cruel. Just like my actions. Just like the choices I'd made.

Jacob's gaze flickered quick and low, and with startling clarity, I realized I was still gripping onto Edward's arm; a life raft in uncertain waters, keeping me afloat as my fingers dug tightly into cotton.

I wrenched my hands away and took a step back, swallowing against the formed, choking lump in my throat as I pulled my eyes from one boy just to rest on the other.

I was caught on all sides.

Edward... his expression before we'd been discovered, the way he'd looked at me - I'd never seen him like that before. It had lit a fire inside of me I wasn't sure I could stand. I hadn't been able to get close enough - hands desperate, mouth needy, skin flushed in the best of ways, and for a brief moment a very small part of me had been scared. Everything had been too intense, my heart pounding too fast. But as I looked back at his face now, green eyes expressed something I didn't have time to catch. They immediately closed themselves off from me, his head turning to focus forward, gaze narrowed.

He was hiding again, keeping his thoughts to himself, and I was left alone. _Please don't leave me to deal with all this by myself._ _Don't run._

It was only then that I_ really_ took notice of the others standing in front of us, my eyes drifting over and past the people that meant nothing, not lingering long enough for their satisfied, hateful faces to dig their way in deeper to my already out of control emotions. Fear and confusion formed a noose around my neck - _what were they even doing here?_

Then I came to a stop, gaze paused on Alice, and I felt my face crack further. Her features were pinched, angry, but thankfully she wasn't looking at me. I didn't think I could take it if I saw the disappointment in her eyes too. There was no doubt in my mind that she was going to hate me. _She probably already does_, my subconscious whispered, and the ache in my chest increased.

Jacob hadn't been the only one I'd been lying to... _was still _lying to. While their situations were completely different, trust had nevertheless been broken - something that wasn't easy to gain or keep in the first place - and I was sure I'd just shattered whatever had been preset into a thousand pieces.

"No, don't stop on our account."

I startled, muscles twitching, my gaze immediately pulled in the direction of the noise. I knew that voice... suddenly hated it; hated _him_. James.

He had a cruel smile on his face as he leaned against a jut of rock, his hands buried deep in his pockets. "Well isn't _this_ a pleasant surprise."

Tanya forced out a laugh, the sound bitter. "It's disgusting is what it is."

No one else said anything for a few moments, James' non-question still clinging to the strained atmosphere that was still _ever-so_ present. But I knew the silence could only last for so long. The tenseness however, wouldn't be so easy to get rid of.

"Well?" he pressed, his smile growing.

I swallowed thickly, intending to say something. _Anything_. But in the end I was beaten to it. I snapped my mouth shut and turned to the side, fighting the urge to reach and touch him - seek comfort that I didn't deserve.

"They're not exactly the words I would have chosen," Edward replied, his tone composed, his stance nonchalant. I bit the inside of my cheek. _How can he be so calm?_

James continued, undeterred. "Cozy, too. Who knew you two were so close?" He looked over to Jacob as he said this, intending to stir things further.

I followed his gaze... Jake still looked so pained, his whole being screaming shock. He still hadn't said anything, and I didn't know if it was due to the fact Alice was now gripping his arm and murmuring to him, or whether he simply _couldn't_. Either way, I hated seeing him like that. And with the way he tore his eyes from me as I went to take a hesitant step in his direction, he definitely hated what he saw in me now, too.

_I'm so, so sorry_. _I never intended for you to find out like this. I should have been honest. I just didn't want to hurt you..._

I wanted to scream it. Make everyone else disappear until there was just me and him, and I could explain, exactly like I was meant to; exactly like I'd planned. But I guess in the end karma had caught up with me, and now I was paying the price. It was all _too little, too late._

I chanced another peek at Edward, panicked, dreading what was about to happen. To anyone else, he would have looked the same as he had seconds before. But they weren't as familiar with his face as I was. I doubted they would have noticed the slight differences: the tightness in his jaw, the balled up fists at his sides that lingered for no more than a moment before he roughly shoved his fingers into the pockets of his jeans. His calm had dissipated, but he was still keeping a firm lid on his emotions.

"I don't remember ever implying we _were_," Edward responded, his eyes firmly fixed on James.

I dug my fingers into my arms, dread licking its way up my spine as I turned away. My eyes squeezed shut as that voice of doubt reared its ugly head once more. _Why did he still want to lie? Was he merely deflecting, or was it more than that? _I hated that I couldn't think straight.

James shifted his attention to me, his tongue sweeping out to wet his lips. "Ah, but does Bella here know that?"

I could see what he was trying to do; I needed to put a stop to that before things got too far. But again, before I could open my mouth, Edward jumped in.

"It's nothing," he shrugged. "We were just fooling around."

The ache intensified, and at that point I truly thought I hated him.

I could feel the tell-tale sign of tears burning my eyes as I pushed my tongue to the roof of my mouth. They weren't, however, tears of sadness. Sure, I was upset that he'd tried to downplay this; pretend it wasn't anything important... pretend that _I _wasn't important. But more than any of that, I was _angry_. If he was going to be a coward, then _screw _him.

My frustration and hurt and fury started to gain momentum, the need to cause _him_ anguish growing with every second he refused to meet my eye. Because that's what we did; we matched each other.

And he knew I was looking at him - I could tell by the stiff set of his shoulders. He knew what his words would have done to me, yet he didn't care. He was purposely playing another stupid game. Except this time, he'd be playing it on his own, because I didn't think my heart could take much more.

I suddenly wanted to blame him. This was his entire fault anyway. _He'd_ been the one to chase _me_. _He'd_ been the one to push _this_. _He'd_ been the one to _touch_ and _tease_ and _whisper_ until I had given in to my attraction. And now he decided to just drop it? Why couldn't he just be honest and want me without caring about what others thought?

Was I not enough?

I wouldn't answer James; I wouldn't fall into his spiteful little trap. Instead, I asked a question of my own.

"What are you even doing here?" My voice came out hoarse, scratchy, and I quickly cleared my throat to be rid of it.

He cocked his head, assessing. "We thought Jacob here deserved to know the truth," he uttered. "After all, it's a sin to lie."

He was smiling, the image sickening. I looked beside him. "_We_?" Edward wondered.

Tanya straightened up, her tipsiness from before conveniently gone. "I don't like to be played, Edward," she snapped, her blue eyes now completely cold. "Did you think I was stupid?"

A slight pause. "About what?" he responded, scratching the slight stubble on his jaw.

She pressed her pointer finger to her chin as she gazed back at him. "I _saw_ you both together, hugging in the stairwell the night of the dance," she sneered, flicking hair from her face as the wind caught it. "You pined after her like a little puppy the whole evening. It was embarrassing."

My heart was racing, my eyes now glued to Jake as he squeezed his eyes shut.

_Oh God..._

James started to laugh, kicking sand up as he made his way towards us, directing his words at Edward. "You see, I had wondered for a while what was going on," he murmured, more to himself than anyone else. "You'd changed on me, didn't want to play our usual little games, and I thought to myself, what's different... what's the cause?" He swiveled at this point, turning towards me with a pointed finger. "And it was you."

I shook, hate coursing through me. "But you see," he continued, "Eddie boy here doesn't want you. This is what he does, Bella; makes promises he can't keep." He'd leaned forward at this point, his finger ghosting down my cheek. "But if you were mine, I wouldn't be so stupid to deny you in front of others. I wouldn't hide you or be ashamed."

I bit down on the inside of my cheek, hit after hit of disgust and torment washing over me. I went to jerk my head back, but suddenly his touch had gone, his wrist in the steel vice of Edward's hand. "Keep your fucking hands off her," he threatened before flinging the arm away from him.

Previously frozen bodies suddenly burst into movement, an explosion of ice shards filtering through the sky, landing at our feet as Alice jumped forward a step, but then just as quickly stopped. She pulled out her phone instead, the screen highlighting her face.

Unintentionally, I caught Tanya's eyes; her lips morphed into a smirk as she started walking away, pausing to whisper something into Jacob's ear as she passed. His face hardened as he pulled himself away from her, brown eyes locking with mine as his arms tensed.

I couldn't stay away any longer.

Fingers wrapped around my forearm, and startled, I instinctively pulled myself free. _Edward._

"Don't touch me," I warned, feeling my eyes water, watching his jaw clench as I denied him.

He shook his head. "_Don't._"

"No, you're just as bad as he is," I whispered, indicating to James who watched from beside him with a sick sort of pleasure.

I turned around, and panicked, noticed that those brown eyes I had been looking for had now gone. I ran forward, the sand swallowing my movements, making them slower than I wanted as I paused, my heart in my throat as I gazed back at my best friend.

"We can talk later," she said sadly, anxiety crowding her features.

I nodded, swallowing heavily. "I'm so sorry, Alice."

She scrubbed her fingers over her eyes, and I wanted to reach out and hold them. "I know," was her whisper as she pointed further up the beach. "Go find him."

I opened my mouth, intent on apologizing more and more, when she waved her hand out. "_Go_. He'll need you more than I do."

It hurt, but it was what I deserved.

I could hear shouting behind me, and turned just in time to see Edward roar, "You son of a bitch!" before his fist connected with James' face.

Stunned, I stumbled forward, but Alice dragged me back. "You'll only make things worse if you stay," she said, not unkindly.

Not knowing what else I should do, I took off, intent on finding Jacob before anyone got to him first.

I could spot him ahead, still a distance away from most of the other partygoers. Two other people were running down the beach, I recognized them instantly, but didn't have time to worry about that right now.

"Jake," I shouted, heart pounding as I tried to catch up. "Please, _stop_."

His shoulders tensed as he registered my voice, and I could see Rosalie pushing Emmett forward as they both passed by me, a few yards to the side nearer the shore line.

My breath came out in short bursts as Jacob swung around to face me, mouth drawn into a frown.

"Did anyone else know?" he asked, brows lowering as his Adam's apple bobbed in his throat.

I knew what he was asking. I shook my head. "No."

"How long?" he questioned, hands clenching into fists.

I said nothing. Suddenly couldn't.

"How long!" he shouted as tears finally streaked their way down my cheeks.

"About six months," I whispered, watching his face crack.

He took a step away, distressed. "So the whole time...?"

Holding in a sob, I could only nod, my eyes briefly squeezing shut against the look on his face.

All too soon I felt a shift in the sand, and instinctively followed after him as he walked away from me once more.

"Please let me explain," I begged, feeling the eyes of others tracking our movements as he took a shortcut up over the dunes to where the cars were parked.

Unable to leave it like this, I reached out, desperate, and grabbed the sleeve of his shirt, bringing us to a standstill beside a blue Honda.

"What Tanya said back there," he suddenly blurted, "that's where you were when you disappeared that night?" His voice was a whisper, disbelief colouring his tone.

The lump in my throat had gotten bigger as I swallowed against it. "Yeah," I breathed, gripping his shirt sleeve tighter. "I... I'm so, _so_ sorry."

His left arm crossed over his chest, gripping his right bicep. "I know we were only there as friends... but you asked me to go, and we'd only just broken up, so I thought..." he trailed off, his hand moving to scrub his face as he stood hunched in front of me.

"I didn't mean to hurt you," I breathed, swiping at my cheeks.

He shook his head, his eyes suddenly incredibly dark. "Did you sleep with him?"

I let go of his arm, not wanting to hurt him further, and hating that I'd have to. But his expression swiftly changed, distracting us both, as his eyes found focus on something behind me. Or rather, _someone_. I followed his gaze to see Edward approaching, a small cut on the side of his face, and another one over his right eyebrow. I had to squeeze my fingers together to stop myself from reaching out to see if he was okay. I knew it wasn't him I should be worrying about right now, but I couldn't just flip a switch and turn my feelings off for him completely. However, _his_ cuts would heal. Jacob's, on the other hand, would take a little longer.

"I need to talk to you," he murmured, stalking towards me.

I shook my head, still so angry with him. "You shouldn't be here."

He paused in front of me, green eyes ghosting over my face, his cheeks slightly pink from the wind. There was dried blood stuck to his skin, his knuckles, darker around the hair of his eyebrow. Even bruised and bloody he was still the most devastating thing I had ever laid eyes on.

"No, this is exactly where I should be," he argued, making a grab for my hand. But I was quicker.

Jacob pushed his way between us, only backing away again when I had done the same, Edward shaking his head with an angry smile in place.

"What is this?" Jacob asked, his gaze snapping between the two of us: accusing, hurt... _disgusted_.

My first instinct was to say _nothing_... tonight was_ nothing - _a mistake, we'd had too much to drink, stupid, stupid, stupid.

But I couldn't. I'd already told him some of it. No more lies.

Edward shifted beside me, his movement one of agitation. "Nothing that has anything to do with you," he replied, his tone final.

Jacob bristled, nostrils flaring as his mouth formed a hard line. "Like fuck it doesn't!" he snapped, taking a step forward, his eyes hard. "I swear, if you've touched her more than I've witnessed tonight..."

A humourless laugh rang out from beside me. "You'll what?" Edward cut in, his voice tight. "We both know that I have."

I stepped back, my brows pulling together, sickened that he'd say it like that. There was no need to goad Jacob; he hadn't done anything to deserve it. He'd simply stumbled across something that had hurt him.

His fist hit the side of the car. "You're lying, Bella wouldn't be stupid enough to get involved seriously like that with someone like you," he sneered, his control slipping more with every minute he stood there.

His eyes met mine before he continued, his stare dark and desperate - it wasn't my question he was answering, but with the way he was looking at me, there was no doubt who his reply was meant for.

"She has a sense of self-preservation; these past few months were a slip, because everyone knows you use, then discard. Your history speaks for itself."

It was obvious he was trying to drill something through to me, that he truly believed his evaluation. But it was a warning that was already far too late.

And if I thought I'd felt sick before, it was nothing after hearing Jacob voice his thoughts.

I could feel the blood draining from my face, not wanting to go there... not willing to think about that possibility. It was so easy to forget about past incidents when you were all caught up in kisses and soft touches. So easy to ignore the fact that Edward was unlikely to ever fully commit. But he had changed. He had. The way Jake had described him... he wasn't like that anymore. However, that voice in the back of my head that liked to create doubt coupled up with the hope and disbelief that was pushing Jacob forward. It wouldn't shut up, making everything more painful for everyone involved. Especially after the way he'd lied about me in front of James.

A sigh, sharp and heavy cut through my musings, my skin tingling against the slight breeze that whipped across the bare skin of my arms. "You don't know anything," Edward laughed, the sound chipping away at something else inside of me that I didn't want to deal with.

This side of Edward was something I tried to forget about - the side that would rather hurt someone else than deal with his own emotions.

Jacob took a step towards me, stiff and slow. "Bella?"

I couldn't give him what he wanted, what he was asking for. I blinked, the action swift as I broke away from his gaze to stare at the sand beneath my feet, wishing it would push me out to the tide and wash away all this mess I'd created.

"I can't," I croaked, hating that I couldn't make this better for him.

His eyes gassed over. "Do you love him?" he questioned, his gaze keeping me hostage.

My face sticky with tears, I whispered, "I wish I didn't." At least that's how I felt right then.

"Did you love me?" he shot back, waiting, wondering.

I frowned, wounded. "Of course I did."

He scoffed. "No, you don't treat people you love like that. You just _don't._"

I wiped the back of my hand across my nose, his words right, but not entirely true. The world wasn't that simple. "I do love you, Jake..."

He shook his head, not wanting to hear it. "But evidently not enough," he finished for me.

"Please don't hate me." I was selfish, so, so selfish.

He face crumpled as he walked backwards, a cold look in his eyes as he stated, "Too late."

I watched him go, vision blurry as darkness swallowed him. I leaned back against the car, face on my hands as my shoulders shook.

"Bella..." My head snapped up at his voice.

"Don't... stay away from me," I cried, sliding away from him.

He didn't listen, kept coming forward, my sobs increasing as an internal battle fought inside of me; head against heart.

His thumb brushed against my lip, catching the tears that ran. I pushed him away. "I hate you," I breathed, wanting to hurt him.

He said nothing, his thumb dropping to my chin and then off altogether.

He looked off to the left, and before I knew it, Jasper was by my side, pulling me away until I was sitting in the passenger seat of Em's Jeep.

I felt the engine start, and the car move, headlights washing over Edward's form as we pulled away, out of sight.

Conscious of what he'd just witnessed, and the questions he hadn't yet asked, things sort of slotted into place. All those silent looks he'd been giving me. "You knew, didn't you?" I guessed, my voice sounding loud in the quiet.

He peeked sideways at me before focusing back on the road. "Yeah."

I nodded, unsurprised he hadn't needed confirmation of what I was asking him.

We traveled in silence for about twenty minutes before I spoke again.

"I'm so sorry for keeping this from you all," I breathed, staring straight ahead at the taillights of the car in front.

I saw him shake his head from my periphery. "You don't have to explain yourself to me, Bella," he assured, changing gears. "We've all done things we wish we'd have done differently - I know I have."

I took a deep breath, trying to find the words I needed to say. "What started off as something so small, grew until it got to be too much," I admitted softly, shifting in my seat until I was facing him a little better.

"Things like that usually do," he agreed, turning up the heat.

I grasped my hands together on my lap "When it first started... I didn't know what to do. It was all new and fun, and Edward was everywhere. But he was still him, you know? And I didn't know where I stood, so I kept it quiet."

Jasper laughed lowly. "That sounds like him," he sighed. "But he liked you, long before he even fully realized it himself."

At my silence he continued.

"You see, I've known Edward a while now - he and Em are my best friends - and watching the way he was around you... it was obvious that you were just... _more_."

"I was new," I shrugged. "Someone different."

"No, it was more than that," he pressed, dimming his lights as we passed by another car. "He doesn't connect with everyone he meets. Not like Alice who will go out of her way to befriend someone."

I leaned my head back against the seat rest, absorbing his words, and attempted to blink back more tears.

He reached over to briefly grip my hand in his. "Hey, don't put all the blame on yourself, Bella," he murmured. "I have a feeling it was more his decision than yours anyway."

"But with Jacob it wasn't. That was all me."

He sighed, giving me a sad smile. "Hindsight is always twenty-twenty, huh?"

"Yeah," I breathed. "The worst part was that I knew the right thing to do was be completely honest, but how do you tell someone you're supposed to care about that you've been with someone else all that time?"

"I can't answer that," he replied, turning left. "But I do know you can't help who you fall for."

I took a deep breath and looked out the window. "It still doesn't make it right."

"No, I guess not."

We were both quiet again for a few minutes. "Did you know that I began dating Alice after befriending Edward?" he asked, peeking over at me.

I shook my head, surprised. "No, I didn't know that."

He nodded. "Some may have looked at that and thought I should have stayed away. I mean, the best friend's sister isn't exactly ideal."

I could only imagine how they'd react. "How did he take it?" I asked.

He smiled fondly. "We kept it a secret for a while, but in the end we decided to tell everyone. I mean, don't get me wrong, Edward was pissed at first, but he got over it," he told me, his expression meant to comfort.

We finally pulled up outside my house, the engine still running. "Do you think they'll forgive me?" I whispered, my hand already gripping the door handle. "Alice, Rose, Em... do you?"

He brushed my chin with his knuckles, a smile on his face. "We all love you, Bella," he answered, pulling his hand back. "And if Edward makes you happy, then we're happy, regardless of how it came about."

I didn't tell him that he hadn't made me happy tonight, but I think he already knew that.

"Thanks, Jazz," I said, leaning over to kiss his cheek. "And thanks for the lift home."

"Don't mention it," he winked, giving my shoulder a quick squeeze. "I'll see you tomorrow, yeah?"

I managed a sad smile. "Yeah. Maybe."

I got out the car and watched as he turned the Jeep around, beeping the horn once as he headed back for the others.

The house was in darkness as I fished out my keys from my pocket, the metal warm on my palm.

I flipped on the lamp in the hallway, momentarily squinting against the change in light before climbing the stairs to my room, needing the familiarity of my things around me. I felt like I'd lost everyone tonight, and for a very brief moment I wished my mom were here to tell me everything was going to be okay. But I quickly pushed that thought aside; I'd made my bed, so now I had to lie in it.

I cracked open my window, taking a deep lungful of the cool air that immediately assaulted me, and stared up at the moon as it shone its pearl-like glow on everything it touched, wishing I didn't feel quite so alone.

I'd waited so long for someone to come along and make my heart race in the best of ways. But I'd never taken into account the part that inevitably came after - the fact that your heart could actually physically hurt.

I wanted to both rewind time and hit that fast forward button that would show me how everything was going to turn out. I wanted to tell Jacob at that very first doubt I had all those months ago; tell him before James had intervened and hurt him further. And I wanted to see if my tortured heart would get over the pain caused by Edward and his lies and indifference.

But not once, even after everything that had happened, did I want to pause at that moment just before Edward had kissed me back on the night of my birthday that had, in the end, set our story into motion. And I guess that showed just how selfish I really was.

I slipped out of my clothes and opened my closet, standing in my underwear as I rummaged through the pile of t-shirts on the middle shelf. In the end, I picked out one that Edward had left over here, knowing it would fall longer on my legs than one of my own, and that I wouldn't have to find sweatpants as well. Also, I wanted a little piece of him with me even if I didn't actually want to see him, even after the words I'd left him with. I wasn't making much sense to myself as I slipped the cotton over my head, but despite all this mess - the anger, hurt and frustration - I had to keep thinking Edward and I were worth all this fighting, as the alternative was simply unthinkable.

A big part of me wanted to solely blame him for everything, especially every time Jake's face flashed behind my eyes. It made it too easy to remember the way he'd chased after me just to prove something to himself.

I sunk down onto my mattress and wrapped my arms around my legs, on the verge of exhaustion when a muffled curse sounded from my open window. Startled, I looked up to see a familiar head of hair duck under the wooden frame.

_No, please, I can't..._

I drew my legs closer to my chest, my arms tightening around my knees. He paused once inside, staring at me as one might an abstract painting in a gallery, trying to work out the intention behind the mass of swirling colours.

I hadn't expected to see him again tonight after the way we'd just left things, almost positive that he would have kept his distance. But I should have known that Edward would do what he wanted to, regardless of anyone else's feelings. I'd had enough for one evening and didn't think I could handle any more. I was already at breaking point, walking the fine line before I broke down completely. I simply needed some space, time to breathe and think.

I said nothing as I watched him sink down onto the window seat slowly, head bent the entire time, yet eyes clearly on me.

I was still so angry, and seeing him here now, a time when I needed to be alone, it was just bringing all the bitterness and confusion back to the surface.

"I didn't mean it you know," he stated, his legs bouncing, knees moving up and down as he stared at the carpet.

Confused, I asked, "You didn't mean what?"

He looked up at me then, eyes guarded behind thick lashes.

"What I said to James, about what we were doing being nothing - I didn't mean it."

I bit the inside of my lip and shrugged, breaking our gaze. "But you still said it," I voiced, pulling distractedly at a loose thread on the duvet. "You hurt me."

He exhaled loudly, his hands moving to cup the back of his neck. "I know," he murmured.

I tucked my hair behind my ear and let my fingers pause there. "Then why did you do it?" My voice was low, partly scared of his answer.

"Because we didn't owe him shit," he replied, his tone clipped. "It had nothing to do with any of them... and I wasn't about to explain us like that."

_Us_... was there even an 'us' anymore? Was there ever one to begin with? His fear of commitment had always put a damper on everything we did, so after tonight, I wasn't so sure.

"So you thought you'd just hurt me instead, that that was the better option?" I said harshly, tugging on the loose thread between my fingers until it snapped.

"No... yes," he sighed, clearly frustrated. "I'd hoped you'd understand why I was doing it; hoped you wouldn't take my words seriously."

I rested my forehead to my arm, staring down at the bare skin of my thighs. Did I understand? Maybe to an extent, but it still didn't mean I liked it. He'd rather get one over on James than make sure I was okay. If I'd had a choice, I wouldn't have gone down the same route.

"Well I guess I didn't," I answered, turning to rest my cheek against my forearm instead. "In fact, I still don't. You made me look like an idiot. I'd gone looking for you tonight because I loved you, and knew you were upset, and that's how you decided to repay me? I never would have done that to you. Ever," I stressed, meeting his steady gaze. "You're still so fucking selfish."

His eyes narrowed imperceptibly. "You think you've never hurt me?" He laughed, hands gripping his knees. "All those times you flaunted Jacob in my face... you think that didn't get to me?" He shook his head. "I was so fucking jealous all the time," he hissed. "I hated that he could make you smile so much - hated the way he was always touching you, even if it was something as simple as a kiss on the cheek, like earlier." He got to his feet and moved closer until he was gripping the footboard at the bottom of the bed.

"I pretended that it didn't bother me, but it did. Every fucking time. And I wanted to break his face. No more so than tonight when he did it again. Except this time, he had no right to, because you weren't together. It was Valentine's Day, and you let someone else kiss you. So don't act as if you're the only injured party here."

I was stunned, my fists digging into the mattress beneath me. "You can't be serious?" I retorted, a humourless laugh escaping as I tried to get my head around his words. "Are you trying to tell me you never did that with Tanya or any of the other vapid girls that go to our school?"

His jaw clenched and unclenched in rapid succession as his face hardened. "You played with me all the time," I added, watching his Adam's apple bob. "So why wouldn't I be friends with Jake in the beginning? Why wouldn't I want someone who treated me as something more than a game?"

I had gotten to my feet now, and padded across the carpet until I stood in front of him, crossing my arms over my chest in a sign of defiance. "And while we're at it, why shouldn't I have let him kiss me tonight? It was on the cheek, and he's a friend. It was nothing, Edward. _Nothing_."

I meant it rhetorically, but he answered me anyway. "Because you're not his girlfriend anymore, that's why!" he roared, arms out at his side.

"But he's just a friend!" I yelled back.

"That's not an excuse," he replied, matching my stance.

I ran my hands through my hair, wincing at the few tangles. "But I'd told you I loved _you_. If I'd wanted to be with anyone else, we wouldn't even be having this argument right now."

"So you say," he shrugged.

I gritted my teeth, beyond annoyed. "What's that supposed to mean?"

He looked away. "Nothing."

I sucked in my cheeks and followed his gaze to the window. "The point's moot now anyway," I said, tugging at the ends of his t-shirt I wore. "He wants nothing more to do with me."

I looked back at his face, watching his lashes cast shadows on his cheeks in the half-light of the room. "Does that make you happy?" I asked, swallowing down my guilt as Jacob's face flashed behind my eyes for what felt like the hundredth time that night.

A bitter half-smile formed at his mouth, his lips pouting ever so slightly. "Oh so happy," he replied, his tone dripping in sarcasm. "How well you know me."

I bristled and pushed against his chest with both palms as he made to reach for me. "Don't even think about touching me right now. I swear to God..."

He said nothing, but I could see he had clenched his teeth, his jaw tight as my hands slid from him.

"So I'm not allowed to touch you now, is that it?" he questioned, the hateful smile dropping from his face.

I ignored the fact that my body wanted to lean forward and close the distance between us... _fall _until I was wrapped in the warmth of his arms. Instead, I stood cold and alone. "Not right now, no."

"And why's that?" he wondered, hands finding refuge in the pocket of his hoodie. "Is this your way of getting back at me?"

I took a deep breath, eyes wide. "Are you serious?" I shook my head, my thoughts and feelings scattered all over the place like falling snowflakes. "We're not okay right now," I stressed, motioning between us with a finger.

His frown deepened as I continued.

"You pretended I was nothing to you tonight in front of the one person you truly hate," I pointed out. "Do you have any idea how that feels?"

He didn't answer, most likely because he couldn't. He'd probably never been in that situation.

"And not only that," I added, my eyes tracing the line of his brows, "you purposely tried to goad Jacob afterwards when it was completely unnecessary to do so. He wasn't a threat to you, but that still didn't stop you from being cruel."

His neck bent, his head leaning back in his agitation as he looked to the ceiling. "I wasn't cruel; I was honest," he pressed, rubbing the side of his jaw with his fingers.

I shook my head, a tight, perplexed smile tugging at the corners of my mouth. "Oh, so it was okay to tell the truth in front of Jacob because I have a past with him, but not okay with anyone else?" I laughed. "Yeah, that's not being spiteful in the slightest."

His head snapped back up as he studied my face, scrutiny paused as he met my gaze. "Let me get this straight; you're mad at me because I upset you ex-boyfriend?" His tone conveyed his disbelief as his features portrayed his anger. "Because, as we're seemingly being so honest, I could really give a fuck how he felt. He's _nothing _to me."

That got me. "But don't you get it?" I asked, beyond frustrated at this point, my voice rising. "He is to me!"

I could feel my throat closing up again, my emotions threatening to choke. "You should care because it affects_ me_ when you do something like that," I whispered, willing the lump to go away. "And I'd like to think I was important enough to you for you to be able to hold back and just _think_ before acting, otherwise what are we doing? What's the point in any of it?"

I had to take a step back, unable to deal with the height of emotions that were crashing down around us. I wanted nothing more than to crawl into bed and sleep for days; make the world disappear.

He took a deep breath, his words expelled with his exhale. "I thought it was pretty obvious what we were doing," he said, holding my stare.

I felt my stomach drop, so much so I thought I was going to be sick. "Is this all this is to you? Sex?" I choked out.

He pinched the bridge of his nose. "I never said that," he responded with a shake of his head.

"It sounded like that's what you meant," I argued, squeezing my left elbow with my right hand.

His lips parted; a hint of pink. "But I_ didn't_ mean it like that," he snapped, eyes hard.

"Well then how did you mean it, Edward?" I demanded, twisting the ends of my hair around my wrist as it fell over my shoulder. "Because right now I'm thinking the worst."

"I..." he paused, looking conflicted about something. I felt my mouth open, but he carried on. "Just forget it, Bella. I'm done trying to explain myself... to _you_ of all people."

"That's right, run away then. It's what you do best, after all," I sneered.

"And why do you think that is?" he roared, eyes flashing. "It's situations exactly like _this_ _one_ right here that I want to avoid."

I ran a hand through my hair. "Well you should have thought about that months ago when you decided to pursue me," I answered back, fed up with his avoidance.

His next words were a blow to the gut. "Well maybe that was another mistake of mine in my ever-growing, long line of errors."

It was harsh and ugly, and I couldn't stop the next words from leaving my mouth. "I wish I'd never fallen for you," I admitted, putting more distance between us. "Because right now I really, _really_ don't like you."

His face creased, brows drawing together. "Yeah, well, nobody made you."

I wet my lips, my mouth suddenly dry. "No, they didn't," I responded, the ache in my chest intensifying. "I guess that just makes me incredibly stupid then, huh?" I smiled sadly, the action forced.

I didn't want him to see how much his words had hurt me, the need to protect myself overwhelming. I was acting purely on instinct now.

"And this is the exact reason I didn't want to get involved with anyone," he snapped, hands in his hair. "There's always so much fucking drama."

He paused, his fists tightening further around bronze strands, a clear debate going on inside his head. And once again, one that I wasn't privy to. Finally, he muttered, "I don't want or need the hassle."

I flinched, his words a slap in the face. _I was a hassle?_

My hands trembled, my heart pounded. What did he mean by that? "So, what, you want to break-up? You want to stop this?" I asked, pleased that my voice didn't shake along with my warring emotions: I didn't want him to see how much he could potentially hurt me with his answer.

He stared back at me, head slightly bent, expression stoic. _Please don't say yes_. He took a deep breath. "Maybe," he shrugged, seemingly unaffected.

Hurt, deep and dark, burst through me like ink dropped into water. _Maybe_ was in some ways a lot worse than _yes_. It meant he had no strong opinion either way. It meant he didn't care... that he didn't care about _me_. And I should have known. I was so stupid.

"Fine," I answered, swallowing heavily. "Then leave."

He was just staring at me, and I couldn't take it.

I crossed my arms over my chest - a defense mechanism, a comfort - and continued. "If you don't want to do this anymore, then I don't have to look at your face; I don't have to listen to your half-assed apologies, and I certainly don't have to have you in my room."

I paused to take a deep breath, my pulse thrumming as I tried to get a handle on my emotions. "_Get out_."

It hurt to look at him, his green eyes piercing. "Leave!" I screamed, pointing to the door. "Just get the hell away from me."

I bit my bottom lip as it started to wobble, determined not to shed a single tear until he was gone. I didn't want to give him the satisfaction of seeing me cry anymore tonight.

I ran my hands over my face, trying to ignore the way he could make me feel with nothing but a look_. Why wasn't he leaving?_

Unable to bear it any longer, I walked to the window, effectively turning my back on him, to show that I'd had enough. I could see his reflection in the glass, see how he made to walk towards me before changing his mind and walking out.

My eyes squeezed shut as the door slammed behind him, the sound reverberating through the room, shaking the items on my dresser. Perfume bottles rattled, the sound similar to what I imagined my heart would sound like as it broke. What it was sounding like right now.

I finally allowed my tears to fall again, hastily swiping at my cheeks to erase all trace of their appearance as the front door followed suit and closed with a bang out to the night.

The sight of his retreating form tore at my chest, his hood pulled up over his head, blocking his face from me as he made his way home.

Everything had changed in the space of hours, and I quickly pushed myself away from the window, my eyes stinging, my lashes clumped together with drying tears.

I spotted it instantly, his gift to me from hours before, sitting in its vase on the middle of my dresser. I didn't care, I didn't think, I hurled it across the room, watching the glass shine and reflect as it broke into tiny little pieces, a mass of falling tears which brought on another round of my own.

The rose lay on the floor, stem broken, petals missing, everything completely ruined, and all by my own hand - all because of him, because I couldn't stand to see painful reminders and lies in the form of a white blossom.

My back found the wall as I slid the floor, the full extent of what had just happened finally catching up with me, crippling me inside and out.

And_ Happy Valentine's Day_ was a lie.

It was then that I finally fell apart, wishing that exhaustion would win out, and I could forget with the glimmer of sleep, comforted in fluffy white denial.

* * *

**Reviews will get a teaser for the next chapter.**

**This weeks recs are:**

**'substance clad in shadows' by hollelujah. It's smart, different, and incredibly intense. I'm hooked right now.**

**and 'Outbound' by aftrnoondlight. I rec'd this a few weeks ago with my other story, but I want to rec it again here as I'm still loving it just as much. It's written beautifully and makes me smile so big, and cry so hard. It's gorgeous.**

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**tehlemonadestand . blogspot . com**

**Thanks so much for reading.**

**VHL xx**


	36. Chapter 36

**Hey everyone! Thanks for continuing to be so patient between updates. I'm trying my best to get them done as soon as I can. And I'm really sorry for the lack of teasers this time around - I've been so behind in everything this week.**

**A few of you have asked how many more chapters are left - we have about 5 to go, including this one. **

**Thanks so much to Susan and Judy for all their help. I love them.**

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns Twilight and all its characters.**

* * *

Edward

The door slammed shut behind me, loud out into the night, the darkness cloying like a second skin. My pulse raced, angry and surprised as I crossed over from her property to mine, every step now familiar and instinctual. There was something else there, too, lingering like dark mist... something far more powerful – something that I'd have to forget.

I pulled my hood over my head, hiding from the world; hiding from burnished brown eyes I wasn't sure would even be watching. I quickened my pace, determined to distance myself farther, fighting against wanting to go back - fighting against turning around and starting again.

The whole night had been one giant fuck-up after another, each mistake worse than the previous. I'd been so stupid, and had opened my mouth without thinking... maybe driven by _too much _thinking, completely caught up in the situation. I'd ultimately ended up hurting the one person I didn't want to the most. And yet, I knew it would sting. Knew it and still evaded.

Stood there being assessed by - with exception to Alice – people that didn't matter, was not something I had been willing to be subjected to. It had nothing to do with any of them, my sister included. I didn't want that... for either of us.

The expression on Bella's face had said it all: she was lost to her own guilt, and I knew she couldn't handle it, so I spoke up so she didn't have to. Our business was exactly that: _ours_, and there was no way in hell I was going to explain what Bella was to me before I'd even had a chance to tell _her_ first. That wasn't how it should be, so I deflected, hoping she'd get it; hoping she'd understand, just like she had with all my other previous screw-ups.

But she hadn't.

Everyone had a breaking point, and I guessed she'd reached hers.

My pace slowed as the full weight of what had just happened sunk in, my shoes suddenly full of lead. I should have realized that James would pull something like that - he'd fucked with people for as long as I'd known him. He'd wanted Bella from the start, long before I had; long before she'd become more than a stupid game to me. I'd become too complacent... too caught up in soft lips and pale skin - feelings that made me lose my head. It was like being in a constant daydream, one that I wasn't sure I wanted to be shaken from.

He'd slowed down though, causing me to believe that he'd grown bored with getting nowhere in his pursuit. I should have paid more attention... I saw the way he was always watching. I should have realized from that _look_ in his eye alone... that _want_. But I figured that's all he'd do. Watch. I thought if I pretended I wasn't interested from the get-go, showed him that I wasn't going to play our typical game of _who got the girl first_, that he'd eventually let it go. Let the idea of _her _go. But I was wrong. And it was clear to me now just how well he'd seen through my pretences. And that _want_ I saw... it wasn't for _her_. It was to _win_ - win a game I hadn't even known I was playing. My refusal had set the ball rolling. He'd created his own goal to achieve. After that point he'd not wanted Bella for _her_... No. It was to get to _me_, show me he wasn't fooled. Win. Always win, even if that meant Bella getting hurt in the process. And tonight was no different. But... _no_, that had been me, too. I'd fallen into his trap and reacted exactly as he wanted. He foresaw my moves before I actually made any; his constant watching and study of others became all too apparent. It was scary to think he knew what we'd do before we,_ ourselves, _did - pawns to his king in a game of chess. And by the time I comprehended his motives, the damage was already done. It was a case of Catch-22; on the one hand I hadn't wanted to divulge our secrets like that, wanted to tell Bella alone, _first_, do it right. And yet, on the other, in choosing to follow through with that decision and deflect - it had resulted in Bella getting stung. Part of me thought I'd chosen wrongly, while the other half stubbornly declared I was right in the choice I'd made.

It was never a situation I was going to come out of as a winner.

I should have grasped that losing was sometimes okay, that sometimes it was worth it... that it was possible for another_ person_ tobe worth it.

The way Bella had looked at me - eyes full of betrayal and hurt - had crushed me on the inside. I'd tried to dodge her stare, but in the end I hadn't been able to stop myself from looking over, temptation overriding everything else. And what I was met with left a sort of bitterness in my mouth: a sour taste of anger that lingered on the tongue, turning the words that eventually fled from my mouth acerbic.

All too soon she was looking away again, focusing on another, the look in her eyes changing; softness and _sorry_. Jealousy rose like the sun at dawn as she shone like a beacon of regret, remorseful over choosing me, her faith swiftly sinking like sunset until darkness took over.

And I hated it... hated that with just one look from _him_ she could _doubt_. He was deserving of all these things, and I wasn't. But it was my own fault... _he_ hadn't hurt her. And I shouldn't have hated him more for it, but I did, because no one wanted to see that... feel like they were the wrong choice, the worst decision. Even if it was _maybe_ true.

Even if there was no _maybe_ at all.

James must have sensed that shift, as he'd moved almost instantly, advancing like storm-like waves, completely unforgiving in what he was about to destroy... who he was about to pull under.

His hand made contact with her cheek, goading me, and the very thought of him touching her was sickening... too much to bear.

And in the end that was what had caused the snap - the reason for the scrape on my knuckles, the cut on my lip, and dried blood on my face. It was all worth it as my fist made contact with his jaw, his taunting words of moments before lost to splutters:

_How does it feel knowing you've just lost her_?

It made my fists feel better, my own pain distracting as he landed a blow to my mouth, blood flowing, salt and red-anger. But _pumping_ inside my chest felt differently, as he was right: I'd lost her. She walked away... _ran_. Chased what she felt was _better_.

Thick arms had pulled me away in the end, tight vices across my chest as my own arms became trapped by my sides. _Enough_ was the word Emmett had used, so simple and ending. And maybe it had been for right then, but that feeling couldn't last, especially not now.

_Now_ it was nowhere near satisfying. And I wanted to inflict _again_. It had been a long time coming.

He'd walked away, spitting out the poison that ran through his veins, a bloody smirk on his face as he rubbed his jaw.

"Are you calm?" Emmett had asked minutes later. I gave a stiff nod, thankful when his grip on me was released. Small fists came at me then, smacking me in the chest, over and over.

"You're so fucking stupid, Edward!" Alice's head was bowed as she took her frustration out on me, clearly upset. I did nothing as Rose finally grabbed her by the shoulders, pulling her away as Jasper ran around the corner, cheeks pink.

"What the hell's going on?" he asked breathlessly, looking at me for clarification. My eyes must have said it all, because he shook his head sadly, forehead smoothed roughly with his fingers.

"That's what I'd like to know," Em interjected, gaze zeroing in on me. "Rose gets a text, and the next thing I know she's dragging me halfway up the beach where I find none other than _Rocky_ over here in a fist fight with James."

"There's nothing going on," I responded, not meeting anyone's eyes.

"The hell there isn't," Alice laughed, the sound humourless.

I ran a hand through my hair, wincing at the split skin at my knuckles as I pushed past Emmett, the sand sliding beneath my shoes as I took off.

"Where are you going?" Em shouted after me as I scanned the beach, searching for Bella.

I ignored them all.

I'd found her soon enough, tearful and begging, sorry and pleading, as Jacob clocked eyes on my appearance.

The sight of her tear-stained cheeks had pierced me, knowing I was a big cause for them, and I'd wanted to make it better... I'd tried to pull her away to talk. But she was too fast, and my hand was left cold.

Everything continued to go downhill from there, ugly lights painted, as hate was shared and more tears were shed – until all I was left with were colours in my eyes as retreating headlights blinded.

The house was mostly in darkness as I scuffed my way up the outside steps to my room, hands deep in my pockets, fingers gripping the stray lighter residing in the left. I intended to lock myself away for the rest of the night, in no mood for company, especially the type I guessed would be waiting for me. I knew I'd have to deal with things at some point, but after all that had just happened, I simply didn't want to be around anyone.

I pulled my right hand from its confine and wrapped my fingers around the cold metal of the door handle, pressing down with a weary sigh... but it didn't budge. Brow furrowed, I tried again, before realization dawned – someone had locked me out of my own room.

I sighed. _Alice_.

I slammed my fist against the brick by the door, not caring if I did further damage to the already torn skin around my knuckles, way past caring at that point. My feet moved swiftly as I jogged back down the steps, adrenaline pushing me forward; step by furious step. Alice evidently wasn't going to let this go until we'd hashed it out, and while I couldn't blame her for wanting details after witnessing her best friend in tears, it still didn't mean I wasn't pissed. She had no right to go into my room like that, and she knew it. But then I'm pretty sure this was the exact reaction she was trying to get – she was punishing me in her own way by not letting me seek solace when I wanted it... _needed_ it. She didn't know how I was feeling, but she wanted her answers first, and if that meant locking her own brother out of his room, then so be it. She wouldn't care. She'd been like this since we were kids, adamant to get her own way if she felt it was important. And I guessed best friends definitely fell into that category. I knew how this would look to her... to all of them, but they didn't get it. They knew nothing about the situation. Even Jasper didn't; I hadn't told him the half of it. And I knew what I'd be met with as soon as I got into the house... I _knew._ You didn't have to be genius to figure that out: unhappy faces and a shitload of judgement about a situation they couldn't possibly understand. But then, that was the whole point of this charade – they wanted to know, and they were going to make sure I told them, boundaries be damned. It just made me feel all the more justified in wanting to keep secrets from them in the first place.

Light escaped through the bottom of the door that led into the kitchen as I pushed it open, murmured voices filtered through to my ears. I didn't pause, I just walked in, incensed. They were all present; some sat while others stood, as if we were all about to have some pathetic meeting about who was going to call Edward out on his shit first. I didn't fucking think so.

"Who's been in my room?" I asked, making sure to look at each one of them, even though I knew very well who it had been. Rose simply cocked an eyebrow in response, a sharp contrast to the concern on Jasper's face as he looked between me and my sister. That act alone solidified my guess.

"I have," Alice admitted, all nonchalance.

I shook my head. "You had no right," I said harshly, slamming the door behind me. "I don't go into your personal space like that, so have the same fucking courtesy and stay out of mine."

Her eyes narrowed, hands moving to her hips. "I think I had every right," she snapped, pointing a finger back at me. "You don't get to shrug this one off and ignore it." Jasper placed a hand on her arm, no doubt trying to calm her down. She was crossing a line that was about to blow up in this very kitchen if tempers weren't controlled and voices weren't lowered. The last thing I needed was our parents storming down the stairs demanding to know what was going on. There was already enough silent – and some not so silent in Alice's case – judgement going on. I didn't need any more.

"I can do what I want," I retorted. "This has absolutely nothing to do with you... Any of you," I added, motioning to the other three in the room.

Her eyes flashed, darkened. "That's where you're wrong, Edward," she spat, arms now crossed over her chest, a sign of stubbornness. "That wasn't some random girl I saw you with tonight. That was our _friend_. Do you understand that? She's not some vapid girl from school who's more concerned with popularity than anything else. She's a _good _person_._ Of course I'm going to get involved."

I licked my lips, wincing slightly as my tongue slid against the split near the corner of my mouth. "What I don't understand," I started, "is why you're not more surprised about this." I felt my eyes narrow minutely as I thought more about that. Why were they so... calm? I mean, yes, they all seemed angry... but for the total opposite reasons than what I'd thought.

"Don't be so naive, Edward," Alice sighed. "We knew."

My head snapped up as I cut a glare to Jasper. "You told them?" I asked incredulously, a little hurt and a lot pissed. "I thought I could trust you."

"Jasper didn't say anything," Rose cut in, speaking up before her brother had a chance to. "He didn't have to. I mean, I think I'm right in saying we had all guessed something was going on months ago. We just never spoke with each other about it."

I thought about that. "And what exactly do think has been going on?" I asked, because I wanted them to address it first.

Rose crossed her right leg over her left as she assessed me. "You tell us." That bitch was sure to become a therapist some day.

I simply looked back, not saying a word. _Yeah, not going to happen, Rose._

I sighed and rubbed my hands over my face, trying to take everything in._ All that hiding and they'd already known?_

Emmett tapped his knuckles against the table, drawing my attention to him. "I didn't know," he voiced, looking agitated. "If I had, I would have kicked your ass by now. Or at least threatened to."

I laughed, not in humour, but simply because I was beyond pissed at that point.

"Don't push me," he warned, making to get to his feet before taking a deep breath and sitting back again. "After what I've just heard tonight, I don't think you have any reason to be laughing."

"No?"

He shook his head; his tapping paused as he pressed his point home. "_No_. I really can't see anything funny about this situation. _At all._"

I rubbed the side of my jaw, feeling the stubble there rub across my palm. "I can't believe you just threatened me."

"Guys, _stop_," Jasper interjected, nodding to the chair beside him. I shook his offer off – no way was I going to sit around all night and chat about this.

"No, _you_ guys stop," I ground out. "All I want to do is go to bed. I'm tired."

"And we don't want to lose a friend!" Alice continued, her features portraying worry now more than anything else.

I frowned. "What are you talking about?" I questioned, shoving my hands into my pockets. "You won't lose Bella... not if you don't want to."

"Of course we don't!" she cried, allowing herself to be pulled closer to Jasper, his arm wrapping around her shoulder.

I sighed. "Bella's done nothing but worry about keeping..." I paused, swallowing hard as I fought to keep my emotions in check, "what we were doing from you guys. You've got it completely backwards."

"What, you think this won't change things now?" Alice asked.

I shook my head, brows pulled together. "No."

She rubbed the area underneath her eyes. "Then you're stupid."

"I don't get why you think any of that's going to happen," I said. "What's happened between Bella and me isn't going to affect anyone else - you're jumping to conclusions when you haven't got the faintest idea about... any of it."

"I think I have a pretty good idea," Alice interrupted. "You forget, we're twins - I _know_ you."

I looked away, focusing out the window, staring at nothing but the black beyond. I wanted to go lie in it, block out the world. Even the stars.

"I think what Alice is trying to say is: Do you really think B's going to want to be over here all the time now? That she'll be okay walking into a room knowing there's a strong possibility you're going to be in it?" Rose asked, leaning forward in her seat. "Because the way Jasper described finding you both by the cars tonight... You had her in _tears_, Edward. And we can all guess at the reasons why - Alice maybe a little more as she saw more than the rest of us – until we're blue in the face... but surely you must know, and get that?"

I took a deep breath through my nose, fighting the urge to close my eyes. I knew what I'd done. I didn't need to keep being reminded of it.

"We all share a close bond, and when one of us is hurting, it affects the rest of us. Add into the equation that that hurt was caused by another friend... it's not easy."

My hands found their way into my hair, grasping at the strands harshly. "It was something stupid... I thought she'd understand, but she didn't. It was a misunderstanding."

"Bullshit," Alice laughed. "The only misunderstanding right now is you not _getting it_."

"I get it," I shot back, because hearing that... I did. It didn't mean I agreed with them completely – Bella would never abandon her friends because of me – but I could understand to an extent that _up in the air_ feeling of not knowing. It was incredibly frustrating. "But it's a moot point now anyway," I said. "She doesn't want to see me anymore. End of discussion."

I swallowed around the lump in my throat, ignoring the range of expressions fired back at me.

"And you're just giving up?" Alice asked, disappointment clouding her eyes. "You were happier—"

I interrupted her – I couldn't hear that. I didn't want to think about it... not here, with them. _No_. It was only now just sinking in, and I didn't know how to handle it. Didn't want to until I was alone.

"Just out of interest: how long have you all known?" If they saw it as a deflection, no one said anything.

"Alice and I figured it out around Christmastime," Rose answered. "We heard you talking in your room... the day Bella came over with gifts for everyone." I closed my eyes, remembering that day and the present she'd bought me... the way I'd shoved it under the bed upon hearing someone out in the hallway.

"But you were sleeping," I pointed out, looking between them both.

Em got up from the chair and went to the fridge, pulling out stuff for a sandwich. The boy ate in every situation, more so when there was a lot of tension in the house. He'd told us once it hollowed out his stomach.

"I was... but then Jazz woke me by dropping Bella's gift on my stomach," she shrugged, glaring across at her brother as she recounted the moment. "I wanted to say thank you, so Allie and I came looking for you both. And not gonna lie, I nearly busted your balls then and there. But you were sweet with her, and we heard her laugh... so we left you both to it."

I swallowed heavily and asked the most obvious question. "Then why didn't you say anything after?"

"Because that's not what friends do," she explained. "We knew Bella would tell us when she was ready."

"Why didn't you ask _me_, then?" I wondered, curious.

She rolled her eyes, as if it were obvious. "Because we knew you'd do something stupid, or deny it or whatever. And if tonight was anything to go by, I think we were right in thinking that."

What could I say to that? Absolutely nothing - it was the truth. I _would_ have denied it, or played it off as unimportant... exactly as I'd done tonight. I could lie to them and say I wouldn't have, but the truth was I didn't know how I would have reacted if they'd confronted me back then. No, it was easier to keep my mouth shut.

"I'm going to bed," I declared, not waiting for a reply. No one said anything as I walked from the room, relief settling in as I stepped out into the dimly lit hallway.

I'd only gotten a little way up the stairs when Em's voice brought me to a pause. "Is she important to you?" he asked me. "Do you care for her... truthfully?" I turned a little to face him, mostly looking over my shoulder.

I went to answer, but stopped. _I'd tell her first_.

And in the end it didn't matter, because his next words said it all: he knew without me having to say a thing. "Make it right, Edward. Just make it right."

He walked back into the kitchen, to the others, as I finally made my way to my room, intent on locking _that_ door right behind me to match the other - intent on shutting everything and everyone out until I was ready.

OoOoO

I immediately regretted not closing the curtains the night before as sunlight streamed through the double doors on the far side of my room, a groan of frustration leaving my mouth as I knew I'd have to be up soon anyway. I flung my arm over my eyes as sleep started to fade, resigned to the fact I wouldn't be able to ignore the clock like previous mornings.

It had taken me hours to drift off last night. In fact, I'd slept away most of the weekend. I kept to myself, only leaving my room to grab food or, in yesterday's case, hole myself away in the music room.

Playing had taken my mind off things for a little while, the keys and notes distracting and instinctual as I lost myself for those few hours. But reality was back as soon as I stepped out of the room, hearing Alice tell Mom she was heading next door.

I'd talked myself into – then back out of – going over to see Bella all weekend. And after the way things had ended between us Friday night, with her shouting for me to get out of her house, I knew she wouldn't want to see me.

I could have gone and knocked on her door, but I was almost certain she wouldn't answer it. And then I got the crazy idea of climbing her tree as if it was just another day, but that was quickly shot down. She hated when I did it, worried that I'd fall. No doubt she'd encourage it, if I tried it again anytime soon.

I kept replaying those ten minutes in her room... the words that I'd spoken. I hadn't gone over there with the intention of saying them; in fact, it had been the complete opposite. I'd wanted to apologize until she couldn't ignore me - apologize until she actually _believed_ me. Seeing her cry like that had been an awful feeling. And I just kept making it worse. She wouldn't let me touch her despite the fact I was desperate to; she'd even found it difficult to look at me. She'd sat in the middle of her bed wearing one of my t-shirts; all bare legs and soft skin; tired eyes and mussed-up hair. The sight of her brought all those feelings back from the beach... those feelings that I'd been about to blurt out before we'd been interrupted. And they hadn't left since. They'd only gotten stronger, more intense. They said you couldn't love something as much as you could miss it – but no one ever said anything about what it felt like to have the two combined. I'd never felt like this before. _Ever_. I couldn't seem to focus on a simple task for more than a few minutes before my head was filled with the words I should have said instead: _No_. _I'm sorry. Don't cry. I love you. _

I'd spoken out of anger and my own hurt – because she hadn't been the only one that night that was being torn up on the inside. Every time she'd cast her eyes to Jacob and said his name. Every time I had to watch him kiss her... watch her take his hand in hers and smile in the past... it all became this huge ball of emotions that kept getting bigger and bigger; a ball of snow traveling down an icy mountain top, gathering and gathering until it hit the bottom and exploded into ice cold shards that were only ever going to sting.

And at that point I'd even wanted them to. For those brief seconds I'd hoped she was hurting, because then she'd know how I was feeling. It was stupid and selfish, heartless and gutless, and more than anything, I wanted to take it all back. And I nearly had. I'd willed myself to. More so after she reacted the way she did. But then, what did I expect? She'd asked me if I wanted to end things, and I replied _maybe_. Not _yes,_ because looking at her - all that beauty and heart - there was no way I could force that word from my lips. I didn't want it to _end_; I just wanted to take a pause. But she'd taken it that way anyway, and had had enough. And I couldn't blame her.

I'd thought it was another argument, another shouting match that we'd get over after a few days once we'd both cooled down. It all seemed so insignificant. Who cared about Jacob's feelings? He wasn't a part of this relationship. He had no place in it. Or so I'd thought. She'd thought me cruel, and I guess I had been, but so had he. That wasn't mentioned though, wasn't focused on. I'd always be the bad to his good. And so I shrugged it off, sure it was too much hassle... tired of all the comparisons and frustrations.

But I'd been wrong, because I'd never been so tired. I couldn't stop thinking about her. And I'd never been so frustrated... at _me_. At _her_. At _us_. Not that there was an 'us'anymore.

I ran my hands through my hair and finally got out of bed, squinting against the light in the room as I padded over to the shower. Water hot, I stripped down and stood under the spray, attempting to clear my head. I was dreading going to school today, knowing the weekend events would have been dissected and passed from student to student by now. I wasn't worried about myself though. Bella, however, was a different story.

The girls at school were going to be in full-on bitch mode, and I wasn't sure if Bella was going to be able to deal with that. But then I thought of how strong she was beneath that shy exterior, and knew she'd be fine. Or at least I hoped she would. Rose and Alice would be there if she needed their support - I felt a little easier knowing that. She still hadn't been over to the house though, and I was starting to worry that what Alice had said was true; that she'd avoid me at all costs. I was so tempted to ask the girls if she was okay... question Jasper if she'd said anything to him, but I held back, wanting to have that conversation with her. If she'd let me. The jury was still out on that one.

Stepping out of the shower, I dressed in my uniform quickly, having to forgo my usual smoke as I'd run out of cigarettes late last night. I ran my hands through my hair, not caring how it looked and swung the door open to head downstairs.

I could smell the scents of breakfast foods as I neared the kitchen, Emmett's laugh reverberating into the hallway as I paused by the door. It didn't surprise me that he was already up and eating, what did surprise me though was the person with him.

_Bella_.

She had her back to me, so she hadn't seen me yet, and I was almost tempted to turn around and head back upstairs. Seeing her and knowing she wasn't mine - it was a lot harder than I'd anticipated. Her hair was down in loose waves with one those bands in it by the looks of things, and for the first time I'd noticed how much longer it had gotten since we'd met. Jesus, I was turning into a girl noticing that shit.

My gaze lowered, finding those dark blue knee socks and that plaid skirt that seemed shorter than usual...

I was so fucking screwed.

With one last deep breath, I pushed the door open fully, wincing internally as it banged slightly against the wall. The room fell silent as Emmett turned at the noise, instantly giving me a pointed look that said, _don't be a prick._ Bella however did nothing. She didn't even look at me properly - just a quick flick of the eyes before focusing back on the plate of food in front of her.

And if I wasn't sure before, I certainly was then. She wanted absolutely nothing to do with me.

"Hey," I murmured, sitting at the opposite end of the table to where she sat. It didn't escape my notice that she said nothing.

Esme had left a plate of bacon and pancakes out for us to help ourselves, and even though I wasn't particularly hungry, I grabbed a plate and piled it with food, needing something to do other than _stare_.

"Morning," Em managed around a mouthful of food and juice, thankfully sounding cheerful enough.

An awkward silence followed after that, the only sound being that of forks scraping against plates. I reached for the jug of juice, noticing that Bella was no longer eating, but simply pushing her food around her plate instead, and I hated that I was the cause of her discomfort. She'd never given me the silent treatment before... I didn't know how to deal with _this_ Bella. I'd rather she shout at me than say nothing. Being ignored was far worse than being screamed at.

The sound of chair legs squeaking against tile pulled me from my thoughts as Em got up to dump his plate in the sink. Bella immediately tensed up, fork paused on a bit of pancake as she looked up and followed his movements. He went over to the fridge and pulled out the carton of milk, drinking straight from it without a glass. Only then did she ease up.

"You better not put that back in," I warned, taking a sip of juice. "No one wants your spit on their cereal."

He flipped me the finger while he continued to drink and I stabbed down on a piece of bacon, frustrated with the tension in the room. Wiping the back of his hand across his mouth, he raised his brows at me, a silent message sent.

_Yeah, I got it, thanks._

"I'm going to go grace Rose with my presence," he sighed, messing up Bella's hair as he paused by her chair. "She's probably still showering."

"Ew, gross, Em," she laughed, pushing his hand away good naturedly.

"I'll be back," he winked before heading for the door. "Oh, and the midget should be around somewhere. Just give her a shout and follow the smell of overpriced perfume, and you'll find her soon enough," he laughed.

I smirked, shaking my head as I heard the front door close behind him.

It got real quiet again after that, and with no one else in the room that awkwardness just became worse. She got to her feet a few seconds later, standing at the sink as she squirted some soap onto a sponge before washing her and Em's plate.

My jaw clenched as I pushed my own plate away from me, giving up on breakfast. I didn't know what I'd expected, but it wasn't this.

I was almost sure she wouldn't turn up this morning; sure she wouldn't want to be anywhere near me. She'd been so angry, all flushed cheeks and dark eyes, spilling words that had sent me out into the cold - words that I'd deserved.

My fingers gripped the glass in my hand firmly, tight holds formed as I waited... watched, anxious for her gaze. She looked the same – beautiful, if a little tired – and I had to physically curl my other hand around the top of the chair to stop myself from reaching out for her; stop myself from pulling her out of this room to simply lock us away in another.

I brought my drink to my mouth, swallowing cool citrus, eyes fixed on dark lashes as they brushed the area above her eyes - attention anywhere but me - and watched as she turned off the tap and dried her hands much longer than was necessary.

Her arms crossed over her chest, nails digging into cotton as she suddenly turned on her heel, evidently unable to stand being in the same room as me.

My glass slammed to the table as she passed, frustrated, an unconscious action that resulted in breaths held, but it got me what I wanted.

She stilled, head snapping up as she paused beside me, brows crinkled and lips pressed tightly together as she raked her eyes over my face, features unchanging.

She didn't speak, didn't touch me, she simply stared, walls built, keeping me out as my resolve threatened to crumble. I stepped forward as she pulled back, drawing in a deep breath as my lips parted.

"Can we talk?" I asked, watching as her tongue swept against her bottom lip, praying she wouldn't deny me.

But that's exactly what she did.

"No."

I took another step forward. "No?" I asked, gaze flickering between her eyes and mouth.

Her lashes fluttered. "I've got nothing to say to you," she breathed, sidestepping me to leave the room.

"Bella," I called, but she didn't stop, and this time it was me left watching as she walked away.

OoOoO

As soon I cut the engine, I grabbed my cigarettes and jumped out of the car, pulling off the cellophane as I walked, not caring one iota about the looks being given my way. They could stare all they fucking wanted.

Leaning against the tree at the end of the lot, I quickly brought the lighter to the tip, inhaling and watching the cherry burn bright before removing the flame.

I'd left the house almost instantly after Bella denied me, needing to get out of there before I ran into anyone else. A quick stop at the store and then I was here, pulling into this hell hole. I exhaled slowly, watching the smoke furl when I spotted Jessica Stanley heading my way. I had a feeling the day was about to get a whole fucking lot worse.

"Edward," she smiled, coming to a halt in front of me. "Oh, can I have a drag?" she asked, eyeing my cigarette.

"No."

"Okay..."

I sighed, "What do you want, Jess?"

"Is it true?" she wondered.

"Is what true?" I questioned, noticing Em's Jeep pull into the spot next to my own car.

She waved her hand in front of my face, trying to pull back my attention. "That you and Bella Swan are dating."

I took a deep breath. "No, we're not dating." Not any more anyway.

"I knew Tanya was lying," she said, dropping her voice to a whisper. "She's such a jealous person, too. I think it's because she knows _I like you like you_, you know?"

_Shoot me, right now._

My eyes met Bella's across the lot, and I stared right back, my vision turning red when I saw Tyler Crowley sidle up next to her. _Didn't that asshole ever take a hint_? She pulled her gaze from mine and gave him a bright smile, my hands clenching into fists on impulse. It was then I realized she could do that now... flirt and smile and touch others that weren't me. She could date whoever the fuck she wanted to and there wasn't a thing I could do about it.

I dropped my cigarette to the ground and stomped it out before turning my attention back to the girl in front of me, wishing the ground was Tyler's face. "Tanya's a shrew, and you can tell her that from me," I said, watching Jess' eyes go wide. "Excuse me."

I pushed myself from the tree and headed into the school, already ready for the day to be over with already and lessons hadn't even started yet.

I stopped off at my locker before first period and grabbed the books I needed, staring at the dude with the dog collar on the front cover. Realization dawned at who I shared that class with: James and Tanya.

The bell rang just as I walked into the room, noticing the chair next to mine was absent. I knew he was here though, I'd seen his car this morning. I grudgingly took my seat and was about to pull my textbook out of my bag when Tanya strolled in, James following just behind her.

I tensed as he pulled out the chair beside me, knowing there was fuck all I could do about it. I was almost willing him to give me another reason to wipe that smug grin off his face, suspension be damned.

"Good weekend, Edward?" he chuckled as he sat, sighing as his arms hit the desk.

"No better than yours," I answered, nodding to Tanya as she turned to smirk back at her new comrade. "I didn't realize you'd gone back to slumming it."

He grinned, eyes narrowing. "A onetime thing," he said, not defending her in the slightest. "I'm more into _brunettes_ these days."

"You stay the fuck away from her," I warned, my response instant as I felt my temper rise. I knew he was goading me, but I couldn't help it.

He had his own cut on his lip, the area beneath his left eye was bruised, and if he carried on he'd have a right one to match.

"I can't promise anything," he said, a fake resignation to his voice. "You see, I heard she's back on the market, so to speak."

I shook my head. "You haven't got a chance with her," I voiced confidently.

He smirked, eyes cold. "But then, neither do you," he whispered before the teacher walked in and ended all conversations in the room.

I felt my hands clench under the table as I turned to face the front, hating that I had to sit and listen to his words.

But most of all I hated that he was right.

OoOoO

I spent lunch outside on the benches with Ben, sick of the endless questions I'd been getting all day from Lauren and Jess in particular, and there was no way in hell I was about to submit myself to a whole lunch hour with them.

"So I got a call from Angie last night," Ben started, and I knew what was coming before he'd even said anything.

"Let me guess; it had something to do with me," I said, taking a bite of my sandwich.

He pulled the crusts off his. "That obvious, huh?"

"Something like that," I murmured, chewing. "And what did Angela have to say?"

"This and that," he shrugged. "It mostly consisted of what a jackass you are," he smiled, throwing his bits of discarded bread on the grass.

I laughed for the first time all day, and finished the rest of my food. "Sounds about right."

He looked up, focusing on a spot behind me. "Nah. She was upset because Bella was upset... I'm pretty sure it's a girl thing," he shrugged. "She felt bad for saying it afterwards... Another girl thing I think."

I took a swig of my Coke and came to the conclusion that this was the most Ben had talked at one time in, well... ever. I guessed girls really did change you.

"I fucked up," I admitted, feeling for some reason that I could talk about it a little with Ben.

"Yeah?" he asked.

I pulled my hand through my hair and frowned. "Yeah."

He pulled his lips against his teeth as he thought about it. "And?"

I sighed, crushing my now empty can of Coke with my fingers. "And now she doesn't want anything to do with me."

"Ah."

I nodded, instinctively staring at the cafeteria doors.

"Just give her some time," he suggested. "I don't know what was going on between you two, but if it was serious..." He took the last bite of his sandwich and dusted his hands off on his shirt before continuing. "If you still care, there's a strong chance she still does, too."

Neither of us said anything more as we left for our separate classes, but deep down I really hoped he was right. But giving her time... that was going to be harder to carry through, especially when I walked into biology to find Mike Newton making her laugh. He looked a bit confused about something, but smiled nonetheless. Dick.

"Something I can help you with, Newton?" I snapped, slamming my bag on the desk.

He didn't budge; he simply flashed another grin at the girl beside me. "I was just telling Bella here, about my weekend in Seattle."

"Did you fall on your face... embarrass or hurt yourself at all?" I asked.

His brows pulled together, his look bewildered. "Uh, no."

"Then I really don't want to hear about it," I pressed, giving him a pointed stare.

I could see Bella's hands formed into tight little fists on the desk, a pencil gripped firmly in the right.

Mr. Banner walked in before I had a chance to say anything, frustration making my jaw clench. I'd tried to talk to her in gym before lunch, but she'd shrugged me off and teamed up with Alice and Rose, leaving me to partner with Jasper and Emmett.

I'd instantly missed her banter and playfulness in that class, feeling it right at the pit of my stomach when I watched her smile and laugh without me. In fact, I'd missed her all weekend. We'd been spending so much time together - it was hard to suddenly have that taken away. Nights had by far been the worst, especially after having gotten used to sharing a bed with someone. Sleeping alone felt entirely alien to me now, sleep almost impossible to come by. She'd infiltrated herself into my entire life to a point where it now felt wrong when she wasn't with me.

Unable to bear it any longer, and simply wanting to let her know a little of what I was feeling, I ripped a page out my notebook and wrote no more than a few simple words. She wouldn't talk to me, wouldn't listen, but I was hoping she'd at least _see_.

As soon as Mr. Banner turned his back to the class to write on the overhead board, I pressed my fingers against the words jotted in black ink and slid the paper across the desk, her body stiffening as the note came into contact with the side of her wrist.

Her tongue swept against her lips as she blinked slowly, and I could tell how hard she was trying not to look. With a deep breath she flattened her palm over it before crumpling it into a ball, the paper rustling and crushing that little bit of hope I was clinging on to.

I ground my teeth together as my knee bounced under the desk, eyes fixed on the clock from that point on. But that still didn't mean I couldn't sense her next to me; didn't mean that I didn't want to reach over and take her hand in mine or press my mouth to her skin. I was going crazy not being able to touch her.

Bella slid out her seat a few seconds after the bell sounded, leaving that ball of paper on the desk, a little more to the middle than it had been before.

I pulled it flat slowly, reading my own words first.

_I fucking miss you_.

And underneath it:

_Asshole._

I smirked.

It was a start.

* * *

**Reviews will get a teaser for the next chapter.**

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**Thanks so much for reading.**

**VHL xx**


	37. Chapter 37

**Hey everyone! Thanks so much for your continued support as this story starts to wind down. There is roughly four chapters left, including this one, so all those loose ends will start tidying themselves up really soon.**

**As ever, a huge thank you to my beta Susan for being so wonderful. And also big thanks to Judy for pre-reading. I love them both.**

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns Twilight and all its characters. I'm just playing around with them.**

* * *

Bella

Time dwindled; the hands of the clock seemed stuck, but that familiar_ tick_ still echoed through the room, proving otherwise. Finally, light began to filter through the small gap between the curtains. I watched as it gradually moved across the carpet, all the while waiting for the minutes to pass so I could get up and start my day without it still being at a half-light outside. I wanted to act and feel normal, get out of bed as normal.

The sliver of light eventually paused in its progression, unexpected sunshine highlighting the school books that lay haphazardly on the floor from where I'd uncaringly kicked them off the bed last night. The sight instantly brought about a flurry of images I wanted to forget, but couldn't; torn paper with words that bled as I tiredly rubbed at my eyes.

Sleep had been hard to find since Friday, and in a nutshell, I was exhausted. I couldn't switch my brain off long enough to settle down, thoughts of the weekend impossible to get away from.

Yesterday was the hardest though, by far, and my chest hurt just from thinking about it again now.

I hadn't thought seeing Edward would be that painful. I'd had all weekend to mentally prepare myself for it, knowing it was inevitable – knowing I wouldn't _not_ see him around – but I soon realized that nothing could brace me for the real thing. No amount of tears or whispered promises to myself could halt those feelings that came crashing down upon me in the harshest of ways, while looking at him and knowing he was no longer mine.

I'd felt him as soon as he walked into the kitchen yesterday morning. Em's silence confirmed the cause for my suddenly-rapid pulse as I squeezed my hands together tightly, my muscles tense as I kept my back to him. I was determined to ignore him, and I had, for the most part. But as soon as we'd been left alone, it became unbearable and I had to escape. I couldn't stand to be in the same room as him with no words between us, couldn't stand the distance and awkwardness that lingered in the room. It _hurt_, and I hated him and loved him, and wanted him to stop looking at me because he was making everything so much harder than it ought to have been.

I was supposed to be over it. I was supposed to be immune to his bullshit. I was supposed to be stronger than that.

But, ultimately, I'd lied to myself all weekend in order to hide a hurt that was going to take a while to heal. Because the truth was, I wasn't over anything. And I knew no amount of words would change that anytime soon.

I'd been so confused at his reaction when I'd tried to leave the room. His glass had slammed to the table as I passed, which had caused me to pause and finally meet his gaze.

And the expression on his face... He was angrier than he had any right to be, especially after the way he'd treated me Friday night. What did he think was going to happen? He'd told me _maybe_, and he hadn't tried to contact me once over the days that followed. He had ample opportunity, I knew he'd been home all weekend. I'd asked. We'd finished things. _He'd _finished things. And in the end, I guessed I had, too. I was so tired of getting my heart broken. I was so tired of being the one that always gave in and forgave. I simply wanted there to be nothing to apologize for in the first place.

It was unfair; _he'd_ been unfair, asking me if we could talk, and standing so close while staring at my mouth, igniting things inside of me that I couldn't let flare. I'd felt trapped and shaky, and hated the hold he had over me – hated myself for wanting to lean that little bit forward and press my cheek to his and cry.

But I hadn't done any of those things. I somehow managed to walk away, deny him. He'd already said enough three days prior.

It had been so much harder than I'd anticipated though; so much harder than I'd ever thought possible to see him and act like I didn't care, act like my heart wasn't being torn in two just from the sight of him alone.

I'd spent a good portion of the weekend alternating between crying into my pillow and hating myself for doing so. But I was hurting, and I had to let it out somehow. I was just proud I hadn't reached for the ice cream like every typical script out there depicted when someone got dumped by their boyfriend. Frozen dairy products did not mend a broken heart, I didn't care who was trying to push it. Ben and Jerry could go fuck themselves.

The hardest part of all, though, was him telling me he missed me. Sitting beside him in that small classroom while he slid that piece of paper across the desk, trying so hard not to look at what he'd written, and in the end failing... Those few words sent jolts straight to my heart, shaking me inside and out. I'd not anticipated them, especially after the way things had ended between us. I was sure he'd pretend he didn't care, and sometimes I wondered if he ever fully had. But those words he'd jotted down contradicted that, completely beguiled me, and I was lost and trapped, and so confused. He'd always had that effect on me though, so that was nothing new. I'd never truly known where I stood with Edward. And I still didn't then. Yes, he'd told me he cared about me in the past, but something had been stopping him from going that step further, and maybe it was because he just never felt it, which I think hurt just as much in the end. Nevertheless, with just four words, he'd caused hope to rise and float, threatening to buoy me up with things that were nowhere near enough to make everything right again.

But at least, for a time, I hadn't been sinking.

I finally pushed myself from the bed and dressed quickly for school, pulling my hair into a messy ponytail on the top of my head as I headed to the bathroom to brush my teeth. I stared at my reflection in the mirror, frowning at the dark circles under my eyes.

This all felt so dramatic. I used to laugh at those girls on the TV that would cry and act like their life was over, but it did kind of feel that way. Love was a funny thing. When it was good, it was the best feeling imaginable. And when it was bad, you wanted to stab it in the eye with a fork.

My eyes fell upon the box of tissues that was empty thanks to a strong few hours of crying on Saturday**. **I hadn't been alone though. Alice had been with me for that. And a few others, too.

And needless to say, our chat had gone differently than I'd expected.

...

I was just about to head back upstairs when someone knocked on the back door, causing me to jump and lose hold of the bottle of water between my palms. It dropped on the tile floor with a thump, the plastic thankfully holding out. I froze at the noise, muscles instantly locking down as my heart sped up in both anticipation and fear, a heady combination that caused that uneasy feeling in my stomach that always made me feel like I was going to be sick. No one used the back door but Jake and Edward, and I knew it wouldn't be either of them. It couldn't be – they weren't a part of my life anymore, last night had seen to that. But that still didn't stop my body from responding the way it did as the briefest flicker of hope bloomed inside my chest.

With shaky legs and a racing pulse, I took a deep breath and pushed myself forward, berating myself for being so stupid. The knock came again just as I gripped the handle and I pulled the door open without any further hesitation, meeting the dark blue eyes of my best friend. At least, I hoped she still was, because I really needed her right then. It was selfish... _I _was selfish in so many ways. And I knew I had a lot of apologizing to do, and didn't deserve an easy ride, but I wanted her forgiveness just the same.

"Alice," I breathed, shifting one foot and then the other, nervous as I pondered her reason for being here. Well, no, that was a lie. I knew why she was here, we had a lot to talk about, but I was surprised to see her knocking at the back door like that. She'd always just let herself into the house from the front, forgoing waiting for either me or Charlie to answer the door. This was different, and I didn't like it. It suggested things had changed between us in the space of a few hours. And with a heavy heart, I realized maybe they had.

"Hey," she greeted, rubbing at her arms. "Can I come in?"

I frowned, but instantly stepped aside as I spoke. "You know you're always welcome. You don't ever have to ask," I told her, chewing on my lip as I stood there awkwardly.

I closed the door behind us, and took a deep breath as I thought about how to start things. I should have known Alice would beat me to it though - patience was generally not one of her strong points.

"I'm sorry," she said, causing my gaze to snap up to her face. "For last night," she added, as if it were obvious.

I shook my head. "What? Alice, no, you haven't done-"

"No," she interrupted, holding up a hand to halt my insistence. "The way I spoke to you... I was kind of a bitch, and that wasn't fair of me."

I felt my brows pull together as I considered her words. "You weren't a bitch, Alice," I disagreed. "I'd been lying to you. You had every right to be upset."

"Maybe," she shrugged, "but that still doesn't make it right."

She made her way over to the table and pulled out the nearest chair before dropping into it. We were both quiet for a while before she began to speak.

"I wasn't upset with you, you know," she informed me, staring at a particular knot in the wood.

Instincts kicked in, and my mouth opened before I'd really thought about what I wanted to say.

"It wasn't just Edward," I blurted, immediately coming to his defence. I took a deep breath, shocked at how easily I felt the need to back him up. "It was me, too."

She smoothed her fingers over the coaster left out from Charlie's cup of coffee this morning as she watched me, a small crease between her brows. "That's not what I meant," she responded after a few seconds, confusing me further.

Nothing was going as I'd thought it would. _I_ was the one meant to be apologizing here;_ I_ was the one who shouldn't be making any sense, not _Alice_.

"I don't understand," I admitted, finally taking a seat at the table. "Who were you angry at then?"

"No one, really," she answered, leaning forward in her chair. "Well, at least not because of the reasons I'm sure you're thinking of," she added as an afterthought.

I tried to think about what Alice could mean, but was coming up blank. "You've completely lost me," I said.

She bit her lip, evidently hesitant over her next words. "I already knew," she responded, her face almost portraying guilt. My brows furrowed as her hands started to fidget on the table. "About you and Edward, I mean," she quickly added. "I _knew_."

My words died on my tongue as her gaze met mine; confused and relieved and guilty for my own reasons.

"What?" I choked out, my mouth dry. "How? Why didn't you say anything before now?"

My head was a jumble of thoughts, dizzying lights and flashes with intermittent script.

She shook her head, eyeing me warily. "It was pretty obvious, B," she said, blue eyes serious. I startled at that, genuinely shocked. I'd thought we'd been so careful.

"It was?" I asked lowly. I drew my bottom lip into my mouth, a bad habit that became prominent whenever I felt nervous. I really shouldn't have been wholly surprised that Alice knew though; she was far more perceptive that the average person and my mom had always told me my face was an open book for anyone that chose to look hard enough.

She nodded, a small and sad smile forming at her mouth. "Yeah," she answered. "At least it became so around Christmastime."

I closed my eyes on a long exhale, suddenly extremely tired. God, she'd had an inkling this whole time... which meant that all those months of hiding had been completely pointless. This entire messy situation could have been avoided if we'd just been honest from the start. I wouldn't be sitting here wondering if my best friend was still just that – and I wouldn't have that horrible anxiety that clouded my chest whenever Edward's name popped into my head.

Alice had said she wasn't angry with me, and I believed her, for the most part. But she had been terse that night, understandably so. Friends didn't keep secrets from friends, especially when they involved another family member.

But if she'd had a problem with it, surely she would have voiced her opinions by now? She wasn't one to usually hold back, I knew this; so what had Edward been so scared about? Was it all just lies to get me to accept his reasoning, mess me around, knowing he never wanted anything that serious with me? I didn't think that was true, but I couldn't think straight.

"So you all knew?" I wondered, twisting the sleeves of my cardigan. I wasn't including Jazz in that, as he'd evidently known quite some time, unbeknownst to me until yesterday. It looked like Edward had been keeping just as many secrets from me, too.

"Rose and I sort of figured it out together," she admitted, pursing her lips. "Em didn't find out until last night though."

I winced, knowing that must have been shitty to realize everyone had sensed something apart from him. "Is he mad?"

"Um, not at you," was all she said, eyes drifting to the window behind my head. I didn't ask anything more – didn't ask her to clarify. I didn't have to, the expression on her face said it all.

"I thought you'd all hate me," I whispered, swallowing against the sudden lump in my throat.

"Bella, _no_... No one hates you," she pressed, ducking her head to catch my gaze. "That's one of the main reasons I'm here right now. Edward mentioned something about you feeling like... _this,_ last night, and I had to come tell you that no one thinks anything of the kind."

I tugged at my sleeves. "Really?"

"Really," she repeated. "Nothing has to change between us if you don't want it to." That worried look came back over her face again, and I wanted to wipe it all away.

"I'm so sorry I kept things from you, Allie."

Her lips upturned into a soft smile, one that spoke of hurt, and I hated seeing it. "It's okay," she assured. "We're okay. I mean, I was a little hurt that you felt you couldn't trust me, but I knew you'd tell me when you were ready."

"It was never about not trusting you, Alice."

She sighed. "I know... deep down. It's just hard to convince yourself of certain things sometimes."

I knew about that all too well.

"Yeah," I agreed, my words exhaled on a sigh.

"I'm really so very sorry," I whispered, feeling my throat threaten to close up again.

She reached across the table and took my hands in hers, squeezing them tightly.

"I know... and so does everyone else," she assured. "We love you," she smiled, her eyes glistening. "You're my best friend, and I'd be a pretty bad one if I let something like this get in the way of that."

I matched her smile and she laughed as she wiped at her eyes.

She rounded the table and moved her chair closer, wiping the tears from my cheeks.

She studied my face silently for a short while, eyes soft. "He loves you, you know," she nodded, taking my hand again.

My heart quickened at her words, and I tried to ignore it. This had to stop.

"I don't know everything," she continued, ignorant to the turmoil inside of me, "and I know he fucked up, but believe me when I tell you, I've never seen him like this with a girl before. Ever. He cares, even if he doesn't show it."

Her words were piercing my heart, letting all the hurt and_ Edward_ back in again. Not that he'd ever really left in the first place.

I looked to my lap, and picked at the fuzzy bits of material on my cardigan. "He's never told me though, Alice," I breathed, swallowing heavily. "Not once."

She sighed and mumbled something under breath, the words "stupid" and "idiot" standing out amongst the others.

"He may not have admitted it out loud yet, but he feels it right here," she said, placing her hand over her heart. "And that's the most important part."

I looked away, refocusing back on my fingers.

"I know my brother, Bella," she said. "Just give him time."

I bit the inside of my cheek, the thoughts floating through my head making me restless. "I'm not sure I want to though, Alice," I said heavily, hating how the words sounded on my tongue. "He really hurt me," I added. "And not for the first time."

She squeezed my hand as I held back my tears. "God," I laughed humourlessly, clucking my tongue. "I'm such a mess right now. I shouldn't be crying like this in front of you; I should be non-stop apologizing, not have you mother me."

"Shush," she admonished, sounding so motherly that this time when I chuckled it was true. She pulled me into a hug, and I wrapped my arms around her as silent tears streaked their way down my cheeks in hot trails. I didn't think I'd ever felt so much like a girl until that moment, crying over a boy like I was.

"Thank you, Allie," I whispered, so very grateful for this girl.

She jostled me about, causing me to giggle, and I promised myself there and then that I would keep nothing from her again.

"Bella?" she voiced after a few minutes had passed.

"Yeah?"

"Um, I don't want to spoil this moment or anything, but do you think we could get you some tissues soon? You're kind of slobbering on my shirt."

I laughed out loud at that, and pulled back with an apologetic smile, watching as she looked down at the wet patch on her shirt with a scrunched up nose.

She ran up the stairs after I mentioned there was a box of Kleenex in my room somewhere, returning a minute or so later.

"Is he home?" I murmured, pulling a tissue from the box. I didn't clarify who I was asking after, she'd know.

Dread and anticipation built as I waited for her answer, a stone fist around my heart.

Her mouth twisted to the side, hands on her knees as she looked back at me. "I haven't seen him this morning," she started, pausing for a moment. "But yeah, he's home."

I nodded, instantly relieved he wasn't with anyone else. The thought of him so easily _over_ _it,_ was unbearable.

She placed the box on the table. "How did it start?" she asked as she pushed a handful of tissues into my hand.

"I don't know," I shrugged. "I mean, it was nothing to begin with, just a stupid game between the two of us. I had Jake and he had his little _whatevers'_. But then it became more, and my feelings grew and grew," I explained.

"You love him." It wasn't a question.

I nodded. No words were necessary.

"And Jacob?" she asked.

I held back a wince. "Wants nothing to do with me," I replied. I'd royally fucked up my friendship there. But I was determined to make it right, if he'd let me. I didn't want to think about the prospect that that may never actually happen though.

"Do you want to come over to mine, watch some sappy movies with me and Rose?" I could see what Alice was doing, and I loved her for it. But it was too soon. And I simply couldn't be around him.

"Do you think we could maybe do that here, instead?"

She pressed her lips together and sighed, a nod of agreement sent my way. "Let me text Rose real quick."

I smiled gratefully and pressed a kiss to her cheek before picking up the forgotten bottle of water that still lay on its side from almost an hour before. I was just getting another from the fridge when the front door opened, when not one, but three people came bursting into the hallway.

"Where are the snacks at?" Em winked upon coming into the kitchen, ruffling my hair and opening the first cupboard he came to. "I know you've got some in here somewhere, B. You're like a squirrel storing nuts for the winter, and I can't watch this shit without having food either doused in fat or sugar. Preferably both."

I pointed to the cupboard beside the one he was already rustling inside, stunned.

"You weren't even invited," Alice scowled, rolling her eyes.

Rose dumped her bag onto the table, nudging my shoulder with hers. "I couldn't keep either of them away," she grumbled, gathering my hair into a tie she pulled from her bag, straightening out my mess of curls.

"Mom hasn't gone shopping yet, so there's nothing good left in the house," Em responded, pulling out a tub of cashew nuts. "See, what did I tell you? Nuts!"

Jazz pushed him out of the way with a snort. "And what do you mean you can't watch a chick flick without food? You're talking out of your ass," he laughed. "Don't even try and deny your love for _The Notebook_."

Em widened his eyes comically, looking the picture of innocence. "What?" he shrugged. "It reminds me of the first time Rose and I did it, because she wouldn't stop talking or asking questions—"

Rose swiftly clamped a hand over his mouth, cheeks heating in embarrassment or anger – probably a mixture of both.

The room got quiet.

"Dude," Jasper groaned, quickly breaking it. "I so don't want to hear that crap."

A smile found its way to my face as I watched my friends bicker and laugh like always.

They were acting normal for me, the very best friends anyone could hope for.

And yet as we all settled in front of the TV in the lounge, I still couldn't ignore the fact that someone was missing.

OoOoO

Lessons dragged, my head constantly filled with anything but school. I'd tried phoning Jacob this morning, knowing he'd be awake. He had school, too, after all. No one had answered the first time, and on my second try it had gone straight to voicemail. I thought about leaving a message, but in the end decided against it. I didn't want to leave a rambling apology that he may or may not listen to. I wanted to speak to_ him_, not an automated service.

This wasn't the first time I'd tried ringing him. I'd phoned the house phone late Sunday evening, hoping to catch him out. Billy had answered though and seemed to know something wasn't right between his son and me, but he didn't outright say anything; he just informed me that Jacob wasn't home and told me to have a good night. I'd wondered if he was lying for a moment before realizing that Billy wouldn't get involved like that. He'd leave us to our own devices when it came to fallings out. He always had, ever since we were kids. This was so much more than petty kid differences though.

We'd fight over the stupidest things, like who got to ride on his dirt bike first, or who could have the last can of orange soda out of the fridge. I usually won with the dirt bike, and he with the drink. He'd always be the first to say he was sorry, but this time I knew it was all me. There was no reason for first apologies from him. They were all mine.

The bell rang, breaking me from my reverie, signalling time for gym, a class that I'd been dreading, mostly due to the fact it was filled with the main three people I wanted to avoid like the plague: James, Tanya, and lastly, Edward. All were for different reasons of course, but each one had affected me somehow in their own way during the past few days, and if I could choose not to see them, I'd literally jump at the chance.

I hadn't spoken to Edward again this morning. He'd been eating breakfast in the kitchen when I'd arrived at the Cullen's, and I'd bypassed him and gone straight to Alice's bedroom, where I proceeded to stay until we had to leave for school. She'd asked me if I was okay, something she only did when we were alone, and I asked the same question, holding back a flurry of others I had about the heart-racing-on-sight boy downstairs.

It was getting harder though, not speaking to him. I knew it wouldn't last, that it would be next to impossible. It still didn't mean I didn't want to try though. My stubbornness was my biggest downfall.

Alice caught up with me in the corridor, coming from whatever class she'd just had.

"Ready to kick some butt?" she asked, waving at a bunch of freshmen that were staring at us as we passed. I'd been quite the talking point yesterday, and had thankfully managed to get through the day without having to hide in one of the toilet stalls in the bathroom just to get away from the stares. It didn't seem as though the attention had died down quite yet, but I could deal with it. At least I was ninety-nine point nine percent sure I could, which was as good as it was going to get.

"Aren't I always?" I joked, sighing as Alice pushed open the door to the locker room.

Rose was already half-dressed into her stuff when I started to slip on my own shorts.

"It smells like cheap perfume in here," Alice whined, scrunching up her face as she slipped off her shirt. "I bet I know who it's coming from, too," she smirked, eyeing Jessica Stanley as she applied lip gloss while staring into her hand-held mirror.

Who actually put on lip gloss to play volleyball or whatever the hell Coach Clapp had in store for us today? But then I remembered her thing for Edward, and those doubts all sort of fell into place.

I was terrified he'd move on quickly, despite having told me he missed me. You could miss someone and still do stupid things, or maybe not so stupid things; either way it didn't always matter about the person who _had_ been around, but who was around _now_. And I definitely fit into the first category.

I knew he wouldn't get with Jessica or Tanya, but there were others in the school that had done nothing but dote on him since he'd moved here. And then there was college in a few months, where there would be new girls and new experiences. Each thought along those lines crushed me a little more inside.

I closed my locker door with a deep breath and followed the others into the gym.

I spotted Edward instantly, all chaotic hair and crooked smiles, chatting with Jazz and Em, his eyes darting back and forth to the door. I realized we were making our way towards them, and wanted to hang back. But that was childish. And I'd been enough of that lately.

My eyes met Tanya's across the room, her smile overly sweet. My fingers clenched into fists – I hated her. I smiled back though, showing her she didn't intimidate me. She may not have been the instigator on Friday, but she'd still been a part of it. And I seriously didn't know what made a person want to purposely do something like that. I decided she must have been incredibly unhappy herself, because happy people just didn't do that stuff.

James strolled up next to her, and my eyes instantly formed into slits at the sight of him. He had come up to me yesterday, all fake concern and calculating stares. I'd walked off without a word; the very thought of him touching me, or even speaking to me made me feel sick. I didn't hate him for hurting _me_, but I did for him including Jacob in his fucked up little scenario. Granted there wouldn't have been one if I'd been honest with Jake a lot earlier, but I couldn't take that back now. I'd made a mistake; I was nowhere near as perfect as he believed me to be.

And I hadn't wanted to hurt him, however much my actions from the outside may have belied that. I loved him, just not in the way he wanted. It wasn't the fact I was with Edward, but the fact I'd carried on pretending with him for all those months while my feelings laid with another.

Now more than ever, I wanted to know what had caused that divide between them. I had Jacob's side, but Edward had promised me that his reasoning wasn't true. He'd sworn he'd never used Leah like that shortly after the death of her father. But then why did Jacob think that if it weren't true? Jacob could be a lot of things when pushed, but he wasn't a liar.

I had a feeling the only straight answer I'd get would be from the girl involved herself. And I wasn't sure I wanted to face her, let alone ask her for the truth. Charlie spent more and more time with Sue now, so I knew I'd have clear opportunities to go over to the house if I wanted to tag along. Plus there was Seth, who I hadn't seen in a few weeks now, but knew would hang out if I asked him to. I missed his easy going fun and smiles, and hoped I hadn't changed anything too much between us. I knew he looked up to Jake, I just hoped he wasn't too disappointed in me that he'd not want to talk. It was weird, but I really cared about how he saw me, maybe because he didn't have a bad bone in his body. He was one of the good kids that hadn't been altered by the bullshit that occurred day after day. A good soul.

I felt a tug to my hair, and smiled at Jazz as he sidled up next to me. "You okay?" he whispered, looking casual.

"Fine," I nodded, swallowing nervously when I felt Edward stand on the other side of me. I could feel the warmth coming right from him.

"Bella," he greeted, head bent in my direction.

I bit my lip and looked forward, catching the look on Alice's face as I did so. She was staring at her brother and me, sadness marring her features, and I hated to see that, so I pushed my own issues aside and spoke back.

"Hi," I said, quickly glancing his way. Or at least that had been the plan. He was closer than I'd originally thought, and for a moment I was tempted to get lost in green, green eyes, but thankfully Coach Clapp decided to walk into gym at that exact moment and call the class to his attention, signalling the end of all discussions for the moment.

I was all too happy to step away, needing the distraction from the even bigger one beside me.

"Listen up class," he bellowed, hands by his sides. "Get yourselves into groups of six; half of you on one side of the net, the other three opposite. Shake hands, say hello. They're now your opponents for the next forty minutes."

Emmett immediately made a grab for me. "I choose Bella," he said, and I had to steady myself on his arm, in danger of tripping over my own feet.

"Jesus, Em, careful," Edward snapped. I kind of froze at that, my gaze instantly snapping towards his face. He was frowning, hands lodged into his hair as he tilted his face upwards.

It felt weird, him saying these things now that we were no longer, well... _anything_. It brought about a wave of feelings I attempted to push down, but couldn't quite get rid of.

Rose grabbed my hand, breaking us all out of the funk we'd landed in. "And I'll make the three," she said with a swing of our arms. "Do you want to get the ball then, losers?"

"Oh, you're going down, sis," Jazz smirked, earning a high five from Alice.

"Yeah they are," she agreed, laughing as she skipped over to the basket of tan coloured rubber balls.

"We should talk strategy," Em whisper-shouted, earning a snort from Rose.

"You may want to lower your voice, then," she said with a roll of her eyes.

He pinched her ass, causing her to squeal rather loud. "Geez, Rose, you may want to keep it down. You're drawing attention to our super secret strategy talk right now."

I cracked up fully for the first time in days as she shot him a glare, the good kind that made your cheeks hurt from smiling so hard.

"I don't know what you're laughing at," Em teased. "You're basically _it_."

I wiped at my eyes. "It what?" I asked.

"The strategy."

I raised a brow. "How so?"

"Our strategy is keeping you from hitting the ball."

"Ah, I like this strategy."

"Of course you do. I made it up."

I exchanged a smile with Rose as she shook her head lovingly at her boyfriend. I immediately felt that pang inside my chest knowing I didn't have that anymore, but tampered it down.

"Let's get this show on the road, then, El Capitano," I said.

He grinned. "I like that name."

"Of course you do," I smiled. "I made it up."

Em's laughter pretty much stayed present for the whole of the class, as our strategy backfired.

Edward caught on pretty quick to what we'd planned, and kept sending the ball over my way. I was getting frustrated, which only made him do it more. I knew what he was trying to do; he was trying to rile me up, get me to pay attention to him. It was working.

We'd always behaved like this with each other though, and now seemed to be no different. Soon it became a back and forth game of volleyball between just me and him, each return he made just making me further determined to actually _attempt_ to hit the ball back, which never turned out quite right. I ended up hitting Newton on the back of the head twice despite the fact he was on the next court over, which had Rose in stitches, the mascara smudging underneath her eyes a little. She'd laughed so much.

"Asshole," I muttered under my breath as I bent over at the waist. I was pretty sure this was the hardest I'd ever worked in gym before.

I narrowed my eyes as Edward raised the ball into the air and threw his other hand behind it, sending it sailing my way. I reacted on instinct and flung my own hand out, watching as it flew back over the net. And hit Edward straight in the face.

"Shit," I whispered, forgetting I was meant to be keeping my distance, as I made my way over to the other side of the net.

Jazz and Alice were trying not to laugh, while Em was openly doing so.

"Are you okay?" I asked, reaching out to touch his face before I realized what I was about to do. He grabbed my wrist before I could pull away fully though, and pulled me closer, resting my hand on his stomach.

He looked down at me, eyes darting about my face. "I am now."

I bit the inside of my cheek. "Don't do this."

"Do what?" he asked, his thumb rubbing over my pulse point.

My lips parted, cheeks warming. "Touch me," I clarified. "I don't like it."

"Your body says otherwise."

"My heart doesn't though," I amended.

He licked his lips. "No? What does it say?" He was staring straight at me, other hand holding the ball against his side.

"It says you hurt it," I swallowed, trying to pull away.

His eyes darted to my mouth before resting on my eyes once more. "Let me make it better."

"No."

"Yes."

I gritted my teeth. "Stop."

"I can't."

I wanted to say so many things, but didn't, but managed to pull away and take a step back without tripping. "I'm sorry for hitting you in the face."

He rubbed his cheek. "I'm not."

"Why? Are you into that kind of thing now?" I said sarcastically, unable to help myself now that we were actually speaking, even if it was just to argue. He still had the cuts on his face from Friday night, and I wanted to run my fingers over them and kiss him. It was messed up. My _head _was all messed up.

His hand dropped from his face, expression serious. "No, because it got you to finally talk to me."

I pulled in a shaky breath, hating the effect his words had on me.

"You can't say things like that," I said, glancing at the small audience of our friends as they pretended not to be watching.

"Like what?" he questioned.

I tugged on the end of my shirt. "Like you care."

He frowned, his lips pursing ever so slightly as the whistle blew, Coach Clapp signalling the end of class.

He didn't say anything and I didn't wait for a reply. So I guessed it wouldn't have mattered even if he had.

OoOoO

I spent my lunch hour in the library, rushing to get the biology homework – that I hadn't done the night before – completed. And all the while I berated myself for kicking my books off the bed last night in frustration.

My inability to concentrate was something I was sure wouldn't be disappearing anytime soon, and it was irritating me to no end.

Finally finished, I was just packing away to head to biology when I heard the chair next to me pull out. Thinking it was either Angela or Alice or one of the others, I immediately smiled, the action lasting no more than two seconds when I saw who it really was.

"What are you doing here, James?"

I wasn't friendly; I didn't smile or say hi. I wanted him gone; far, far away from me.

"Is that any way to greet a friend?"

I wanted to laugh, but was afraid I'd cry instead. "You're not my friend," I said adamantly. "You never have been."

He sucked on his teeth as he folded his arms on the desk, eyes cold. "Tell me," he started, flicking at someone else's pen forgotten on the table. "How's Jacob? He looked pretty upset last time I saw him. He was a _friend_ of yours wasn't he?"

I swallowed thickly but said nothing. I wouldn't give him the satisfaction.

"How about Edward?" he smirked, tapping his knuckles on the table. I turned my head away.

"You know, I saw it coming with him," he sighed, clearing his throat afterward. "He just can't commit."

I felt tears prick my eyes, but didn't let them fall. He wasn't worth getting upset over.

"He was your friend, too, wasn't he?" he said, his voice making me cringe. "And now you have no one at all."

His words were a punch to the gut and I had to get out of there.

I got to my feet suddenly, surprisingly him a little as the table jostled. "I feel sorry for you," I whispered, not wanting to draw attention to us.

His mouth formed a thin line. "And why's that?" he wondered.

"Yes, things aren't great right now, but at least I had people to lose in the first place," I stated, watching his face harden. "While you... You've always been all alone, and you always will be. You sicken me," I hissed, grabbing my bag off the chair.

The bell rang just as I got out of the library, and I had to rush to get to biology on time, nearly dropping my books in the process twice, a little shaken up after my run in with James.

I managed to quickly slip through the door just as Mr. Banner was about to close it, narrowly missing getting squished. "Nice of you to join us Miss Swan," he said dryly, earning me stares from the rest of the class.

_Go about your business people._

"Sorry," I breathed, dumping my bag on the desk I shared with Edward, a sigh of relief leaving my mouth as the weight left my shoulder.

Edward was already in his seat as I sat, his body angled slightly towards me, his head bent but eyes focused solely on me. "What's wrong?" he immediately asked, eyes drifting over my face.

"Nothing," I answered, shutting him down.

He jaw tightened but he dropped it, his gaze still on me though.

Mr. Banner didn't pause for breath through most of the lesson, and I had to sit on my hands to stop myself from reaching over to touch Edward's in front of me, his long fingers tapping incessantly on his notebook, distracting me the whole time. I could tell he was still agitated from earlier, but I didn't want him getting into any more fights over me.

It felt like I was being pulled in all different directions, and I didn't know which one to take.

This was the class he'd always attempted to somehow touch me in, whether it was a thigh against my own as he moved his stool nearer, or his hand holding mine under the table, and I had to stop myself from turning my head to see if he was still looking at me, his gaze addictive.

Every nerve ending was on alert, and whenever he shifted in his seat, I found myself doing the same. Thankfully the bell rang just as I thought I was about to go crazy, and I wasted no time in packing up my books.

"And before I forget," Mr. Banner announced as I got to my feet, his voice louder than normal so he could be heard over the hum that had built as students got ready to leave, "I expect your project essays in by the end of the week. This means final draft, and absolutely no do-overs! You've all had long enough."

I instinctively looked beside me, knowing that I'd have no option but to finish this with Edward.

His head rested in his hands as his elbows hit the table, fingers scrunching at his hair as he met my gaze. And I swore I saw the hint of a smile playing at his lips. I scowled.

I knew for a fact neither of us had written a word for our final findings yet; we'd simply just jotted down notes and the like. And I was pretty sure the impressions that I had recorded were up in Edward's bedroom somewhere.

_Shit._

"Shall I come over then?" he wondered, swiveling around on his stool, his hands gripping the outer metal of his seat in-between his legs, drawing my eyes downwards. _Oh good God._

"No," I said with a shake of my head, quickly pulling my bag over my shoulder.

He licked his lips. "When, then?"

"I don't know," I exhaled, eyeing the door. "I'll think about it."

He got to his feet, his nearness resulting in goose bumps across my skin. "Why can't you answer me now?

I looked anywhere but at him. "Because I can't," I answered lamely, quickly stepping around him, not wanting to get caged in. Today had been too much, and I needed a break away from him.

I heard his sigh as I passed, but I ignored it, gulping in a huge breath as I pushed the doors to the front of the school open, more than ready to just go home.

OoOoO

"You okay, Kiddo?" Charlie asked as we were eating dinner. "You seem kind of... off."

It was rare that he was home around this time, and I'd jumped at the chance to cook us something. I'd gotten pretty lazy just cooking for myself. Not to mention I was so fed up with sandwiches. Steak and potatoes were a blessing right then, and I was grateful for the fully stocked fridge thanks to Sue's trip to the grocery store for me when I'd returned home from school.

"Yeah, I'm fine," I lied, shoveling a forkful of potato into my mouth so I didn't have to say any more.

He jerked his head slightly, not quite a nod, his eyes assessing. He so knew I was bullshitting, but thankfully left it alone.

"Well, as long as you're okay then," he uttered, getting up to place his plate in the sink. "I better be off. You sure you'll be alright cleaning all this up by yourself?" he asked. As if he even knew how to wash a dish. Well, I'm sure he _knew-knew_, but just didn't _do_.

I rolled my eyes. "Yes, Dad."

He harrumphed. "Make sure you lock all the doors before heading to bed," he reminded me. "And leave the kitchen light on so it looks like someone's still up. We'll be less likely to be preyed upon by a smartass looking for a quick buck that way," he added. He watched far too much TV.

"Dad, this is Forks, not LA," I laughed.

He picked up his keys, jangling them slightly in his palm. "Even so," he said as he opened the front door. "Night, Bells. I'll see you in the morning."

"Night," I called after him. "Drive safe."

I spent the next few hours watching TV and doing a load of Charlie's wash before heading off to bed. I logged into my email, intent on checking in with Mom when a chat box sprung up onto my screen, the resounding ping that belonged to the message ringing in my ears.

My breath hitched.

**EC11388:** Hi.

I stared and stared, fingers frozen on the keys.

**EC11388:** Don't go. Talk to me, please.

I pressed my toes into the carpet, knees bouncing up and down. I wanted to ignore him, close the tab down and crawl into bed.

Instead, I found myself answering him. It was easier through a computer screen.

**Isabella:** Not tonight.

**EC11388:** Why?

**Isabella:** I'm tired.

**EC11388:** I've got a cure for that.

My first reaction was to laugh, but things were different now.

It was moments like this when I missed him the most.

**Isabella:** I'm sure you do. Be sure to replay that to the next girl you fool around with. Maybe she'll be impressed.

**EC11388:** There's not going to be any other girls. Only you.

**Isabella:** You haven't got me anymore.

**EC11388: **Don't you miss me?

I stared at the words on the screen, hating the way my heart pounded and my body hurt from simply remembering the events of what I now liked to refer to as, Valentine's Day Shitfest: Part Two.

**Isabella: **No.

I lied.

Of course I missed him, but I couldn't trust him. And I couldn't dismiss something like that, however much I may have wanted to.  
**  
****EC11388: **I think you're lying.

Yeah, but I wasn't going to tell him that.

**Isabella: **And I think you're delusional. There, we're even.

**EC11388: **Deny all you want. I know you. Want me to come kiss you goodnight?

My fingers flew across the keys, irritated. _Has he forgotten how to read?_

**Isabella:** I'd rather you kick yourself in the balls.

**EC11388:** Who said romance was dead?

I squeezed my eyes shut. _You did, Edward. You._

**Isabella:** Seriously? You killed it, Edward. It's dead.

Was he really that dense?

His response was almost instant.

**EC11388:** Well then you've obviously forgotten all about my resuscitation skills. ;)

**Isabella:** Ha. No, I remember. And they're really not that impressive. At all. So, whatever, get over yourself.

**EC11388:** Evidently you're not thinking clearly. It's sad.

No, what was sad was the fact I was actually taking part in any of this. I knew what he was trying to do, and I was torn between hating _him_ for it, and hating_ myself_ because I didn't want him to stop.

I was so weak, joking around with him as if nothing had changed. He'd hurt me, and I needed him to see that wasn't okay, but when he was acting like this – or, in truth, when he acted in any way – it was hard to put a stop to my feelings. Love wasn't something that disappeared over a few days. It lingered and followed you around, lost until the feeling was reciprocated. And I wanted it, I did, I was just no longer sure if I wanted that with _him_.

**Isabella:** And evidently you still don't listen, or care about anyone else but yourself.

**EC11388:** Don't assume shit, Bella. You know that's not true.

**Isabella:** Do I? Because you haven't shown me anything that would prove otherwise.

I waited for a reply, but nothing came, no little message telling me he was still there and writing.

His light was still green though, taunting me, and I wondered if this was just him playing another game.

I closed my laptop, and pushed away from my desk, slamming my bedroom door behind me as I ran down the stairs, wanting to do something other than sit and wait for something from him. Again.

I yanked open the fridge door and grabbed the first thing in sight, which just happened to be some fruit flavoured yoghurt. _Fucking dairy products_.

The cutlery clanked inside the drawer as I searched for a spoon, and I instantly dug it into the yoghurt as soon as I pulled off the lid. A bit landed on the back of my hand, and I was just licking it off when the back door opened, a shadow cast on the wall beside it.

I screamed and threw the pot in that direction on instinct, somehow thinking it would act as a good weapon, scared shitless.

"Jesus Christ," the person breathed. "What the fuck are you doing?"

I knew that voice, and I lowered the spoon that was still clutched in my palm, my hands still shaking.

"What am _I_ doing?" I breathed. "I live here shithead. What are you doing here? You scared the hell out of me!"

He stepped over the mess as he pushed the door shut behind him with his foot, striding purposefully, scaring me all over again.

"Don't," I warned, holding up a hand. "Go away."

"I'm only here because you asked me to be."

My eyes widened. "I did not!"

"You told me I didn't care, and that's not true."

I shook my head, knowing where he was going with this. "It's too late for that. I don't want to hear it."

"Why?"

"Because nothing's changed here, Edward," I pressed, taking a step back. "I won't fall for this a second time. I won't... I can't do it."

His chest expanded, hands finding the insides of his pockets. "I said I was sorry," he pointed out, moving to stand in front of me, eyes locked on mine. His voice was lower, tugging at my heartstrings.

My back hit the wall as I moved with him, but he didn't stop, he just kept coming closer and closer, messing with my emotions all over again.

I dropped my gaze and stared at his chest, resisting the urge to reach out and touch the patches of skin between his button holes. "Yeah, well sometimes sorry isn't good enough."

I felt his breath on my cheek as he sighed. "I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do here," he admitted, the tone of his voice hinting to his frustration. "What do you want me to do?

I shook my head. "I don't want you to do anything. I just want you to leave me alone."

He paused, his breath momentarily held. "Is that true?"

My eyes flicked to his. "I don't know."

I watched his jaw tense and relax, back and forth, transfixed. "You do know. You're just being stubborn."

"I'm the stubborn one?" I laughed. "You're un-fucking-believable."

"Nice of you to notice," he deadpanned.

"This isn't a time for jokes."

"Then what is it a time for?" he questioned, his hands leaving the confines of his pockets as they rested on the wall behind me.

"It's time for you to go home," I breathed, ignoring the way his head titled ever so slightly, effectively bringing his mouth inches away from skin.

"And what if I don't want to go home, Bella?" he wondered, his voice low. "What if I said I don't think I can sleep without you next to me anymore?"

His admission made my heart physically hurt as my hands gripped the ends of his shirt, stopping him from coming any closer. "Then I'd say try harder."

I could feel the telltale sting behind my eyes and hated that this hurt so much. I missed him and wanted him to stay, but there was a reason that couldn't actually happen. It felt like there was something pressing down on my chest, my breaths tight. He pressed his face against my neck, and my eyes clamped shut, my fingers alternating between tugging him closer and pushing him away, one after the other.

"I can't stop thinking about you," he breathed, his hair tickling the side of my face, sending sparks across my skin. "I lie in bed and think about all those little sounds you make when you get turned on – the way you squeeze your thighs together when I press my tongue to that spot right over your pulse."

I pushed at his chest. "Stop, please. You're being unfair," I told him, fully aware of what he was doing. He was playing on our physical connection, always wanting to be touching.

He pulled back ever so slightly, the expression on his face tearing at my resolve as green eyes held my brown ones in place. "I miss this though the most," he voiced, his thumb tracing my lips, and stopping at the corner of my mouth. "I miss your smile."

My chest heaved as I dropped my hands, everything too much. I wrapped my arms around my torso, trying to hold on. He just had to say it. Three words and I'd be his. But until then, it wasn't enough. It couldn't be enough.

I knew what it felt like to only have half of him, and look where that ended up: a broken hearted girl and a lost boy, both stubborn and stupid.

"Do you still want me to go?" he asked, gaze intense and hopeful, pleading and dark.

No.

"Yes."

I dropped my gaze and focused on the way his jaw ticked, one of his more obvious shows when frustrated.

"I'm not going to give up," he promised, his thumb trailing the apple of my cheek before he left me standing there alone in the kitchen with nothing but a racing heart and an overly-dominate thought.

_I don't want you to._

* * *

**Reviews will get a teaser for the next chapter. :)**

**I have a couple of recs this week:**

** The first one is, 'The Demons In My Dreams' by littlecat358. I seriously love this Edward. I want to share slightly burnt poptarts with him on a morning. ;)**

**And the second is, 'Empty Bloom' by ineedyoursway. This is really interesting so far, and contains an Edward that has a bit of an addiction. And I don't mean in the substance sense, if you know what I'm saying. ;)**

**Thanks so much for reading!**

**VHL xx**


	38. Chapter 38

**Hey everyone! Thanks so much for still being here while this finishes up. Your kind words mean so much.**

**As always a huge thank you to my beta Susan. She is the best. And big thanks to the lovely Judy for pre-reading.**

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns Twilight and all its characters. **

* * *

Edward

I kicked off my shoes as soon as I stepped through the doorway and immediately made my way to my desk, a sigh of frustration passing through my lips as I did so. I didn't know why I was so worked up, I knew today would be no different than the ones previous. It didn't make the sting any less though; didn't take away that scratch-like itch that covered my skin whenever she was around yet continued to ignore me.

Three days had passed since that incident in Bella's kitchen. And while she hadn't been avoiding me, she'd still kept her distance, speaking to me only when absolutely necessary. I'd stuck to my word though, and hadn't given up.

Trying to get her alone, however, was proving to be a problem. Alice and Rose were constantly flanking her, and I didn't know if this was intentional on her part, or theirs, but either way it was beginning to grate on me.

I'd reached out to her again today in biology, only to be met with one word answers and cursory glances. I couldn't stop thinking about her, her face a constant presence every time I closed my eyes. I wanted to shout, pound my fist against the surface of my desk as I attempted to get a handle on my emotions. These wouldn't have been quick fixes though, merely fleeting reprieves that left me all the more desperate. All the more drained. I swear she'd been purposely wearing her skirt shorter to school, too. I had eyes, I noticed that kind of shit, especially when I'd spent most of the lesson staring at her legs beneath the desk.

It was getting harder to sit next to her for that hour in awkward silence, my nerve endings on high alert. And today had been no different. I'd teased her, curling the ends of her hair around my finger as I came up behind her, knowing she both hated and loved it from previous experience. I didn't care if she got pissed at me; some part of me even _wanted _her to. Any acknowledgment was better than none at all. I'd rather have her ire than indifference, and if that meant picking up old habits again, I'd do it.

It had been like this between us from the very beginning, and I wasn't about to stop that now. It had, after all, gotten me the girl in the end – hopefully this would be a time when my stubbornness wouldn't come back to bite me in the ass.

She'd pulled away though, eyes flashing in that way I was used to – in that way I loved – but said nothing. I hadn't had a chance to push her as much as I'd wanted to. And that was my plan – to _push_ her, let her know I wasn't going anywhere; let her know she was _it_ for me.

However, Mr. Banner had been annoyingly perceptive this past week and any attempt I'd made to rile Bella up had landed flat before it had ever really started. His beady little eyes would dart to where I was sitting, and the resulting expression that would consequently pass over his face let me know he was on to me. It was just like him to finally start paying attention to the class when I needed him to not give a shit. He hadn't bothered in the months beforehand, so for him to start "caring" again now put a wrench in my plans. Dick.

I'd caught up with her outside the classroom, her attempt at leaving before me thwarted by a very persistent Newton. I was pretty sure he was in the middle of asking her out when I grabbed her hand and pulled her into an empty classroom, slamming the door in his bewildered face.

"You can't just drag me off whenever you want to, Edward!" she shouted, all burnished brown gaze and flushed cheeks as she tore her hand from mine. She was pissed, and while I couldn't blame her, it didn't mean I regretted my decision. I was desperate. And desperate people made hasty decisions.

I kept a neutral expression though; controlled my features as I attempted to hide just how much it bothered me that she'd pulled away. I took a step back, giving her the space she so clearly wanted before clearing my throat. "I wouldn't have to if you'd just talk to me," I replied, leaning back against the door.

She crossed her arms over her chest, a clear sign of defiance that pushed her breasts up a little. "I don't have to do that either," she'd answered.

She broke eye contact with me after a while, and I didn't know if it was because it was too difficult for her, or whether she simply hated the sight of me. Either way it led to a heightened sensation of _want_ and _frustration_ that made the muscles in my jaw clench and unclench in a steady succession.

She loved me, and surely something like that didn't just go away? Or maybe it had and that's why she could barely stand to even look at me.

I swallowed heavily against the sudden lump lodged in my throat, and breathed deeply through my nose. "You want me to stop?" I asked, watching her face for... anything.

She glanced back at me, feet shifting as she eyed the door behind me. "I just want to go home, Edward."

I stared at her for a moment longer before stepping aside, knowing that Alice would be waiting for her anyway.

I didn't say anything and neither did she, but as she grasped the handle, I let my fingers linger on her knuckles, silent apologies in the form of sweeping fingertips.

Her fingers flexed in the smallest sign of reciprocation before she wrenched the door open and left me standing there with a kind of bittersweet determination.

_She hadn't said _no.

I was brought back to the present by a door slamming downstairs, Emmett's booming laughter accompanying the echo. I scrubbed my hands down my face as I tried to erase the daily reminders that refused to leave; a pair of gloves she'd left in my room, a beaded bracelet attached to my bedpost, the spare toothbrush in my bathroom that hadn't been getting used. It was like she was everywhere... and how hadn't I noticed this before? I hated this feeling. _Hated it_. It was like I couldn't breathe, the room devoid of oxygen. I suddenly understood those sappy '80s movies where some douche would stand beneath a window with a boom box blaring out shitty tunes. I'd rather punch myself in the face than do it myself, but I understood it.

I made my way downstairs, intent on making a sandwich when Mom's voice rang out from her bedroom. "Edward?"

I paused, head tilting to the ceiling as I held in a groan. "Yeah?" I answered as I stepped into the doorway.

She was sitting in the chair by the window, sewing a hole in what looked to be one of Em's shirts. He was always tearing shit.

"Pass me the scissors would you, sweetheart?" she asked, motioning with her head to the small silver pair that sat on the bed.

I pulled in a deep breath through my nose before answering, "Sure."

I picked them up carefully, still mindful due to the hundred times I got told as a child not to play or run with sharp objects... not that I was planning to. "Here we go."

"Thank you," she smiled, snipping at the attached thread before holding the shirt out in front of her. "There," she murmured to herself before folding it onto the ottoman.

I turned to go, but her voice halted me once more. I held back a smile - I knew the scissors on the bed were a trick.

"Good day at school?" she asked casually. And here it was.

I nodded. "Yeah, it was okay," I replied with a shrug.

"You look tired," she noted with a small frown. Mothers were far too perceptive for their own good; far too perceptive for _my _own good.

"I haven't been sleeping that well," I admitted, internally cursing myself at my inability to lie to my mother.

"Anything you want to talk about?" she wondered as she packed her sewing needles and shit away, again not appearing as interested as I knew she actually was.

I sighed, scuffing the carpet with my shoe as I nudged at my left foot with my right. "Not really."

She smiled sadly, hazel eyes knowing. "Girl trouble?" she asked as she got to her feet.

She was scary accurate sometimes.

"No," I said far too quickly, unintentionally giving myself away. And okay maybe I_ could_ lie to my mother.

She gazed back at me steadily and I had to stop myself from squeezing my eyes shut at my own stupidity - flashing neon lights would have been less obvious. I should have just gotten "I fucked up with the pretty girl next door" stamped onto my face.

"What did you do?" she asked again.

I was immediately on the defensive. "Nothing."

She reached forward and brushed against the cut still on my cheek. "Don't think I didn't notice these," she said unimpressed. "I'm not stupid. You got into a fight."

"No." Liar.

She shook her head, and not quite amusement, but something along those lines played across her face.

"You're a terrible lair, just like your father," she added. "I always know when he's eaten the last of the ice cream, just like I know these grazes don't appear from looking in the mirror too much. Your brother would be covered in them otherwise." It was true, Em did love a reflective surface.

I groaned. "Jesus... Mom, there is no girl, okay?" I insisted, looking away.

She laughed lightly. "There's always a girl, sweetheart," she smiled as she took my face in her hands.

"Not in this case." She ignored me.

"Don't let this one get away. I happen to like her," she whispered, tapping my cheek softly before stepping around me to leave the room.

I stood there in a stupor for a few seconds, mouth open and eyes wide until I managed to force out, "And what girl would that be?" No way would I admit to anything if she didn't really know. She could be pulling that reverse psychology bullshit where she led me to believe she knew when in actual fact, she didn't have a clue.

She straightened out a picture on her dresser, distractedly answering, "I think we both know."

No dice. "We do?" I queried. Stubborn 'til the end.

She looked up, a small smile in place. "You get your bullheadedness from your father, too," she said softly. "I'm going to go start dinner."

I felt like crap. Parents were masters at guilt tripping. "Okay," I responded.

I was almost home free... _sort of_, when she paused just outside the door, evidently not quite finished. "Oh, and tell Bella I have a recipe here I think she'd like," she winked, finally leaving the room, shouts for Emmett to stop leaving his shoes on the stairs drifting back to me.

I felt like I'd just been hit by a logging truck - it became all too apparent where Alice got her awareness and intuition from.

I forewent the sandwich and collapsed onto my bed as soon as I got back into my own room, kind of in a daze as I wondered how the hell that had just happened. And how I managed to, without fail, get myself into those situations.

All I'd wanted was a bit of bread.

I pressed my face into my pillow and mumbled a muffled _fuck_.

OoOoO

The parking lot was getting pretty full as I flicked the last of my cigarette to the ground, watching the cherry momentarily spark as it hit the pavement before I stumped it out under my shoe.

"Ang just pulled in. I'll see you later," Ben said as he pushed himself off the tree.

"Alright," I nodded, immediately going back to watching Tyler and Mike fight for Bella's attention.

It was kind of funny, watching them exchange their not-so-friendly thumps to the arm and slaps to the back. Funny in a way that also made me want to let out all the air from their tires. If it was obvious to Bella what they were doing, she didn't let on. In fact, I wasn't sure she was paying that much attention to them in the first place. Her gaze was drifting around the other students in the lot, brow furrowed as Mike waved his hand in front of her face, trying to divert her focus back to him. He was only briefly successful.

I slipped my lighter back into my pocket and lifted my shoulders from the rough bark of the trunk as I used my slightly bent leg for momentum, pushing myself from the tree with the flat of my shoe.

They started walking towards the school at the same time I did, Bella's gaze immediately finding mine, expression shifting a little. She dropped her eyes, breaking contact.

"Bella," I greeted with a small smile when I got close enough for her to hear me.

She looked distracted. "Hi."

Mike had scampered off, no doubt sulking somewhere. Tyler whispered something into her ear, laughing as her cheeks blushed a little. _Motherfucker_.

She looked back at me, eyes on my face as Tyler said something else before shouting for Eric to wait up. He probably wanted the answers to last night's homework again.

"What was all that about?" I asked, trying to rein in my jealousy.

"Nothing," she replied.

"Didn't look like nothing," I said, reaching out to push a strand of hair from her cheek.

"Really?" she questioned. "What did it look like to you?"

I didn't hesitate. "It looked like he was hitting on you. Again," I added as an afterthought.

"And what if he was?" she asked with a smile.

I smiled back. "You know what."

Her smile dropped, and she started walking again, both of us silent, that distracted look back on her face again.

"You look pretty today," I commented, letting my eyes linger on the soft skin of her thighs as she hitched her skirt up a little. I held back a smirk, my suspicions confirmed. _She was so doing that shit on purpose_. The fact she wasn't looking at me, but rather Tyler Crowley however, was a concern. I frowned. _Was she doing this for someone else?_

My worries were cut short as she stopped walking, suddenly seeming to remember I was beside her as she gazed up at me, brown eyes inquisitive. She gave me a dubious look as if she didn't quite believe me... _trust_ me, eyes narrowing in contemplation ever so slightly.

"What?" I protested, shifting under her gaze. "You do."

She raised a brow as she swept her hair from her face, my fingers unconsciously twitching at my sides. "Flattery will get you nowhere," she informed me, shifting her bag a little higher on her shoulder.

I reached out to help her, lowering my palm again when she twisted back a bit. "No?" I asked with a smirk.

She shook her head. "No," she repeated.

"So what will?" I wondered as I shoved my hands into my trouser pockets. "I aim to please," I closed with a wink.

Her nose scrunched up as she replied, "Nothing."

I sucked in my cheeks a little as I considered my reply. "I have a near perfect credit history," I continued, scratching the side of my jaw.

She laughed. "I don't doubt you. I'm sure there are _plenty _of girls who left you a perfect score," she said sweetly... _too_ sweetly, head titled to the side in an even sweeter smile.

Jesus, she was in _bitch_ mode this morning... Shit, was I allowed to think that? I almost wanted to say she was acting cute, but there was nothing cute about that determined look in her eye.

"You'd think that," I said, brushing off her attempts to rile me up. "But it's really not that big a—"

Her eyes instantly dropped to my crotch, causing my words to instantly die off and my mouth to snap shut. "Oh, I know," she interrupted, smiling, that glint in her eye getting stronger.

I smirked. "And now I know you're lying."

Her cheeks flushed, teeth pressing down on that plump bottom lip I want to suck into my mouth... wanted to nip at. She was driving me _insane_.

"But who knew you were such a perv?" I teased, holding back my smile as her mouth opened in shock.

She shook her head. "You did not just say that," she said lowly.

I played dumb. "Say what?"

She stepped forward a little as a group of girls from the year below passed us, flashing me smiles as they went. I instinctively looked at Bella, who kept a straight face throughout, her features not portraying any particular emotion. This only served to confuse me further as all different scenarios of _why_ passed through my head: _she's moved on_ and, _she no longer cares _being the prominent two.

"Call me a perv," she continued when they were out of sight, the words sounding dirty on her tongue.

I decided to tease her a little more. "But did you, or did you not, just openly stare at my crotch?" I questioned. She glared as I stepped forward and motioned to all the other students in the lot with my head, my lips almost brushing her forehead as I murmured, "I have witnesses."

I pulled my hands from my pockets and tilted her face towards mine, not giving a shit who was looking. She met my gaze, long lashes brushing the area just above her eyes as her lips parted.

"Then they can witness this, too," she whispered as she brought her hand out, hitting me straight in the stomach.

I held back a wince, grabbing her wrist as she went to pull her hand away. "Always so violent," I groaned, rubbing at the now sore muscle beneath my shirt. "Jesus, Bella, do you take secret boxing lessons I don't know about?" I asked with a half smile.

"You don't know everything about me," she answered.

"I think I know a good deal," I disagreed as I linked her fingers with mine.

"Yeah, well, you don't," she said while trying to pry our hands apart. "For all you know I spend my nights with a guy called Ted from Port Angeles."

I laughed, tonguing the inside of me cheek as I asked, "Ted, huh?"

She bit her lip, pausing. "Yes, Ted," she sighed. "He's a gentleman," she pressed, giving me a pointed stare.

"Sounds boring," I murmured, getting a little defensive.

She brought our hands to her mouth, the side of her palm resting against her cheek as she spoke. "You'd think that, but it's not," she said before biting the patch of skin between my thumb and forefinger.

I hissed and finally loosened my grip, giving her the opportunity she needed to step away.

Her eyes darted over my face, watching. "It hurts more when you don't expect it, huh?" she murmured, hesitating for a brief moment before starting towards the school once more.

I watched her go, and that brief glimpse of sad brown I'd caught as she'd paused, let me know she wasn't talking about a small bite to the hand, but rather a blade to the heart.

And I knew it would take more than a simple _sorry_ and _you look pretty_ for her to forgive me.

Classes passed in a boring blur, one after the other until the bell for lunch finally rang. I was standing in the lunch line deciding between pizza and this pathetic looking chicken burger when a heavy hand clamped down on my shoulder.

"Thanks for saving this spot for me, Edward, my brother."

I shook my head, chuckling. "Let me guess: you've forgotten your wallet again, and want to borrow some money," I sighed.

"I'll pay you back, I promise," he assured, already piling up my tray with anything his hands were in reach of. I rolled my eyes and let him take charge, grimacing when the chicken burger made it onto the brightly coloured plastic. I decided then and there that I wouldn't be eating that, and would have the pizza after all.

I paid and we walked over to our table; everyone else was already present and in mid-conversation.

I slid into the seat opposite Bella instead of the one next to her, a glutton for punishment apparently; I'd rather look at her than not. Although, it didn't really make that much difference in the end, as she pretty much ignored me the whole time.

I took a sip of my coke, tapping the cap on the table, knowing the sound got on her nerves. Her eyes kept darting to my fingers, her own hand forming a little fist on the table. I looked at the window and smirked. Waiting.

Her hand shot out over the table, pausing my movements. "I know what you're doing," she stated confidently.

"I doubt it," I answered.

"You know how much I hate that," she continued. "And I know you know that I hate it."

Clever girl. "Not everything is about you, you know."

Alice laughed, evidently listening to our conversation. "You could have fooled me," she interrupted. "The way you mo—"

Jasper clamped a hand over her mouth. "What did we learn in school today?" he teased her, placing a kiss on her forehead as she rolled her eyes. Her response came out muffled.

"Exactly," he continued, "we don't get involved in other people's business."

Rose snorted and I shook my head, grinning. "Good luck with that," I mumbled.

Bella glanced at her watch, sighing. "Only one more class and then freedom."

Em got to his feet, arm in the air. "You can fill our heads with the value of X and Y and other shit we don't care about, but you'll never take our freedom!" he bellowed.

I took one look at Jazz and we both cracked up. The boy had no embarrassment gene.

A few people gave him funny looks, but the majority of others just laughed. They were used to his antics by now.

"I'm stunned I'm related to you," Alice said, but she was smiling.

"I feel that way about Jazz a lot of the time," Rose interjected, earning a petulant scowl from her twin.

"Hey, what did _I_ do?" he asked just as the warning bell signaled.

"You want an example?" she asked. "Like, right now? You sure?"

He crossed his arms over his chest. "I'm sure."

"Okay, take last week when we were about to go shopping for Mom, and you got into the wrong car parked out front," she said, smiling. "I came out of the house to find you screaming like a girl because that creepy guy from next door had gotten into the front seat."

I choked on my drink as laughter bubbled up my throat, Em's infectious guffaw not helping matters.

"That's enough," he said, getting to his feet. "We should all get to class."

"Dude, that's the funniest shit I've ever heard," Em said with a wipe to his eyes. I glanced over at Bella who was biting her lip trying to contain her own laughter.

"In my defense, I'd just woken up from a nap," he stated. "I was disoriented. And that guy is weird."

"The one with the lazy eye?" I wondered.

"Yeah, that one."

Bella shook her head. "I better get my books," she smiled. "I'll see you guys later."

"I'll walk you," I offered as I got to my feet, grabbing my bottle of coke from the table.

Her eyes cut across to me as she pushed her chair under the table. "I can manage on my own, thanks."

"I insist," I smirked, following behind her.

She mumbled something else, but I didn't quite hear what it was, her words swallowed up by a couple of guys as they burst through the door.

"It's inevitable, you know," I said as I held the door open for her and motioned her through with an impatient wave of my hand.

She stopped just outside the door. "What is?"

I had to resist the urge to step forward and press my lips to her hair. "You forgiving me," I said lowly.

She held my gaze, and I was stuck, drowning in a vortex of brown, surrounded by dark lashes. Couldn't she see I was trying? I had never gone through all this for a girl before. Ever. I didn't know what to do to make it right.

"Keep telling yourself that," she murmured, turning on her heel and leaving me to follow once more.

We paused in front of her locker, and the sight of her biology textbook sparked my next words. "We need to finish that, you know," I pointed out. "The project I mean. We've only got a few days left."

Her hand came out to rub at her forehead. "I know."

"Tonight?" I suggested.

She sucked in a deep breath, "I haven't got much of a choice."

"Your place or mine?" I asked, a smirk tugging at my lips as I glanced back at her. I turned around fully, waiting for her answer as I brought the bottle to my lips, finishing the last of its contents.

Her gaze dipped to my mouth and back again, eyes glazing over just a little. "Yours... No, mine," she quickly amended as she ran her hands through her hair, her frustration evident. "I don't care. I just want to get it over with."

My smirk grew. "Yours it is then."

I wasn't about to spend the only bit of alone time I'd garnered in a house full of family.

She licked her lips and twisted around to gather her books once more, her skirt riding up in the process. "Charlie will be gone around four, so come over after then," she sighed, brow furrowing as she searched through the unorganized pile of textbooks inside her locker.

"That eager to get me alone, huh?" I teased, leaning against the locker beside hers. I kept my eyes on her face, watching for that look she got when she was pissed; her eyes would get a little squinty, her lips would part. She angled her head, and bingo! _There's my girl_, I thought.

"You're delusional," she glared.

"You're cute," I shot back.

She raised a brow. "You're an asshole."

"I'll be over at four thirty," I smiled.

"Whatever."

"So make sure you're ready for me," I continued with a wink as I slipped the empty bottle into her locker.

Her cheeks flushed. "I'm not in the mood for jokes. Or your trash," she added as she eyed the empty coke bottle.

"No?" I queried as I crossed my arms over my chest. "Then what are you in the mood for?"

She didn't miss a beat. "Maim and torture."

I laughed. "Ooh, kinky."

She tried not to smile. Tried and _failed_. "Shut up."

"I can't," I said with a slight shake of my head. "It's a disease."

"Ew, get away from me then," she mock scowled, taking a step back.

I curled my fingers around her waist, drawing her closer. "It's not contagious, I promise."

"It wouldn't make a difference if it was," she said as her hands rested atop mine, trying to push me away. "You won't be getting close enough to pass anything on."

I raised a brow, trying to contain my smug smile. "We'll see," I replied confidently, pulling her closer still.

She resisted, her body becoming heavy. "You're gross."

"You wound me," I said, removing one of my hands as I placed it over my heart.

She looked up to the ceiling as she sighed. "You're a liar."

"You _love_ me."

I regretted the words as soon as they left my mouth, my heart pounding inside my chest. _Stupid_._ Stupid. Stupid._ She shut down, lips pressing together as she regarded me silently; more than anything I wanted to know what she was thinking.

She lifted her palms, touch gone. "I need to get to class."

"We have the same class," I reminded her. "Skip it with me," I urged, trying to maintain her gaze. She pulled in a long breath, lashes fluttering as she debated my suggestion. I wasn't going to apologize for my slip, because even though it was freaking her out, I wanted to know; wanted to tell her I felt the same way. But I wasn't about to do that in a school hallway yards away from a girls' bathroom. I wasn't a romantic, but even_ I _knew that wasn't the most ideal of places.

Also, I wasn't sure she was ready yet. She hadn't forgiven me, and until she did, it wouldn't feel right. To me anyway. Then of course, there was the possibility she wouldn't forgive me at all. But I couldn't think like that... I _wouldn't_ think like that.

"I can't," she said as she pulled away fully, the final bell sounding. "Let's just go to class. We're already late."

My head hit the back of the lockers as she pushed through the double doors - this whole rejection thing was getting harder every time.

Biology was exactly the same as it had been yesterday; as it had been all week - awkward. She didn't wait for me after class, I just got an _'okay'_ when I told her I'd bring our previous notes with me to her house after school.

I was just about to get into my car when a body slid in between my arm and the car door, my hand just narrowly missing this girl's boob. _What the fuck?_

My eyes jerked up, Makenna's face smiling back at me - I resisted the urge to groan. I so didn't need that shit right then.

I forced a smile onto my face as I asked her, "What's up?" It wasn't her fault I seemed to be in a perpetually bad mood lately. It only generally happened when Bella wasn't around. I ran my hand through my hair and sighed. Jesus, I was turning into one of those emo kids that listened to depressing music and dyed their hair black... maybe wrote about their feelings in black sharpie as their pain was "permanent". God I hoped it wasn't.

"Nothing, you just dropped this," she said, holding out my green lighter. I hadn't even noticed it had fallen out of my pocket.

"Oh, thanks," I said, taking it from her, her cheeks flushing as my fingers brushed her palm. She giggled. I smiled. I wanted to get home.

My first thought was that it reminded me of Bella - I was losing my mind. And then when I turned my head and actually _saw_ her standing by Em's Jeep not two cars away, I was sure of it.

I could have sworn she looked pissed, but I blinked and the expression was gone. She turned her back to me and climbed inside, closing the door behind her and effectively shutting me out. _Shit_.

"I've got to go," I said, gently maneuvering Makenna as I opened the door and chucked my bag into the back seat.

Her smile waned a little. "Oh, okay. See you tomorrow."

"Sure," I said, closing the door before peeling out of the lot.

I grabbed a glass of milk and a couple of cookies as soon as I got home, ever mindful of the clock as I jammed them into my mouth.

Hoodie on and notes in hand, I dodged Em's jab to the ribs as I made my way out the front door.

"Where are you headed?" he asked after me.

"Nowhere," I shouted back, sliding up my hood.

Charlie's cruiser was thankfully missing when I jogged up the steps to the front door. I knocked twice before it opened and she moved to the side to let me pass, no greeting given. I was expecting as much.

She made her way up the stairs, and I wasn't sure if I was to follow her or not, but decided I should.

"What's your problem?" I asked stupidly, moving behind her into her room. She was grabbing her pencil case from her school bag on the floor, a frown sent my way.

"Did I tell you to follow me?" she questioned.

Frustrated, I rubbed my scalp with my left hand. "No, but then you didn't tell me to stay downstairs, either," I pointed out.

"I don't want you in here," she told me, avoiding my gaze.

I took a cautious step towards her. "Why not?"

Her frown increased, brown eyes dulling. "Seriously, Edward?"

I swallowed heavily. I knew why, I just wanted her to talk to me. I missed her.

"What were you talking to Makenna about?" she blurted, her voice coming out fast and soft.

I sucked in a deep breath as I rolled up the notes and slid them into my front pocket. "Nothing," I sighed. "I dropped something, she returned it. No big deal."

"You were touching her a lot for something that was _no big deal,_" she mock repeated. "It looked like you were flirting with her to me."

A bitter smile found its way to my mouth. "What do you care if I flirt with someone else?" I asked, the bite in my voice not intended, but unavoidable. "You broke up with me, remember? _You_ kicked _me_ out!"

My chest heaved and I pressed my teeth together harshly as she turned around, eyes narrowing. I didn't think I'd ever fully understand this girl... or any girl, for that matter. Bella was maddening and beautiful... and I loved her. She took my heart... _stole_ it; that didn't make it any less hard though. But then I wouldn't want it _not_ to be, either.

Jesus Christ I sounded like a girl.

She laughed, the sound forced and humourless. "You're kidding me?" she said more to herself than me, eyes drifting to the ceiling as her head titled upwards. "He's got to be joking."

Yeah, definitely talking to herself.

"I don't see anyone laughing," I pointed out, feeling my irritation heighten. I was wound up tight like a ball of sting; one pull and I'd unravel.

She leveled me with her gaze, cheeks pink and distracting. "Edward, I don't know how many more times I have to say it," she stated, wrapping her arms around herself. "You fucked up," she continued, "and if you can't see that, then it's hopeless. Everything is hopeless."

I took a step closer, not backing down. "I fucking said I was sorry," I pressed, urging her to just _see_. "I've said it so many times."

Her eyebrows rose. "You've said it once," she shot back, all provoked instinct. "And it was half-assed at that."

I went to speak but quickly closed my mouth, a frown overtaking my features._ Once?_

"Don't look like that... don't make me out to be the bad person here," she added, tugging at the ends of her sleeves.

"But it's okay for you to place all the blame on me?" I asked incredulously, feeling the tension in the room. "I wasn't the one technically cheating on their boyfriend," I snapped, regretting the words almost instantly.

Her expression changed, eyes pained as her lips drew into a thin line, and I cursed myself internally, hating myself for opening my mouth. Again. I wasn't being fair, I was just as much at fault there... probably even _more _so considering I was the one to originally pursue Bella, and not the other way around; even if it was for different reasons back then.

"That was a low blow, Edward," she breathed, shaking her head as she looked back me, all melancholy expression.

I scrubbed my hands over my face, breathing deeply. "I know. I'm sorry." And I was.

She unwrapped her arms from around herself, fingers pushing through chestnut strands as she turned her focus out the window. "This is the exact reason I can't do this anymore," she explained in a low voice.

I felt my eyebrows pull together. "What is?" I asked, taking a step towards her, watching as her eyes darted to my movement.

She looked at me for the longest moment, and I was afraid she wasn't going to answer when her lips parted. "That fact that you keep hurting me," she pushed out, blinking quickly as she looked away again, seeming almost annoyed with herself for admitting it out loud.

I swallowed heavily and paused in front of her, my fingers moving to tug on the bottom of her shirt. "I don't mean to," I replied, attempting to pull her closer.

She looked up at me, eyes clear and assessing. "But you do," she said, trying to push my hands away.

I ignored her attempts and momentarily tightened my grip. "Don't run," I murmured, my hands sliding from her hips to her thighs, fingers grasping pale flesh as I pulled her fully into me.

She let out an unsteady breath, her palms coming to rest against my chest to push weakly. "This is my house. I won't be the one leaving," she stated firmly, her words stronger than the feeble shove of her palms.

"You kicking me out, Bella?" I wondered, bending my head until my nose brushed the side of her face, her jaw.

"I should."

I wanted to hold her all night. Tell her I was sorry, tell her that I loved her, over and over until she was tired of hearing it. But not tired of me.

"Tell me how to make it right," I murmured, my voice taking on a pleading quality.

"I can't," she whispered. "I shouldn't have to."

I squeezed my eyes shut. "I'm trying," I breathed, pressing my lips to her forehead. She tried to struggle but soon gave up, and I held her like that for a while, all warm skin before she started to shake, shoulders trembling. She was crying... and I did that. I wanted to make her tears stop, kiss them away. But I couldn't. How could I when she was barely allowing me this?

"You have to leave," she said suddenly as she pressed her face into my shirt, and I swear I felt a pang strike inside my chest; felt something akin to a punch to the gut.

I swallowed heavily. "I don't have to."

"You do, because otherwise I'm going to do something that I'll hate myself for in the morning." Her voice sounded so broken, and even though I didn't want to, I pulled away, jaw clenched. I hated myself.

"What about the project?" I asked, swallowing heavily. I didn't give a shit about the project, I just wanted to stay. "We've got two days to get this shit done."

"We'll finish it tomorrow," she answered. "I just need..." she closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "I need to sort things out in my head," she finally finished. "And I can't do that with you here... touching me. It's confusing me."

I nodded, hands finding purchase inside my pocket as they curled into fists. It was taking everything I had not to take the easy route, blurt out that I loved her. But I didn't want the first time I said that to be marred with my fuck ups. I wanted this to be a happy memory for her, not something shrouded in shed tears. That's not to say I hadn't thought about it though. I had, constantly, obsessions that clouded my brain, cigarette smoke and burning tobacco.

"I'll see you tomorrow then," I said gruffly, clearing my throat. She nodded jerkily, glancing at me quickly before turning her back to me as she opened her closet.

My hands found purchase in my hair as I left her room, pausing more than once on the stairs as I debated going back there and potentially fucking everything up further. _No_.

There was no slamming of the door this time as I walked out into the crisp spring air: I was more despondent than angry. I made my way across her lawn and onto my own, kicking random pebbles as they appeared before my feet.

And just as I got to the bottom of the outside steps that lead to my room, I paused, fingers curling around the rail. I felt the muscles in my jaw working overtime as the idea popped into my head. And I immediately fought it. Tried to push it from my head as it fought back.

_Fuck it_, I murmured harshly, and fisted the car keys in my pocket as I turned on my heel and got into my car.

I knew what I was about to do could blow up in my face in epic proportions. But I reminded myself who I was doing it for and took a deep breath, trying to ignore the way my fingers gripped the steering wheeling as I pulled out of the driveway, knuckles pale against the dark leather.

Spring was really showing, first buds starting to appear, littering the constant green at the roadside. The roads were busier at this time of day, workers commuting back and forth, the drive taking a little longer than it would have only hours earlier.

My jaw was tense, shoulders matching as I glanced at the clock on the dashboard, the sky only just starting to darken, a light grey merging with the blue and clouds above.

I found the somewhat familiar opening at the side of the road, the track wide enough for at least two cars. There were a few kids playing with a soccer ball as I tried to remember which house was his; they all looked pretty similar. I'd only been down here a couple of times, and they'd all been brief, a few minute's wait while Leah dropped something off at her cousin, Emily's house. She'd always asked me to bring her down here when her mom forced her to, for some reason... maybe so she had an excuse not to stay. And I got that, especially after what she'd confided in me only months prior. We weren't super close, but our families knew each other from before. The Clearwaters lived near us for a while before we moved to Forks - they moved quite a bit - but Leah and her family finally settled here a couple of years back due to her dad's health: they wanted to be nearer to family. And Sue Clearwater was a big help to Mom when she lost the baby, dropping by to see how she was, baking cakes and shit for me, Em and Allie.

Leah was a few years older than I was, but she trusted me for some reason. Maybe due to the fact I was outside her immediate circle. I don't know. It didn't really matter though, not really, as it just never went down well with Jacob or some of her other friends down at the rez. They couldn't understand why she'd want to hang out with me knowing my "reputation". No matter how many times Leah told them it wasn't like that, that we weren't fooling around, they didn't believe her. In the end, we stopped defending ourselves and just let them think what they wanted. It wasn't my business to say anything anyway, so it was easier in that sense.

I spotted Jacob's house after a few minutes and pulled over, the black car parked out front solidifying my previous inkling. I didn't want to do it... not really. Everything inside of me was screaming against me getting out of the car.

I cut the engine, but didn't make a move straight away. I lingered, my palms scrubbing at the sides of my face as my right knee started to bounce in the limited space. The temperature was dropping and I was getting more and more frustrated with myself... with the whole situation. I had no reason to apologize to Jacob. Or maybe I did; somewhere I knew it was a shitty move to steal another guy's girlfriend straight from under his nose. But I wasn't sorry. I could never be sorry about Bella.

I spotted the curtains twitching in my peripheral, and knew I couldn't stay sitting here like this forever, knew that I had to make a decision. So with one last deep breath, I pulled on the handle and climbed out, the click of the door behind me giving sound to my resolve.

Dirt clung to my shoes as I crossed the small distance to the door, blue soles turning brown. I kept my eyes on the ground, dodging puddles when necessary, and was just passing the garage attached to the side of the house when a clanging sound rang out from inside, a muffled curse swiftly following.

I immediately paused, recognizing the voice of the person inside. I slipped my hands into the front flap of my hoodie as I stepped closer to the door, my self-doubt crashing against me just like the waves I could hear in the distance.

Bella missed him... and I knew he had yet to answer any of her calls. I'd heard Alice talking to Rose about it yesterday as I passed her bedroom. Rose was very much against her calling him in the first place, stating he was an emotional blackmailer from things Bella had told her, but Alice wasn't so sure. She was thinking more about Bella herself, and how this was affecting her, even if she had been the cause.

There was still so much guilt hanging over her head, and while that was still suffocating, it was unlikely she'd be able to look at me without thinking of him, too. Viewing it that way... maybe it was a little for myself as well. I held back a bitter smile; it seemed there was no end to my selfishness when it came to her.

I was about to just get it over with when the gap in the door widened, and Jacob stepped out. He didn't see me straight away, too busy wiping the oil off his hands with an already dirty piece of cloth. But when he did... his whole demeanor switched. The passive expression on his face morphed into one of undisguised hatred.

His arms dropped to his sides, muscles tensing as he spat out, "What are you doing here?"

I held his glare, trying really hard not to form one of my own as I answered him. "I came to talk to you," I explained, not stepping down.

"I have nothing to say to you," he said, his tone final.

I didn't let that deter me. "It's about Bella."

He took a step forward, finger pointed, his anger more than present. "You don't get to talk to me... especially not about her," he said harshly. He lowered his hand, gaze drifting off to the right. "I don't care what she does."

I took a deep breath, trying to hold onto that last bit of control I had. "You don't mean that," I said, shaking my head.

He threw the piece of cloth to the side, uncaring where it landed. "You've really got some nerve," he seethed. "Why are you really here, huh? Come to gloat some more?"

"No," I snapped, trying to rein back my anger. "For some reason, she misses you. I don't get it, but she does," I said truthfully. I hated admitting to it - my life would be a whole lot easier if she didn't give two shits about him.

His face creased. "Yeah, it really looked like it when she had her tongue down your throat."

I felt my expression harden. "You weren't even together then, and you know it," I voiced, pulling my hands from my pocket. "Stop trying to make it out to be something that it's not. We both know why you're pissed."

He looked away, unwilling to agree. I continued.

"If it was anyone else, it wouldn't have mattered. But it wasn't, it was me. And the truth is that you can't stand the fact that she'd choose me over you."

"Of course I don't like it!" he shouted, arms out at his sides. "You treat girls like dirt. I didn't want that for her."

I shook my head in bitter amusement. "You don't know shit," I spat, eyes narrowing. "You don't know the first thing about me."

He crossed his arms over his chest, nostrils flaring. "I know enough."

I pressed my teeth together, jaw clenching. "I didn't come here to talk about me. Just... don't take it out on her," I said, pulse racing in anger. "It's not her fault. I went after her, not the other way around. If you want to blame anyone, blame me. I'm the asshole here."

A scoff passed through his lips. "How valiant," he sneered.

"You think I want to be here?" I asked, jabbing a finger at my own chest, my control slipping once more. "I'd rather be anywhere else _but _here right now. I don't want to be talking about this crap with you. If I had my way Bella wouldn't even think of you. At all. But I've lost something that means more to me than you could ever understand; so if that means I have to come over here to make it right for her, I will. To be honest, I couldn't give a fuck if you liked it or not."

"You really are a piece of shit, do you know that?" he laughed, the sound devoid of all humour. "You think you can just here come and apologize and everything will be forgiven?" He shook his head. "Even you're not that stupid."

I scoffed. "This isn't an apology."

His eyes hardened. "No, there never is one with you," he responded. "Just like what you did with Leah—"

I bristled. "There was nothing with Leah! I'm not going to apologize for shit I didn't do!" I shouted, interrupting him.

He glared right back at me, his mouth forming a hard line. "So what about all the shit you did do?" he demanded. "You tear people apart - you didn't care that Bella had a boyfriend before you started messing with her head. You did it because you wanted to, consequences be damned."

I shook his words off. "I didn't come here to talk about me," I repeated for a second time, his words hitting too close to home. "Talk to her. Answer the phone when she calls."

"Why, so we can talk about your little visit?" he taunted.

"No," I answered calmly. "She doesn't even know I'm here."

He eyed me steadily. "Bullshit."

I shook my head. "It's true. I'm not exactly doing this for me," I explained.

He watched my face, no doubt for signs that I was lying, eyes assessing. "You fell for her, didn't you?" he questioned.

I shoved my hands into my pockets, not answering him.

He started laughing again, hands clenching by his sides. "You're so messed up," he said, his tone acerbic. "_This_ is so messed up."

There wasn't much I could say to that, maybe because he was a lot right. Or maybe because I just didn't want to agree with him. We were both hurting over the same girl, albeit for very different reasons. Did that form some sort of impasse? No. Did that make me hate him any less? Never. But when he told me to get the fuck away from his house, I didn't come back with some smart ass remark, I simply turned around and walked back to my car. This time the door clicked with more finality.

I'd done what I came here to do; what I came to say. If he didn't listen, didn't care, there wasn't much more I could do.

I drove back down the now-empty track, night having fallen without much realization on my part. The twisting roads before me gave life to the thoughts inside my head... that sinking feeling inside my chest.

I couldn't stop wondering, couldn't stop the apprehension that spiked through my veins like uncontrolled adrenaline.

_What if this isn't enough? What if _I'm_ just not enough?_ I gripped the steering wheel a little tighter, trying to snap myself out of it.

Only time would tell. And while there was a lot of it, it didn't quell that fear.

I drowned out my thoughts with the radio, volume high, listening to songs about heartbreak and unrequited feelings.

At least, for a time, I had a reprieve.

At least, for a time, they weren't my own.

* * *

**Reviews will get a teaser for the next chapter.**

**Okies, I have a few bits and bobs this week. Firstly, a couple of recs:**

**'Everlasting Why' by suitablyironicmoniker. This is so well written. Young, training-to-be social worker Bella meets vamp Edward, who for all intense and purposes is a seventeen year old boy. I'm so bad at summaries, but I'm so excited by where it's headed. **

**And, 'He's Lost Control' by Fliegendamsel. I really like this Bella. And Romanian Mathward is also pretty wonderful. ;]**

**Please leave both stories some love.**

**Also, are you writing for the Twilight of Craiglist contest? You should! I'm one of four judges. The other three are all super lovely. Submissions deadline is December 27th. We'd love to see you there. Here's a link if anyone is interested:**

**http:/www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/u/3211840/TwilightofCraigslistContest**

**And lastly, EE is up for fic of the month over at The Lemonade Stand! Voting closes Wednesday. All votes are greatly appreciated. :)**

**http:/tehlemonadestand(dot)blogspot(dot)com/**

**Thanks so much for reading.**

**VHL xx**


	39. Chapter 39

**Hey everyone! Thank you so, so much for being as patient as always, and for your continued support. I really appreciate it.**

**There will be one further chapter after this one, and then a small epi.**

**And as always, huge thanks to Susan and Judy for all they do. I love them both.**

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns Twilight and all its characters. **

* * *

Bella

The days bled into each other, a whole week passing by in a blur of the same. I was still hurting, still questioning if I was making the right decisions when it came to Edward.

He'd been so persistent, day after day trying to tease, trying to make me smile. Some days it worked... and other days it just hurt to remember. It reminded me of when he'd first started seeking me out, his attention so overwhelming, all flushed cheeks and racing hearts. He was still as maddeningly magnetic now, too, with his crooked smiles and teasing words just for me.

And I was still just as drawn in.

It was getting harder to resist everything he was throwing at me: piercing stares and one sentence notes that made my heart stutter. My emotions were all tangled up like Christmas lights that had been hastily shoved into a box until the following year - it was taking a lot of time and patience to work through them.

It felt like I was being pulled in all different directions, _north_ flipped on its head as my world spun. I was so torn, almost as if I was standing in the middle of an empty street, deciding between left and right.

It would have been so easy to take that extra step when he got so close his lips were only inches from skin; it would have been so easy to forget for a few blissful moments and just _be_. But with school and the way girls still looked at him - with the way James smiled every time he saw us apart - it was still just as easy to _remember_.

And then there was our little group.

In some ways nothing had changed. We still did the same things and hung out almost every day after school. But I never quite felt... _right_. I was always watching what I said or did, conscious of Edward whenever he was nearby - conscious that I couldn't just link his fingers with mine when no one else was looking or give him that secret smile that would always entice one of his own.

Edward was trying, just like he'd promised... but was it enough? This was_ him _and yet it was that very same _him_ that had hurt me. Did I really want that boy, the boy who disregarded my feelings as easily as a shake of the head? The answer, however long I thought about it, was always _yes_: he was the boy I fell in love with. However, I couldn't get the two to fit together in my head, which left me with all this confusion. He was acting as he always had, and while a big part of me loved that - even if it did make me feel a little crazy - I also knew how this turned out.

And would it head in that direction again? He'd promised me it wouldn't and I really, really wanted to believe him. But promises were there to be broken and trust was still a big issue between us... maybe always would be after previous mistakes on both our parts. Thinking like that did nothing to get me out of the funk I found myself in.

My hip hit the side of the porch railing as I popped the last bite of toast into my mouth, chewing slowly as Seth appeared at the bottom of his driveway, his skateboard scooped into his arms as he retrieved it from behind the back wheel of his mom's car.

"Hey, Bella!" he shouted upon spotting me, his usual smile on his face.

I brushed the crumbs off my uniform. "Hey, kid!" I shouted back, teasing him - he hated me calling him that. He flipped me the bird just as Leah stepped out of the house, and I laughed as his cheeks went a little pink, worried he'd been caught.

She hadn't seen him though, as she was staring at me, indecision apparent in her movements as she took a step forward only to instantly pause again afterward. It looked like she was about to come over, but then she glanced down at the watch on her wrist, seeming to make up her mind about something. She shouted at Seth to hurry up before disappearing back into the house.

With a roll of his eyes, and a quick wave in my direction, he ran back into the house, his lips moving with words I couldn't make out from where I was standing.

Confusion settled over me as I thought over Leah's behaviour. Her hesitation - or seemingly wanting to speak to me in the first place - was odd. Apart from the occasional 'hi' at awkward dinners as our parents unconsciously made goo-goo eyes at one another, we really didn't run in the same circles. Then it hit me: _Jake_. Was he okay?

I frowned, concern suddenly fluttering inside my stomach. Or maybe she was pissed at me for how things had gone down and wanted to let me know.

Neither option seemed to have a silver lining.

Jake still refused to speak to me, not that he'd actually said that in so many words. Or, more accurately, any at all. He'd simply refused all my calls, which was all the information I needed.

I suddenly had the fierce urge to try again that very second, but knew the attempt would turn out just like all the rest: unanswered. I'd have to try another way, even if it meant him telling me he didn't want to talk to me to my face. Anything was better than this awful silence. I had to make it right... or at least attempt to. Jake no longer being in my life in any capacity, stung, and I was under no illusions - it was all my own doing. I wasn't feeling sorry for myself; I was simply weighing up the situation in my head, trying to figure out how to make it right. If he'd let me.

I knew things would be stunted between us from now on, even if he did forgive me. But we were bound to run into each other a lot, my leaving soon for college not altering that fact. Our fathers were best friends, and with summer and Christmas holidays there would become a point when it became unavoidable. It wouldn't be fair to those around us to leave all that tension unresolved.

With a deep breath, I pulled myself from my thoughts and finished the last of the juice in my glass, my eyes trained straight ahead as loose strands of hair - that had escaped from my braid - tickled the side of my neck. The ends swept across my collarbone in a lazy dance, my hand immediately swiping at the spot as my skin prickled with forgetful fear. And I swore each time I felt that brush on my skin, I forgot it was my own hair, positive for an instant that it was a spider or some other insect with too many legs. And it was kind of greedy having eight legs when you really thought about it; even if the ugly ones did carry a lot of hair.

I blamed Alice, or rather, Emmett for my current paranoia.

Alice had invited me over last night, and when it came time to pick a movie, Em had insisted on watching some sick documentary about arachnids instead.

And it had completely freaked me out.

He sat there in twisted amazement as the screen showed them repeatedly stabbing their prey with their poisonous little spike thingy before rolling them up in their sticky web. It was almost like a gift to themselves that they got to unwrap at a later date. Em would murmur words such as _badass _and _crazy fuckers_ more frequently as the documentary went on - I mostly just agreed with the last part.

In my world, that _badassness_ was called murder in the first degree, like some psycho shit you saw on the ten o'clock news while surrounding family members shook their head in disgust. They were freaks - the spiders, rather, not the family members. Well... most of the time. I guessed it depended on whether your family was more "White House" or "white trash". Not that there was even that much difference, one always ended in a blowjob scandal.

As soon as I'd gotten home, I'd gone straight to my room. I checked under beds and behind desks so many times I eventually lost count - it was the only way I could contemplate going to sleep. I'd even ended up changing my bedding, convinced one of the little freaks was hiding in a pillowcase, ready to strike as soon as I closed my eyes. They didn't seem the most noble of creatures.

I shook my head and couldn't hold back the shiver that accompanied my thoughts.

The other distraction that had me antsy all night was the fact Edward hadn't been there. For the first time since his determined speech, he'd been absent. I kept glancing over my shoulder at every little noise, eyes trained on the stairs, convinced it would be him descending them. My muscles would freeze in anticipation, both willing and fearing him showing up.

He never had though, and I was left wondering what that meant.

I'd been so close to asking Alice if he was even_ home _so many times that I made myself feel sick. But worst of all, I was left questioning whether he'd changed his mind; left questioning whether he'd decided I was no longer worth the effort, especially after weeks of not getting anything in return.

It hurt to even think about it, despite my up in the air status. But then what did I expect, him to pine over me until I thought a reasonable of amount of time had passed? No.

I was immensely thankful that the weekend was here, and couldn't wait to get my classes over with as quickly as possible so I could enjoy it. Or at least try to - if I managed to switch my thoughts off long enough for that to happen, that was.

I was so tired of school and brave faces - and the flutter inside my stomach whenever I sensed Edward was looking at me. That feeling made me weak, which was dangerous, as a large part of me never stopped wanting to simply run up to him and tell him all was forgiven; kiss his cheeks until he truly smiled. But that smaller, wary part of me was still dominant, still stopping me.

His assurances in light of recent events didn't account for much. It didn't mean my feelings had changed - I still loved him, so much it sometimes physically hurt - but I had to be one hundred percent sure he wasn't going to do something like that again, and I wasn't quite there yet.

Clearing my head I picked up my now empty glass from the railing and headed back inside the house.

Charlie was flipping through the newspaper as I entered the kitchen, a frown pushing his brows low over his eyes. "Have you seen the sports section, Bells?" he asked without looking up.

"Yeah, I took it out earlier, you know, to read up on all those sports I'm interested in," I joked.

He smiled, his hand coming to rub at his moustache. "Alright, alright."

"It's missing?" I questioned while rinsing my glass out in the sink.

He exhaled loudly, a thoughtful expression passing over his face. "I bet that little shit who delivers the papers took it out. His older brother is a known troublemaker; so it's unsurprising this one would turn out the same way."

"You don't know it was him," I pointed out, even if I did agree with the 'little shit' evaluation.

He huffed. "Do you know where I found this, this morning?" he exclaimed, pointing to the paper. "In the damn hedges."

I stifled a laugh and quickly turned around. "Disgraceful," I mock agreed, starting the dishwasher.

"Hey, I'll have you know that a newspaper is one of the most important things in a man's life. It's serious business," he declared.

"I'm sure it is," I smiled, grabbing my book bag from the back of the chair. "Anyway, I'm heading to school. I'll see you later, Dad." I placed a quick kiss to his temple, his hair tickling my nose. Only when I went to pull away his hand found my wrist, causing me to pause.

"You know you can talk to me about anything, right, Bella?" he pressed, brown eyes concerned within a stoic face. "I know I'm not always the most outgoing of fathers, but I can tell when something's wrong."

"I'm fine," I lied. "It's just a stressful time, what with exams coming up, that's all."

I could tell he didn't quite believe me, his brows forming a furrowed line. "Want me to shoot someone?" he offered, joking. At least I assumed he was joking.

I shook my head, a laugh bursting from my mouth. "No, I'm good," I replied. "Thanks for the offer though. I'll keep that in mind."

"You do that," he responded, clearing his throat as he turned his attention back to the paper.

I gave him another kiss, feeling bad for lying, but honestly, what girl wanted to talk to her father about a boy? Not this one. Especially considering that boy was Edward.

I didn't even want to think about how he'd react to that bit of news.

I found the kitchen empty upon arriving at the Cullen's, which wasn't particularly odd. The silence, however, was. There were no obvious signs of activity in the house, no lingering smell of breakfast foods in the air. With a frown creasing my forehead, I shuffled over to the base of the stairs, straining my neck back as I followed them up, up, up. I was debating heading to Alice's room, or simply calling out for someone, when a pair of hands grabbed my waist from behind.

"Shit!" I breathed out, heart hammering as I swiveled around too quickly, losing my balance. Those hands grabbed me once more, this time not letting go.

I found myself staring up at a very amused Edward.

"Morning, sweetheart," he grinned, his hair as chaotic as always.

I attempted to push his hands away, my endeavor useless. "I'm not your sweetheart," I grumbled, resignation tingeing my voice.

He pulled me closer, his hands now at my back, out of my reach. "You are to me," he replied.

I gave him a cutting look, unimpressed, but mostly frustrated at how much I loved him holding me. "I didn't know we'd decided on nicknames," I ground out between half clenched teeth.

"It's a new development," he added, his closeness making my head fuzzy.

"Oh, well, in that case: want to know mine for you?" I asked sweetly, complete with an exaggerated smile.

His eyes narrowed minutely, his mouth tilting up at one side. "Sure," he responded slowly.

"Fucker," I said, not hesitating.

He nodded. "Original," he said, amusement dancing in his gaze.

"Accurate," I amended stubbornly.

He licked his lips. "Feisty," he returned.

"I'll show you feisty," I mumbled.

His fingers slipped under the hem of my sweater. "I can't wait," he grinned.

I rubbed my hands over my face. "Where's Alice?" I asked, changing the subject.

His nose wrinkled. I wanted to kiss it. "Sick," he answered.

I gaped. "What, is she okay?"

He shrugged off my concern. "Yeah, she'll be fine. She and Em ordered a pizza after you left last night from that new place in PA. They've been vomiting all night."

"So Em's sick, too?" I asked, mouth open. Food poisoning was the worst.

He nodded. "Yep."

"Wait... you were here last night?" I exclaimed, his admission only then registering.

His eyes dipped to my mouth. "Why, did you miss me?" he wondered, pinning me in place with his gaze as he brought his eyes back to mine.

I swallowed heavily. "No."

He sucked in his cheeks a little. "You're a terrible liar, Bella."

"It's a good job I'm not lying then," I responded, resisting the urge to grip the front of his sweater between my fingers.

He exhaled loudly, looking away. "Anyway, they're sick, so I'm taking you to school."

I balked, trying to pull away again. "No, you're not. I'll go with Jazz or Rose."

He shook his head. "No can do. Mrs. Hale is playing happy family again. She and the new guy are driving them."

"I'll drive myself then," I countered, refusing to let him win.

"You can't do that either," he said, tucking those loose strands of hair behind my ear, making me shiver in a completely different way than before.

"I think you'll find I can," I told him, pushing at his chest.

His lips rested at my ear. "Not without your keys you can't." He wiggled them in my face for emphasis.

I patted my pockets. "Fucker!" I exclaimed.

"You know something," he smirked, stepping back to gather his own bag from behind him before slipping mine from my shoulder before I could stop him, "that pet name is really starting to grow on me."

I glowered. "I'm glad, because you'll be hearing it a lot."

"You spoil me," he said, waving an impatient hand through the now open door.

I kicked him in the shin as I passed. "Don't I just." I smiled.

He cursed lowly, trying not to grimace. "You just can't stop touching me, can you? I'm _that_ irresistible."

My brows rose, arms crossing over my chest. "That was meant to hurt."

"Well, it didn't," he replied, closing the front door behind us.

"In that case..." I moved to kick him again, or just pretend, but found myself being flung over Edward's shoulder instead.

Our bags fell to the floor as he strode to the car, my hands slapping his back all the while. "Edward! Put me down!" I shouted, trying to push myself upright as blood rushed to my head. And if this wasn't mortifying enough, I was pretty sure the neighbours were getting a good view of my cotton clad backside, too.

He paused beside the passenger door, sliding me upright but not setting me on my feet, leaving me no option but to curl my legs around him. My back met the side of the car as it supported some of my weight, the expression on my face no doubt hostile.

"Stop fighting me," he warned, his hands warming the bare skin of my thighs as he gave me a pointed look.

I turned my head to the side, refusing to look at him. "Then stop forcing me to do things I don't want to do," I replied.

"I will when you stop lying to yourself," he sighed, his response instant.

"You can't possibly know what I'm thinking," I said harshly, the bite clear in my voice.

He was silent for a moment, staring at me in that overwhelming way of his. "You're not the only one you're hurting by acting like this you know," he said after a few more beats of silence.

My eyes snapped to his face, incredulity strumming through me like the angry beat of a drum. "Don't you dare," I breathed out, a clear warning in my tone.

He shifted me up a little, eyes on my face all the while, his mouth set in a hard line as the muscles in his jaw ticked. "What is it that you really want, Bella?" he asked. "Because I'm not sure how much I've got left."

I wanted to wrap my arms tight around his neck and kiss him. I wanted him to tell me he loved me, show me something I didn't already know. But I didn't say any of that.

"I just want you to take me to school," I answered instead, my voice sounding small even to my own ears.

His breath caressed my cheeks as he exhaled heavily, my feet finally finding the ground as he let me go. Without another word he went back for our bags, my hand gripping the handle behind me as that familiar click of the lock sounded in my ears.

I watched him through the windshield, his expression blank, a heavy contrast to the animation that had been playing on it not moments before. His words were playing on repeat inside my head, my heart, the look in his eyes when he'd spoken them... he wasn't playing fair.

The back door opened, our bags deposited inside the car as I lowered my gaze to the floor mat. The days were getting harder to deal with, each moment spent with Edward chipping away at the wall I'd created around myself. There was no saying when it would crumble entirely.

He slid into the driver's seat, the scent of his aftershave hitting me in the enclosed space. And suddenly I wanted to scream, or cry, so tired of fighting this, fighting _him_.

His hand cupped the back of my headrest as he reversed, but he didn't look at me, didn't speak, the silence I'd been giving him reflected back at me. And I hated it. I went to reach for the radio dial, but paused, my hand momentarily hovering midway before falling heavily back to my lap. This wasn't easy like before. I didn't feel right just touching his car or his things, the sadness that accompanied this awareness hitting me full force.

We drove in silence, the tension in the car awful. Every shift he made my own body followed suit, arms and legs never staying still for long.

It wasn't long until we were pulling into the school parking lot, heads turning as Edward's car slid into the nearest empty space. He cut the engine, neither one of us making an immediate move to get out as raised voices and happy laughter surrounded us in muffled tones through the glass.

"Can I walk you to your first class?" he asked, eyes trained straight ahead.

I followed his line of sight, my frown becoming more prominent when I saw who it was he was looking at. _James_.

Was that the only reason he was asking, to prove something to _him_ of all people? I tried not to let doubt cloud my judgment, but it was hard, and I didn't want to get into another argument.

"I'll be fine by myself, thanks," I said, opening the door without any further delay. His fingers gripped the steering wheel, knee bouncing in the limited space the car allowed, his frustration evident.

I slammed the door after me, unable to stop myself, and ignored the curious glances of those around me. I heard him follow suit and quickened my steps, attempting to create some distance. If I was being truthful, I felt a little lost without Alice or one of the others beside me, but I knew Jazz and Rose would be around somewhere and that fact calmed me.

I wasn't, however, fast enough to dodge James' interception.

"Lovers tiff?" he grinned, motioning behind me with a tilt of his head.

I breathed in deep through my nose. "Go away," I said instantly, not wanting to deal with his smarmy shit so early in the morning. Or any time of the day, as a matter of fact.

He tsked. "Now, now, there's no need to be rude," he admonished, humour evident in his voice.

"There's every need," I countered, giving him a disgusted look. I hated that he was even speaking to me... that I was even _answering_ him. He made me sick.

"Did you forgive him?" he goaded, matching my pace. "Kiss and make up?"

My fingers tightened on the strap of my bag. "That has nothing to do with you."

He laughed, the sound making my skin crawl like nails down a blackboard. "You know, if I had known you were so easy, I would have asked you out a lot sooner than I did."

His words were like a punch to the gut, my feet coming to an abrupt stop as I turned to face him. Is that how everyone saw me?

I went to respond, my blood boiling and heart hurting, but a hand was suddenly on my shoulder, pulling me away. "Ignore him," the familiar voice whispered.

My shoulders sank in relief. _Jasper_. His presence was incredibly welcome.

But then I noticed that Edward was up in James' face, my own feelings forgotten as I solely worried about him. I didn't want him getting in a fight because of me... _again_. He still had evidence of the last one on his cheek, albeit so light you wouldn't notice unless you got really close. But that wasn't the point. He could get in serious trouble for starting a fight at school.

My muscles tensed as I took in the expression on his face, the hard gleam in his eyes and the curl to his lips - he looked murderous. It was obvious he'd heard what James had said, and my pulse started racing, adrenaline coursing through me as my eyes widened. Edward had been so tightly wound up the past couple of weeks, a coil just waiting to spring free. And before I knew what was happening, fists were flying, a sickening crunch permeating the air.

Jasper breathed out a _'shit'_ from behind me, giving life to my own thoughts as he sprang into action, my chest suddenly feeling tight.

"Edward, stop!" I cried, taking a step forward. A crowd had started to form, cheers and shouts echoing around us. Others pushed past me for a closer look, and I glanced around for Rose, wondering if she was here, but couldn't spot her anywhere. I felt useless, tears springing to my eyes as I continued to get shuffled to the back. I couldn't see what was happening, anger surging up inside me as I continued to get jostled about.

He was so fucking stupid, starting this here. He could get hurt. Or worse - suspended. It wouldn't take much for one of the teachers to glance out a window and spot us, especially considering the size of the crowd that had formed. And with the impact of that punch, I was pretty sure bones had been broken, which would lead one - or both - of them to the hospital, and incidentally, Carlisle.

With a determined deep breath, I tried pushing myself forward, dodging flailing arms and wayward elbows. But it was useless; no one was budging.

I hung back, emotions dizzying when the crowd suddenly parted, Jasper gripping the back of Edward's shirt as he urged him forward. He looked livid, his knuckles a deep pink, a small cut over his eyebrow again.

"What were you thinking?" I said, voice frantic as I followed them both to the back of the gym, away from the curious gazes of our classmates.

His eyes cut to mine, tongue swiping at the inside of his cheek. "He had it coming."

"You can't just go around hitting everyone that makes a shitty comment, Edward!" I said, exasperated. "The world doesn't work like that."

"I can when they make it about you," he said, whirling around to face me, his eyes hard. "If it upsets you, I'm sorry. But I don't care. He deserved it."

My chest felt tight as I pulled in a deep breath. "Do you realize how selfish you sound right now?" I said with a shake of my head. My heart was pounding, his words hurting me more than I wanted to admit. "If you knew it would upset me, why do it?"

He laughed, the sound bitter. "I just punched some dick for you, Bella! For _you_."

"But I didn't ask you to!" I stressed, hands balled up tight by my sides. "I don't want you getting into fights over me. I hate it."

"Edward," Jasper interjected, trying to get between us as we stared back at each other, both stubborn and angry; frustrated and hurting. "Calm down."

He shrugged him off. "Just give us a minute," he snapped irritably. Jazz held up his hands, obviously not wanting to make the situation worse, and glanced back at me in question. I nodded, and he squeezed my arm as he passed, giving us our space.

Loud voices could still be heard from the other side of the school as Edward's eyes roamed my face, his expression chilling. "I'll never win with you, will I?" he said after a moment, his gaze finally pausing on mine.

I took a step back. "That's not fair," I said, voice thick with burgeoning tears. "I just don't want to see you get hurt, that's all."

I loved him. How could he not see that?

He shook his head. "I can't do this with you anymore," he responded, jerking his eyes away. "I'm so fucking tired of being the bad guy."

Tears blurred my vision, my hands hastily swiping at my lashes before any could fall. "Then stop it," I pleaded, closing the distance, my fists smacking at his chest. "Stop making these stupid fucking decisions."

He blinked hastily, letting me do what I needed, his jaw tense. Tears were falling at this point, and I didn't try to stop them this time. I just wanted him to _stop_. For all this shit to stop.

My hands were trembling, and my pulse was racing, and it wasn't only my heart that was hurting, but my whole body. "All I've ever wanted is for you to tell me how you really feel," I said, my voice breaking with my admission. "And you can't even give me that. You can flirt and smile, hit some asshole in the face - kiss me - but here," I stressed, my palm flat against where his heart beat. "... I want to know what's in here."

I felt like I was breaking all over again, my emotions crashing together, wave upon wave, drowning in a flood of salt tears.

His eyes squeezed shut, the back of his head hitting the wall behind him as his neck bent, face tilted towards the sky.

I pulled away, wiping my cheeks with the tips of my fingers, my throat sore as I said, "I was stupid to think you'd ever want the same things I do."

His lashes parted, gaze dark and damp, trapping me in his version of pain. He'd made me feel all these things for him, made me love him, without giving anything else in return. And I couldn't be in a relationship like that, even if I wanted to. Even if my head and heart screamed at me, both for their own selfish reasons.

"Bella?" A timid voice broke through my internal despair, my head swinging around to meet a concerned looking Angela as she hovered at the edge of the building. "I'm sorry to interrupt, but the bell rang and Mr. Banner's looking for Edward," she said. "Jasper's been called to the headmaster's office, too," she added.

Edward exhaled loudly behind me. "I'll be right there."

I nodded, giving her a half smile. She turned to go, but my mouth opened, words falling from my lips that gave her reason to pause... words that I didn't even realize I wanted to say until I'd spoken them. "Ang, do you... do you think you could give me a ride home?" I asked her. I suddenly didn't feel well.

Her expression softened further. "Sure, Bella. I'll meet you by the car."

"Thank you," I whispered, watching her disappear. My feet felt glued to the spot, but I couldn't stay there any longer. It hurt too much.

"Fuck... don't leave," Edward groaned as I forced myself to move, his voice gritty.

I looked over my shoulder, my eyes briefly meeting his. "I need to," I answered softly, my arms curling around my chest as I bit the inside of my cheek, trying to get a hold of my emotions. I was tired of crying.

His fists slammed at the brick wall two or three times, and I couldn't stand there like that with him, be a part of that scene, live it. So I left.

I didn't know what else I could do. I felt drained, needing quiet and my own space. It was cowardly but it would have done neither of us any good to carry on in that way - he needed to calm down and I needed to sort out the thoughts running through my head.

"Are you alright?" Angela asked as I buckled myself into her car.

I gave her a watery smile. "I don't know," I admitted. I felt sick, goose bumps prickling my skin as I shivered.

She gripped my hand in hers before starting the car, blasting on the heat as dark clouds loomed above us, the weather turning bitter.

The silence was comfortable this time around, my temple falling against the headrest as I watched the scenery pass by in a blur of greens and browns.

"Will you be okay by yourself?" she questioned when we pulled up outside my house.

I gave her a reassuring nod. "Yeah, I'll be fine," I told her. "I'm just tired I think." Which wasn't completely dishonest - I really hadn't been sleeping well.

"Okay, call me later if you need to talk," she offered.

I pulled her in for a quick hug. "Thanks, Ang. For the lift and everything," I whispered in her ear.

A soft smile formed at her mouth. "You're welcome."

I jogged up the porch steps, thankful that Charlie was no longer on night shifts and that he was back to his normal work schedule. The last thing I wanted to do was explain why I was home, especially after our chat earlier this morning.

While all I wanted to do was sleep, I knew I couldn't sit and do nothing. My thoughts would plague me; so I did what I usually did when stressed: I cleaned. I scrubbed the kitchen floor and vacuumed and dusted the living room, sorted out piles of laundry from the bathroom and changed Charlie's bedding. Anything I could think of during the day, I did.

I jumped in the shower after, exhausted, washing away the sweat and grime from my skin, relaxing under the warm spray as it loosened my tired muscles.

I dressed quickly once I got out and glanced at the clock. School was about to let out for the weekend, and with that in mind, I decided to finish up my part of the project, wanting to keep my mind busy.

Edward and I had asked Mr. Banner for an extension at the start of the week, and surprisingly, he'd given us one, citing that he'd noticed the tension between us. We had until Monday to hand it in, so we'd split the project in half, knowing that with the way things were between us, we'd never end up getting it finished on time. Edward hadn't been happy about it, but it made sense, and I think he could see that, even if he hadn't wanted to admit it.

It was as I was searching for my notes that I came across the bracelet Jake had given me for my birthday. I'd accidentally knocked over one of the trinkets on my chest, the contents spilling forth to the floor. I held the silver piece of jewelry in my palm with an aching chest, my fingers running over the little charms that hung from the chain, remembering when he'd given it to me. How happy I'd been... how I'd still been thinking about another boy the whole time.

My mind made up, I jumped to my feet, sliding the chain inside my coat pocket as I slotted my arms through the sleeves, car keys hastily snatched into my hand as I headed for the front door.

The drive to the rez didn't take me long, but my nerves wouldn't let up, rising and falling like a boat out at sea, over and over.

I knew Jake probably wouldn't want to see me, but I couldn't take it anymore. The more I thought about it, the more I realized just how selfish I was being, forcing this on him. But at the same time I couldn't_ not_ try.

Upon cutting the engine I had a moment of self doubt, wondering if my presence was really a smart idea, especially considering the day I'd had. I wasn't sure I was ready, or was thinking clearly, but I took a deep breath and forced my legs to move. I was sure Jake or Billy had noticed my car by now anyway... if they were home, that was. I hadn't thought about that fact before driving over here, but Jake wasn't answering my calls, so I had no way of truly knowing anyhow.

I rapped my knuckles against the door in a steady succession of three, my feet all the while shuffling as nervous energy dictated my movements.

The door opened after a minute or so of anxious waiting, the hinges creaking in protest as the wheel of Billy's chair filtered into my line of sight. He was wearing his typical hat and denim jacket, looking more like a cowboy than those I'd seen on the TV.

I sucked in a deep breath, the exhale shaky. "Hi, Billy. Is Jake home?" I wondered, my hands finding their way into my coat pockets, brushing against the chain, reminding me why I was here as I tried to ward off the chill in the air.

He sucked in his lips in a thoughtful gesture, his face not unkind, a nod of his head soon following. "Come on in, Bella."

"Thanks," I said quietly as he maneuvered back a little, giving me enough room to enter. "Is he in his room?" I asked as he closed the door behind us, my gaze fixed firmly on the toe of my rain boot.

"Yeah, he's in there," he replied good naturedly. "Can you do me a favour, though?" he asked.

I gave a nod of my head in agreement. "Sure," I said.

"Just... go easy on him. He's been miserable for the past couple of weeks."

I swallowed heavily, feeling that stab of guilt in my tummy. "I know, I'm sorry."

He waved off my apology. "Come on now, there's no need for any of that. These things happen. I know it's hard to believe, but I was a teenager once. You're looking at a legendary heartbreaker," he grinned, jerking a thumb back at himself.

"I don't doubt it," I laughed. I'd heard a lot of stories over the years about what Billy had gotten up to at my age. "I'm just going to..." I pointed behind me, indicating I was going to find Jake when he stopped me with another question.

"How you doing, Bella?" he queried, eyes warm.

I exhaled, shoulders deflating. "I'm okay," I lied.

He gave me an accepting smile - the kind that expressed he knew I didn't want to talk about it - and patted my arm. "I'll give you guys some privacy." He nodded ahead. "Go on back."

"Thanks, Billy," I said gratefully.

He winked and made for the door, disappearing a few moments after.

The house fell silent apart from the ticking of the lone clock in the room, that nervous bubble threatening to keep me trapped; keep me immobile once more.

I gazed around the small space I'd sat in a lot over the years, familiarizing myself with the family portraits that were dotted about the wall in no particular fashion.

I wasn't sure if Jake would even talk to me, but delaying it wasn't going to help in any way. With that in mind, I turned right after exiting the living room and made my way down the small hallway to Jake's room.

His door was closed, and I debated for half a breath before knocking, my fingers gripping the handle tightly as I pushed it open. I knew I should have waited for an answer before going inside, but I was afraid of what that answer might be - afraid he wouldn't answer at all. So I went against my better judgment and didn't hesitate.

He was in the middle of sliding a hoodie over his head when he spotted me, his hair disheveled as his hands tried to right the wayward strands. I hadn't noticed it had grown until that moment, so caught up in Edward to realize the people around me had been changing.

"Hi," I said lamely, fingers twisting together nervously as I waited for him to say something.

He blinked lazily. "What are you doing here?" he asked, giving me another look before pushing past me. I swallowed heavily and followed after him, my legs having to work a lot faster than his to catch up.

"I wanted to talk to you," I answered, standing in the kitchen doorway as he pulled a carton of milk from the fridge.

He pulled at the top, bringing it to his mouth as he took a few gulps. He wiped his lips with the back of his hand, watching me all the while. "That's nice. But I really don't want to talk to you."

"I know you don't," I said. "I'm hoping you'll listen anyway."

He sighed, hands finding his pockets as he kicked the fridge door closed. "I need to go work on my bike," he said. "You can come if you want."

I nodded gratefully, following him outside as he strode over to the big wooden doors. He slid them open with practiced ease, flicking the light switch beside the door as he stepped inside, dodging bits of wood and scraps of metal.

"It's looking good," I said, indicating to the bike.

"Thanks," he mumbled, bending down to alter something at the tire.

I sucked in a deep breath, knowing the first thing I had to do was apologize. "I'm so sorry, Jake," I said, just getting it out there. "Sorry for lying to you... hurting you."

He paused in his ministrations, staring hard at the floor. "So I've been told," he said bluntly. He looked back at me and upon seeing my brows furrow, explained, "I had a visit from your _boyfriend_ last week."

My heart sped. "Edward was here?" I asked incredulously. I couldn't believe it. Was Jake telling me this to be cruel? I shook my head. _No_, that wasn't Jake's style.

His brows rose, his surprise evident. "He didn't tell you?"

I shook my head. "No," I answered lowly. "No, he never told me." If I was confused before, it was nothing to how I felt that very moment. Why wouldn't Edward tell me this?

I brought the heels of my palms to my eyes, feeling so broken-down inside.

"The fucker was telling the truth," he said lowly, more to himself than me, I think.

"What did he say?" I questioned, a lump forming in my throat.

He straightened himself up, grabbing some oil and a dust rag. "He told me I should forgive you," he informed me slowly. "And that if I wanted to be angry at someone, that I should be angry at him."

I couldn't get my head around Edward saying all this, my brain clouded and heart confused. "I didn't know he was going to do that," I said. "I'm sorry."

He sighed, giving up on his task as he faced me fully. "Look, Bella, I don't know what you want me to say here. You fucking lied to me for months."

"I know," I said, guilt washing over me.

He shook his head, his smile one of frustration as he rubbed the back of his head. "All you had to say was you'd met someone else. It would have sucked, but I would have gotten over it."

"I'm sorry," I said again, just wanting to repeat it over and over.

"Why'd you do it?" he asked, pinning me in place with his gaze. His eyes were dark and tinged with a sadness that ate away at me.

I cleared my throat. "Because I didn't want to like him," I admitted. "I wanted to like you."

"And did you?" he wondered, Adam's apple bobbing. "Did you like me?"

I nodded. "Of course I did. I love you Jacob... just not in the way we both want."

He scuffed his hands over his face. "You broke my heart," he said, laughing in that way that broke mine in the process.

"I never meant to hurt you," I said quickly. "I know how stupid that sounds, but I would never intentionally set out to do that. Ever. I just got caught up in something bigger than me and you."

He looked out the open doorway, a torn expression on his features. "I don't know what to think."

"I'm still your friend," I said thickly. "Even if you no longer want to be mine."

He focused his attention back on my face, eyes watery. "I don't think I could stop being your friend, Bella, even if I wanted to," he pushed out, my lips trembling, vision blurring. "But at the same time I don't think things will ever get back to the way they were."

I wiped the wetness from my cheeks, emotionally spent. "Do you think you'll ever forgive me?" I asked.

He rubbed at his own eyes, throat clearing as he shifted his body sideways, his palms landing on the cluttered workbench as he leaned over it. "I'm going to need some time," he answered, still not looking at me. "Then... I don't know. I hope so."

"Me too," I murmured selfishly.

He straightened back up, eyeing me and then the door. "Anyway, I need to get over to Embry's," he said, changing the subject, my cue to leave.

I wet my lips. "Okay," I said. "I'll..." I went to say I'd see him soon, but I didn't know if that was true.

I watched his chest expand, his lips part. "Bye, Bella," he finished for me, a small smile sent my way that slid through those cracks, a painful kind of maybe-hope blossoming.

I pushed my hair from my face, my sleeve tickling my forehead. "Bye, Jake," I said, giving him one last look before leaving.

The drive home was filled with promises and tears; the chatter of the radio and the wind in my face. Things weren't cut and dry, but they were better, even if not fully resolved. It was more than I deserved, and far more than I'd hoped.

I was exhausted, both mentally and physically as I trudged up the porch steps. The scent of clean laundry filled the house as I hung my coat by the door, a sigh passing through my lips as I noticed the trash bag I'd forgotten to take out earlier.

I was debating leaving it and crawling into bed, but reasoned with myself that it would only take a couple of minutes. Slipping my shoes back on, garbage in hand, I descended the steps, conscious of the untied laces hanging loosely at either side of my shoes. The sky was getting darker despite the early hour, grey clouds lingering ominously overhead, promising storm-like weather. I frowned, tripping slightly as I stumbled forward, my gaze quickly lowering once again. The last thing I needed to do was twist my ankle because I hadn't been paying attention to what I was doing.

I flipped the top of the trash can at the end of the driveway, heaving the bag and its contents inside a lot easier than I'd previously thought. My nose wrinkled as I quickly lowered the lid - the thing stank, reminding me why I usually avoided doing this chore at all costs. _Stupid boys and my inability to think clearly._

With a sigh I turned back around, my gaze immediately darting to the Cullen house next door, Edward's balcony door just about visible to the eye. I felt that accompanying twinge in my chest whenever I thought about him, my feet practically itching to move towards the house. Or more importantly - him. I bit the inside of my lip, indecision weighing down upon me like a stack of red coloured bricks. Was his hand okay? Had he gotten into trouble at school?

But before I could make a choice either way, I heard my name being called, the voice coming from behind me. I twisted to the side ever so slightly, brows lowered as I tried to seek out the owner. I spotted her quickly, my brows quickly _rising _this time as surprise registered itself within me. I didn't say anything in return, choosing to instead watch her advancement as she looked either side of the street before crossing it.

My mouth felt a little dry at her approach, sure she was going to give me a piece of her mind on how I'd handled things with Jacob. It wasn't totally unthinkable, I'd been expecting it. In fact, I was a little shocked she'd waited so long. She was wearing a short sleeved t-shirt despite the weather, the red striping setting off the dark colour of her hair. She'd had it cut a little shorter since I'd last seen her, and I couldn't help but wonder if she'd done it with someone else in mind. _Nothing to do with you anymore, Bella, remember._

Shaking off my errant thoughts, I focused on the fact she didn't look particularly angry or annoyed, the tension in my shoulders loosening just a little.

"Hey," she greeted, crossing her arms over her chest. I wouldn't say she looked awkward, but she definitely appeared to be uncomfortable. That made two of us.

"Hi," I said in return, pushing the hair from my face.

Her eyes darted off to the side, to the very house I had just previously been looking at, a slight frown marring her features. "Can we talk?" she wondered, refocusing her attention back on me.

"Sure," I agreed with a nod. She took a few steps forward and I copied her movement until I was seated beside her on the top step of my porch, that nervous energy back again.

"Jake said you went to see him earlier," she started and I could only nod in response while staring at my shoes. "He seems a little better... still upset though," she added as an afterthought.

"I know," I murmured, recounting that look in his eye that continued to flood me with guilt.

I felt her shift beside me, drawing my gaze to her face. "He also mentioned that Edward went to see him last week."

The shock of that statement settled itself inside of me for the second time that day. I'd only found out an hour or so before, sure Jacob had been lying at the time, and was wondering why she was bringing this up now.

"So I've been told," I said, pinching one of my laces between my fingers.

This was the most we'd ever said to each other at one time. To say it felt odd was an understatement. I didn't dislike her, I just didn't understand her. Our parents were dating and unlike Seth, she'd never approached the subject with me once.

And I still couldn't get a read on her now as she gazed at me head on. "You want to talk about Edward?" I wondered, confused. I'd been waiting for a lecture that didn't look like it was coming.

She didn't seem nonplussed by me in the slightest though, appearing confident in her appraisal. "A little, yeah."

I'd wanted to ask her about their history so many times, but I'd never expected her to willingly come forward like this. "Why?" I asked, interest sparked.

"Because I want to clear a few things up," she replied slowly, a little hesitation to her words. "I'm sure you've heard a number of things from Jacob?" she questioned with raised brows.

"I have," I agreed. It felt weird discussing Edward with her, jealousy creeping in like ivy as it wound around anything in sight. I didn't want to think of him with anyone else, even if it had been in the past. I wanted to say I knew him better... but did I?

I felt some sort of ownership that I had no right to, especially considering our current status. And knew I was being ridiculous, knew I should stop these types of thoughts before they turned everything to an acrid yellow, but I couldn't help it. Everything with him was still so real, so raw.

"It's all bullshit," she said unwaveringly, but not harshly, her eyes focusing ahead as she seemed to gaze at nothing in particular.

That instantly garnered my attention. "So you guys never... hooked up or whatever?" I asked carefully, hoping she wouldn't take offense.

She shook her head, not appearing angry. "No. Never."

I frowned, lips forming a hard line as I thought that over. I was ultimately relieved more than anything, that awkwardness fleeing like a flock of birds with her admittance. But then that rumour had at least made sense... to a degree. Edward's history with girls was unquestionable, even if not as bad as everyone outwardly thought. It was still bad enough though.

And yet, if they hadn't been hooking up, just what had they been doing?

"Oh. So you were just friends?" I queried, taking a peek at her through my lashes. I couldn't imagine Edward being _just friends_ with someone as pretty as Leah.

She sighed. "Sort of. We knew each other a little before I'd actually moved here, which I'm sure you already know about anyway," she said lightly.

I stopped short. "Wait," I interrupted, the word coming out swiftly. "He's never said..." I let my sentence die off. It became apparent to me I really didn't know everything about Edward as I thought I did.

She looked a little surprised as my confusion sank in, my features no doubt registering my perplexity. "We lived on the same street growing up... in Chicago," she clarified after a few seconds.

"No one's ever mentioned anything to me," I murmured, bewildered as to why they'd keep that a secret.

She picked at her nails, the black polish coating them chipped in some places. "They probably wouldn't," she shrugged. "We weren't close or anything."

"But Edward obviously recognized you when you moved here," I stated.

She licked her lips. "Yeah, I think so. We said hi to each other, but that was about it." She cut me a glance. "Like I said, we weren't close."

I was finding it hard to understand where she was going with this. She said they were friends but they weren't close, and yet they'd spent a good amount of time with each other.

Edward wasn't the sort of person to hang out randomly like that just for shits and giggles. He was mainly a private person, and Leah... well, what I'd guessed from the brief moments I'd been around her, she seemed to be that way, too.

Pressing on, I said, "That obviously changed though. I heard you were pretty inseparable for a while."

She turned her focus away again then, her hands resting in her lap as she gazed up at the sky. "He helped me a lot," she said softly. "Even when I didn't even realize I needed it."

I felt a sudden shift in her demeanour, her face cracking its composed facade just a little.

I wanted nothing more than to ask her what he'd helped her with, but something was holding me back. I suddenly felt intrusive - maybe it was the slight change in her features, or the way she'd grown silent - but it stopped my mouth from forming the words it so desperately wanted to.

"I had an abortion," she told me quietly, my thoughts dashed away like an eraser on a chalkboard.

My mind went blank, my mouth opening without anything coming out. I had no idea what I could - or should - say to that. I was shocked, and hurt for her. And even though she was a couple of years older than I was, she was still so young. That couldn't have been an easy decision to make, let alone go through.

So, instead of pushing her to clarify, I gave her time to gather her thoughts, figuring if she wanted to continue, she would. This wasn't an easy conversation to have, and as I saw her grip her hands together in her lap, knuckles turning pale, I knew she was finding it hard.

I debated for a few more seconds before silently sliding my hand over to rest on hers, letting her know I was there, and that it was okay - that she didn't have to say anything she didn't want to.

"My dad had just died and I was in a bad place," she started, choosing her words carefully. "I was always a daddy's girl, never really having ever been that close with my mom. And when he passed away... I just shut off... shut everyone out. I started spending more time at my cousin, Emily's house," she recounted.

"And with that, came Sam."

I could see where this was going, and my heart instantly started to break for this girl. I hardly knew her, but it didn't matter. I squeezed her fingers in response.

"He was home a lot at the time, busy setting up plans to open his own garage. He always treated me differently than Paul or Jake, treated me less like a buddy and more..." she took a deep breath, "well, just _more_. And I knew then that I should have backed away, that I was getting myself into a situation that was going to end in tears, but I was hurting... and he made me feel better. He listened and sometimes was just there when I needed a familiar face - someone that wasn't my immediate family, someone that wasn't falling apart like I was."

The trees surrounding the house started to creak, the wind shaking the leaves and branches.

"I fell in love," she said, her voice suddenly weak, a contradiction to the grip she was keeping on her own hands. "The more time I spent with him, the deeper I fell. And sometimes I'd catch him looking at me - just looking - keeping my gaze even after I caught him out, never backing down or looking away. And I started to wonder if he knew how I felt, never once considering he may have liked me like that. I mean, he was married. He was in love with Emily. The fact that he felt the same way never entered my head," she said.

"And then one night Emily had to work late and I was having a particularly bad day. He was there with supportive words and a warm chest, and the next thing I knew we were both lying on the couch naked."

Neither one of us said anything for a few seconds, Leah lost to her own memories. And as I thought more about her situation, I could easily see how this could have happened. Falling for someone you shouldn't... it happened to everyone at some point, I think. The only difference was that not everyone acted on those impulses. Did it make us a bad person? Yes. No. Maybe. Even asking myself that question was hard enough.

Every situation was different and while we all judge, unless we're ever the one in that situation, I don' think we can't possibly understand it. And while the cases were completely different, and less intense, starting a relationship with Edward while continuing to hold on to Jacob... it hit me all over again just how wrong I'd been. And yet... I couldn't regret it. I think that was what was so hard to deal with, my inner moral compass.

Her hands shifted, and I drew my own back to my side. I wasn't sure if she was going to say anything more, but she spoke up, gaining my full attention again.

"I want to say that was the only time," she continued, "but it wasn't. It carried on for a few months - I was too far gone at that point to stop. Every time I looked at Emily, I hated myself, hated what we were doing, but at the same time I loved him. And I'm pretty sure he felt the same way, even though he never really told me. I was sure he'd said it one afternoon as I was attempting to sleep, but I can't be sure. It could have been just me wishing it, wanting it desperately," she told me, continuing to avoid looking at my face. "I started becoming jealous, too, this sick and twisted jealousy over something I had no right to be envious over. Sam wasn't mine, not really, but it didn't stop me wanting him to be. I couldn't go home to Seth and Mom - so, so selfish - and yet I was finding it hard to stay in that house with them. The evenings were the worst when they both disappeared together. I never once said anything to Sam about it though, keeping everything bottled inside of me instead, one day away from exploding."

I watched her pull in a deep breath, nails digging into the sides of her thighs.

"That day came when I found out I was pregnant."

My throat felt tight, guilt smacking me in the face at every slightly negative thought I'd ever had about her. Part of me wanted to fade away, not hear what I knew I was moments away from hearing. But I stayed exactly where I was. It became apparent to me that maybe she wanted to get this all out, speak about it.

"The full scale of what I'd - what _we'd_ - been doing became all too real, completely inescapable," she said as she tucked her hair behind her ears. "I was scared and not excited like I knew another girl in my position may have been. I wanted it gone, knowing it was going to change things."

She finally turned to look at me. "Do you think I'm awful saying that?" she asked me, watching me with open dark eyes.

"No," I answered her honestly.

"But doesn't every girl secretly dream of becoming a mother someday?" she said, her face showing the torment embedded behind her question.

I licked my lips, focusing on the lace of my right shoe as I wound it tightly around my finger. "Not every girl," I replied. "I mean, do _I_ want kids someday? Sure. But every single one of us is different. We all have our own wants and dreams. We're just human, Leah. That's all. Our own person."

She tilted her head towards the ground, to a leaf that kept drifting back and forth between the two of us. "I used to think that maybe that could be me," she said. "I'd sit up all night just thinking, constantly worrying about what I was going to do. Then I'd notice the way my hands instinctively curled around my stomach at night - even though there was nothing there - that _maybe_ becoming a little stronger. But as soon as I told Sam, I realized I'd been being stupid. I couldn't be that girl. I was pregnant with someone else's husband's baby - my_ cousin's _husband. And the fear on Sam's face that day... it cracked the shell I'd been keeping myself holed up in. He didn't want that baby, he told me as much. He was terrified. It was then I realized I couldn't carry on living like that. Maybe he loved me, maybe he didn't, but it would never be enough," she said.

"And Emily... it would have killed her - destroyed her happiness. And even though it sounds so twisted after what I'd been doing, I couldn't do that to her... I just couldn't. So we both agreed I'd just get rid of it. And the following week, I did."

She recounted the words so easily, but the emotions buried in her eyes were there for anyone to see. It was obvious just how much it had affected her... was _still _affecting her.

The wind tousled our hair. "I didn't realize just how much I actually wanted that baby until it was no longer there."

Tears blurred my vision, stinging like sea water. "I'm so sorry, Leah," I said softly. "So very sorry."

She momentarily turned her face in the opposite direction, and I looked away, giving her privacy, her moment. It didn't last long, and she quickly cleared her throat, carrying on with her story. "And then, one sunny Sunday afternoon, Edward found me sobbing in the unused car lot next to the old school. I was sitting against the wheel of my car, and he knelt down and asked me if I was okay, to which I told him to fuck off. He took absolutely no notice of my words though and slid down next to me, talking about a load of random shit, like how his brother had just broken a window while playing baseball in the house, and tried blaming it on the cat next door. And how his friend, Ben had ruined his mother's garden by vomiting in her roses after smoking too much pot. And I don't know why I did it, I just wanted someone to tell I think, so I sat there and spilled my guts to some boy I didn't really know. It was then he told me a little about his mother's miscarriage, and I felt like shit, the guilt eating away at me as I sobbed all over again. So many people lose their babies and I _chose_ to do that. He soon snapped me out of that though, and told me to stop feeling sorry for myself. He was kind of a prick if I'm being honest, but it worked. And we started hanging out, mostly just talking or watching TV or something. He said I should talk to his parents, that maybe they could help me more with what I was going through. And they did help. Carlisle gave me a number of someone at the hospital, a therapist if you will, and Esme was there for me when I finally told my mother. No one but Edward knows about Sam though. And I guess, you, now, too," she added, looking back at me.

"I won't say anything," I promised, even though she hadn't asked me to profess any such thing. "Your secrets are your own to tell."

She didn't say thank you and I didn't expect her to. I was curious about one thing though. "Have you never thought about telling Jake?"

Her eyes snapped back to mine. "No, not even when I was desperate for someone to talk to. Never."

"Why?" I asked stupidly. "He'd want to help."

She smiled sadly. "And that's the problem. I don't want it, or need it," she said. "I'm well aware of my mistakes, Bella, and I don't feel sorry for myself. I hate any kind of pity. And I know he'd give it, and be so angry. He's idolized Sam for as long as I can remember. I won't tarnish that image for him. Plus, even though I trust him completely, it's that trust that would eventually lead him to accidentally blurting it in the wrong place at the wrong time."

"So why are you telling me?" I questioned. "We don't really know each other."

She regarded me with a cool expression, gaze appraising. "Because Edward helped me out once upon a time and now I'm returning the favour."

"What makes you think he needs help?" I asked, curious to what she'd say.

"He looks like someone has kicked his puppy," she said, brushing the bottom of her jeans with her fingers. "It doesn't take a genius to figure out you had something to do with it."

I looked away. "Why would you say that?"

She sighed. "Because I'm not an idiot."

She'd been honest with me, and even though I didn't want to say anything, I couldn't _not_ - not after she'd just shared what she had.

"It was just a stupid break up," I said lowly. "We weren't even really together."

"It doesn't seem like it was nothing to me," she responded knowingly.

I felt uncomfortable discussing this with her. Not because it was difficult or painful, but because in light of what she'd just told me, it was nothing. Simply stupid teen drama... even if it did feel as if I was never going to stop wanting to cry every second of the day.

"That boy is in love with you. I could see it written all over his face the first time I saw the two of you together... On yours too. And that was _last year_." Her voice was filled with so much confidence when she said this. I was getting tired of other people telling me Edward felt that way. If it was true, then surely he would have told me himself by now?

My hair tickled my cheeks as I shook my head. "He didn't love me then... doesn't love me now."

"Don't be so naive, Bella," she said bluntly. "Boys don't chase girls they don't want."

"He's chased plenty of girls," I reminded her, the words leaving a bitter taste in my mouth that I quickly pushed aside.

"Did he? Or did they chase him?" she pointed out. "Think about it."

I felt a frown crease my face, images of girls flocking to him forming a slide show in my head. But then he hadn't batted their attention away... not always... only since meeting me.

"That look means nothing," I said, answering an earlier statement.

She fixed with me a pointed stare. "That look is something I have to witness every time my cousin looks at her husband," she responded, my heart aching for her all over again, not that I'm sure it ever stopped. The pain of having to go through all of that alone... or maybe not completely alone - she had Edward for a time. But, still, nothing could ever replace your family. "I know that look," she continued, "so don't let it get away."

I felt my throat close up, eyes feeling itchy as they began to fill with water. Everything soon became a blur and I quickly swiped at my lids and lashes before anything could come of it.

"I should get going," she said, frowning as she looked back across the street to her house. "I promised I'd help Seth with his calculus homework." She pushed herself off the step, jogging down the remaining few until her feet hit the pavement.

I got to my feet and brushed off my butt. "Will I see you for dinner over here tomorrow night?" I asked. "Charlie's apparently cooking, so you may want to eat beforehand if you're coming." My nose wrinkled as I thought of his last attempt at making dinner.

An almost smile played across her mouth. "Maybe."

"Okay," I nodded. "And Leah?" I called, watching as she tilted her head to the side to look back at me. "Thanks for sharing that with me... before."

"I didn't do it for you."

I nodded, not offended. "I know."

Just then the heavens opened and the rain that had been threatening all day began to fall in heavy droplets. I held up a hand - to which she half returned - before we both retreated into our own homes.

After my talk with Leah it became impossible to settle. An hour had passed - an hour in which I had done nothing but pace from room to room, Edward a constant in my thoughts. Everything she'd told me, everything Jake had mentioned, they all merged together with my own wants and feelings, my own version of Edward.

Each minute that passed pushed me closer to the front door, my heart screaming at me to go to him. My love wasn't going anywhere, it was still there, impossible to ignore.

I'd been pushing my feelings aside, determined I wouldn't be _that_ girl. But Edward wasn't bad... he was just a boy who sometimes made stupid choices. Everyone did. And I wasn't naive, I knew he had his flaws, that he wasn't perfect, but then neither was I. We were both selfish in our own ways, both infuriatingly stubborn, so much so we'd screwed up time and time again, ruining things for ourselves.

In some respects, maybe I was stupid. Maybe we both were. But I couldn't regret it. I'd fallen in love. He was everything to me; everything I wanted. And in the end, what else was there?

My feet were out the door before I'd fully realized where I was going, the door slamming shut behind me as I ran down the steps, coat forgotten, laces still loose, head uncaring.

Rain stung my cheeks, the drops like ice on my skin, my feet almost slipping twice in my haste, adrenaline snapping through my veins like lightening.

I was halfway down his driveway when my whole body came to an abrupt stop, my breath a cloud of milky white in the air. I was drenched; my hair was stuck to my cheeks and my chest ached as I tried to pull in breath after breath.

Edward stood before me, in about the same state of dress I was, as if he'd just run out of the house on impulse.

He carried on walking, his form an inky blur every time the rain clouded my vision. He must have been freezing, standing there in nothing but a t-shirt and jeans - at least my shirt had sleeves.

"Where's your coat?" he blurted, a frown marring his features.

"At home. It wasn't something I felt was important," I said.

He wiped the wet from his face. "Anything that can keep you from getting sick is important, Bella."

That damn lump was back in my throat. "Not in comparison to you," I breathed out, my admission seeming so loud.

His lips parted, Adam's apple bobbing. "We'll have to agree to disagree, then."

"How's your hand?" I wondered, glancing down, unable to really see any damage.

"It's fine," he answered.

"And school?" I prodded.

"After school detention for two weeks," he replied, taking another step towards me.

"What are you doing out here?" I asked. I couldn't seem to stop asking stupid questions.

He gazed back at me between rain darkened lashes. "I was coming to see you," he answered, his admission making my heart stutter.

"Why?" I wondered.

I could see the hesitation on his face and my hope wilted, a dying flower, petals falling, tinged at the edges with ugliness.

He shoved his hands in his pockets, gaze drifting back to his house.

"It doesn't matter," I said, that happiness I'd felt moments before sailing high above me like a bright coloured balloon.

"Because I love you!" he suddenly shouted, the air escaping my lungs as I stood there staring back at him with a startled expression.

I felt like I'd stop breathing. "Stop it," I said.

His brow furrowed, his lips catching raindrops as he spoke. "Stop what?"

"Lying," I answered, feeling the tears well in my eyes.

His face tilted to the sky, rain sliding down his pale skin. "Jesus Christ."

"Say it again."

He looked back at me. "Why are you so demanding?"

"Just say it."

His expression cracked; pain and tenderness... soft. "I fucking love you, alright?" he said, his palms cradling my face. "Do you want me to say it again? I love you - the freckles across your nose that become prominent in the hot weather, that thing you do with your hair when you're frustrated; the colour of your lips after I've spent hours kissing them. I love it all. You. Everything."

I was thankful for the rain as a few tears escaped the corner of my eyes, hoping one would become the other and he wouldn't notice. It was all I'd wanted to hear, and my heart felt like it was going to burst wide open.

"Really?" I asked.

He pressed his forehead to mine, his breath warming my lips. "Always."

I gripped his wet t-shirt tightly, pulling him closer, trying to tear the pain away. "Don't hurt me like that again," I pleaded, my words shaky.

He swallowed hard. "I'm going to try really hard not to."

He took a step back, my hands not wanting to let go as one of his rested on my chest, over my heart. "This is still mine, right?" he asked, his eyes punishing and overwhelming, his expression completely open, vulnerable.

I nodded, repeating his answer from earlier. "Always."

"That's all I wanted to hear." Then his lips were on mine, and I was in his arms, balancing on tip-toes as I kissed the boy I loved in the rain.

My grip on his hair must have been painful, but he said nothing, and I didn't think I could have loosened my hold even if I wanted to. I felt desperate; scared he'd change his mind, scared it wasn't real.

But then he picked me up, and we were moving, and he was whispering the sweetest words against my lips - it was then I knew I was seeing stars and not imagining them.

I recognized my house as he carried me up the porch steps, my back hitting the door as he slipped forward.

A laugh bubbled from my chest as he refused to stop kissing me, even as he fumbled with the handle, and again when attempting to close the door once we were inside.

"I can walk you know," I whispered, biting at his lip.

He groaned, his hands squeezing my thighs. "I know," he replied, still not putting me down.

We somehow managed to make it up the stairs without falling, my bedroom door crashing into the wall as it flung open. Only then did he set me on my feet.

I kissed him eagerly, making up for lost time, my hands frantically tugging at his hair as a groan reverberated in his throat. My hand slid down his chest, pausing over his heart, wondering if it was beating just as wildly as mine, when he abruptly pulled away.

My eyes shot open, breath harsh as I went to ask him what was wrong, trepidation blooming like a plant in the sun. A little crease had formed between his brows, and I was worried he'd changed his mind, but then his lips were back - just as enthusiastic - putting an immediate stop to anything I was about to say.

He pressed his hips to mine, his hands at my jaw, tilting my face just how he wanted.

And I didn't care. This was what I wanted - him, always _him_.

"Bella," he breathed, pulling away just enough to catch his breath. I shook - nothing to do with the after effects of getting caught in the rain - shivers attacking me inside and out.

My thumb brushed his lips. "I know," I whispered, lashes fluttering as he kissed my cheeks, my nose - an invisible path only outlined to him - back to my mouth.

He pressed forward again, my back meeting the wall as his tongue pushed through my parted lips. A moan hummed between us - his, mine, it didn't matter. I was just happy he was here, that I was his and he wanted me.

I felt his fingers at the buttons of my shirt, impatience and need and love bubbling up inside of me as I fought the urge to help him. But then he was shifting his hips and my mind suddenly cleared of everything else once more.

It was like a game; tease and touch and speak and kiss. I loved it. Loved _him_.

I went to tell him this, but my lip was abruptly being pulled, following his teeth as he sucked my bottom one into his mouth.

His teeth tugged, his lids opening halfway as he focused on the descent of his fingertips as they brushed against my skin every time a button became loose.

A shiver immediately rippled through me, the cold finally registering fully as my hair continued to drip. It made him momentarily pause.

"You're freezing," he frowned, reaching for the discarded sweater on my chair as he used it to wipe over my face and hair, indecision suddenly registering on his face.

"I'm fine," I insisted, reaching for his t-shirt as I peppered kisses along his jaw. "I'll be warm soon enough."

My fingers lingered on the waistband of his jeans as I playfully nipped at his chin, his chest deflating swiftly as he exhaled a shaky breath.

"I love you," he said again, his hands sliding around my hips as I brought my eyes to his. His expression was unguarded, a little fear shining through: I wanted to kiss all those anxieties away.

My heart pounded crazy inside my chest like the banging of a steel drum. "Show me," I said, my throat feeling tight as I watched him watch me.

The sound of the rain hitting the glass suddenly became fierce, like marbles thrashing against each other as his hands slipped underneath the fabric covering my shoulders. He pushed my shirt down my arms determinedly, the cotton wanting to stay stuck to my skin instead. _He_ won.

I took a step back, watching as he gripped the back of his own shirt, pulling it forward over his head, causing his hair to stick up further. And as I took in his bare chest, I realized just how much I'd missed this... the _anticipation_ - skin on skin and hearts on fire.

Edward took my hand, fingers squeezing reassuringly as he lead me in the direction of the bed. I sat down on the edge, scooting backwards as his knee pressed down on the mattress between my thighs, feeling anything but nervous. He hovered over me, eyes briefly scanning my body appreciatively before meeting my own gaze.

My face and chest immediately felt too warm and I was sure I'd stop breathing. The look on his face was unimaginable... but then - no. He was here and I could see him. It was _real_. Imaginable. Just for me.

He linked his fingers with mine, my arms stretching up above my head, unfolding my body, trapping me.

"You're so beautiful," he murmured, his lips brushing the edge of my mouth, setting my body alight.

He wasted no time in pushing down the cups of my bra, my breathing changing as his lips and tongue left a warm and wet trail to my newly exposed skin.

My lips parted as he kissed my nipples, my fingers squeezing his as the sensation coursed through my body. I started to squirm, my thighs unconsciously pressing together as his right hand left the confines of mine, his touch feathering down my stomach to the clasp of my jeans. He flicked the button open with one hand after a few tries, his lips momentarily leaving me as I lifted my hips off the bed, eager for him to remove the damp denim from my skin. His fingers dug into the waistband and pulled until they fell to the floor.

The sky continued to grow darker outside, but my focus was solely on Edward, his hands sliding up my legs, knees spread as he ran kisses along the inside of my thighs. The light layer of stubble on his jaw tickled the sensitive skin, my legs wanting to close against the onslaught.

I tugged on his arms, imploring him back to me; my lips, my kisses. Heart pounding in anticipation, I reached for his zipper, his breath warm against my neck as he bent his head to kiss the skin below my ear. I could feel him hard against my fingers as I struggled to free him of his jeans, his lips and tongue distracting as they traced invisible patterns against my throat. Hands swiftly made work of my bra, his fumbling attempts paying off as the straps slid the rest of the way down my arms, goose bumps following.

He suddenly paused, a shuddering sigh leaving his mouth as my hand slid into his boxers. "Bella," he said hoarsely, thrusting into my touch.

"Jeans... _off_," I breathed out, gasping when his fingers stroked me through my underwear. He complied easily, both of us hastily pushing the denim off his hips and down his legs, boxers soon following.

My eyes were glued to his as his thumbs slipped under the elastic of my underwear, stroking soft circles against my skin; teasing and loving and setting me on fire. Soon it was just skin on skin, nothing between us as he remembered my body with his hands and lips, green eyes taking everything in, reverent and wanting.

I no longer cared about aching hearts and tear-filled eyes; they were overshadowed by the sweetest words coming from the boy who ruled them all.

Whimpers filled the air around us as he slipped a finger inside me, curling and making my chest rise and fall in rapid movements.

Fingers gone, replaced with _him_ as he slid against me, forehead resting against mine as he moaned loudly. "I don't have anything with me," he said, his voice grainy, filled with need.

I shook my head. "We don't..." I broke off, my eyes momentarily squeezing shut. I didn't either, but I'd been on the pill for the past two years. We were fine. And I trusted Edward. "It's fine."

I looked up at his face, his eyes dark, shining coal in the half light of the room. "You sure?" he choked out, kissing me once on the lips.

Fingers tracing lips and cheeks - his eyebrows - and, "Yeah, I'm sure."

With his mouth inches from mine he pushed inside. "Fuck," he said breathlessly, pushing up on his elbows, Adam's apple bobbing as he watched himself fill me.

I gripped his arms, back arching, teeth pressing down on my lip. He felt so good; boy and love and consume, consume, consume.

He lowered himself back down after a while, the feeling of his skin against mine the best feeling in the world. In _my_ world. His focus was back on me, my face, watching for signs of what felt good.

"I love you," I whispered, his movements steady.

His lips met my forehead, brushing down my nose. "I love you, too."

I wanted to be closer, show him, something different. I pushed against his shoulder until he sat back a little, surprise marring his features. I kept my hand there, applying a little more pressure and he soon caught on, twisting, lowering his back to the bed as I climbed over his thighs, one leg on either side, my hands reaching for him once more. I positioned him where we both needed to feel, sliding down, lashes falling closed and lips parting.

His fingers dug into my hips as he helped me move, showing me what felt good. Over and over, I became lost in him, in the feelings traveling all through my body as he pushed and pulled - aching bliss.

I feathered my fingertips over his chest, his breath loud, hitting my lips as I leaned forward, changing the angle. He squeezed my ass, walls clenching, resulting in lengthy groans that tore from his throat.

I loved hearing him, the noises he made, the noises he brought out of me. He was looking at me like he never had, or maybe I just hadn't noticed before, hadn't known what to look for. It simultaneously made my heart swell and my hips move faster.

Trembling fingers slid to his stomach, fingertips punishing as he thrust up into me. "Shit, Bella, I can't..." he groaned, voice tight. "... I can't hold on," he said regretfully.

Watching Edward let go like that was something I'd never tire of. Neck muscles straining, mouth open, brows drawn, eyes moving from where we were joined right to me. He shook, a moan leaving his mouth as I felt him twitch inside of me. I was breathing heavily, holding still - and then his arms were suddenly around me, face planted into my chest as he tried to calm his own breathing. I clung right back, nose in his hair, our chests warm, the nape of his neck damp with sweat.

His hands pushed the hair from my face, fingers tangling themselves into my hair as I let my right hand drop to his chest, over his heart.

He swallowed heavily. "I'm sorry for hurting you time and time again. So, so sorry."

I shook my head. "Don't," I murmured. "It's over."

His lips met mine in a slow kiss as he rolled us over, hovering over me once more. And then his fingers were right there, making me squirm in the best of ways.

He gave me kiss after kiss, from my cheeks to my breasts, tangling tongues and tugging teeth.

And lastly, my mouth, as I started to whimper, my hips moving back against his hand as his tongue swirled with mine. Everything tensed and then I was trembling, letting go, sensitive and soaring.

He lay down beside me, face to face, pulling me close, arms around me as he gazed back at me. I smiled, my eyes struggling to stay open as fatigue weighed over me like an enticing, fluffy cloud. He held me, whispering his feelings against my skin, intermittent with kisses.

And in the comfort of his arms I started to drift, sleep beckoning, and it wasn't long until I fell asleep, happy and content, the exhaustion of the day winning out.

…

I woke to distracting fingers as they traced invisible circles against my tummy. "Wake up."

I was sleepy and too comfy to move, but I decided to tease him nonetheless. "Ted, is that you?" I mumbled lowly, sleep tingeing my voice.

He sighed. "Fucking Ted."

I bit my lip, a silent laugh shaking my shoulders as I covertly turned my face into the pillow.

Another minute passed. "Are you awake?" he wondered.

My smile was still in place. "No." It came out muffled.

"Hmm," he hummed, kissing the back of my shoulder. "I think you are."

I yawned, unable to hold it in. "You're imagining things."

"I don't think so... I mean, don't get me wrong, I've imagined these _a lot_," he said, his hand moving from my stomach to my boob. "But you aren't fooling me, Isabella Swan."

I laughed. "Ooh, the full name. Am I in trouble?"

"Do you want to be?" he asked.

I turned over to face him, his hand now resting on my bare hip. "Maybe," I said. He smirked.

"I think that can be arranged," he said, kissing my cheek once, twice, over and over until I was giggling for him to stop.

"I love that sound," he said, playing with my hair.

I felt warm all over. "I love _you_."

He gave me that heart stopping smile. "I love you, too."

A future cheek-hurting smile of my own formed on my lips - I didn't think I was ever going to tire of hearing him say that.

"What now?" I wondered.

His gaze dipped to my mouth. "Whatever you want."

I shifted under his attention. "No more hiding?"

I was rewarded with my favourite shade of green. "Wanna go steady, Bella?" he smirked.

"You've been watching old movies with, Em, again haven't you?" I teased, tracing his right brow.

"Maybe," he hedged, his cheeks pink.

"Are you going to _pin_ me, too?" I asked, referencing an old time tradition.

He laughed. "Oh yeah, I'm going to pin you."

He rolled over, covering me with his weight, tickling me until his hands moved in a different way, laughter morphing into breathless pleas and wanting lips.

There were still things we needed to talk about, still things we had to work out, but they could wait.

A rainy afternoon had brought us together, just like all those months before. But this time there were no harsh words or confusing impulses, only love and warmth and fingers mapping out skin.

With each touch leading straight back to my heart.

* * *

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**VHL xx**


	40. Chapter 40

**Hey everyone! Here we are, w****e've finally reached the end of this story. I'm so nervous and excited and heartbroken. lol**

** I'm going to leave all my thanks in the A/N at the bottom, so I'll meet you down there. ;]**

**There will be a small epi following this chapter in a few days. But until then, let's get to it.**

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns Twilight and all its characters. **

* * *

Edward

Something snuggled into my side and I pulled it closer, crushing it to my chest, liking its warmth. It made a noise and I unconsciously hummed back, the sound rumbling in my throat without much effort.

Consciousness eventually started to sneak through the thick fog of sleep and I yawned lazily, my mouth dry as I tried to wet my lips. Exhaling though my nose I cracked an eye open, surprised to be met with a dark room, the only light coming from the bare window and the moon beyond the glass.

My eyes finally adjusted to the dark and I blinked a few times in succession, attempting to remove the sleep from the inner corners of my lids without having to use my hands. It was then that I became fully aware of the form pressed against me. _Bella_. Her face was warm against my chest, her breathing soft, prickling my skin. A tangle of brown waves blocked my view of her face and I gently lifted my arm from her waist to push the strands aside, being careful not to wake her in the process.

I was met with slightly puckered lips and still lashes, long and dark at the very rounds of her cheeks. A smile formed slowly at my mouth as I wondered what she was dreaming about - if she was even dreaming at all - and if it was about me.

The rain had stopped and all I could hear was the sound of her even breaths, the soft lilt threatening to lull me back to sleep once more.

Today had been... indescribable. After our fight at school I was sure I had blown things with her completely. And on top of that, I'd been given two weeks after school detention starting Monday. I'd rumpled the slip into a ball and thrown it at my bedroom wall before fisting my hair, pacing for what felt like hours before finally throwing the door open and stepping out into the rain.

I couldn't stop thinking about the mess I'd created, her tearful gaze and passion-filled pleas tearing me up inside. I hated making her cry; hated that even upon seeing those tears I'd just stood there dumbly, drowning in my own hurt and stupidity.

She'd actually left, gone home... _I'd_ driven her to that.

I had to stop myself so many times from walking out of my remaining classes during the hours that followed, knowing I didn't need to get into any more shit at school. My parents were already going to be disappointed in me. Especially for fighting - Mom had only just given me a warning for the last time.

It still didn't squash those feelings though, those desperate impulses suffocating. I wanted to apologize and ask her to give me another chance... ask her if she was still mine.

I was tired of hiding how I truly felt, finally ready to just _go there_. And when I did... it had scared the shit out of me, the words just flying out of my mouth in a rush. But the look on her face had eclipsed anything else I may have been feeling. I became a part of her happiness and thought _fuck it_. It was all worth it... especially to see her smile and have her in my arms and kiss her like I wanted, missing her mouth and her warmth - just _her_ - to the point it had been driving me crazy.

And since then, in a completely backwards turn of events, I couldn't seem to stop telling her I loved her, liking how it felt when I did, the words passing through my lips more times than I could remember. And that was only in the last few hours alone.

Whenever she repeated them back to me... I liked that, too. It was actually kind of sickening in a completely non-sickening way.

I laughed lightly, holding back a groan as I squeezed my eyes shut - I was making no sense.

Part of me was afraid I was going to turn into one of those guys that phoned their girlfriends a hundred times a day and left creepy gifts on her pillow, like flower petals in an array of different shades of pink. I knew that would freak me out if someone kept letting themselves into my room without permission to make my sheets smell like a flower.

My fingers unconsciously started playing with her hair and I bent my head a little to kiss her forehead, her lashes fluttering as I pulled away.

It was then that I heard it: someone pulling into the driveway below her window. The luminous numbers on the clock beside her bed suddenly seemed to jump out at me, and I froze, every muscle tensing as I held my breath. _When had it gotten so late?_

I twisted my head a little in the hopes it would improve my hearing, almost wanting to cup my hand around my ear as if that would actually make a difference, eyes widening when the engine died and a car door slammed shut. Or more precisely, the door to Chief Swan's cruiser - I'd had enough incidents over the last _however many_ months to recognize that sound by heart.

I breathed out a quiet 'fuck' and shook Bella's shoulder, no longer concerned with letting her sleep.

"No," she groaned, all sleep-filled voice and wrinkled brows. "I'm tired."

I whipped the duvet from us, eyes momentarily distracted by the sight of Bella naked on the sheets before jumping to my feet, remembering her father owned a gun.

"What the hell?" she whined, her hair a mess about her face as she attempted to pull the covers back blindly, head still on the pillow. "It's freezing. Get back into bed."

She made a compelling argument and I almost considered hiding in her closet until her father went to sleep, but I knew he'd most likely check on her first considering he'd been gone at work all day. Plus, I was sure he had some sort of weird cop vibe and would sense there was a boy present... somewhere. Call me crazy, but I didn't want to stick around in nothing but my underwear and one sock to test that theory.

"Get dressed," I urged, trying to ignore the fact that she'd been staring at my own mostly naked form the whole time I searched for my clothes on the floor - she was making it difficult to concentrate.

She sat up, features showing her confusion, lips plump with sleep. "Why?" she mumbled, eyes watering as she yawned.

I pulled my shirt over my head, trying not to grimace at the feel of the damp fabric against my skin, my words muffled as she disappeared from my line of sight. "Because your dad just got home and I'm pretty sure he'll kill me if he finds me in your room like this while you're sitting there with all your clothes off."

I pulled the cotton from my face, looping my arms through the sleeves as fast as I could, almost laughing out loud at the expression on Bella's face. Her eyes were wide, her mouth open, form frozen as her nipples played peek-a-boo beneath the sheet.

"Yeah," I breathed, yanking up my jeans, the sound of the zipper filling the otherwise silence.

Suddenly she was all movement, limbs tangling in her bedding as she tried to swing her legs off the side of the bed, almost falling sideways in the process. I snorted, not being able to help it, the panicked glare she shot me only making it worse - I was shocked that Charlie hadn't pushed his way into her room, suspicious of all the commotion.

My fingers paused as I was tying my laces, smile slipping just a little as I realized something was missing here - I hadn't even heard the chief open the front door.

As stealthily as I could without drawing notice to myself, I hooked my finger at the edge of the already open curtains - not trusting that someone wouldn't see me - and peeked out, one eye closed, the other one formed into a slight squint.

My shoulders immediately sank in relief at what I saw. I also kind of wanted to be sick.

"What?" Bella asked, noticing that I wasn't acting so frantic. "Was it not him?"

I let the curtain drift back and turned around, leaning against the wall as I watched her slide clean underwear up her legs. "No, it's him. He's just too busy kissing his girlfriend," I smirked.

Bella's face instantly screwed up, palms covering her eyes. "Ew, gross. I did not need to know that," she whisper-shouted, balancing on the balls of her feet while shaking her head.

I laughed, moving to stand before her, my hands curling around her wrists as I tried to coax her palms away from her eyes. "Under normal circumstances, I'd be agreeing with you," I said. "But I've just been saved the expense of getting my ass handed to me, so I'm making an exception."

She looked up at me, allowing me to link our fingers together as her hands dropped to her sides. "Well... okay. But let's never mention my dad and the word 'kissing' in the same sentence ever again, okay?" she said.

"Deal," I agreed, leaning forward to kiss her forehead, unable to stop myself.

She sighed softly, leaning into me, kissing me on the chest. "Your shirt is damp. You should take it off before you get sick," she murmured after a few seconds.

I could hear the smile in her voice and untangled our fingers, gripping her hips instead. "I don't think that would be a good idea considering your father is literally just outside the house," I responded, fingers slipping under the cotton of her t-shirt. I kissed the top of her head, liking the feel of her skin beneath my lips. "Also, you may want to brush your hair... to avoid any suspicion."

It wouldn't take a genius to figure out what she'd been up to.

She giggled and my chest felt funny as her laugh vibrated against me. Or maybe that was all me, loving the sound of it. "Okay," she agreed with one last kiss, this time to my lips.

Her eyes kept meeting mine in the mirror as I watched her twist her hair into a bun. "Stop staring," she smiled, cheeks flushing.

My gaze swept her body. "I'm not sure that's possible."

Her arms dropped to her side, chest rising and falling rapidly and I looked away, my throat feeling like something was lodged in it.

"How long is he planning on staying out there, do you think?" I asked, swiftly changing the subject.

I took another peek, and sure enough, there he was, smiling at something Sue Clearwater had said. At least they'd stopped kissing. That was something I could do without seeing ever again.

She slipped on a pair of pyjama bottoms and joined me by the window. "Why?" she wondered, biting her bottom lip.

I closed my eyes, groaning. "Don't," I said, attempting to clear my head.

"Don't what?" she smiled, pushing her hands under my shirt, nails running lightly over my stomach to the waistband of my jeans.

"Tease me," I answered thickly. "I'm a teenage boy, I have no control. I'm pretty sure I'd find the sight of you all sick and gross still hot."

She smiled wide, wrapping her arms around my neck, welding her mouth to mine. I wasted no time in pushing my tongue into her mouth, groaning as her fingers pulled at my hair, her boobs pressing to my chest.

"Bella, you home?"

And there it was... the sound no boy wanted to hear while kissing his girlfriend. It was the voice of an instant mood killer: a father.

Someone should really start selling that shit in a bottle - they'd make a fortune.

We both froze at the sound of Charlie's voice; lips comically stuck together, eyes open.

"Saved by the dad," she grinned, untangling herself from me quickly as she stepped to the side to unlock the window.

His voice came again, a little louder this time. "Bells?"

"Yeah, just a second," she called out as she started to crank the window up for me.

I scratched lightly at the back of her head with my fingertips. "That's wide enough," I said, stopping her.

She turned her eyes to me. "Be careful, everything is bound to be all slippery from the rain."

She looked worried and I quickly swept my thumb over her cheek.

"I'll be fine," I assured, my foot finding the assurance of the branch outside her window.

She nodded, leaning out a little to kiss me. And again when I was fully out. Then again when I caught her wrist when she went to pull away: that one was all me though.

"I love you," she whispered, that feeling back inside my chest.

I swallowed hard, studying her face. "Love you, too."

Then her eyes got wide and her hands quickly scrambled for the edges of the curtains, her form disappearing behind purple fabric.

I scrambled down the tree quickly, landing hard on my ass only a couple of feet from the ground as my foot slid on the wet bark. "Motherfucker," I groaned, rolling across the grass until I was sure I was out of sight.

My back was soaked with God knew what, and my jeans were caked with mud. I laid staring up at the sky, my exhale a white puff of smoke as I attempted to catch my breath. I briefly wondered if it was possible to break your own ass before using my elbows to push myself up into a sitting position, and then, eventually, my feet. I hobbled across the yard for a few minutes before the ache started to lessen, and finally made it back to my room without further incident. Or so I'd thought. Someone had locked my bedroom door from the inside - _again_. With gritted teeth I pushed out a, "fucking Alice!" and smacked my palm to the glass.

Resigned, I made my way to the kitchen door, Emmett's voice hitting me before I'd even stepped into the room. Kicking off my shoes, I stepped inside, four sets of eyes immediately zeroing in on me, some faces shocked, others filled with humour: especially Jasper's, who ended up spitting his mouthful of Sprite all over the kitchen table.

"What the hell happened to you?" Rose asked as Emmett howled with laughter. I flipped him the finger and glared at Alice.

"Stop going into my room!" I shouted, pushing some of the hair from my forehead, my palm coming back dirty. I groaned, sinking into the nearest available chair.

She bit her lip to stop herself from laughing, her concern turning into amusement. "When I saw you leave the house earlier, I thought locking you out would finally make you deal with the Bella situation," she admitted. "I just wasn't expecting... well, I wasn't expecting you to come home like _this_," she giggled.

"So that time you told me you'd stop interfering?" Jasper interrupted, brow raised.

Alice nodded. "Yep, totally lying though my teeth."

She finished her admission with a smile that rivaled those of the Miss America hopefuls you saw on TV.

"You actually believed that?" Rose asked her brother. "Wow, you really are stupid."

I cut my eyes to Jazz, smirking as he got bitched at by his sister. _Payback was a bitch._

My revenge was short lived however as she turned her attention to me, my smile drooping while Jasper's grew. _Smug fucker_.

She indicated to me with a wave of her finger. "Why are you looking like a homeless person right now?"

I rubbed the back of my neck and cleared my throat. "I slipped," I answered vaguely.

Emmett was right on it. "Where?"

My leg started bouncing. "Outside Bella's house," I replied, eyeing all of them in turn.

Alice held out her hands, urging me to continue. "_And?_" she pressed, holding out the word.

I shrugged. "And none of your business."

Her eyes formed to slits, head cocking to the side as she studied me. Then she smiled, one that showed her teeth.

I tilted my head to the ceiling in exasperation. "Shut up, Alice," I sighed.

"What? I didn't even say anything," she said incredulously.

I rolled my neck a little, hearing that familiar crunch. "You don't need to," I responded.

Emmett looked between the both of us. "What?" he said in a half whine. "I hate it when you two do this twin shit. What are you talking about?"

Alice clapped, the sound like nails on a chalkboard to my ears. "Edward and Bella made up."

I immediately winced, her excitement embarrassing... even if it did actually sound kind of nice. I found myself smiling just ever so slightly and held back a groan - I was losing my manhood by the second.

"About fucking time," I heard Rose mutter, getting up to grab herself a Coke from the fridge.

I followed suit and got to my feet, the chair scraping against the tiles as it got pushed back under the table.

"Now that you have all fully interfered in my business once again, I'm going to go shower and then hopefully pass out for about ten hours."

Em slapped me on the back. "That must have been one hell of a make up session," he grinned, wagging his brows.

My response was automatic, my tone accusatory. "If you're thinking about my girlfriend naked right now, Emmett, I swear to God..."

I hadn't thought twice about calling her my girlfriend in front of them, not even realizing what I'd really said until Alice made some sort of squeaking noise as she grabbed a hold of Jasper's shirt sleeve.

I felt my brows pull together as I stared back at her, having no idea how one person could smile so damn much. Or how we were even related for that matter. I'd have to have another look for those adoption papers I was sure were in the house somewhere. That was the only logical explanation in my head right at that point.

"Both of you stop it," Rose intervened. "And wipe that look off your face Jasper Hale."

Alice whipped her head around. "What?" he said with his hands in the air, palms vertical.

"You were totally thinking about it," Em snickered and I really hoped I wouldn't have to punch both him and Jazz in the face. That would make things a whole lot awkward around here.

"I need to get out of here," I groaned, rounding the table in damp socks. "Oh, and Alice?" I said, pausing by the door.

She turned to face me, looking all proud of me and shit. "Yeah?" she said.

"If you ever go into my room again without my say so, I'll introduce Mrs. Stanley's dog to your shoe collection."

Her face paled. "You wouldn't."

"Well, as long as you behave, we won't ever have to find out, will we?" I grinned, tapping the door-frame twice before heading for my room and a much needed shower.

OoOoO

Something tickled my face and I groaned, turning my head the other way. I was just drifting back off when it happened again.

_What the fuck?_

Reaching out blindly, I caught something that felt an awful lot like an arm - my eyes shot open in surprise.

Bella smiled back at me, tickling a damn feather on the side of my cheek. "Morning, sleepyhead."

I blinked, immediately wanting to tackle her to the mattress and pin her beneath me.

I cleared my throat and made sure the duvet was covering my morning salute down below. "Please don't tell me you got that from some nasty ass bird," I said with a frown.

She laughed. "As a matter of fact, I did. I bet it's crawling with germs."

I shifted away from her a little on the bed, keeping her arm with me until she fell forward, landing beside me. "Well, then I hope you're prepared to get me clean." She raised a brow and I elaborated. "It looks like we're going to have to jump in the shower together."

Her eyes narrowed in mock irritation. "Is that so?" she wondered slowly.

A loud exhale left my mouth. "I know, I know, I don't want to do it either, but what choice do we have?"

"The feather is from one of your pillows, Edward. I think you'll survive."

I shook my head. "Better to be safe than sorry."

Her tongue ran along her lips, not in a dirty way or anything, just to moisten them... I think. It still didn't stop my head from conjuring up other things it could do.

Jesus, I was turning into a fucking pervert.

"I already showered this morning," she replied, none the wiser to the tone of my thoughts.

I tucked some of her hair behind her ear, giving in to my urge to touch her face. "So? Shower again," I said simply.

"But I'm not dirty," she added, running her fingers over the hairs on my arm.

That did it. I acted quickly, grabbing her around the waist until I hovered above her. "You sure?" I asked, kissing her flushed cheeks.

She pushed at my chest, her smile wide. "Your parents are downstairs," she said quietly, gaze drifting to the door.

"It's closed," I pointed out. "And it has a lock on it."

She bit her lip as my hand grazed her boob... maybe moaned a little, too. I might have as well, come to think of it.

"Okay, but it has to be fast," she murmured quickly.

"Yeah," I said, shifting the skirt of her dress up her legs, my lips attacking her neck as her hands ran up my back. "That's not going to be a problem."

Twenty minutes later I was showered and dressed and grabbing me and Bella some juice from the kitchen.

She was sitting between my mom and Alice at the table, flipping through some fashion magazine - there was a lot of nodding and, _ooh, I want that_ going on.

It felt weird seeing her like that. But not in a bad way, just... different. Better maybe. No, yeah, definitely better.

She kept looking over at me and I caught her every single time... probably because I hadn't been able to take my eyes off her all morning, either. She was nervous about something. I knew the signs by now. She kept chewing at her lip and fiddling with her hair - it was driving me crazy.

Taking a seat near her, I slid her glass over and ignored the smile on my mom's face. _Fucking Alice and her big mouth._

I knew my mom knew, even though she hadn't said anything. It was all in her expression.

I felt my face heat and wanted nothing more than to grab Bella's hand and yank her from the room with me.

"So, any plans today, Edward?" Mom asked after a moment.

My eyes instinctively drifted over to Bella, and there she was, biting that damn lip of hers again._ She was going to be the death of me_.

"Er, I'm not sure," I answered. I rubbed the back of my neck, not knowing what I should say.

This was the shit I hated, the awkward couple-like stuff. Was I supposed to ask her before I made plans? Would she expect me to invite her along? Would she even want me with her all the time?

I cleared my throat and took a mouthful of juice - I didn't think I'd ever wanted a cigarette so much in my life.

"You should take advantage of the sun," she said, eyes shifting to Bella and back again. She wasn't even trying to be subtle.

That was an opportunity if I ever saw one; so I took it. "Yeah, good idea, Mom," I said, getting to my feet. "Me and Bella are going to be in the garden."

I doubted that was what she had in mind when she suggested that, but I wasn't about to stick around and find out what plans were going through her head.

"So," I said slowly, drawing the word out. "Want to tell me what's wrong?" I asked Bella as soon as we were out of sight.

She paused to pull a leaf from the nearest branch, a few drops of rain from yesterday's downpour falling down on us. "What makes you think something's wrong?" she wondered.

"You going to tell me there isn't?" I countered.

Her cheeks puffed out with her exhale. "I wanted to ask you something... but I'm not sure if you'll want to."

"Okay," I said with a scratch to my head. "Um, what is it?"

She cut her eyes to mine, her words coming out in a rush. "Do you want to have dinner with me and my dad later?"

"What?" I choked out.

"Oh, and the Clearwaters will be there, too," she added quickly.

I swallowed hard, shoving my hands into my pockets. "Will this be like a... meet the boyfriend type of thing?" I wondered. I already wanted to dig a hole and bury myself in the garden.

Her father was going to kill me. He'd know I'd touched her boobs and made her downtown happy. My stomach suddenly felt queasy.

She ran her hands through her hair. "You don't have to - at all. I just wanted to ask, you know? I know it will probably be really awkward."

I considered something. "Does he know we're dating?" I asked, shielding my eyes from the sun.

She shook her head no. "I mean, I don't think so anyway."

"It would make sense telling him... especially if I'm going to be around a lot," I thought out loud.

She smiled. "You're going to be around a lot?"

I smirked. "Maybe... but only if you're really lucky," I winked.

Her hand pushed at my chest. "You're so full of yourself."

"You love that about me," I teased, wrapping my arms around her waist.

She tried to wriggle free. "Um, no I don't," she insisted. She wasn't fooling anyone.

I tickled her sides. "Admit it," I urged.

"No," she laughed, hands around my wrists as tears formed in her eyes. "Stop it."

"What was that?" I grinned. "I didn't quite hear you."

"Okay, okay, fine. I love that about you," she wheezed.

My fingers stilled against her sides. "Good girl."

Then she trod on my bare foot. "Whoops, sorry," she said sweetly.

"You did that on purpose," I accused, loving that look in her eye.

She took a step back, lip caught between her teeth. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Then why are you backing away?" I replied, watching her feet take another step.

"I'm not," she insisted with a smile.

"You're just making it worse by running," I warned, brows raised.

She turned before the words had finished leaving my mouth and I lunged forward, my feet slipping, bringing her down with me in the process.

I quickly shifted us as best I could, making sure she landed on me instead of the other way around.

A groan left my mouth as my back hit the still wet lawn, a similar noise coming from above me as sweet smelling hair covered my face.

There were worse things in life.

"Ow, ow, ow," she laugh-groaned, flicking her hair to one side of her head.

I helped her, my hands on her face, a few dirt smudges forming on her cheeks. Her eyes were light and she was smiling, all wrapped up in a pretty sundress. Fuck she was cute.

"I'll come to dinner," I said impulsively, watching that smile grow.

"Yeah?" she grinned.

"Yeah," I repeated, licking my lips.

I kissed the tip of her nose, feeling last night's rain seep into the back of my shirt.

It looked like I'd be showering again.

OoOoO

Fuck me if this wasn't the most awkward I had ever felt in my life - ever.

"You look like you're going to puke," Seth snickered as he leaned forward from his place on the sofa.

"Shut up, trouble," Bella admonished, poking him in the side.

"What? You _do_," he insisted while staring at her.

It was kind of funny seeing this sibling-type relationship they had already sort of formed.

"Do they do that a lot?" I asked Leah quietly, who was perched on the couch beside me. I hadn't thought it a good idea to sit next to Bella when I arrived - I had a hard time keeping my hands to myself.

She shrugged. "Maybe?" She smoothed her hands on her jeans. "I'm not really around that much for these sorts of things."

"So why now?" I wondered.

She laughed. "Like I was going to miss this," she answered, turning to face me a little on the cushions. "Why, Edward Cullen, you look nervous."

"I feel fine." Liar.

Her head cocked to the side. "You look like you're going to puke," she smiled, using Seth's words to Bella from earlier. This of course set him off again, his laugh causing Bella to poke him a second time, which resulted in him retaliating.

Everything was going so well already.

A throat cleared and we all turned our heads to see Charlie watching us from the doorway.

His eyes were already on my face, arms crossed over his chest. _Motherfuck_.

"Edward," he nodded, glancing at Bella before refocusing back on me.

"Chief," I nodded, using my long term name for him.

"You're joining us for dinner I hear."

"That's the plan," I agreed.

He rubbed at his 'stache. "You like steak?" His eyes narrowed ever so slightly when he asked me this and I wondered if it was some sort of test. He looked like he took his red meat really seriously.

"Yes, sir," I said. Seth snickered again, most likely due to me calling Charlie 'sir'. _Little punk_.

"Good."

And then he was gone again.

I blinked, looking over at Bella who was trying not to laugh. I threw a throw cushion at her.

"What?" she giggled.

I rubbed my palms over my face, sighing when Sue announced dinner was ready as she quickly popped her head around the door with some sort of dish in her hands.

I pinched Bella's ass as I came up behind her, smirking at her flushed cheeks. We filed into the kitchen, but I hung back a little, not knowing where I should sit or if I could sit next to Bella like I wanted. Thankfully the decision was made for me as the others settled themselves into their chairs pretty quickly, no doubt a practiced move from previous family dinners.

My chest felt a little lighter... that was until I saw where I was sitting. Or rather, who I would be sitting next to.

The chair on the right of Chief Swan was left empty... suddenly I wasn't feeling so hungry. I met Bella's eyes, her gaze apologetic as she made herself comfortable. Or as comfortable as you could in a hardback.

At least she was opposite me... that made me feel a little better knowing I wouldn't be in direct eyeline with anyone else really.

I had no idea why I was so nervous. I'd always been fine around her dad, even giving him a bit of shit sometimes, especially over that fishing gear I'd accidentally run over a little while back, before Bella had even moved here.

This, however, was before I had cared about making a good impression.

A hand grabbed my sleeve and pulled me into the seat without further debate. I gripped the edge of the table as Leah tapped me on the shoulder, like one would a puppy. "There, now you don't look like such an idiot," she whispered.

I resisted the urge to flick her in the forehead like the five year old I apparently was. "What would I do without your guidance?" I asked jokingly, my tone bordering on sarcastic.

Her lips pulled up a little. "I don't know. Stand back up and find out," she answered me.

I grinned and looked away. _Same old, same old_.

The table got quiet as plates were filled with steak and potatoes and some weird looking sauce which I took just a spoonful of to be polite.

Bella had mentioned her dad would be the one cooking and I briefly wondered if he would go as far as to try and poison me. Being a cop, I bet he would be awesome at hiding the evidence, too.

Surprisingly though, the food was good - even the sauce which was apparently made from mushrooms and cream.

"So, how long have you two been sneaking around?" Charlie asked, cutting up his steak.

My fork froze on its way to my mouth. _Shit_.

Thankfully Bella answered before I could. "Um, it's a recent development," she said.

I held back a smirk and filled my mouth with potato.

"I had an interesting talk with Mrs. Briars the other day," he said aloud to no one in particular. "Said she'd seen someone sneaking out your window a little while back."

My blood ran cold and I swallowed my food heavily.

"Her eyes are getting bad though, so she thought she'd been mistaken," he continued. "But then she said a few days later she saw it again. Said she recognized the person as 'the boy with the bad haircut from next door'."

He looked at me steadily, expression stoic. "Do you have a problem with front doors, Edward?"

I shook my head, my palms suddenly a bit sweaty. "Not always."

"Then I suggest you use the one we have here," he said.

That was it? No threatening to shoot me with his gun?

"Okay," I answered. "I'll remember that from now on."

He took a sip from his beer can. "Just be careful when letting yourself in. I keep my guns in the cupboard by the door," he said, eyeballing me over the rim. "Sometimes I forget to put them away, too. You know how it is."

And there we go.

"Thanks for the tip," I said, glancing over at Bella who was scowling at her dad.

She cleared her throat, and I immediately recognized that look in her eye. _Meet your match, Charlie Swan._

"It's funny you mentioned late night shenanigans," she said, helping herself to another bit of steak. "I could have sworn I saw someone kissing in our driveway last night."

Seth _oohed_ and a bit of food went down the wrong way as I choked on a laugh.

Leah's hand immediately slapped me on the back. "Thanks," I wheezed, quickly taking a sip of my water.

Sue's eyes met mine and her face turned red instantly - I quickly looked away again, not wanting to draw attention to her. She was an innocent bystander in all this, after all.

"It was too dark for me to make out who it was though," Bella continued, the lie leaving her mouth easily. She looked up at her father. "Any ideas who it could be?" she asked, trying not to smile.

She was teasing him and I almost felt sorry for the guy. Until I remembered he'd just given me a not-so-subtle hint that he owned a cupboard full of firearms.

It became all too apparent where Bella got her gumption from.

Charlie's face was as controlled as ever. "I'll ask Mrs. Briars to keep an eye out," he said coolly.

It was pretty fucking impressive.

Her smile finally broke free. "You do that."

And who said meet the boyfriend dinners weren't fun?

OoOoO

I was stuffing my face with waffles, about half a bottle of syrup swimming around on my plate, the result of not being able to concentrate for shit, when I heard the door open behind me. Something immediately fluttered inside my chest and my eyes rolled back a little, gaze on the ceiling in exasperation - I was being such a girl.

I turned my head to the side, trying to be inconspicuous and failing miserably.

Instead of seeing the girl I wanted, I was met with the grinning face of my brother. I couldn't even attempt to hide my disappointment - talk about let down.

"Expecting someone else?" he asked, wagging his brows at me.

I glanced behind him one last time before swiveling back around in my seat. "Shut up," I grumbled, shoving a forkful of waffle in mouth. Goddamn that was good. Breakfast of champions.

His hand clapped down on my back, jerking my body forward. "Ah, young love," he crooned.

"Jesus Christ, Emmett," I snapped, shrugging him off. "I'm trying to eat. I could have choked."

He waved me off. "A real man would know how to carry on eating through any situation," he said, puffing out his chest a little as he slid into the seat opposite me.

I snorted. "Yeah, you're a real Chuck Norris," I said sarcastically.

"Dude, I'm serious," he carried on. "This one time I was in bed with Rose and I was attacking a chicken leg—"

I held up a hand, fork tight in my opposite fist. "Just... stop right there. I don't want to upchuck my breakfast, thanks." I shook my head, muttering. "Fucking disgusting."

He piled his plate with fluffy eggs, shrugging off my comments - everything was like water off a duck's back with him.

"Don't knock it until you've tried it," he replied easily.

I swallowed my bite of food. "I don't know what you've tried," I answered, quickly realizing my mistake when his mouth opened. I swiftly pointed my fork at him. "_No_. That was _not_ an invitation to share."

He shrugged, swinging his school tie backwards around his neck so it wouldn't fall into his breakfast. "Your loss," he said, hunching over to fill his mouth.

I took a drink of my juice, my appetite well and truly dead. "I seriously doubt that," I answered lowly, more to myself than him.

Just then Rose and Jasper filed through the kitchen door, Rose looking seriously pissed about something.

"Speak of the devil," I announced, tapping my palms flat to the table.

She cut her eyes my way suspiciously before resting on Emmett. "What have you said now?" she accused.

Her arms folded over her chest, brows raised expectantly.

I smirked as he stopped eating, cheeks still full, reminding me of the pet hamster Alice had had when she was nine. He'd been named Gunther.

"I thought a real man could carry on eating through any situation?" I laughed, referring to his earlier statement.

He scowled my way before continuing to chew. "Ignore, Edward," he pressed. "He's testy because Bella isn't here yet."

"Who isn't here?" Alice asked, suddenly appearing in the doorway.

Jasper kissed her cheek. "Bella."

"She's on her way over now. I just spoke to her, like, two minutes ago."

_Shit, why didn't I think about calling her?_

"Aw, look, he's smiling," Emmett cooed, attempting to reach over the table and pinch my cheek.

"Fuck you," I said, dodging his hand. He just laughed.

Not thirty seconds later Bella let herself through the back door, her lips curling into a smile when she saw me.

_Best sight in the world._

"Hi," she mumbled, cheeks pink as she noticed everyone else's eyes fixed on us.

"Morning, sweetcheeks," Em winked before I had chance to reply.

My teeth ground together. "That's it," I said, glaring at him from across the table.

He shot to his feet, heading for the door. "Don't worry, I'm going, I'm going. I've got an important appointment to get to anyway.

"What appointment?" Rose questioned, following him. "You didn't tell me you had an appointment. You're supposed to be driving us to school."

He slung his arm over her shoulder. "Don't worry, Rosie, it's only to hassle Mom for extra lunch money. I just made it in my head maybe, ten seconds ago?"

"You're special, you know that, right?" I heard Rose respond as they disappeared from sight. I smirked and glanced at Jazz, hoping he'd get the hint and pull Alice out of the room with him.

His brows furrowed as he shook his head slightly before seemingly getting it. "I left something in your room, Allie. Help me find it?"

She pursed her lips, looking torn. "What did you lose?" she questioned.

He ruffled his hair. "My... wallet."

"I can see it in your pocket," she said with raised brows and a pointed finger.

He patted the sides of his trousers. "Oh, that's where it is," he voiced in an overly surprised tone.

There were no Oscars in his future.

"Oh, Jesus Christ," I sighed. "Can you give us a minute, Alice?" I said impatiently.

Her hands found her hips. "You've kept Bella to yourself all weekend," she accused. Which was true.

After dinner with her father Saturday, we'd watched a movie before heading our separate ways - I may have groped her around the side of her house a little first though. And yesterday we'd holed up in my room until my parents came home and demanded the door be left open.

That was the problem with everyone now knowing we were an item - it was a lot harder to sneak around.

I reached for another bit of waffle. "So?" I pointed out stubbornly, chewing slowly.

"So, I want to spend time with her too," she responded. "You're trying to steal my best friend."

"I'll check our calendar," I deadpanned.

Bella huffed beside me. "Um, guys, you realize I'm standing right here, right?"

She looked pissed, all flushed cheeks and annoyed expression. I smiled - excellent.

"Sorry," Alice sighed. "Movie after school?"

Bella's features softened, and I remembered I had detention for at least an hour after classes ended. My mood instantly soured.

"It's a date," she smiled.

Alice bounced on her toes, all happy again. "Let's go find your wallet, Jazz," she sang.

His face showed his confusion as he followed after her. "You realize it was never lost though, right?" he said.

Her fingers linked with his. "When did you get so bad at acting?" she wondered, their voices fading as they ran up the stairs.

"Fucking finally," I sighed, pulling Bella to my lap.

Her hand cupped my cheek. "Hi."

I cut another bit of waffle off with my fork. "Hi," I returned, pressing my lips to her neck. She squirmed in my lap and I held back a groan.

Distracting us both, I picked up the fork and held it to her mouth. "Want some?" I asked.

"Yep," she said, opening her mouth.

Syrup stuck to her lips as she chewed and then I was distracted in a completely different way. A better way.

I reached forward with my thumb, wiping the syrup from the edge of her mouth. But before I had time to put it in my own mouth, her lips were on mine, and I had the best of both worlds - her tongue and syrup flavoured kisses.

Half an hour later I was driving Bella to school. We had the windows down and she was singing along to some piece of shit song that sounded like it was being sung by a twelve year old boy whose balls had yet to drop. It may have been Justin Timberlake, if I had to guess.

"Your taste in music is awful," I told her as we pulled into the parking lot.

When I'd driven her to school Friday, things hadn't ended too well. This was different now though; there was no tension of the negative kind.

That didn't mean people didn't stare though - they did, openly so.

She rolled her eyes. "You're wearing Ray-Bans to school. I think we know who makes the better decisions out of the two of us."

"Hey, these are cool," I argued.

"Maybe if we were at the beach," she responded, teasing me with a smile.

Cutting the engine, I unbuckled our seat belts and leaned over to kiss her cheek. "Jealousy doesn't suit you."

She raised a brow. "Believe me, I'm not jealous."

"If you say so."

She nodded. "I do."

Opening the door, I asked, "You ready?"

She licked her lips quickly before taking a deep breath. "Yeah."

Em pulled into a space a few cars down from us about a minute later as I was trying to be a gentleman and carry Bella's bag for her - she wasn't having any of it though. Stubborn 'til the end.

"I swear, if any of that lands on me," we heard Alice mutter as she joined us.

"What's wrong?" Bella asked with a concerned frown.

She pointed in the direction of Mike, Eric and Tyler, who were having some sort of water fight.

"Don't worry, I'll protect you from the big, bad water," Jazz teased, wrapping his arms around her from behind. She rolled her eyes but she was smiling.

"Yeah, but let's hope it hits one of those," Rose interjected, her features morphing in a look of disgust.

Tanya, Jessica and Lauren were waving their hands around animatedly about something, not paying attention to their surroundings. I held Bella's hand in mine and pressed my lips to her temple, smiling against her soft skin - I could see what was about to happen before he'd even done it.

Mike shook his can of coke, opened it, put his finger over the lip, and sprayed it in the air around him with some sort of war cry. He completely missed his intended targets, and it flew all over Tanya instead, her face dripping as she stood there in silent fury.

Rose snorted while Em full on guffawed, looking at all of us as if to say, 'You just saw that shit, right?' before turning back to laugh some more.

"Oh my God," Alice giggled. "This is the best day of my life."

We watched on as Tanya's face turned a deadly shade of red, hers formed out of anger rather than the embarrassed shade of Mike's.

With one last smile I turned my back on the scene and pulled Bella to me, one hand on her hip, the other cupping her cheek.

Not giving a shit who was and wasn't looking. Or listening, for that matter, I asked, "Can I walk you to class?"

She'd shot me down the last time I'd asked this, but this time I was confident she wouldn't say no.

She smiled, eyes narrowing a little in that teasing way of hers.

"Hmm, that depends," she said, biting her lip, distracting me with that pretty mouth of hers.

"Oh yeah? On what?" I inquired, thumb stroking her jaw.

She licked her lips, eyes on mine, dark and shining. "Oh whether I get a kiss first," she hinted.

I studied her face, my gaze lingering a little longer than polite at her lips. "Where?" I asked lowly, smirking as I shifted my eyes back to hers.

Her cheeks pinked and I couldn't stop myself from pressing my lips to her right one first, and then her left.

"Did I get it?" I wondered. She shook her head. "No?" I guessed.

"No," she repeated.

"Show me then," I told her, watching as she pressed her fingertip to her temple, the tip of her nose, her chin, my mouth following dutifully.

She sighed as my lips landed at the edge of her mouth.

"You missed," she whispered, fisting my sweater in her hands as she pulled me even closer, seeming to dislike what little distance there was between us.

"I did, huh?" I murmured, tilting her head, bringing her mouth up closer to mine.

Her lips parted, her tongue visible just behind her teeth. "Yeah," she breathed.

I shook my head, smiling, laugh stuck in my throat as I exhaled through my nose. "I'll just take a guess then, shall I?"

Someone's car alarm went off, blaring in the background, causing a commotion.

"You're smart. You'll figure it out," she said.

I slid my palm from her waist all the way down to her hand, bringing the back of it to my mouth, glancing at her in amusement as I kissed her fingers.

She pursed her lips, trying to look mad, but she failed miserably as her smile broke out over her face a few seconds later. "I take back my previous statement," she said, trying to pull away from me.

I took a step forward, linking my fingers with hers, refusing to let her go. "It's too late," I uttered. "You can't take it back now."

"Yes, I can," she responded, her stubborn nature shining through. A perfect match for mine.

_She _was a perfect match for _me_.

I shook my head. "No, you can't. You see, I'm the boss of you now," I teased, doing my best to keep a straight face.

Her brows rose. "I don't think so," she retaliated, all spark and fire. _There she was._

"Well, I'm the boss of this," I said, placing my hand over her heart. "And this," I said, giving her ass a quick squeeze. "And these," I finished, silencing her objections with a kiss.

She pulled back, ready to bitch at me, and I silenced her again. And again. Smiling in between kisses.

She eventually sank into me, sighing when I pushed my tongue into her mouth. "You're lucky you're such a good kisser," she grumbled, not sounding unhappy in the slightest.

"I should really get that on a t-shirt," I mused, laughing at the expression on her face.

She shook her head. "What am I going to do with you, Edward Cullen?"

"Do you want me to write a list? Because I have a few ideas," I told her, feeling my lips curl into the smile I knew she loved.

She burst out laughing. "I'm sure you do."

I loved that sound... loved that I was responsible for its appearance and the smile on her face.

I swallowed thickly, catching her eyes as I cupped her chin with my thumb and forefinger.

"You know you're the boss of me, too, right?" I said, wanting her to know just how much she meant to me.

Her eyes fluttered between mine; shining... happy. "Yeah, I know," she answered lowly.

I'd fought so hard not to fall for her, fought so hard to deny my feelings. And in the end, it was all for nothing.

You couldn't pick and choose who you fell for. Love just happened; it knocked you on your ass and stripped you bare. And more often than not, turned you into a bigger idiot than you were before.

But when you found the right person, all of that... it all became worth it.

_Bella_ was worth it.

"Wanna go fool around in an empty classroom until the bell rings?" I asked, backing her up against my car.

She pulled me closer by my tie, my hands unable to stop touching her. "Only if you take off those sunglasses," she answered.

I smirked. "Why, you wanna wear them?"

This time it was she who silenced me with a kiss.

**The End.**

* * *

**Hiii.**

**It's so bittersweet saying goodbye to these two. ****I've been writing this fic for over two years now and have had the best time. **

**Now to the mushy stuff. I apologise in advance. lolll**

** I'd never written anything before this story, and have two very important people in particular I want to thank for all the help and support they've given me.**

**Susan... I would have been lost without your guidance. The day you contacted me, asking if I would like a beta, made me the luckiest girl. I've learned so much from you - your help has been invaluable. I seriously feel like I can't thank you enough. You've become one of my very favourite people in my life and I adore you.**

**Also, to my lovely pre-reader Judy - you are the best pimp on the planet, I swear. lol. You introduced me to the world that is livejournal and got people reading. Your support has meant so much to me and I love you lots.**

**And finally, thank you so, so much to every single one of you that has read, rec'd, and reviewed this story. You have made this experience so worthwhile and I will miss seeing your faces pop up in my mail. I got to know some of you really well and I won't name names, as I'm bound to leave someone out, but you know who you are; so thank you from the bottom of my heart.**

**Also, for those of you who have asked if I'll be writing anything else, the answer is... yes. I have a story which I am in the process of outlining. And even though I promised myself I wouldn't write two stories at once again, I crack really easily, so we'll see. ;]**

**But foremost I'll be focusing on completing my other story, Cracks in the ****Pavement first. :]**

**Thanks so much for reading.**

**VHL xx**


	41. Epilogue

**Hey everyone! Thanks so much to those of you that read and reviewed last chapter. I know it was a pain with FFn being on the brink, so thank you so much for taking the time to go back and review. :]**

**Here's a small epi of sorts. It's just a few months skip ahead. I'm not into that whole, buying a house and settling down with a baby thing. We get some fluffy graduation instead. lol**

**Thank you so much to Susan and Judy as always. They are amazing and I couldn't do anything without them.**

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns Twilight and all its characters.**

* * *

Bella

I'd just had my picture taken more times than I could count. There were spots in front of my eyes and my cheeks hurt from smiling so much, and it felt good, even if I did keep tripping over the potholes in the ground - _people really needed to turn the damn flash off on their cameras._ I was one shot away from face-planting the dirt.

High school was over, the graduation ceremony lasting no longer than a couple of hours. The voices were loud and the excitement high, and families and friends were gathered around in sporadic groups, sharing stories as they waved their hands about in front of each other.

It was surreal.

And on top of this, there was also a hint of melancholy in the air... or perhaps that was just me.

It was a bittersweet feeling, knowing that the very thing I moaned about each morning I got up - all the homework and classes and uniforms - was no longer going to be a part of my life.

I'd sat and watched the majority of my classmates go before me onto the stage, filing out of their seats in alphabetical order as their names were called out.

I'd hated the fact that I couldn't sit with Edward or Alice, or one of the others, cursing my last name... and the bird that represented it. _Stupid thing with its weird, hook shaped neck and white feathers_.

Crow would have been a lot more advantageous.

Isabella Crow... I couldn't stop the laugh that burst from my mouth.

"What's so funny?" Rose asked, her eyes darting to me before squinting back out into the crowd, her hand over her eyes, shielding them from the sun's rays.

I shook my head, pushing the hair from my face. "Nothing," I answered, feeling the heat of the sun on the back of my neck. The sky was a clear blue, free of those candy floss clouds that looked close enough to touch.

I knew who she was looking for as she continued to scan those around us, because I was, too - the boys.

When Edward had walked up to the stage, my heart had felt like it was going to burst out of my chest. He'd looked weirdly hot in that ugly yellow polyester gown, his cheeks pinking with embarrassment when Em started hollering after him, complete with fist pumps.

His eyes had found mine in the crowd, and that feeling of love and lust and all good things had fluttered in my tummy, my hands itching to weave themselves into his hair and kiss him silly.

"I can't find Em," Rose sighed, interrupting my thoughts as she gave up her search to smooth her hands down her gown.

I followed suit before straightening my cap, the tassel irritating the hell out of me. "They'll find us soon enough," I assured her, giving her hand a quick squeeze. I noticed her nail polish matched the colour of our gowns and I smiled.

And speaking of Em... I was pretty sure Mrs. Cope was still grinning from ear-to-ear after the lip smacker he'd given her - right on the mouth. I hadn't been able to stop laughing, tears forming in my eyes at the expression on both of their faces - happiness for completely different reasons - and was insanely grateful that Alice had insisted on me wearing waterproof mascara this morning, because, in her words, 'things were going to get emotional'.

And that was true.

Especially where my mother was concerned.

"Baby, I'm so, so proud of you!" she'd cried, squeezing the life out of me with one of her hugs.

I'd laughed, hugging her back, frowning when her shoulders started to shake.

Pulling back, I whispered, "Mom?"

"I'm fine," she insisted, wiping at her eyes. "I'm just emotional."

I smiled - I was just happy she was here. This was the first time I'd seen her all year, so I was more than content: sometimes talking over the phone just wasn't the same as having the real thing in front of you.

She gave me another wistful look. "You're so grown up, Bella. When did that happen?" Her eyes immediately cut to Charlie. "When did our baby grow up?" she repeated, her voice instantly cracking. Not that I'm sure it had ever stopped.

She'd started crying again and Dad had looked like he wanted to retreat to someplace else. His cheeks had warmed and his eyes had looked anywhere but at Mom, but he'd stepped forward to rub her back awkwardly nonetheless, murmurs of 'it's alright' passing in between a lot of throat clearing and brushes to his moustache. Phil returned with a new roll of film for his camera a few minutes after that, and I couldn't remember a time I'd ever seen Charlie look so relieved - the expression on his face screamed, 'she's all yours, pal'.

It was nice to see them together though. They still got on pretty well, which made me really lucky. I knew that wasn't always the case for most kids with divorced parents; so I'd hugged them both, smiling once more as Phil took our picture. Needless to say he hadn't turned off the flash, so I'd had to put up with dancing disco balls in my eyes for another few minutes.

"It's useless," Alice sighed, drawing me out of my thoughts as she fluffed the sides of her hair, attempting to exaggerate the flick with the tips of her finger. "This cap has given me the worst case or hat hair... or _cap _hair, rather," she amended.

I shook my head, giggling. "You look fine, Al," I told her honestly, running my fingers through the back of her spiky, ebony cut, over the areas where she couldn't see without a mirror handy.

My cap had almost fallen off twice when it became my turn to collect my diploma. I'd been fiddling with my hair all morning - a nervous tick, according to Edward - so it was all my own doing. It didn't mean I didn't want to burn the thing though.

I'd heard Em's familiar wolf whistle as I'd shuffled from my seat - the one he did with two fingers - and blushed from head to toe. I didn't think he'd ever tire of trying to embarrass me. Or tease me, for that matter.

I was really going to miss him... all of them.

We were heading to different colleges; different schools better for the different courses we wanted to take. There had been tears shed and clear spirits and cookie dough, but we had holidays and weekends and knew we'd still see each other all the time. Friendships like we had wouldn't fizzle out over the course of a few missed months.

We were stuck with each other. And that was fine with us all.

I'd decided on UW, wanting to stay closer to home. And apparently that was what Edward had had in mind, too.

Both of us had avoided the college talk for so long, scared about what would happen with us, the technicalities of living apart. Every time I had brought it up, something had gotten in the way, or our conversation had simply fizzled out. Locking ourselves away in denial had seemed like the better option.

Things between us had been so, so good during the last four months. Sure we still argued, a lot of the time actually, and always over stupid things, our stubborn natures causing us to butt heads. But despite all that, they never lasted long, one of us usually cracking within a day or two. There was always a lot of kissing involved during those times, which was never a bad thing.

When we'd finally sat down to discuss our options, our conversation had gone a lot differently than what I'd expected.

"What college are you going to?" I'd asked, fiddling with the sleeves of my sweater, fingers clumsy as they attempted to hide inside cotton.

He ran his hand through his hair as he shrugged, unperturbed. "The one you go to," he said simply.

My heart stuttered. "Be serious," I said, even though I loved the words coming from his mouth. I wouldn't tell him that though; he had to make this decision for himself. I couldn't influence him in any way.

He frowned, his brows drawing low over his green eyes. "I am," he said, swallowing heavily, Adam's apple bobbing in his throat. "Do you... do you not want me to...? Go to the same one as you, I mean?" he explained.

My stomach dropped. _How could he think that?_ "No," I blurted, feeling my pulse quicken. "Of course I do. I just can't be the one to make that choice for you."

His expression shifted, his relief evident in the straightening of his brows and slight curl of his lips.

"Well, okay then," he answered, kissing along my thighs where my shorts ended, his light touches driving me crazy inside.

My teeth bit the inside of my cheek as he kissed a little higher. "I was thinking UW," I said quickly, simultaneously trying to gauge his reaction and not let him distract me any more than he already was with his mouth.

His nose skimmed along the inside of my knee. "I applied there," he admitted, his fingers joining in with his attention to my skin.

I smiled, stilling his hand with my own palm. "Yeah?" I said, trying to capture his gaze as I bent my head a little.

His eyes flicked to mine for a moment. "Yeah."

His admission lit me up inside, and I tried really hard not to get my hopes up, but it was difficult. I didn't want to be apart from him. I loved him... I was scared he'd meet someone else... or that things would change between us. Long distance relationships rarely turned out well. I didn't want that for us.

"What happens if we don't get in?" I whispered, my voice small as I gave life to my fear.

He'd grinned, shifting on the bed until he was beside me, face to face, his palm resting on my stomach. "I'll flirt with one of the admissions people," he responded, eyes holding mine

"Oh my god, no you will not," I choked out.

His brows rose, his lips brushing against my cheek as he kissed me. "Why? You know it would work."

"That's beside the point," I said breathlessly.

He looked me in the eye, his thumb brushing my chin. "You're jealous," he stated.

I played with one of the buttons on his shirt. "Am not."

"Don't worry," he smirked, licking his lips. "You're my woman. No one else matters."

Stubborn mouth and, "I'm no one's _woman,_" I amended.

I was totally his woman.

"Keep telling yourself that," he said, his fingers sneaking under the wire of my bra.

"Stop touching my boobs," I laughed, the sound quickly turning into a moan.

His eyes flicked up to mine, his look devilish. "Why? They like me."

I felt my face heat and covered my eyes with my hands. I couldn't even deny that one.

"They're my girls," he continued, pushing the cups down.

I started laughing, feeling it down in my belly. "Oh god, that sounds so wrong."

He'd grabbed my face and kissed me until I was breathless - it had been a good talk.

Rubbing my eyes clear of the memory, I cursed softly as I remembered I had mascara on, quickly checking my fingers for any signs of black.

I was about to ask Alice if anything had smudged, when I felt someone tap me on the shoulder, my heart instantly jumping into my throat, not expecting the touch.

Turning quickly, hand to my chest, I looked into a familiar pair of brown eyes. "Shit, you made me jump," I blurted.

Jake had a small smile on his face, and not the usual grin I had been used to, but it was still something. And I was so happy to see him. I wanted to pull him into a hug, tell him the funny joke I'd heard the other day I knew he'd like. But we weren't there quite yet.

And that was okay.

"Hey," I said softly.

Jake had cut his hair, his once chin length cut now short. It suited him.

"Congratulations," he nodded, that smile getting a little bigger.

I hadn't seen him for a few weeks and my smile grew in response to his.

The last time we'd spoken had been at a barbecue his dad had thrown together last minute after a particularly fruitful fishing trip with Charlie about a month back. We'd all stuffed ourselves until the sight of fish made us groan out loud. And not in a good way.

"Thanks," I breathed, swallowing against the happy induced lump in my throat. "You too," I added.

Jacob had just graduated himself. I hadn't been able to attend his graduation due to school, but Charlie had taken the day off work to be there. Billy had also promised me a copy of his film if I wanted it.

"Quil and Embry are around somewhere," he continued, scratching the back of his head. "Probably scaring fathers by chatting up their daughters."

His eyes cut to mine and we both started laughing, an honest to god one that started in my belly.

"I would say I'm surprised, but, well..." I laughed again, shaking my head.

He licked his lips, his eyes flicking over my face as he slid his hands into the pockets of his jeans. "Anyway," he sighed, "I'm about to head off, but I just wanted to come tell you congrats."

I nodded, exhaling slowly. "Thanks, Jake," I whispered.

My teeth found my lip in my hesitation and without thinking too much more about what I was about to do, I gave him a quick hug.

He sort of froze and I was worried he was going to pull away, but then his hand found my back, his touch light, and the tension in my posture lessened a little.

"See ya, Bells," he said quietly before disentangling himself.

"Bye," I said, watching him go.

Rose snorted, gaining my attention. "What?" I asked, a smile tugging at the corners of my lips.

"Was that as awkward for you as it was for me?" she teased.

I pushed at her arm. "Shut up," I laughed, squeaking when someone picked me up from behind.

"Who was that I just saw you with?" Edward whispered into my neck.

I resisted the urge to roll my eyes and pulled in a deep breath instead. "Don't start," I warned.

His lips left warm kisses down my skin. "I wasn't going to," he answered, his warm breath on my neck making me feel fidgety.

"Mhmm," I hummed, not believing him in the slightest.

My hands slid up his forearms as his hold tightened around my waist. "Ready to get out of here?" he asked. "We're all heading to Newton's for food I think."

"Let me just say bye to my parents first," I said, scanning through the row of heads for them.

He kissed me once more before stepping back. "They're with my mom and dad," he told me, pointing to the area left of the stage as he linked his fingers with mine, pulling me forward.

I still got embarrassed holding hands in front of everyone... or rather in front of Charlie and his parents. Esme would smile every single time, and Edward's cheeks still got rosy. That part was totally worth it though. It was adorable.

Carlisle was dressed in a grey suit today, and I looked, but was no longer affected. He still had an amazing butt though.

_Hell. I was going to hell._

It didn't stop the other women in the crowd from staring though. Mothers all around us were staring coyly over their shoulders. Especially the elder ones. Forks had suddenly turned into Cougar Town. My fingers squeezed Edward's a little tighter, just to be on the safe side.

"Mom?" I said as we stopped in front of them. "We're going to go to Newtons for a bit."

She ran her hand along my hair. "Okay, baby, but be back at the house at seven. I'm cooking."

I saw Phil wince out of the corner of me eye, Charlie too, and bit my lip to stop the smile that was threatening to make an appearance. "Okay."

Esme kissed Edward's cheek and I fought the urge not to get jealous. That was _my_ face.

_Oh my god, there was something seriously wrong with me._

I'd end up having to go to some sort of addiction meeting... maybe after finding a collection of t-shirts in the back of my closest with his face printed on them. I should start praying for myself now, rather than later.

The next thing I knew, my own mother was pulling him in for a kiss, his lips forming into a smirk when he caught the expression on my face.

"You get younger every time I see you, Renee," he smiled, even going as far as to wink at her.

_Gross, was she flirting?_ I had to look away.

Esme wrapped me up into a hug, whispering another congratulations in my ear, making me smile. Then Carlisle stepped forward to kiss my cheek, and I was almost tempted to slap his butt, but thought against it on account of present company.

I caught Edward's eye, and he was the one glaring then. I grinned back at him.

"Hey!" Emmett's voice shouted at us from a few feet away. "Can we go now? I'm wasting away over here," he whined.

Charlie's 'stache twitched and Esme shook her head at her son, smiling.

"You ready?" Edward asked as I waved back at the adults.

I licked my lips, turning my head to quickly press my mouth to his. "Yeah, I'm ready."

He got that look in his eye and I flushed all over. "Want to make a pit-stop first?" he smirked. "I know a great little secluded spot. Lots of trees, maybe a squirrel or two, that sort of thing."

Pulling away from him, but reaching back for his hand, I wondered, "Is that all you think about?"

"Mostly," he answered honestly. "You're too irresistible for your own good. I can't be held accountable in the slightest."

I laughed. "You're so full of shit."

He came back up behind me again, his hands on my hips as we followed Alice to the parking lot. "I'm full of something else, too," he whispered into my ear, causing my chest to hurt as my laughter continued until tears sprung to my eyes.

"Sick," I told him. "Sick."

OoOoO

"I'm so hungry," Em groaned, his hand splayed over his stomach. "I haven't eaten all day."

Edward tore the wrapper from his straw. "You had cereal this morning," he replied, brow raised.

Em waved him off. "Like that counts. Cereal is considered rabbit food. Everyone knows that."

"Obviously," Jazz interjected, smiling as he took a gulp of his Coke.

The ice clinked in my glass as I swirled my straw in my own drink. "I can't wait for my burger. I was too nervous to eat this morning."

"Me, too," Alice agreed, putting her gum in a napkin before crumpling it into a ball.

"Amateurs," Em interrupted, laughing when Alice threw her napkin at him.

Edward's hand found my bare knee under the table and I discreetly tried to push it away. He would always try this; try and get me worked up when we were out in public.

His teasing was never-ending, but my favourite thing of all was when I'd find him looking at me, no ulterior motives, his eyes soft and his smile curling up at one side.

It never failed to make my heart skip a beat.

"Stop it," I whisper-hissed, pinching at the side of his thigh when he completely ignored me.

His hand curved around my thigh tightly in retaliation. "Stop what?" he whispered back, turning his head to look at me. _Smug, beautiful face._

"I have a fork in my hand," I warned.

"No you don't," he pointed out with a smile.

I pushed some hair from the side of my face. "Yeah, but I could," I said, glancing back to the table. "Our food will be here shortly, and then you'll be sorry."

"It's here now," he grinned, nodding to the waitress. "And you promise?"

I raised a brow. "Just you wait."

"And since when do you eat your burger with a fork, anyway?" he asked, pushing his drink aside as he made room for his food.

"Since right now," I said stubbornly, thanking the girl with the braids as she set my plate down in front of me.

I unwrapped my cutlery from its napkin and started cutting up my burger... with difficulty. Edward smirked the whole time.

"That's the saddest thing I've ever seen," Em commented once I was done, his mouth full with fries.

Rose pushed the bottom of his chin up, effectively closing his mouth. "Gross, Em."

"What?" he shrugged, chewing quickly. "Bella's making me edgy. Who cuts up their burger like that? It's not normal."

"You're not normal," Alice snorted, causing Jazz to laugh.

"Yeah, Bella," Edward interjected with a smirk. "Stop it, you're making Emmett uncomfortable." He took a mouthful of Coke, eyes twinkling.

I stabbed a chunk of ground beef and put it in my mouth slowly, my eyes on Edward the whole time. I moaned lightly, remembering the very first time I'd teased him with this sound, in this very same diner, while eating the very same thing.

He eyes dipped to my mouth, the hand that was still on my leg inching a little higher.

_Game on, Buddy._

The best things in life were those that brought you back to a moment, a place; the ones that brought a smile to your face and a jolt to your heart. For me, that was my friends, my parents, my pseudo family...

For me, that was _Edward_.

We'd been through so much together in such a short period of time. He'd broken my heart and stitched it back up so many times I was unsure how it could still feel.

But I think it always would when it came to Edward, whether the moment be good or bad.

"What are you thinking about?" he wondered, pulling me closer to him.

I looked up at his face, my food momentarily forgotten, my heart full. "You," I answered truthfully.

He smiled, looking right back, his thumb sweeping back and forth against my cheek. "Oh yeah?" he questioned.

"Yeah," I nodded. "Is that okay with you?"

"Hmm, that depends," he said, his expression thoughtful.

I laughed. "On what?" I asked.

"On what it is you're thinking about," he said, momentarily leaning forward to kiss my forehead.

My eyes fluttered shut, my smile formed from one of mischievous teasing as I felt his hand inching its way under my skirt again.

"Well," I said slowly. "It involves you, your hand, and a fork..."

I didn't get to say much else, as my mouth was suddenly full of burger, his palm smushed to my lips.

Eyes wide and cheeks full of bread, I glared up at him playfully. "Oh, you really shouldn't have done that," I said through a mouthful of food, one hand in front of my mouth as I swept a finger through my ketchup on my plate with the other.

Before he had time to react, I wiped it across his cheek, hearing the others laugh around us before leaving us to our own devices - they were used to us being in our own little world by now.

"You know," I laughed, grinning up at his pissed expression, "red really is your colour. You should wear it more often."

His eyes narrowed further, in teasing contemplation, his tongue coming out to wet his lips.

"I think it would look a lot better on you," he said, grabbing my face as he pressed his cheek to mine, tickling me with his now tomato-sticky stubble.

"Get off me," I giggled, eyes screwed shut as his onslaught continued.

His lips replaced his cheek, kissing my face all over, again and again. "Truce?" he said between cushiony soft presses of his mouth.

Biting lightly against his chin, I whispered: "For now."

He dipped a corner of his napkin into Rose's glass of water when she wasn't looking, wiping my face clean as I shoved another bit of burger into my mouth.

I was sure the sight of us was sickening, but I didn't care. And from the look on Edward's face, I didn't think he did either.

The voices of those around us comforted me like an old, favoured sweater, Jazz bickering with Rose about something as Em flicked sodden balls of napkin into Alice's hair.

I smiled, knowing we had a whole summer of doing whatever we wanted before heading to college.

And I as relaxed back into Edward's arms, his lips at my temple, whispering things that made me giggle, I couldn't help but wonder:

Why did I ever try to evade Edward?

* * *

**Again, thank you all so much from the bottom of my heart for reading. I'm going to miss these two, and all of you as well.**

**Love,**

**VHL xx**


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